Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:51 am

i am walking home from my job at tim hortons during a beautiful spring weekend in toronto when a disgruntled customer hiding in a tree drops a large sack of human feces directly onto my testicles, taking me out instantaneously
Can't believe I slept on Pete Holmes for so long!
User avatar
Beautiful Jugdish
 
Posts: 5817
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:01 pm

Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:52 am

i am at home in bed at 3am when a turd falls from the ceiling, colliding directly with my balls and ending my life
Can't believe I slept on Pete Holmes for so long!
User avatar
Beautiful Jugdish
 
Posts: 5817
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:01 pm

Postby identikit » Thu May 17, 2018 10:53 am

starting to wonder how your testicles are attached to your body. in what angle
User avatar
identikit
 
Posts: 3762
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:38 pm

Postby cooly » Thu May 17, 2018 10:54 am

if it's legal to throw shit on someone (without consent) in your country i suggest contacting your policy makers and starting a petition.
can wrote:old lady [whispering]
User avatar
cooly
 
Posts: 7194
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:52 am

Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:56 am

i am posting up against a talented point guard demonstrating his deft dribbling skills when to my shock and horror i realize he is actually dribbling a huge circular turd which he throws full force at my nutsack and penis, destroying my nether regions and causing me to bleed out
Can't believe I slept on Pete Holmes for so long!
User avatar
Beautiful Jugdish
 
Posts: 5817
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:01 pm

Postby identikit » Thu May 17, 2018 10:56 am

well legal, I don't think it is done regularly. that was a neo nazi parade, throwing stuff at protests will only get you into trouble if it's toxic or hard, basically.

so you can throw balloon bombs with pig urine or cow shit, and that will cost you, but throwing an empty plastic bottle or a tiny stone and you are done.
User avatar
identikit
 
Posts: 3762
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:38 pm

Postby Riverchrist » Thu May 17, 2018 11:30 am

Jeremy wrote:Much as I consider myself to be a Coffee Time™ brand ambassador, I have to admit both that this probably happens more often in Coffee Time™ locations and that when it does it doesn't even make the news.


You must keep in mind that the loose, tarry stools of Coffee Time™ patrons severely reduces their THAC0.
User avatar
Riverchrist
 
Posts: 7565
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:07 pm

Postby Milk » Thu May 17, 2018 1:28 pm

there's a coffee shop chain in quebec called Cafe Depot and because it was always well situated for when we needed a bathroom, an ex called it Caca Depot. It's funnier if you know depot in french can be depositing or a deposit.


Actually "allez faire un depot" (go make a deposit) is an expression for going to have a shit. Now that i think of it i might have heard that one in english too.
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 9696
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Postby Quigley » Thu May 17, 2018 2:43 pm

Considering the response by Timmy's and its franchisees to the recent minimum wage increase, I'd be shocked if the employee got anything beyond yelled at for taking a five minute break to clean the shit off of themselves.
User avatar
Quigley
 
Posts: 2332
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2014 12:04 am
Location: Bytown

Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 2:57 pm

that feeling when you get shit thrown at you
Image

they didn't let her use the bathroom because of past behavior, next time they are going to let her use it because of past behavior
make it mild
User avatar
Brouhaha
 
Posts: 9313
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:07 am
Location: Location Location

Postby ZONKER » Thu May 17, 2018 3:02 pm

Milk wrote:
Brouhaha wrote:maybe that lady was coming in off the streets cause she really needed to use the bathroom and they were telling her it's for customers only, would explain how quickly she did the deed



this is my first thought and i think there's probably no way this isnt what it is and you fucking know what? Good on her. Because fuck this. Anyone who's had bowel issues knows how that is. I remember a case last year of this little girl who has like crohns or something and she came into this place and explained why she needed the bathroom and they wouldnt let her use it and she shat on the floor too. And sure you might think well she could have bought something but it's possible she had no cards or money on her. Like what is the % of people that are coming in that REALLY want to just shoot up somewhere or intentionally fuck up your bathroom? less than 1% probably. So fuck this dumb policy.


Just a quick aside, oftentimes the homeless guy most people think is going to use drugs in the bathroom really does have to just use the bathroom - people don’t realize that if you don’t have a home you literally have nowhere to shit. Drug users often have their spots completely away from people to use their drugs as they know they’re gonna be profiled the moment they walk into a business.

And I get that employees/customers don’t wanna have to deal with someone od’ing in their facilities, which is why safe use facilities are totally necessary both as a QOL and safety issue.

I know I’m rambling, sorry, bring on the poop jokes!
Image Image Image Image Image
kid8 wrote:mail me all of your drugs and give me your dick and soul.
User avatar
ZONKER
 
Posts: 8516
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:03 pm
Location: DADDY, I CANT FIND JESUS!

Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 3:08 pm

it's not so much drugs as it is just not wanting homeless people in there with a lot of places. they think they are going to bathe themselves over the sink or smell up the place or get people sick or some shit.

never been to Canada but I'm gathering this is just some mainly coffee and donut place and they should be pretty chill about their bathrooms
make it mild
User avatar
Brouhaha
 
Posts: 9313
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:07 am
Location: Location Location

Postby ahungbunny » Thu May 17, 2018 3:56 pm

colorless green ideas shit furiously
User avatar
ahungbunny
 
Posts: 4642
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:39 pm

Postby gold and glass » Thu May 17, 2018 3:57 pm

this is ... just what tim horton's is like
fuck you and your corporation
User avatar
gold and glass
ok
 
Posts: 21465
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:14 pm
Location: york, pa

Postby werd » Thu May 17, 2018 4:19 pm

I shit in time horntons multiple times a year ama
night moves wrote:I will not be made fun of by someone who watches animes


hologram wrote:basically burn down your local whole foods and punch a cop because the galaxy don't give a fuck
User avatar
werd
cooler than laserblast
 
Posts: 5612
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 5:51 am
Location: idiot piss man

Postby Milk » Thu May 17, 2018 8:13 pm

so do i but i have to buy something first.


Like of course the moment you go outside of any city they don't give a fuck. You can just walk in and just use the bathroom and leave. It's only in cities that they have to press a little button for you.
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 9696
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 8:46 pm

Image
make it mild
User avatar
Brouhaha
 
Posts: 9313
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:07 am
Location: Location Location

Postby crackers » Thu May 17, 2018 9:11 pm

Milk wrote:yeah i almost posted about something similar but not quite as uh..bad... a lot of places in Europe they have street restrooms. It's basically a plastic chemical restroom with a locked door that yes ok, you HAVE to pay money to get in but i don't think it's more than quarters and then you do your thing and once done exit and it locks itself again and then there's a whole self cleaning system that cleans the whole thing after every "customer".

Though there WAS a story like a couple of years ago when someone was stuck in it as it self cleaned but it just shoots non toxic or dangerous cleaning products all over the inside so aside from making you all wet and soapy, it can't injure or kill anyone. Would love to have this in MTL tbh. Though ever since i figured out i couldn't handle dairy anymore ive had significantly less urgent shits. but still can happen.


http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/keeping-it-clean-how-those-self-cleaning-toilets-wor

Walked past the one at Papineau the other night, took me a few seconds to figure out what it was (it was dark out!)
User avatar
crackers
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:43 am

Postby Autarch » Tue May 22, 2018 8:23 pm

identikit wrote:
Brouhaha wrote:What if this becomes the new IG trend

#ThePoopChallenge

you rang? I'm always up for #poopchallenge, Autarch, mate, you in?

what is wrong with me, I am loving this video.


whoa just saw the video. i'm in.
Sent from my Lenovo
User avatar
Autarch
 
Posts: 4127
Joined: Sat Dec 17, 2016 12:13 am
Location: In these times of economy

Postby Milk » Wed May 23, 2018 12:56 am

crackers wrote:
Milk wrote:yeah i almost posted about something similar but not quite as uh..bad... a lot of places in Europe they have street restrooms. It's basically a plastic chemical restroom with a locked door that yes ok, you HAVE to pay money to get in but i don't think it's more than quarters and then you do your thing and once done exit and it locks itself again and then there's a whole self cleaning system that cleans the whole thing after every "customer".

Though there WAS a story like a couple of years ago when someone was stuck in it as it self cleaned but it just shoots non toxic or dangerous cleaning products all over the inside so aside from making you all wet and soapy, it can't injure or kill anyone. Would love to have this in MTL tbh. Though ever since i figured out i couldn't handle dairy anymore ive had significantly less urgent shits. but still can happen.


http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/keeping-it-clean-how-those-self-cleaning-toilets-wor

Walked past the one at Papineau the other night, took me a few seconds to figure out what it was (it was dark out!)



!!!! big news. Hopefully they start having them elsewhere around the cit
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 9696
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Previous

Return to Don't. Let. Go. You’ve got the music in you.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: a new dad for all, Autarch, baleen, banquo, Bartatua, beefbroth inthe shitpipes, Birds vs Worms, blab, blendercore, brittle, Brunch Buttsteak, camping, Celiac Cruz, Christmas Ape, Classic Water, Clive, Cronos, deebster, Dr. Norm Thagard, draw, Flossed Out, Franco, freezinseason, fuckles, gauchebag, glock mane, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], gordie blue eyes, grace cathedral park, hatertime, hey nathan, hired goon, hyperbole man, iambic, Infinity Lunker, Jabberwocky, Jake SPEED, jalapeño ranch, Jerry Lundegaard, Jimmy, Jouster, KALM, kayke, Kevin McCallister, kid8, kirito, laserblast, marble, mcwop23, mego, MikeyJ, Mine Is Clouds, mini, morris buttermaker, Mr Squishy, nite69, Nucky, OGRE, Paul, potentialgetawaydriver, Render, ripersnifle, scarsdalevibe, seafoam, Self Destructive Zone, Shalabi, shankly, speakers, surly, This Guy, trigross, truncated, tyler_c, wakeman, wario lopez, worrywort