Sobriety

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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:54 am

and today, on the 15 month anniversary of my sobriety, i accepted a job offer to teach ESL in Ecuador

if alcohol were still a part of my life, i wouldn't be doing what i am about to do. i dont know where else to share this, but i feel like i owe this transition almost entirely to my sobriety. it sucked for a long fucking time, but great things can happen.

tho honestly i am scared to be that close to columbian
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Postby antoine » Wed Oct 25, 2017 3:29 am

madness and chaos wrote:i was about at six months and I just fucking relapsed last Sunday

feeling like dog shit, straight out of detox

life is hard as fuck

:( hang in there man.
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Postby little lulu » Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:00 am

Jerry Lundegaard wrote:i accepted a job offer to teach ESL in Ecuador


How'd you get into that? Is the pay alright?
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Postby all of the world » Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:09 am

madness and chaos wrote:i was about at six months and I just fucking relapsed last Sunday

feeling like dog shit, straight out of detox

life is hard as fuck


i went 13 months and relapsed one day and yeah it was awful and i felt like shit but since then it's been 7 1/2 years so you can use that relapse to fuel your commitment

it doesn't have to be the end of the world, it can be the start of something great
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Postby ashtrayheart » Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:27 am

im at one full year on 11/13. i cant really fathom how much my life has changed since then. i cant really begin to talk about the three years leading to the decision to quit drinking.

i can say im still really fucking depressed/anxious. a lot of the control issues i used as an excuse to drink are still there. i indulge with fast food now, and bite my nails and lots of obsessive behaviors. i still smoke when i play music out. in a lot of ways these issues are exacerbated, as i havent really gotten better at coping with them, ive only moved them onto a less destructive habit. but where i havent gotten rid of the things that have troubled me for so long, i can say ive added so many positive things my life feels really crowded now (in a good way). im halfway to an engineering degree (which boggles my fucking mind after 10 years of working fucking barista jobs) and im getting married in march, and lots of other stuff i can't believe. i have GOOD days, now. i wake up at 630am every morning and exercise five times a week. sometimes i still have manic nights where i skip too much sleep but i never thought id be a fucking MORNING person, like awake and halfway through my day at 9:30am.

i think a lot about posts in this thread. i think johnk was the guy who talked about how some of the darker things dont necessarily change or get lighter, but at least you can see there's two lines in the world and you're in the serious one. i am butchering that, but i understood it strongly when i read it and i think about that quite a bit. i dont have urges much anymore for the actual taste or sensation of drinking, but sometimes i want to shut the fuck down for like 16 hours, so i remind myself that if im gonna be depressed about this or that thing whether or not i drink, i might as well not drink and stand in line with the other depressed sober schmucks.
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Postby madness and chaos » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:29 pm

thanks for the kind words

it honestly does feel like it may fuel my commitment this time. i'm really focusing on the now. I just have to hold on to this.
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Postby antoine » Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:13 pm

ashtrayheart wrote:im at one full year on 11/13. i cant really fathom how much my life has changed since then. i cant really begin to talk about the three years leading to the decision to quit drinking.

i can say im still really fucking depressed/anxious. a lot of the control issues i used as an excuse to drink are still there. i indulge with fast food now, and bite my nails and lots of obsessive behaviors. i still smoke when i play music out. in a lot of ways these issues are exacerbated, as i havent really gotten better at coping with them, ive only moved them onto a less destructive habit. but where i havent gotten rid of the things that have troubled me for so long, i can say ive added so many positive things my life feels really crowded now (in a good way). im halfway to an engineering degree (which boggles my fucking mind after 10 years of working fucking barista jobs) and im getting married in march, and lots of other stuff i can't believe. i have GOOD days, now. i wake up at 630am every morning and exercise five times a week. sometimes i still have manic nights where i skip too much sleep but i never thought id be a fucking MORNING person, like awake and halfway through my day at 9:30am.

i think a lot about posts in this thread. i think johnk was the guy who talked about how some of the darker things dont necessarily change or get lighter, but at least you can see there's two lines in the world and you're in the serious one. i am butchering that, but i understood it strongly when i read it and i think about that quite a bit. i dont have urges much anymore for the actual taste or sensation of drinking, but sometimes i want to shut the fuck down for like 16 hours, so i remind myself that if im gonna be depressed about this or that thing whether or not i drink, i might as well not drink and stand in line with the other depressed sober schmucks.

Congrats
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Postby Dawn Running Bear » Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:45 am

So... I guess I'm a sponsor now. I don't know what to do with this. I don't remember what I did. I think I start at step 1. I'm picking him up for a 7 am meeting.

I'm not sure if he'll be disappointed when he figures out that I'm me and not whoever he thought I was, or I'll be impressed with the man it turns out I can be
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Postby FourLegsGood » Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:52 am

Is this thread exclusively for sobriety from alcohol? I don't wanna muddy the waters and distract whatever good work is going on in here but I've also been abstaining from habitual coke use for awhile now (after a really dark period) and don't know if there's a specific thread for narc sobriety or not.
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Postby internethandle » Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:57 am

as far as i understand it, no all substances welcome so long as it's either abstinence or the desire for abstinence from said substance
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Postby spaghetti legs » Fri Oct 27, 2017 4:55 am

all of the world wrote:
madness and chaos wrote:i was about at six months and I just fucking relapsed last Sunday

feeling like dog shit, straight out of detox

life is hard as fuck


i went 13 months and relapsed one day and yeah it was awful and i felt like shit but since then it's been 7 1/2 years so you can use that relapse to fuel your commitment

it doesn't have to be the end of the world, it can be the start of something great


this. you can bounce back, don't get down on yourself
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Postby spaghetti legs » Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:05 am

mascotte wrote:
king ding-a-ling wrote:6 years sober this month (10/12)


That's rad man, congratulations. How would u sum up those years


hard to summarize, for the most part my life has gotten considerably better across the board. i still struggle with concentration/mood swings/food issues/social anxiety and i definitely put too much pressure on myself a lot of the time but overall i am happier and better adjusted. very grateful to be sober, if i hadn't quit when i did i probably wouldn't be here.
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Postby madness and chaos » Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:05 pm

king ding-a-ling wrote:
all of the world wrote:
madness and chaos wrote:i was about at six months and I just fucking relapsed last Sunday

feeling like dog shit, straight out of detox

life is hard as fuck


i went 13 months and relapsed one day and yeah it was awful and i felt like shit but since then it's been 7 1/2 years so you can use that relapse to fuel your commitment

it doesn't have to be the end of the world, it can be the start of something great


this. you can bounce back, don't get down on yourself


thank you much. that's what everyone is trying to tell me. i smash myself up so bad whenever this happens and this is like the worst time. i'm so sick of losing my life and losing people in my life because of this affliction. i'm getting back into my routine now, feeling better slowly. fuck drugs/speed
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Postby mooncalf » Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:27 pm

i relapsed at just shy of a year and then again at about a year and a half before staying sober now for the past 6+ years. i found that the relapses, though of course unpleasant and terribly dangerous, served to show the places where i needed to do better if i were to stay sober. i mean, it would've been better to figure that out without relapsing, but sometimes that's not how it works out. another thing i found is that even though my ego thought it sucked to lose time, it wasn't like starting back at zero again when i came back to the rooms. i was able to work on the steps and make progress much faster since i already had a decent understanding of what it was all about.
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Postby nice pass » Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:37 pm

Jerry Lundegaard wrote:and today, on the 15 month anniversary of my sobriety, i accepted a job offer to teach ESL in Ecuador

if alcohol were still a part of my life, i wouldn't be doing what i am about to do. i dont know where else to share this, but i feel like i owe this transition almost entirely to my sobriety. it sucked for a long fucking time, but great things can happen.

tho honestly i am scared to be that close to columbia
n


my brother has been teaching esl in medellin colombia for two years fwiw. also congrats
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Postby bear » Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:28 pm

well I have a sponsor and a home group and I just went to a meeting and then an NA Halloween party, and you know what? it's all fine. actually, it's kinda nice. I dunno. I finally met some people I really get along with. I see now how key that is ... it's hard to make NA or AA a big part of your life if you don't find people that you actually wanna hang out with. because otherwise, you're just forcing it. and I mean, yeah, we all have ~using~ in common, and we can relate about that, but it's so much easier this time since I met .. tbh, liberal weirdos, gays, and/or other people in tech, as opposed to Trump voters. like don't get me wrong, I actually love the rural sport-loving Trump-voting rednecks from my previous recovery periods, they're truly nice people in most areas of their lives, but I never felt fully comfortable oandnever had the engaging non-recovery conversations I'm having now. it just makes it so much easier when you wanna hang out with people.
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Postby mascotte » Sun Oct 29, 2017 6:25 am

king ding-a-ling wrote:
mascotte wrote:
king ding-a-ling wrote:6 years sober this month (10/12)


That's rad man, congratulations. How would u sum up those years


hard to summarize, for the most part my life has gotten considerably better across the board. i still struggle with concentration/mood swings/food issues/social anxiety and i definitely put too much pressure on myself a lot of the time but overall i am happier and better adjusted. very grateful to be sober, if i hadn't quit when i did i probably wouldn't be here.


<3
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Postby blog stat » Sun Oct 29, 2017 6:25 pm

madness and chaos wrote:thanks for the kind words

it honestly does feel like it may fuel my commitment this time. i'm really focusing on the now. I just have to hold on to this.


hey dude im not sober to be clear but ive been dope free for like 10 years so if you need an ear or whatever feel free to pm

i dont know where yall stand on weed and sobriety but dabs/edibles should get you through it
PMA ALL DAY
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Postby bear » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:26 pm

oh my god I'm so happy to be clean! god this is so much better, christ
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:27 pm

hey guys I think I'm at like 16 days my longest in probably near a decade
Thank you for reading my posts ❤️
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:28 pm

wish i felt something dramatic in effect but at least i don't want to drink

that said, i plan on smoking a bunch this winter
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:30 pm

i'm lucky that i never really liked coke and have never done heroin

i used amphetamines for a long while and never got addicted, that booze is some weird stuff!
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Postby antoine » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:34 pm

Good job nathan
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:42 pm

yeah i'm a good boy
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Postby antoine » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:44 pm

Gold Star for Nobooze Boy
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Postby woozy ducks » Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:07 pm

smoking is the best
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:43 pm

yes i'm excited to get some good stuff

since i stopped drinking i need to nap every day
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Postby The Priest » Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:44 pm

i think i'm probably 10% less miserable, i guess
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Postby lockheed » Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:47 pm

i got my 3 month coin at the nyu anniversary meeting yesterday; it was pretty rad, nyu/bronfman really is my favorite spot, but we were like 20 minutes late, so i'm just gonna do my 3 month share the end of next month. these coins are heavy!
Nice day if it doesn't rain.
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Postby lockheed » Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:50 pm

edit: wrong thread
Last edited by lockheed on Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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