Honestly, does anyone here 69?

[Vasya]

iambic isn't a prude, his days of posting about sex on a messageboard are just years behind him

[Lucky]

what are the premium years for that

i feel like i should be having more sex than the 0 i am currently having aged 21¾

[Riverchrist]

I dunno how much books can you read.

[can]

iambic what is it like to never know joy

dayummmmmmm

[blogger status]

[Spotlight Kid]

this thread has inspired me to do some ass shit at the nearest opoprtunity

Haha ass shit

[Dear You]

At 37 pages, I doubt this thread needs any more fuel, but who cares. I've had some drinks. Up until June 10th, 2012, hpn user Dear You had never gone down on a woman. Yes, despite being engaged for about a year and a half, plus dating a girl previously for almost three years, this never happened.

After a while, more than anything it was a "I dunno how" thing (sorry weasel) but after a few drinks I figured "#yolo" and just went for it. I actually started with the butt, which went pretty well. Then I switched over and it felt like forever although knowing me it was really like 5 minutes or something. I know making a post like this is poor form to a lot of people, but (and I'm being seriously, I'm afraid) because of a thread like this, I finally got the inspiration to try something new. I look forward to the inevitable "How have you gone this far in life without..." such and such. I dunno. Love you hpn.

Also tried 69ing. It was weird. Very bizarre feeling.

[king ding-a-ling]

I actually started with the butt, which went pretty well.

pretty ballsy

[waldojeffers1]

this is like when you'd never eaten an orange before

well done

[Dear You]

I'm just trying new things for you, waldo.

[Lucky]

I prefer giving to receiving but my ex didn't seem to like either. Got maybe 3 blowjobs in the 2.5 years i was with my ex and they were disappointing. Quite a few times I remember her telling me not to go down too, sucked. Maybe she thought I was doing it so she'd reciprocate or something I dunno.

[ho bag brown]

this is like when you'd never eaten an orange before

well done

"I actually started with the peel"

[babybaby]

congrats dear you, that makes me happy

[ho bag brown]

Seriously though nuff respect Dear You, that's pretty great

[waldojeffers1]

I'm just trying new things for you, waldo.

think of me when you're having the best sex of your life

[Dear You]

I'm just trying new things for you, waldo.

think of me when you're having the best sex of your life

I can just imagine it.

On the verge of climax, I can feel the eruption about to happen. I brace myself, exclaiming "FOR THE REVOLUTION" before I culminate a mindblowing lovemaking session. I then drink some vodka and walk about for like 10 miles.

[waldojeffers1]

[Poptone]

this thread is a judgement free zone unless you're into snowballing.

Not judging anyone for it, just saying the image of poptone doing it isn't one I relish.

I don't exactly relish the images that result from Hipinioners' posts in the board's near-daily poop confessionals, if it helps any.

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

I guess I won't read this thread after all.

[mites]

don't you want to know about johnk's cockring experience?

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

Actually I saw that one.

[waldojeffers1]

I don't even know what a cockring is

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

It's like a wedding ring but it signifies that you have a dick.

[mites]

you fucking novice

[wintergreen]

way to go, dear you.

[sleigh]

here's some good ambient sound

[Ankh]

what happened to my thread??

[nakedlunch]

thread 69d itself

[trope]

Hey so that post a couple pages back where it said to wrap garlic in foil before you roast it - total bullshit. Just bung a bulb or two in a hot oven for half an hour and go nuts.

[Barmy]

yep

perfect for some post 69 garlic mashed