HPN SHIT FLIXE: The Good Son (Return of the Mac) Sun @ 22EDT

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 12:02 pm

Tonight at 2000 EST: we child wed with Leonard Nimoy's HOLY MATRIMONY
Check the HPN db or PM me for the movie file!


fyi: you will need to download this one. we'll be switching back to downloads on both Thursdays and Sundays for at least the rest of February.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:11 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight at 2000 EST: we child wed with Leonard Nimoy's HOLY MATRIMONY
Check the HPN db or PM me for the movie file!


fyi: you will need to download this one. we'll be switching back to downloads on both Thursdays and Sundays for at least the rest of February.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:16 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:Tonight at 2000 EST: we child wed with Leonard Nimoy's HOLY MATRIMONY
Check the HPN db or PM me for the movie file!


fyi: you will need to download this one. we'll be switching back to downloads on both Thursdays and Sundays for at least the rest of February.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:38 pm

1.5 hours until we get hitched!

(which is 2200 EST, not 2000 EST, which all of the above posts state, because I'm worthless)
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:40 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - Holy Matrimony
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https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:57 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - Holy Matrimony
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:39 am

Code: Select all
Ampersand
3

Ampersand
2

Ampersand
1

dan
can I get 1:00

Trebbers
35

besoin
the gravitron

sideshowraheem
1:00

Trebbers
1:00

dan
thanks

Ampersand
time to pick up a popcorn girl

besoin
is this a real thing

besoin
i've never seen it

sideshowraheem
from the twisted mind of Leonard Nimoy

Ampersand
heh

importantdentist
some kind of adult carnival

lhs
wonder if it's better to put panties in the crisper or the meat & cheese drawer

Ampersand
panties in the bread box

dan
"but it all worked out for her in the end"

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
Mr. Greasy

besoin
i'm jumping to conclusions

sideshowraheem
oh no she's having trouble with their JFK impersonator

dan
Greaseman's shirt is weirding me out

besoin
i kind of hate tate donovan

besoin
in every role he's in

lhs
he made it out of a motel 6 bedspread

dan
there should be so much more mustard and chewing tobacco on those bills

besoin
oh yeah, there'd be a big hunt over this

importantdentist
it's a small town

besoin
kind of lower stakes than the murderous cops in witness

lhs
carcosa is lovely this time of year

besoin
courtney b vance didn't have his b yet

dan
if Mr. Greasy doesn't get that $1,100 back he'll have to sell the carnival

besoin
canada!

besoin
these are just supposed to be regular 90s albertans

besoin
pre-nafta

lhs
supporting palestine

importantdentist
wtf accent is this

lhs
what's wrong with his mouth

Trebbers
srsly

sideshowraheem
did he have this accent the whole time?

Trebbers
Wiseau-esque

besoin
wiseau-level

dan
Pauly Shore with a little french canadian

importantdentist
it's like a mix between french, australian, and jamaican

besoin
i think he's supposed to be irish

lhs
maybe he's supposed to be deaf and we'll all feel real bad in a second

besoin
one of those criminal immigrants we always hear about

importantdentist
well if they're in canada now

besoin
oh, he's supposed to have like a dutch/german accent from living here?

importantdentist
this is before angels in the outfield?

sideshowraheem
he Joseph Gordon Lefthim

dan
nice raheem

lhs
suspenders are the ultimate wedgie handles

besoin
my god, this accent is one of the worst decisions/performances

importantdentist
i really think everyone else is doing german but he's doing irish

sideshowraheem
unless they're supposed to be Canadians who are trying to affect German accents to be more authentically amish

importantdentist
what is armin mueller stahl's most prominent role

lhs
oh hey that was the gma from true blood

besoin
shine, imp?

sideshowraheem
the sleeveless shirt they can abide but the transparent backpack is the gravest sin of all

importantdentist
he's starting to settle into the accent a bit

importantdentist
what

Ampersand
his brother is a fainting goat

Trebbers
Uncle Venom?

lhs
yeah

lhs
someone cut a hole in the wall for those geese

importantdentist
why save the paper

sideshowraheem
chekov's paper

importantdentist
that is asking for trouble

lhs
look if you get your picture in the paper, you save it no matter what

sideshowraheem
his problem in New Orleans is he was going to too many authentic restaurants

sideshowraheem
not like those phony ones in New York

importantdentist
he called the fbi when his state fair got robber?

lhs
would they even have jurisdiction in canada

importantdentist
robbed

sideshowraheem
maybe they have a long rap sheet?

Ampersand
no no, kiss Bread!

importantdentist
damn dude

importantdentist
drag her

Ampersand
AND 1 STUPID GOAT

Trebbers
Low energy adr

sideshowraheem
JGL is doing a better accent than him

Trebbers
Huttite

besoin
simpler times, when a state fair robbery was the lead news story, instead of a school shooting

besoin
yikes

Trebbers
the fuck

Ampersand
not exactly the development i was imagining

besoin
now she has to marry jgl

Trebbers
ahahhah

dan
RIP

besoin
this movie is speaking my language, as far as tate donovan burning to death early on

Ampersand
was Tate wearing a red shirt?

lhs
really wish they'd flipped a carriage instead

Trebbers
Great scene where they build the scaffold to hang JGL from

importantdentist
oh wtf i was getting a drink, did he just die in a car accident

dan
"We will now churn his ashes in to this memorial butter"

Ampersand
lol

besoin
he fuckin' exploded, imp

dan
he got blode up

importantdentist
damn

sideshowraheem
you weren't the only one getting a drink

Ampersand
it was his time

besoin
the turkeys!

importantdentist
and it's $100 cdn

Ampersand
a frog?

importantdentist
it's so funny that this is jgl's first role and he has to have this ridiculous accent

besoin
what a film

dan
so young and already negging

dan
and it works!

importantdentist
it's true there are no children in the bible

Ampersand
"there is nothing in the rule book that says you *can't* marry a monkey"

importantdentist
wait so he has to go along with it too

besoin
this will get awkward tonight

Ampersand
i would also like to kiss a cute lil' goat

lhs
from the fucked up mind of serena miller

besoin
sienna disowned her

dan
little baby gonna get married, huh little baby you gonna have a family now?

sideshowraheem
why are they besmirching Canadian heroes Loverboy?

besoin
this is like the antz to milk money's a bug's life

importantdentist
buh

Ampersand
what

dan
OOOOOOH booooy

Trebbers
uh

Ampersand
jeeeeezzzz

importantdentist
this is fucked

Trebbers
truly

Ampersand
slayed 'im

besoin
"you have to beat her"

dan
"opressor"

sideshowraheem
*JGL in Holy Matrimony voice * My Wife

Ampersand
lol

importantdentist
we talkin weeds

importantdentist
vat is dis strange coorency

sideshowraheem
it doesn't even have de queen on it

besoin
he gave him usd to buy ice cream, come to think of it

Ampersand
wow, crafty

Ampersand
the taming of the goat

importantdentist
he's going to trick her into pretending to love him

besoin
he has her figured out

importantdentist
yeah that's not really what she's supposed to be doing i don't think

lhs
this is someone's fetish

besoin
leonard nimoy's

importantdentist
omg

importantdentist
classic bit

sideshowraheem
Patricia Arquette digging a hole HD full scene

importantdentist
this is fucked

besoin
a tale as old as time

Ampersand
show me da money

besoin
good choice, leonard

importantdentist
this is a weird kind of amish

besoin
swirl the camera around aimlessly

sideshowraheem
ohhhhhhhhhh

importantdentist
is she gonna liberate the amish ladies

Ampersand
To JGL, Thanks for Everything, Serena Miller

besoin
traction action

lhs
she's going to sew a calico thong

dan
there's 12,000,000 gallons of pickled okra in those silos

importantdentist
she is blowing her cover pretty egregiously

lhs
remind me to look for "chicken tosser" in the credits

Ampersand
i think they just consummated the marriage

lhs
get some pogs

sideshowraheem
dont' return it just burn it

sideshowraheem
is this supposed to be a comedy?

sideshowraheem
because there have been so few even attempts at jokes

dan
Taglines: The hilariously sexy comedy!

dan
see that was pretty funny

Ampersand
"i declare i love my wife"

sideshowraheem
pre 9/11 border security is going to just let him through anyway

besoin
yeah, crossing the border is a laugh riot

lhs
the money is in the gas tank

besoin
oh yeah, this plotline

dan
they needed to take him offscreen for 40 minutes to represent the 400 mile journey to canada

besoin
padre

lhs
the final man is satan

besoin
this would be a good time for her to leave, right?

besoin
not sure what her plan is

sideshowraheem
I think that might be it

besoin
it's character actor this guy

dan
Cuckerite

sideshowraheem
always leave a foot wide opening in the drapes before your about to fuck

besoin
heh, dan

Ampersand
ew husband stuff

besoin
how did this get made

Ampersand
it was a spoc script

dan
:p

sideshowraheem
oh noooooooo amp

Ampersand
sorry sorry trying to delete it

dan
Almost Famous ripped this off so hard

sideshowraheem
ahaha

Ampersand
brutally violent honesty

sideshowraheem
(I wish I'd thought of it)

importantdentist
she's wanted to die more times than she's not wanted to die?

sideshowraheem
this is truly insane

importantdentist
this is so fucked

dan
he really isn't

dan
he was screaming at her for like 90% of this movie

sideshowraheem
the only people more obsessed with logic than Vulcans are libertarians so the pedophilia angle kinda makes sense

sideshowraheem
"Actually it's ephebophilia"- Mr. Spock

besoin
this fbi guy was in several star trek movies/series

besoin
i wonder what the connection is

lhs
god won't pay attention to you until you drive some traction action into whatever the canadian wtc is

besoin
sure, i'll do that

importantdentist
is there a bus from montana to the amish compound in alberta

besoin
nice

sideshowraheem
she desserted me, she bought me a ice cream

lhs
the bacon must eat the flute of their own weight

lhs
is what i heard

dan
close enough

sideshowraheem
that's what we're going to be watching sunday lhs

Ampersand
seems legal

Ampersand
FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR, TOOTS

importantdentist
femal body inspector

importantdentist
ah

Ampersand
lol

sideshowraheem
Federal Boy Instigator

sideshowraheem
honestly I would have liked to see the implications of this FBI agent blowing a 12 year old's brains out

dan
someone must have wasted a lot of money trying to win a Rasta banana that night at the carnival

besoin
he's a foreigner, so he'd get a medal

importantdentist
yeah he's a canadian national, it's np

sideshowraheem
crossing without a passport kaboom

lhs
they're going to launder it at the ring toss booth

besoin
where are they trying to go?

importantdentist
to the state fair

importantdentist
*ze state fair

besoin
was it the florida state fair or something?

dan
ewww

besoin
i thought they drove for a few hours the first time

sideshowraheem
they mentioned New Orleans a few times but that might have been a different thing

importantdentist
i hear they have the best food in america there

dan
heres an idea if you're cold: stand somewhere other than the open traincar door

besoin
where'd they get a lantern?

importantdentist
did they just hop a freight train

sideshowraheem
oh god they're about to fuck

Ampersand
brrrr

Ampersand
a roll in the hay

lhs
pretend we're hamsters

besoin
heh

dan
if this train goes through a tunnel at some point I'm out

besoin
oh god, dan, it might happen

dan
she had multiple boats?

lhs
and pain killers

sideshowraheem
"she fucked the president then accidentally killed herself!"

besoin
everything...in her system

dan
haha

Ampersand
lol

besoin
very discreet driver

besoin
looks empty

dan
one bite of a deep-fried oreo and this kid's never going back to the farm again

besoin
are those jncos

importantdentist
yeah america in general is like canada's rumpspringa

dan
1994 besoin

besoin
prtojncos

Ampersand
keep your eye on the bald

importantdentist
who's that guy!

besoin
he was the barker for her carnival upskirt thing, imp

importantdentist
oh damn

importantdentist
someone was paying attention

besoin
caramel apple girl looking at the camera

lhs
federal bovine inspector

sideshowraheem
man this stunt double might really get kicked

besoin
maybe they don't take kindly to the federal government around here

sideshowraheem
yeah this movie ends with a Ruby Ridge style standoff

besoin
maybe it's supposed to be iowa? that was where the fbi office was

besoin
where courtney b. vance gave his riveting performance

besoin
yikes

importantdentist
wtf

sideshowraheem
holy shit

besoin
ooh shittttt

besoin
traction action!

lhs
fair boy injurer

Ampersand
this is also someone's fetish

dan
put him into the thresher JGL

importantdentist
what

besoin
if it was ICE in the bucket, it'd be mine

sideshowraheem
Farm Bucket Investigator

importantdentist
ewwww

sideshowraheem
officer Jonathan Richman back there

besoin
i mean, she broke a bunch of laws aside from the original theft

besoin
but i guess i'll suspend disbelief!

lhs
"i don't know if we have nipple tassles in your size"

dan
wait is his shirt a bunch of melting tractors?

besoin
this would be a good time to rob the fair

dan
parking meters? rollerskates? what the hell is it

besoin
all the guards are in here

sideshowraheem
*My Wife*

sideshowraheem
I feel like we got screwed out of some comical portrayals of mounties in this film

importantdentist
yeah wtf

Ampersand
"whoops, it's permanent marker"

besoin
go see super troopers 2

lhs
he's gonna gas himself with the ferris wheel exhaust

besoin
now this is someone's fetish

besoin
an inner city high school

importantdentist
weird

sideshowraheem
jesus

besoin
they should show this in a double feature with boyhood

dan
eee

Ampersand
our youngest divorcee

sideshowraheem
they were bringing out a torture rack for her and everything

besoin
cor blimey that was horrible

importantdentist
don't they like have to stone her for getting divorced
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Feb 17, 2018 1:17 pm

This Sunday @ 2200 EST:

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:51 pm

Tonight! Check the hpn dropbox (under the Paul Verhoeven folder) or PM me to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 3:07 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight! Check the hpn dropbox (under the Paul Verhoeven folder) or PM me to join!
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Postby ratbags » Sun Feb 18, 2018 3:10 pm

if i watch tonight will everyone get mad if i keep saying WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, ELISABETH SHUE
session to session
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 3:30 pm

no we'd love it
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Postby Kevin McCallister » Sun Feb 18, 2018 5:23 pm

AKA Invisible Rapist
kranky wrote:the monster mash isn't actually halloween specific and is just a monster party that could happen at any time.
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Postby Shalabi » Sun Feb 18, 2018 5:26 pm

oh christ
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Postby Bob511 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:09 pm

Kevin McCallister wrote:AKA Invisible Rapist

Yeah, for whatever reason, and I'm not entirely sure why in comparison to a lot of other stuff we've watched, some of the stuff in this one feels especially rough.
universe, you can't play the willfully ignorant, but partisan bleeding heart
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Postby Mesh » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:47 pm

Man, I'd love to join you guys at some point on one of these but #dadlife
...brewed into the common yeast of the waves.
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Postby Seamus » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:55 pm

i watched hollow man in a hostel with like 20 drunk people around a year ago. it's weird as fuck.
Raise. Hell. All. Summer. Long.

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Postby Seamus » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:55 pm

i watched hollow man in a hostel with like 20 drunk people around a year ago. it's weird as fuck.
Raise. Hell. All. Summer. Long.

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:37 pm

~2 hours until showtime
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:40 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - HOLLOW MAN
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby dan » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:42 pm

that's a top 5 preview image for sure
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:55 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - HOLLOW MAN
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:52 am

Code: Select all
Ampersand
3

Ampersand
2

Ampersand
1

shalabi
anyone else some russian shit

shalabi
see^

besoin
not i

shalabi
hmm uh oh

importantdentist
uh

Bob511
More like Matroshka Man

besoin
turn off the subtitles

shalabi
can someone type something that's on screen right now

besoin
what the dickens

dan
yeah my encoding job on this might have been really shoddy, I didn't realize it was gonna get used tonight

besoin
joey slotnick

importantdentist
wait are there two sets of names on purpose

besoin
not sure what the transparent things are supposed to be

bbm
invisible ink

bbm
or something

lhs
soup

besoin
something vaguely science-y

Ampersand
lol

dan
I guess its for germaphobes who don't want to read bacteria letters

shalabi
alphabet soup

importantdentist
yeah those are chromosomes duh

Bob511
There's a fair amount of microscope looking in the movie, so...

Ampersand
Titles by Chef Boyardee

dan
heh

besoin
really horrible title sequence

Bob511
Story definitely not by HG Wells

dan
intentional that the EH came toward the screen first?

besoin
this is great rat footage though

Trebbers
Fleeing from this movie

besoin
well not anymore

importantdentist
ah ok

bbm
just wanted to take a damn shower

Bob511
Kong researchers hard at work on the cutting edge of dog toy technology

besoin
this is how science happens alright

bbm
coding Spore

dan
Invisible Leno

Trebbers
Unstable huh

Trebbers
subtle

dan
he's in Bacon's room monologing but you can't see him

lhs
can't wait to not see this haircut anymore

bbm
chekhovs :ahuh:

sideshowraheem
establishing this guy as a ccreep early

importantdentist
the only thing i remember about this is seeing a commercial for it and thinking it would be a pretty surefire way to see some boobs

dan
dammit, I'll never see a naked woman *goes back to computer*

besoin
that's the entire premise of the movie, ID

importantdentist
i was 12, what's their excuse

dan
it's boobish even for Verhoeven if I recall

Trebbers
*Draws boobs in molecules*

bbm
puts boobs on the

bbm
haha

dan
although this isn't the extended cut, so maybe some are missing

shalabi
that's all it takes to do some science

bbm
well

importantdentist
they had skype in 2000?

bbm
this is like 2017

Trebbers
Not at that quality

bbm
in 2000

importantdentist
dude

shalabi
Nokia computers

dan
they're gonna replace DNA with twinkies?

bbm
no

bbm
with a tiddy

Bob511
The opacity on his window manager is way too high for his character.

bbm
weird how brolin looks like an old guy even 18 years ago

Ampersand
aww ye

importantdentist
oh HELL YEAH

bbm
hahaa

Trebbers
bobbin my head

shalabi
decent needle drop

lhs
from one grown-out bowl cut to another

Ampersand
lolol

Trebbers
ahahh

besoin
music for hollow men

bbm
what is this sick track

Bob511
Do you think song placement contracts have bonuses when the actors sing along to it?

besoin
they should

Ampersand
nice of the Bacon Brothers to lend an original song

Bob511
"Here at Hollow Man Brewing"

shalabi
they work in Chernobyl

bbm
sweet duster

dan
the abandoned spirograph factory

bbm
haha

importantdentist
would this have been better with jim carrey

bbm
absolutely

bbm
but bacon is a great bad guy

besoin
they need to work on their animal protocols

importantdentist
um have you SEEN the number 23

bbm
of course

sideshowraheem
saved some gorilla money in this one

Bob511
Man, who experiments on gorillas?

sideshowraheem
this movie and the planet of the apes lab

importantdentist
and 28 days later

dan
this is in case they ever want to make a 900lb person invisible when they go to market

importantdentist
what does that tell you

shalabi
lol

bbm
hmm

besoin
yeah, get in a cage with an angry gorilla

Trebbers
lol

bbm
rough start to the day

Bob511
The thrice-daily ape escape.

lhs
needs steroids for the world series

bbm
LOL

besoin
the great grape (we think) ape

bbm
and leather dusters

sideshowraheem
if this movie had been about an invisible zoo jailbreak, now that's a movie

bbm
hmm

importantdentist
cue "walk of life"

Trebbers
aha

sideshowraheem
ahaha imp

bbm
wait didn't a good director direct this

Ampersand
10 bucks says i can make her hot before prom

shalabi
lol

bbm
isn't this like ridley scott

sideshowraheem
Verhoeven

besoin
isn't an invisible gorilla pretty dangerous

bbm
oh verhoeven

bbm
haha

bbm
questionable

shalabi
"different" not necessarily "good"

Trebbers
*trips over invisible gorilla*

bbm
how do all of these actors look the same

sideshowraheem
all women in this lab must have short hair

besoin
injecting an already invisible gorilla seems like bad science

bbm
its one thing to make a gorilla invisible

Bob511
I mean, he's still a scientist working on a top-secret project to make people invisible.

bbm
how to bring them back????

Bob511
So not "everything".

bbm
silver back

importantdentist
so they can already make a gorilla invisible

bbm
oh that guy

shalabi
trailer line

besoin
the woz from pirates of silicon valley

besoin
joey slotnick

bbm
him and shue have the same salonist

Trebbers
Not even trying to make KB appealing before he does a heel turn

importantdentist
they are not taking very many protective measures

Trebbers
The smallest bottle of Faygo they sell

besoin
nice flesh colored gloves

importantdentist
imagine being the lady who has to pretend pet the invisible gorilla

dan
damn taggers

bbm
hahaaa

bbm
this movie is moving along at a brisk pace

sideshowraheem
this is already so stupid

bbm
hahhaha

bbm
yessss

importantdentist
i'm confused

importantdentist
how would

besoin
i guess the gorilla didn't have any food in it

nonchalant
is that other dude from Heroes?

importantdentist
ah whatever

dan
congrats, you put glo-stick fluid into an ape's bloodstream

importantdentist
i was thinking that too nonchalant

sideshowraheem
you see the stuff in the veins but not the veins?

shalabi
*instantly flows to penis*

Bob511
Grunberg, yeah.

Bob511
Abrams buddy.

bbm
they're bringing the gorilla BACK

bbm
hahahhahahaha

bbm
it seeems to be working

importantdentist
well this totally negates the point

bbm
so many gifs

shalabi
why would it need to be awake for this

besoin
start mouth to mouth

bbm
funny i remember this shit from seeing it in the theater with my dad

dan
"shes going ape s...don't make me say it"

Ampersand
heart's got a boner

bbm
hahaha

bbm
i remember my dad being so disappointed

lhs
adding nacho cheese

nonchalant
lol

bbm
i think he asked me if i wanted to leave like right around now

Ampersand
lol lhs

besoin
quantum signatures

importantdentist
so making it invisible wasn't the hard part, making it visible again was?

Bob511
Yeah

Trebbers
YEAH BABY

dan
I'd just dump a bucket of paint on it and call it a day

shalabi
SCIENCE BITCH

importantdentist
yeah this was a johnny quest episode i think

bbm
bacon half awake as an evil guy

bbm
huh

besoin
foreshadowing!

Bob511
Brolin already on his way to being the Mummy.

sideshowraheem
foreshadowing

sideshowraheem
dammit

lhs
they turn invisible to bail on the check

besoin
does it seem like this is bacon's true self

importantdentist
that's their next project

dan
Time Changer would beg to differ

shalabi
Timer Man

Bob511
"If only someone had written a story about it that was now in the public domain..."

besoin
shue needs some conditioner

Ampersand
UGLY. BACON. UGLY. GO AWAY.

dan
dogs don't know it's not bacon

dan
this is the kind of footage I would show if I wanted to get all of my funding stripped

Bob511
"To see more, generals, please purchase the director's cut."

sideshowraheem
"we'd like to buy your half formed gorilla screaming in pain drug"

Trebbers
"We want to be in the gorilla screaming business"

besoin
trump would keep funding this

besoin
more content for the gorilla channel

Trebbers
"Can you make a shark invisible?"

dan
"But the budget has only alotted for 12 gorilla funerals a year and you've already gone way over that"

Ampersand
does he really not own any other tie

sideshowraheem
ahaha dan

lhs
why would he need to, amp

importantdentist
"you want to see boobs don't you!!"

besoin
they don't want to get scooped by the other gorilla torture projects

Bob511
Coca Cola?

Bob511
Figured this for a Crystal Pepsi office.

Trebbers
Man, imagine being the Coke ad exec watching this movie for the first time

Ampersand
"if we do this, we might just have a shot of making your bangs visible again"

importantdentist
bro

importantdentist
well someone's not getting any tonight

Bob511
He does?

sideshowraheem
is this big dick foreshadowing?

sideshowraheem
"we can't go forward with the testing, we've already lost Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash!"

besoin
remember how bacon was the sane/cautious one in flatliners

besoin
what a change

Mesh
hello i'm 40 minutes behind

Ampersand
he must have seen David Ayer's Justice League

dan
only 27

dan
Bacon is still visible

Ampersand
we can give you the time when you're ready

dan
you want 28:00 mesh?

importantdentist
bacon contributed that joke to the script

importantdentist
oh and that butt

besoin
gross butt

dan
28

Ampersand
very poor butt

Bob511
I don't know why they're worried about the military when HR should have shut down this project ages ago.

shalabi
stunt butt

besoin
i hope janice is the only survivor

besoin
put THAT in your CO2 car

sideshowraheem
that is extremely faulty logic

Trebbers
"I hope we're not making a snuff film" - said by 90% of the crew on Verhoeven movies

Bob511
No, Bacon and Brolin definitely worked after this movie, besoin.

dan
Mountain Dew Invisible Ice

Ampersand
nah it

Ampersand
it's just normal Baja Blast

shalabi
lot of air bubbles going in

besoin
administrated

Bob511
"A little...extreme...."

dan
well thats the key, bubbles are invisible inside right?

shalabi
only his dick disappears

lhs
nothing's happening is right

importantdentist
it's a boner

dan
invisiboner

Ampersand
"i'm starting to tinkle"

besoin
what on earth

Trebbers
ew

dan
his ass has fully retracted into his body now

shalabi
i saw dick

Trebbers
yep

importantdentist
definitely thought that was fake when he was thrusting

importantdentist
oh his dick already disappeared ok

lhs
if you keep picking at it, it'll never heal

Ampersand
lol

besoin
that's a wrap on bacon

besoin
voiceover work from here

dan
might want to get some aloe for that

Ampersand
sometimes you've just got to get over your nerves

shalabi
oh shit that dick

sideshowraheem
oh hello

Trebbers
my god

importantdentist
COOL - ADMIN

Ampersand
Skeleton Man

dan
lol

shalabi
haha

Trebbers
Would love an oral history of the guys who animated Kevin Bacon's invisible dick

dan
listen to the commentary and find out

besoin
easy there

importantdentist
that's twice as much as before!

importantdentist
uhhhh

bbm
hahahahha

bbm
ha ha

bbm
sebass

sideshowraheem
I want to see some yo yo action

besoin
why are the lights controlled by whatever the hell that was

sideshowraheem
how were the animals not driven insane by not being able to sleep

bbm
do you think bacon took a pay cut so he could just record most of his lines from vacation

Bob511
Eyelids are transparent, but his optical nerve works fine.

dan
oh man

Trebbers
really flopping around

shalabi
yikes

importantdentist
AH THE HEAT MAP DICK

bbm
everyone here is a little too playful

sideshowraheem
well he's a big rape guy already, thanks movie

Bob511
Wasting no creep time.

Trebbers
Right into it

dan
oh no, he's doing a Bacon strip

besoin
his very first act

importantdentist
he's been waiting years for this

bbm
the rest of the movie is him being a rape guy

shalabi
zero to molester in less than 5 minutes

bbm
sorry, spoilers

Trebbers
ugh

Ampersand
aaaagh

besoin
fear the walking bacon

Bob511
This seems like the sort of thing that you get caught doing whether or not you're invisible.

importantdentist
she's like "oh must be kevin bacon"

importantdentist
check his dong!

bbm
upper body hornier than usual

sideshowraheem
give him a damn sleep mask

Bob511
Like, you turn invisible, and the first crime you decide to pull are crank calls.

bbm
whats with everyone wearing matching powder blue suits

bbm
is it to match bacons eyes

dan
"please stop being so concerned and let me walk around the gorilla cages at night"

Bob511
::attaches googly eyes to Bacon's face:;

besoin
oh come on

Trebbers
oh god

lhs
seersucker scrubs

besoin
he's not in the women's bathroom

bbm
he goes where he pleases

besoin
very private bathroom

Bob511
She's not in the women's bathroom, either, it seems.

bbm
yea

dan
Thermal Pissin'

importantdentist
they should have chosen a less pervy dude to be their first subject

bbm
also there's an invisible stall

bbm
needs privacy drapes

Bob511
"I'd pull a Nigerian prince scam, they'd never catch me."

Ampersand
it's almost like technology is bad

bbm
is this like

bbm
undercover boss

dan
lol bbm

Ampersand
heh

importantdentist
whose blood is that

besoin
it's too bad sight is our only sense

sideshowraheem
why isn't his blood invisible?

bbm
ew

Ampersand
"let's play hide the sebastian"

Trebbers
uh

sideshowraheem
ewwwww

importantdentist
uh

shalabi
uhhh

Trebbers
fuck

shalabi
this is a metaphor for women in STEM

bbm
wrong guy!

dan
Bacon comes back, but he's covered head to toe with gorilla hair

Ampersand
tang it that stings

besoin
let him die

bbm
"j/k"

bbm
he shouldn't be stronger

shalabi
what are the point of those straps

bbm
or was that something they established

lhs
he's allergic to yellow 5

dan
they couldn't put a little pair of shorts on him?

bbm
red noses lights up and buzzes

dan
medical diagnosis: he's boned

importantdentist
a cake! good idea

dan
seems like a big breakfast

besoin
could have just put some lotion on or something

Bob511
"If I'm going to be stuck like this, we're going to blow through our fishing line budget. Have to make a few adjustments."

lhs
hellow!

bbm
watches Darkman once

Ampersand
lol

dan
finally, the Powder sequel we've all been waiting for

shalabi
coulnd't they have done this days ago

bbm
fuckin cohesion

Ampersand
"let's face it: i suck at minesweeper"

sideshowraheem
these people remember a lot of things their grade school teachers said

Bob511
Wait, isn't he trying to get to B?

importantdentist
ah

bbm
cohesion and cambria

bbm
fuck u bro

bbm
im fuckin invisible bruh

dan
pull out the big gulps baybee

Ampersand
invisible nipples

dan
the unimaginable horror...of looking like Rick Scott

lhs
gary busey IS the unabomber

dan
lol

importantdentist
oh welp

Trebbers
ahaahhaa

dan
this movie shreds

importantdentist
AH

Trebbers
ahahaha

Trebbers
Hollow ham

lhs
he could be in any strip club

importantdentist
so does the food turn invisible or

Bob511
Hints at a more wholesome movie, where invisible jerk Kevin Bacon goes around frightening children instead of raping people.

besoin
ah, the mind of a man

sideshowraheem
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Bob511
That "I was raped by a man I couldn't see" crime report isn't exactly going to take a lineup.

besoin
great opsec, rhona

sideshowraheem
hopefully she has a stray open bucket of paint around somewhere

importantdentist
dude is totally blowing it

besoin
if only it was raining

besoin
janice is the audience surrogate

dan
I feel like a playful wig for Bacon would help ease tension around the office

Bob511
How is his hair not killing him, being covered in latex?

lhs
the lack of noseholes in that mask is making me uncomfortable

shalabi
it's hard to get green paint in there

besoin
very heavy sleepers in this movie

besoin
if your eyes are closed it doesn't matter if the person is invisible or not

importantdentist
it's all the same in the dark (or the light)

lhs
someone went to town on these imdb keywords

besoin
shouldn't sebastian be working on this

dan
she dreamed the Bacon was makin' a break in

lhs
"caressing", "science runs amok", "reference to jonas salk"

shalabi
close enough

sideshowraheem
"dick muscles"

besoin
i hope the gorilla kills him

Bob511
No, Grunberg seems to actually like him.

Ampersand
lol

dan
just noticed his ear holes are sealed too

sideshowraheem
that mold must feel like shit on her skin

Ampersand
post-op Freddy Kreuger

shalabi
the ol' looping video trick

Ampersand
runs away to realize his potential by joining the cast of Impractical Jokers

besoin
just chilling out with only one button done up

Bob511
"Damn invisible punks."

dan
really had to emphasize that phone hanging up

besoin
jesus

importantdentist
oh!

Trebbers
shit

Ampersand
wowza

shalabi
da fuck

dan
talk about a dog pound

Trebbers
ahah

Ampersand
lol

Bob511
Dan,

Bob511
"Clearing out your office" seems like it means something a little different at Invisible Inc.

importantdentist
he's pinching the phone cord together like a hose, holding up the call

besoin
too bad it's not winter

shalabi
not very inconspicuous

Ampersand
as they say: kill yr funding

besoin
wouldn't bacon be drowning too

dan
now that's what I call wetwork

sideshowraheem
maybe these idiots should like wear their infared goggles a bit more instead of just watching the one moniter

dan
I'd just turn a bunch of humidifiers on

dan
or get one of those real fluffly cats to run around

sideshowraheem
get some fog machines and a strobe going

importantdentist
megabyte of ram should do the trick

besoin
scientists always also write their lab security software

besoin
damn, not janice

lhs
not a good idea to require a code to exit

dan
I'd play a VR game where Bacon is trying to kill you

Bob511
Black woman, first to die.

importantdentist
i thought he was going to do a 2001 reference there

Bob511
That had to be a tag line on some poster or another, right?

sideshowraheem
just let the gorilla loose

dan
yeah, I'm sure it would hate Bacon

Ampersand
janICE'D

besoin
put your fucking goggles on, idiots

sideshowraheem
put your fucking goggles on!

sideshowraheem
lol

lhs
imagine what you can do when you no longer relate to that michael jackson song

besoin
year 1

dan
"alright we're gonna need a net and a pile of twinkies"

Bob511
Heh

besoin
goggles!

lhs
a net and a pile of sleeping women

besoin
heh

shalabi
it's on a dog or something, right?

sideshowraheem
unfortunately they're incapable of looking up

Bob511
I dunno, this seems a bad time to be playing Combat on their Atari.

Ampersand
yesss

besoin
ouch

sideshowraheem
yikes

Trebbers
grody

shalabi
welp

Bob511
Are these, like, flint-encased darts?

sideshowraheem
if only you had some sort of device you could put on your eyes to see where the guy trying to kill you is

Ampersand
lol

shalabi
LOL

Ampersand
the goggles, you might say they do nothing

sideshowraheem
Get Carter?

lhs
the tale of the super specs

dan
spray it more toward his crotch

dan
got a whole fridge full of ape blood, should be close enough

shalabi
this is my fetish

shalabi
sliding on ape blood

besoin
come on, joanie

sideshowraheem
they should have brought some paintball guns

Bob511
She's just trying to lure Dracula here to fight the Invisible Man.

lhs
his dirty pillows

Ampersand
i wish, bob

shalabi
what

besoin
one last grope

dan
gonna need a lot of wet naps now

Bob511
Good work, guys.

sideshowraheem
curls is so fuckin dead

sideshowraheem
yep

Trebbers
ah

dan
thankfully they still have like 40 more bags of ape blood

besoin
just break the fan things

besoin
you have a crow bar

importantdentist
doesn't he know the only way they can survive is fucking

lhs
"can you feel it when i stick my hand in there"

Bob511
Duck tape, Bacon...this is an episode of MythBusters, right?

sideshowraheem
what they really need to save the day is a duct ape

dan
lol

Trebbers
hojly

besoin
no, my extremities went numb first

Trebbers
Tape over the vents dummy

lhs
putting their relationship on ice

besoin
fix your fuckin' face, bro

Bob511
Bulletproof freezer windows. Spared no expense.

lhs
nope, he's still busey

sideshowraheem
he only looks like 5% worse than Gary Busey tbh

Ampersand
he's a Gary Busey police sketch

dan
heh

importantdentist
oh, science!

importantdentist
good one

Ampersand
can't forget the Carlo Rossi

dan
a little something for the road

importantdentist
is that.... how that works

Bob511
Correction: duct tape, bacon, electromagnets, and homemade explosives.

sideshowraheem
he's even doing busey mannerisms

Ampersand
it's a miracle

dan
*slips on blood and dies*

Trebbers
Turn the heat up lady

Bob511
Just need to grow some potatoes now.

sideshowraheem
they aren't even trying with the minor science stuff in this movie

lhs
audience surrogate

besoin
yeah, 9 pages of printer paper oughta warm him up

Bob511
One keyboard down, like thirteen others to go.

Trebbers
So I guess the thing doesn't plug into the wall

dan
you know even if he did escape, it would really suck having to walk around without shoes all the time when you wanted to be invis

besoin
good thing he wore his flammables

Trebbers
This shit is mean

sideshowraheem
it's true god does like setting things on fire

importantdentist
she just kinda shrugged off that explosion right next to her

besoin
why is he visible

besoin
uh

shalabi
skin flakes?

Ampersand
accept the mystery

besoin
NOW she does that

dan
why wasn't it going off before?

besoin
he only has severe burns on 99% of his body

importantdentist
brolin comin

sideshowraheem
that's what I thought she was doing with the paper in the drum

besoin
hit him again

dan
"I _HATE_ soggy Bacon!"

importantdentist
oh man that's all it took?

besoin
cave his head in

lhs
the bacon is now crispy

dan
he Frank Grimes'd himself

besoin
isn't there a hollow man 2?

Ampersand
Hollower Man

sideshowraheem
9/11 2

dan
Hollow Man$

besoin
vacuum man

Ampersand
lol

shalabi
hehe dan

Ampersand
he likes his flames like he likes his ties

dan
your tax dollars at work folks!

besoin
they really gave this movie too large a budget

besoin
the explosion propelled the elevator up?

shalabi
i'm no scientist...but doesn't heat rise?

importantdentist
wh

Bob511
I guess they went for the self-destruct package instead of the safety brakes.

besoin
oh come on

importantdentist
oh ok

dan
it's Luis Guzman

sideshowraheem
did the drug also make him unkillable?

dan
he just cut loose

dan
looking forward to our army of invisible immortal enraged gorillas in a few years

shalabi
mmm scar tissue

Ampersand
rip his veins out

Ampersand
lol

Bob511
I'm really surprised at how fragile the infrastructure of this rusted-out whole in the ground of a military lab turned out to be.

shalabi
gif gif gif

Trebbers
hahahahaahahh

importantdentist
she maybe did not think that out too well

dan
well, he's bakin' now

lhs
wiener swinging frantically

besoin
she has more upper body strength than i do, that's for sure

Bob511
With an elevator gash in her shoulder, no less.

besoin
woof

shalabi
quick end it

dan
"evacuate these actors immediately, move move!"

Bob511
Tom Woodruff was the gorilla.

Bob511
Awesome.

importantdentist
five minutes of sfx credits

besoin
"dick muscle composite lead"

dan
the extended was over 2 hours I think so we made the right call

shalabi
Hollow Man 2 is based on the very first draft of the Paul Verhoeven film.

Trebbers
So, more rape?

Ampersand
i can't even imagine how they could extend this anymore

dan
R. Todd Schlopy is hilarious

shalabi
i think we have to see 2 at some point

importantdentist
that would be my guess yeah

Bob511
The extended version had a lot more of the rape and dog-murdering scenes, so yeah.

Ampersand
blech

dan
so did all those apes and dogs get roasted :(

shalabi
no, they're fine

besoin
i love that they filmed this on location

besoin
very necessary

importantdentist
what location? i missed it

besoin
dc

Bob511
DC

dan
THE LOOP TROOP

Ampersand
they escaped, we just didn't see them
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Ampersand
 
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Postby Mesh » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:28 pm

Came in 28 minutes late, enjoyed 40 minutes of Hollow Man too much to tinychat, then lost the war with bedtime. I'll try again soon!
...brewed into the common yeast of the waves.
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Mesh
 
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:08 pm

This Thursday @ 2200 EST,
imagine if...
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Postby Jeremy » Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:10 am

Fuuuuck, wish I could do this one. We had it at the video store I used to work at for some insane reason and I always wondered what the fuck it was but obviously didn't want to watch it in a public retail space.
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:02 pm

Ampersand wrote:This Thursday @ 2200 EST,
imagine if...
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Posts: 9605
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Postby goofjan » Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:05 pm

oh man Travolta's voice in this. wtf.
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby glock mane » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:29 pm

the title is a pretty spectacular and ironic self-own that posits 'either way, it's our burden!'
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:16 am

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
PM me or check the hpn dropbox for the movie!
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