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Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:48 pm
by Cone
southpaw wrote:
Cone wrote:The longer I go without drinking, the more bewildered I become by the concept of drinking culture and the appeal of it in the first place. Like the hardest part of getting and staying sober for me is just the fact that I don't want people to know I've decided to stop putting this toxic liquid into my body. That's insane.

But I also have accepted that I don't care to read into it or unearth all the underlying answers of alcoholism to a point because I don't want to waste all my time meditating on negative stuff.


Have you read Susan Cheevers book on the secret history of America's drunkenness, Drinking in America? I highly recommend it. Deals with this in a powerfully sober (ing) voice.


I'll make a note to find it, thanks!

Ever since my decision to get sober I have been given/pointed to a heaping stack of literature that I really need to get cracking on

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:50 pm
by RIXX
southpaw wrote:
Cone wrote:The longer I go without drinking, the more bewildered I become by the concept of drinking culture and the appeal of it in the first place. Like the hardest part of getting and staying sober for me is just the fact that I don't want people to know I've decided to stop putting this toxic liquid into my body. That's insane.

But I also have accepted that I don't care to read into it or unearth all the underlying answers of alcoholism to a point because I don't want to waste all my time meditating on negative stuff.


Have you read Susan Cheevers book on the secret history of America's drunkenness, Drinking in America? I highly recommend it. Deals with this in a powerfully sober (ing) voice.


I have such a long reading list to catch up on, but this looks great, thank you. I just reserved a copy at B&N to pick up later tonight.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:08 pm
by milknight
im gonna try this, at least for a month

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:45 pm
by The Emperor's Son
tbh i don't think problem drinker or bad drinker is less stigmatizing than alcoholic

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:46 pm
by milknight
Sorry if “im gonnna quit for at least a month” isnt cool to post in here i can take it somewhere else just thought having it written on the internet would help

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:49 pm
by The Emperor's Son
my ambivalence and at most bafflement w/ drinking culture sunk the already low-ranking UK to pretty much the bottom re: places i want to visit

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:50 pm
by The Emperor's Son
milknight wrote:Sorry if “im gonnna quit for at least a month” isnt cool to post in here i can take it somewhere else just thought having it written on the internet would help

you're good

:)

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:51 pm
by bear
it's been my experience that once you turn into a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again.

that's at least true for people who use hard drugs. I've never known anyone to dabble again after going through a serious period of addiction.

I wonder what the stats are on people who use softer drugs after using harder drugs. the NA lore is that they eventually go back to their drug of choice, but I dunno if that's backed up by data.

but anyway, is it really worth the risk of finding out if you can drink again? for me, relapsing has been like unleashing a monster. I go harder and further than I went before, almost instantly. but another perspective is that .. what's the benefit of drinking? why bother? isn't your life better now?

as for the semantics .. I don't know. I don't think it really matters? all that matters is: do you think you can drink again? if so, are the possible consequences worth it if you're wrong?

according to AA, if you can't control your drinking, and if alcohol makes your life unmanageable, you're an alcoholic.

if you do feel uncomfortable with the label, one easy compromise is to use the term alcoholic if you're in a meeting out of respect, and say you have a problem drinking to other people. I think this is fine. there's a different meaning to the term inside the rooms than there is to the outside world. there are a lot of preconceptions that just aren't true, and people in AA understand that.

and by the way, I do recommend going to meetings. it's basically group therapy, and it rules. it's not really about quitting drinking. it's more about becoming a better person.

personally I do say "I've had issues with substance abuse in the past" to people outside the rooms. but I also don' t have a problem identifying as an addict if it comes up that way. I think that the label is easier for me to accept, because there's no doubt that someone who injects heroin and cocaine into their body is an addict. but alcohol is socially acceptable, and some people manage to drink successfully, so it's not as clear, maybe..

hope I didn't come across as belligerent here! just adding my thoughts.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:56 pm
by bongo
good post bear

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:04 pm
by The Emperor's Son
my go-to answer for new people who ask "you don't drink?" is "i've had my fill"

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:04 pm
by bongo
thats good

i say "yeah i quit drinking because it was making me a dumber person"

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:31 am
by Cone
I missed my usual Saturday meeting for the past two weeks due to schedule conflicts and I relapsed yesterday. Go figure.

I actually feel positive about it just because of the immediate sense of guilt I felt and how quickly I realized that I was making a big mistake.

I’m definitely embarrassed to be starting from scratch again after all I’d learned over the past month and a half but I guess it’s just another experience to take away a new lesson from.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:40 am
by Cone
Well I really wish I had read that bear post before grabbing a bottle yesterday

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:06 pm
by bongo
hang in there cone

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:13 pm
by bongo
i find i always frame any thought of a return to drinking in terms of "getting totally fucked up"

when i go there, which isnt often, i have this idea that i could use booze like i would use, say, acid or molly (this is a notion that a part of me believes is not entirely negative, though it is dangerous, in that it frames alcohol for what it is - a powerful drug) - ie get a bottle one night and get destroyed, then be done with it for 6-12 months. the problem with that though is that unlike other substances booze societally embraced and even encouraged. and i spent 15 years abusing it wantonly. i know that if i let it in at all i would start to orient myself towards it, look forward to it, justify it and im not about to let that happen ever again.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:24 pm
by milknight
i just want it to be friday so the real test can begin

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:59 pm
by came to wreck
Cone wrote:I missed my usual Saturday meeting for the past two weeks due to schedule conflicts and I relapsed yesterday. Go figure.

I actually feel positive about it just because of the immediate sense of guilt I felt and how quickly I realized that I was making a big mistake.

I’m definitely embarrassed to be starting from scratch again after all I’d learned over the past month and a half but I guess it’s just another experience to take away a new lesson from.


dont feel embarrassed man. in mtgs prob at least half the room knows what its like to relapse and have been there themselves. i havent been sober since my first mtg and most of the sober ppl i know havent either. as an alcoholic i am supposed to be drinking, thats my default that im used to and most comfortable in and everyday i dont is a triumph. from my experience the quicker i get back to mtgs after a relapse the easier it will be to get that day count going again and get back in the groove i was in before even though at first i might feel embarrassed and weird going back after relapsing. like you said it can be a positive thing and its all part of your journey and a learning experience that youll now be able to use in the future as another defense against drinking again.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:09 pm
by JohnK
Time and anniversaries are awesome. We celebrate them for a reason. But they’re not the end all be all. I know people who have relapsed a hundred times with a year clean at this point who are in a better overall place than some one chip wonders with 30 years. Good luck to you and keep doing the next right thing.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:11 pm
by Cone
bongo wrote:hang in there cone


appreciate it, dawg

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:18 pm
by Cone
It's definitely something I saw coming when I went in. Even though I acknowledged the 'one day at a time' mantra, I still had 30 days as the milestone in my head and once I hit that I started to loosen up my own expectations of myself. Its certainly good that milestones and representations of time are celebrated, but you need to realize that they aren't a stopping point but just a marker to take pride in.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:19 pm
by antoine
Football made me want to drink a little bit. I mean that alcohol + sports thing is outright shoved in your face and it's annoying. Like, I was listening to a ton of podcasts and all the bro hosts are like "WE'RE GONNA BE AT THE TAILGATE DRINKIN, I WANT YOU FANS DRUNK AND ROWDY FOR THE BIG GAME" and then like Lane Johnson of the Eagles saying he's gonna buy the city of Philadelphia a round of Bud Lights if they win the Super Bowl and of course all Dilly Dilly commercials and blah blah endless shit. It's fucking annoying that our society embraces drinking culture *to a point*. Everyone can laugh at the drunken fans celebrating like idiots and getting arrested and behaving abhorrently but also DILLY DILLY LOL.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:20 pm
by Cone
I'm already dreading staying sober for the world cup this summer

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:27 pm
by The Emperor's Son
from what i recall, drinking culture in america is weird because on average we're more prudish about consumption than other countries (especially europe -- part of this has to do w/ our high legal drinking age), but when we do indulge, we go very big and have more deaths related to it.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:28 pm
by The Emperor's Son
what i'm saying is that we're a land of contrasts

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:29 am
by dvr
bear wrote:
if you do feel uncomfortable with the label, one easy compromise is to use the term alcoholic if you're in a meeting out of respect, and say you have a problem drinking to other people. I think this is fine. there's a different meaning to the term inside the rooms than there is to the outside world. there are a lot of preconceptions that just aren't true, and people in AA understand that.


i tell people i don't like to drink cause it's expensive, then go to the break room and eat a rice/vegetable/spice concoction out of tupperware.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:16 pm
by dvr
funny, looking at the 13 years i've been on last.fm the year i quit drinking i scrobbled 2x as much as any other year

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 12:08 pm
by bongo
ive had alcohol dreams 2-3 nights in a row now, what the fuck

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:43 pm
by Hideaway Lights
100% sober since June 19th. Just passed the six month mark.

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:45 pm
by bongo
congrats!

Re: Sobriety

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:48 am
by Buzz Fledderjohn
one year without booze 8-)