random posts that you still remember

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby light rail coyote » Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:59 pm

I was showering this morning and worked myself into a laughing fit thinking about Jeremy posting "imagine going to all of that trouble to refine a bunch of sugar and it ends up going in newt gingrich"
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Postby Kevin McCallister » Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:06 am

Man I was in hysterics a minute ago thinking about "I just got a new dad after graduation."
kranky wrote:the monster mash isn't actually halloween specific and is just a monster party that could happen at any time.
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Postby Classic Dog Avatar » Fri Apr 27, 2018 7:24 am

Yeah I look like an idiot here laughing at the sports clips story

Luckily it's just me and one teenager here
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Postby important dentist » Tue May 01, 2018 7:12 pm

loadletter wrote:there was a long time where i was convinced i had seen a controversial xmas episode of family matters where urkel was trying to invent a snow machine, but his design required a real gun and the episode was a morality play about whether it was ok for urkel to buy a dangerous weapon just so he could make a white christmas for everyone


reminded when this video showed up in the youtube sidebar and i thought i had found this mythical episode

(i am only marginally less unsure about whether this is real)
"My foremost duty is to the board," Important Dentist countered. "I
cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby dcm » Wed May 02, 2018 3:35 am

black mamba wrote:
sonicgabe wrote:without the long back-story, this girl is evil (clockout can attest to this) . hadn't run into her in well over a year. maybe a month or so ago, my girlfriend and i see her at a restaurant with some dude that looks like he could be her dad, which was pretty funny and sad (she's always had daddy issues, so this wasn't a surprise).

yesterday, i'm getting a hair cut and the lady who cuts my hair (who owns the place and is also a friend) says that my ex came in to get her hair done and asked about me. hair cutting lady also says that the ex is now completely insane, so i ask how. in a nut-shell, this is a run down of what she tells me:

- ex has lost weight, which she's proud of but she did it on an all alcohol (and probably cocaine) diet. hair cutting lady tells me that in fact the ex looks like shit.
- ex says she went sober for a while, but said it was over rated.
- ex proudly stated that she is pretty much just fucking anyone who will buy her food/drinks/pay her cell phone bill or whatever else she needs.

kinda sad, but karma's a bitch. she's pretty much undateable at this point. she tried to pick up a friend of a friend over a year ago and got laughed at to her face by the dude. he told her something like "i know all about you". everyone knows how fucked up she is, so she is stuck picking up 40 to 50 year old drunk dudes with a little extra cash.

all in all, the whole thing put a smile on my face. when i told my girlfriend about the ex's whoring ways, she almost fell over laughing.


four years later...

pablito wrote: ha ha bitch. im still with her, buying her coke and being much, much older than her. you're gone and i'm not. i've got your ex and your forum. check. mate.


Pablito is a post artist. Fresh out of the oven from "best books about aging":

pablito wrote:A few decades ago I contributed to an anthology called What To Expect When You're Expectorating: Advice For Septuagenarians, From Septuagenarians-At-Heart. It was a guide to aging from some of us who've been there and done that.
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Postby death is my amigo » Wed May 02, 2018 4:06 am

The Dirty Turtle wrote:the huffington post article on this video talked about how kangaroos are real dangerous and if you are attacked you should get in a sideways ball and protect yr head and neck but what this video suggests is that instead you should square up, use your reach as an advantage and punch the kangaroo directly in the face
REAL BASED SLOB wrote:after the javy home run WGN came back with an extended fan cam sequence soundtracked by meat puppets - up on the sun and i've just been doing bong rips and jamming meat puppets since
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Postby delgriffith » Thu May 03, 2018 8:25 pm

Grendel wrote:I feel bad for Bam; I know what it's like to have the blues...
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Postby mcwop23 » Thu May 03, 2018 8:40 pm

ScaredGopher wrote:Half the threes Klay makes feel like he was drawing with sticks in the dirt and someone yelled "think fast!" and he looked up, grabbed the pass, effortlessly tosses the sphere into the hole, then went back to fucking with ants or whatever.
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wendy wrote:
colin meloy doesn't need to die
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Postby feral » Thu May 03, 2018 8:49 pm

sleigh wrote:
The Dirty Turtle wrote:the huffington post article on this video talked about how kangaroos are real dangerous and if you are attacked you should get in a sideways ball and protect yr head and neck but what this video suggests is that instead you should square up, use your reach as an advantage and punch the kangaroo directly in the face


This is the one
philosophy isny jut navel gazing about "life"
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Postby cooly » Thu May 03, 2018 9:00 pm

important dentist wrote:
OKterrific wrote:Aha that's like a good natured version of what happened in the hacked Myspaces thread

is this a relic from previous mks or is it a recent thread because this is a thread i want to read immediately

i don't remember the details well, but i doubt this thread aged well. lots of it was people getting onto like ~16 year old girls aims account and telling their friends they were pregnant / talking about sex.
can wrote:old lady [whispering]
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Postby cooly » Thu May 03, 2018 9:03 pm

there was a much celebrated aim exchange like

boarder says something about the police academy movies
16 year old girl: whats police academy
boarder: UM HELLO?!
can wrote:old lady [whispering]
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Postby Sweet Gregory Pectin » Thu May 03, 2018 9:43 pm

MzHotPrep: hi
TwolvesMN21: Hey
TwolvesMN21: So u r throwing a party?
MzHotPrep: hell yea
MzHotPrep: u comin
TwolvesMN21: When?
MzHotPrep: uh
MzHotPrep: a week from saturday
TwolvesMN21: So in December?
MzHotPrep: yea
MzHotPrep: that cool?
MzHotPrep: i mean it aint set in stone
TwolvesMN21: Yeah
TwolvesMN21: That's cool
TwolvesMN21: Tell me the day b4 your party
MzHotPrep: it's a costume party, btw
TwolvesMN21: Haha, in December
MzHotPrep: yeah u gotta dress up like ur fave character from the Police Academy movies
TwolvesMN21: Yeah, I don't think I can come now
TwolvesMN21: R u serious?
MzHotPrep: yes
MzHotPrep: r u
TwolvesMN21: Yes
TwolvesMN21: I'm not really digging the costume part
MzHotPrep: its okay u can be something easy like Tackleberry
TwolvesMN21: What?
TwolvesMN21: I have never seen those kind of movies
MzHotPrep: k what movies u like
TwolvesMN21: Action & Comdey
MzHotPrep: UM HELLO
MzHotPrep: whats ur favorite movie
TwolvesMN21: The Fast and the Furious
MzHotPrep: alright so u can come as The Rock
TwolvesMN21: What!?
TwolvesMN21: He is not in that movie
MzHotPrep: no The Rock, like the wrestler
TwolvesMN21: Yeah, I know
TwolvesMN21: U like wrestling?
MzHotPrep: yeah u?
TwolvesMN21: Yeah
TwolvesMN21: Did u watch it 2night?
MzHotPrep: nah i missed it
MzHotPrep: u dont by any chance read comics and collect Simpsons figurines do you?
TwolvesMN21: No
TwolvesMN21: U?
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Postby mcwop23 » Thu May 03, 2018 10:05 pm

fucking tackleberry
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Postby mcwop23 » Thu May 03, 2018 10:05 pm

one day i hope SVC opens up the archives for a grand exploration of the board
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Postby cooly » Thu May 03, 2018 10:12 pm

i forgot the action & comedy line. it really makes that exchange
can wrote:old lady [whispering]
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Postby Celiac Cruz » Thu May 03, 2018 10:45 pm

delgriffith wrote:In the summer of 2010 I lived in a shitbox hellhole apartment in Alphabet City and my best friend lived in the room next to mine. He split his share of the rent in half by letting his friend from high school, Hunter, sleep on the floor in the corner of the room. He didn't have a mattress, just a rug and a sheet.

I may have posted about this before but Hunter's daily routine in the summer of 2010 was to wake up and walk to the post office on 3rd & C, where he would pick up mail from a PO box and forward it to someone in Australia. The person in Australia had found Hunter through Craigslist and assured him that he would be paid for his mail forwarding services at the end of each month. It took until August for Hunter to realize he was being scammed.

After he was done forwarding mail, he would walk to the Tompkins Square Park branch of the New York Public Library, check out a novel, and sit in Tompkins Square Park reading it. If he got too hot, he would walk to a coffee place and get an iced coffee. He wouldn't come back to the apartment until he was done reading whatever novel he'd chosen that day.

He read a book a day, seemingly owned 3 identical t-shirts and one pair of shorts, and ate only hot dogs. One time I came back to the apartment after work on a 95 degree day and found him sitting shirtless on the leather couch with two 40's - one in each hand - staring at the television static (we didn't have cable, the TV was just for playing Playstation 2 games on). I asked him what he was doing and he said "I'm trying to finish these before they get hot."

Hunter is the most well-read person I've ever met, but I also saw him set fire to some frozen hot dogs on the stove and then throw up after eating them. He left New York in the middle of the night after realizing he wasn't going to be paid by the Craigslist person, without telling anyone and without paying his share of the rent. He left his library card on the kitchen counter, though.


i like this one bc i weirdly envy Hunter I think
delgriffith wrote:Images aren't showing up, Celiac Cruz :( Looks like they're on a Dropbox and need to be hosted somewhere else (like imgur?)
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Postby futurist » Thu May 03, 2018 10:55 pm

Hunter sounds rad
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Postby futurist » Thu May 03, 2018 10:55 pm

Hunter sounds rad

edit: rad enough for two posts
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Postby dusky » Thu May 03, 2018 10:57 pm

i'm going to strive to be more like hunter
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Postby dusky » Thu May 03, 2018 10:58 pm

shit that RIXX post is fuckin me up
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Postby fuckles » Fri May 04, 2018 12:19 pm

this is new but

BannedByAddisonAMA wrote:Tired: an animated Fleshlight replicant of your favorite celeb
Wired: a Gundam with rude titties that electrocutes your dick
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby hoopdog » Fri May 04, 2018 2:10 pm

that hunter post was a direct shot of nostalgia into my brain
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Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Fri May 04, 2018 2:20 pm

delgriffith wrote:
Grendel wrote:I feel bad for Bam; I know what it's like to have the blues...

yeah this is one of the greatest
hello
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Postby chairkicker » Fri May 04, 2018 2:55 pm

Beautiful Jugdish wrote:
delgriffith wrote:
Grendel wrote:I feel bad for Bam; I know what it's like to have the blues...

yeah this is one of the greatest

i need context
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Postby Beautiful Jugdish » Fri May 04, 2018 3:02 pm

hello
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Postby chairkicker » Fri May 04, 2018 3:04 pm

oh, right
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Postby Jeremy » Fri May 04, 2018 8:27 pm

universe wrote:My college roommate asked me what the deal with Scientology was, so we had a big discussion about Xenu and the bombs and everything. The next day he was walking downtown and got approached by a Scientologist who was working a booth trying to get people to take the e-meter tests, and he stopped and asked the guy "Is it really true that you guys believe the Earth was ruled by an intergalactic warlord who bombed volcanos with nuclear bombs and released evil spirits that make us unhappy?" and the Scientologist goes "Well, it's a little more complicated than that." And my friend goes "It's MORE complicated?!"
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Postby sconies » Sat May 05, 2018 8:16 pm

oh that's a good one.
yowsah.
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Postby miko mido » Sat May 05, 2018 9:51 pm

g_s posting "The Official Dark Souls Thread" in the okcupid thread after a particularly grim anecdote was shared shortly after the release of the original dark souls.
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Postby Jeremy » Mon May 07, 2018 12:00 pm

Kid8 on how to be an effective uncle:

kid8 wrote:Congratulations. The best part is being drunk at family gatherings and then hearing jokes on tv about drunk uncles at family gatherings.
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