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Postby Milk » Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:26 pm

What's killing you right now?


I've been having a fasciculation (that's a muscle twitching on its own in case you're not familiar with medical terminology as i am...) on my nose every day every 5 mins or so for like 5 days. Muscle twitching on the right side. Well no sunday i didnt have any actually. I'm sure its nothing but of course after two days i googled it and while there's a bunch of benign reasons (like benign fasciculation syndrome, which oh imagine that, is common in people with anxiety disorders) they also list some scary neurological shit and despite the fact that these normally present with other symptoms for the scary stuff, i can't help as an hypochondriac, the longer it lasts the more i get worried about it.

I also had a lower lip twitch some weeks back but weirdly this one ONLY ever happened after eating breakfast and for like 20 seconds it would twitch and then would go for the rest of the day. It did that 3 days in a row and once after brushing my teeth and then went away. I've had fasciculations here and there in my life like most everyone but never always in the same spot and constantly like this.
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Postby Paul » Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:27 pm

I get chest pain where my heart is so I take an aspirin
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Postby Milk » Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:16 am

See i never worry when i get pain there because they say heart attacks hurt in the middle o fthe chest. Though i suppose someone could have some sort of chronic heart problem that hurts there. Or like pericarditis. Still it seems in general heart related pains hurt in the middle
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Postby internethandle » Thu Apr 05, 2018 1:29 am

hi!

fasciculations are almost always nothing. if you had ALS you'd have some other neurological symptom likely preceding it, is my understanding. if you don't believe me the benign fasciculation syndrome hypochondriacs are actually quite useful in that their communities do a good job of assuring other hypochondriacs that they don't, in fact, have ALS (or other serious neurological conditions) and can give you more information as to the reasons why, but then you're left with the reality of BFS possibly not being a real thing and all these people reinforcing each others' suffering.

myoclonic jerks are more scary to me and not very much fun at all! thankfully i haven't had one in some time and chalk it up to probably meds/withdrawals.
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Postby internethandle » Thu Apr 05, 2018 1:36 am

my internal health anxiety "stories" seem to have abated as of the last few months but before that i was entertaining the possibility of:

pancreatic cancer
duodenal ulcer
thoracic aortic aneurysm
abdominal aortic aneurysm
aortic valve disease

or some combination thereof! they weren't very "loud" stories though as far as this sort of thing has gone in the past and i was able to mostly just let them be until they quieted down due to some combination of time and/or a change in the way i experienced the body sensations i was pathologizing
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Postby Milk » Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:49 am

internethandle wrote:hi!

fasciculations are almost always nothing. if you had ALS you'd have some other neurological symptom likely preceding it, is my understanding. if you don't believe me the benign fasciculation syndrome hypochondriacs are actually quite useful in that their communities do a good job of assuring other hypochondriacs that they don't, in fact, have ALS (or other serious neurological conditions) and can give you more information as to the reasons why, but then you're left with the reality of BFS possibly not being a real thing and all these people reinforcing each others' suffering.

myoclonic jerks are more scary to me and not very much fun at all! thankfully i haven't had one in some time and chalk it up to probably meds/withdrawals.



yeah im actually glad it got so bad yesterday that i went deep into that google hole and i did in fact end up on the BFS forum and it helped a lot. Most med sites or wikipedia are so vague. But yeah the pattern for ALS is rather clear, it's almost always in a limb first and then it progresses along that neural pathway leaving muscles weak as it moves. If it is in the head. it's mouth and throat muscles. Anyway this is still here today though the frequency so far is far less. More like every ten mins instead of every 2 like yesterday.

Sometimes over googling shit like that makes it worse but in this case i got reassured. You always have some other hypochondriac jerks who are like OMG GET TO THE DOCTOR YOU COULD LITERALLY BE DYING. In a way despite the fact i made it's thread often the last person you want to talk to when you've got some health worry is another hypochondriac. But personally when its not me, i'm good at reassuring. I find it easier to be rational when it's not me. Gf is hypochondriac too but instead of working each other up, we keep each other in check.
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Postby Milk » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:00 am

internethandle wrote:
internethandle wrote:duodenal ulcer

or some combination thereof! they weren't very "loud" stories though as far as this sort of thing has gone in the past and i was able to mostly just let them be until they quieted down due to some combination of time and/or a change in the way i experienced the body sensations i was pathologizing



yeah because of my lifelong digestive issues (and IBS) anything you CAN get digestive system wise i've at least once in my life thought i had. Colon cancer is still my number 1 fear. It really didn't help last year when i started having this lactose intolerance. I'd have just liquid diarrhea every 30 mins for a whole day and horrible nausea and cramps and i thought clearly there's something horribly wrong with me and it's probably this colon cancer progressing (on and off the idea i have one has been in my head for like ten years now..). It took getting this three times before i even thought about dairy since i'd always consumed large amounts of it all my life.


Definitely my lifestyle doesn't help my hypochondria. I dont have much to distract me from my thoughts and anxieties. And if i DONT start trying to live a more helathy life i WILL eventually get something. Age doesnt help at all either of course. I knew it would do this but it's gotten much worse compared to how it was in my 20's when i could a last rationalize, well, i'm too young to get most anything that's bad, at least probability wise. But now getting to 40.... by the time im 45 i'll be a mess for sure. Past 50... i'll probably need to be on some strong downers all day long.
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Postby Kenny » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:02 am

My only weakness is a list of symptoms
My only weakness is, well, never mind, never mind
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Postby Milk » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:06 am

I have to say im not one of those hypochondriacs that INVENTS symptoms. I'm fine until something is slightly off in my body. And generally whatever thing has to have been going on for over 24 hours. 48 is like the threshold usually.
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Postby Dr. Norm Thagard » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:08 am

I'm not sure if I told you guys but I had diarrhea yesterday. I was very concerned, but my husband said it was no big deal.
delgriffith wrote:Yeah Norm.

OKterrific wrote:Norm yay

Cronos wrote:The world needs more Norm

Feech La Manna wrote:well here's Norm at least

night moves wrote: People like you make up false boogeyman to blame for their emotions being out of control
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Postby Dr. Norm Thagard » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:09 am

In my defense, it's hard not to be a hypochondriac when you are pregnant because it's just scary in general
delgriffith wrote:Yeah Norm.

OKterrific wrote:Norm yay

Cronos wrote:The world needs more Norm

Feech La Manna wrote:well here's Norm at least

night moves wrote: People like you make up false boogeyman to blame for their emotions being out of control
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Postby separator » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:09 am

Before we unite... none of you are contagious, right?
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Postby hadlex » Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:30 am

Milk wrote:
internethandle wrote:hi!

fasciculations are almost always nothing. if you had ALS you'd have some other neurological symptom likely preceding it, is my understanding. if you don't believe me the benign fasciculation syndrome hypochondriacs are actually quite useful in that their communities do a good job of assuring other hypochondriacs that they don't, in fact, have ALS (or other serious neurological conditions) and can give you more information as to the reasons why, but then you're left with the reality of BFS possibly not being a real thing and all these people reinforcing each others' suffering.

myoclonic jerks are more scary to me and not very much fun at all! thankfully i haven't had one in some time and chalk it up to probably meds/withdrawals.



yeah im actually glad it got so bad yesterday that i went deep into that google hole and i did in fact end up on the BFS forum and it helped a lot. Most med sites or wikipedia are so vague. But yeah the pattern for ALS is rather clear, it's almost always in a limb first and then it progresses along that neural pathway leaving muscles weak as it moves. If it is in the head. it's mouth and throat muscles. Anyway this is still here today though the frequency so far is far less. More like every ten mins instead of every 2 like yesterday.

Sometimes over googling shit like that makes it worse but in this case i got reassured. You always have some other hypochondriac jerks who are like OMG GET TO THE DOCTOR YOU COULD LITERALLY BE DYING. In a way despite the fact i made it's thread often the last person you want to talk to when you've got some health worry is another hypochondriac. But personally when its not me, i'm good at reassuring. I find it easier to be rational when it's not me. Gf is hypochondriac too but instead of working each other up, we keep each other in check.


I was freaked out about BFS last spring after I got really dehydrated on a backpacking trip. My legs wouldn't stop those little spasms (it felt like bubbling under my skin). It wouldn't go away and I was panicked about all kinds of possibilities. I would lie in bed and just feel these little spasms and I couldn't sleep.

Eventually (we're talking months), I just stopped noticing it. It still seems to happen if I pay attention, but it doesn't really bother me anymore.
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:28 am

i'm losing it tonight. I could take my stupid fasciculations now just on their own but then today for no reason i got very stomach sick, pain and nausea and that wore me down enough i guess or i dont know,i went out to buy some food, came back,ate it and THEN i started getting the worst headache and nausea again and both these things on their own are enough to really get my mental health down normally but couple both and with that thing now i started freaking out because i read last week some specific fasciculation in the face can be related to brain tumors and what not and like right now ive rationalized all this to myself and i'm not even freaked about it but all this shit has triggered an anxiety attack i cant control right now and i just feel liked death and i guess im gonna have to go see a doctor with this who will jut be like it's nothing AND..you should probably take these goddam meds i keep prescribing you. And if you want to know the reason i don't take meds, well i mean i tried before, but they usually cause me symptoms like nausea and others which actually just make me way more depressed and anxious. So basically taking meds in the long run may help my hypochondria but my hypochondria tells me i shoudlnt take meds. Its fucked up but so is my life and i dont know why im so scared of death because it would all be such a huge relief. Probably the whole problem is just my stupid life in which nothing ever happens to distract me from myself and all that's going on in my mind and body.
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:29 am

this is a long dumb paragraph lacking in punctuation but i guess thats how i know im freaking out
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Postby BannedByAddisonAMA » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:13 am

gotta get some shit on my tongue biopsied before I lose this job
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Postby port » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:31 am

My blood pressure is high and I'm ignoring it.
I suddenly have horrible heartburn/acid reflux.
About a week ago I noticed this large, egg sized lump under the skin on my side. I have no idea what it is.

It's a pain in the ass to make a doctor's appointment when you don't have a regular doctor unless you want to go to an urgent care clinic.
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Postby mead » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:39 am

my eyes look blue today

I think i'm turned into a PS4
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Postby Du Rocher » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:08 pm

I was a serious hypochondriac until I got cancer. I'm sorry, this is a terrible thing to share with hypochondriacs. But cancer cured my hypochondria.
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Postby John Dark » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:21 pm

I've had persistent lightheadedness with no other symptoms for five days straight so I'm going to the doc on Monday morning and it's probably going to be nothing and I'll feel really silly
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Du Rocher wrote:I was a serious hypochondriac until I got cancer. I'm sorry, this is a terrible thing to share with hypochondriacs. But cancer cured my hypochondria.



Trust me i very often have hyper aware moments when im thinking being a hypochondriac is an insult to anyone who's actually really sick and possibly dying and that i could use getting slapped around by a few terminal phase patients or something.
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:02 pm

Mind you i blame all those sick dying people for making me into a hypochondriac. If they didn't exist, if they didnt' remind me of all that can kill you, i wouldn't be there thinking i'm dying all the time. So yeah it's their fault.
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:09 pm

Im glad i'm at least aware of it enough that i very seldom go to the doctor. Like something has to have persisted for a long time for me to seek a medical opinion on it and i always try to not present it like some obnoxious hypochondriac freak might (i mean i actually am one of those but i try to keep it all inside, like i've thought about making this thread for two years but was too self conscious about it until now).

For example i got this bump on my leg last year (still there), i guess it's some water cyst or whatever, nothing dangerous, but i didn't know that at first. So i freaked for a bit about it. Eventually decided to go see the doctor EXCEPT, i made sure i had some other reasons to see him. So i went there and talked about the other stuff, like getting a prescription for anti-depressants (which i've not taken because i dont want to start taking them while i'm alone) and was like "oh yeah and also i have a bump on my leg...." not betraying that this was the number one reason i was there. He looked at it, touched it, said yeah these things happen, nothing to worry about.

Because i feel if i let my doctor KNOW im hypochondriac then he's not gonna take me seriously whenever i go see him with a concern. Or hes at least gonna internally roll his eyes and be like "here we go again..."
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Postby Du Rocher » Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:32 pm

Oh yeah, I was a very careful hypochondriac too. Not being believed by a doctor is scary. I would basically make a list of all my problems and prioritize the ones to bring up on a given visit to the doc. It's funny because I went to my doctor for help with extreme insomnia and then just offhand pointed out this lump I'd had for a while which led to it getting checked out. One good thing about having had a serious illness is that now I always get a full body pat-down and extra special attention in general, which has definitely helped my health anxiety.
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:57 pm

Yeah.... this is definitely what id need. Thought about that a lot before. Mind you that's the one thing with getting older, more risk to get stuff but also doctors tend to take things more seriously because your odds of getting something serious increases. Eventually ill get mandatory prostate checks and stuff. I could probably also use a colonoscopy every few years what with all my digestive issues....not beause im more at risk necessarily, just because it's always such a concern to me

One good thing being hypochondriac i find is before i go to the doctor for anything ive basically looked up everything it could potentially be so when a doctor asks questions i know why he's asking them and that he's screening me for all that stuff. It's kinda reassuring, like ok, i can see he knows his business and is considering all possibilities. I also never think oh i know better than him. That's the worst. I mean sure there are incompetent or careless doctors but it's not the majority and i recognize doctors have the practical experience which counts for so much. I wouldn't second guess a doctor unless i very seriously felt he's maybe overlooking something,. that has yet to happen.
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Postby k_uger » Sat Apr 07, 2018 8:58 pm

I had the whole fasciculations scare / obsession for quite some time

It sucked.. made my life hell for a while there
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Postby Milk » Sat Apr 07, 2018 9:15 pm

See it's a bit why i made this thread cause i figured some of us might have had similar things and it turned out to be nothing which makes it reassuring.

Today its a lot better, barely every hour now. yesterday it was going nuts for a while, every 2 minutes or so most of the day. Mind you it did that earlier this week and there was last sunday when i didnt get it at all so...

It's just too bad i still have an awful headache and nausea. I think i ate bad or borderline bad meat two days ago...it was sure bad today and i remembered i thought it tasted odd two days ago... that probably in good part explains the nausea, headache and diarrhea. Of course the fasciculation predates all this. I hope it keeps improving and eventually goes away so i can stop thinking about it.

Thing is these things are insidious, at some point you think well alright, ive rationalized it, it's fine, i'm not gonna think about it, go about my business, im fine. But as long as it's there no matter what there's a part of my brain that goes why is this happening? It was the same with the lump on my leg before i had it checked. It didnt hurt, i'd read about things like that online, the consensus seemed to be if it doesnt hurt and its not hard it's probably nothing. But even though i wasnt thinking about it most of the day, it still lingered at the back of my head and did its work on my nervous system. So in the end i decided to go see a doctor about it to clear that up. Which i will with this fasciculation thing if it lasts say another week.
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Postby Milk » Tue May 01, 2018 11:30 pm

I've had pressure in my ears for like 8 hours. It happened, or at least i noticed it, after listening to some music on headphones for like 40 minutes i thought well i suppose maybe i put it a tiny bit too loud though it didnt feel that way, i mean i don't blast shit loud enough to hurt my ears and anyway it felt more like fullness in the ear.

Anyway, it didn't go away and it doesnt really feel like my hearing is affected so much as i just feel like there's pressure and if i go in a silent room there's a hiss. It's not like that feeling when you go to a loud 2 hours show and it's obvious you don't hear as well and there's that ringing. I tried to do all the things to get your ears to pop but nothing. I fucking hope it's gone by tomorrow. Like realistically it probably can't be anything bad but it's one of those things that i can't help but focus on all the time and i'm starting to make myself anxious about it and i don't want to like in a couple of days have to head to my doctor trying to appear like i'm not going crazy over this.
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Postby Milk » Tue May 01, 2018 11:30 pm

Oh and update on the fasciculations, i keep having them in the same spot of my nose now when i yawn or sneeze but only right after and then it stops after like 5 seconds. I've had some on the rest of the body since though. At least once a day. Pretty much all over. One day it was shoulder blade. Yesterday it was a really big one on the leg. When they travel around like this though it's when it's more likely than not Benign fasciculation syndrome so i'm not really worried about it anymore. At least not until i get one again int he same spot for like two weeks.
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Postby Milk » Tue May 01, 2018 11:31 pm

This is pretty much Milk's insanity thread i realise.
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