do I have the horniest parents?

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Postby black drum » Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:55 am

What I am saying is that I am the horniest parent
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Postby mondays » Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:58 am

i am not a parent and i don't fuck
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Postby Catullus » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:22 pm

I can picture DRAGONS mother and I'm loving it
opi wrote:like i don't think it's possible for catullus to be duplicitous, whereas pretty much every other poster at the time struck me as having one foot in shinra
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Postby milano boy » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:28 pm

MOTHER OF DRAGONS





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repus lumen
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Postby pana » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:30 pm

Catullus wrote:I can picture DRAGONS mother and I'm loving it

patricia clarkson?
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Postby milano boy » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:34 pm

wait this one is better

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Postby Grey Poupon » Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:48 pm

DRAGONS wrote:my mums a weird hippy with long red hair down to her butt and always buys clothes at the shop in the mall that sells dragon statues and drives around in a vw that has a picture of bob Marley smoking a joint painted in rasta colours if that helps you picture this situation better

This explains a lot
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Postby inspectorhound » Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:53 pm

your parents should open an artisan furniture shop
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Postby Guy Incognito » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:02 pm

i'm really enjoying the phrase "pat my cat"
wendy wrote:It is not dank
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Postby Pope Laserblast IV » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:07 pm

my mom once told a vanful of my friends, out of nowhere, that my little brother had walked in on she and my dad

will never forget the utter silence in that honda odyssey, "the way" by fastball blaring through its shitty speakers
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Postby Stuntman » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:19 pm

My brother and I are convinced that our parents banged twice.
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Postby fox » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:25 pm

Catullus wrote:I can picture DRAGONS mother and I'm loving it


Should be an option for your thread
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Postby Paul » Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:17 pm

DRAGONS wrote:my boyfriend met my mum for the first time when we were on holidays overseas staying at my parents resort so we were all v cocktail drunk and my bf complained that whenever I had to leave to use the bathroom my mum was asking about if he can leave wet patches like what the heck mum


Oh man
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Postby john penis » Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:54 pm

Paul wrote:
DRAGONS wrote:my boyfriend met my mum for the first time when we were on holidays overseas staying at my parents resort so we were all v cocktail drunk and my bf complained that whenever I had to leave to use the bathroom my mum was asking about if he can leave wet patches like what the heck mum


Oh man



can someone plz explain this charming strayacism
Dr. Norm Thagard wrote:You have truly outside yourself
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Postby fuckyoudad » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:03 pm

i hate to be a debbie downer but blenders sound nothing like vibrators
Note: mildly comedic.
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Postby john penis » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:07 pm

immersion blenders




:ahuh: :ahuh:
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Postby pana » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:15 pm

fuckyoudad wrote:i hate to be a debbie downer but blenders sound nothing like vibrators

i was thinking more like a muffled mini mixer, not a powerful blender

it's still not a good joke but i'm glad we're analyzing it
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Postby atomicbombshell » Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:40 am

i once put an unmarked vhs into the player that i can never unsee
☽ ☾ ● ◯ ● ☽ ☾

The moon put her hand over my mouth and told me to shut up and watch.
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Postby Paul » Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:42 am

atomicbombshell wrote:i once put an unmarked vhs into the player that i can never unsee



:o

I walked in on something I'll never unsee either. Whether or not that helped lead to my non-existent sex life, I don't know.
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Postby jeffrey » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:49 am

DRAGONS wrote:just tryna navigate parents and sexuality


i was about to post "black drum to thread" but i got to this page and saw he was here
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Postby Stuntman » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:49 am

john penis wrote:
Paul wrote:
DRAGONS wrote:my boyfriend met my mum for the first time when we were on holidays overseas staying at my parents resort so we were all v cocktail drunk and my bf complained that whenever I had to leave to use the bathroom my mum was asking about if he can leave wet patches like what the heck mum


Oh man



can someone plz explain this charming strayacism


I don't think it's necessarily Strayan.
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Postby Permafrost » Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:04 am

what kinda vw are we talking about
vintage combi? brand new touareg? well maintained 90s soft top golf?
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Postby Jefferson Zeppelin » Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:17 am

midnight smoothies, anyone?
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Postby dragons69 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:26 am

Image it now has a sticker that says more karma less drama with a big yellow smiley face on the front window across in big letters
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Postby Stuntman » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:30 am

OMG a Thing.
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Postby dragons69 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:35 am

they have two of these cars and a modern convertible vw with private number plate of tree hippy, they also have a canoe in the same design and another of their boats is called the 420 explorer. I appreciate my mothers commitment to aesthetics.
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Postby dragons69 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:37 am

anyway how are u board, I have the worst period cramps right now so I ate a bunch of codeine and got a big pile of grapes and back home and gonna stay up all night high playing the new yakuza life is beautiful
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Postby Grey Poupon » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:42 am

BOTP'ing with this banger
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Postby dragons69 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:46 am

I think codeine is very underrated if u like to roll around bed naked appreciating ur sheets as u wait for load screens in video games
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Postby apostrophe » Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:48 am

Your parents seem cool. Definitely hornier than my parents. I will try to be a horny parent.
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