Sobriety

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby j-ol » Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:56 pm

i agree, nothing in principle that separates recovery from substances from any problematic behaviour/pattern. addictions often come in bundles, and combination of process/behavioural w/ substance addiction is super common.
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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:07 pm

for me the root of all my addictions is my lack of impulse control. a lot of my recovery has been being aware of and reacting to my impulses in a healthy way. it was never just alcohol, but alcohol and its use became the thing that shed the most light on my impulse issues. it had the most clear effects on my life, like a very real and serious thing that was affecting me.
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Postby internethandle » Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:18 pm

yeah i think we've established that this thread is fine for all things compulsive or addictive, so long as the person has some intention at (eventually) aiming for abstinence from that activity/substance. if they aren't there yet, fine.

internet/computer addiction is definitely something that i struggle with. being more mindful makes me aware of its inherent mindlessness and potential to sort of lead me into a kind of unhealthy drivenness or feeling overly activated. i've spent a few nights these past few weeks not getting on when i get home (although i'm still partaking at work), and just doing my nightly meditation, eating without distraction, and then reading. has definitely been good for me. the interesting thing about internet addiction is that, apparently, those professionals who have delved into developing treatment methods for it/related find that it's somewhat easy to alleviate or eliminate relative to other compulsions and addictions, which is not something i would have expected.
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Postby Paul » Tue Mar 13, 2018 3:06 pm

Completely forgot I'm 4 years sober as if two days ago. I'm really fun at parties
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Postby dvr » Tue Mar 13, 2018 3:33 pm

Paul wrote:Completely forgot I'm 4 years sober as if two days ago. I'm really fun at parties


congrats! i hit four years in april. yeah, i feel like at parties i can motor through any conversation and fit right in. before it was more stare at a beer, take a sip, "yep..."
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Postby JohnK » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:20 am

Congrats, Paul. That’s really awesome. You’ve come a long way from drinking whiskey on tinychat. :D I hit 5 years last week and made a dumb joke about it on the last page that (maybe?) went unnoticed.

In other cool news, I’m going to start co-facilitating a nurse support group for recovering addicts/alcoholics. I’ve been involved in one for over 4 years and the facilitator of my group wants me to help her with her other group and maybe start my own a little bit down the road. Pretty stoked.
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Postby bongo » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:29 am

congrats paul, dvr, and johnk :)
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby madness and chaos » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:52 pm

two weeks :oops:
Roberto Bolaño's chair
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Postby Paul » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:54 pm

madness and chaos wrote:two weeks :oops:


good job man, keep it up.

Love u John. Can't believe it's been 5 years!
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Postby bongo » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:32 am

today is my one year. one year ago i was dealing with near daily full blown panic attacks, full on alcohol dependency, regular black outs, scary benzo/booze combinations, endless benders i was scared to come off of

so much has happened in that year, and like -categorically good stuff. i now have a healthy, beautiful baby boy, i successfully pivoted careers into a great salaried job, i put together the best and most assured record ive ever made, i laid the foundation and negotiated terms for a new collaborative record label to launch this summer,im actually paying down debt which is astonishing.. and just generally being lucid, present, stable(ish), a better partner/friend/son, and actually feeling like ive made good on some stuff for the first time in my life.

its no secret that alcohol numbs us to things, but i never knew how much of a blunting/arresting/terrible effect it had on me until now. i still have anxiety/panic issues, im still prone to fixation, i know resisting the urge to drink (and smoke cigarettes) is something that will recur for me at random intervals throughout my life. but for now i feel a sense of peace and contentment and relief to be free from something that was destroying me.
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby bunkbeds » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:38 am

hell yeah, bingo. congrats on your one year! that's fucking awesome. looking forward to hearing your record and the new label.

good work, madness and chaos! you're on a bright and beautiful path. those first 2 weeks are a son of a bitch. keep it up!
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Postby milknight » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:39 am

Congrats dude thats awesome and a year isnt even that long i hope things keep getting better.

I havent drank in 2 months! Seems shorter than that. Gotta work on being more social/figure out dating but i feel and i think look alot better and i dont think im gonna go back. Gotta stop smoking cigs on the weekends tho
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Postby bongo » Mon Mar 19, 2018 9:07 am

thanks guys, great work mk - 2 months is solid :)
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Postby Cone » Mon Mar 19, 2018 9:08 am

Hell yeah bingo way to go

I'm constantly becoming more confident and comfortable in sobriety but am still getting hung up on how I can approach certain situations/conflicts that I used to respond to negatively before I was sober like everyday things at work or in my relationship. I guess I feel so good and different now that I've gone through this huge change and I just for some reason was expecting everything else around me to change in the same way, but now I have to be more aware that even though I've been having all these amazing and insightful revelations and changes in my life, the rest of the world is still the same and I still can't control it. It seems dumb but that's what really has bothered me lately.

Anyways not drinking rules
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Postby bongo » Mon Mar 19, 2018 2:19 pm

yeah i know what youre saying totally. its strange to see things keeping on keeping on from a new vantage of lucidity. its a bit jarring and disconcerting sometimes
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Postby Jerry Lundegaard » Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:42 pm

you guys ever hit that point where you see people drinking and you think to yourself "they think they're having fun". and like, silently judge them and wish they wouldnt? this is inspired by seeing friends' (former drinking friends) snapchat stories of being in vegas and the other group in nawlins.


but like maybe they really are just having fun and can control their alcohol intake so that it never gets to a point where it is self destructive? but then i wonder where do you draw the line between responsible consumption and irresponsible? like it just seems to me that depending on when you drink, any amount of alcohol is bad for you. and on the other hand i've seen that life is better without drinking. it's almost like a christian/on-campus missionary once told me, "if you truly thought that you received this wonderful gift of [christ's love/salvation], then wouldn't you want to share it with other people as well?" and that logic makes sense w/r/t religion. and i guess sobriety a little bit too.

but it is not my responsibility to encourage others to engage with sobriety? isn't it just a path that others need to walk for themselves? like "an addicts gotta see their bottom comin' up"? and who am i to judge? live your life. have fun. do what makes you happy. i dunno, i'm just trying to process a feeling i have occasionally in a safe space where i know others have maybe felt the same thing.

thanks for reading.
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Postby antoine » Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:46 pm

Jerry Lundegaard wrote:you guys ever hit that point where you see people drinking and you think to yourself "they think they're having fun". and like, silently judge them and wish they wouldnt? this is inspired by seeing friends' (former drinking friends) snapchat stories of being in vegas and the other group in nawlins.


but like maybe they really are just having fun and can control their alcohol intake so that it never gets to a point where it is self destructive? but then i wonder where do you draw the line between responsible consumption and irresponsible? like it just seems to me that depending on when you drink, any amount of alcohol is bad for you. and on the other hand i've seen that life is better without drinking. it's almost like a christian/on-campus missionary once told me, "if you truly thought that you received this wonderful gift of [christ's love/salvation], then wouldn't you want to share it with other people as well?" and that logic makes sense w/r/t religion. and i guess sobriety a little bit too.

but it is not my responsibility to encourage others to engage with sobriety? isn't it just a path that others need to walk for themselves? like "an addicts gotta see their bottom comin' up"? and who am i to judge? live your life. have fun. do what makes you happy. i dunno, i'm just trying to process a feeling i have occasionally in a safe space where i know others have maybe felt the same thing.

thanks for reading.

Yes, I feel like this quite often.
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Postby antoine » Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:48 pm

But I often work around bars and drunk people so its hard not to judge.
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Postby ruiner » Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:54 pm

went on a five day bender and have spent my whole day off in bed sweating, puking, and feeling horrible

can t do this anymore.

terrified of the withdrawals
FUCK

I LOVE ROCK MUSIC
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Postby something sensible if » Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:45 am

i feel like when i went sober i lost most of and tested the rest of my friends and family because i was so intensely absorbed and confused and overwhelmed with sobriety and depression/anxiety, and i didn't really know how to exist with it. and i basically still don't know how to talk or explain how i'm feeling, really. i'm sorta just full of rage and also disappointment with myself for being sort of robotic in my interactions with friends.

sometimes i feel like i just don't understand people and it's too hard for me to figure it out. i'm looking forward to getting a job again so i can pay for therapy again and go to physical therapy also and just generally try my best to thrive again.
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Postby That Demon Life » Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:20 am

I'm 2 days into quitting drinking for the millionth time.

I think the longest I've had is a few months.

Gotta figure out what it is that always brings me back because right now I can't imagine ever wanting a drink again. Not to mention I now have an amazing, successful woman who loves me for some dumb reason and a dog and a future and all that shit.
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Postby That Demon Life » Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:21 am

Also I used to like things but now I only like my dog, tv and fortnite
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Postby largecrow » Wed Apr 18, 2018 12:03 am

nothing particularly compelling to contribute but just wanted to note that I read through this thread for like two years before I got a hipinion account and it was a big help in getting sober.
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:47 pm

six months!
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Postby nice pass » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:52 pm

Nice, how ya' feeling?
Beam me up, get me out
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:20 pm

pretty great!
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Postby Buzz Fledderjohn » Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:26 pm

this thread is always inspiring, and congrats to everyone who's recently been taking the plunge. i'm coming on 15 months without booze.

my next thing needs to be iphone addiction. not checking twitter or email or insta every second i'm not doing anything. might try to get more involved with meditation which i like to think will help that.
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Postby bear » Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:21 pm

meditation ime definitely helps w/ that

I waited a long time to develop a regular practice because I thought I had to devote a lot of time to it, but even starting with five minutes in the morning every day has been great! and that's grown over time, esp. on days when I have more time to spare.
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Postby bongo » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:31 am

congrats bear
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Postby bongo » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:38 am

im no longer having drinking dreams (at least havent recently - still have cigarette dreams though)

question: has anyone who is versed in recovery/sobriety literature read the new leslie jamison yet? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35959632-the-recovering

im reading it now and i think its quite good for what it is. certainly feels very relevant to me as someone with a background in creative writing and, more to the point, a person who once tacitly subscribed to a john barleycorn 'white logic'/sagelike drunk bullshit

im curious though how this book will sit with the aa community as it posits itself as a different sort of recovery narrative and i imagine may be divisive
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