HPN MOVIE SERIES, Thursdays & Sundays @ 2200 EST

The primary forum for general discussion of Hipinion.com

Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:53 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:34 am

wait, so, dan or treb, can you post the chat?
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:26 pm

ah, twas the old fucked board. thanks, treb!
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Postby dan » Sun Dec 03, 2017 2:38 pm

So did you ever manage to get a good copy of the chat? if not I have a glitched up one.
I did mange to get this at least
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Postby donna martin » Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:59 pm

so many times in my life when that gif will be useful.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:00 pm

Treb saved us a copy that I think is a little glitched up too. It's one big block of text. What does yours look like?
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:03 pm

Also I changed my mind about another 'foot flick so soon. There might be such a thing as TOO much foot.
Instead...

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: The missing Haim sister.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:02 pm

Ampersand wrote:Also I changed my mind about another 'foot flick so soon. There might be such a thing as TOO much foot.
Instead...

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: The missing Haim sister.
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Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 9:00 pm

~2 hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:35 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:50 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Posts: 9062
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:38 am

Code: Select all
YouTube: Ampersand started "Just One of the GIRLS- Full Movie (Transgender Genre)"

donnamartin
nice amp

besoin
is this just one of the guys with a twist

Bob511
Haim Saban presents Corey Haim.

Ampersand
a twist of haim

dan
heh

besoin
man, nicole eggert

shalabi
Eggs and Haim

kayke
he's the woman

besoin
they worked together so often

donnamartin
he's the haim to my biscuit

poperblast4
INT. louisville. former boarder holy lols is hard at work on his debut single.

donnamartin
he turns me on with his racist rants

kayke
my anxiety dreams are about mel gibson

Bob511
Kid cannot get bullied quickly enough.
pretty_yeoman entered the room

pretty_yeoman
.

besoin
that was molly parker i think

besoin
the mean cheerleader

Trebbers
ahahah

louchemouche
yeah

donnamartin
80s movie's staple: the throwback greaser

Ampersand
fetus, beatus

donnamartin
fetus seems a little academic for these guys

pretty_yeoman
is that a CGI young Ray Liotta

kayke
denim vest over leather jacket is a look

Bob511
Whoa, that was Carl Newman's old band front and center in the store, wasn't it?
sideshowraheem left the room
sideshowraheem entered the room

Trebbers
What, superconductor? Or Zumpano?

besoin
this noodly soundtrack

kayke
saved by the babes

Ampersand
wait, TWO fetuses?? they're twins??

Bob511
Was there a Zumpano album in there too?

Trebbers
I missed it

Bob511
But yeah, Superconductor.

Ampersand
give me time, chris

donnamartin
i have...questions about dad's hair

pretty_yeoman
dad has like a second hairdo behind him

Trebbers
Yeah

Ampersand
maybe he took Chris's

besoin
i don't like how he treats his sister
E left the room

donnamartin
well, whoever wished for him to get bullied has gotten their wish

pretty_yeoman
is college bullying a ... thing?

besoin
he's in high school, right?
jpeen left the room

Trebbers
This shit is a straight up felony though

besoin
it's okay to do crimes on teenagers

besoin
boys will be boys

Ampersand
damn his car's paint got on his face

dan
I feel like doing town-wide bullying would eat up a lot of the bully's time

donnamartin
yeah, though apparently grown men are bullying high schooler

dan
Haim was 22 when this was made

donnamartin
jesus these guys are everywher

besoin
he flipped up his dwayne waynes

Trebbers
ha

besoin
park it yourself, metallica breath

Trebbers
Wait srsly

besoin
canadian alert

kayke
Oh my gosh so this is the plot

besoin
"chris"

Ampersand
girl clothes are bully repellent

pretty_yeoman
a lot of good dad's second brain is doing him

Trebbers
ah

Trebbers
The brain of an absorbed twin

donnamartin
ahahaha, son, i htought this was about boners

Bob511
Real Men Recycle

besoin
hm, was this made in canada

donnamartin
i thought we were past bullies

besoin
hearin' a lot of canadians

pretty_yeoman
it's not that it's NOT about boners

donnamartin
wait, son, are ou john conner

Trebbers
real men tie up a bag by twisting it around

Ampersand
damn, in Canada they just throw out bags of chocolate milk

sideshowraheem
Haim is Canadian

Bob511
"Not wearing that outfit, you won't."

besoin
so is molly parker

pretty_yeoman
are we ignoring the fact that he already kind of fought the guy

donnamartin
dad just called you a pussy

dan
if your kid is getting beaten up outside his own house you might want to intervene, dad

besoin
now i realize this is vancouver

donnamartin
do all canandians have full boxing gear at home?

pretty_yeoman
what do you think boxing day is for?

Ampersand
lol

besoin
^

sideshowraheem
hockey equipment would be more realistic

kayke
lol

donnamartin
lol

sideshowraheem
very nice yeoman

besoin
flip em up

pretty_yeoman
donna get's like 94% cred

kayke
welcome back students and adult delinquents

donnamartin
this looks like an early 90s rayban commericial

besoin
that slide, heh

shalabi
he was sliding for like 15 seconds

Trebbers
Kick him in the face

dan
and this was for embarassing him in computer class?

Ampersand
"quick, can i borrow your dress?"

besoin
this is one ersatz ladybugs

kayke
"ma'am... may I steal your look?"

donnamartin
that is not herring bone

kayke
that's not herring - yes

besoin
yeah, you can't just call whatever you want herringbone

pretty_yeoman
ah, the Silverstone

Trebbers
A world where the police don't exist

pretty_yeoman
heyyyyy

donnamartin
wait, what did i miss? why is this happening?

Bob511
Because pretending to be a woman is the key to avoiding harassment by men.

besoin
yeah, guaranteed

kayke
lol bob

Ampersand
lol

dan
oh man

donnamartin
oh right, my fault

besoin
i see by the usps mailbox they want us to think this is the us

besoin
same tactic in to catch a yeti

Trebbers
Canadian mailbox in drag

sideshowraheem
whoever mad this saw Soul Man and said "I want to make something marginally less offensive"

pretty_yeoman
hopefully the movie anticipates bob's argument and kiddo gets sexually harrassed by the bullies

donnamartin
wait, might happen sooner

besoin
finally the police

donnamartin
fuck the police

sideshowraheem
jesus

donnamartin
LOL

dan
ask for his badge number

besoin
what fun

pretty_yeoman
*snaps* / *sashays*

kayke
what an accepting woman

donnamartin
ahahah

besoin
nothing gets by mrs. welch

kayke
best character

pretty_yeoman
Canada: the land of progressive grandmas

donnamartin
i want this movie to be about her

dan
*group of even older, female bullies guards front door*

besoin
heh

Ampersand
heh

poperblast4
lol

pretty_yeoman
aha dan

donnamartin
so, he doesn't think he'll get more bullied when they figure out he's in drag?

Trebbers
Is there a toll to get past these stairs

besoin
"yo, high tits"

Trebbers
hah

Trebbers
He's never seen the inside of this school

dan
FRESH!

shalabi
don't interrupt me

Bob511
Man, the hairlines on these bullies.

shalabi
oops

shalabi
wrong window

donnamartin
persistance is the key to a woman's heart

besoin
why are the bathrooms locked

kayke
he needs to work on his voice if he really wants to be serving fish

pretty_yeoman
is he going to crush on that teacher?

pretty_yeoman
not ... not this teacher

besoin
there will be some kind of sex scene with her

besoin
like he'll see her in the locker room

Bob511
Fuck you, movie.

Ampersand
Broken Social Scene's first recording session

sideshowraheem
these are the most annoying kids ever

pretty_yeoman
the number one rule of teaching is "don't wank" yet here we are

besoin
not my tempo

Trebbers
"Welcome to the Guitar Center management training program"

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

louchemouche
movie shreds

donnamartin
you rang?

Ampersand
lol besoin

pretty_yeoman
he's not doing those drum comedy fills right

besoin
nice

pretty_yeoman
is he gonna get woke

Ampersand
hey it's Betty's dad

Trebbers
How much of this is going to be in this bathroom

kayke
that's such a good wig

besoin
is riverdale any good amp

kayke
it's so good

Ampersand
yeah it's the best

besoin
might have to try it

Ampersand
it's better if you're an OG Archie fan, but it's loads of fun regardless

besoin
has nicole eggert publicly repudiated scott baio

kayke
hahah shitting on a school having a music program

kayke
what a different time

Bob511
Intense Number Munchers LAN party.

dan
some real intense Reader Rabbit playing going on

Bob511
Ha

besoin
+1 +1

dan
:)

sideshowraheem
computers could do anything back then

pretty_yeoman
wtf?

pretty_yeoman
"... trust me."

sideshowraheem
mop the showers?

donnamartin
loving those boots

besoin
er

donnamartin
oh sigh

besoin
ah, underage girls

sideshowraheem
didn't realize there was gonna be nudity in this

pretty_yeoman
*sasquatch moan*

donnamartin
you didn't realize an 80s teen comedy would have nudity?

Trebbers
This is brazen

Ampersand
"they.. do hang low"

besoin
rehrehroooo

shalabi
this has to be illegal

dan
lol yeoman

besoin
this is from 1993, but 80s nonetheless

donnamartin
it feels very 80s

Ampersand
mop in bucket, train into tunnel

kayke
I'm concerned about some of these tan lines

Trebbers
The fretless bass patch is helping the 80sness

pretty_yeoman
this is like monty python level ridic

besoin
this sure is gratuitous

dan
I never saw Just one of the Guys, was there a scene where the crossdressing girl just gets ensconced with a bunch of dongs?

besoin
no, there's just one shot of her "proving" she's a girl

Ampersand
"i was stuck in the middle with boobs"

kayke
lol

dan
you're telling me the camera in Just One of the Guys doesn't linger on cocks for 45 seconds?

besoin
what a world

Trebbers
100% there's going to drop the other f-bomb, right

Trebbers
they're

Bob511
Working on their trademark Toe Jam & Earl routine.

Trebbers
ahahahaha

besoin
heh

besoin
they're horrible

dan
*eyes pop out of head followed by car horn*

pretty_yeoman
"... state"

besoin
same wardrobe as rick in suburban sasquatch

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
the shoulder pads style was really working in his favor

Ampersand
don't keep Munchie in the fridge

besoin
they've been going to school together for years and he didn't know they were siblings

kayke
oh my gosh the best case scenario for this movie rn for me would be that this girl is into chicks and falls for girl-chris

Trebbers
Somefucking how it gets dumber

pretty_yeoman
...

dan
that line works every time I bet

besoin
NICE

donnamartin
ahahaha

louchemouche
and i want you to know!
louchemouche left the room

pretty_yeoman
odds on a gross-out scene where chris shows that dude his johnson to gross him out

kayke
hahahah

donnamartin
getting gross fast

donnamartin
then it's not a great relationship

Ampersand
i wish this really was a movie about Chris discovering his identity as a woman

Trebbers
FACE FOAM brand

pretty_yeoman
i am not convinced it's not but that ain't likely

kayke
shaving with tube socks on is my aesthetic

donnamartin
if this movie spent some time exploring sexual harassment and gender bias i'd be more on board

besoin
did we abandon the music plot

pretty_yeoman
he'd be seeing that if he was a boy too right?

dan
spot on with that Monty Python comparison earlier

pretty_yeoman
or does Coach Ms. Gym Teacher get an inappropriate crush on her?

pretty_yeoman
"grow up"

besoin
something sexual will definitely happen with the coach

dan
that's some quality bullying, I have to give them credit

besoin
my files

kayke
seduce Kurtis into being a better person

sideshowraheem
that's the cleanest dumpster in history

Bob511
Well, Canada.

donnamartin
it's the paper shred dumpster

besoin
did he call that kid squirt

pretty_yeoman
"ok you can press stop on the drum track"

dan
the other good outcome for this movie would be Chris succesfully undermining all the masculinity in this school

pretty_yeoman
lol that'd be sick

besoin
rob nowe

Ampersand
*eye twitch*

Bob511
Rob Louwe?

pretty_yeoman
bully finds out he's gay and that's cool

donnamartin
i mean, the rule is men are weak

pretty_yeoman
chris finds out (s)he's trans at that's cool

dan
PUMP UP THE JAMS

Ampersand
damn it feels good to be a girlster

pretty_yeoman
he even has sasquatch footstep sound fx

Trebbers
Would be fucking pissed as grey car guy

besoin
has jules not left this store

besoin
what a cool club

Bob511
I feel like this movie has some problematic ideas about gender.

donnamartin
i mean, it was 1993

donnamartin
so, seems decent by those standards?

pretty_yeoman
is this alanis singing

Trebbers
Drummer in the shitter

sideshowraheem
Alanis is in the film

Ampersand
Chris's comfort with being a girl is interesting

Ampersand
even if he sometimes is using it to be a perv

besoin
we didn't miss alanis yet did we?

sideshowraheem
I hope not

donnamartin
yes, it's tragic if she sleeps with someone else

pretty_yeoman
raheem -what-??!

donnamartin
can't sleep with her aft that

sideshowraheem
I was just looking at the wikipedia article

sideshowraheem
she's uncredited

pretty_yeoman
or chris and kurt fall in love as dudes

donnamartin
i just confirmed it with IMDB

sideshowraheem
just jack him off dude who cares

kayke
basically any ending but the ending we're going to get is the good ending

Ampersand
JUST main attractions?

Ampersand
so Chris is ready to fuck?

donnamartin
oh he's been DTF from minute one

donnamartin
just maybe not with kurt

pretty_yeoman
cue gay nightclub music?

sideshowraheem
Chris is conflicted because he's getting a raging boner

kayke
hahaha

pretty_yeoman
"not over this boner"

besoin
it's okay to say no

Ampersand
it didn't take much to drop the clutch and slip her into gear

pretty_yeoman
AMP

Trebbers
Turned into Crash so slowly I hardly notice

Trebbers
AMP

donnamartin
ahahaha, i gotta remember that line

sideshowraheem
jack off scene coming up

Ampersand
he tastes like leather and milk

Bob511
Classic cola mouthwash.

donnamartin
ew, what?

dan
so...he's gonna swap his left and right balls?

donnamartin
lol

donnamartin
don't you do that dan, every 3,000 fucks?

dan
no I do

besoin
you can go more than 3000 fucks

donnamartin
just switch them around, you know

besoin
don't listen to big lube

dan
I hate checking the oil tho

donnamartin
that's true

Ampersand
yeah like 7500 fucks at least

dan
need to get a thinner dipstick

besoin
chris has some leverage over this guy at this point

Ampersand
Corey Haim has nice legs

besoin
can probably reveal himself and get on with his music program

Bob511
I feel like this relationship could be a KitH sketch with Bruce playing both roles.

Ampersand
lol absolutely

pretty_yeoman
needs more orchestra hits

donnamartin
oh good this again

kayke
lesbian to lesbian

pretty_yeoman
yep

Ampersand
hehe

pretty_yeoman
*heavy breathing*

Ampersand
*heavy breathing*

besoin
they cleared that up for us

pretty_yeoman
ilu amp

Ampersand
fuck

Ampersand
*hug*

pretty_yeoman
ha

pretty_yeoman
the canadians are taking extra specific care to not pronounce "about" too obviously in this film

pretty_yeoman
it is cuuuuute

besoin
they're still getting sorry wrong

Ampersand
sowry

sideshowraheem
was that "out" Canadian? I can't tell

Ampersand
so damn swory

pretty_yeoman
borderline

besoin
i don't think they say aboot in BC

sideshowraheem
BC has a different dialect than the rest of the country

pretty_yeoman
BOOM

kayke
Oh no what a dingo

shalabi
lol

Trebbers
*pin drop*

besoin
i mean, he did do a crime

donnamartin
yes, it's reverse discrimination

sideshowraheem
reverse homophobia, straight people are the real minority

Ampersand
oh no

pretty_yeoman
the tinkly piano of a false confession

donnamartin
the musci

Trebbers
Confession Theme from Just One of the Girls

Ampersand
Pure Fetish

sideshowraheem
this is like Twin Peaks music

pretty_yeoman
earnest yet basically identical to Twin Peaks is such a strange place
Trebbers left the room

Ampersand
Pure Fetish, the 2-disc set, only 29.95 plus S&H
Trebbers entered the room

pretty_yeoman
;asldkalskdj;aldjks

pretty_yeoman
*heavy breathing*

shalabi
uhhh

Ampersand
it is a very good wig

besoin
so no

besoin
kurt should bully john

besoin
make himself useful

sideshowraheem
oh shit they got out the turntables for this hiding sequence

besoin
the cheesecake place

sideshowraheem
The Cheesecake Place

sideshowraheem
The Cheesecake Sweatshop

shalabi
The Cheesecake Warehouse

donnamartin
he actually secretly founded the cheesecake facgtory

besoin
The Cheesecake Atelier

Bob511
The Cheesecake Place, where We Americans dine.

kayke
Sending your parents on a cheese cake date. classic scheme.

besoin
i hope we don't get a rushing back and forth wig off wig on scene

Bob511
Blinded your dad with cheesecake(-induced diabetes)

Ampersand
damn, mom

donnamartin
i mean, moms righta

besoin
MAH-AHM

sideshowraheem
mom's on the ball

donnamartin
and wait what

sideshowraheem
good lord

shalabi
asjdfklsdj

pretty_yeoman
progressive moms and grandmas just all over the place

Ampersand
"ma, have i got a wig for you"

donnamartin
i have questinos

shalabi
16 year olds have 6 dicks

besoin
here we go

kayke
Man, I wish I had been a teen in Canada

Ampersand
"chris, you have a small friend"

besoin
the most cliche scene in history

sideshowraheem
pops hell yeah

pretty_yeoman
"can, ... can i ask you about your, second hairdo?"

donnamartin
why does mom have a supply of condoms in her cheesecake date clutch

Ampersand
Chris enters living room wrapped in a blanket like ET

shalabi
"have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

kayke
put on a towel

sideshowraheem
it's going to be a mrs doubtfire scenario

kayke
like a robe and a head towel is genderless

Ampersand
oh HELLLLLOOOO

sideshowraheem
HELLOOOOOOO

Bob511
Heh

besoin
ahghhhdhd

kayke
perfect

pretty_yeoman
brilliant

shalabi
welp

donnamartin
omg raheems

kayke
he took my advice

sideshowraheem
oh god I was right

Ampersand
truly a teenage mastermind

besoin
heist music

Ampersand
mom wants Chris to fuck so bad

besoin
what the fuck dad

kayke
mom wants chris to fuck as much as chris wants his sister to fuck some college dudes

pretty_yeoman
janet! ... brad! ... dr. scott!

kayke
they're pro sex in this house

donnamartin
mom is thirsty, remembering how things were when dad had one hair style

Ampersand
isn't dad all about Chris being a man

kayke
real men don't fuck

kayke
in canada

donnamartin
real men wait, amp

besoin
gotta leave it all on the ice

pretty_yeoman
yeah this is how this is going

Ampersand
the knock and open

Ampersand
classic parent

besoin
huh

pretty_yeoman
. . .

donnamartin
ewwwww

Bob511
WTF

Ampersand
uh

pretty_yeoman
oh my GOD

shalabi
hmm

sideshowraheem
this is some great writing of women

sideshowraheem
very subtle

besoin
just missed its chance to pass the bechdel test

sideshowraheem
does Chris talking with her count as the bechdel test?

pretty_yeoman
*bops head*

Ampersand
no

Ampersand
not until Chris accepts herself

donnamartin
lol i thought you were noing at the splits

Ampersand
ooo! this is a Halloween movie

sideshowraheem
it's really about the costumes we all wear

kayke
I have to admit that I think Kurt forcing the nickname "chrissie" is kinda cute

sideshowraheem
very edgy hitler costume

Ampersand
lol

kayke
party on phantom

besoin
seems like you're playing with fire here, chris

pretty_yeoman
now kiss

donnamartin
playing fast and loose with the term "smart"

pretty_yeoman
(now chriss)

donnamartin
lol

kayke
I always take dating advice from masked strangers

Bob511
The Phantom didn't have the best history with relationships, did he?

besoin
nice pronoun avoidance there

pretty_yeoman
fuck yeah

kayke
hahah what was Chris's plan here?

kayke
make dad think he's gay?

besoin
haha

pretty_yeoman
Canada: progressive moms, conservative dads

Trebbers
The music is amazing

besoin
this music

kayke
kurt's theme

besoin
hah

donnamartin
zoinkes

pretty_yeoman
lol kayke

besoin
wasn't chris still at the party?

donnamartin
On a Very Special Just One of the Girls

pretty_yeoman
"i'd understand, but i ... wouldn't/"

kayke
why did dad lie about Chris not being home?

Ampersand
"it'd makea lot of sense, son"

besoin
knowing corey haim's history makes this extra problematic

pretty_yeoman
i think this is just 'later' this evening

donnamartin
agree, besoin

pretty_yeoman
yeah there are some kind of heartbreaking undertones

pretty_yeoman
GOD

kayke
cleaned his...

besoin
the administrators

sideshowraheem
because I'm fuckin this guy!

kayke
physical violence is not where dad steps in - gay stuff on the other hand?

donnamartin
this is... weird right?

pretty_yeoman
boy

besoin
did the mom step on an accordion

pretty_yeoman
LITERALLY guy stuff

Ampersand
guy on guy stuff

donnamartin
MOM IS THIRSTY

dan
the guy he goes to was personally recommended by Mike Pence

Ampersand
but why

Ampersand
dad is bad

pretty_yeoman
in real life dan?

besoin
maybe that's marie's

dan
nah just making a conversion therapy crack

Ampersand
i want my mtv

pretty_yeoman
phew that was gonna be too too grim

donnamartin
woah, gym teacher is not an ally

besoin
why is she forcing him to reveal himself to his parents

pretty_yeoman
their accents slipped

pretty_yeoman
proh-gress

kayke
the only real ally was the old lady at the bagel shop

sideshowraheem
what are you talking aboot

besoin
this bookstore has like 9 books

besoin
48 copies of each

Ampersand
they're all picture books

donnamartin
i would love that

pretty_yeoman
gonna make hella dough on late night infomercials

sideshowraheem
wow he's really going to make it as a 90s sitcom theme composer

kayke
I can see how he got into the music program, that doesn't sound like a broken video game at all

besoin
he'll abandon music when he finds out beekman's world was canceled

pretty_yeoman
lol

donnamartin
ahaha

besoin
if only those signs existed

sideshowraheem
the feminist agenda is keeping him down

kayke
is he gonna dress as a girl too?

besoin
sore-y

besoin
a poor man's dolly zoom

Trebbers
Dead

besoin
this must be serious

donnamartin
mom's pants

pretty_yeoman
those pants are serious

shalabi
those pants are outragous

donnamartin
lol

pretty_yeoman
sore-y!

donnamartin
i'm really shocked this didn't work out

Trebbers
whaaaaat

Ampersand
this is boring, let's forbidden dance

besoin
i miss lambada references

besoin
the world's worst latin music

pretty_yeoman
is there any real music in canada

Ampersand
100% chance of boner in the forecast

donnamartin
celine dion

shalabi
Casio Keyboard Latin Preset 2

sideshowraheem
he's at Camp Lambada

Trebbers
Low Rider lambada mix

besoin
this must have been really triggering for a lot of people

besoin
hope they didn't rent this video

pretty_yeoman
*shrug*

donnamartin
ah, love mom

sideshowraheem
"you're stacked as fuck son"

kayke
I want to be that mom

pretty_yeoman
mom's got genetically high breasts

besoin
god corey haim is tiny

pretty_yeoman
aw

donnamartin
dad is a douche

pretty_yeoman
you're making me wanna just hug the poor guy

besoin
down with dad

shalabi
BOW WOW, OHHHH YEAH

donnamartin
um

pretty_yeoman
YES

pretty_yeoman
that on the other hand is an ineffective wi

pretty_yeoman
g

pretty_yeoman
this movie is wild

besoin
great music cues

pretty_yeoman
kurts theme (alternate)

donnamartin
like, i hate this movie for gratuitous nudity, but love the insanity

donnamartin
?

donnamartin
lol yeoman

kayke
I wasn't ready to see Kurt become a better person and then get his heart broken

besoin
why was that dubbed

pretty_yeoman
does no one believe in bisexuals

pretty_yeoman
.gifworthy

besoin
these canadian record companies are really hard up

pretty_yeoman
yeah, call it Haim

besoin
is he talking funny

Bob511
Uh, she's seen him without his wig before...?

sideshowraheem
it was himself he was hiding from all along

sideshowraheem
or herself I guess?

besoin
this voiceover

donnamartin
apparently british labels are hard up

pretty_yeoman
love, "Rorissey"

kayke
lol

pretty_yeoman
*smells like teen spirit riff*

besoin
god, fuck off, dad

Trebbers
1992, the year punk broke in canada

Ampersand
dad needs to be wrecked

donnamartin
gonna be honest, dad's an asshole

pretty_yeoman
Narrowsmith

pretty_yeoman
man I hope Kurt isn't phased by the reveal

kayke
I want kurt to have a some like it hot ending

donnamartin
this is your fault, what with your short haicut and harem pants

pretty_yeoman
or is it 'fazed'?

kayke
gayzed and confused

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
built like a linepacker

pretty_yeoman
heh

Bob511
Corey Haim has bigger shoulders when dressed in drag.

donnamartin
well, shoulderpads bob

Bob511
Cheerleading shoulder pads?

donnamartin
awww, kirk

Trebbers
:(

besoin
the other cheerleaders filing police reports

donnamartin
come on man

Ampersand
"i'm a girl, not yet a woman"

dan
dammit amp

pretty_yeoman
omg Amp lol

donnamartin
thank you, amp

dan
I never noticed, is Haim's necklace a gold razorblade?

donnamartin
corey's all about that open demin

besoin
what if shania twain's man i feel like a woman plays over the credits

kayke
noooooo

pretty_yeoman
UNDERTONES, movie

sideshowraheem
"I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you chris"

Trebbers
Well, he has a point there

kayke
Kurt can't because they're in love

dan
Kurt's innocent in all this, except for the constant violent beatings and harassment and groping

kayke
Kurt has grown as a person

sideshowraheem
the bully side kicks are pretty canadian even I can see that

donnamartin
it's all them lady books

donnamartin
about feelings

pretty_yeoman
Canadian -and- 35

dan
oh and he robbed me too

Ampersand
one of the bully sidekicks is a cylon in BSG

pretty_yeoman
*goes for the punch, ends in a cheek caress*

kayke
Kurt please, you bought 65 bucks worth of books

besoin
yeah, gotta get them back to the stockroom at canadian tire

donnamartin
this ends like an episode of saved by the bell

pretty_yeoman
lol besoin

Trebbers
Oh yeah, AMP thats' where I recognized him from

Ampersand
the daughter mom never had

besoin
my mom used to make me try on skirts and stuff for my cousin

Bob511
Were his parents just going to stand there and watch someone beat him to a pulp?

besoin
i didn't make a movie about it

sideshowraheem
BSG was done in Vancouver too so that makes sense

donnamartin
well, dad thinks he deserves it

besoin
marie knows

besoin
why is nicole eggert the only one out of sync

donnamartin
that hair

pretty_yeoman
Linda Hamilton, Ontario

besoin
did she accidentally do th emovie in french or something

besoin
YES

besoin
mrs. welch

pretty_yeoman
FUCK YES

Bob511
This was his hair's first film, but it really broke big as the wave in The Day After Tomorrow.

Trebbers
ahha, their hardcore fan

donnamartin
looooove her

pretty_yeoman
did he say "Huron?"

besoin
naturally

donnamartin
bob lol

besoin
superior, sir

kayke
her heart has hardened and so has her hair

besoin
ALANIS

pretty_yeoman
lol

sideshowraheem
Alanis!

sideshowraheem
holy god

pretty_yeoman
this is real-world bizarre

dan
oh shit

donnamartin
Cut It Out

pretty_yeoman
donna,

besoin
i have poutine coming out of my pores

shalabi
great riff

donnamartin
i'm not sorry

pretty_yeoman
heh

sideshowraheem
RT if you remember the 90s

donnamartin
You Outta Know I'd do that

besoin
that's not even alanis's voice i don't think

sideshowraheem
I think it is

pretty_yeoman
One Hand In My Pocket (and the other one's filling out a police report)

besoin
i guess i hear it a bit

Bob511
Yeah, sounds like her to me.

donnamartin
oh this is how we're ending?

Trebbers
Slow motion like an 'In Memoriam' shot

besoin
lame

pretty_yeoman
yeah

shalabi
uhh

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

Ampersand
it's ironic, don't you think?

besoin
did he get the contract with jupiter records or not

shalabi
oh hm

kayke
I want to watch that corey haim self interview video, Amp

Ampersand
Me Myself & I

kayke
where he talks about dolphins

kayke
yeah
Bob511 left the room

shalabi
this new Burial track is sick
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:45 am

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Rocco and His Werewolves, Witches, and Cyclopes.
[/quote]
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:21 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Rocco and His Werewolves, Witches, and Cyclopes.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:10 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Rocco and His Werewolves, Witches, and Cyclopes.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:07 pm

~2 hours until showtime
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:38 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:51 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:34 am

Code: Select all
YouTube: Ampersand started "yahboy '83"

dan
already have questions

Ampersand
this is a jam
bob511 left the room

besoin
philippines?

donnamartin
promising credit graphics

Trebbers
Hey this is your boy, God

Ampersand
ding ding ding
jpeen entered the room

donnamartin
yesssss
bob511 entered the room

besoin
running start

pretty_yeoman
100% on board so far

donnamartin
oh no

pretty_yeoman
nevermind

donnamartin
already bad

besoin
the male god gaze

dan
is it my imagination or is she sleeping sideways

donnamartin
i didn't realize roy moore was an actor

Trebbers
Uh

Ampersand
this is a children's film, btw

donnamartin
that's why roy moore was in it

bob511
Is this "previously, on..." material?

donnamartin
what in the hell

Trebbers
Baby is half invisible

besoin
this is a prequel to an officer and a gentleman

Trebbers
"Keep it open" huh

donnamartin
congrats, it's a cat

Ampersand
good, now dump it in boiling water

Ampersand
whoops, too much

besoin
'atorch

bob511
Oh, shit, Herrod's here.

dan
The Cow King

Ampersand
A-Gorch

Trebbers
ahah

besoin
so calm

besoin
never considered isabello could be a name

bob511
Our Hero?

besoin
uh

donnamartin
did he use her as a shield?

dan
not really my kind of humor I guess

Ampersand
lol

besoin
....on....accident?

donnamartin
you had to be there, dan

dan
he really hates his shoulders

bob511
"Ugh! Ugh!"

besoin
is that a rhino

Trebbers
holy hsit

Ampersand
gack.... gack

besoin
the rye tway

donnamartin
this kid is p useless

besoin
kid's name is roku

Ampersand
lol

dan
very obscured goat sighing

bob511
How heavy was that kid, that he could lift it once he got out?

besoin
nice foley there

pretty_yeoman
oh a holiday film!

besoin
completely silent ox cart

pretty_yeoman
i dunno i don't think their leaving was peaceful at all

Trebbers
Peaceful except for the ghost rape

besoin
surely there are better uses of this kid's god powers

donnamartin
so glad they're recapping the last 10 min

bob511
When the scenes and the flashbacks are edited identically.

dan
kids that age are always curious about how to get killed

Ampersand
he looka like a man?

besoin
have they never heard parrots in the philippines

Trebbers
Half of the characters also sound like parrots

pretty_yeoman
they've never heard parrots wherever this flick got dubbed

donnamartin
this kid's proportions are freaking me out

dan
the Patty and Selma of the Philippines

pretty_yeoman
"in fact, we're leaving"

besoin
prince valiant here

bob511
"Other than that, it's a nice neighborhood."

besoin
what the hell

donnamartin
stop saying pussy cat

besoin
havoc in his poetry?

Trebbers
POOSYKAT

Ampersand
boozy cat

lhs
same hair as the kid, this must be his dad

donnamartin
feel like this movie is just testing out a lot of different plots

donnamartin
see what works

pretty_yeoman
how do you say Erik Estrada in Tagalog

donnamartin
woah, good job there macgyver

besoin
cheeps

dan
hmm, it's a radical theory but it may check out

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
worthless

besoin
uh

Trebbers
fx magic

pretty_yeoman
he's Ultra Luddite

dan
A Boy and his Log

besoin
why does he punch the top

donnamartin
i dunno why can't he afford full shorts

dan
so hard to imagine a child named "Rocco"

lhs
firewoodmaker punch

bob511
"Roco, don't look directly at the poor editing."

donnamartin
the parrot sounds like a gremlin

Ampersand
a gremlin being choked

Ampersand
Boy God fights water, loses

besoin
sounds like gonzo with emphysema

besoin
water is his kryptonite

pretty_yeoman
heh

Ampersand
the old adage: never get a rock wet

Trebbers
That boy aint right

dan
maybe his ghost dad was from the same place as the Signs aliens

donnamartin
talking is his kryptonite

Trebbers
Why a pudgy child for their superhuman/

besoin
he's just bulking before his cut

bob511
They spend a lot of time walking in the poison water.

donnamartin
i thought his dad was murdered?

pretty_yeoman
(in Tagalog conversations run temporally backward)

besoin
porous

bob511
"You're like a limestone god boy."

Trebbers
ahah

dan
aha

donnamartin
....what

pretty_yeoman
Rock- ... oh.

lhs
the water turns him into sand over thousands of years

besoin
now it's friday the 13th

bob511
Oh, she's that neighbor.

pretty_yeoman
lol

dan
cartman bird

bob511
Heh

Ampersand
lol

Trebbers
I've understood 2 words that parrot has said

donnamartin
more than me

besoin
gonzo on krokodil

Ampersand
YEA, NO PROB, BOSS

lhs
pretty sure it just said "goblin king"

donnamartin
this is a worst nightmare i didn't know could happen

besoin
live by the wicker, die by the wicker

donnamartin
fuuuuuck

Trebbers
holy

lhs
the parrot assumes its true form

Ampersand
lol

besoin
reh reh rooooo

donnamartin
seriously, this movie is just testing out a series of plots

pretty_yeoman
they're not even in series!

dan
maybe try an invisible fence

Trebbers
Makes me happy to imagine that parrot is still alive

Ampersand
werewolves just wanna stroke your hair

pretty_yeoman
how does a werewolf in the Philippines even know what a wol- ah nevermind

pretty_yeoman
he's got a Fred Savage thing going on

Ampersand
"a monster!"

donnamartin
well, his head is enormous

Ampersand
he's like Fred Savage + Hairspray-era Ricki Lake

dan
I think the haircut is adding a lot

pretty_yeoman
"Frida Kahlo!"

donnamartin
don't lick your lips

donnamartin
ewwww

Ampersand
i mean, witches gotta eat

besoin
he hhe he

Trebbers
aha

pretty_yeoman
thaaaat's why they cast him chubby

donnamartin
To Serve Boy

Ampersand
heh

besoin
thefirstborndeeldes

pretty_yeoman
first born and regretting it since 1956!

pretty_yeoman
house looks like Falkor

donnamartin
oh woah

besoin
they look like a window display at anthropologie

dan
Like a rock.......o

bob511
We're supposed to believe that no one has tried to run him over before now?

Ampersand
someone call a tailor, stat

donnamartin
also lol besoin

besoin
jesus hell what is going on here

bob511
"Meanwhile, at the Dharma Institute..."

donnamartin
do we have to run sonar tests right now?

Ampersand
hate when hair gets stuck to the chewing gum you've smeared on your face

bob511
I mean, he's not that small a boy.

donnamartin
i dunno, murdering the parrot seems like a good idea

pretty_yeoman
lol

Ampersand
Tiki, Tailor, Boygod, Spy

besoin
hehe

pretty_yeoman
heh

dan
IM COMIN ELIZABETH

besoin
the shingles hour

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
aha dan

bob511
Do you think they transform earlier or later if they travel?

besoin
masterful

bob511
Or does lycanthropy automatically change time zones?

besoin
the berenstain werewolf

Ampersand
Planet of the Apes in timelapse

dan
I feel bad for this actress if their wolf makeup is anything like their beard makeup

pretty_yeoman
meanwhile, at some other time of day

donnamartin
Why don't you ...hang around

Ampersand
petrified!

bob511
Imelda is brutal if a village doesn't make her shoe quota.

besoin
is the god impregnating her too?

jpeen
do the dance

besoin
sounds like twins

donnamartin
weekend at bernie's sequel much darker than i recall

besoin
WHAT IS HAPPENING

bob511
Odd time for the torch relay.

donnamartin
you should just sit back and let it wash over you

Ampersand
cats in the Philippines sound weird

dan
love the bat effect

besoin
was that garfield

dan
man it'd be so sick to make a rug out of this guy

donnamartin
wiat we got bats now?

donnamartin
i walk away for two seconds

Ampersand
Zach Snyder's Batman is v. dark

donnamartin
wow this bad fights as well as a grown man

bob511
R'as is kind of slumming it, taking over this village.

Ampersand
"your shoulders look full of tension, mr. vampire"

dan
and thus Batboy was born

bob511
What

donnamartin
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ampersand
he did a barrel roll

jpeen
lotta good it did, too

donnamartin
i love this movie

donnamartin
he did a barrel roll at warp speed

bob511
Roco the Hedgehog

besoin
when did roku get shoes

Ampersand
the vampire transforms back into a black plastic garbage bag and floats off into the night sky

donnamartin
it's the most beautiful thing

bob511
Gif that

Ampersand
i'm calling this a hate crime
pretty_yeoman left the room

bob511
Good advice, doc.

donnamartin
a hate crime against bats?

besoin
finally his haunches are covered
megajohn entered the room
megajohn left the room
megajohn entered the room

dan
I was hoping he wouldn't be able to get it off his head

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
aw fuck

Trebbers
haha

donnamartin
oh nice igloo

Ampersand
anything but water

Trebbers
what a dipshit

donnamartin
..... water

besoin
nice job rolling in there idiot

donnamartin
ew ew ew ew ew

donnamartin
nooooooooooo

besoin
uhhhh

Ampersand
ruh roh

Trebbers
bi

Trebbers
no

dan
to be fair the water hazard gets a lot of people

donnamartin
.....

Trebbers
That branch doing a lot of work

Ampersand
this little scrub can't even bathe

donnamartin
nice, dan

Ampersand
the perfect hero of the underclass

Ampersand
talking to a blender would be more productive

besoin
jesus

donnamartin
.......

Ampersand
no. none of this is necessary

donnamartin
so uh

Ampersand
strictly speaking

besoin
and thus, the jollybee chain was begun

Trebbers
ha

donnamartin
they're never going to get an even crispt this way

Trebbers
what the hell

donnamartin
maybe fewer creep shots?

donnamartin
yesss

donnamartin
we found where the wild things are

dan
haha

besoin
what did we just learn about the rolling

Ampersand
for anyone who has wondered what Hipinion Werewolf games are like, it's a lot like this

donnamartin
lol

besoin
of all the ills in the world, this is where god boy is focusing

Ampersand
werewolf cruising

dan
yesss

lhs
some nice bats

donnamartin
honeslty, not much difference between this and joel schumacher batman

besoin
does this vampire costume have the little butt flap

dan
not seeing as much nipple on this bat

bob511
He's like a dowsing rod.

Ampersand
sinks like a boy god

besoin
it's a shame the boy god lives on an archipelago

dan
white headband guy is their Gilligan
jpeenier left the room

donnamartin
so if he's a boy god or wahtever

donnamartin
how does this come into play with the plot

besoin
the rolling thing, duh

donnamartin
oh right

besoin
and the waves

besoin
filipino f lee bailey

donnamartin
nincompoop, harsh words

donnamartin
need a gif
jpeenier entered the room

bob511
I think their phonebooth still needs a bit of work.

Ampersand
lol

besoin
the god of abraham!

lhs
he just had it set on self-cleaning mode

jpeenier
I guess they didn’t accept the charges.

dan
would have been faster to walk it over, dude

donnamartin
the werewolf costumes are better than this

besoin
who said anything about rocks

Ampersand
"no, Rocco, they became your rolls"

donnamartin
there's more plot to uncover?

bob511
"Now, challenge me to this homemade game of Simon."

dan
wonder how long it takes for this fake beard to come off? 3 hours?

besoin
this kid must have a belly full of worms

besoin
running around the tropics barefoot

bob511
Elder god guy was really good as the head ship in Zardoz, though.

donnamartin
lol

donnamartin
fuck you boy god

Ampersand
lololol

Ampersand
he is a bad boy

Trebbers
ahahahhah

donnamartin
pudgy fred savage doesn't have a lot of room to talk

besoin
now we're cookin'

dan
Ghosts and God-blins

donnamartin
was the ghost rapist dressed liek this?

bob511
The land of his limestone ancestors.

besoin
roku the god of lumpia

donnamartin
oh shit The Next Generation is here

bob511
All the dialogue was in three-second studio sessions over the course of fourteen years.

donnamartin
oh my god

Ampersand
here, Mick Fleetwood, here

donnamartin
lol

dan
a whole claymation sequence just for a single blink?

jpeenier
we need cash for an intensive addiction center to kick this 4-carton a day habit we all picked up in laos

donnamartin
oh god

donnamartin
that got dark fast

bob511
Next, the cyclops pinches his head.

donnamartin
kid you failed

donnamartin
boy god more like boy fail

bob511
Aha

Ampersand
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

jpeenier
gaha

Ampersand
Odd Kiddie

dan
roc'd his lights out

donnamartin
lol

bob511
"Remember what I told you, one second previously."

donnamartin
high fives, the universal language of love

dan
so these guys go back to living in teh woods I guess?

besoin
two fannies

besoin
great, my mother in law

jpeenier
the most dangerous enemy of all...two enemies, glued together.

dan
I feel like this isn't an actual mythological creature and they just needed to come up with a cheap way to make a monster

dan
oh shit

donnamartin
oh shiiiiit

donnamartin
now, barrel roll!

donnamartin
is their super power to make you dizzy?

jpeenier
ok that is a sick move

dan
are they wind-up monsters?

jpeenier
climb, rocko!
bob511 left the room
bob511 entered the room

jpeenier
he must hit the crunch machine like a beast goddamn

donnamartin
wonder woman is here?

besoin
uh
poperblast4 entered the room

bob511
::cello riff::

dan
I feel like he could just be rolling past all of this

poperblast4
is this three ninjas kick back or what

dan
but I guess he just loves to murder too much

besoin
needs the hp

donnamartin
yesss

dan
It's a Sonic The Hedgehog/Altered Beast mash-up laserblast

dan
this is the rise from your grave guy

poperblast4
i could see this as a Sega CD game yeah

jpeenier
##base drops##

donnamartin
need this soundtrack to my life

jpeenier
bass* >,<

besoin
i wonder what's poisoning the water

poperblast4
i fucking hate guys who spam projectiles

bob511
Oh, yeah, I remember this boss from Zelda 2.

poperblast4
lol bob

donnamartin
fuuuuuuuck

donnamartin
this is a kids movie?

dan
this is a better Zelda adaptation that whatever we'll probably ever get

dan
now it's time to go Beneath the Planet of the Apes

besoin
janice

poperblast4
(final fantasy 6 overworld music plays)

jpeenier
trying to inhabit the headspace of a 10yo me watching this and frankly it is rocking my small world

besoin
marie antoinette

donnamartin
an immortal who can be killed by water

besoin
tautology

donnamartin
he should have stayed away from that tanning package

bob511
Vulcan needs to lay off the shellfish.

donnamartin
so vulcan is from florida

dan
Rocco's next quest: finding the guy who glued cadbury eggs under Vulcan's eyelids

besoin
pat benatar is an immortal

donnamartin
that other guy is a chump

Ampersand
i've been waiting to hack you, son

lhs
that's what i heard too

dan
low turnout at the meeting of the gods

dan
for the sake of Mike Pence

donnamartin
this movie has everything

Ampersand
lol

bob511
Rocco is Tommy

lhs
i like his she-ra outfit though

Ampersand
advanced studies in the truffle shuffle

poperblast4
meanwhile, back at rambo's house

besoin
oh yeah, robbie

besoin
he's been gone for 90% of the movie

dan
maybe all that was a fever dream Rocco had at the Party City in town

donnamartin
maybe rocco actually drowned the first time and this is all a jacob's ladder thing

besoin
dr. men-geal

besoin
filipino christopher walken

jpeenier
the story of how rocco became revolutionary commandant

donnamartin
i should start wearing ascots

dan
Dr. Jose F. Mengala

lhs
that neckerchief you like is coming back in style

bob511
Ha
jpeenier left the room

donnamartin
sweet, i'm a of a pretty jaunty disposition

dan
he is a fine boy, can't argue with him there

dan
the rest, what a muffter!

Ampersand
*set collapses*

Ampersand
uh

donnamartin
oh the indignity of tighty whities
jpeenier entered the room

bob511
OK, that wasn't necessary.

dan
turns out Mummenschanz make for shitty guards

donnamartin
neither was roku roasting on a spit, bob

lhs
but they're not dead?

besoin
this guy in the versace suit will kill him

dan
ahah

donnamartin
not...water...

Ampersand
pisssssss

donnamartin
hey how does rokku stay hydrated?

bob511
Should have armed all the goons with supersoakers.

dan
take off ya hoser!

besoin
gogurt, donna

donnamartin
blech

jpeenier
FIVE ~ ONE ~ FIVE

bob511
Dude, you don't put metallic costumes in a microwave.

jpeenier
aha besoin

poperblast4
... what

besoin
bit of luck there

lhs
that poor mime

besoin
just give them all water bottles

besoin
roku contained

donnamartin
that suit

besoin
you wouldn't shoot a guy in versace would ya?

besoin
*flips script*

dan
a camelbak would be like a mounted machine gun against him

donnamartin
could have just turned the handle

donnamartin
whhhhattt

Ampersand
hell ye

bob511
Fud'd.

lhs
"no"

Ampersand
"uh, you stay here, Rocco"

besoin
calls it like she sees it

donnamartin
oh so that was ghost rape

donnamartin
this is....not a kids movie

Ampersand
pretty good way to end, really

donnamartin
oh we're just gonna end it there?

dan
how do you try a ghost for rape though

donnamartin
no tearful goodbyes?

besoin
they started the socal fires

lhs
dead(beat) parents

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
lol

donnamartin
that kid's more fucked up than before

Ampersand
if he cries, he dies

donnamartin
oh, um, okay

donnamartin
so the end

bob511
Sure, why not?

besoin
fucking hell
Trebbers left the room

dan
loved it!
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:01 pm

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Turn back the clocks to 1890.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:31 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Turn back the clocks to 1890.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:15 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST, a mystery movie streamed live in Tinychat.
Hint: Turn back the clocks to 1890.
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby dan » Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:16 pm

I believe this is one of the last of my unfulfilled requests, thanks everyone with going along with so many. I promise tonight will be a blessed evening!
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Posts: 4310
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:02 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:04 pm

dan wrote:I believe this is one of the last of my unfulfilled requests


Oh, there are quite a few more.

TWO HOURS UNTIL SHOWTIME!
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:37 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:51 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - SHITFLIXE LIVE
Join the tinychat and stream a mystery film with us! Streaming trailers until 2210 EST!
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 9062
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:44 am

Code: Select all
YouTube: Ampersand started "Rhyme Langour"

dan
you cheeky devil

Ampersand
gotta cover the tracks

besoin
this music sounds familiar

Shalabi
what is this
Trebbers entered the room

donnamartin
does anyone else have a v tiny screen?

Ampersand
a period piece

Bob511
Time After Time, I assume.

besoin
mine is normal sized, donna

Ampersand
nope, normal, donna

dan
have you tried glasses donna?

donnamartin
lol
donnamartin left the room

Trebbers
Is Rhyme Langour the real name of this
donnamartin entered the room

importantdentist
have you tried a bigger screen

Ampersand
Time Changer, treb

Bob511
Or Central Services? Try Central Services.

Trebbers
I see

dan
amp doesn't want to get sued by Rich Christiano

Ampersand
a very real possibility

dan
you know he has deep pockets

besoin
they're going to hang him

kayke
preachy

Ampersand
playing with his marbles?

Ampersand
that's sinful

dan
time for a flogging

Shalabi
dick cheney

Trebbers
Who hasn't been gripped by marble madness

importantdentist
i always fall asleep holding papers face out like that

dan
heh

besoin
captain steuben?

importantdentist
oh no it's one of THESE movies

besoin
that's ucla

kayke
oh no wonder that opening was so preachy

Trebbers
"What to do after we've burnt all the books? Write one!"

importantdentist
that guy

importantdentist
oh

kayke
I don't want any more old white men telling me what marbles I can or can't steal

donnamartin
lol

Ampersand
i don't think women could own marbles back then

donnamartin
not without their husband's permission

besoin
what is richard riehle doing in this

Ampersand
marbles had the right to vote, though

donnamartin
and have credit cards

kayke
paying his bills, besoin

dan
was he saying his blurb for the back cover?

importantdentist
looks like he jumped to conclusions there

Trebbers
Feels like this scene is going to morph into the Mr. Show blowjobs make the world go sketch

donnamartin
okay had a bathroom break, what on earth are these douches talking about?

kayke
a doctor AND a butler

dan
I'm glad James Cameron liked it

kayke
I have not heard a word these dudes have said

besoin
i have no idea what's happening

dan
I'm assuming this is a eugenics paper they're all taking about, right?

donnamartin
probably who gets park place

pinkerton
these guys are having a blast

donnamartin
and Pennsylvania RR

donnamartin
oh fuck, god hasn't been dead for a long time

Trebbers
The first letter of each chapter spells out "Norris huffs wooly dongs"

kayke
I can't and won't watch a movie with no contractions in it

besoin
this is wordy as fuck

dan
don't worry, the times they will be a changin

importantdentist
this movie is gonna suck

besoin
who wrote this, aaron DORKin

besoin
(wokka wokka)

Bob511
Gramps, I assume.

donnamartin
lol

kayke
god invented not stealing?

donnamartin
guys i want to run my head into a cement wall

pinkerton
from the guys that brought you plessy v. ferguson

donnamartin
lolol

Ampersand
i admire their fight against satan's plagiarism

kayke
"satan is nice, he just has a beef with jeezy!"

donnamartin
i legit have zero clue what's going on

besoin
same

donnamartin
i have a tendency to tune out when old white men talk

kayke
saaaame

dan
"and the 570th most important issue of christianity is helping the poor."

besoin
i see barney miller

besoin
and jump to conclusions mat

donnamartin
that's like, you're opinion man

besoin
and captain steuben

donnamartin
your*

Shalabi
this movie needs a Chris Tucker cameo

besoin
nice old timey desk

besoin
he has baby jesus in a woodshed

kayke
lol

importantdentist
the beard guy is really bad at line reading

Bob511
"No, I have posted that on the church door."

donnamartin
yes, it's true, no one has ever said 'don't steal'. jesus trademarked that

besoin
beard guy must be involved with the money somehow

besoin
he's not pulling his weight with acting

dan
"come on Russel do I have to spell this out *winks seductively*

donnamartin
getting a real big lebowski vibe

Trebbers
"And if I shaint?"

Ampersand
shaint his britches

Trebbers
ah

donnamartin
oh he has that in common with several boarders

Trebbers
A boy must not simply told not to shit his britches

besoin
this is making i am gabriel and gramps look really good

importantdentist
no it's not

importantdentist
gramps's dialogue is snappier at least

dan
my future requests will not be nearly as christian heavy

dan
and will instead be far more Haley Joel Osment heavy

donnamartin
it just needs more bigfoot

besoin
there weren't 900 words/sec in i am gabriel or gramps

kayke
please make this guy not the main character anymore

dan
oh donna if you only knew...

donnamartin
i would welcome bigfoot in this movie

kayke
I wouldn't publish this dude's book

donnamartin
me neither. he's a turd.

besoin
what is norris's illness?

Trebbers
I never want to hear the word 'greatly' again

kayke
I'd publish my own book about how he sucks

dan
just imagine this guys beard but all over his body, that's close enough

importantdentist
"the crazies"

donnamartin
eeeexcellent smither

besoin
the score sounds like they're going to travel in time or murder a gremlin or something

donnamartin
s

Ampersand
"for you are shorter than i"

Trebbers
What the fuck is this movie doing

donnamartin
they should have just called this movie Circle Jerk

pinkerton
i can barely hear this movie

besoin
this is like one of those random "reports on the feldspar output of botswana 2007-2011" things they used to sell on amazon

besoin
just random and dry as fuck

importantdentist
is there gonna be time travel in this or what

Trebbers
It's like they wrote out the minutes of a fictional HOA meeting

dan
I always wanted to buy one of those but they were like $85 each

Ampersand
time WILL change

donnamartin
think of all the movies that could have been made instead of this

besoin
is getting this guy's book endorsed seriously the central conflict here

kayke
I want to see the disrespectful teens the turtley man was talking about

besoin
oh, here's the time machine

donnamartin
i hope it's bigfoot

Shalabi
dis gonna b good

kayke
I feel like god would be anti time machine tho

besoin
i was right about the woodshed

donnamartin
it's baby jesus made out of sausage

Ampersand
weird that this movie exists that science is real

Trebbers
His "Time Machine" turns out to be a naked man in stocks

Ampersand
*insists

kayke
lol

besoin
why are time machines always left by dead fathers

donnamartin
a wine cellar?

Ampersand
George Clooney's sex machine

kayke
"it's where I do my open mics"

Shalabi
a TV studio?

dan
isn't this where Marc Summers and those kids got trapped

importantdentist
wait is there actually a time machine? i was just joking

donnamartin
:)

Bob511
Now they just need to build the Pizza Time Players.

Trebbers
"It takes me to beer o'clock every evening"

kayke
lol

besoin
"i killed chandra levy"

Trebbers
haha'

donnamartin
i made a show called Curb Your Enthusiasm

donnamartin
it's a moving picture

kayke
so do they travel naked?

kayke
ooooh okay.

donnamartin
let's hope not

Bob511
Terminator rules.

dan
"You can use this to change everything at the school. With your help soon I become Dean Norris."

Trebbers
Of course this movie has tedious rules about time travel

Ampersand
"now take off your clothes"

donnamartin
the future, where it's a 50% divorce rate

besoin
russell, you must buy bitcoins

importantdentist
oh god this is what this movie about isn't it

importantdentist
fucking hell

kayke
what if you took an old timey camera and took a picture of things? Would you be able to keep it since the film is from the past?

donnamartin
that's where you're going, dentist

Ampersand
*travels through time, winds up at an MTV Spring Break taping*

besoin
russell fucking sucks

Trebbers
The Bible Primer

donnamartin
i mean, they all suck

donnamartin
russell, women get the vote!

kayke
to be fair that looks like a kill room

besoin
no one ever wore those dumb cravats

besoin
get outta here

dan
checks out

Bob511
"Got that, Chuck?"

Trebbers
Spoiler: Jesus was into scripture

besoin
he's going to give him a tomagotchi

Trebbers
"I gotta get your ass in the time sling"

kayke
"explore the possibility... of us"

besoin
show him. show him the spuds mackenzie beer coozy.

donnamartin
i want russell to go to the future, try mushrooms, and tell him to shove it

dan
such incredibly awkward walking

donnamartin
this might be the dumbest plot we've ever watched

besoin
these stakes are so low

donnamartin
including the movies that had no plot

importantdentist
seriously

importantdentist
they're going to use a time machine to prove things suck in the future

Ampersand
this could use some wrestling in mom's front yard

donnamartin
and bigfoot

besoin
does it travel backwards? just go see jesus and settle this once and for all

Bob511
"Or, you know, come at nine, and then you can come back at eight."

dan
hoping for an immediate mugging when he gets to the future

Ampersand
one single goat

importantdentist
oh man i hope he goes to 1990

donnamartin
aww, RIP goat

kayke
so the "good end" is that this guy's book doesn't say stealing is bad without saying 'stealing being bad is jesus's idea'?

dan
yep

kayke
ugh

Shalabi
"get in, we need to speed this movie up"

donnamartin
this is what happens when you let old white men make movies

Bob511
This whole argument could be solved if they just went back and got a blurb from Jesus.

besoin
i think that's very accurate

Trebbers
"You will arrive in downtown Pyongyang, tell them you are a Western spy"

dan
just wait until he sees a modern classroon

dan
m

importantdentist
"fortunately, they still have capitalism in the future"

donnamartin
i hope he learns to netflix and chill

donnamartin
whhhaaaaaaaaat lololololololol

besoin
what is the argument? captain steuben says you need to teach jesus AND morals?

dan
prepare to see the sick and twisted future where people are only taught MORALS

donnamartin
we don't have time to write real plot to explain our science

Ampersand
super complicated, just ignore it

Trebbers
He will go to a classroom, see a Smart board and renounce god

kayke
it just fries him

Shalabi
plot twist, it just kills him

donnamartin
i'd like a movie where they all die

Shalabi
damn it

besoin
a WOMAN?

Ampersand
*arrives in 2017, immediately elected to congress*

Trebbers
"It smells like boing piss"

dan
"now this will remove the top of your skull to start..."

importantdentist
why doesn't the version of himself that figured out how to transport two people come back in time and tell him how to do it

donnamartin
tense theme from time machine sequence

Ampersand
that's Bain with a Capital B

besoin
when he comes back he should kill michelle bain's grandparents

Bob511
"Wink, wink."

donnamartin
this guy was way too into back to the future

Shalabi
"meet with Bain Capital CEO Mitt Romney"

donnamartin
whoever made this, i mean

dan
"well that's him out of the way"

Trebbers
ahah

donnamartin
oh oh oh this music is a good sign

Trebbers
the music

kayke
ah, the future

donnamartin
very clean ally

besoin
is that the terminator alley

importantdentist
i was gonna say

Ampersand
Home Alone: Lost Soul in New York

importantdentist
hope the terminator comes out right after him

Shalabi
should have teleported naked

donnamartin
aha ha amp

importantdentist
wait it changed his watch automatically?

donnamartin
oh my god, i haven't had my morning constitution

besoin
he'll have to leave that bible in the future

donnamartin
very quiet alley

donnamartin
don't leave your hat there dude

importantdentist
20XX

Shalabi
lol

pinkerton
yo

pinkerton
where the fuck is Morris man?

besoin
this should have happened a lot faster than 30 mins into this thing

dan
should be 2002 judging by when this was made

donnamartin
how did he know to do this?

besoin
captain steuben told him to

besoin
just say the fucking amount

donnamartin
does this movie have a rule about saying numbers aloud?

kayke
the amount just says "sandwich"

Ampersand
lol

dan
Lon Githgow

donnamartin
those guys look like the ones who run THe Knife CHannel

Shalabi
how did he make it this far

importantdentist
he means a "non-jewish" manner

besoin
you can't check into a hotel without ID

Trebbers
What the fuck is this

kayke
what if it's a sex hotel

donnamartin
or a credit card

importantdentist
"call for help"

Shalabi
isn't every hotel a sex hotel?

kayke
truuuuue

donnamartin
what hotel have you been to that offers this level of service?

Ampersand
i mean, how could they not have gotten Rob Schneider?

Ampersand
he wasn't busy

donnamartin
lol

besoin
sometimes airbnb hosts are like this

donnamartin
sure, but this is a best western

donnamartin
or, an okay western

besoin
funkay

donnamartin
oh the music

donnamartin
someone had fun with the casio

importantdentist
no

Ampersand
UH UH UH UH

dan
ITS ABOUT TIME

kayke
it IS about time, isn't it

Shalabi
this is LA, right?

Trebbers
ITS ABOUT TIME

besoin
yeah

Trebbers
BOUT BOUT BOUT

dan
oh god

donnamartin
honestly too bad he didn't go to 2017. he'd fit in at all the microbrews

kayke
jump

importantdentist
"negroes!"

besoin
so this is basically crocodile dundee but he's christian instead of australian

Trebbers
"They let slaves own bibles?"

Ampersand
GOD LIVES!

Shalabi
oh no

Ampersand
not a chance

Shalabi
i though he was going to scold her

Ampersand
very unrealistic

donnamartin
oh my god

besoin
oh god

Shalabi
so basically the pawn shop gave him a million dollars

Trebbers
They are combining montage types

Trebbers
ahahh

donnamartin
don't you work on commission? big mistake! HUGE mistake

besoin
:)

kayke
n such

Ampersand
i'd like to know what the such is

besoin
just say you're from canada

Bob511
"Preferably not the papist church of your people."

kayke
probably plastic bags, amp

Ampersand
"capitalism, man"

donnamartin
uuugggghghghghgh gfuck offfff

besoin
yeah, no one worked on sunday in 1890 or whatever

besoin
you easily meet people this weird at church

dan
spark it night?

Ampersand
"we're going to go see the new Harry Potter"

dan
is my mind corrupt or does every proposition between men in this sound super sexual

Shalabi
"no problem?"

donnamartin
oh ted haggard is the pastor

besoin
stop staring at my crotch

donnamartin
by bible, i mean your dick

Ampersand
that's a plump bible you have there

kayke
steal his bible

donnamartin
......

dan
again, ultra sexual

importantdentist
this is really scary

Bob511
Whoa

Ampersand
omg

donnamartin
guys

donnamartin
this just got weird

Trebbers
Holy shit it's satan?

importantdentist
so he's only going to get to see one church service?

importantdentist
he needs to see a pentecostal church

besoin
michelle bain

donnamartin
oh get thee to a tailor

Trebbers
"Or I should say, a hotting dog"

importantdentist
did they walk weird in the 1890s?

besoin
what year is he from?

besoin
because they had all this stuff in like the 1880s

donnamartin
yes, no one drinks tea, ever, it's true in 2002

kayke
yasss

Trebbers
An urchin!

kayke
get it

importantdentist
wtf is this

Shalabi
"one hotith dog kind sir"

Trebbers
Runs like he is about to shit

dan
he shouldn't have asked for marbles on his hotdog

Ampersand
lol

Trebbers
aha

Bob511
The production budget to cover torn slacks just isn't there.

kayke
keep running, I don't want that terrible man to ever have food again

Shalabi
still can't place this city

Shalabi
must be Vancouver

besoin
it's LA

importantdentist
vancouver is fake LA

donnamartin
OH MY GOD FUCK YOU MOVIE

Shalabi
but it was time travel, not space travel

Ampersand
stealing hot dogs for fun and profit

dan
most eyebrow raising in a movie since Groucho

donnamartin
she's making those hot dogs turn tricks

importantdentist
is he getting a boner from that mannequin

Bob511
He's in the godless future for five minutes and already he's been convinced to shoplift?

kayke
this store has one non boring dress and he won't stand for it

importantdentist
oh so yes

donnamartin
a special deal?

dan
Chris Kattan's less famous brother

donnamartin
lol

besoin
i mean, there are definitely people that act like this guy

dan
like the director of this

Bob511
Chris Kattan is Frank Whaley

Ampersand
why i never

importantdentist
i like that they didn't even show what it looks like

kayke
no don't bother this man again

besoin
yeah

importantdentist
because the director thinks the same thing

besoin
go somewhere new

besoin
what an asshole

donnamartin
i want russell to die so so so so much

donnamartin
i've never wanted anything so much

dan
the line read on "Slammer?" killed me

donnamartin
maybe i can ask santa

besoin
go. somewhere. else.

Bob511
Are those plastic flowers in water?

Ampersand
helllllooo mr. wayne

kayke
that broach

pinkerton
yikes

importantdentist
"later, we fucked"

donnamartin
i think he has another family somewhere

donnamartin
he also said he was in the FBI?

kayke
"but the dudes there seemed highly into me"

besoin
heh

dan
"and the number of coloreds in the service was quite unsettling to my disposition"

besoin
that guy refused to open the door himself

donnamartin
har har

importantdentist
goooood one

Bob511
Good guess.

Ampersand
wow so true

kayke
oh no

importantdentist
this dude says "this" so much

besoin
haha

donnamartin
she had feelings

Ampersand
lol

besoin
all of this crap existed in the 1890s

dan
ahahah

importantdentist
just listen to how much he says "this" seriously

donnamartin
honestly, if god nukes this whole world i'm fine with it

kayke
please do not harass this woman

kayke
please do not bother this overworked waitress

kayke
don't bother those women either

importantdentist
all the people he runs into are just rude

besoin
they're going to an abortion party

Shalabi
oh no

donnamartin
but he's extremely rude

donnamartin
so

dan
lol besoin

importantdentist
"alcohol?? the legal drinking age is 14, my dear ladies!"

Shalabi
lol

besoin
mind your fucking business, carlisle

kayke
young ladies, water down your booze as jesus advises!

donnamartin
okay, i really doubt people in the 1890s always talked like this

Trebbers
oooof

Ampersand
fart

importantdentist
it's so funny how not even the bad people swear in these movies

Ampersand
*decapitated*

donnamartin
Elf is excited for the movies

pinkerton
someone is gonna murder this guy

besoin
mature theatres

importantdentist
it's gonna be me

kayke
miniature theaters

besoin
damn, signature

donnamartin
curious oboe theme from whatever this movie is called

dan
"One for Black Snake Moan please"

besoin
hah

kayke
buttered popcorn is gonna blow his mind

kayke
oh no what if he sees two people kissing

importantdentist
i can't imagine what sorts of movies the church group goes to see every week

Trebbers
asahhahah

Shalabi
i would rather see the movie they're watching

Trebbers
This is me at my computer right now

besoin
isn't the movie really showing how stupid these type of people are?

importantdentist
my church only ever went to see narnia movies and shit

kayke
the lord said you cannot mix ice cream and cake

besoin
audience surrogate

pinkerton
haha

pinkerton
damn that guy is a bad actor

Ampersand
LORD NO

donnamartin
my wife and i are trying open relationships

kayke
he doesn't know hotdogs but he knows time zones

pinkerton
this movie but DDL is the lead actor

pinkerton
i'd watch it

besoin
oh no

dan
this movie is just going to be this guy going to every modern place and situation and ruining them by acting like a huge entitled asshole

besoin
"let's kill him"

dan
hopefully it ends with everyone in 2002 literally thowing him back through the time tunnel

donnamartin
poor man's george clooney isn't about this guy

kayke
rowdy teens!!

donnamartin
zip

Trebbers
Stumbles on to these corrupt cops drug ring

besoin
heh, donna

importantdentist
"tut tut, after 8:00"

donnamartin
(sorry)

dan
man's most vile sin: loitering

besoin
thank god

importantdentist
"2036"

kayke
lol

Ampersand
sucks that he lives a long life

donnamartin
so they jump to the obvious explanation of time travel?

donnamartin
and not that two guys, same name?

Shalabi
wow

besoin
oh no

importantdentist
"what are you doing in this classroom, my negro friend"

besoin
we'll have to locate his material

kayke
"if you are students where are your oversized cravats?"

Shalabi
"bro, this two-thousand-*RECORD SCRATCH*"

besoin
yiiikkkesss

besoin
you let this man in here, mrs. jones

importantdentist
"mr. carlisle, that is astoundingly untrue"

Trebbers
Student needs to be recording a video in portrait mode

dan
does the bible say anything about drinking a beaker full of acid?

Ampersand
"mr. carlisle, you have the brain of a bonobo"

besoin
he softened his hairstyle

besoin
what the hell is this subplot

importantdentist
i was getting a booze refill, who are these guys

kayke
buddy cops

dan
*opens closet to find lady mannequin*
pinkerton left the room

besoin
haha

donnamartin
yup and all of this is GOOD

importantdentist
hahahaha

dan
NO!

besoin
what an odd thing to quibble with

dan
SAY IT ISN'T DO!

dan
*SO

donnamartin
not people being good for the sake of being good!

kayke
I hope the guy just said "jeez" and he flipped out this bad

importantdentist
he's becoming convinced that you should always mention jesus whenever you tell someone not to steal something

Bob511
"But then I met this guy named Robert..."

dan
all kinds, 5's 10's even 20's

Ampersand
i was the total package

donnamartin
i hope you die, i hope we both die!

kayke
what lol

besoin
you must have been pretty sheltered

besoin
i mean

dan
Kevin Godley from 10cc to be exact

besoin
hope this is a private university

donnamartin
ahahahahaahahaha

kayke
harry potter

besoin
minions

importantdentist
"let me tell you about something called 'harry potter'"

importantdentist
ah well there you go

Trebbers
"In other words, sin is in"

besoin
"shrek farts"

donnamartin
this is insane

importantdentist
this is amazing

Ampersand
lol so this is all about reinstating the Hayes Code

kayke
hahahaha defend the hay code

importantdentist
there were movies that didn't have jesus in even one single scene!

Bob511
If only they had gone with the Jesus Code instead of Hayes.

donnamartin
haha liberation is a bad thing apparently

kayke
"if lucy and ricky don't sleep in separate beds, satan has won"

donnamartin
there is 30 more iminutes to cover

Bob511
::tumbleweeds::

importantdentist
wait is this the dean from before

Trebbers
This fucking guy

besoin
satan himself

donnamartin
the crooked cops is legit my favorite thing going on

besoin
not a single person read any of them

kayke
what's his gay agenda

dan
I'm crossing my finger for some gays to show up

kayke
I like that this movie is anti sports

importantdentist
"golf? but golf is a sin!"

donnamartin
he is painfully offended by anything that isn't a hairshirt

kayke
what would Gramps say

Trebbers
ahahah

besoin
it's bribery

Trebbers
love that kid

importantdentist
"SIX flags?? six is the number of the devil!"

Ampersand
when Christians reference "the good ol' days" i didn't realize they meant the 1890s

kayke
lmao

kayke
this is exactly the scene I wanted at the movie theater

importantdentist
wait

dan
this is what the director thinks the Spice Channel is like

donnamartin
ahahahahhahahaha

Trebbers
"You dumb fuck"

Shalabi
jesus save us

Bob511
Well, apparently 1890 is a little late for, say, Roy Moore.

donnamartin
this is just so

importantdentist
did plays have people kissing in them before 1900 or what

donnamartin
ahaha bob

donnamartin
the sin portal

kayke
he's gonna cry because he saw an ep of dawson's creek

importantdentist
oh man i can't wait for this

besoin
haha

donnamartin
need a gif

dan
me during Movie Night

Ampersand
amazing

Trebbers
Going to skip a hell of a ppv porn charge

besoin
he found a storage wars marathon

kayke
last time I was at a hotel I watched 'Rat Race' and like 4 hours of storage wars

dan
love Rat Race

importantdentist
the theological tenet of critiquing morals in absence of proselytizing is directly responsible for elimidate

donnamartin
this is the kind of movie written by someone who thinks the devil works in all corners

Ampersand
"sorry, she's in bed with satan now"

donnamartin
i mean, sex

besoin
that secretary definitely thinks they're fuckin'

kayke
I want to see a micro fish...

besoin
please read about your death

Ampersand
sea monkeys

Trebbers
Time to look up some stock quotes

besoin
crash override

importantdentist
look at this hacker dude

Ampersand
Greg will show you the Matrix

dan
gotta say Johnny Depp really nailed it

kayke
you've heard of Cereal Killer, meet Cereal Eater

donnamartin
finds his articles about being arrested for being a sex pervert

importantdentist
how did he know what the space bar would do

donnamartin
stop looking for plot holes, dentist

importantdentist
or i guess maybe they had typewriters back then i dunno

besoin
typewriters

donnamartin
ahahahahaha

Ampersand
curiosity is a sin

besoin
glad we wasted time on that

kayke
maybe it's not for him to know, but I want the deets

donnamartin
i think we were supposed to learn something from it besoin

besoin
i won't google for information about my death

kayke
lol

Trebbers
Should have auto correcteded to 'Robert Carlisle autoerotic asphyxiation'

donnamartin
see even russell knows fuck the police

Trebbers
*russell*

Bob511
These guys are going to be totally stumped by Gabriel.

Trebbers
I like how when they introduce actual conflict into the movie, he quickly walks away

kayke
"great to see all of you, wouldn't want to be all of you"

dan
*crowd passes around collection basket of rotten fruit in preparation*

Trebbers
Starts screaming like Sam Kinison

donnamartin
what is this movie called?

besoin
time changers?

Ampersand
Time Changer

kayke
crime stranger

Trebbers
Time Changer, should have been called Time Stealer

dan
Tim Ech Anger

kayke
lmao

besoin
he's going to explain how black people should be in slavery because their ancestor saw noah's penis

importantdentist
wait is he gonna go back in time and turn usa 2000 AD into a theocracy

besoin
*whispers* he's from iowa

Trebbers
"Interrupting is a sin, my friend"
Shalabi left the room

dan
"and have lingerie on display for all to see"

dan
SURRRRRRREEEE you arent

Bob511
The twenty-first century as antedeluvian is more apt than the movie realizes.

besoin
you arrogant son of a bitch

donnamartin
i'm a fan of the IMDB user reviews: somehow watchable but not exactly good

donnamartin
"Great concept for a story, but the messages get sorta questionable"

importantdentist
haha

donnamartin
"This movie will be hated by non-Christians"

importantdentist
nobody's going to care about him calling radio an "amazing invention"

Ampersand
the devil's in the radio

besoin
isn't this what every homily sounds like at protestant churches

Ampersand
"i urge you no fap"

Ampersand
don't play marbles with the lord

kayke
cum

importantdentist
"if you are blasphemously wearing a so-called 'graphic tee-shirt' to church"

Ampersand
this is how you beat the deep state: convert them

Ampersand
"kill yourselves"

dan
so its dark, but theres a fire going? I kind of want to see that

besoin
fun fact: this actor went to prom with rita wilson, tom hanks's wif

besoin
e

Ampersand
fun fact: he's allegedly an actor

importantdentist
coincidentally enough tom hanks asked out my childhood pastor's wife when they were in middle school

besoin
he also played someone named "judge moore" in a movie about grand theft auto

kayke
LEAVE EDDIE ALONE

donnamartin
good

donnamartin
did you say, bad ombre?

Ampersand
"i signed it for you"

Bob511
"That's Latin, Eddie."

besoin
"what makes you think i speak spanish?"

Trebbers
"I will read about one page per shit, I tell you"

donnamartin
oy

besoin
he must hear this 100 times a day, working in a laundromat

importantdentist
did he think that 100 years ago

dan
absolutely

donnamartin
lol: was a bit disappointing (though not surprising) that this screenplay was written by those who believe in a hell of eternal conscious torment

donnamartin
this did not ruin the movie for me. It did however knock a star off my still-very-high rating.

importantdentist
these are the same people who wouldn't believe that barack obama was born in the united states

donnamartin
Eddie, boundaries man

importantdentist
yet some dude just comes up to them and talks about the end of the world and they're all in

dan
*immediately goes to pawn shop with bible*

Ampersand
*six months later* "hey man this book is kinda fucked"

donnamartin
oh i hope the crooked cops show up to introduce actual tnesion

importantdentist
so is he gonna not publish his book now

importantdentist
that he worked so hard on

kayke
he's got to cite god

Ampersand
he's still gotta change time

donnamartin
nah the cops are about to shoot him and cover it up

importantdentist
and that 7 out of 8 bible scholars like

donnamartin
zoinks!

kayke
"they'll never be able to follow me past these tables"

dan
did the rapture already happen?

besoin
they'll accidentally bring these two back to 1890 and captain steuben will immediately murder them

donnamartin
i'd enjoy that

besoin
didn't figure in daylight savings

dan
*pulls out derringer*

besoin
yeah, this'll get them to leave

kayke
there's always time for breakfast

Ampersand
isn't this taking the lord's name in vain?

importantdentist
is this blasphemy

donnamartin
and mike pence will be VP!

Ampersand
go to hell russell

dan
he was supposed to be here already but there was real bad traffic coming out of heaven

donnamartin
....

Bob511
Looked more like a smiting than a rapture.

besoin
........

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
hold me, daryl

kayke
I want to watch this with commentary by jesus

importantdentist
welcome back to the turtle club, russell

besoin
THERE WAS A MANNEQUIN

dan
"oh its good to see you Norris...um are my organs supposed to feel this...hot?"

kayke
"we're not friends, russell"

besoin
if this guy is an authority on morals without jesus, why did he preach jesus to everyone who showed a lack of morals?

donnamartin
we're white men, after all!

besoin
"that's why i did 112"

importantdentist
don't check 2018 please

dan
"I hope it ends before the year 9999 or else I'm gonna have to change the display"

importantdentist
i like how they briefly had the "will he learn how he dies" thing but there wasn't really any reason for it

Bob511
Every sentence now starts, "Jesus says..."

importantdentist
every sentence has a superscript that leads to a footnote that just says "God"

besoin
i'm willing to believe everything in the bible if you let me go back in time and confirm it

donnamartin
ahaha

importantdentist
ahahahahahaha

kayke
well we still have sports and kissing movies so I guess his little plan didn't work

donnamartin
this truly might be one of the dumbest movies yet

importantdentist
oh he's going to tell off the neighborhood scoundrel again but this time give him a theology lesson

besoin
i think the thing i hate most about this is the assumption that everything was perfect in 1890

dan
I'm very glad I could deliever in that area Donna

dan
and I really mean that

Ampersand
"they call it a hot dog"

donnamartin
it's no bicentennial man

importantdentist
i thought he was a dr.

dan
lol

importantdentist
"it was hammurabi"

besoin
"DDaaaaaDDDDD, heeelpppp!"

Ampersand
so even 1890 was godless

importantdentist
imagine being told this by a stranger

Ampersand
we have to goo baaaaack

Bob511
Imagine?

donnamartin
this movie ignores huge problems with society in 1890 but yeah sure

kayke
I had that happen to me on a bus in PA once.

besoin
[norris and michelle bain in bed]

importantdentist
WHERES HE SENDING THAT

besoin
that oven rack mobile is important to the machine

donnamartin
i've the preaching shit happen several times

dan
he's gonna send that 20lb bible to 2009 to drop on Obama's head at the inauguration

Bob511
Is Norris some sort of, like, temporal Gideon?

donnamartin
this music

Ampersand
those control levers are foot long hot dogs

besoin
what's the point of this?

importantdentist
hahaha it's gonna be 2012 huh

donnamartin
omg

importantdentist
omg

besoin
oh, it won't work?

importantdentist
this is so good

donnamartin
this is the best ending

besoin
i'll forgive everything if it's 2012

dan
is there a Batman villain about to get revealed?

donnamartin
i hate this movie but I love this ending

importantdentist
time just doesn't exist past a certain point

donnamartin
do we really need this again?

kayke
Why is the movie still talking?

dan
Rich dropping some samples in for the final track

Ampersand
well, tbf, we didn't listen to this the first time

donnamartin
lol

donnamartin
chip lake

kayke
I want an eddie clip

dan
ITS A BOUT BOUT BOUT TIME

besoin
sad to see richard riehle can be bought by big christianity

Ampersand
lol

besoin
big rich christianos

donnamartin
jeff "blink" rogers?

donnamartin
who puts that nickname in credits?

Ampersand
the Atlas Shrugged cast lists were pretty sad too

kayke
"MAGIC" film?!!

kayke
satan's film

Bob511
Dr. Butler

donnamartin
are they just replaying the movie for us?

Ampersand
D. David Moron

Bob511
Double threat.

donnamartin
we should have just watched the credits, it covered it

importantdentist
it's becoming clearer that the yelling about blasphemy in the movie was not really a joke

besoin
love that those women got credited as "rex's wife"

besoin
instead of having a name

Bob511
Fresno City College

donnamartin
taht wasn't clear dentist?

dan
no, thank YOU JC Penny

importantdentist
i hadn't really considered it because it was so bonkers

importantdentist
Robert Lee

donnamartin
EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS

dan
hey what ever happened to Satan?

importantdentist
thanks Robert Lee, for trying to keep slavery like god said

donnamartin
he made it big in the movies, dan

dan
did he manage to seduce any of the other parishioners by complimenting their bibles?
Bob511 left the room

importantdentist
fuck five and two refers to the five loaves and two fish
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