Sobriety

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby That Demon Life » Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:20 am

I'm 2 days into quitting drinking for the millionth time.

I think the longest I've had is a few months.

Gotta figure out what it is that always brings me back because right now I can't imagine ever wanting a drink again. Not to mention I now have an amazing, successful woman who loves me for some dumb reason and a dog and a future and all that shit.
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Postby That Demon Life » Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:21 am

Also I used to like things but now I only like my dog, tv and fortnite
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Postby largecrow » Wed Apr 18, 2018 12:03 am

nothing particularly compelling to contribute but just wanted to note that I read through this thread for like two years before I got a hipinion account and it was a big help in getting sober.
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:47 pm

six months!
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Postby nice pass » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:52 pm

Nice, how ya' feeling?
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:20 pm

pretty great!
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Postby Buzz Fledderjohn » Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:26 pm

this thread is always inspiring, and congrats to everyone who's recently been taking the plunge. i'm coming on 15 months without booze.

my next thing needs to be iphone addiction. not checking twitter or email or insta every second i'm not doing anything. might try to get more involved with meditation which i like to think will help that.
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:21 pm

meditation ime definitely helps w/ that

I waited a long time to develop a regular practice because I thought I had to devote a lot of time to it, but even starting with five minutes in the morning every day has been great! and that's grown over time, esp. on days when I have more time to spare.
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Postby bongo » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:31 am

congrats bear
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Postby bongo » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:38 am

im no longer having drinking dreams (at least havent recently - still have cigarette dreams though)

question: has anyone who is versed in recovery/sobriety literature read the new leslie jamison yet? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35959632-the-recovering

im reading it now and i think its quite good for what it is. certainly feels very relevant to me as someone with a background in creative writing and, more to the point, a person who once tacitly subscribed to a john barleycorn 'white logic'/sagelike drunk bullshit

im curious though how this book will sit with the aa community as it posits itself as a different sort of recovery narrative and i imagine may be divisive
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Postby RIXX » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:57 am

that looks great- i'm gonna order it, thanks

i feel like i read a new yorker profile on leslie jamison last year or something and I was really anticipating The Recovering but I totally forgot about it
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Postby bongo » Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:00 am

RIXX wrote:that looks great- i'm gonna order it, thanks

i feel like i read a new yorker profile on leslie jamison last year or something and I was really anticipating The Recovering but I totally forgot about it


epub in the ebook thread fyi
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Postby RIXX » Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:21 am

amazing thanks :) downloading now

i think i'll start reading it with my kindle and then order the hardcover if i'm into it
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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Fri Apr 20, 2018 9:15 pm

Buzz Fledderjohn wrote:this thread is always inspiring, and congrats to everyone who's recently been taking the plunge. i'm coming on 15 months without booze.

my next thing needs to be iphone addiction. not checking twitter or email or insta every second i'm not doing anything. might try to get more involved with meditation which i like to think will help that.


my suggestion is to delete insta/twitter from your phone. maybe just for a week and see how it goes.
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Postby came to wreck » Sat Apr 21, 2018 12:27 am

or use the phone addiction to your advantage and get addicted to a meditation app. some ppl i know use "insight timer" which has guided meditations and a lot of other features.
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Postby bear » Sat Apr 21, 2018 9:01 am

insight timer is pretty sick, i love their bell sounds
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Postby Sports Fan of the Year » Tue Apr 24, 2018 5:47 am

It's been (I think, one symptom of my alcoholism was that days, weeks and even months tend to blur together) a couple of weeks since I had a drink and I'm definitely 100% determined to stick with it this time, especially since I've told all my close friends and relatives and I have their full support, but man, my nerves feel completely shattered and I'm getting insane anxiety that's mostly manifesting itself in the form of constantly worrying about things that are so incredibly illogical I'd be embarrassed to type them out here. Despite this I feel absolutely no temptation to drink or go back to any other substances and I just know that if I can make it to the end of the World Cup then the benefits will be so incredibly clear that I'll be able to stick to it forever. Sorry, I'm rambling. Stay strong everyone!
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Postby bear » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:25 am

I will say that the resolution to not drink, ime, is often not enough. it can be very strong in the beginning, but fades in time. behavioral change is required. that could be going to meetings, going to therapy, finding alternative hobbies, practicing meditation, exercising -- or some combination.
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Postby something sensible if » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:02 pm

when i quit i basically decided do or die under no circumstances ever at all in any universe of situations would i ever drink under any circumstances whatsoever no matter what happens. and like, i feel that pretty much everything in my life changed around me quitting drinking. like it had to be the fuckin bunker in the hurricane.

like its never happened but if someone persistently pressed me to drink i would probably punch them in the face
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Postby bongo » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:10 pm

i am proud to not drink
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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:15 pm

yeah i think it is really helpful to channel that energy into another activity. distract yourself from your non-drinking with something else.

Stick with it Sports Fan, it gets easier as time goes on!
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Postby bongo » Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:09 pm

a good thing to keep in mind is that drinking is completely pedestrian and lame and only serves to blunt experience and cheat you out of authentically experiences raw Life
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Postby Sports Fan of the Year » Tue Apr 24, 2018 9:57 pm

bear wrote:I will say that the resolution to not drink, ime, is often not enough. it can be very strong in the beginning, but fades in time. behavioral change is required. that could be going to meetings, going to therapy, finding alternative hobbies, practicing meditation, exercising -- or some combination.


This all sounds very sensible. Glad to have a gym membership now and I suppose meetings aren't out of the question. Cheers.
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Postby j-ol » Wed Apr 25, 2018 12:32 pm

bongo wrote:question: has anyone who is versed in recovery/sobriety literature read the new leslie jamison yet? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35959632-the-recovering

im reading it now and i think its quite good for what it is. certainly feels very relevant to me as someone with a background in creative writing and, more to the point, a person who once tacitly subscribed to a john barleycorn 'white logic'/sagelike drunk bullshit

im curious though how this book will sit with the aa community as it posits itself as a different sort of recovery narrative and i imagine may be divisive


haven't read it but looks good.

https://www.thefix.com/recovering-inter ... ie-jamison

currently working my way through anne fletcher's inside rehab. would recommend to anyone who's not familiar with the treatment/recovery scene but is planning to enter inpatient or outpatient, knows someone who needs help, or aims to work in these settings someday.
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Postby milknight » Wed Apr 25, 2018 12:35 pm

i think i need to stop smoking weed now. i dont really feel "sober" anymore even though i think i havent drank in like 4 months now (with the exception of a night on vacation in mexico city, that was mostly fine but also a good reminder why i stopped) and i think its because im constantly stoned again now. im not sure hopw i fell back into this. i guess its not a huge deal but i thinnk im gonna try quitting again after this bags gone. its not hard for me to not drink its hard for me to be sober im realizing.
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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Sun Apr 29, 2018 12:12 pm

OK SO

I would like to take mushrooms for my 30th birthday in August but I am worried that this will compromise the integrity of my sobriety. Like it would add an asterisk to what will be two years at the end of july. so like I am torn because for one i want to celebrate and i think this might be a fun way, but also i might just be like "gimme a damn cigarette!" and end up hooked on nicotine again. which i dont want. but otoh this might be a fun way to enter my fourth decade.

what do you guys think?
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Postby Cone » Sun Apr 29, 2018 1:33 pm

I think it ultimately comes down to the latter part of risking being triggered into a full-on relapse. As far as the “integrity of sobriety” part, I totally get that and have been thinking on that concept myself.

The other day after 90 consecutive days of sobriety I stupidly convinced myself that it would be okay for me to have a couple drinks and I immediately regretted it. I didn’t do anything dangerous or spiral into a bender or anything but it still sucks to reset my counter at zero. But at the same time I think of it not as starting back at the beginning but instead as me just deviating off my path of sobriety for a moment.

I still have all the knowledge and wisdom I’ve acquired throughout my sobriety so far and even though I had a stupid lapse of judgement, I was at least aware enough to stop myself before I did anything worse.
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Postby came to wreck » Sun Apr 29, 2018 1:54 pm

i've often thought how it would be cool to take shrooms or acid again after being sober awhile, to trip like once a year and have a nice reflective time to think about my life and a new perspective etc so the desire to do that for a 30th birthday makes total sense to me. but also for myself if i play that tape forward, and try to think what will happen after i trip, like the next day or next week and how i could have easily gotten the ball rolling and awakened the urge to drink and will probably then start to crave a drink more than i have in a really long time. idk how i would be able to deal with that and not take my trip as an excuse to keep the party going and not to completely fall into drinking and using again. also idk how you used to trip, everyone is different with their relationship to certain drugs/chemicals/substances, but my relationship with tripping was very much a part of partying and wanting to escape and get fucked up. i know other ppl legitimately use tripping for theraputic reasons and even to get off drugs and overcome addiction but thats def not how i tripped back in the day so for me to try to twist it now as a way i can simply gain insight as some sort of self-realization tool is bullshit if i really consider it thoughtfully. if i give it enough room my mind can very easily start to rationalize anything no matter how detrimental i know it will be to me in the end. from getting sober i've been able to rebuild my life and come out from my bottom and now have a life i really love and know i wouldn't have if i didn't ever get sober and i guess the real question for me is doing acid one more time really worth losing all i have now. cause i know the way i drank and used i def would lose my job, friends, gf, support of my family, mental wellbeing, money etc very quickly if i started back up again and of course it could be even worse where i get to the place of perhaps being homeless or in jail or dead. so thats how i think about tripping when i have thoughts of doing it again from time to time. perhaps for you its different though, ppl in your life who know you would probably be better to offer advice. also there is the whole way of talking about it from a program perspective but idk if you go to mtgs so im not gonna bring any of that up right now. certain ppl in mtgs love bringing up how bill w did acid though and that brings up interesting debates about it within program circles.
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Postby bear » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:24 pm

i've considered this too .. like, not that soon, but maybe after 20 years, it seems probable that i could take LSD again and not go into full relapse mode. but ultimately, i don't think i will, because:

1) is it really worth the risk? even if it's a low risk, that life was just so awful. it's not that important to trip.
2) the nagging feeling that i'm relapsing would not be conducive to a good trip anyway, so why bother

so the approach i'm taking is to seek out sober things that can provide those sorts of experiences. long distance running, or meditation, or skydiving, or jumping into really cold water, or super long hikes, I dunno. a big theme of my recovery has been realizing all the things life has to offer that i was simply ignoring. you've already tried tripping -- why not try to find something else deeply meaningful that is more aligned with your current goals and lifestyle?
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Postby bear » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:25 pm

i wanna go on one of those silent retreats
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