Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At

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Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:51 am

i am walking home from my job at tim hortons during a beautiful spring weekend in toronto when a disgruntled customer hiding in a tree drops a large sack of human feces directly onto my testicles, taking me out instantaneously
I've hit rock bottom!
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Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:52 am

i am at home in bed at 3am when a turd falls from the ceiling, colliding directly with my balls and ending my life
I've hit rock bottom!
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Postby identikit » Thu May 17, 2018 10:53 am

starting to wonder how your testicles are attached to your body. in what angle
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Postby cooly » Thu May 17, 2018 10:54 am

if it's legal to throw shit on someone (without consent) in your country i suggest contacting your policy makers and starting a petition.
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Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Thu May 17, 2018 10:56 am

i am posting up against a talented point guard demonstrating his deft dribbling skills when to my shock and horror i realize he is actually dribbling a huge circular turd which he throws full force at my nutsack and penis, destroying my nether regions and causing me to bleed out
I've hit rock bottom!
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Postby identikit » Thu May 17, 2018 10:56 am

well legal, I don't think it is done regularly. that was a neo nazi parade, throwing stuff at protests will only get you into trouble if it's toxic or hard, basically.

so you can throw balloon bombs with pig urine or cow shit, and that will cost you, but throwing an empty plastic bottle or a tiny stone and you are done.
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Postby Riverchrist » Thu May 17, 2018 11:30 am

Jeremy wrote:Much as I consider myself to be a Coffee Time™ brand ambassador, I have to admit both that this probably happens more often in Coffee Time™ locations and that when it does it doesn't even make the news.


You must keep in mind that the loose, tarry stools of Coffee Time™ patrons severely reduces their THAC0.
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Postby Milk » Thu May 17, 2018 1:28 pm

there's a coffee shop chain in quebec called Cafe Depot and because it was always well situated for when we needed a bathroom, an ex called it Caca Depot. It's funnier if you know depot in french can be depositing or a deposit.


Actually "allez faire un depot" (go make a deposit) is an expression for going to have a shit. Now that i think of it i might have heard that one in english too.
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Postby Quigley » Thu May 17, 2018 2:43 pm

Considering the response by Timmy's and its franchisees to the recent minimum wage increase, I'd be shocked if the employee got anything beyond yelled at for taking a five minute break to clean the shit off of themselves.
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Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 2:57 pm

that feeling when you get shit thrown at you
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they didn't let her use the bathroom because of past behavior, next time they are going to let her use it because of past behavior
make it mild
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Postby ZONKER » Thu May 17, 2018 3:02 pm

Milk wrote:
Brouhaha wrote:maybe that lady was coming in off the streets cause she really needed to use the bathroom and they were telling her it's for customers only, would explain how quickly she did the deed



this is my first thought and i think there's probably no way this isnt what it is and you fucking know what? Good on her. Because fuck this. Anyone who's had bowel issues knows how that is. I remember a case last year of this little girl who has like crohns or something and she came into this place and explained why she needed the bathroom and they wouldnt let her use it and she shat on the floor too. And sure you might think well she could have bought something but it's possible she had no cards or money on her. Like what is the % of people that are coming in that REALLY want to just shoot up somewhere or intentionally fuck up your bathroom? less than 1% probably. So fuck this dumb policy.


Just a quick aside, oftentimes the homeless guy most people think is going to use drugs in the bathroom really does have to just use the bathroom - people don’t realize that if you don’t have a home you literally have nowhere to shit. Drug users often have their spots completely away from people to use their drugs as they know they’re gonna be profiled the moment they walk into a business.

And I get that employees/customers don’t wanna have to deal with someone od’ing in their facilities, which is why safe use facilities are totally necessary both as a QOL and safety issue.

I know I’m rambling, sorry, bring on the poop jokes!
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Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 3:08 pm

it's not so much drugs as it is just not wanting homeless people in there with a lot of places. they think they are going to bathe themselves over the sink or smell up the place or get people sick or some shit.

never been to Canada but I'm gathering this is just some mainly coffee and donut place and they should be pretty chill about their bathrooms
make it mild
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Postby ahungbunny » Thu May 17, 2018 3:56 pm

colorless green ideas shit furiously
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Postby gold and glass » Thu May 17, 2018 3:57 pm

this is ... just what tim horton's is like
fuck you and your corporation
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Postby werd » Thu May 17, 2018 4:19 pm

I shit in time horntons multiple times a year ama
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Postby Milk » Thu May 17, 2018 8:13 pm

so do i but i have to buy something first.


Like of course the moment you go outside of any city they don't give a fuck. You can just walk in and just use the bathroom and leave. It's only in cities that they have to press a little button for you.
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Postby Brouhaha » Thu May 17, 2018 8:46 pm

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make it mild
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Postby crackers » Thu May 17, 2018 9:11 pm

Milk wrote:yeah i almost posted about something similar but not quite as uh..bad... a lot of places in Europe they have street restrooms. It's basically a plastic chemical restroom with a locked door that yes ok, you HAVE to pay money to get in but i don't think it's more than quarters and then you do your thing and once done exit and it locks itself again and then there's a whole self cleaning system that cleans the whole thing after every "customer".

Though there WAS a story like a couple of years ago when someone was stuck in it as it self cleaned but it just shoots non toxic or dangerous cleaning products all over the inside so aside from making you all wet and soapy, it can't injure or kill anyone. Would love to have this in MTL tbh. Though ever since i figured out i couldn't handle dairy anymore ive had significantly less urgent shits. but still can happen.


http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/keeping-it-clean-how-those-self-cleaning-toilets-wor

Walked past the one at Papineau the other night, took me a few seconds to figure out what it was (it was dark out!)
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Postby Autarch » Tue May 22, 2018 8:23 pm

identikit wrote:
Brouhaha wrote:What if this becomes the new IG trend

#ThePoopChallenge

you rang? I'm always up for #poopchallenge, Autarch, mate, you in?

what is wrong with me, I am loving this video.


whoa just saw the video. i'm in.
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Postby Milk » Wed May 23, 2018 12:56 am

crackers wrote:
Milk wrote:yeah i almost posted about something similar but not quite as uh..bad... a lot of places in Europe they have street restrooms. It's basically a plastic chemical restroom with a locked door that yes ok, you HAVE to pay money to get in but i don't think it's more than quarters and then you do your thing and once done exit and it locks itself again and then there's a whole self cleaning system that cleans the whole thing after every "customer".

Though there WAS a story like a couple of years ago when someone was stuck in it as it self cleaned but it just shoots non toxic or dangerous cleaning products all over the inside so aside from making you all wet and soapy, it can't injure or kill anyone. Would love to have this in MTL tbh. Though ever since i figured out i couldn't handle dairy anymore ive had significantly less urgent shits. but still can happen.


http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/keeping-it-clean-how-those-self-cleaning-toilets-wor

Walked past the one at Papineau the other night, took me a few seconds to figure out what it was (it was dark out!)



!!!! big news. Hopefully they start having them elsewhere around the cit
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Postby Eyeball Kid » Tue May 29, 2018 12:04 pm

At a 7-Eleven yesterday, I crossed paths with a man quietly talking to himself, followed shortly by the store manager, who started to TEAR INTO the guy for having just peed all over the restroom floor. As I eventually learned, he was suspected of having done it a number of times in the past, but that day was the first occasion where the manager checked the restroom immediately after the fellow left it, and saw enough to confirm her suspicions about him. At first. the guy denied it, but then, in the voice of a child who knows they did something wrong and are hoping to mitigate the punishment, quickly said he didn't mean to. The manager told him if he ever came back to the store, she'd call the police.

I'm not without empathy here. The man looked to be homeless and very possibly suffered from some mental illness, but you can't keep letting in someone who makes a habit of pissing everywhere but the toilet. Anyway, seeing that exchange made me think of this thread, which in turn made me think that user Milk would say the guy should come back and throw a Big Gulp of piss in the manager's face.
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Postby truncated » Tue May 29, 2018 12:33 pm

Image
Buzz feed presedent look so disapoint at this question. He just sigh so loud.
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Postby John Dark » Tue May 29, 2018 6:24 pm

gold and glass wrote:this is ... just what tim horton's is like


Yeah I went to my first TIm Horton's a couple of days ago and the coffee was garbage.

Also, I didn't realize Canadians don't know the term "half & half." Wtf canucks!?
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Postby Eyeball Kid » Tue May 29, 2018 6:30 pm

Relevant to thread:



Something from it:

Kelly went on to assail rapper Common for participating in the Starbucks diversity training.

According to Kelly, Common is not qualified for the job because he wrote controversial lyrics about LGBT people and women years before transforming himself into a social justice activist.


That's...actually a fair point!
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Postby clouds » Tue May 29, 2018 7:09 pm

that's not reslly a fair point at all though
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Postby Eyeball Kid » Tue May 29, 2018 7:15 pm

Common may well have changed for the better in recent years—I hope he has!—but I haven't kept up, so when I see his name attached to stuff like this, my mind immediately defaults to the times he'd drop lines like "in a circle of faggots, your name is mentioned".

Anyway, Megyn Kelly sucks and tough shit for her if she doesn't like homeless people in the vicinity of her vanilla latte.
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Postby speakers » Tue May 29, 2018 10:18 pm

John Dark wrote:
gold and glass wrote:this is ... just what tim horton's is like


Yeah I went to my first TIm Horton's a couple of days ago and the coffee was garbage.

Also, I didn't realize Canadians don't know the term "half & half." Wtf canucks!?


it’s a common term in Canada
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Postby incoherent grunting » Tue May 29, 2018 10:42 pm

half coffee and half milk - yeah, we all know it
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