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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:34 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
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https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:49 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:24 am

Code: Select all
YouTube: Ampersand started "Urge to Kill AKA Attack Of The Killer Computer (1988)"

donnamartin
already promsing

dan
a good sign already

Trebbers
Gordeno crunch

Bob511
Oh, a timecode.

shalabi
urge to kill......rising....

Trebbers
Is this song called called 'Urge to Kill'

Trebbers
yessss

Ampersand
the urge to tap off beat

Bob511
Sometimes you tape ten hours of Lord of the Rings movies, and then let the REC run.

dan
Urge to Chill

donnamartin
is this a stolen copy? what with the time count?

kayke
Glow Season 2

kayke
stolen straight from Netflix HQ

Ampersand
it wants us to know how much of our lives we're wasting, donna

Trebbers
"I call it Metal Machine Music"

jpeen
I'm tellin you bill, you'll be eating your words when billboard unveils their new Murderdisco chart in a couple months

donnamartin
what is that shirt

dan
I feel like now, more than ever, a song called Urge to Kill would tear up the charts

shalabi
are these people floating in space?

donnamartin
love a strong female character with the voice of a 7 year old

donnamartin
ew

donnamartin
this got gross fast

jpeen
well, it's delivering on the title so far

Trebbers
He talks like a perverted HAL9000

poperblast4
whoooooooooooooooo boy.

donnamartin
that i hvae the urge to kill?

Bob511
Does that recording studio have a stripper pole?

jpeen
was just speaking for myself but yeah

donnamartin
well, speaking for me too
gdhjjvdd entered the room

Trebbers
"Get down here, so I can sexually harass you too"

Bob511
"Yeah, it's 10:05:07:00'
gdhjjvdd left the room

poperblast4
"hi ... it's good taste ... i'm warning you about this movie you're in"

Trebbers
ha bob

shalabi
lol

donnamartin
you're asleep while on the phone?

donnamartin
who hasn't said that?

kayke
oh no, I just realized my video is like an hour deep for some reason and I just watched ladies wrestle for 3 minutes

Trebbers
whaaat

jpeen
is the audio way outta sync for everyone else

Trebbers
Mine is fine

shalabi
the audio has a warble

Ampersand
wait whaaat

donnamartin
does it matter jpeen?

jpeen
so far, no

Ampersand
oh kayke it's probably because you previewed the video earlier

Ampersand
i'd suggest refreshing
kayke left the room
kayke entered the room

kayke
yeah that fixed it

Trebbers
Amateur Bono

Ampersand
hooray

donnamartin
this dancing is

donnamartin
....

Trebbers
She looks sea sick

donnamartin
pioneering upskirt/upshirt POV

donnamartin
i'm sea sick

Ampersand
her dancing is like when i lift my cat onto her hindlegs and say look she's dancing

donnamartin
lol

kayke
hahaha

poperblast4
v accurate

Trebbers
"that"

Bob511
I guess it's a good thing she's named Melody, and not Rhythm.

jpeen
o i c, it's cuz I'm chromecasting it

donnamartin
lol bob

jpeen
looks ok on the tv

jpeen
thank goodness

donnamartin
i can blow it up at any moment

donnamartin
wait, is he just turning on his own threesome porno?

Trebbers
"I've got the Merv Griffin show wired"

dan
jaja

Ampersand
lol treb

dan
a bath?

donnamartin
she's surprised by everything

Bob511
"And now, lift the toilet seat."

donnamartin
this will not end well for her

jpeen
just can't bambozle floozies anymore like you could in the 80s

poperblast4
KEPTIN! THE WHOLE PLACE IS VIRED!

shalabi
Cexy?

Trebbers
This set back the cause of home automation 35 years

Ampersand
C. E. C. S

Ampersand
sexy

dan
whoa whoa whoa

donnamartin
i'm going to die

donnamartin
i'm dead

poperblast4
oh my god

donnamartin
oh i really wanted keyboard cat to come on

Ampersand
SEXY, give me romantic sandwich

Bob511
"Sexy, irrigate my almond orchards."

jpeen
ERROR - CREEP LEVELS TOO HIGH IN CURRENT ROOM FOR ROMANCE MODE

donnamartin
his hair seems crunchy

donnamartin
wut. wut is this

El
Cexy is jealous

Bob511
Wait, is this a movie, or just Night Trap outtakes?

shalabi
sounds like a Korg synth demo

donnamartin
ohhhhhhh, i want Cexy to murder everyone

poperblast4
rarely, at the age of 33, do i say i'm not drunk enough for one of these ... but by god i'm not drunk enough for this

Ampersand
time to get there, my friend

poperblast4
i'm workin' on it

shalabi
never too late

donnamartin
i know i say this in basically ever movie. but i really want cexy to murder everyone.

poperblast4
i like to imagine this was released to theaters with the TCR ticker

dan
Cexy's Midnight Murders

Bob511
I like the mounted Roomba on the wall.

Trebbers
there it is

Bob511
Like, big game robot vacuum trophy.

shalabi
"sexy, open the sexy door"

donnamartin
Cexy's midnight murder on your free weekend of Skinimax

dan
Bono Zorro?

Trebbers
Bono Zone

dan
oh god

donnamartin
why does this dude have barbie's dream house sheets

donnamartin
lol

Trebbers
ahah

jpeen
. . .

Ampersand
lol

Bob511
"Hands free, bitch."

Ampersand
haha

shalabi
do they all have the same voice, or is it just me

kayke
she has xmen hair

donnamartin
yeah, can't take a woman seriously unless she has the kitten breathless voice of a 12 yo

donnamartin
ah yes, when women give each other friend massages

kayke
her tape is just a teddy ruxpin cassette

Bob511
::slowly lowers a bookshelf::

Ampersand
"turn the My Size Hair Straightener on, would you?"

El
First murder weapon is sunbed mark my words

poperblast4
final SEXYnation 3

Ampersand
lol

dan
they've found the absolute unsexiest lighting for a movie entirely about sex

Ampersand
*cat attacks her*

dan
heh

Bob511
That one sound effect keeps making me brace for a cut to Spock looking down into his science station viewer.

Trebbers
Sound effects are from a 50s PD record

donnamartin
is she orgasming in the tanning bed?

shalabi
that's not how tanning beds work?

donnamartin
you're going to the wrong tanning beds

dan
she's gonna come out with bronzed teeth

donnamartin
oh no

Ampersand
this is not how teeth whitening works either

Trebbers
what

kayke
sexy gives laser pointer orgasms? whay app is that?

donnamartin
ssiiiiiiiiiiigh

donnamartin
oh fuck

shalabi
woah

poperblast4
oh fuck

Trebbers
what the fuck

donnamartin
wait you can explode through your mouth from your nipple?

dan
so if you get them too hot they pop? you learn something new every day...

shalabi
she was a witch all along

poperblast4
S.E.X.Y. wins. fatality.

Bob511
Goddamn it, Alexa.

poperblast4
more like a SEXA

shalabi
Hey Siri, flush corpse

donnamartin
who is this woman?

donnamartin
oh bed lady

dan
might want to spray some Scrubbing Bubbles in there while you're at it Secsi

Trebbers
Love that C.E.X.Y. makes cash register sounds

kayke
now this is a lady voice I can get behind

Ampersand
he likes his coffee likes he likes his women: beeping and booping

donnamartin
how was she interesting? serious question

donnamartin
new phone who dis?

Trebbers
Eventually, we'll find out the groupie's song was called "I Hate Hot Water"

Bob511
Some admirably direct late-night chat advertising.

donnamartin
lol

kayke
oh good, I was worried we wouldn't get to see the blinking lights in this scene

poperblast4
lol

dan
he's slowly tanning his way into becoming Tom Jones

donnamartin
what does this guy have going on that everyone's on his D?

Bob511
What? Is it unusual, to be loved by everyone?

Trebbers
ahah

dan
:D

donnamartin
lol bob

jpeen
hahaaha bob

poperblast4
solid work bob.

Ampersand
excellent

poperblast4
What is happening here?
Something's going on that's not quite clear.

donnamartin
he keeps saying she's special and interesting

Bob511
Petting his chest hair like a housecat.

donnamartin
those words don't mean what the thinks they mean

dan
jesus dude, get a Swiffer

poperblast4
well she was, and then she died.

Ampersand
"Jane, wanna help me sniff this?"

Ampersand
could it be that the old Boner is softening

donnamartin
oh can't wait til he dies

jpeen
unfortunately he'll probably be last to go

donnamartin
oh right but as long as he dies, i'm happy

dan
he's watching that porno that Grandpa Chewbacca was watching in the Star Wars Holiday Special

donnamartin
hmmm, let me solve this mystery by watching naked gymnastics

Ampersand
lol dan

donnamartin
i truly do not understand the dynamics here

donnamartin
ghostbusters

Bob511
That sweatshirt.

kayke
he changed into something exotic

donnamartin
i've seen pornos with more plot

jpeen
was just going to say

jpeen
I think amp ran out of real movies and is just editing the sex scenes out of pornos now

kayke
lol

Ampersand
i would never censor art

donnamartin
this ... doesn't feel like susan wnats to be there

dan
just start pumping in the gas now C.E.X.Y.

Trebbers
wha

donnamartin
the song is killing me

kayke
ooooh yeaaaaah

Bob511
Is this...digital sex?

Trebbers
ahahah

donnamartin
bob

Ampersand
amazing bob

poperblast4
this is like a demented Louis b-side

donnamartin
she's going to get a cold from this

dan
"maybe chomp my nails down while you're at it, they're getting a bit long."

donnamartin
so 35 min in, what is the plot?

jpeen
we seem to be learning a lot more about the contours of tom's sexual neurosese than the murderous urges of his robot

Ampersand
this film is working pro Bono

donnamartin
which is a bummer. i want the latter

donnamartin
lol amp

kayke
hahah

donnamartin
ah yes, the plot twist no one saw coming

shalabi
more "plot"

donnamartin
well, we just learned tom's turn ons include bubble baths

Ampersand
this is the clean version of this sex scene

donnamartin
and UTIs

kayke
I thought she had to pee, was that a sauna?

jpeen
pee sauna

Trebbers
That sauna smells terrible now

jpeen
rich people have those

dan
instead of dumping water on the rocks...

kayke
oh true

donnamartin
death by sonacare

jpeen
oh no

El
What the

Ampersand
the fuck

Ampersand
that is not her toothbrusg

Trebbers
yeah

El
Just usin someone’s toothbrush like that

kayke
this is the worst thing in the movie so far

donnamartin
can we talk about how no one's makeup is melted by saunas or showers?

jpeen
there is literally nothing in this home that's not actually a sex toy

donnamartin
....

Ampersand
a regular mud mouth she was

donnamartin
how did that....happen?

Ampersand
well see that's what happens when you don't rinse the electric tooth brush heads

jpeen
didn't your mom ever tell you- if you brush too hard it'll fall off

shalabi
not sure i'm following the plot of this

donnamartin
ah yes, there's that butt shot

Trebbers
ahahhh

kayke
this movie works on the idea that computers have the power to make ANYthing very very hot

shalabi
woah

donnamartin
oh my god

Bob511
Who turned on the garbage disposal in the jacuzzi?

donnamartin
let's drink and not call the cops

jpeen
wait she literally just handled the dismembered body and he's still gaslighting her?

dan
sounds like someone is trying to avoid the Whammy in the background

jpeen
haha

poperblast4
omg dan

kayke
another good shirt though

shalabi
hehe

poperblast4
honestly i've never been more mad i didn't think of a joke more than that fucking whammy joke
Jongleur entered the room

poperblast4
okay, bono, i'm leaving ... with or without you

dan
heh

Jongleur
bono: the early years

donnamartin
hello dave

Bob511
"Did you try Picking Up the door knob first?"

donnamartin
i'm in agony. please find me another groupie.

Ampersand
us too, Bono, us too

Jongleur
Darlenne Fluegel not looking so hot in this one

donnamartin
who the fuck names themslves tigger?

dan
"The...Hundred..Acre..Wood"

donnamartin
Yes, my name is See n Say, Tigger.

kayke
lol

Bob511
"Tigger, give the phone to Professor Hawking."

jpeen
tigger, the off-brand twiggy

donnamartin
oh good job sherlock

Jongleur
what

poperblast4
"well, you see, the wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers are wonderful things"

Bob511
Well, I wouldn't go that far, Bono.

Jongleur
Sexy computer

donnamartin
i mean, tigger was pretty robotic in her dancing

donnamartin
why male models?

jpeen
the computer you built? I don't think so

dan
Bono: "Oh no!"

Jongleur
Bono Zorro?

dan
yes. that actually is the name as far as we can tell

Jongleur
cant believe i missed the first forty five

donnamartin
zoinks

Jongleur
Bono is way too chill about this whole thing

dan
you missed about 4 showers and 2 baths and some stripping

Bob511
There was a huge uproar when Lenovo removed that electric shock key from the ThinkPad keyboards.

shalabi
then apple claimed they invented it!!!

shalabi
stupid iSheep

Jongleur
Looks by Tim Curry, clothes by Berlusconi, dub by Gielgud

donnamartin
everyone's getting murdered but let's fuck

poperblast4
"listen, bono: you’ve got to get yourself together. you’ve got yourself stuck in a torment, and you can’t get out of it. "

donnamartin
ewwww

Jongleur
Gotta have a drink before that!

donnamartin
ewwwwwwww

Jongleur
incapacitated........ bit

Ampersand
this whole movie is a fucking Turing test, and we all lose

Jongleur
This couldn't get more Italian.

poperblast4
accurate.

jpeen
wow S.E.Ch.-Z's developed the ability to edit avant-garde films

dan
SWEAR TO ME

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
i've had a lot to drink. but i don't think that explains this plot

Jongleur
Weird foreplay tbh

Jongleur
did he have a stroke at some point in the film?

jpeen
have we tried,,,,somewhere?

Bob511
Confirmed: a garage full of junk.

donnamartin
the time counter gives this a real Paranormal Activity feel

Jongleur
Tai Lopez's Smart House

Jongleur
yeah timestamps make this feel like security footage of a home invasion

Bob511
We've just forgotten about the two bloody hands, then.

poperblast4
WELCOME TO S.E.X.Y. HOUSE

Jongleur
Priorities

Jongleur
jesus christ his eyelids

dan
this is basically the worst Leisure Suit Larry game ever made

Trebbers
yes

Jongleur
he has oysters for eyes

kayke
no more showers, movie

dan
so this our what, 5th shower?

donnamartin
yes, good time for this

jpeen
well it's been 45 minutes. time for another shower

Jongleur
the house was always in it for the canz

donnamartin
again, how does this shower not mess up her makeup

Jongleur
let me just listen to this dialtone a little longer

shalabi
s.e.x.y. probably just needs a heatsink or liquid cooling

poperblast4
HOW DO YOU SAY I MISS YOU. TO AN ANSWERING MACHINE.

Bob511
Ha

Ampersand
everybody in this movie is filthy, so i understand all of the showering

Jongleur
Bono's blood is 78% patchouli

Bob511
It would be nice if phone service messages were that reassuring.

Bob511
"The number you have dialed is no longer in service, but everything will work out in the end."

poperblast4
it's hard to describe ... but in the shower ... i found the edge

Bob511
Axe?

kayke
"ax"

Ampersand
AX???

poperblast4
what.

dan
hey, leave lady Golddust out of this!

Jongleur
the dangers of wifi

donnamartin
the computer has transfiguration properties?

Bob511
::goes to take a shower::

Ampersand
lol

Trebbers
"Time for a shower"

kayke
lol

shalabi
check the tcp/ip settings

jpeen
no that's just bono's normal condition, all women are indistinguishable to him

Jongleur
did you flush the dns cache bono

Jongleur
Computer Canz

donnamartin
let's...fuck???

poperblast4
tfw bono fails to optimize the tables

kayke
part star trek alien, part bjork.... 100% my type

Jongleur
this was all a cautionary tale about the dangers of internet pornography

kayke
important belt

Trebbers
Really should have went full perv and installed a peephole in the bathroom door

shalabi
someone turn off that fucking theramin

dan
theremin-tercourse

donnamartin
good god this man is dumb

Ampersand
it's a twosie, but the belt could make it a onesie

Bob511
Aha dan

Trebbers
ahah

Trebbers
Caught an STD from his own bed

donnamartin
sincere question: what is that belt doing

Jongleur
she was really insistent upon wearing that belt

donnamartin
it looks like a weight belt

Ampersand
it's in case she needs to do any heavy lifting

Jongleur
is that a dinosaur print? tite

jpeen
she has an incredible eye for hidden golf clubs

Jongleur
no need for us to see what's happening

Ampersand
ahahahaha

Bob511
SEXY can drive cars now?

Jongleur
this got really literal very quickly

jpeen
they had to cut out the mid-door-prying-shower there for runtime

donnamartin
hmmm

El
Yea that cardboard box will protect u

donnamartin
there are some plot holes here

Ampersand
this is why you can't trust those keyless car starters
pretty_yeoman entered the room

Jongleur
that's not how you total a car

donnamartin
oh yeoman, where to start

pretty_yeoman
hi donnamartin!

Ampersand
yeoman there's a computer named SEXY and a man named Bono Zorro

Jongleur
WOT

Ampersand
that's all ye need know

jpeen
thankfully bono's instincts kicked in...screaming woman....restrain her arms

pretty_yeoman
thx

Bob511
Also, there's a shower.

pretty_yeoman
what is the shower's name?

donnamartin
no there are 15 showers

pretty_yeoman
!!!

dan
its hugging you right now

Jongleur
she could bust through the garage door with the car

donnamartin
shower has no name but it will kill you

kayke
sexy was a computer, bono was a zorro... can I make it any more obvious

donnamartin
lol

pretty_yeoman
heh

donnamartin
i thought bono died of bed syphillis

Jongleur
These people are very thorough about their murderous sex computer house

dan
this really is an adventure game

pretty_yeoman
a torch, best to just burn through all this junk rather than move it

dan
right down to the music

jpeen
wait is his name really zorro

Jongleur
i think the narrative is nonlinear donna

pretty_yeoman
that's not how you say bono

dan
which name is sillier and less likely: Bono or Zorro?

donnamartin
quick, take her weight belt

jpeen
it is in this house

pretty_yeoman
he ... smiled

pretty_yeoman
Bjork Cher!

Jongleur
my dream girl

dan
"It's a Beautiful Day"

poperblast4
S.E.X.Y.’s midnight cummers

Ampersand
hehe

pretty_yeoman
lol

donnamartin
bono is so surprised by everything

Jongleur
No Bad Days

Bob511
Bruce Bono is...The Incredible Hulk.

pretty_yeoman
this is ...

jpeen
ahaha

dan
this is what happens when you watch a porno and Sgt. Kabukiman right before you go to bed

Ampersand
beautiful memories

jpeen
that's the most wonderful memory that came to mind huh

donnamartin
like that this guy's final thoughts are all creep shots

Jongleur
Bono Zorro Dreams of Canz

Bob511
Loves lost, melted.

Jongleur
This was your life, Bono.

dan
lol

kayke
he's remembering stuff he wasn't there for

Ampersand
well he did film it all

donnamartin
so, if you get an Alexa, you only dream about porn shots?

pretty_yeoman
is the running counter readout part of the movie's schtick or is it like a happy accident of someone ripping it

donnamartin
no idea, don't ask questions

pretty_yeoman
Alexa, play the cheapest "Eyes Without A Face" money can buy

Ampersand
let's say both

poperblast4
*"desire" just plays over the rest of the whole fuckin movie*

Trebbers
Kinda sad I only thought of Death Shower the Shower that Peeps just now

pretty_yeoman
lol

Bob511
Heh

shalabi
did amp edit in all this porn

donnamartin
lol treb

poperblast4
Cumming to Stand Still

Jongleur
lovely frilly pillows for your bachelor fuckpad

Jongleur
hahaha

jpeen
ampersand is still trying to convince us he didn't painstakingly edit this with the VCR in his step-dad's basement so he could try to pass it off as a legitimate choice for his slumberparty

Ampersand
i've now been accused of editing out and editing in the porn

Jongleur
that masseuse spank

Ampersand
make up your minds

pretty_yeoman
embrace the pornadox, Amp

donnamartin
wait is this a jacob's ladder porno?

kayke
you edited it out to edit it back in at different points

Jongleur
jeez that's just like a typical night for an oversexed ape like Bono

Jongleur
strange response to waking up really

jpeen
that explaines alot kayke

donnamartin
oh my god

Jongleur
The Matrix (1999)

donnamartin
man, Cats god weird

pretty_yeoman
naw Cats is just about like it always was

jpeen
just trap all these guys in a computerized disgusting fantasy so they never leave home

jpeen
this is a pretty progressive future envisioned here tbh

donnamartin
oh there's mud wrestling nkow?

Bob511
I guess we caught up with kayke.

dan
ah, had to fit this in

Jongleur
just one cheesecake scene to another huh

poperblast4
oh my god

pretty_yeoman
Amp,

donnamartin
hey did the catholic church make this as a cautionary tale?

Ampersand
cement wrestling

kayke
hahah yeah this is when I was making those 'Glow' jokes

pretty_yeoman
lol

jpeen
this is DIEGETIC cheesecake

jpeen
it doesn't count for your MPAA rating

dan
I feel like I know this house better than I know my own

donnamartin
are they doing airplane?

jpeen
what beautiful dancers.

donnamartin
he gets crustier every shot

pretty_yeoman
those eyebags

Ampersand
the crowd goes wild

Jongleur
strangely lynchian

pretty_yeoman
lynchianly strange

Jongleur
yes

jpeen
he aged 25 years from making this fiml

Bob511
Saved by the belt.

donnamartin
lol

Ampersand
yessss

Jongleur
"Boy did I have a great time last night"

donnamartin
wait

dan
Kyle Maclachlan is hiding behind those curtains peeping

donnamartin
are they making cat noises?

poperblast4
WEREWOLF 39: AN URGE TO KILL

jpeen
"ok this is the scene where you're waking up dazed under the furniture....but make it a sexy daze will ya"

kayke
This is giving me an urge to maim... but I don't know if I feel like killing, ya know?

kayke
urge to wound

Jongleur
taking catfight a little too literally, but what can you expect from a compute rhouse

poperblast4
listen, baby ... it's even better than the real thing

Jongleur
Urge to Skeeze

Ampersand
she's one of those fainting goats

shalabi
lol

pretty_yeoman
pretty honest description of the patriarchy

jpeen
no, not the axe!

Trebbers
ahahh

donnamartin
oh my god

poperblast4
oh my god

Jongleur
hahaha

Jongleur
guys... sex and violence

Jongleur
get it

pretty_yeoman
good for S.E.X.Y. this happened before the days of wireless

poperblast4
lol

dan
still trying to figure out what happened with the toothbrush

jpeen
eughhhhhh

Jongleur
damn did somebody get melted?

donnamartin
yes

donnamartin
i think plaque killed her, dan

Trebbers
I guess the toothbrush burned out her jaw?

pretty_yeoman
"oh hey"

donnamartin
this guy is truly the worst

pretty_yeoman
this guy is all guys

Jongleur
Bono just accepts everything

kayke
Sia music videos are usually weird, but this one...

donnamartin
lol

dan
heh

poperblast4
and in the end, he's bringing S.E.X.Y. back

pretty_yeoman
yeah it's like if TOBACCO and Sia teamed up

Trebbers
hell yes

Jongleur
WHAT

Ampersand
hell yeah

donnamartin
oh man, quite the fetish she has

Bob511
"quack! quack!"

donnamartin
did she murder a cat or a guy?

donnamartin
or maybe a duck?

poperblast4
sounds like bono ... *sunglasses* is in the unforgettable fire

pretty_yeoman
a donald duck

donnamartin
i have a lot of questions i don't want answered

dan
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Grill Me

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
dan

pretty_yeoman
OOoooh black betty: Sally Ann Balaam

Jongleur
ending wrapped everything up good

poperblast4
i was working on a hold me pun the ENTIRE TIME

pretty_yeoman
dan, dammit

donnamartin
i'm so glad he died

shalabi
S.E.X.Y.D.I.D.I.W.A.T.C.H.T.H.I.S.

donnamartin
so rarely do i get my wish

Jongleur
She's got the urge to kill! sound of the summer

dan
2 movies in a row where I can't say I've seen anything quite like them

Ampersand
truly a Spectacular film

pretty_yeoman
SPECTACULAR indeed
Bob511 left the room

Ampersand
kinda loved this one, tbh

donnamartin
same

jpeen
you would
Trebbers left the room

Ampersand
i'm sick

Ampersand
see ya'll Thursday!

kayke
urge to own on blu ray
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:27 pm

oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: But you can call me "Gabe" if you like.
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Ampersand
 
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 7:44 pm

Ampersand wrote:oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: But you can call me "Gabe" if you like.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:11 pm

2 hours until showtime!
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Postby dan » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:31 pm

I believe this is one of my suggestions :twisted:
or should I say Image
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:32 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:47 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Posts: 9062
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:59 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:41 am

Code: Select all
YouTube: Ampersand started "I Am Gabriel"

dan
the 5 of us are getting assumed to heaven, everyone else is left behind

besoin
rapturous

besoin
Friday:13th

Trebbers
In the town of 2 Chronicles

Ampersand
that must be west coast time

besoin
john schneider the midwife

Trebbers
"Too much blood? Too much fiber"

dan
is this shot in high framerate?

Ampersand
too much blood in her. let's let her bleed a bit

besoin
you've done it now, bo

Trebbers
Wait did he say, 'oh god not the placenta'?
sideshowraheem entered the room

Ampersand
*Hobbits in a barrel slide out of her birth canal*

besoin
well that wasn't clear

besoin
haha

Trebbers
"You think we're going to loose our hospital license?"

besoin
can god do the things you could in the general lee

Trebbers
lose*

besoin
is this a korean drama

Bob511
"January 7 2002 - January 7 2002"

dan
you know things are rough when you can only afford the styrofoam tombstone

Bob511
Aha

Trebbers
Gabriel costume?

besoin
yeah, ominous

dan
finally a film about the forgotten men and women

besoin
finally, a movie shot by tubbs

Trebbers
What an entrance Dean Cain

dan
their house got arrested, that's gotta be tough

Ampersand
Office Locksmith

Ampersand
*Officer

Bob511
Repo'd tractor.

besoin
damn, they took the tata

sideshowraheem
spoiler

besoin
cricket

dan
10 years ago in 20 A.D.

Trebbers
Sax von Midow

Ampersand
Tad Cruise

dan
heh

besoin
is this the gabriel costume yet

Trebbers
This is the 3rd film we've done with an ellipsis in the title

Trebbers
1) Shattered... If Your Kid's On Drugs

Ampersand
I Am Here... Now

Trebbers
yes, and Hot Dog... The Movie

dan
we got some real Pop-Up Trivia here tonight

Trebbers
Pop-Up...Trivia

Bob511
"Thank god...you had your mat."

Trebbers
I don't like this kid rolling his eyes in the back of his head

besoin
oooh

Trebbers
Is this kid a yoga freak

Ampersand
"could have been really really bad. i might have gotten this shirt dirty digging a grave to roll your corpse into"

dan
and his mission is complete

Trebbers
"Only your house"

Bob511
"Seven days, and then I have to repo your daughter."

sideshowraheem
wait this guy is Sheriff Brody?

Trebbers
ahahhaha

Trebbers
Looks legit

sideshowraheem
is this Jaws 5?

dan
can we scrape together $5000 and hire Dean Cain for something?

Ampersand
that seems high

Ampersand
i feel like he'd work for a pair of pants that fit

Bob511
No last name, and no belly button.

Ampersand
Gabe Archangel

Trebbers
"You need to answer truthfully, or you WILL be evicted"

besoin
fair enough, gabe

sideshowraheem
Mr. Joe?

Trebbers
Kinda early in the script for this

dan
if this kid wasn't white he'd already be off to jail

besoin
he'd be dead of heatstroke

dan
true

dan
either that or Tad Cruz doesn't bother swerving

Trebbers
People are just ad libbing an end to this scene

besoin
oh no, the flag

sideshowraheem
God endorses air conditioning

besoin
only made it halfway to his man cave

Bob511
"No wonder junior didn't want to stick around."

besoin
off brand peanut butter

besoin
times are hard

Ampersand
really dreadful wall outlet and lightswitch placement in this porn house

dan
god magic is gonna wipe over it and turn it to Jiffy

Trebbers
ah

besoin
man, these strings

besoin
i don't know WHAT to feel

Ampersand
"don't let me catch chad hanging around here anymore"

Bob511
"Look, I'll let it slide this time, but I need to repo something small, like that flower pot.'

Ampersand
wtf is that in the middle of their table

Ampersand
my feemous pbj

Trebbers
"I thought it was Peanut Butter and Jesus"

besoin
ooh, consumption

Bob511
"Peanut? Peanut butter? And jelly?"

Ampersand
he ate one of them pb&js

Ampersand
Welcome to The Lock-In

dan
this town had 3 businesses? seems pretty good for 2012

besoin
take your hat off inside, george

besoin
is this the gabriel costume

dan
these old bones need a vitamin water

Trebbers
What's going on here

besoin
here's the town democrat

dan
a 9th plotline

Ampersand
haha

sideshowraheem
I'm not sure what has more characters, this movie or tweets now!

Ampersand
damn she's poppin birth control pills like candy

besoin
why do they have a single bed

besoin
did a nun die in there

Ampersand
"no, i'm not an insane person"

Trebbers
This is serial killer talk

besoin
ask for favors, obv

besoin
this is an allegory for not doing away with the penny

Trebbers
"Oh lady, I also fuck that mat, too"

besoin
hence the copper mat that talks to god

dan
childseach.net

besoin
gabe's an entrepreneur

Bob511
"None of that papist claptrap, though. He tunes that right out."

Trebbers
Wait is this an infomercial for copper mats

dan
god should have planned ahead and made a few billion mats when he was making the earth

besoin
what is this event

Ampersand
"God has for you an exciting new business opportunity in multi-level marketing"

Trebbers
3rd act twist is Gabe insisting that all the mats face Mecca

besoin
heh

Ampersand
"Hi, I'm Tad"

besoin
well this is illegal

Trebbers
Ctrl-Fing "This town" in the script would crash your computer

Ampersand
he's more pants than man

Ampersand
Pantstor Ford

sideshowraheem
ahaha amp

Trebbers
ahh

dan
was the church repossessed?

sideshowraheem
a church being possessed once would be bad enough!

Ampersand
"this is my fiiiight song"

Trebbers
ahh

besoin
what's with the rocking chair

dan
putting her own song in as a fake hymn has to be a sin

sideshowraheem
this is her drug induced fantasy, in actuality she's just pounded the keys are everyone stares

besoin
hold onto your chromosomes, folks

Trebbers
oh no

sideshowraheem
uh oh

dan
so he just hangs on that bench all night?

Ampersand
this party sucks

besoin
what in hell is this event

dan
town pep rally

Ampersand
time to die

Trebbers
Revival/No Holds Barred MMA fights

besoin
cameron's off to austin

besoin
oh yeah, the rain subplot

Trebbers
ahahhahh

Bob511
Oh no, someone repo'd the top of a fire hydrant.

dan
"My god, its raining Fiji"

besoin
too bad it's not raining on the left side of the screen

dan
*orgy breaks out*

besoin
this is really frustrating my narrative expectations

besoin
god giveth, god taketh away

Ampersand
damn Gabe's her dealer

dan
shit

besoin
what on earth is happening

Ampersand
Cause of death: loose morals and liberalism

Bob511
"I dunno. I think they'll clean it up in editing."

Trebbers
Cut out the part where Gabe lunged an adrenaline needle into her heart

dan
"he's at least 3 boys, maybe even 4"

sideshowraheem
this is nonsensical even for a Christian thing

dan
if they think this kid is impressive wait until someone comes to town to teach them irrigation

sideshowraheem
well 5 minutes of rain should save the harvest

besoin
yes, please recap it for us

besoin
not very convincing cinematically

sideshowraheem
"I'm going to put her away for 30 years for Oxy possesion"

Ampersand
"believe me: i do like this robe"

besoin
they sure are credulous in promise

sideshowraheem
the fuck

besoin
every minute they don't show the gabe costume it grows more ominous

Trebbers
I think we've seen it

Bob511
No one has ever entertained the idea of not attending church in the history of Promise.

dan
gabe is gonna leave and Tad Cruz will start dressing like him

besoin
i think the cello is doing the heavy lifting in this movie

Ampersand
"God, why don't you stop making meatloaf?"

besoin
downtown promise

besoin
the dallas morning freedom

besoin
heavy kung fu vibe

dan
skeleton in back - "speak for yourself!"

Bob511
"Tow'n Off Promise"

besoin
if you've got a river...

Trebbers
Oh man the score

besoin
did she honeytrap him

besoin
"go over there and talk, it's completely safe"

dan
those BIG CITY doctors

besoin
whoa

Trebbers
.....

besoin
facebook

Trebbers
Beat him Dean

Ampersand
lol. the old standard

sideshowraheem
oh hell yea hsherriff

dan
"he did it for his own amusement"

Ampersand
atheists are only non-believers because a loved one died

Bob511
Not exactly a bad guess in Texas.

Ampersand
lol

Trebbers
I think that John Schneider is fucked up
This room will be temporarily closed for maitenance and will resume its work in about 12 minutes. Thanks for your patience.

besoin
whaa

dan
what the FUCK

Ampersand
whaaaaaat

Trebbers
the fucking fuck

sideshowraheem
wait what

Trebbers
INTERMISSION

Ampersand
extremely fucked

Bob511
We pushed God too far this time.

dan
lets all get down on our mats and pray and hopefully it'll stay up

besoin
what is this room's "work"

Trebbers
Makes me wonder about the other rooms

dan
I thought that NO NO NO was part of the song

Trebbers
YEah me too

sideshowraheem
it should be

Trebbers
ahahhahhha

besoin
hey man nice shot

Trebbers
wha

sideshowraheem
did he unsucessfully shoot himself?

besoin
a godless nissan

Trebbers
Those eyebrows are outtacontrol

sideshowraheem
his forehead is gonna fly away

Ampersand
if this room goes down, i might post a link to another in the thread? i'm not sure if it's just our room or all TC rooms

Trebbers
worth a shot

dan
"can't wait to see God's upcoming Fall schedule"

Trebbers
Maybe just list a resume time if the other room thing doesn't work

sideshowraheem
God doesn't seem to understand economics

besoin
hey wesley

Trebbers
But seriously it's been about six minutes since they said it'd be closed for 12 minutes

besoin
what

Ampersand
yeah, there was a delay when this happened before, but not one this long

besoin
you were playing a damned keyboard at the town meeting

besoin
if only church was that short

Ampersand
prayer mats? is that a yoga thing?

besoin
gabe is going to make promise the prayer mat capital of the world and save the town

besoin
what are the men up to? brandy and cigars?

Ampersand
lol

dan
first prayer mats, then survivalist food mega-packs

besoin
"say my name, promise"

dan
seems like church should kind of cover this

dan
Dallas Morning Frito

Trebbers
John Schneider's Snyder's Pretzels

besoin
getting a triangulation here...dallas...denton

besoin
promise is plano

sideshowraheem
the twist is Gabe escaped from the Stranger Things lab

Trebbers
Wrong fucking colors you heathens

Trebbers left the room
You were reconnected the room
besoin entered the room
sideshowraheem entered the room

besoin
gabe resurrected me

Ampersand
we live
Bob511 entered the room

dan
sweet, we can down all the pills we want now
YouTube: Ampersand started "I Am Gabriel"

dan
whoa whoa

Ampersand
jeez

Ampersand
okay

Ampersand
all good?

besoin
didn't make the movie make any less sense

dan
previously on: I am Gabriel

besoin
yeah, we get to see this A+ acting from bo duke again
Trebbers entered the room

besoin
i think this girl is on the goofballs

besoin
combining these leggings with that dress

dan
she's 12, you don't have to praise her for walking up a single step

besoin
the godly people at merck

dan
forsaken by god? there's a Visine for that.

besoin
lucy see

besoin
maybe it was the drops

besoin
gabesplained

sideshowraheem
if they were Drops of Jupiter that would be blasphemous

besoin
do not cross this bridge

dan
"now pay the toll or leave"

Trebbers
woah

Ampersand
that ain't me man, that ain't me

sideshowraheem
the most unrealistic part of this is an atheist sherriff in rural Texas

besoin
he, uh, didn't take the mat

sideshowraheem
these people are truly shitty Christians if they can't make the jump from "Gabe"

besoin
haha

besoin
that one wasn't real?

dan
whatever happened to the husband who just ran off into the woods after failing to shoot himself?

Trebbers
Still running

besoin
he's the hitchcockian blot

dan
Pray it Forward

Trebbers
*Gabe pulls out gun, enters school*

Ampersand
*doves fly into frame, John Woo shootout with Sheriff*

Ampersand
lol

Trebbers
here we go

besoin
i thought his name was jeff

Ampersand
in-frame sniff

Trebbers
Oh, I thought he was gonna run him down

besoin
chad has a 92 vette

besoin
must be doing okay

sideshowraheem
the climax of this movie should have been Sheriff Brody trying to arrest God

besoin
hm

Ampersand
let drunks be

Ampersand
this is god's command

besoin
oof, right in the buns

Bob511
Promise is never going to compete with LA car chases with that attitude.

Ampersand
he's gotta bloody ass

dan
just as god willed

Trebbers
Sheriff is nowhere in sight

Trebbers
"Help me" *snaps neck*

besoin
you saw that with your own eyes, frank pierce

dan
by broken bad, he meant he looked like Dean Norris

besoin
heh

sideshowraheem
"it was amazing, God healed my broken ass"

Trebbers
ahah

dan
Holy Sacred Cross of Jesus our God Hospital

besoin
no harm no foul i guess on the evading arrest, dui, gunshots, etc

sideshowraheem
is he letting the Dr. Die because he can just heal everyone now?

Trebbers
Maybe this town doesn't have a jail

besoin
repo'd

Bob511
Heh

besoin
aren't these kids a little old for this

Ampersand
kids, head for the nearest exits

dan
lol

besoin
i can't believe that the "gabe costume" that necessitated a special credit really is just this

sideshowraheem
"I just wanted to tell them they need to stop reading Harry Potter and start handling snakes if they want to go to heaven"

dan
still have a glimmer of hope for some kind of Gabe kaiju battle suit for the final fight with the Devil

besoin
wesley back there just motionless

besoin
these atheists

besoin
*grimace*

besoin
probably should have tried prayer before he died

besoin
that bridge is just randomly at the edge of the lawn
Trebbers left the room
Trebbers entered the room

besoin
oof

Trebbers
What

dan
well now they'll finally have a river for the bridge

Bob511
"No...that's Frank Underwood's urine."

besoin
script is flipped, pal

besoin
steve jobs tried to fight his pancreatic cancer with good thoughts too

sideshowraheem
"you also wonder, why do I have basically the same name as a famously bad 19th century president"

besoin
dean cain doing some thinking in the butter room

Ampersand
the greatest gift... blood of non-believers

besoin
what on earth

Trebbers
what

dan
he has the mark of Cain

Ampersand
heh

sideshowraheem
well I was praying in my office late one night, when my eyes beheld a blessed sight

dan
LOOK WHAT YA DID YOU LITTLE JERK

besoin
sheer-if

dan
*god magic wipe brightens up flag hat*

besoin
there must be other towns in this county brody is responsible for

dan
Lindelof stole so much of this for Leftovers S2

Ampersand
l o l

Trebbers
ahah Echooooooooo

besoin
ohhh shhiittttt

dan
here it comes!

Trebbers
COSTUME TIEM

Trebbers
FUCK YESSSSSSS

Ampersand
ahahahaha

besoin
don't buy it, brody

besoin
another one of his tricks

sideshowraheem
...Byrne in End of Days, I'm actually the Devil

dan
"now, who wants white meat and who wants dark?"

besoin
a few saves, a dead doctor, and an eighth inch of rain

Trebbers
Why couldn't he have crashed through the window and flew off

besoin
*hands them AOL free trial cd*

Trebbers
"Please take off your clothes"

dan
lol besoin

Bob511
I assume she's pregnant now?

Trebbers
What were that couple upset about

besoin
def

Ampersand
90% chance of an etsy store link in the end credits

sideshowraheem
if this was all a scam to sell mats I would at least respect the hustle

besoin
removed his godless hat

Ampersand
Sheriff Mail Carrier

dan
damn Cain even looks like off-brand Justin Theroux

besoin
boom

Trebbers
The prayer mat man comes every morning and takes your used mat and leaves you a new one

Ampersand
god is always healing wombs that he closed up

Ampersand
it's a biblical tradition

dan
directed by Chuck Norris' son

dan
wanted to save that till the end

besoin
behind the scenes director

Ampersand
for real?

besoin
i assume the BTS is queued up

Trebbers
That's what 375,000 gets you

dan
imdb.com/name/nm0635869/?ref_=tt_ov_dr

Trebbers
yes

sideshowraheem
oh my god

dan
make sure to check his first credited acting role

Ampersand
wowee zowee

besoin
gavin casalegno

Ampersand
AmeriGeddon sounds promising

dan
A fictional depiction of a future wherein a globalist terrorist organization aligned with the United Nations to disable the United States' power grid and institutes Martial Law.

sideshowraheem
Pizza Skateboarder, sounds radical

besoin
thomas a. treml has like 9 credits in this

besoin
wow, mom's cafe is real

dan
can't wait to never eat there

Trebbers
Troy "Radio" Johnson

sideshowraheem
Troy "Radio" Johnson

Ampersand
Fuck you, Beasleys

sideshowraheem
lol treb

dan
oh fuck me Limbaugh tea??

Trebbers
That's what that tea was

sideshowraheem
RUSH LIMBAUGH

besoin
so many thanks

Trebbers
That tea was to cash in on Tea Party mania

dan
I had forgotten all about that

sideshowraheem
I assume it has his big fat face in a tricorner on the box

besoin
well that was horrible
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:16 am

oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: If you walk a mile in his shoes, God help you.
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Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:13 pm

Ampersand wrote:oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: If you walk a mile in his shoes, God help you.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 5:01 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: If you walk a mile in his shoes, God help you.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby dan » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:28 pm

This is really big one folks, the return of a Movie Series fan favorite
don't miss out!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:43 pm

about 2 hours until showtime!
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Postby Bob511 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:50 pm

Or starter pistol, as it were?

EDIT: Or maybe I'm guessing wrong, since both "full" uploads of the one I was thinking are pirate-movie-site fakeouts. :oops:
universe, you can't play the willfully ignorant, but partisan bleeding heart
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Location: Boynton Beach, FL

Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:36 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:51 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
User avatar
Ampersand
 
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Postby Shalabi » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:45 am

RIP Gramps
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:58 am

Shalabi:
died doing what he loved, getting into conflicts with everyone
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Postby important dentist » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:29 pm

i woke up this morning and realized that nobody in the movie metaphorically walks "in gramps' shoes," only literally, which makes it somehow more hilarious to me
"My foremost duty is to the board," Important Dentist countered. "I
cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:11 am

oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: "Alexa, what's on the docket for tonight?" "Some evening entertainment."
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:20 pm

Ampersand wrote:oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: "Alexa, what's on the docket for tonight?" "Some evening entertainment."
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:46 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:oh hey: we've got movie sign!

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: "Alexa, what's on the docket for tonight?" "Some evening entertainment."
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Postby dan » Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:33 pm

I'm not sure but this is sounding like another request of mine, a particularly ponderous one at that
expect God and some really self-righteous nerds to show up if so
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:14 pm

dan wrote:I'm not sure but this is sounding like another request of mine, a particularly ponderous one at that
expect God and some really self-righteous nerds to show up if so


Tonight's film is actually kiiiinda an old, rolling request from Bob511.
Also, definitely godless.

I'll add emphasis: an Evening Entertainment.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:46 pm

~1 hour until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:37 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:56 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Ampersand
 
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