Sobriety

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby The Emperor's Son » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:04 pm

my go-to answer for new people who ask "you don't drink?" is "i've had my fill"
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Postby bongo » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:04 pm

thats good

i say "yeah i quit drinking because it was making me a dumber person"
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby Cone » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:31 am

I missed my usual Saturday meeting for the past two weeks due to schedule conflicts and I relapsed yesterday. Go figure.

I actually feel positive about it just because of the immediate sense of guilt I felt and how quickly I realized that I was making a big mistake.

I’m definitely embarrassed to be starting from scratch again after all I’d learned over the past month and a half but I guess it’s just another experience to take away a new lesson from.
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Postby Cone » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:40 am

Well I really wish I had read that bear post before grabbing a bottle yesterday
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Postby bongo » Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:06 pm

hang in there cone
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby bongo » Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:13 pm

i find i always frame any thought of a return to drinking in terms of "getting totally fucked up"

when i go there, which isnt often, i have this idea that i could use booze like i would use, say, acid or molly (this is a notion that a part of me believes is not entirely negative, though it is dangerous, in that it frames alcohol for what it is - a powerful drug) - ie get a bottle one night and get destroyed, then be done with it for 6-12 months. the problem with that though is that unlike other substances booze societally embraced and even encouraged. and i spent 15 years abusing it wantonly. i know that if i let it in at all i would start to orient myself towards it, look forward to it, justify it and im not about to let that happen ever again.
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby milknight » Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:24 pm

i just want it to be friday so the real test can begin
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Postby came to wreck » Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:59 pm

Cone wrote:I missed my usual Saturday meeting for the past two weeks due to schedule conflicts and I relapsed yesterday. Go figure.

I actually feel positive about it just because of the immediate sense of guilt I felt and how quickly I realized that I was making a big mistake.

I’m definitely embarrassed to be starting from scratch again after all I’d learned over the past month and a half but I guess it’s just another experience to take away a new lesson from.


dont feel embarrassed man. in mtgs prob at least half the room knows what its like to relapse and have been there themselves. i havent been sober since my first mtg and most of the sober ppl i know havent either. as an alcoholic i am supposed to be drinking, thats my default that im used to and most comfortable in and everyday i dont is a triumph. from my experience the quicker i get back to mtgs after a relapse the easier it will be to get that day count going again and get back in the groove i was in before even though at first i might feel embarrassed and weird going back after relapsing. like you said it can be a positive thing and its all part of your journey and a learning experience that youll now be able to use in the future as another defense against drinking again.
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Postby JohnK » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:09 pm

Time and anniversaries are awesome. We celebrate them for a reason. But they’re not the end all be all. I know people who have relapsed a hundred times with a year clean at this point who are in a better overall place than some one chip wonders with 30 years. Good luck to you and keep doing the next right thing.
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Postby Cone » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:11 pm

bongo wrote:hang in there cone


appreciate it, dawg
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Postby Cone » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:18 pm

It's definitely something I saw coming when I went in. Even though I acknowledged the 'one day at a time' mantra, I still had 30 days as the milestone in my head and once I hit that I started to loosen up my own expectations of myself. Its certainly good that milestones and representations of time are celebrated, but you need to realize that they aren't a stopping point but just a marker to take pride in.
Last edited by Cone on Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby antoine » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:19 pm

Football made me want to drink a little bit. I mean that alcohol + sports thing is outright shoved in your face and it's annoying. Like, I was listening to a ton of podcasts and all the bro hosts are like "WE'RE GONNA BE AT THE TAILGATE DRINKIN, I WANT YOU FANS DRUNK AND ROWDY FOR THE BIG GAME" and then like Lane Johnson of the Eagles saying he's gonna buy the city of Philadelphia a round of Bud Lights if they win the Super Bowl and of course all Dilly Dilly commercials and blah blah endless shit. It's fucking annoying that our society embraces drinking culture *to a point*. Everyone can laugh at the drunken fans celebrating like idiots and getting arrested and behaving abhorrently but also DILLY DILLY LOL.
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Postby Cone » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:20 pm

I'm already dreading staying sober for the world cup this summer
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Postby The Emperor's Son » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:27 pm

from what i recall, drinking culture in america is weird because on average we're more prudish about consumption than other countries (especially europe -- part of this has to do w/ our high legal drinking age), but when we do indulge, we go very big and have more deaths related to it.
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Postby The Emperor's Son » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:28 pm

what i'm saying is that we're a land of contrasts
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Postby dvr » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:29 am

bear wrote:
if you do feel uncomfortable with the label, one easy compromise is to use the term alcoholic if you're in a meeting out of respect, and say you have a problem drinking to other people. I think this is fine. there's a different meaning to the term inside the rooms than there is to the outside world. there are a lot of preconceptions that just aren't true, and people in AA understand that.


i tell people i don't like to drink cause it's expensive, then go to the break room and eat a rice/vegetable/spice concoction out of tupperware.
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Postby dvr » Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:16 pm

funny, looking at the 13 years i've been on last.fm the year i quit drinking i scrobbled 2x as much as any other year
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Postby bongo » Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:08 pm

ive had alcohol dreams 2-3 nights in a row now, what the fuck
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby Hideaway Lights » Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:43 pm

100% sober since June 19th. Just passed the six month mark.
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Postby bongo » Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:45 pm

congrats!
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby Buzz Fledderjohn » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:48 am

one year without booze 8-)
the beginning of the beginning of the end of the beginning
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Postby bongo » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:48 am

my man !
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby Cone » Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:07 pm

My sponsor turned me on to the XA-Speakers site recently and I’m really enjoying it. Loaded a few speakers onto my phone to listen to while driving to work. Dunno if it’s been posted here before.

https://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=2
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Postby bongo » Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:09 pm

man i keep having booze and tobacco dreams and its annoying as hell. theyre not remotely tempting or even alluring but i would be cool with them ceasing
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby came to wreck » Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:11 pm

nice cone! there's also https://www.recoveryaudio.org/
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Postby milknight » Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:12 pm

im 10 days in and i had a weird booze dream on saturday night and i woke up in the post blackout panic and had to go make sure i still had my wallet and phone and then realized i hadnt drank the night before. i think i might try doing this for good tho. im saying a month for now bc saying forever seems scary in a way i cant really articulate. i know its early but it seems i can also eat a lot more food it seems without gaining weight. im lucky in that i have several friends who barely/dont drink at all (not even bc they are in recovery; they just dont) so this is starting to seem doable at least in my current situation.
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Postby Cone » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:22 pm

milknight wrote:saying forever seems scary in a way i cant really articulate.


Yeah I think everybody feels that way at first hence the comfort of the “one day at a time” mantra
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Postby john plainman » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:25 pm

I’ve drank excessively the past three nights while out of town at a company conference and it’s insane how demolished I feel. I rarely drink these days but after this I think I’m ready to call it quits for good.

I really can’t afford to feel this sick right now
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Postby bear » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:16 pm

congrats to celebrators hideaway, buzz and mk!
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Postby bear » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:17 pm

also yea I have pretty horrific using drugs all the time. it can get confusing for sure. have used in a dream and felt deep regret. then woken up, realized it was a dream but fallen back asleep to another dream in which I was like "wait, it wasn't a dream! I really did use! fuck!" ...
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