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Postby grace cathedral park » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:52 pm

Kenny wrote:I said: What she sad was bad but she wasn't being malicious, we shouldn't go for the throat so much and that everybody does it so I'm not saying it's the Board Friends that are to blame and that it was bad but she was speaking her feelings without being malicious and we should listen because as we all love to say we don't listen to women very much. We should have just talked about it.


fuck off, petty.

that's exactly how this all began. people tried to patiently talk to her about their grievances. and then other people tried to patiently talk to her about why those people were offended. and she acted like an asshole about it the entire time.

you're erasing the numerous amounts of hand holding, second chances, and good faith that boarders who were actually hurt by her posts gave her.
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Postby Kenny » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:53 pm

I don't think she acted like an asshole. It's weird how there are different perspectives. I think you're putting that on her. I think she was off base but I think her years of good boarding and being an obvious good person offset a situation where she wasn't being as aware as she could have been.
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Postby Kenny » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:55 pm

Like I'm agreeing with you that she was in the wrong, but you're acting like I'm a piece of shit here because I don't think she was a bad person because of it
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Postby grace cathedral park » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:56 pm

i literally don't know what you want

people fucking ROASTED me over joking about dalen's child. he wasn't even offended by that. and yet i got shit for twenty pages about how fucked up my post was.

and then norm makes a joke, BECAUSE ALL NORM DOES IS JOKES, that actually offended someone and somehow norm is the victim because she doesn't want to apologize?
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Postby grace cathedral park » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:57 pm

i'm not saying she's a bad person or you have to think she's a bad person

i just think you don't need to keep saying how awesome norm is. it's already known. you're delegitimizing the pain that whips experienced by continuing to harp on this bullshit like a month after all of it went down.
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Postby Kenny » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:58 pm

I think that was wrong for them to roast you too! All I want is in the post that you fucking deleted because you felt like it

I think the board is less now that she's gone and I think it's bad that we constantly go for the throat. I think we have to be able to coexist with people we disagree with even if they fuck up on occaision because we can sense that they are decent or trying to be decent. She's not an enemy of yours, or probably anybody on this board
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Postby Kenny » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:00 pm

I believe I've said plenty of times that I like you, and if I haven't made it clear let me do it now: I think you're a good person. I think the people that made her feel bad enough to quit are good people. That's why I think the whole situation is a bad one
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Postby chad » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:01 pm

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Postby grace cathedral park » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:05 pm

i'm sorry for deleting your post.

if i thought norm was a bad person, she would be banned but she's not. she is free to post on this message board as much as anybody else is. it's her prerogative.

i hope she spends her board break thinking about the discussions she has and becomes more sensitive and aware of those things. that is all i ask of her at this point.
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Postby Kenny » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:06 pm

Hell, I guess that's what I feel too

I know I spend a lot of my time thinking about what my values are and where they could be wrong and how my feelings can affect people. I've fucked up before and I'll fuck up again
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Postby grace cathedral park » Tue Aug 07, 2018 7:03 pm

What is your version of the events?
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Postby silverapples » Wed Aug 08, 2018 1:08 am

Kenny wrote:I think that was wrong for them to roast you too! All I want is in the post that you fucking deleted because you felt like it

I think the board is less now that she's gone and I think it's bad that we constantly go for the throat. I think we have to be able to coexist with people we disagree with even if they fuck up on occaision because we can sense that they are decent or trying to be decent. She's not an enemy of yours, or probably anybody on this board

this isn't "disagree with", it's like, an ontological assault. it's the kind of thing that, when repeatedly confronted with, corrodes and negates one's self-understanding. how can you tell someone they have to be able to live with that? why should anyone have to live with that?
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:25 am

Kenny wrote:I don't think she acted like an asshole. It's weird how there are different perspectives. I think you're putting that on her. I think she was off base but I think her years of good boarding and being an obvious good person offset a situation where she wasn't being as aware as she could have been.

i said this once before and the board freaked out because cis white guys resent being told they don't have privileges but you don't get to decide she wasn't being an asshole (nor do i) because you aren't the target (intended or otherwise) of her joke/behavior

people can be assholes without meaning to be

i think a bunch of people have said it was obvious she wasn't intending to be malicious when it started but i mean when someone very reasonably says "this is hurtful for these reasons" and you double down instead of just being like "i'm sorry, i didn't realize" it's uhh pretty unkind

the solution is pretty simple imo. be kind to people. if someone tells you earnestly and in good faith that something is harmful or hurtful and it will take virtually zero effort for you to change your language or behavior in order to make a space more welcoming and accommodating and less alienating and toxic...ummm fuckin make that change??????? be mindful??????????? just try?????? ty <3333
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:28 am

My point in saying I don't *think* she was an asshole was to show the different perspective where he did think she was an asshole, not to argue with finality about whether she was and/or is an asshole, QED

There was also a bit in my deleted post where I said that I get that it was bad she double down but people have a fight or flight instinct and sometimes they choose one or the other. And in her deleted "statment" she talked about her doubling down.

her post is way better than mine and I wish somehow that it was saved in the rest of her posts being deleted
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:32 am

my point is that your point is irrelevant because you aren't part of any marginalized group let alone the one impacted/excluded by her behavior/language
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:34 am

I think that's specious as hell. I'm not defending her words (which i agree would take a larger stake in the problem) and have said so multiple times, but her character
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:35 am

i don't think her character needs defending. i'm pretty sure not a single person here thinks she's a bad person
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Postby easy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:36 am

kenny you can stop adding posts to this discussion at any time you'd like
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:37 am

wendy wrote:i don't think her character needs defending. i'm pretty sure not a single person here thinks she's a bad person


Then why are my posts so controversial? My argument is that I wish she hadn't left, and that everybody involved is good
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:37 am

easy wrote:kenny you can stop adding posts to this discussion at any time you'd like


u can 2
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:38 am

Kenny wrote:
wendy wrote:i don't think her character needs defending. i'm pretty sure not a single person here thinks she's a bad person


Then why are my posts so controversial? My argument is that I wish she hadn't left, and that everybody involved is good

your posts are controversial because you continue to post your takes after being repeatedly told they're not needed or even relevant
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:38 am

I feel like me and Quartz had an interesting and good convo and retired it amicably, but you're entitled to your opinion too

Quartz last post itt is responding to a deleted post from norm, in case that isn't clear
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:40 am

Kenny wrote:I feel like me and Quartz had an interesting and good convo and retired it amicably, but you're entitled to your opinion too

Quartz last post itt is responding to a deleted post from norm, in case that isn't clear

thank you white guy for acknowledging my right to an opinion
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:40 am

Phew, I'm glad I opened that post for you
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Postby wendy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:42 am

same, thank you so much
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:43 am

You're very welcome
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Postby Kenny » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:56 am

I already am feeling lame about the above and get what you mean about how people can just be assholes and need to be told. I'm just trying to mediate between two people I like and I get that I don't always need to jump in, and the feeling that I do is part of my malfunction.

I was even in a mediation team in my high school :-P

I won't post itt, even if I get defensive about people calling me stupid (which I will)
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Postby new blood, old hat » Thu Aug 09, 2018 12:57 am

Hey news for yall
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Postby new blood, old hat » Thu Aug 09, 2018 12:57 am

Nobody reads this thread
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