Hipinion Parents Thread

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Postby wolfie » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:45 am

the boy pretty much cries every day he gets dropped off at school

then when you pick him up he cries because he doesn't want to leave
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Postby wolfie » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:50 am

last night went like this:

came home from work
the boy climbed all over me while i tried to eat dinner
the boy took a mop and knocked a vase off the shelf and i spent 30 minutes cleaning up glass
the boy punched me in the ear so hard that it was ringing (i'd never experienced this before)
i yelled at the boy for ringing my bell
the boy cried
i apologized
i read him a story and he fell asleep

this morning he woke up, spotted some candy across the room and promptly flipped the fuck out that he wasn't allowed to have it for breakfast
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Postby Turner_Brown » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:51 am

Starting work at 9am is pretty fucking rad until your kids reach school age, then your wife skips out the door at 7:30am whistling w/ coffee in hand.

I'm all:

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Postby Shotfrog » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:51 am

I'm going to be one of you in about six months. So far nothing in this thread makes me want to run screaming for Mexico.
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Postby wolfie » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:53 am

i'm doubling down in a few weeks
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Postby Turner_Brown » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:56 am

wolfie wrote:i'm doubling down in a few weeks


Man, it's fucking tough. I think that the adjustment from 1 to 2 was harder than 0 to 1.

Like, with one, if you went out to do something you weren't fucking over your spouse too bad. Now...if I have to work late I get the fucking evil eye when I get home.
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Postby jerbear » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:01 am

stupid waiter kept trying to tickle my daughter yesterday till she finally had enough, smacked him and glared until he walked away. i beamed proudly.
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Postby darger » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:02 am

one of my twins got assigned to a table with six girls and no other boys.

broke his little heart.
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Postby BlackSugar » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:04 am

yesterday my 4 year old snuck up behind our dog, put his hands on her hips and pretended to buttfuck it
I watched this silently
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Postby Turner_Brown » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:04 am

jerbear wrote:stupid waiter kept trying to tickle my daughter yesterday till she finally had enough, smacked him and glared until he walked away. i beamed proudly.


So...at what restaurant is it ok for a strange man to tickle your daughter?
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Postby Ankh » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:06 am

six more weeks...
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Postby darger » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:12 am

also, my twins invented a code word so i wouldn't know when they were talking about their junk.

the code word was "weenus."
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Postby jerbear » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:12 am

Turner_Brown wrote:
jerbear wrote:stupid waiter kept trying to tickle my daughter yesterday till she finally had enough, smacked him and glared until he walked away. i beamed proudly.


So...at what restaurant is it ok for a strange man to tickle your daughter?


fucking disney man
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Postby jerbear » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:14 am

BlackSugar wrote:yesterday my 4 year old snuck up behind our dog, put his hands on her hips and pretended to buttfuck it
I watched this silently


:lol:
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Postby regular ol' slokra » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:14 am

darger wrote:also, my twins invented a code word so i wouldn't know when they were talking about their junk.

the code word was "weenus."


how did you break the code?
;)
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Postby Turner_Brown » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:16 am

jerbear wrote:
Turner_Brown wrote:
jerbear wrote:stupid waiter kept trying to tickle my daughter yesterday till she finally had enough, smacked him and glared until he walked away. i beamed proudly.


So...at what restaurant is it ok for a strange man to tickle your daughter?


fucking disney man


Shit, my wife is in the middle of planning our first trip there next year. How was it?

It wouldn't be so bad with my oldest but I'm dreading dragging around a 1yr old.
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Postby darger » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:17 am

Slokra wrote:
darger wrote:also, my twins invented a code word so i wouldn't know when they were talking about their junk.

the code word was "weenus."


how did you break the code?


bayesian inference.
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Postby regular ol' slokra » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:19 am

damn
;)
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Postby Dalen » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:25 am

my son won't stop bugging me about Screamfest Orlando coming up. "Is Jason gonna be there? How about Michael Myers? Will there be zombies? I'll bet Dracula is gonna be there Daddy!"

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Postby jerbear » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:34 am

Turner_Brown wrote:
jerbear wrote:
Turner_Brown wrote:So...at what restaurant is it ok for a strange man to tickle your daughter?


fucking disney man


Shit, my wife is in the middle of planning our first trip there next year. How was it?

It wouldn't be so bad with my oldest but I'm dreading dragging around a 1yr old.


my daughter is a year and a bit and yeah i don't think she really gives two fucks. liked meeting woody and buzz but that's pretty much been it. won't be taking her back till she can enjoy it, maybe in a few years. trip was more for my wife who's never been.

it doesn't help its insanely hot every single day
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Postby ted dibiase » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:41 am

My 4 year old got his first real pedal bike on Monday afternoon. On Tuesday evening we took the training wheels off. By last night I was running full tilt down the road trying to keep up with him.

I can't recommend balance bikes enough. He's showing up the 6 year olds on the block.
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Postby DizzyBusiness » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:45 am

my little dude had to be re-circumcised at the cost of $6,500. I'm about to blow up a hospital
The backyard is bringing me down.
And the front one is freaking me out.
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Postby jerbear » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:48 am

jesus
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Postby tgk » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:49 am

The 5 month old is in a phase where he gets absolutely enraged when we try and put him to bed at night. We were in a hotel last week and he was just screaming and screaming, completely inconsolable, nothing we tried was working. After about 45 minutes we were at our wits end and started worrying about people complaining so to muffle the screams a bit I put a light receiving blanket over his head. The second I did this he grabbed the blanket, turned to his side, and was fast asleep. The gf and I just stared at each other and started (quietly) laughing our heads off. You can learn a lot in moments of desperation.
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Postby BlackSugar » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:53 am

the genius king wrote:You can learn a lot in moments of desperation.


I learned the white noise trick when my collicky first kid (both kids had colic)(well of course they did) was screaming his ass off and I was going so insane that I furiously flicked on a guitar amp I had in the room, hit the 'overdrive' button and then cranked the volume. he stopped crying and went to sleep and it turned out to be a great soother for both of them
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Postby zellar » Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:58 am

I took my kids (twins, 3 in December) out in a kayak this weekend and when we got to the middle of the lake I suggested they take a look over the side to see if they could see any fish. Both leaned to the same side and the boat went straight over. Turns out (a) it is fucking impossible to get water out of a sinking kayak in the middle of the lake, and (b) two year olds don't really hold up all that well under pressure. Had to get towed in and oh man the wife was not happy.
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Postby wolfie » Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:02 am

zellar wrote: two year olds don't really hold up all that well under pressure.


haha

i can picture this scene
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Postby tth » Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:05 am

my little guy is growing up so fast i can hardly beleve it../
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Postby ted dibiase » Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:05 am

white noise machine is fucking life saver
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Postby Turner_Brown » Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:10 am

On the morning of the first day of school....

I was walking over to the daycare with the baby strapped to my chest, a bag full of stuff for the daycare, my 3yr old in tow, oh and I was also walking the dog. Nero takes a big steaming shit and I'm struggling to bend over to pick it up. I finally get to it and go at it full force with the baggy...which is defective...the bottom isn't sealed. Sooo....now I've got shit on my hand. My daughter promptly reminds me of this, the whole rest of the way. Some guy parked in a van witnessed it and mercifully offered me up a handful of napkins. And then it started to rain.
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