Finally reading the Bible

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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:06 am

all in all i would say the bible is not a great religious text, especially compared to the bhagavad gita or dhammapada
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:07 am

iambic wrote:I'd just pick and choose some books out of if it

it is kind of breathtaking how boring and, like, pedantic extended sections of it are

it also reads really fast and isn't actually that long
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:08 am

honestly, most of the new testament is garbage normie shit where nothing happens tho
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Postby iambic » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:10 am

for actual understanding christians stuff, do the gospels, acts, romans

for fun, read job, revelations, ezekiel, daniel, lamentations, song of songs

also the apocrypha stuff for daniel is good. susanna/bel and the dragon
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:11 am

i do think that one of the more interesting things about reading the old testament in quick order is the period of literary traditions it spans
it very much starts off with angels, giants and rape and by the end it's man made bombs, complex systems of governance and rape (also angels but now they're like michael bay angels)
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:15 am

universe wrote:I don't really understand how fundamentalists get over that the first two chapters of the Bible are different versions of the same story. Right from the get go the book is telling you it isn't a literally true depiction of events.

i mean, it's not "a book", in that sense
but religious traditions also aren't built around scripture in quite the academic sense you're implying
take for example catholics who basically don't do scripture in any substantial manner at all and are largely about the social and historical structure of the church itself
Last edited by bruceagain on Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby a falsetto child » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:15 am

I second Bruce's opinion of read the NIV if you're going to read it.
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:17 am

universe wrote:
bruceagain wrote:
universe wrote:I don't really understand how fundamentalists get over that the first two chapters of the Bible are different versions of the same story. Right from the get go the book is telling you it isn't a literally true depiction of events.

i mean, it's not "a book", in that sense
but religious traditions also aren't built around scripture in quite the academic sense you're implying
take for example catholics who basically don't do scripture at all


I'm talking about people who view the Bible as a literal historical document.

yeah, but they also don't really is my point
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:19 am

it's a bit of a trap to fall into to say that the issue with fundamentalist christianity is that they're obsessed with the old testament
it's not wholly removed from saying that isis exists because the quran preaches violence to infidels
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Postby iambic » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:23 am

in bel and the dragon, daniel feeds the false idol dragon until it explodes, and then he's like "ha, you'd worship a thing that explodes from overeating??"

that's my kind of religion
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:26 am

iambic wrote:in bel and the dragon, daniel feeds the false idol dragon until it explodes, and then he's like "ha, you'd worship a thing that explodes from overeating??"

that's my kind of religion

well, daniel in fact feeds it a kind of bomb that he tricks it into eating and then convinces people that it died from overeating which is even better but yes
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:27 am

the end of the old testament gets pretty whacky with that kind of stuff is what i was saying earlier
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:28 am

bruceagain wrote:it's a bit of a trap to fall into to say that the issue with fundamentalist christianity is that they're obsessed with the old testament
it's not wholly removed from saying that isis exists because the quran preaches violence to infidels

universe wrote:Who said that

universe wrote:I'm talking about people who view the Bible as a literal historical document.
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:29 am

look, if i can do this with a BAC of .2 you should probably just retire, bitch
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:31 am

universe wrote:I don't really understand how fundamentalists get over that the first two chapters of the Bible are different versions of the same story. Right from the get go the book is telling you it isn't a literally true depiction of events.
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:32 am

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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:33 am

(sorry, john)
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:34 am

universe wrote:You can keep quoting my posts but that won't make them contain words or sentiments I didn't write.

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Postby brittle » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:34 am

when i was a friendless 15 year old living in the middle of nowhere i loved reading the bible. i was really anxious and depressed so it was a good way to focus my attention elsewhere and feel good about going to heaven. i even baptisted myself in the bathtub just in case.

then when i realized religion was bullshit, i had the background of a decade of church, and having read the whole bible (as well as the new testament half a dozen times) to not feel the least bit unsure about jumping into all-out aethism when i was 19. i bet more casual christians would be aethists if they were better christains when they were kids.
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Postby rich uncle skeleton » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:40 am

universe wrote:My high school theology teacher taught us that the miracle of the bread and fishes wasn't that Jesus magically created bread and fish for the people who gathered to see him, it's that he inspired them to share what they'd brought so everyone had some and was just written poetically (that whenever people reached into the basket being passed it was always full/never ran out even though it only started with a meager amount of food).

This is pretty similar to how Tolstoy reads (and re-translates) the Gospel
That is about a million times more profound and affecting than the idea that Jesus is a genie.

And this is the result (not that the KJV of the Gospels aren't profound and affecting, Tolstoy just brings it out well imo)
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:48 am

drive that fast wrote:it's amazing me how much of the bgible i know from japanese role playing games and anime.

this will fade as you get further through the ot and then go off fucking tits when you get to matthew
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Postby Slamwich Artist » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:58 am

Counterpoint: absolutely stick with KJV, and read Dwight MacDonald's review of the Revised Standard Version if you feel your resolve fading
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Postby brittle » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:58 am

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And lo, in the First Trinity there were 77 replies and 777 views. And it was GOOD.
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Postby Cone » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:59 am

The Bible as a book slays.

The Bible as a religious text does not slay.
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Postby bruceagain » Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:01 am

Slamwich Artist wrote:Counterpoint: absolutely stick with KJV, and read Dwight MacDonald's review of the Revised Standard Version if you feel your resolve fading

man, i love macdonald but i think this argument works in favour of reading the NIV rather than against
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Postby Kwisatz Haderach » Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:14 am

Are we really debating the veracity of the Bible in 2017?
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Postby brittle » Thu Apr 27, 2017 11:00 am

drive that fast wrote:it's amazing me how much of the bgible i know from japanese role playing games and anime.

when i took arts and humanities in my first semester of college i already knew like 75% of the books we read from watching ducktails
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Postby Kwisatz Haderach » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:17 pm

That Ducktails ep about the Gulag Archipelago was brutal.
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Postby cartola » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:29 pm

The bible is a pretty teriffic book. So many revisions.
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Postby WeirdJungle » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:11 pm

If I had another lifetime to spend on it I would love to be a scholar of early Christianity and religious texts. It seems like such a massive, historically important, and widely misunderstood cluster of documents and phenomena that you could easily just spend forever digging around in there.

That said, I have basically nothing to contribute to this thread except that I thought the Gospel of Judas was pretty cool when I found out about it as a teenager.
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