random posts that you still remember

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby death is my amigo » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:10 pm

ueckerist wrote:
bingo wrote:the prospect of a new masaki batoh record is transporting me back to high school

god, me too

i remember washing joey baldasare's brother's jeep in exchange for him snagging us a couple cases of icehouse

then we'd steal the keys and pile in the jeep and head out to the amphitheater parking lot to grill some dogs and meet some girls from the next town over

we didn't even care that we couldn't afford tickets to the big masaki batoh show that night

we'd just hang out in the lot, howling along to all the hits as they rolled over the hill and through the thick summer air

were we ever so young?
so
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Postby mcwop23 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:32 pm

love ueck
Image
wendy wrote:
colin meloy doesn't need to die
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Postby Stuntman » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:18 am

Re: when someone tells you how many stitches

pablito wrote:you always just go "wow! oh geez!" no matter what number, but all the numbers sound the same for this. like if someone was like "i fucked up my thumb and it was 200 stitches!" id probably just assume that they do lots of small stitches sometimes and go "geez! hoo boy!"

its not a very good metric


Karl Hungus wrote:Is that... from a Jerry Seinfeld routine?


pablito wrote:I know your trying to troll but actually thanks, dude, Seinfeld is one of the greatest comedians ever. Numbers don't lie.


Karl Hungus wrote:I was not trolling, I was genuinely asking. Here in France most of our standupers (is that a word?) are plagiaziaring (is that a word?) Jerry Seinfeld. I love Jerry Seinfeld. He is hot. He is funny.

If it is not from Jerry Seinfeld, maybe you should consider a change of Korea. (<- I hope you enjoyed that pun)


delgriffith wrote: :)


Ankh wrote:i disagree with the OP


Ankh wrote:just wanted to register that


Ankh wrote:also, staples count for 3 stitches each


pablito wrote:
Karl Hungus wrote: I love Jerry Seinfeld. He is hot. He is funny.

This is all true and also he puts audience in


pablito wrote:Stitches.


Karl Hungus wrote:Did not get it, lol.


delgriffith wrote:When somebody tells me they had to get staples in their head, that's when I know they went and bonked their head, producing the classic symptoms of bonkus of the konkus.


nonchalant wrote:what if i told you i only had one stitch from a really bad papercut






pablito wrote:[At the comedy club]
JERRY:
When someone tells you how many stitches you always just go "wow! oh geez!" no matter what number, but all the numbers sound the same for this.

[AUDIENCE goes wild]

JERRY:
Like if someone was like "i fucked up my thumb and it was 200 stitches!" id probably just assume that they do lots of small stitches sometimes and go "geez! hoo boy!"

[At coffee shop]
GEORGE:
Is that... from a Jerry Seinfeld routine?

JERRY:
I know your trying to troll but actually thanks, dude, I am one of the greatest comedians ever. Numbers don't lie.

GEORGE:
I was not trolling, I was genuinely asking. Here in France most of our standupers (is that a word?) are plagiaziaring (is that a word?) Jerry Seinfeld. I love Jerry Seinfeld. He is hot. He is funny.

If it is not from Jerry Seinfeld, maybe you should consider a change of Korea. I hope you enjoyed that pun.

[KRAMER smiles at JERRY.]

ELAINE:
I disagree with OP.

Just wanted to register that.

Also, staples count for three stitches each.

JERRY:
George said I love Jerry Seinfeld. He is hot. He is funny. This is all true and I put audience in.

[JERRY sips coffee]

JERRY:
Stitches.

GEORGE:
DId not get it, lol.

KRAMER:
When somebody tells me they had to get staples in their head, that's when I know they went and bonked their head, producing the classic symptoms of bonkus of the konkus.

WAITRESS:
What if i told you i only had one stitch from a really bad papercut

[SCENE]
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Postby joe » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:22 am

jesus those posts have me in stitches
dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
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Postby joe » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:23 am

i'm not trolling: they used 200 stitches to put my funny bone back together
dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
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Postby delgriffith » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:32 am

pablito is the greatest
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Postby mites » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:11 am

Holy fuck the stitches thread
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Postby ueckerist » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:57 am

i came for the rare vanity search result

i stayed for the pablito
Hopefully, people will take a general look at this and see what's the lesson.
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Postby Kenny » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:00 am

Stuntman wrote:In that vein, around the time I first started posting and before I really knew who anyone was, boarder Penitent Man asked Petty how he didn't recognize a Simpsons reference (I don't remember what it was) when his avatar at the time was an image of Lisa Simpson. Petty's response was "Fuckin hate the Simpsons."

I don't know why but I think about that exchange all the time.

Woah is this my first post posted in this thread as a good post?? :)
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Postby alaska » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:39 pm

Pablito!!!!
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Postby alaska » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:46 pm

This one-two comes into my head all the time for some reason

This is after like 1000 memes making fun of Recordland with the caption "I have 1.5 million records in a warehouse in Calgary"

Recordland wrote:Image

I habslo 1.5 mallon racers is a welouf in casagry ...... oOooOOOo marglewarp


gold and glass wrote:RECORDLAND


http://forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=65579&start=1290
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Postby goofjan » Sat Jun 16, 2018 12:36 pm

I can't remember who said but in reference to the first Force Awakens teaser it was something like:

I waited on line to see The Phantom Menace teaser in front of Meet Joe Black, and I watched this one on my phone while taking a shit at work.
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby prexy » Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:35 pm

fresh wrote:in a thread titled something like "how many different drugs have you been on at the same time", someone earnestly responded, "three — marijuana, alcohol and tobacco." i think of that every time im high and drunk and want a cigarette.


still hilarious
“Good seltzer should hurt,” reads the back of Brooklyn Seltzer Boys’ t-shirts
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Postby pablito » Sat Jun 16, 2018 10:10 pm

prexy wrote:
fresh wrote:in a thread titled something like "how many different drugs have you been on at the same time", someone earnestly responded, "three — marijuana, alcohol and tobacco." i think of that every time im high and drunk and want a cigarette.


still hilarious

me n my roommates used to put catnip into spliffs and called it "the triple pronged attack on ur sanity"
rabbit wrote:Preacher drinks jack and eats pussy. That's Good stuff.
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Postby prexy » Sun Jun 17, 2018 5:36 pm

musette and drums wrote:
das ding wrote:i love homevideos. they not just look the girl from the girl next door, maybe they are from next door.


Prof. Horatio Hufnagel wrote:
Riverchrist wrote:If DFW was so smart then why did he dress like a cross between Axl Rose and Eeyore.


Jeremy wrote:
a-10 warthog champion wrote: for some reason my girlfriend's sister had like 200 t-shirts printed that had "so and so's birthday! 28 december 1997" printed for one of her earlier birthdays, and ten years later when they were in the philippines they saw a worker in a rice field wearing one of them


gold and glass wrote:
Jeremy wrote:I can't drink moderately on a daily basis but I also can't drink heavily on a daily basis. I do feel like God if I go like seven days without a beer but I feel like God's boss if I have a beer on that seventh day.


rex wrote:
kid8 wrote:sometimes i drink just to be hungover to jack off all day long. not today though. gonna go watch my nephew play soccer.


tgk wrote:
swamp thing wrote:
Cronos wrote:Wasn't there some Pizza place in LA or something where the guy spent thousands of dollars to have his water chemically filtered to be the same as NYC water

retarded's pizza on melrose


grammatron wrote:
gold and glass wrote:Reading this today reminded me of another good pups post. I dunno if I've ever laughed harder at a post.

good pups wrote:i went to the party of a kid with a sleazy dad and someone found his porn tapes, so we sat on his bed and watched them. one was of a guy was downwardly fucking a girl in the ass out in the desert. during one of his frequent thrusting breaks, the camera zoomed way in on her asshole which was still open. a fly was buzzing around and touching down on her butt, and then it landed on her open asshole, which instantly contracted and engulfed it. then we all screamed and then bed broke.

oh my fucking god


isobel wrote:when we were little my brother would joke, "i'm not racist, i hate running!" it wasn't very funny, but my brother does really good impressions. often when he impersonates someone, the impersonation is so funny and catchy that that impersonation haunts that person forever and eventually the person impersonated becomes more like the impersonation. he even did an impersonation of my cat that eclipsed my cat's real personality and defines my cat's personality to this day. my cat is long gone. he went missing one day and never came back.


Shost wrote:blacksugar's "all the ladies in the office think i am a health nut because I go to subway for lunch"
“Good seltzer should hurt,” reads the back of Brooklyn Seltzer Boys’ t-shirts
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Postby Gnarls » Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:13 pm

goofjan wrote:Image
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Postby can » Tue Jun 19, 2018 1:25 am

favorite quote from del's bud hunter is still "I'm trying to finish these before they get hot."
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Postby Bad craziness » Tue Jun 19, 2018 2:09 am

solid collection there, prexy
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