Finally Watching [Nostalgia Movies]

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Spoilt Victorian Child » Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:25 am

I really feel like they could've done a better job of making that painting look like it was from the Romantic period. It almost seems like they didn't care at all.
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Postby Spoilt Victorian Child » Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:28 am

Here for instance is a genuine Romantic painting, with strong thematic similarities, that would be much worse if it came to life:

Image
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Postby Spoilt Victorian Child » Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:30 am

Good movie otherwise though. Just fine really.
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Postby mites » Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:45 pm

Merciel wrote:a good one was a couple of hours ago when he jammed both of his feet into his bead maze (as in, got both feet tangled up in the guide wires) and then tried to haul himself up onto the coffee table so that, presumably, he could catapult off the side and break both legs into really impressive serial fractures

when we disentangled his feet from the bead maze he screamed his fucking ass off and immediately went right back to stomping his feet into the guide wires again

so if that sounds like a cool fun thing you want to do for four hours, sure, be my guest

Life is so precious and beautiful
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Postby chairkicker » Tue Oct 10, 2017 3:29 pm

this is a post i wanted to make a while back after svc mentioned silence of the lambs having its cake with buffalo bill. i think there's a decent counterargument in the fact that demme uses "hip priest" and "goodbye horses", songs he obviously loves, to play up the creep factor in a couple key bill scenes. their proximity to those moments accents their existing oddity and that in turn compounds bill's oddity but there's no suggestion that because buffalo bill is listening to or even enjoying this music that you should feel implicated for enjoying it too. their strangeness and that resulting transgressive appeal doesn't equate to bill's fucked narcissism. and if you think of buffalo bill as psychopathic hipster i think that's clear
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Postby chairkicker » Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:08 pm

i wrote that in a hurry but ill try to expand on it later hopefully without making the dumbest fucking point
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Postby Merciel » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:07 am

Home Alone (1990)

In retrospect it's a little weird that Macaulay Culkin was a huge child star because woof that kid cannot act. Each and every one of his line deliveries is agony.

He was a really cute kid though so I guess that's enough to have a career in 1990.

This movie aged pretty weirdly. The violence wasn't as offensive or unfunny as I'd feared, mostly because it's such ludicrously cartoonish violence and the entire universe in which this stuff happens is a giant pile of lols. Like there are these burglars who target all the houses on a single street and actually go up to all the homeowners and introduce themselves as part of the casing process, and then their "calling card" is to cause discernible, patterned property damage before the burglary spree is even finished, and it's just, like, uh... huh.

I really enjoyed how Macaulay Culkin pours water down all the steps of his house to encase them with a half-inch layer of ice, but even though it never goes above freezing and there's still snow everywhere in the neighborhood, the ice is just magically gone when his family returns the next morning.

I also enjoyed how his mom is the only one who gives a shit about him. Going into this thing, I was all prepared to cringe about another dated comedy where the mom is a villainous figure because she NEGLECTS HER MOTHERLY DUTIES but the dad just gets a pass because The Patriarchy. But in fact the movie doesn't particularly castigate the mom. She just gets worked up because she's the only one who cares. Culkin's dad is totally happy to just be like "ey, whaddaya gonna do! pass the champagne, we're in first class!"

Additionally it's pretty funny that his mom is willing to hitchhike with a bunch of polka weirdos and hand over all her money and jewelry to some rando in the airport boarding line, but apparently it doesn't occur to her to just rent a goddamn car and drive home once she gets back to the U.S. They live in a car-dependent suburb, you can't possibly excuse this by saying that maybe she just doesn't know how to drive.

I wonder what the snow shovel guy did to estrange himself from his son. I will always wonder that. I know why the movie doesn't explain this (no explanation could possibly be satisfying and also it would probably be way too grim for a ilghthearted Christmas comedy built on running nails through people's feet and lighting their heads on fire), but it will always remain an enduring mystery to me.

Anyway this movie is pretty funny but none of the humor is intentional. The intentional jokes are almost all bad. Sorry, John Candy and Catherine O'Hara. You tried hard.

5.5/10
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Postby Spoilt Victorian Child » Wed Jan 03, 2018 5:21 am

Yeah Home Alone is a "dad doesn't give a shit" classic.

By far the strangest thing about this movie is that they didn't just call John Candy's character "Del Griffith." He is playing Del Griffith... it's a John Hughes movie... for what possible reason have you given him the name "Gus Polinski"...
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Postby Stuntman » Wed Jan 03, 2018 5:35 am

Even as a kid, I would get so frustrated that the snow shoveling old man rescues Kevin from the Wet Bandits but doesn't stay with him until the police arrive. He just brings him back to his house without attempting to inform his parents and then (presumably) goes home. I guess the movie would not benefit from having any of that happen but...
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Postby Jeremy » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:03 am

I remember enjoying Home Alone as a kid but in retrospect it's playing on such a deranged complex of fears and desires. I guess it really is just all in the way that it's pitched so the peril and violence both barely register and all you're left with is the Rube Goldberg stuff. Weird for a movie to actually rely on failing to be emotionally involving in order to work. I guess you see how carefully balanced it is when you compare it to the sequel which is like maybe 10% more insane in terms of its objective content but reads as of the most appalling things I've ever seen.
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Postby goofjan » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:39 am

Merciel wrote:I wonder what the snow shovel guy did to estrange himself from his son. I will always wonder that. I know why the movie doesn't explain this (no explanation could possibly be satisfying and also it would probably be way too grim for a ilghthearted Christmas comedy built on running nails through people's feet and lighting their heads on fire), but it will always remain an enduring mystery to me.

I'm sure there will be an Old Man Shovel prequel soon.
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby Merciel » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:20 pm

My actual favorite thing about Home Alone is that apparently SVC grew up thinking the MacAllisters were poor.
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Postby forest design » Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:13 pm

To me Macaulay being as “bad” as he is is a huge part of the charm. And I think it was built in. Not that Hughes was looking for a kid who couldn’t act, but he’s not supposed to be Ferris all sauce and sure of himself and had he been the movie wouldn’t have worked in anything like the way it did. I think he’s brilliant in scenes with the shovel guy, and in the grocery store: as awkward as a kid his age usually is.
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Postby forest design » Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:40 pm

Macaulay is to Home Alone what Keanu is to pretty much any movie he’s in, or Nicholas Cage. None of what they do is due to acting range or believability and complaining they lack it is kinda entirely beside the point, I think.
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Postby Merciel » Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:30 pm

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

I feel like I should be able to ironically love this movie a lot more than I do (Keanu's hilarious accent! Gary Oldman's purple glasses! all those half-naked ladies writhing around garishly on big red beds!), but Interview with the Vampire holds all my '90s overblown vampire movie affections and I just can't get on board with what Coppola's trying to do with this one. I get it, I just don't like it.

I was super drunk throughout watching this movie, which is far and away the best way to watch it, and while I can appreciate it on the level of "this should be a prime hpn movie club selection," it is actually just... extremely bad. The effects are bad, all the acting is bad, the character design of Gary Oldman's weird-ass Dracula is bad (there is nothing remotely stylish or charismatic about this concept, and woof that '90s styling did not age well), the plot is a complete wondrous wtf beyond mortal comprehension, and the whole thing's just a giant lurid breathless heaving mess.

Which is kind of good, I guess, or at least entertaining, but also... no not really.

5/10
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