Pitchfork tranches

[fox]

I once wrote my ex a pitchfork review of her birthday

[Phil]

The only thing I've ever read at The Quietus was their review of Kindred, which was one of the only tolerable pieces of music writing I've read all year.

Are they normally that good?

[Baby Museum]

for the most part their reviews don't make me wanna put my dick in a vice

[lostintheair]

the writer for that Liars review might be the most intolerable person ever:
https://twitter.com/#!/JCalvert_music

dont even need to look, that twitter handle says enough

[Brunch Served 11-2pm]

The only thing I've ever read at The Quietus was their review of Kindred, which was one of the only tolerable pieces of music writing I've read all year.

Are they normally that good?

Rory Gibb is a pretty good writer across the board yeah. Solid dude too

[Motherwell]

Love this comment on the FACT Liars review (aside from the typo, although I guess you could argue a meta angle):

Don't be an idiot. He doesn't right reviews for people that aren't interested in the political and topological climate of the plane of sound. If that's too difficult of a concept for you, then you shouldn't be listening to music.

[grammatron]

And why were you trying to read that in the first place?

I love that split. nofx's cover of olympia is one of my favorite songs.

Funny thing about that review, it was written for the April Fool's joke in 2002 or whatever year that was. The other reviews were like Alanis Morrisette, Kylie Minogue, and something else. It was implied that the site was being taken over by Spin, but hey, we were still gonna cover cool records like the NoFX/Rancid split you guys!

[housesitter]

i guess this goes in here? falco responds to pitchfork's latest future of the left review

http://futureoftheleftv2now.blogspot.co ... -name.html

amazing

I already posted this in another thread but the part where he calls out Cohen for reviewing a ten-year old record is so good

[surly]

i'm partial to "it's a penguin, you cunt"

[genghis sean]

i guess this goes in here? falco responds to pitchfork's latest future of the left review

http://futureoftheleftv2now.blogspot.co ... -name.html

I actually thought the john stossel reference in the review was pretty funny. too bad he misses the context of such a sick burn

[crooked]

http://stereogum.com/1062691/ld-and-the ... tion/news/

not pitchfork but this article is fucking terrible; comments somehow manage to be worse

[Grey Poupon]

The turnover rate for pop re-appropriation is accelerating. We're barely at the backend of the last 1980s revival, kickstarted around the time the Rapture arrived in New York City and channeled the dormant influence of some of the city's musical forebears (Liquid Liquid, ESG, Tom Tom Club) on their now-seminal "House of Jealous Lovers" single. Over 20 years passed between Liquid Liquid's debut EP for 99 Records and the release of that Rapture single on DFA in 2002. Now, a decade later, Brooklyn-based five-piece Friends have sprung from the city's DIY scene, carrying a sound carved from the same touchstones that inspired the dance-punk movement. There are times when this debut covers itself in other decorative markings, but it primarily feeds off a strand of New York's past that's perilously close to being bled dry.

ffs just say a band sounds like another band without pontificating some bullshit about historical context where said historical context was 90% journalist and industry invented hype

[fake blues]

just wanted to post that the can lost tapes review/score was way too low. even if not every moment on it is classic, way too much great stuff to put it under an 8

[sliiimer]

Why?

[Totally]

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/16889-totally/

[mellowgold]

this just popped into my head

http://pitchfork.com/features/staff-lists/6219-2005-comments-lists-the-15-worst-releases-of-2005/

[sevenarts]

It's a long drive, indeed, and there's lols for miles.

[Baby Museum]

Purina pet food synergy?

http://beyond.pitchfork.com/

[Grey Poupon]

deal with it

[Cronos]

Eminem: "FACK"
For those that think this list is pussing out by not assigning a specific rank to each track, I'll give this the #1. Holy god. That there was a worse track than "My Humps" this year is the kind of thing that gets saved for history books. I actually had to pause it in the middle to get my bearings. Unfortunately, nothing I could possibly say about "FACK" would drive home my point like a lyric sample. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay, careful now: "Ow I'm so fuckin' hot/ And you're so fuckin' hot/ Oh my god/ I wanna fackin' fack/ No, not fuck, I said fack/ F-a-c-k, f-a-c-k, fack, fack fack fackin' freak me!/ Ohh yeah, girl, see baby, they call me Mr. Freaky/ Let's call your sister, 3-way have some 3-some me so horny!/ And you're such a fuckin' babe I wanna go down on you, fuck, you shave!/ Ohh goddamn, here I go again!/ I'm gonna come, I am!" And finally, the chorus: "Owwww owwww owwwww (oh goddamn!)/ I'm gonna fuckin' come! (Oh shit!)/ Fuuck fuck fuyyuccck (fuck, I am!)/ I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)." Soooo...yeah.

[shirts optional]

classic tranch - 7.8 http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/16918-children-of-desire/

[mellowgold]

what the hell is going on with that passion pit cover story

[Your Turret Has Been Destroyed]

what the hell is going on with that passion pit cover story

Read in Dynamic or Standard format.

[Jerry Lundegaard]

It's a long drive, indeed, and there's lols for miles.

i still listen to Tiny Cities. just threw it on before i went to work last night.

[Eugenics]

what the hell is going on with that passion pit cover story

dude needs to quit making music for neophyte freshmen sorority pledges that get over served at 18+ nights on their first month at school only to be taken advantage of by dudes who will chant 'hakuna matata' in their jeep on the drive home

[Ankh]

yeah but the interview really adds depth to the work by showing how he's a sad, deep artiste

[Eugenics]

man fuck anyone that has to apologize for their pop music

[mellowgold]

what the hell is going on with that passion pit cover story

dude needs to quit making music for neophyte freshmen sorority pledges that get over served at 18+ nights on their first month at school only to be taken advantage of by dudes who will chant 'hakuna matata' in their jeep on the drive home

omggggg

[Totally]

Yeah that was a banger.

[murray st.]

"Creativity essentially leads to suicide — where you think to cut yourself up, sit in the bathtub, and take more medication than you should."