i think that internet dating has pushed a lot of men (desperate to differentiate themselves from the herds of creepy, abusive, unpleasant, or even nondescript messages) to open with some variant of "hi, so, how glad are you that i'm not like those other guys?"
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts
Zarathustra wrote:"I am a libertarian at the global level, conservative at country level, centrist at city level, socialist in my neighbourhood level, communist in my family"
Mine Is Clouds wrote:also my go to first date question was 'so what's the weirdest/worst online dating experience youve had?" which while a good conversation starter was also a horrifying eye opener. one of the first times i asked it this girl told me she had decided against seeing a guy after 1 or 2 dates and he proceeded to find all her online accounts and flood her with rambling messages, culminating in repeatedly calling her a whore on twitter for re-activating her okc account. then he showed up at her work at some point just to stalk.
...and this woman still agreed to meet me - a total stranger and a man- in a dive bar for drinks. wild shit. most all of them had similar stories. probably just kill all men.
i've been on like. two (possibly three?) dates in the past year thanks to my tinder stalker! and one (possibly two?) of those were with guys i already knew!
i think that internet dating has pushed a lot of men (desperate to differentiate themselves from the herds of creepy, abusive, unpleasant, or even nondescript messages) to open with some variant of "hi, so, how glad are you that i'm not like those other guys?"
my other openers were genuine like 'oh man i saw [band from profile i also liked] play in _____" (generic example) but even then you have to wrestle with the knowledge that this will be better received than an 'other guy' message which you know she is flooded with.
gotta search deep for your true motivations
same with irl interactions. i wear/like glasses. also into certain boots. i compliment people on them sometimes. when i was single and did so to a woman...was i relying on the knowledge that a girl who had been catcalled all week might be glad to hear that and show interest in me? or was i just being a decent person? both? which one was the primary driver.
do all the 'rest of us' men solely rely on other men being worse than us when interacting with women? even when we think we're not? use it as a reason to never improve?
i did once text an unsolicited portrait of Richard Nixon when i had been away for a couple weeks, but only because Corny Dad Humor is the foundation of my entire dumb personality
Yes, sir, I've become a real "Net-Head!" I don't know how I communicated before I got online!
i think that internet dating has pushed a lot of men (desperate to differentiate themselves from the herds of creepy, abusive, unpleasant, or even nondescript messages) to open with some variant of "hi, so, how glad are you that i'm not like those other guys?"
i mean this seems fine if you're not also creepy, abusive, unpleasant yourself.
men integrating not being shitty to women into their self-concepts probably is a good thing aslong as A, it's sincere & b, they ca still recognize when they hold unconsciously sexist beliefs without that self-concept bursting.
i think that internet dating has pushed a lot of men (desperate to differentiate themselves from the herds of creepy, abusive, unpleasant, or even nondescript messages) to open with some variant of "hi, so, how glad are you that i'm not like those other guys?"
i mean this seems fine if you're not also creepy, abusive, unpleasant yourself.
yeah. i think it's silly and mostly just part and parcel of dealing with internet dating stuff
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts
Zarathustra wrote:"I am a libertarian at the global level, conservative at country level, centrist at city level, socialist in my neighbourhood level, communist in my family"