HPN Movie Series: Chill Factor (Skeet/Cuba), Thur @ 2200 EST

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 01, 2018 6:05 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:Tonight!
Check the db to join!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 01, 2018 8:04 pm

Two hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 01, 2018 9:52 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: BEST FRIEND FROM HEAVEN
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 01, 2018 10:08 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: BEST FRIEND FROM HEAVEN
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https://webchat.freenode.net/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 01, 2018 11:48 pm

Code: Select all
[22:12] <Ampersand_> 3
[22:12] <Ampersand_> 2
[22:12] <Ampersand_> 1
[22:12] == Trebbers [46a05dec@gateway/web/freenode/ip.70.160.93.236] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:13] <Ampersand_> just started treb
[22:13] <impfriendtist> oh wow getting right into it
[22:13] <kayke> wow starts off right in a church huh
[22:13] <Ampersand_> 25 now
[22:13] <Trebbers> can I get 2:00?
[22:13] <Trebbers> or 1:00
[22:13] <bestoin> 00:35
[22:13] <Ampersand_> yup
[22:13] <lhs> marriage on a leash
[22:13] <bestoin> 00:45
[22:13] <bestoin> :55
[22:13] <impfriendtist> oh man
[22:13] <Ampersand_> 1:00
[22:13] <bestoin> 1:00
[22:13] <dan2_> this is like the light world version of Love on a Leash
[22:14] <Trebbers> People getting the vapors already
[22:14] <Ampersand_> oh god i forgot to tell you all that i bought Love on a Leash on dvd
[22:14] <impfriendtist> we're learning a lot about both of those characters
[22:14] <Trebbers> !!
[22:14] <Ampersand_> apparently the DVD has an actual score
[22:14] <bestoin> kris kristofferson?
[22:15] <Trebbers> This dog might not be a good actor
[22:15] <Ampersand_> well he is dead
[22:15] <shalabi> uh oh
[22:15] <dan2_> don't do it Gabe
[22:15] <dan2_> you got so much to live for
[22:15] <Trebbers> Todd
[22:15] <kayke> I've never been married, but I feel like the bride has to be there
[22:15] <lhs> squirrel in the garden of eden
[22:15] <Trebbers> Death Squirrel
[22:16] <kayke> yikes
[22:16] <impfriendtist> if your dog dies on your wedding day do you still get married
[22:16] <Trebbers> Final Dogstination
[22:16] <Ampersand_> bummer
[22:16] <bestoin> i wouldn't, imp
[22:16] <dan2_> the ominous portent of a black squirrel
[22:16] <lhs> you do not, is the premise here
[22:16] <bestoin> is that the groom
[22:16] <Trebbers> Looks like a young John Kerry
[22:16] <kayke> wait the groom is the sad little boy
[22:16] <bestoin> she can do better
[22:16] <lhs> the groom and his roadie
[22:16] <bestoin> heh
[22:16] <Trebbers> Why is his collar so loose
[22:16] <kayke> fall out groom
[22:16] <bestoin> she's going to marry the flower guy, eh
[22:16] <dan2_> best man is Comic Book Guy
[22:17] <Trebbers> Is that style now
[22:17] <kayke> panic at the groomsco
[22:17] <bestoin> how is he? he's fuckin' dead
[22:17] <Trebbers> *head bump*
[22:17] <bob511> Bet the flowers are comped, though.
[22:17] <lhs> he has very little HP left
[22:18] <Trebbers> "He's taking a substantial nap"
[22:18] <Ampersand_> "well, uh, honey, how much do we not care?"
[22:18] <impfriendtist> holy shit
[22:18] <Trebbers> cold
[22:18] <bestoin> he'll throw $25 at the gofundme
[22:18] <kayke> woah
[22:18] <Trebbers> "I can fill in for your dog"
[22:18] <dan2_> really tall vet's office
[22:18] <impfriendtist> i'm gonna hope that happens to me next time i offer to help pay for something i break
[22:18] <Ampersand_> i'll say it: Gabe was a pretty Bad Dog
[22:18] <Trebbers> I'd fucking give her a bill for damage to his fender
[22:19] <lhs> heh
[22:19] <Ampersand_> also this character should have been played by M. Night
[22:19] <impfriendtist> he's truly canadian
[22:19] <bestoin> gabe has left this mortal plane
[22:19] <shalabi> "we tried nothing, because he was a dog"
[22:19] <Ampersand_> "my work here is done"
[22:19] <kayke> so... no wedding then?
[22:19] <impfriendtist> he lays on the horn as he drives away
[22:19] <bestoin> sunday mornin' goin' up
[22:19] <Trebbers> Next scene, shooting heroin in his car
[22:19] <Trebbers> ahahhha
[22:19] <kayke> hahaha
[22:19] <impfriendtist> jesus
[22:19] <Ampersand_> Heaven is an Old Navy commercial
[22:19] <shalabi> dogs ask each other that?
[22:19] <bestoin> he was in line with the mormons
[22:20] <bob511> "Hey, I can talk" wasn't in the script, Kris was just suprised.
[22:20] <impfriendtist> is this doctrinally sound
[22:20] <bestoin> sounds like gabe was 80 anyway
[22:20] <shalabi> gäbe was also drunk we he got hit
[22:20] <Trebbers> OH NO
[22:20] <impfriendtist> CEUCH
[22:20] <impfriendtist> everyone is canadian
[22:20] <kayke> the terrier mouth is v bad
[22:20] <dan2_> The Woof Place
[22:20] <Trebbers> ahahhahhaha
[22:20] <bestoin> so gabe got to the squirrel?
[22:21] <impfriendtist> squirrel hell
[22:21] <Ampersand_> wow, classist
[22:21] <shalabi> you can kill squirrels in heaven?
[22:21] <bestoin> sunday mornin' comin' down now
[22:21] <Ampersand_> amazing
[22:21] <dan2_> same exact way Jesus managed it
[22:21] <Trebbers> Dog heaven is fucking slack
[22:21] <kayke> what would you even fucking do if your dead dog came back
[22:21] <lhs> gabe is going to get final destinationed
[22:21] <Ampersand_> fuuuucj
[22:21] <bob511> Oh yeah
[22:21] <kayke> tie?
[22:22] <Trebbers> His bow tie
[22:22] <bob511> Hey Pete, why the long face?
[22:22] <kayke> they really cast the right dude to look distraught
[22:22] <lhs> please show him his own corpse
[22:22] <Trebbers> Digs up his own grave
[22:22] <bestoin> hope they called the electric company before they dumped gabe in there
[22:22] <dan2_> he becomes his own bone
[22:22] <Trebbers> Cries chewing on his own bones
[22:23] <lhs> heh
[22:23] <bestoin> two sickos in a pod
[22:23] <shalabi> dan!!
[22:23] <impfriendtist> "but instead we broke off our engagement because you died"
[22:23] <dan2_> DOGS ONLY beach
[22:23] <dan2_> sounds sick
[22:23] <kayke> dan was right
[22:23] <kayke> doggy door
[22:23] <lhs> lotta dead dogs here
[22:23] <bestoin> lotta flower delivery vans out there
[22:23] <shalabi> only 138 dogs made it to heaven
[22:24] <dan2_> Wally Wackiman is God
[22:24] <lhs> that day
[22:24] <bob511> What the
[22:24] <Trebbers> fucking shit
[22:24] <kayke> wha
[22:24] <bestoin> blue pants and a black jacket
[22:24] <lhs> wow this was not in the trailer
[22:24] <bestoin> truly the attire of a dog
[22:24] <kayke> those pants are illfitting
[22:25] == impfriendtist_ [48b633b8@gateway/web/freenode/ip.72.182.51.184] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:25] <bestoin> i thought he didn't get a chance to do the expensive stuff
[22:25] <impfriendtist_> they paid for the surgery that he didn't even do?
[22:25] <lhs> "i've been skimming off the collection plate"
[22:26] <Ampersand_> "all you need is a new shitty dog"
[22:26] <shalabi> "marrying is my fetish"
[22:26] <Ampersand_> lol
[22:26] <Trebbers> Glad this guy is finding work after the Louie CK stand in job fell through
[22:26] <Ampersand_> lol
[22:26] <bestoin> louie c eh
[22:26] <Trebbers> aha
[22:27] <Trebbers> Actor doesn't know what do do with arms, eyes
[22:27] <kayke> pushy dad - her dog died so her whole life is on hold now, what's nt to get!
[22:27] <bestoin> for sale: wedding dress, never worn
[22:27] <Trebbers> ahha
[22:27] == impfriendtist [48b633b8@gateway/web/freenode/ip.72.182.51.184] has quit [Ping timeout: 256 seconds]
[22:28] <Trebbers> "Fuck you dog killer"
[22:28] <impfriendtist_> oh man he's the town pariah now
[22:28] <lhs> he's dead too now
[22:28] <shalabi> oh shit
[22:28] <bob511> "Yeah, yeah, I'm a dog murderer, I know, mom."
[22:28] <Trebbers> "Mom, that dog was mayor"
[22:28] == autarch [cdb22980@gateway/web/freenode/ip.205.178.41.128] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:28] <autarch> time?
[22:28] <kayke> hahaha
[22:28] <bestoin> 15:45
[22:28] <dan2_> 16:00 in 10
[22:28] <Trebbers> shshhsh
[22:28] <bestoin> she's in the grand canyon area with ryan
[22:28] <dan2_> 16
[22:28] <Trebbers> ENJOY THE GRAND CANYON
[22:28] <kayke> I love my gay dog killing son
[22:29] <impfriendtist_> "ran over another dog"
[22:29] <dan2_> "we elected him mayor twice after all"
[22:29] <autarch> gimme 16:41
[22:29] <autarch> 16:31
[22:29] <autarch> gimme 31
[22:29] <Ampersand_> 16:40
[22:29] <bestoin> 16:41
[22:29] <Trebbers> "Honey, can I get an arrangement without dog blood on it."
[22:29] <shalabi> so much for Christian forgiveness
[22:29] <Ampersand_> 16:55
[22:29] <bestoin> i'll be on time if i have to run over every dog in town
[22:29] <kayke> jerry should just move
[22:29] <autarch> ok i'm good
[22:30] <Trebbers> Doesn't know the black guy's name
[22:30] <Ampersand_> woof
[22:30] <shalabi> I'm enjoying the lore of this world
[22:30] <Ampersand_> damn he's being haunted
[22:30] <lhs> the haunting of dog house
[22:30] <kayke> why does the dog have an accent
[22:30] <dan2_> make sure the dog looks as evil as possible for his friendship scene
[22:31] <Ampersand_> less an accent than a whiskey slur
[22:31] <autarch> is the dog Joe Pera?
[22:31] <bestoin> was the dog always so smug
[22:31] <kayke> jerry it's a demon!
[22:31] <dan2_> nutmeg
[22:31] <bob511> Aha
[22:31] <impfriendtist_> what
[22:31] <Trebbers> nightmare
[22:32] <bestoin> this is like when sam wheat got whoopi to help him
[22:32] <dan2_> strong Topher Grace vibes from this guy
[22:32] <bestoin> by singing i'm henry the 8th i am i am
[22:32] <Ampersand_> say yes to eating the dress
[22:32] <bob511> "Say yes."
[22:32] <impfriendtist_> "don't get flowers from the dog-killing florist who says 'no' all the time"
[22:32] <kayke> dog killer, church yeller
[22:32] <shalabi> I'm high in church
[22:32] <bestoin> what's the denomination here?
[22:33] <Trebbers> CAD
[22:33] <bob511> Heh
[22:33] <bestoin> heh
[22:33] <kayke> did you try gorilla glue?
[22:33] <lhs> nice passive-aggressive sermon
[22:33] <impfriendtist_> this is not a real truck right
[22:33] <bob511> "Also, fuck mechanics."
[22:34] <bestoin> like hillary clinton said, it takes a village
[22:34] <impfriendtist_> is that biblical
[22:34] <lhs> the moral of the story is red nail polish fixes up a dead dog
[22:34] <impfriendtist_> also do church services end immediately after the end of the sermon
[22:34] <bob511> "Mass dismissed."
[22:34] <autarch> did i miss good stuff?
[22:34] <Ampersand_> "hi everyone. heaven is for real"
[22:34] <dan2_> its one of those prayer-less churches
[22:34] <kayke> "airline food... what's up with that?"
[22:34] <Trebbers> ah
[22:34] <autarch> "who's your mom?
[22:35] <Trebbers> "I thought that guy killed himself in shame"
[22:35] <autarch> is that tim heidecker on the left?
[22:35] <bob511> He wants them to fix the murder weapon?
[22:35] <bestoin> "what, like a pet sematary thing?"
[22:35] <Trebbers> The wave in his hair is weird
[22:35] <Ampersand_> "NO MORE DEAD DOGS"
[22:35] <lhs> that's where his head hit the steering wheel
[22:36] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:36] <autarch> christ needs to lower the taxes
[22:36] <kayke> tell it like it is, sis
[22:36] <autarch> "like a slave?"
[22:36] <dan2_> did...he suggest that she make all of the food?
[22:36] <shalabi> ooohhhh, aaaaahhhh
[22:36] <impfriendtist_> they are super interested in this
[22:36] <autarch> unpaid internships are god's plan
[22:36] <impfriendtist_> she reminds me of the mom in the room
[22:36] <bestoin> two weeks pay for a server will bankrupt her?
[22:36] <Ampersand_> this is exploitation
[22:36] <shalabi> I mean, food costs money
[22:37] <autarch> i love this
[22:37] <impfriendtist_> get mustache guy in the front row to cook, i bet he maesa mean a pizza
[22:37] <autarch> what's the dog's name?
[22:37] <bestoin> gabe
[22:37] <impfriendtist_> kevin or whatever
[22:37] <dan2_> Gabe
[22:37] <Trebbers> Was this guy in the Ben Franklin movie
[22:37] <impfriendtist_> er yeah
[22:37] <shalabi> gabeN
[22:38] <kayke> scootiepoops
[22:38] <bestoin> isn't this where ryan met his crazy girlfriend
[22:38] <autarch> chris pratt?
[22:38] <impfriendtist_> related: this guy is like adam scott
[22:38] <kayke> this church doesn't look built in the 70s enough to be lutheran
[22:38] <Trebbers> Love TV show style transitions in movies
[22:39] <bestoin> i think it's episcopalian
[22:39] <impfriendtist_> i've seen lutheran churches that look like this
[22:39] <lhs> let him nathan-for-you this wedding
[22:39] <Trebbers> Wait they quit church?
[22:39] <impfriendtist_> i don't think any self-respecting episcopalian would let out a service immediately after a sermon like that
[22:39] <autarch> love the weak-ass collar on this guy's blue shirt
[22:40] <bestoin> i don't think the characters are episcopalian
[22:40] <dan2_> "And I don't come cheap"
[22:40] <autarch> you can't have a ceremony without soup
[22:40] <kayke> HE KILLED THE DOG ON ACCIDENT
[22:40] <bob511> Odds would be Anglican, wouldn't they?
[22:40] <kayke> why is he doing this shit
[22:41] <kayke> just move, Jerry
[22:41] <shalabi> Gabe sounds like he's on oxycontin
[22:41] <dan2_> self-loathing
[22:41] <bestoin> oh, hello love interest
[22:41] <bestoin> they do say the best place to meet a woman is church
[22:42] <dan2_> "I might need some help now that I agreed to 6,000 hours of unpaid labor"
[22:42] <bestoin> shouldn't the town hate the vet
[22:42] <dan2_> no, the town should hate the squirrel
[22:42] <impfriendtist_> good lord they're all canadian
[22:42] <kayke> the town should hate itself
[22:42] <bestoin> jared and ivanka here
[22:42] <dan2_> hopefully the end is the whole town forming a mob to hunt the squirrel
[22:43] <Trebbers> The Trudeau Show
[22:43] <autarch> who are teh 2 love birds?
[22:43] <impfriendtist_> ha
[22:43] <kayke> their dog died
[22:43] <bestoin> all of these starving canadians
[22:43] <autarch> was it funny when he ruined the wedding? just say yes/no without spoiling anything please.
[22:44] <bestoin> no
[22:44] <shalabi> welp
[22:44] <dan2_> he didn't ruin the wedding, he ran over the dog running into the middle of the road
[22:44] <Trebbers> what
[22:44] <autarch> she's mean
[22:44] <dan2_> and that made it so the wife gave up on the marriage
[22:44] <kayke> I hate seeing spaghetti
[22:44] <bob511> He's going to go through that pot in like five plates.
[22:44] <impfriendtist_> this entire town is just deep in the throes of the obama recession
[22:44] <shalabi> is this a millennial soup kitchen?
[22:45] <dan2_> yeah extreme same here kayke
[22:45] <bestoin> i don't think this situation really exists in canada
[22:45] <impfriendtist_> er, the harper recession
[22:45] <dan2_> despite the fact that I love eating
[22:45] <dan2_> it
[22:45] <Trebbers> Are they feeding the poor?
[22:45] <dan2_> it just doesn't film well
[22:45] <bob511> Not enough pho for a millennial soup kitchen.
[22:45] <kayke> at least there wasn't a food fight
[22:45] <kayke> I'd puke
[22:45] <bestoin> yeah, way to serve the food some invisible people made
[22:45] <Ampersand_> anytime we can dress you in that apron, we'd be glad
[22:46] <dan2_> "I conned the shit out of you Jerry"
[22:46] <impfriendtist_> it's like 4 pm
[22:46] <lhs> night, scootiepoops
[22:46] <dan2_> "Ya fuckin' rube"
[22:46] <dan2_> in a just world this is what Ricky Gervais would be reduced to doing
[22:47] <bestoin> she's given up on life, but not on landscaping
[22:47] <kayke> life right
[22:47] <autarch> I'm gonna sample "oh i'm so heavy" right before an EDM bass drop.
[22:47] <Trebbers> Guy in the TV is who they cloned this dude from
[22:47] <kayke> jiggly cgi dog
[22:48] <Trebbers> Yeah, just looping him
[22:48] <bestoin> the dog isn't that lovable
[22:48] <impfriendtist_> kris is actually worried he might not get to sleep on the bed
[22:48] <Ampersand_> it sounds like Kristofferson is dying a little bit more with every line
[22:49] <Trebbers> Everything in this is the factory outlet version of something from a real movie
[22:49] <Ampersand_> one malk
[22:49] <dan2_> the director must have had to keep putting more and more hundreds on the table in front of him as he recorded this on his couch
[22:49] <bestoin> that's diabetes
[22:49] <bob511> "...while I still have them."
[22:49] <impfriendtist_> wtf
[22:49] <impfriendtist_> good guesses
[22:50] <kayke> wait that was today ?
[22:50] <bestoin> busy day
[22:50] <lhs> she's going to fall in love with the heaven guard dog animorph
[22:50] <autarch> can't this guy take a hint?
[22:50] <kayke> do you think they'll let her into dog heaven?
[22:51] <dan2_> wait, how'd he get money?
[22:51] <Trebbers> Where did he get money
[22:51] <Trebbers> yeah
[22:51] <lhs> same place he got clothes
[22:51] <impfriendtist_> feel like they basically already made that joke
[22:51] <Trebbers> Sniffing ass on the street
[22:51] <dan2_> took it from God's emergency stash
[22:51] <impfriendtist_> pet-ty cash
[22:52] <bestoin> woof
[22:52] <dan2_> :)
[22:52] <kayke> his dog used to call him 'jer'
[22:52] <lhs> traded this for a youtube playlist, huh
[22:53] <dan2_> Jer seems to be drifting towards collapse rather than away from it
[22:53] <autarch> why is this hard for him?
[22:53] <kayke> his dead dad
[22:53] <Trebbers> Mace this fucker
[22:53] <autarch> kill his ass
[22:53] <dan2_> hoose
[22:53] <Ampersand_> Gabe runs him over
[22:53] <Trebbers> sorey
[22:54] <bestoin> was the dad late for the scene
[22:54] <Trebbers> What
[22:54] <autarch> what is he mouthing?
[22:54] <lhs> why would that be where your mind goes
[22:54] <kayke> a real one
[22:54] <shalabi> this town is pathetic
[22:54] <impfriendtist_> i thought they decided they could use the actual birthday song now
[22:54] <lhs> a singing telegram is binding
[22:55] <Trebbers> "That'll be 200 bucks
[22:55] <Ampersand_> this guy is like Dom Deluise and Simon Pegg got Spliced
[22:55] <autarch> this guy is writing checks other people have to cash.
[22:55] <dan2_> oh no, the HORROR of giving you gorgeous wife a backrub
[22:55] <bestoin> he's so busy
[22:55] <shalabi> he's a gamer gator
[22:55] <bob511> "My mom preferred 'Jerk'.
[22:55] <Trebbers> THATS COOL
[22:55] <kayke> "that coooo"
[22:56] <autarch> "that's cooooool"
[22:56] <autarch> super prouda you right now
[22:56] <impfriendtist_> "he probably wouldn't want to come down from heaven to tell you though, even though obviously he can"
[22:56] <autarch> holy shit the dog's voice is really getting to me right now
[22:57] <kayke> hahahaha
[22:57] <kayke> jerry is pathetic
[22:57] <lhs> maybe he can't. maybe heaven is a prison once you're past the gate
[22:57] <bob511> "Are you quoting Blade: Trinity?"
[22:57] <bestoin> transitional can-con
[22:58] <dan2_> now I'm imagining Rocky training to this song
[22:58] <bestoin> heh
[22:58] <Trebbers> Christian movies are singlehandedly keeping Pop Punk alive
[22:58] <Ampersand_> a-air
[22:58] <kayke> Jerry's mom needs to come back from the grand canyon and tell him to stop doing free labor and trading all their shit
[22:58] <impfriendtist_> it's weird because this doesn't really appear to be a christian movie at all
[22:58] <impfriendtist_> like it has all the hallmarks but there's nothing explicitly christian about it
[22:59] <bestoin> if jerry wasn't christian he would have laughed and drank gabe's blood
[22:59] <Trebbers> Assume all the CGI is bc this dog isn't actually trained to do anything
[22:59] <lhs> i found this movie via youtube recs from the fireproof trailer
[22:59] <dan2_> the director's other movies don't really seem to have much of a Christian bent to the them
[22:59] <bestoin> this is the house swayze lived in in roadhouse
[22:59] <autarch> THis is a movie about sidequests?
[22:59] <Trebbers> "I need you to act in a....movie"
[22:59] <bob511> I dunno, fetch quest seems appropriate.
[22:59] <bestoin> kick his ass, kevin
[23:00] <kayke> "I need you to learn how to box"
[23:00] <autarch> "I need to square up on you, motherfucker"
[23:00] <impfriendtist_> ahahahaha
[23:00] <bestoin> they're gonna plant some flowers
[23:00] <autarch> kaPOW
[23:00] <impfriendtist_> this guy is a real polymath
[23:00] <lhs> by the time mom comes home, jerry will have converted the entire town to a barter economy
[23:00] <Trebbers> "I'm going to plant you in the fucking dirt, Jerry"
[23:00] <kayke> lol
[23:01] <autarch> haha trebs
[23:01] <kayke> oh noooo jerry
[23:01] <impfriendtist_> cloud like isn't even spelled that similarly to clown?
[23:01] <kayke> have even one vertebrae of spine kiddo
[23:01] <autarch> the real clowns are those who don't accept christ
[23:01] <bestoin> horrifying
[23:01] <impfriendtist_> "wait a second aren't you the fucker who ran over gabe??"
[23:01] <autarch> drag him
[23:01] <lhs> from berkowitz to gacy
[23:02] <Ampersand_> John Wayne Gabecy
[23:02] <impfriendtist_> "throat-kick the clown"?
[23:02] <dan2_> ahhh
[23:02] <autarch> this is a "yes man" remake?
[23:02] <dan2_> a HAWW HAWW HAW HAWWWWW
[23:02] <autarch> lol imp
[23:02] <kayke> he without sin throw the first cake
[23:02] <autarch> dan
[23:03] <impfriendtist_> like what does he really even have to lose here
[23:03] <impfriendtist_> they're not even his own clothes
[23:03] <kayke> his self respect
[23:03] <lhs> he never had that
[23:03] <bestoin> what's so funny
[23:03] <autarch> who's the shaman in back?
[23:03] <kayke> does he have any shirt that's not floppy and blue?
[23:03] <dan2_> looks like Steven Avery
[23:03] <shalabi> fires?
[23:04] <Ampersand_> "i also have no jobs or cash"
[23:04] <autarch> 1000 rupees
[23:04] <impfriendtist_> it sounds like he has all the stuff for it, what does he need cash for
[23:04] <lhs> okay we're up to like $24, this is great
[23:04] <bestoin> is this how the collection plate works
[23:04] <dan2_> this is where the grift finally pays off
[23:04] <autarch> church never works this way.
[23:05] <bestoin> tara & pete & shauna & jerry & gabe
[23:05] <impfriendtist_> what help
[23:05] <autarch> make your move gabe
[23:05] <dan2_> backrub time
[23:05] <lhs> jesus is watching
[23:05] <bestoin> er
[23:05] <kayke> I want to go into this movie and save Jerry
[23:05] <autarch> "you trying to get the pipe?"
[23:06] <impfriendtist_> i wish we had a town slave
[23:06] <autarch> wait, jerry is the human?
[23:06] <bestoin> jerry is a shell of a man, yes
[23:06] <kayke> gabe dog jerry boy
[23:06] <impfriendtist_> oh ok here we go
[23:06] <dan2_> the plot of this is more nuts than that Christmas family rental movie
[23:06] <Trebbers> here we go
[23:06] <lhs> what is the dog in human form named
[23:06] <autarch> please let there be a huge god voice
[23:06] <bestoin> i don't know about that, dan
[23:06] <shalabi> make god bark at him
[23:06] <kayke> wow god is dusty
[23:06] <Trebbers> *God starts barking*
[23:06] <autarch> or maybe a whisper
[23:06] <Trebbers> dammit
[23:06] <shalabi> lol
[23:07] <shalabi> dog damnnit
[23:07] <dan2_> yo u guys...you ever think about what god spelled backwards is?
[23:07] <autarch> lol kayke
[23:07] <lhs> paul auster does
[23:07] <Trebbers> God barks like The Toolman
[23:08] <autarch> gtfo jerry
[23:08] <lhs> cucking you
[23:08] <bestoin> it's bizarre that they're still mad at him
[23:08] <autarch> kick his ass
[23:08] <kayke> they should just kick the shit out of him like they obviously want to
[23:09] <Trebbers> It's this lady's fucking fault
[23:09] <autarch> yeah these poeple are awful
[23:09] <bestoin> she left the gate open
[23:09] <Trebbers> You killed your stupid dog
[23:09] <shalabi> yeah let's be honest here
[23:09] <bestoin> cool painting, maniacs
[23:09] <lhs> heh
[23:09] <kayke> spiderman 3 boyfriend can't believe this
[23:10] <bob511> Is he confessing to intentionally running over Gabriel?
[23:10] <dan2_> "after a good long smell of a dog I came to my senses"
[23:10] <bestoin> finally learned what dogs have inside
[23:10] <kayke> true
[23:10] <kayke> you did
[23:10] <kayke> yes
[23:10] <shalabi> THANK YOU
[23:10] <autarch> THERE IT IS
[23:11] <lhs> but ultimately the blame is on gabe
[23:11] <autarch> Have fun with your wedding, fuckers. Jerry out!
[23:11] <bestoin> they should let everyone know jerry is forgiven on facebook
[23:11] <kayke> shawna you minx
[23:11] <impfriendtist_> "nice, don't have to clean the garage"
[23:11] <shalabi> what
[23:11] <bestoin> now it occurs to him that shauna didn't actually help with anything
[23:12] <impfriendtist_> "honey do we really have to go to church"
[23:12] <bob511> "Sorry, we attend this pet sematary up the path behind our house now."
[23:12] <bestoin> if they've been avoiding going through with the wedding, maybe it's for some other reason
[23:12] <dan2_> only reason Kevin Sorbo thought God was dead was because his dog's kept getting run over
[23:12] <bestoin> this is just god is dead in a mirror
[23:13] == autarch has changed nick to aubark
[23:13] <impfriendtist_> not judging but these soup kitchen patrons look fairly well off
[23:13] <lhs> hey poors
[23:14] <dan2_> "I just found a place with all the paint you can eat!"
[23:14] <shalabi> they're all actors
[23:14] <aubark> he's bringing back jobs
[23:14] <impfriendtist_> they're gonna be disappointed
[23:14] <bestoin> less than minimum wage!
[23:14] <Ampersand_> he's gonna marry that dog
[23:14] <kayke> that place was NOT that messy
[23:14] <Trebbers> These poors shop at Land's End and not J. Crew
[23:14] <bestoin> "but i'm a neurologist!"
[23:14] <kayke> I could clean that up myself in one day
[23:14] <Ampersand_> "pay us"
[23:14] <aubark> same song?
[23:14] <shalabi> great, now they lose unemployment benefits
[23:14] <bestoin> the cafe lady couldn't pay one person, but whatever the hell this is can support 20 employees
[23:14] <impfriendtist_> this is a job that would take one person like an hour
[23:15] <kayke> really needed to hire all these folks to move one lamp
[23:15] <lhs> she's going to have a lot of 1099s to fill out
[23:15] <impfriendtist_> and apparently this lady is in management
[23:15] <aubark> a poo tree?
[23:15] <kayke> I hate Willow
[23:15] <bestoin> alright, that'll be $8400
[23:15] <impfriendtist_> seriously this is smaller than my living room
[23:16] <aubark> this song is going to be drilled into my subconscious forever
[23:16] <lhs> love the extras in the background nervously twitching their hands
[23:16] <bestoin> what a rough day and a half
[23:16] <kayke> 100% completion
[23:16] <impfriendtist_> or at least until the next songs of the movie series
[23:16] <aubark> uh
[23:16] <bob511> Gabe has been running on speed for three days straight.
[23:17] <dan2_> man the Chris Pratt comparison was dead on
[23:17] <aubark> hell
[23:17] <shalabi> "look, this is all in the Bible"
[23:17] <bestoin> oh heavenly dog
[23:17] <dan2_> St. Pupper
[23:17] <aubark> "but sir. we need to get the wedding"
[23:17] <shalabi> All Dogs Somehow Escape From Heaven
[23:18] <kayke> let this elf on a shelf keep his ghost dog
[23:18] <lhs> the fantastic ending is that tara and frowny finally can have sex
[23:19] <Ampersand_> never invite a vampire dog inside
[23:19] <kayke> mom's at the grand canyon, let's paaartaaaay!
[23:20] <kayke> slightly less blue shirt today
[23:20] <bestoin> the tax man cometh
[23:20] <impfriendtist_> oh no another dog died
[23:20] <lhs> he owns the complete mossimo line
[23:20] <bob511> "Somebody stole all the gum from Bubblegum Alley!"
[23:20] <bestoin> god doesn't want this wedding to happen
[23:20] <dan2_> yeah, no way a church would have any candles
[23:21] <kayke> so they wasted all their money cleaning willow
[23:21] <kayke> 's stupid studio
[23:21] <bestoin> the magical unemployed elves of whitetown
[23:21] <impfriendtist_> not sure the soup kitchen would appreciate her giving away her labor for free
[23:21] <aubark> is this what christians are actually like?
[23:21] <impfriendtist_> fraid so
[23:21] <kayke> more like the spaghetti and muffin kitchen
[23:22] <bestoin> i think there was also a mirepoix
[23:22] <dan2_> "get the jumper cables, I bet my body is still intact"
[23:22] <kayke> it's kind of the dog's fault he died, isn't it
[23:23] <aubark> boning
[23:23] <kayke> "something we should have done a loooong time ago...kill jerry"
[23:23] <lhs> what kind of boho nightmare dress has willow made
[23:23] <bestoin> thanks for the ersatz wedding, you fucking assholes!
[23:24] <dan2_> One Two Three Four (Acoustic)
[23:24] <impfriendtist_> oh the frames were on purpose?
[23:24] <aubark> scrump wedding
[23:24] <bestoin> i hope there are a bunch of unemployed strangers at my wedding
[23:24] <aubark> this is a pottery barn wedding
[23:24] <impfriendtist_> man there's no booze here huh
[23:25] <aubark> these fucking lyrics can't be series
[23:25] <aubark> serious
[23:25] <bestoin> these lyrics
[23:25] <Trebbers> "I'd get hit by a car for you"
[23:25] <bestoin> heh
[23:25] <kayke> "you're beautiful, my beautiful"
[23:25] <Ampersand_> damn, Gabe ran over all of their friends and family prior to the wedding
[23:26] <aubark> Beautifoh-oh-oh-owwwl,
[23:26] <dan2_> thank god they had those candles, this place would be pitch black otherwise
[23:26] <aubark> this pastor's skin is haunted
[23:26] <kayke> love is a warm puppy
[23:26] <Trebbers> *cuts to an audience of dogs*
[23:26] <Ampersand_> "that last thought the runs through your synapses before the station wagon hits you"
[23:26] <kayke> yeah remind them of the dead dog, asshat
[23:26] <bestoin> god i hate pete
[23:26] <shalabi> this needs to end
[23:27] <aubark> lot of movie left, relatively speaking. enough for a break up, even.
[23:27] <bestoin> we lost them?
[23:27] <Trebbers> what
[23:27] <aubark> NO!
[23:27] <impfriendtist_> is this pup possessed by kris kristofferson though
[23:27] <aubark> you will NEVER replace our dog!
[23:27] <Trebbers> Enough time for this dog to die of worms
[23:27] <kayke> pete's sad little mouth
[23:27] <dan2_> Matrimony Buddies
[23:27] <aubark> jerry fuck off
[23:28] <Ampersand_> "my luscious daughter"
[23:28] <Trebbers> "Take my beautiful, sexy daughter"
[23:28] <lhs> heh
[23:28] <impfriendtist_> by "someone who loves you" he meant "the spirit of a dog angel embodied in a comically plump man nobody has seen before"
[23:28] <bestoin> rethink this, tara
[23:28] <Trebbers> def sounds like he's maxing in his slacks
[23:28] <aubark> this guy looks like an asshole
[23:28] <aubark> pete, that is
[23:28] <bestoin> now your lives can start
[23:28] <dan2_> was the entire crux of this that the wife wanted the wedding to be done in front of the whole community?
[23:28] <dan2_> and now nobody is actually there for the ceremony
[23:28] <Trebbers> Did he whisper 'mazel tov'?
[23:28] <Ampersand_> *pisses on the altar*
[23:29] <bestoin> pretty sad wedding
[23:29] <bob511> "Too bad everyone else was raptured."
[23:29] <Trebbers> Wearing his finest dress jeans
[23:29] <lhs> they're all eating spaghetti
[23:29] <bestoin> i hope kevin is there boxing everyone to death
[23:29] <aubark> hahaha trebs
[23:30] <dan2_> out of one big communal bowl
[23:30] <bestoin> start with this guy, kevin
[23:30] <kayke> "best band in town"
[23:30] <Ampersand_> i hate this
[23:30] <aubark> "yer wife is so fiiine"
[23:30] <Trebbers> eyah
[23:30] <dan2_> Tim's best song yet
[23:30] <Ampersand_> just walk away
[23:30] <bob511> "...walk faster, sweetie."
[23:30] <bestoin> mr. miyagi's nursery
[23:30] <Trebbers> ahah
[23:30] <aubark> there should be some kind of VR christian wedding experience based on this.
[23:30] <Trebbers> Mic sighting
[23:31] <Ampersand_> i hate looking at Pete
[23:31] <bestoin> kevin, please
[23:31] <impfriendtist_> is he ad libbing this song
[23:31] <aubark> same, amp
[23:31] <aubark> ooooooh
[23:31] <Trebbers> Feel like some of the older extras helped pay for this
[23:31] <kayke> do you think Kevin was "get out"ed
[23:31] <lhs> do you think that old guy is sick of being the town santa
[23:31] <aubark> fuck that racist
[23:32] <impfriendtist_> isn't he supposed to be photographing this
[23:32] <Trebbers> Wedding cut short by maniac dog driving a box truck
[23:32] <bestoin> maybe get oot'd, kayke
[23:32] <impfriendtist_> ha
[23:32] <shalabi> Jesus calm down
[23:32] <aubark> wtf is that guy's deal?
[23:32] <bestoin> everyone's employed!
[23:32] <Ampersand_> "i mean, my wiiiiife"
[23:32] <bestoin> everyone's doing everyone's laundry!
[23:33] <lhs> "i can only pay you in flower scraps though"
[23:33] <bestoin> welcome to the service economy!
[23:33] <Trebbers> "What's my name, so it can be included in the credits"
[23:33] <Trebbers> Does she tho
[23:33] <aubark> She treated me like shit, and for that, she deserves to be happy
[23:33] <aubark> the queeen of my heeeeeeart
[23:33] <impfriendtist_> oh god
[23:33] <Ampersand_> it's time for us chickens to get plucked
[23:33] <bestoin> jerry and pete, brothers-in-law
[23:34] <kayke> I mean, they don't look unhappy I guess
[23:34] <aubark> 7 minutes in heaven, more like
[23:34] <impfriendtist_> it is unclear whether he has a choice
[23:34] <shalabi> lol
[23:34] <lhs> what has that dog been eating
[23:34] <aubark> did the voice actor get his wisdom teeth removed earlier that week?
[23:34] <dan2_> dude just spent a month doing slave labor for total strangers, just let him in the heaven portal
[23:34] <kayke> dog dad?
[23:35] <impfriendtist_> "now, i'm off to never see you again"
[23:35] <bestoin> it's kris kristofferson, autarch
[23:35] <aubark> sucks ass, jer
[23:35] <Ampersand_> lol i kept calling the dude by the dog's name this whole time
[23:35] <Ampersand_> who is this ponytailed FREAK
[23:35] <bestoin> jerry haunting the background
[23:36] <impfriendtist_> does the bride traditionally give a speech
[23:36] <kayke> jerry want to tell them he just ran over the new dog
[23:36] <dan2_> force ghost Jerry
[23:36] <impfriendtist_> haha kayke
[23:36] <bob511> They cancelled their wedding and pressured everyone in town to shun Jerry.
[23:36] <bob511> That didn't seem like hiding it.
[23:36] <bestoin> the vet's still not paid
[23:36] <aubark> jerry is the star of someone else's wedding
[23:37] <dan2_> vet wasn't invited it seems
[23:37] <impfriendtist_> "thank you jerry for rescuing the economy of our town"
[23:37] <kayke> I just wheezed at Jerry's face
[23:37] <aubark> he creamed his pants. "gotta go"
[23:37] <kayke> that dress/necklace is awful
[23:37] <bestoin> the barter economy only got half of shauna's updo
[23:37] <kayke> she looks like a governor's wife
[23:37] <aubark> haha
[23:38] <bob511> Very sperm-and-ovum business logo.
[23:38] <Trebbers> The logo looks like something with stink lines
[23:38] <Trebbers> or that bob
[23:38] <bestoin> just $49K of restoration
[23:38] <aubark> please let there be a bomb in the trunk
[23:38] <bestoin> no big deal
[23:38] <shalabi> this is communism
[23:38] <impfriendtist_> these people are terrible at bartering
[23:38] <impfriendtist_> their economy will be back into depression within a week
[23:38] <aubark> volkswagen. the nazi company.
[23:38] <bestoin> what if this movie is actually just about being canadian
[23:39] <Trebbers> Love the aftermarket speakers
[23:39] <bestoin> and they just slapped a christian label on it for american release
[23:39] <aubark> no, that was ryan's babe, bestoin
[23:39] <Trebbers> Assume there's a sub in the trunk
[23:39] <aubark> oh fuck
[23:39] <impfriendtist_> the music is just a little too christian for it not to be purposeful
[23:39] <Ampersand_> woof
[23:39] <aubark> squirrels go 2 hell
[23:39] <dan2_> do you think the dog shit just falls through the clouds back down to earth?
[23:39] <lhs> poor squirrel is stuck in purgatory
[23:40] <bestoin> pete played by christian von krause
[23:40] <bob511> No second assistant director?
[23:40] <bestoin> very normal name
[23:40] <Trebbers> STASR CANINE
[23:40] <dan2_> naming your child Nixon
[23:40] <aubark> rafal strupinski
[23:40] <impfriendtist_> there was a character called "ian's girlfriend" with no person's name next to it
[23:40] <Trebbers> Strumpinski
[23:40] <aubark> sabrina chatterpaul
[23:40] <Trebbers> Two bookeepers
[23:40] <aubark> Joe Tetreau
[23:40] <impfriendtist_> probably a money laundering operation
[23:40] <kayke> no nicknames on this set
[23:41] <shalabi> that was an ambien of a movie
[23:41] <bob511> Wee Mops ITs
[23:41] <kayke> no nicknames in canada
[23:41] <impfriendtist_> oh it's all cory lamb songs
[23:41] <lhs> thanks, town
[23:41] <bestoin> is that a real person
[23:41] <impfriendtist_> there it is
[23:41] <dan2_> the single worst company name I've ever heard bob
[23:41] <impfriendtist_> "no animals were used in the making of this motion picture"
[23:41] <aubark> Best Friend Productions Inc
[23:41] <shalabi> Canadian tax money wasted
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Postby laserblast » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:22 am

(drudge siren)

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Postby Autarch » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:26 am

holy shit that looks amazing
Sent from my Lenovo
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:08 am

This Sunday,
anticipate the midterms with America's Favorite Undecided and Disengaged Voter
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Nov 02, 2018 4:53 pm

idk why i'm an incompetent who can't manage to successfully join two avi files together, but hey, that's me, so Sunday's film will be coming to us in two, count'em, two separate files

if anyone wants to take it upon themselves to fix this issue and re-up a single file, by all means!
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Postby goofjan » Fri Nov 02, 2018 5:06 pm

such a film cannot be contained in one single AVI file.
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby kayke » Fri Nov 02, 2018 5:12 pm

I could probably do it tbh
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Postby dan » Fri Nov 02, 2018 6:22 pm

1. Download/Open MKVtoolNix
2. Right click in Source Files box and open the first .avi
3. Right click on that .avi file and click "append files"
4. Go to the second .avi and append it
5. Hit "start multiplexing" at the bottom and you're done
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:45 am

Thanks, dan. My resignation was based on the fact that I’m away from my computer until tonight.

I’ll fix the file and up it to both boxes late tonight.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 10:24 am

Tonight!
A SWING VOTE AND A MISS!
Check the db for the (full, single) file/ballot.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:55 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight!
A SWING VOTE AND A MISS!
Check the db for the (full, single) file/ballot.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:01 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:Tonight!
A SWING VOTE AND A MISS!
Check the db for the (full, single) file/ballot.
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 9:16 pm

two hour voting deadline!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 10:53 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Swing Vote
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https://webchat.freenode.net/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:06 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Swing Vote
Image
https://webchat.freenode.net/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Nov 05, 2018 1:18 am

Code: Select all
[22:12] <Ampersand> 3
[22:12] <Ampersand> 2
[22:12] <Ampersand> 1
[22:12] <besoin> 12 lanes?? is this manhattan?
[22:12] <autarch> hopefully costner will maybe find a way for democrats and republicans to get along
[22:12] <dan2> Flyover, Kansas
[22:12] <kayke> welcome to textile co
[22:12] <autarch> i fucking hate movies set in rural areas
[22:12] <Shalabi> this shit is 2 hours??
[22:12] <autarch> astronaut farmer vibes
[22:13] <Shalabi> I'm gonna die
[22:13] <impdentist_> is this going to be one of those ones where we don't know who's in which party and they don't have any policy stances
[22:13] <dan2> I've seen this before but I blocked the whole thing from memory
[22:13] <Trebbers> Takes a long time to decide Shalabi
[22:13] <bob511> This cast
[22:13] <lhs> is this getting like 20 fps for anyone else
[22:13] <autarch> look at all those beer cans
[22:13] <autarch> guy's a total deadbeat
[22:13] <besoin> working fine for me, lhs
[22:14] <kayke> can I get time, I paused like a goof ball
[22:14] <Ampersand> 2:05
[22:14] <autarch> 2:05
[22:14] <dan2> Child is the Costner of Man
[22:14] <autarch> 2:30
[22:14] <Ampersand> why.... is his TV above his bed?
[22:14] <besoin> it's like a backlit photo of a waterfall
[22:14] <Trebbers> Yeah
[22:15] <Ampersand> that's worse
[22:15] <besoin> that's there to tell us he's salt of the earth tacky
[22:15] <Trebbers> Some of those have sand that flows between glass
[22:15] <kayke> thank
[22:15] <kayke> s
[22:15] <autarch> looks like a car commercial
[22:15] <Trebbers> Are they going to explain his 12 year old wife
[22:15] <besoin> why would he have a bass pro shops hat
[22:15] <besoin> those are only in major metros
[22:15] <Shalabi> damn it Trebbers, I was typing that
[22:15] <kayke> this girl looks like she'd kick my ass in 4th grade
[22:15] <impdentist_> it was from his vacation to albuquerque
[22:15] <autarch> plus, not much water around
[22:16] <autarch> "mom"
[22:16] <besoin> is gramps lying flat in the bed of the truck
[22:16] <Shalabi> I bet that registration fraud comes up again
[22:16] <Ampersand> Based on one weird trick by The Founding Fathers
[22:16] <dan2> maybe purging the rolls isn't so bad after all...
[22:16] <autarch> this man has nothing to offer his daughter
[22:17] <besoin> "i want to me the mayor of margaritaville"
[22:17] <besoin> *be
[22:17] <Shalabi> an über driver would raise her better
[22:17] <besoin> it might change that, kev
[22:17] <Trebbers> waht the fuck
[22:17] <Ampersand> no way anyone would buy his blood
[22:17] <autarch> that was fucked
[22:18] <impdentist_> this is 2008 ftr
[22:18] <Ampersand> even vampires would think twice
[22:18] <Shalabi> they pay him to keep his blood out of the donations
[22:18] <dan2> the wiki page says this is set in "an alternate 2008"
[22:18] <kayke> Is this a dirty grandpa-verse movie
[22:18] <Trebbers> helpful
[22:18] <dan2> Dirty Voter
[22:18] <Ampersand> lol
[22:18] <besoin> this music
[22:18] <Trebbers> Oh no these chickens are going ot vote
[22:19] <bob511> So poor, he can't even keep her in non-torn jeans.
[22:19] <lhs> meanwhile in breaking bad
[22:19] <Shalabi> quite the needle drop
[22:19] <kayke> mmm eggs
[22:19] <autarch> oh ggeez
[22:19] <autarch> this is fucked up
[22:19] <besoin> nobody in new mexico is this stupid
[22:19] <Ampersand> import some razors to shave off this facial hair
[22:19] <Shalabi> this was a This American Life episode
[22:19] <Trebbers> I can't even read the eggs anymore
[22:19] <besoin> it's always been majority mexican
[22:19] <kayke> they're importing chickens to lay our eggs!
[22:19] <dan2> Morgan Spurlock got radicalized
[22:20] <Ampersand> lol
[22:20] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:20] <Shalabi> he's a radical centrist
[22:20] <Ampersand> aaagh
[22:20] <Trebbers> Oh noooooo
[22:20] <besoin> tossed salad and scrambled egg farm
[22:20] <kayke> the tissue test
[22:20] <lhs> heh
[22:20] <Trebbers> Tooch is loose
[22:20] <autarch> ok
[22:20] <dan2> cringe all you want, this is reality 12 years from now
[22:20] <impdentist_> yikes
[22:20] <Ampersand> wowza
[22:20] <autarch> it's reality now
[22:21] <Shalabi> Jamie, pull up that video of Kelsey falling off the stage
[22:21] <Trebbers> "Like a...space force"
[22:21] <besoin> something tells me reality now is much worse than anything this envisioned
[22:21] <Ampersand> yeah, the civility really sets this apart
[22:21] <autarch> hope and change, but close
[22:21] <dan2> I just meant Grammer will be pres
[22:22] <Shalabi> oof
[22:22] <Ampersand> too much
[22:22] <Shalabi> his name is Donald
[22:22] <Trebbers> Just wearing the beast costume for no reason
[22:22] <autarch> pence?
[22:22] <impdentist_> oh no his name is donald??
[22:22] <impdentist_> fuck
[22:22] <bob511> Greenleaf is Hopper's name AND platform.
[22:22] <autarch> looks like pence
[22:22] <Trebbers> ah
[22:22] <kayke> "galina"?
[22:22] <besoin> gallina
[22:22] <besoin> she lays the eggs
[22:22] <autarch> actually would be sick if they painted it to look like a rainbow
[22:22] <autarch> if i was pres, i'd do that.
[22:23] <Trebbers> Lota noise from those 50 people
[22:23] <besoin> a little spanish humor for you
[22:23] <Shalabi> getting a very Sean Hannity feel from his looks and voice
[22:23] <Trebbers> Blogosmear
[22:23] <autarch> i want president davidson
[22:24] <bob511> An essay and a book report due in consecutive days?
[22:24] <impdentist_> i think i saw this actual voting ad on twitter earlier
[22:24] <bob511> Tough teacher.
[22:24] <dan2> Gambling problem? Nudist camp? boy scandals like those would sink any candidate
[22:24] <lhs> from bondage to vore
[22:24] <besoin> curve buster
[22:24] <Trebbers> Teacher hanging in the corner
[22:25] <kayke> slow news day
[22:25] <Trebbers> Yes, that news staple
[22:25] <Shalabi> drowning in precociousness
[22:26] <dan2> "1800 people to run a single egg plant seems a bit excessive"
[22:26] <Ampersand> "it's January"
[22:26] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:26] <kayke> this sounds like my work ethic
[22:26] <Trebbers> what the fuck are they doing
[22:27] <kayke> I hope when I get fired they play me a blooper reel
[22:27] <dan2> love the egg on the dek
[22:27] <dan2> desk
[22:27] <autarch> dan2, they're talking about a building where they process eggs, not the vegetable called egg plant
[22:27] <Trebbers> Is he soliciting for a sexual favor
[22:27] <bob511> "....have you tried my blood?"
[22:27] <kayke> lol
[22:27] <autarch> these lyrics
[22:27] <dan2> even still, 1800 people working on a single eggplant is simply too much
[22:28] <autarch> are we supposed to not hate this character?
[22:28] <Trebbers> "Is she missing!?!"
[22:28] <Shalabi> lol
[22:28] <bob511> Air-conditioned beer.
[22:28] <autarch> get that DUI, son'=
[22:28] <besoin> now he has that phenomenon disease
[22:28] <impdentist_> "you must be THIS tall to drive"
[22:28] <Shalabi> this is the weirdest music
[22:28] <Trebbers> ah
[22:29] <Trebbers> is he stroking out
[22:29] <kayke> classic french clown music
[22:29] <impdentist_> how late are the polls open
[22:29] <Ampersand> the posse in this town owns everything
[22:29] <besoin> was he supposed to meet her at the bingo hall?
[22:29] <Shalabi> just tossing out some votes
[22:29] <Trebbers> Script written when people didn't all have cell phones
[22:29] <Ampersand> wow is she going to do a voter fraud
[22:29] <autarch> lol
[22:30] <Trebbers> LOCK HER UP
[22:30] <besoin> has kris kobach seen this
[22:30] <kayke> wow I didn't know voter fraud was whimsical and adorable
[22:30] <Shalabi> she joined the new black panthers right before this
[22:30] <autarch> hell yeah, she rips
[22:30] <Ampersand> Earnest Votes Independent
[22:31] <Trebbers> Slacker could have grabbed some more ballots
[22:31] <autarch> hahaha that sound effect
[22:31] <dan2> show this to James Woods and watch him blow a gasket
[22:31] <Shalabi> magical voting machine
[22:31] <besoin> fraud interrupted
[22:31] <autarch> Zoltar voting machine
[22:31] <Shalabi> error 1826922 means Russia is hacking in
[22:31] <Trebbers> All she wants is a president that will fucking audit the Fed
[22:32] <autarch> she's a ron paul head?
[22:32] <besoin> she's doing all the stuff people are afraid undocumented immigrants will do
[22:32] <besoin> voting, driving without a license
[22:32] <Trebbers> the signs are all there
[22:32] <lhs> writing essays
[22:33] <autarch> holy shit yes
[22:33] <kayke> taking a lot of bullshit from white men
[22:33] <Ampersand> mom lives in prison, and even still
[22:33] <lhs> mom is dead
[22:33] <Shalabi> Texaco?
[22:33] <Shalabi> the gas station?
[22:33] <lhs> texico, new mexico
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[22:34] <besoin> so we have a hanging kev
[22:34] <Ampersand> wait, are they calling everyone in new mexico?
[22:34] <autarch> tuck gtfo
[22:34] <Shalabi> Fuck Tuck
[22:34] <Ampersand> no precedent, no president
[22:34] <autarch> carville also gtfo please
[22:34] <dan2> just a parade of mutants
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[22:34] <kayke> love TV store windows
[22:34] <autarch> who's she?
[22:35] <Ampersand> it's almost like it's impossible!
[22:35] <besoin> oh no
[22:35] <Shalabi> yikes
[22:35] <Trebbers> what
[22:35] <autarch> oh shit george lopez
[22:35] <bob511> Why would a county be "too close to call" for a presidential election?
[22:35] <autarch> bob, idk
[22:35] <Shalabi> nobody knows how elections work tbh
[22:35] <kayke> arresting the little girl for grand theft auto and driving without a license
[22:35] <besoin> the idea that the government would work this hard to ensure a fair result is pretty fantastical!
[22:36] <Ampersand> l-o-l
[22:36] <bob511> New Mexico Secretary of State Mister Me.
[22:36] <Shalabi> incredible
[22:36] <besoin> hi duck
[22:36] <Shalabi> wait they're already inside?
[22:36] <autarch> no phone?
[22:36] <Ampersand> "but you live on a soundstage"
[22:36] <Shalabi> did they park the police car inside the house?
[22:37] <Trebbers> Red Headed Strangers
[22:37] <Trebbers> A Willie Tribute
[22:37] <kayke> "she's just... my mom"
[22:37] <bob511> "But, uh, we'll be calling them immediately."
[22:37] <Shalabi> lol
[22:37] <lhs> one kiss for yes
[22:37] <autarch> "Mr. Johnson, have you ever heard of the movie Swing Vote? Well you're in it"
[22:38] <kayke> lol
[22:38] <bob511> Special Agent Brian Kemp here.
[22:38] <autarch> It all comes down to one shit ass white male
[22:38] <Trebbers> Wait, that's not how it works is it
[22:39] <Ampersand> "it's our duty to inform you that you've been disenfranchised"
[22:39] <impdentist> does he get to be president??
[22:39] <autarch> "gimme the quran pls"
[22:39] <Trebbers> Also, how is this dude not a felon
[22:39] <besoin> white welfare
[22:39] <autarch> Is that the official pledge?
[22:39] <Ampersand> this movie would be 100% better if he was Jim Varney and the daughter was Rimshot
[22:40] <Shalabi> was Jim still alive when this came out
[22:40] <Trebbers> seriously they should be paying the estate of Jim varney
[22:40] <Ampersand> nah
[22:40] <Trebbers> No, died early 2000s
[22:40] <Shalabi> :(
[22:40] <kayke> wait is the lady the reporter from the school? is that what's happening?
[22:40] <autarch> yeah maybe she's stalking the girl
[22:41] <autarch> a day? no, he's gonna milk it.
[22:41] <kayke> taxi co. new maxi co.
[22:42] <autarch> oh christ, she's a biblethumper?
[22:42] <Shalabi> I think she's a Pencepumper
[22:43] <autarch> "unfortunately, she hates you"
[22:43] <besoin> why did they call paula patton about her ballot? was that supposed to mean something?
[22:43] <bob511> "So could you be out of town next week?"
[22:43] <lhs> ha ha you know i can't write
[22:44] <Shalabi> "sir please stop cursing"
[22:45] <lhs> he's vin dieseling
[22:45] <Trebbers> Vin Diesel level of s
[22:45] <Trebbers> fuck
[22:45] <Shalabi> lol
[22:45] <Trebbers> Talk about putting a target on your back
[22:46] <Trebbers> "I thought I was going bang this shithole"?
[22:46] <autarch> didn't she already break the story?
[22:47] <autarch> gba sp?
[22:47] <Trebbers> 1:24 before this dude decides
[22:47] <autarch> a big story in albuquerque
[22:47] <autarch> *a big star in albuquerque
[22:47] <impdentist> austin is not very close to new mexico
[22:47] <autarch> "the queen of albuquerque"
[22:48] <autarch> wtf
[22:48] <Trebbers> She looked like fucking garbage before
[22:48] <Shalabi> yeah, I mean what
[22:48] <autarch> jaw hits the floor and he has to crank it back up
[22:48] <autarch> george's eyes pop out of head and turn into hearts
[22:49] <Trebbers> registered independant
[22:49] <autarch> dude votes for vermin supreme
[22:49] <lhs> he's going to write in daffy douchebag masturbation
[22:49] <kayke> the only usable footage from the interview
[22:49] <dan2> that 1 second was the only usable footage they could salvage from the interview
[22:49] <impdentist> seriously what is with the tv
[22:49] <dan2> ah kayke
[22:49] <besoin> it's not a tv!
[22:49] <bob511> It's New Mexico, so probably just Gary Johnson
[22:49] <Trebbers> NOT A TV
[22:49] <Shalabi> kinda tired of the "waking with delirium tremons" scenes
[22:49] <besoin> you upperclass bastards
[22:50] <Shalabi> surely they can't do that
[22:50] <bob511> By law, if he sees his shadow, there are six more weeks of campaigning.
[22:50] <Trebbers> Maybe the real enemy is the media
[22:50] <impdentist> haha
[22:50] <kayke> lol
[22:50] <lhs> heh
[22:50] <dan2> lol
[22:50] <autarch> trebbers
[22:50] <dan2> Ernest??
[22:51] <bob511> Light the mesa on fire?
[22:51] <Trebbers> I really don't like how they make everything look like it's from 1985
[22:51] <autarch> wait, how is this bad? he has so much leverage
[22:52] <Trebbers> Expecting to see an 8-track in the corner
[22:52] <impdentist> he would have just voted for ron paul and this wouldn't have happened
[22:52] <Shalabi> this is what Hollywood limousine liberals think poor people live like
[22:52] <autarch> "sorry I put you in a great situation where you're temporarily the most powerful person in the world"
[22:52] <kayke> call the cops- oh wait phones don
[22:52] <kayke> 't exist
[22:52] <bob511> Going to flip on his daughter.
[22:52] <Shalabi> uhhh
[22:52] <Trebbers> Wait he is a felon
[22:52] <dan2> multiple felon
[22:52] <impdentist> there's a deus ex machina for you
[22:53] <Trebbers> Just want the ending to be that he flips on the daughter
[22:53] <Shalabi> Moby!
[22:53] <autarch> is this moby?
[22:53] <autarch> unexpected
[22:53] <besoin> what a circus!
[22:54] <kayke> mtv?
[22:54] <besoin> the new york times and their news van
[22:54] <Shalabi> media just ignores all the rules!
[22:54] <lhs> this has quite a goof page on imdb
[22:54] <Trebbers> Does it just list the run time
[22:54] <besoin> isn't it illegal for them to try to influence voters in person
[22:54] <Trebbers> No
[22:54] <besoin> they make those people with signs stay x yards from the polls
[22:54] <Trebbers> You can't campaign in a poling place
[22:54] <impdentist> is nathan lane supposed to be steve bannon
[22:55] <autarch> read? yeah right
[22:55] <bob511> I think he's doing Dick Morris.
[22:55] <dan2> Hopper is gonna ring his doorbell with a cinder block sized brick of weed
[22:55] <dan2> instant victory
[22:55] <Shalabi> gay panic
[22:55] <kayke> I thought from the trailer that nathan lane was going to be our first gay president and that's the only thing I was invested in
[22:56] <kayke> I can't believe he's just a campaign manager
[22:56] <Trebbers> Oh his band was the Half Nelsons
[22:57] <autarch> that rules
[22:57] <Shalabi> he could just vote today...
[22:57] <dan2> music makes me think Ben Franklin is gonna stroll in to explain the constitution to him
[22:58] <lhs> interview her to find out if she accuses her parents
[22:58] <Ampersand> Bud's a little Lite
[22:58] <kayke> the daughter was trying to vote for jill stein
[22:58] <Trebbers> Vote for Brats
[22:58] <Shalabi> I kinda believe this would actually happen
[22:59] <impdentist> outback steakhouse is a major political player
[22:59] <Trebbers> Oh fuck it's Gravedigger
[22:59] <Trebbers> ahaha Richard Petty
[22:59] <impdentist> this is incredibly stupid
[23:00] <Trebbers> Pandering to the Nascar crowd
[23:00] <Shalabi> NASCAR DADS!
[23:00] <autarch> no it isn't, impdentist
[23:00] <autarch> THIS RULES
[23:00] <kayke> I hope lighting mcqueen shows up
[23:00] <besoin> surely no one would follow them
[23:01] <impdentist> what is richard petty's one issue that he wants to convince kevin on
[23:01] <impdentist> also what kind of stock car has a back seat
[23:01] <besoin> hating blacks
[23:01] <Shalabi> peg gas prices at 2.50
[23:01] <impdentist> "kevin, i want to tell you about white genocide"
[23:01] <autarch> music should've switched to bachman turner overdrive when petty said "you aint seen nothin yet"
[23:01] <autarch> haha imp
[23:02] <kayke> Mr Bud
[23:02] <besoin> he's not helping with this "show respect" stuff
[23:02] <impdentist> he was watching new mexico local news on election night
[23:03] <lhs> word spread quickly to the blogosmear
[23:04] <Shalabi> ok now we're in illegal territory
[23:04] <kayke> a bur
[23:04] <autarch> kavannaugh time
[23:04] <Trebbers> "I don't have friends"
[23:04] <besoin> this movie is beneath stanley tucci
[23:05] <Trebbers> no it's not
[23:05] <dan2> a good window into what a Romney presidency would have been like
[23:05] <autarch> wtf
[23:06] <lhs> the vice president is the mascot costume
[23:06] <autarch> wtf
[23:06] <Trebbers> Hell yes, nuke anywhere you want bruh
[23:06] <autarch> nuke em, bud
[23:06] <impdentist> isn't the guy supposed to be handcuffed to that
[23:06] <Trebbers> Down by 5
[23:06] <kayke> use a coaster!
[23:06] <dan2> "you get to nuke one country now and one country when you vote for me, deal?"
[23:06] <Shalabi> Bernie?
[23:07] <impdentist> he does look sort of like gerald ford
[23:07] <impdentist> actually a lot like gerald ford
[23:07] <Shalabi> it's not full of nukes
[23:07] <kayke> if it's a song and dance they should give it to nathan lane
[23:08] <besoin> heh
[23:08] <Trebbers> Just wondering what the Prez has on Richard Petty now
[23:08] <lhs> please be called shamproosident
[23:08] <Ampersand> lol
[23:08] <dan2> he's not being coy, he was wasted that whole time
[23:08] <autarch> geothermal nuclear war?
[23:08] <autarch> "andy invited me to watch the game and we're gonna kiss"
[23:09] <kayke> this movie is too long, I need a snack
[23:09] <autarch> willie hekll ya
[23:09] <Shalabi> I'm out of beer
[23:09] <autarch> cheech
[23:10] <bob511> The rare opening-credits as-himself.
[23:10] <autarch> looks like pritzker
[23:11] <Shalabi> "they want to open the border, DAD"
[23:11] <impdentist> is that dennis kucinich
[23:11] <besoin> they went to all this trouble to tailor it to bud, but they all wore tuxedos
[23:11] <autarch> an all-you-can-listen willie bar?
[23:11] <Ampersand> this is even more depressing than regular electoral politics
[23:11] <dan2> typical out of touch liberals besoin
[23:11] <Trebbers> Wait how
[23:12] <Shalabi> um
[23:12] <impdentist> a 7-person willie nelson tribute band
[23:12] <autarch> HOW HOW HOW HOW
[23:12] <Trebbers> Tom Baker
[23:12] <dan2> lol
[23:12] <besoin> huh?
[23:12] <Shalabi> what
[23:12] <Shalabi> the fuck
[23:12] <impdentist> I'LL VOTE FOR ANYTHING THAT MOOOOOVES
[23:13] <autarch> costner's goatee is fucking me up rn
[23:13] <besoin> heh, imp
[23:13] <besoin> let's hope we get five minutes of this song
[23:13] <Shalabi> this could have been cut
[23:13] <autarch> no it couldn't have, Shalabi
[23:14] <autarch> HERE WE GO
[23:14] <Trebbers> no the hat
[23:14] <Shalabi> ughghhg
[23:14] <kayke> what did I walk back into
[23:14] <besoin> i'm concerned that you like terrible stuff too much, autarch
[23:14] <autarch> Why do you think i watch these movies?
[23:14] <dan2> wait how did the stage band know this song
[23:14] <impdentist> i assume willie will show up in a second
[23:14] <Ampersand> "if you ever want some other music, i've got lots of cds"
[23:15] <autarch> "bud, it's me willie. we should rock out some time"
[23:15] <Ampersand> aaagh
[23:15] <Ampersand> no thank you, cameraman
[23:15] <kayke> oh no
[23:15] <Trebbers> 'here's a cover. Ice-T's Cop Killa
[23:16] <dan2> "and a fellow felon!"
[23:16] <autarch> angler saxon
[23:16] <dan2> lol
[23:16] <Trebbers> Purple shakey worm
[23:17] <lhs> i can't hear the dialog over this celery and that suits me just fine
[23:17] <autarch> anyone remember the Willie cameo at the end of beerfest?
[23:17] == impdentist_ [aecf0098@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.207.0.152] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[23:17] <kayke> those cheeto martinis look good
[23:17] <besoin> ben shapiro spying
[23:18] <Trebbers> They're saying Boo-ne
[23:18] <dan2> lol
[23:18] <autarch> big jacket
[23:19] <lhs> he's going to be appointed king of the moon and have puerto rico removed from the US before this is done
[23:19] <impdentist_> all his strongest supporters were only backing him because they wanted less clean water
[23:19] == impdentist [aecf0098@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.207.0.152] has quit [Ping timeout: 256 seconds]
[23:19] <autarch> great taste, less filling
[23:19] <kayke> get the budweiser frogs!
[23:19] <autarch> seriously
[23:19] <autarch> he is bud
[23:20] <besoin> this is the origin story to waterworld
[23:20] <Shalabi> gettin drunk
[23:20] <autarch> also, steve dildarian made those frogs
[23:20] <autarch> *lizards
[23:20] <besoin> they're gonna flood the whole world rediverting the pecos
[23:20] <impdentist_> why do i know this guy
[23:20] <autarch> bombs.
[23:20] <Ampersand> so many bombs
[23:20] <autarch> all of them
[23:20] <Shalabi> lol
[23:20] <autarch> anthrax
[23:20] <dan2> now she has to teach him how to read
[23:20] <Ampersand> "bourbon"
[23:21] <kayke> "my daughter, when I'm drunk"
[23:21] <lhs> heh
[23:21] <Trebbers> Man, George Lopez blowing out his voice there
[23:21] <Shalabi> oh no
[23:21] <autarch> oh christ
[23:22] <besoin> jkekjskjlsd
[23:22] <autarch> i hate this
[23:22] <Shalabi> QANON soon
[23:22] <impdentist_> "that issue would be paternal visitation rights"
[23:22] <Ampersand> oh no
[23:22] <impdentist_> christ
[23:22] <autarch> this is awful
[23:22] <Shalabi> yuck
[23:22] <autarch> this is really not cool
[23:22] <Trebbers> Is this a false flag
[23:22] <autarch> this is bad
[23:23] <Shalabi> oof
[23:23] <kayke> what about the love shack!
[23:23] <Ampersand> jfc
[23:23] <besoin> good advice, really
[23:23] <autarch> fuck this movie
[23:23] <besoin> as has been shown
[23:23] <Trebbers> this is the fucking worst
[23:23] <autarch> fuck costner.
[23:23] <autarch> fuck costner to death
[23:23] <Ampersand> prescient, tho
[23:23] <autarch> she doesn't have to answer. what is she insane?
[23:24] <impdentist_> that's the bud burger?
[23:24] <besoin> why doesn't the daughter just tell him who to vote for
[23:24] <besoin> she must have chosen someone when she voted that night
[23:24] <Shalabi> besoin she's a centrist
[23:24] <autarch> because she's a sovereign citizen
[23:24] <dan2> each chip is $500 million
[23:25] <impdentist_> "it sucks"
[23:25] <impdentist_> ah man
[23:25] <autarch> what are they blind?
[23:25] <kayke> ew
[23:25] <impdentist_> why would people magazine do that
[23:25] <Ampersand> Nick Nolte is PISSED
[23:25] <impdentist_> what do they have to gaine
[23:25] <dan2> I'd take Bud over Blake Shelton
[23:25] <Shalabi> oh shit
[23:25] <autarch> jesus
[23:25] <kayke> has it been 10 days yet?
[23:25] <autarch> "kill journalisrts"
[23:26] <Shalabi> this is out of control
[23:26] <impdentist_> what the
[23:26] <autarch> she's gonna be my new mom
[23:26] <besoin> she's gonna of mice and men him
[23:26] <Ampersand> his style is larry the cable guy chic
[23:26] <bob511> Outside, in the kitchen.
[23:27] <autarch> jfc costner
[23:27] <Ampersand> he has looked at her breasts 40 times in the last minute
[23:28] <autarch> ew
[23:28] <Shalabi> ...
[23:29] <autarch> :?
[23:29] <lhs> the most vile tolerance
[23:29] <lhs> irl the cia would just assassinate him, right
[23:29] <Ampersand> fuck
[23:29] <impdentist_> oh no
[23:29] <autarch> jesus
[23:29] <Shalabi> I'm dying
[23:29] <autarch> thisi s really dated
[23:29] <kayke> this makes me want to get gay divorced
[23:30] <besoin> that's not 12 lanes
[23:30] <autarch> wow a great bowler.
[23:30] <Ampersand> Paula Patton do not fall for this monster
[23:30] <autarch> "no"
[23:30] <Ampersand> just use him for your career
[23:30] <impdentist_> uh oh
[23:30] <besoin> she fell for robin thicke, so anything's possible
[23:30] <Trebbers> Really, this should have just been a Ronnie Dobbs sketch on Mr. Show
[23:30] <lhs> whatever a king fetus wants to do in its womb castle
[23:30] <kayke> lol
[23:30] <Shalabi> bad movie
[23:31] <Shalabi> Hopper is audience surragate
[23:31] <impdentist_> this really does read like a mr show script
[23:31] <Ampersand> like us, he's still going through with it
[23:31] <Ampersand> holy shit
[23:31] <kayke> hahahahahaha
[23:31] <lhs> much better
[23:31] <dan2> Mr. President, I don't feel so good
[23:31] <kayke> omg
[23:31] <besoin> did bud come out against abortion?
[23:31] <Trebbers> ahahahhahhaa
[23:31] <bob511> Thanos snapping with both hands.
[23:31] <kayke> OMG
[23:31] <autarch> uh what?
[23:32] <kayke> "I love abortion!"
[23:32] <besoin> was i daydreaming? i don't remember him saying anything about abortion
[23:32] <Ampersand> this feels identical to the time traveling Ben Franklin teaches us about the Constitution movie
[23:32] <Trebbers> Have jobs, give jobs
[23:32] <kayke> he accidentally said he was pro life because he doesn't know what words mean
[23:32] <besoin> did that happen on camera though?
[23:32] <dan2> can't ruin something that always sucked
[23:33] <autarch> wake her up, bud. tell her how america is already hell
[23:33] <kayke> yeah
[23:33] <besoin> guess i disassociated
[23:33] <kayke> lol
[23:33] <impdentist_> this is what happens when you pander to centrists and try to reach across the aisle
[23:33] <impdentist_> a cautionary tale for our time
[23:33] <autarch> drag him, mol
[23:33] <besoin> just tell him who to vote for!
[23:33] <dan2> this house would unquestionably be bugged by Pres. Boone
[23:34] <impdentist_> do you think it's possible that was the only willie nelson appearance we'll get
[23:34] <autarch> what's with this bud economy?
[23:35] <autarch> got deer?
[23:35] <besoin> noooooooooo
[23:35] <kayke> look at all those pretzels
[23:35] <kayke> this is a fancy bar
[23:35] <Ampersand> just when we thought it couldn't get worse
[23:35] <Shalabi> fuck
[23:35] <impdentist_> how is bill maher the only sensible person here
[23:35] <autarch> fuck this creep
[23:35] <Shalabi> I don't know who to believe!
[23:36] <autarch> cut it before he talks about muslims
[23:36] <dan2> 200 people in the bar and nobody shoots the screen with a revolver?
[23:36] <dan2> I call foul
[23:36] <impdentist_> they have real time on in this bar
[23:36] <autarch> slap him\
[23:36] <autarch> yes
[23:36] <bob511> Oh, Nana Visitor.
[23:36] <kayke> momma tell him
[23:36] <bob511> He must have equivocated on the occupation of Bajor.
[23:36] <dan2> Flip flHopper
[23:36] <lhs> heh
[23:37] <impdentist_> could they just send this to the house of reps and get it over with
[23:37] <autarch> mmmmmm
[23:37] <dan2> can't even cook a rudimentary meal
[23:37] <autarch> "no"
[23:37] <dan2> cool dad
[23:37] <besoin> has it not been 10 days yet
[23:38] <kayke> this movie is in real time
[23:38] <autarch> stfu molly. i'm too dumb.
[23:38] <besoin> this would have been so much better with travolta
[23:38] <bob511> Yeah, I don't think he should be speaking for anyone.
[23:38] <besoin> for shit flick purposes i mean
[23:38] <autarch> yeah travolta would've been great here
[23:39] <lhs> the climax is costner scowling at a can of president's choice beer and throwing it into the grand canyon
[23:39] <autarch> every time they say bud, pretend they're saying butt
[23:39] <kayke> a bag of cats
[23:39] <bob511> Would have expected Boss to be a much more Machiavellian president.
[23:39] <autarch> idk our whole strategy on this whole butt thing
[23:40] <impdentist_> "we should go back to definitely polluting rivers"
[23:40] <besoin> are they allowed to offer jobs in exchange for votes, shalabi
[23:41] <dan2> so are they going to show what he's done?
[23:41] <besoin> if that security guy is always cleaning, why is it still such a mess
[23:41] <kayke> new dad alert
[23:41] <autarch> cuz bud is the king of his own castle, besoin
[23:42] <besoin> is that david spade
[23:42] <kayke> joedirt
[23:42] <impdentist_> what a depressing concept
[23:42] <autarch> jesus
[23:42] <autarch> parade your unemployed dad around town day
[23:43] <besoin> love the murderers row of dads in the back
[23:43] <kayke> "this is my new dad - the security guard who cleans our house"
[23:43] <dan2> "but his best is really really really shit"
[23:43] <dan2> "every single one of your worsts is infinitely better than his best"
[23:43] <autarch> when has he ever expressed that?
[23:43] <besoin> TELL HIM WHO TO VOTE FOR
[23:43] <Shalabi> the other 3/4 of this movie says otherwise
[23:44] <Ampersand> lying for your dad is hard
[23:44] <dan2> "for himself"
[23:44] <autarch> "but he's too dumb"
[23:44] <autarch> lol dan
[23:44] <kayke> her dad wants to make this country a beer battered place
[23:45] <autarch> no they don't
[23:45] <bob511> Too dumb to bribe.
[23:46] <autarch> make bud president
[23:46] <autarch> i hope that's how it ends
[23:46] <lhs> it is NOT okay
[23:46] <besoin> skim milk is NOT okay
[23:47] <impdentist_> she asked for whiskey
[23:47] <autarch> "only skim? fuckin liberals"
[23:47] <Shalabi> here we go
[23:47] <Shalabi> comeuppance at last!
[23:47] <bob511> The waffle phone?
[23:47] <besoin> tsk
[23:48] <lhs> molly, your dad said i could
[23:48] <kayke> delete the footage bb, you already said some incriminating shit
[23:48] <impdentist_> forgot about this kid
[23:48] <besoin> paula patton's character is so random
[23:48] <autarch> hey, they gave him a line
[23:48] <Ampersand> BREAK THE CODE
[23:48] <impdentist_> great sound quality
[23:48] <lhs> how did she put a mic on her
[23:49] <besoin> this is one enormous trailer
[23:49] <dan2> he made 200k a year stacking eggs
[23:49] <lhs> more felonies
[23:49] <autarch> lol lhs
[23:50] <Ampersand> Jeb!
[23:50] <impdentist_> nobody tell kevin he's black
[23:50] <Shalabi> \0/ JEB
[23:50] <dan2> that decides the vote right there
[23:50] <kayke> just let this guy be her dad
[23:50] <besoin> given that mare winningham was in the picture, i can guess too
[23:51] <autarch> good song
[23:51] <autarch> wtf he drove?
[23:51] <Trebbers> lol
[23:51] <besoin> jesus, 20 minutes left
[23:52] <kayke> they do drivers ed a little early in new mexico
[23:52] <autarch> yeah, these last 10 minutes have been years
[23:52] <dan2> Samantha Bee?
[23:52] <impdentist_> what's ok kevin
[23:52] <besoin> pretty bad situation for jed
[23:52] <autarch> still can't believe jed drove
[23:53] <autarch> yeah seriously
[23:53] <Trebbers> he convinced both dudes to lower the age to drive, so it's ok
[23:54] <besoin> she hasn't seen the news?
[23:54] <kayke> so dad is a better parent because he's willing to let his daughter take care of him?
[23:54] <autarch> yeah
[23:54] <impdentist_> roll credits
[23:54] <Ampersand> it's a low bar
[23:55] <lhs> and because alcohol is more socially acceptable than pills
[23:55] <besoin> molly, for the love of god, just tell him who to vote for
[23:55] <autarch> jed rules
[23:55] <dan2> just let Jed run the country
[23:55] <autarch> willie needs to make a cameo NOW!
[23:56] <autarch> first step, beer
[23:56] <Trebbers> What the hell
[23:56] <Shalabi> hmm
[23:57] <Shalabi> so nothing in this movie mattered at all
[23:57] <autarch> if horny bud gets the newslady, I'm gonna be pissed
[23:57] <Trebbers> "I forgot who I was. I thought I cared about the truth for a second"
[23:57] <lhs> heh
[23:57] <dan2> "I'm afraid MS-13 are going to take over my cabin"
[23:57] <Shalabi> look at these honest, stoic politicians
[23:58] <impdentist_> feel like this movie is another reason people don't vote
[23:58] <Shalabi> they just want to do what's right for america
[23:58] <Trebbers> Pres camping out in AF1 for 10 days
[23:58] <impdentist_> is kelsey grammer married in this
[23:58] <autarch> because they're too busy being entertained by this wonderful film, impdentist?
[23:58] <bob511> It's just going to be ninety minutes of questions about the JFK assassination.
[23:58] <besoin> heh
[23:58] <autarch> lol
[23:58] <besoin> back and to the center
[23:58] <autarch> holy shit that horse
[23:58] <autarch> that was insanee
[23:59] <besoin> it wasn't on maps?
[23:59] <Trebbers> "He's ceded his vote to a horse!"
[23:59] <autarch> is anyone else seeing that horse?
[23:59] <bob511> Presidential Debate and Rodeo
[23:59] <autarch> he said cum
[23:59] <besoin> fuck the founding fathers
[23:59] <Shalabi> uh
[23:59] <bob511> That hairpiece, Lawrence.
[00:00] <Trebbers> "I'm not smiling" - Ben Franklin
[00:00] <Trebbers> stage left
[00:00] <dan2> winner is whoever stays on the bronco longest
[00:00] <besoin> this movie should end just in time for election day
[00:00] <bob511> I assume the first candidate to get lassoed loses the debate?
[00:00] <Trebbers> Wonder if you.net was a real thing
[00:01] <lhs> you.net had already acquired pizza.net by this point
[00:01] <impdentist_> "mr president, we all know that there are 4 simultaneous days within one earth rotation, can you explain the 4 days rather than the 1 day taught?"
[00:01] <autarch> "i only got one question: yanny or laurel?"
[00:01] <Trebbers> Both candidates have already had their revolvers inspected by their seconds
[00:01] <bob511> Heh
[00:01] <besoin> strange moderation
[00:01] <autarch> got em
[00:02] <dan2> instead of red-yellow-green lights, you just get sprayed with a fire extinguisher when you're out of time
[00:02] <Ampersand> damn that tie is thicc
[00:02] <lhs> only a bull-riding competition will decide his vote
[00:02] <Trebbers> About to ask about Kitty Dukakis
[00:02] <autarch> :eggplant emoji:
[00:02] <impdentist_> this is not about you dude
[00:02] <bob511> This is bad, can't they get a quality debate moderator, like Alex Trebek?
[00:02] <dan2> "and all of a sudden the whole world is under water"
[00:03] <Trebbers> ahha
[00:03] <Shalabi> did Bannon write this
[00:03] <Ampersand> she has her father's forehead, if nothing else
[00:03] <bob511> "Or eggs."
[00:04] <Trebbers> At first I was afraid I was petrified
[00:04] <lhs> if you build a voting booth, they will come
[00:04] <Ampersand> how can this possibly wrap up in the next few minutes
[00:04] <impdentist_> "and we need to get to the bottom of pizzagate"
[00:04] <Trebbers> "Someone to run the country like a business"
[00:04] <bob511> This was made years after we elected George W Bush president.
[00:04] <autarch> jfc i hate this
[00:04] <lhs> he's going to abstain
[00:05] <Trebbers> "Is there a question there, sir?"
[00:05] <Shalabi> yawn
[00:05] <autarch> are those eggs or cash?
[00:05] <dan2> "Granted, the only people I know are from Texaco, New Mexico"
[00:05] <impdentist_> NO I WILL NOT YIELD
[00:05] <besoin> "why do i see people using food stamps to buy steaks??"
[00:05] <Ampersand> he's going to cast a write-in ballot for Bart Simpson
[00:05] <bob511> Ah, the written equivalent of a CSPAN call-in debate.
[00:06] <Shalabi> here comes the populism
[00:06] <autarch> big music
[00:06] <besoin> oh lord
[00:06] <lhs> 5 years later
[00:06] <autarch> roll credits?
[00:06] <Ampersand> lol
[00:06] <dan2> "and that I totally meant to adress that issue during my first 4 years as president but I forgot"
[00:06] <Trebbers> Wait, a fucking collar
[00:06] <Trebbers> sellout
[00:06] <Ampersand> more like "fucking sleeves??"
[00:06] <impdentist_> "what do you mean i need ID"
[00:07] <Ampersand> lol
[00:07] <bob511> Ha
[00:07] <besoin> was he wearing short sleeves under his suitcoat?
[00:07] <dan2> lol dentist
[00:07] <Trebbers> aha imp
[00:07] <Trebbers> "Wait, who's Gary Johnson?"
[00:07] <autarch> roll credit cuz it doesn't matter who he votes for anyway
[00:07] <Ampersand> The Importance of Voting, Ernest
[00:07] <besoin> woof
[00:07] <impdentist_> haha treb
[00:07] <Shalabi> fucking shit ass centrist garbage
[00:07] <autarch> the civility is the important thing
[00:07] <impdentist_> he strikes me as a johnson voter
[00:07] <impdentist_> and in new mexico too
[00:08] <dan2> Richard Petty 10th billed
[00:08] <autarch> he wrote in "mickey mouse"
[00:08] <Trebbers> Forrest Fyre
[00:08] <Shalabi> Bill Maher as Human Asshole
[00:08] <lhs> wellyem
[00:09] <impdentist_> this inspired me
[00:09] <lhs> i hope that's the most fucked up william variant
[00:09] <autarch> bullshit that tney didn't show who he voted for
[00:09] <Trebbers> Really
[00:09] <dan2> the Greensmen did a shit job, the whole thing was brown!
[00:09] <besoin> Also Known As: Un papá muy poderoso
[00:09] <Trebbers> no sack
[00:09] <besoin> heh
[00:09] <Ampersand> yeah i'm inspired to mail sacks of letters to all politicians
[00:09] <besoin> lindsay graham
[00:10] <dan2> is the woman in the song supposed to be his daughter?
[00:10] == Trebbers [46a05dec@gateway/web/freenode/ip.70.160.93.236] has quit [Quit: Page closed]
[00:10] <impdentist_> all i need to make a decision on who to vote for is to have all the candidates directly answer questions i ask them
[00:10] <Ampersand> Special Thanks to the U.S. Constitution
[00:10] <kayke> I fell asleep
[00:10] <kayke> did he vote for nathan lane?
[00:10] <lhs> no one knows
[00:10] <besoin> ron paul
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Nov 05, 2018 2:04 pm

This Thursday,
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:25 pm

Ampersand wrote:This Thursday,
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:51 am

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:This Thursday,
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 08, 2018 5:38 pm

Tonight!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:58 pm

Two hours until showtime
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:49 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Runaway
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:07 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION: Runaway
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:00 am

Code: Select all
[22:12] <Amperselleck> 3
[22:12] <dan2_> 13,525,565 views
[22:12] <Amperselleck> 2
[22:12] <Amperselleck> 1
[22:12] <besoinaway> this is my favorite opening logo
[22:12] <besoinaway> every movie with this opening is good
[22:12] <lhs> do you want to test that
[22:12] <autarch> give me 30
[22:13] <besoinaway> already passed aut
[22:13] <impdentist> i'm into it so far
[22:13] <besoinaway> 1:00
[22:13] <bob511> Trying to think of Michael Crichton works besides this one I've not gotten to.
[22:13] <besoinaway> that circuit board has over 100 transistors!
[22:13] <autarch> give me 1:32
[22:13] <bob511> He did a pirate book, right?
[22:13] <besoinaway> andromeda strain?
[22:13] <besoinaway> 1:32
[22:13] <autarch> thx
[22:14] <Trebbers> Deputy NES Rob
[22:14] <besoinaway> heh
[22:14] <bob511> Oh, I guess I still need to do Looker.
[22:14] <autarch> whoa this aspect ratio is absurd
[22:14] <Amperselleck> looker is baaaad
[22:14] <dan2_> how do we not have moving tables by now
[22:14] <besoinaway> lawrence of robotia
[22:14] <impdentist> oh man directed by
[22:14] <dan2_> just put a table on top of a Roomba
[22:14] <dan2_> billion dollar idea
[22:14] <autarch> rammzie
[22:14] <Trebbers> Selleck is going to take the glasses off in the 3rd act and suddenly be hot
[22:15] <bob511> How many people have directed both Selleck and Reynolds, you think?
[22:15] <besoinaway> is anyone in this movie not a trump supporter
[22:15] == shalabi_ [ae43f6d6@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.67.246.214] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:15] <autarch> oh lord
[22:15] <impdentist> you take that back about chris mulkey
[22:15] <autarch> wall-e?
[22:15] <dan2_> hey
[22:15] <lhs> they're stealing our jobs
[22:15] <Trebbers> Trials are very efficient in the future
[22:16] <besoinaway> kill-e
[22:16] <dan2_> take that Iowa
[22:16] <impdentist> are there no windows in the helicopter
[22:16] <besoinaway> it'd be hilarious if magnum pronounced it "robits" through the whole movie
[22:17] <lhs> do you mean robutt
[22:17] <Amperselleck> "the ETs was drunk"
[22:17] <besoinaway> swing away, magnum
[22:17] <lhs> we have to stop it before it completes the dick
[22:17] <Trebbers> aha
[22:17] <besoinaway> heh
[22:17] <impdentist> "no, i don't know how to land this sucker, sorry"
[22:18] <besoinaway> they came in a helicopter and they're still pissed
[22:18] <autarch> these voices
[22:18] <autarch> dingadangdardar
[22:18] <Trebbers> In retrospect a dedicated robot squad is a little goofy
[22:18] <shalabi_> that's some authentic robot farmer banter
[22:18] <impdentist> i want there to be a boomhauer one
[22:18] <Trebbers> ahahhah
[22:18] <autarch> ruh roh
[22:18] <Amperselleck> Tonka Trouble!
[22:18] == Shalabi [ae43f6d6@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.67.246.214] has quit [Ping timeout: 256 seconds]
[22:18] <besoinaway> couldn't they just hit it with their ford
[22:18] <lhs> pretty sure you needed like 8 int to do this quest in fallout 2
[22:18] <dan2_> no way those farmers wouldn't just whack that thing with a shovel if it went out of control
[22:19] <autarch> what are these things?
[22:19] <Amperselleck> the battlebot flees the plantation
[22:19] <autarch> this seems like an insanely low-stakes scene
[22:19] <impdentist> that's corn autarch
[22:19] <autarch> wtf
[22:19] <autarch> nvm
[22:19] <Trebbers> Yeah, I don't understand the need for an expensive helicpter
[22:19] <lhs> logan's runaway
[22:19] <besoinaway> was the robit 30?
[22:20] <Amperselleck> i too took night classes in fucking up
[22:20] <Trebbers> "When I graduated from ECPI, they gave me a gun. I was surprised as shit"
[22:20] <dan2_> nothing higher up than a street, that's for sure
[22:20] <bob511> She really should clean those goggles before she returns them to the local high school biology lab.
[22:21] <besoinaway> just doing some soldering
[22:21] <Trebbers> Every copter has a "Lois" button
[22:21] <dan2_> would like to know more about whatever kind of futuristic gum Selleck is chewing
[22:21] <autarch> i cant follow this film
[22:21] <bob511> "The next day, they started the ROTOR program."
[22:22] <dan2_> "but then I hurt my brain"
[22:22] <Trebbers> Blah blah blah
[22:22] <besoinaway> just talks through the alarm
[22:22] <lhs> detective baby on the scene
[22:23] <Amperselleck> the blender bit back
[22:23] <bob511> Heh
[22:23] <dan2_> please tell me Selleck has to negotiate with that thing
[22:23] <besoinaway> they're all forked up
[22:23] <impdentist> hank!
[22:24] <Trebbers> Carved up Thanksgiving baby
[22:24] <lhs> i guarantee they would love a cut-up baby
[22:24] <besoinaway> that drone weighs 29 lbs
[22:24] <lhs> flying laserdisc
[22:25] <Amperselleck> The Meg swims in from the left of the frame, eats the drone
[22:25] <impdentist> AH
[22:25] <Trebbers> ahahh
[22:25] <besoinaway> it probably just hated that wallpaper
[22:25] <impdentist> MAGNUM??
[22:25] <Trebbers> How does it hold the gun
[22:25] <bob511> Giving domestic robots handguns is so USA.
[22:26] <autarch> idk what is happening
[22:26] <Trebbers> "Trigger fingers"
[22:26] <besoinaway> robots are a part of daily life, some of them go rogue and hurt people
[22:26] <Trebbers> A little suspicious
[22:26] <bob511> "All I did was point out that the 2nd amendment was not intended to guarantee an INDIVIDUAL right to bear arms."
[22:26] <autarch> this guy seems innocent
[22:26] <autarch> "hot stuff"
[22:26] <besoinaway> totally innocent guy here
[22:27] <besoinaway> it this a mr. baseball prequel
[22:27] <Trebbers> "He's putting on a second Power Glove"
[22:27] <besoinaway> heh
[22:27] <bob511> "It may be a multiple murderer, but we'll be damned if it beats the PD at laser tag."
[22:27] <Amperselleck> he's dressed like a knight playing catcher
[22:28] <besoinaway> how did they get the bodies out
[22:28] <bob511> Electromagnetic scatter mustache.
[22:28] <Trebbers> They ran out and died
[22:28] <besoinaway> "ah god, our blender, the humanity"
[22:29] <Amperselleck> with all the menace of a rogue electric pencil sharpener
[22:29] <autarch> "goo goo gah gah I'm a robot"
[22:29] <impdentist> i hope the rest of the movie is just this scene
[22:29] <autarch> can someone explain the ubiquity of robots?
[22:30] <Trebbers> "They can't kill all of us"?
[22:30] <besoinaway> jamie hyneman took over
[22:30] <impdentist> it's sometime in the not too distant future, to my understanding
[22:30] <bob511> No, I can confirm, this is what 1984 was like.
[22:31] <impdentist> robot with a gun is such a good premise
[22:31] <Amperselleck> just like Orwell predicted
[22:31] <bob511> Sometimes the robots even took oil that made smelly smoke.
[22:31] <autarch> pinocchio's room?
[22:31] <Trebbers> Robot had to stop and take a shit
[22:31] <besoinaway> i mean, even a robot 357 magnum only has 6 bullets
[22:31] <shalabi_> he killed a kurig machine
[22:31] <impdentist> it's just holding the gun with its one hand, fuck
[22:31] <Trebbers> so cute with the gun in its little hand
[22:32] <autarch> if i had one hand, that's what i'd do too
[22:32] <Trebbers> Doomba IS dead
[22:32] <bob511> Aw, poor droid, couldn't get much background acting work after Return of the Jedi.
[22:32] <autarch> kiss the babe, tom
[22:32] <dan2_> seems like a simple way to defeat that thing would be to approach it from anywhere other than the front
[22:32] <Amperselleck> how can you tell the difference between a living and deceased kuerig anyway?
[22:32] <Trebbers> Imagine the applause if only 2 people had died
[22:32] <impdentist> two hours?
[22:33] <Amperselleck> amazing little kid robe
[22:33] <impdentist> this kid sucks
[22:33] <besoinaway> were there no periods on this kid's script
[22:33] <Trebbers> Took all the periods out of his s
[22:33] <autarch> hate this kid
[22:33] <autarch> fuck this kid
[22:33] <bob511> "WOULD. YOU. LIKE. A. SMOKE?"
[22:33] <dan2_> well to be fair, that jukebox did 90% of this child's rearing
[22:33] <besoinaway> a koss mini stereo with arms
[22:33] <autarch> oh fuck off
[22:34] <Trebbers> Fuck you lois
[22:34] <dan2_> "she was also a robot"
[22:34] <autarch> a car is a robot
[22:34] <Trebbers> "She died, Lois killed her"
[22:34] <Amperselleck> "my wife? didn't you just meet Lois?"
[22:34] <besoinaway> snitch module
[22:34] <lhs> hahhht dogs
[22:34] <Trebbers> This voice
[22:35] <autarch> who's voicing this bot
[22:35] <dan2_> wait is he boiling some hot dogs right now??
[22:35] <impdentist> lois is gonna kill magnum's kid
[22:35] <autarch> lois rules
[22:36] <lhs> this seems even worse than growing up with smart phones
[22:36] <dan2_> "enough N-Gage for tonight son"
[22:36] <Trebbers> ha'
[22:36] <autarch> jfc kid mind your own business
[22:36] <autarch> lol dan
[22:37] <dan2_> "aww darn"
[22:37] <Amperselleck> "reminder, i have not been fucking paid, jackass"
[22:37] <autarch> thirsty phone call for captain McDiggles?
[22:37] <besoinaway> but it still has a TI logo
[22:38] <Trebbers> aha what
[22:38] <bob511> The casualty rate in their IT department must be insane..
[22:39] <Trebbers> do like they their squad cars are real pieces of shit
[22:39] <bob511> Needs to get its Tetris fix somehow.
[22:39] <Amperselleck> lol
[22:40] <autarch> robot area proceed with caution
[22:40] <bob511> Probably should equip those robots with human sensors.
[22:40] <besoinaway> future radios suck
[22:40] <autarch> why is he just standing there?
[22:40] <Amperselleck> she is totally gonna get tossed
[22:40] <autarch> he's gonna get fuckin crushed by a bag of sand
[22:41] <autarch> wait. why is she wearing a skirt? cops don't wear skirts
[22:41] <besoinaway> everyone has that guy on their sprint team
[22:41] <Trebbers> 80s
[22:41] <dan2_> uh, it's the FUTURE
[22:41] <bob511> Are they making the woman officer vacuum the crime scene?
[22:42] <autarch> holy shit those eyes
[22:42] <besoinaway> good job erasing half of your visit
[22:42] <Amperselleck> "gimme the ridges"
[22:42] <autarch> "satisfied? I'm ecstatic. this is pure ecstasy"
[22:43] <autarch> ridged for his pleasure
[22:43] <impdentist> is that ken jennings
[22:43] <Trebbers> Kustom Khips
[22:43] <besoinaway> real estate developers
[22:43] <Amperselleck> "you ate some, bastard"
[22:43] <Amperselleck> "it's here, in my gun"
[22:44] <autarch> it's a bomb
[22:44] <bob511> Double-crossed by Dr. Luthor, who could see it coming?
[22:44] <impdentist> hey man that's still like 15 bucks
[22:44] <autarch> monopoly money
[22:44] <Trebbers> DAMN Evil
[22:44] <besoinaway> aghhh!
[22:44] <dan2_> truly a Knight in Satan's Service
[22:44] <Amperselleck> injected with fire
[22:44] <Trebbers> Welp
[22:44] <impdentist> did it poison him and then explode him
[22:44] <autarch> yikes
[22:44] <Trebbers> walk away
[22:44] <autarch> no it's a poison that makes you explode
[22:45] <autarch> dmitri martin?
[22:45] <Trebbers> Pay the lady Gene
[22:45] <bob511> Oh, 404, guess whatever they're looking for wasn't found.
[22:45] <besoinaway> was it really room 404?
[22:46] <autarch> big ed?
[22:46] <autarch> no
[22:46] <autarch> hank
[22:46] <Trebbers> Anybody else getting glitches
[22:46] <autarch> is that hank?
[22:46] <impdentist> yes
[22:46] <besoinaway> yes
[22:46] <impdentist> is he normally this bad an actor
[22:46] <Trebbers> cool
[22:46] <impdentist> feel like he's at least marginally better in twin peaks
[22:46] <impdentist> AH
[22:47] <Amperselleck> gun or futuristic hair dryer? time will tell
[22:47] <dan2_> Jerry Goldsmith going nuts on this soundtrack
[22:47] <lhs> this music is really what van helsing needed
[22:47] <autarch> what?
[22:47] <impdentist> does gene simmons have an extensive acting resume?
[22:47] <Trebbers> fuck yes
[22:47] <impdentist> i remember we saw him in that rob lowe spy movie
[22:47] <Amperselleck> Stamos
[22:47] <besoinaway> you mean john stamos
[22:47] <bob511> Loved this gun in MDK.
[22:47] <impdentist> er yeah
[22:47] <Trebbers> Evil dead gun
[22:47] <besoinaway> never too young to die
[22:48] <impdentist> ahahahaha
[22:48] <autarch> this is the rocket launcher from 007 nightfire
[22:48] <dan2_> well, it certainly wasn't a Love Gun
[22:48] <impdentist> haha
[22:48] <besoinaway> identikit
[22:48] <besoinaway> try it with white makeup
[22:48] <lhs> heh
[22:49] <dan2_> love this guy
[22:49] <Trebbers> "We're going to have to do a sketch of the tongue to be sure"
[22:49] <besoinaway> it's that blowjob thing from fifth element
[22:49] <impdentist> isn't that the thing from teletubbies
[22:49] <impdentist> or maybe that
[22:49] <dan2_> would love to see that sniffer bot make a huge cocaine bust
[22:49] <autarch> yeah it's the thing from teletubbies
[22:49] <bob511> The blowjob thing from the Teletubbies?
[22:49] <besoinaway> phonetic ROM
[22:49] <autarch> it's the thing that goes out of control
[22:50] <autarch> did you not see that episode?
[22:50] <autarch> watersports
[22:50] <Trebbers> well then
[22:50] <impdentist> "can you just put this on the screen as text man"
[22:50] <lhs> in the future, no one stops talking
[22:50] <besoinaway> s.a.m. is out of control
[22:50] <autarch> jeez
[22:51] <impdentist> this is a routine occurrence
[22:51] <autarch> eiyiyiy
[22:51] <impdentist> wtf
[22:51] <autarch> selleck
[22:51] <dan2_> yeaaaah
[22:51] <besoinaway> "we'd better save her"
[22:51] <autarch> selleck is so thirsty
[22:52] <bob511> Milgrambot 5000.
[22:52] <autarch> hellooooo
[22:52] <besoinaway> lois will kill kirstie when she tries to replace her
[22:53] <autarch> he's such a pepe lepew
[22:53] <besoinaway> throw a fucking monitor at it
[22:53] <bob511> With 1980s carpet, that thing will have charge for days.
[22:53] <lhs> heh
[22:53] <dan2_> heh
[22:54] <autarch> LOL
[22:54] <lhs> what would JC denton do
[22:54] <autarch> does carpet not do that anymore?
[22:54] <Trebbers> ahahhha
[22:54] <impdentist> well there you go
[22:54] <besoinaway> the old four-legged shutdown command
[22:54] <bob511> Just like Vader killed the Emperor.
[22:54] <autarch> she's fine, tom
[22:54] <autarch> she said she's fine
[22:54] <besoinaway> but baby it's cold outside
[22:54] <lhs> this is where kirk cameron got his ideas
[22:55] <impdentist> CHIPS
[22:55] <Trebbers> Ruh roh
[22:55] <Amperselleck> chipaholic
[22:55] <autarch> a thousand chips delicious
[22:55] <bob511> Dr. Luthor, evil?
[22:55] <impdentist> this plot is picking up steam pretty quick
[22:55] <lhs> better go through her hair for the rest of them
[22:55] <besoinaway> "this guy is crackers"
[22:55] <impdentist> "the room is registered under 'mccallister'"
[22:56] <besoinaway> that was the plaza, imp, sheesh
[22:56] <impdentist> fine
[22:56] <besoinaway> can't say they didn't ask to not be disturbed
[22:57] <autarch> uh
[22:57] <besoinaway> gozar the gozarian
[22:58] <Amperselleck> lunges for the chip bowl
[22:58] <bob511> Those dudes were robots?
[22:58] <impdentist> who is that
[22:58] <Trebbers> Why didn't selleck shoot
[22:58] <autarch> kill him selleck
[22:58] <Amperselleck> kiss your stache goodbye
[22:59] <lhs> these are like sparklers-level explosions
[22:59] <impdentist> ahahaha of course
[22:59] <Trebbers> I completely forgot the horseshit vertigo business
[22:59] <impdentist> that's the public domain version of the shot from vertigo
[22:59] <autarch> the prospect of seeing gene simmons die is very appealing
[23:00] <dan2_> I'm trying to remember how he died in the Stamos movie
[23:00] <dan2_> I think he drove his truck into a dam or something
[23:01] <besoinaway> their truck
[23:01] <Trebbers> "Who doesn't"
[23:01] <dan2_> Luigi Bambini, cousin of Tony Scarboni
[23:02] <besoinaway> hey, easy
[23:02] <impdentist> this guy is so angry
[23:02] <Trebbers> Captain is a Jay Johnston character
[23:02] <autarch> hey!
[23:02] <autarch> language, mister!
[23:03] <dan2_> Magnum P. O'd
[23:05] <lhs> yes
[23:06] <besoinaway> push
[23:06] <impdentist> ah
[23:06] <Trebbers> ahah
[23:06] <autarch> wait what?
[23:06] <autarch> why did it explode?
[23:06] <besoinaway> it was an explosive shell
[23:06] <impdentist> it's an exploding bullet
[23:07] <autarch> why didn't it explode earlier?
[23:07] <besoinaway> dud
[23:07] <lhs> "do you like hot dogs?"
[23:07] <autarch> lol lhs
[23:07] <Amperselleck> lol
[23:07] <Trebbers> I was shot you clod
[23:08] <dan2_> obscenely thirsty
[23:08] <autarch> tom u dumb oaf
[23:08] <besoinaway> he's nothing without his wing man higgins
[23:08] <autarch> extremely close (to his coworkers) and incredibly thirsty
[23:08] <bob511> There's no way that pasta won't be mush in two minutes.
[23:08] <Trebbers> That poster on the left is wild
[23:09] <besoinaway> the right?
[23:09] <Trebbers> Left has a bug man about to kill a space child
[23:09] <Trebbers> I think
[23:09] <autarch> idk what anything on the screen is
[23:09] <impdentist> wtf is up with this kid
[23:09] <dan2_> looks like a cabbage person eating a big toe
[23:09] <autarch> you know who's REALLY gotta go? that kid
[23:09] <besoinaway> ah
[23:10] <autarch> just washing my bullets
[23:10] <autarch> like a normal person
[23:10] <lhs> that poster is just a section from garden of earthly delights
[23:11] <impdentist> wait you really didn't think to try heat
[23:11] <dan2_> "it's a very attractive heat pattern"
[23:11] <autarch> selleck's heat is all concentrated in the groin
[23:11] <autarch> everyone's heat pattern is unique, like snowflakes
[23:11] <bob511> Sega CD mugshots
[23:11] <besoinaway> heh
[23:12] <Trebbers> asch
[23:12] <autarch> psychics?
[23:12] <Trebbers> Hope linda is a robot
[23:12] <dan2_> oh my GOD thats unsettling
[23:12] <Amperselleck> "this bullet has seen many things"
[23:12] <besoinaway> what the hell
[23:12] <bob511> No, this not what "neuromancer" means.
[23:12] <Amperselleck> "a tongue... like a devil"
[23:12] <Trebbers> ahahha
[23:13] <lhs> my floral vest has something to tell you
[23:13] <Amperselleck> meet.. cute
[23:13] <autarch> i got a firm body, man
[23:14] <impdentist> lol
[23:14] <Amperselleck> these chips are all dressed up
[23:14] <impdentist> drat! a mobile phone!
[23:15] <Trebbers> The 'monitor' ok
[23:15] <autarch> what do you want? "i want to rock and roll all night"
[23:16] <besoinaway> she's been paired up with 2/3rds of the three men and a baby
[23:16] <impdentist> *2/4ths
[23:17] <besoinaway> she can't date the baby, sicko
[23:17] <Amperselleck> i could use a de-chip scan
[23:17] <impdentist> of course
[23:18] <besoinaway> why is magnum in civvies
[23:18] <Trebbers> Brought in on day off
[23:18] <besoinaway> mcafee pervert scan
[23:18] <dan2_> we sure they didn't just program this robot to be a creep?
[23:18] <bob511> This scanner cost the department a nine-figure settlement in 1993.
[23:19] <Amperselleck> that's so rudy
[23:19] <besoinaway> vancouver
[23:19] <autarch> rudy fuck off
[23:20] <dan2_> Luther in the Sky with Deathbots
[23:20] <Trebbers> ah
[23:20] <autarch> eternal screens?
[23:20] <autarch> ETERNAL screens?
[23:21] <dan2_> *deploying banana peel*
[23:21] <besoinaway> heh
[23:21] == shalabi_ [ae43f6d6@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.67.246.214] has quit [Ping timeout: 256 seconds]
[23:21] <impdentist> had no idea there was this defense against the blue shell
[23:22] <besoinaway> well this makes sense
[23:22] <Trebbers> Sure, no problem
[23:22] <Trebbers> just bail
[23:22] <bob511> I kind of want the Millennium Falcon targeting screen option for my car.
[23:22] <besoinaway> what about the robot driver
[23:23] <bob511> That wasn't a robot bomb, that's just what American cars did back then.
[23:23] <besoinaway> she wanted herself to be killed?
[23:23] <Trebbers> LOL women and their purses
[23:24] <besoinaway> the police didn't search the purse
[23:24] <autarch> women
[23:24] <autarch> oh boy
[23:24] <autarch> racist bot
[23:24] <besoinaway> that robot can make anything, and he orders the most banal possible thing
[23:25] <lhs> he got the hot dog roll
[23:25] == shalabi [ae43f6d6@gateway/web/freenode/ip.174.67.246.214] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[23:25] <Amperselleck> two hot dog, yes?
[23:25] <autarch> we'd love to have you FOR DINNER
[23:25] <dan2_> I stepped out for a second and almost missed that insane sign
[23:26] <Amperselleck> "will you have your usual, sir?" *holding out a bottle of spicy milk*
[23:26] <besoinaway> kirstie looks like a superman 2 villain
[23:26] <autarch> gene
[23:26] <impdentist> oh welp
[23:27] <besoinaway> cheers, jackie
[23:27] <autarch> uh, well you just murdered someone in public
[23:27] <Amperselleck> lol at the faceplant
[23:27] <bob511> Probably just better to shoot him with a normal-speed bullet.
[23:27] <autarch> why don't they just make more guns like his?
[23:27] <autarch> or just steal his gun?
[23:27] <Trebbers> experimental
[23:28] <autarch> yeah his gun is actually really bad. never succeeds
[23:28] <besoinaway> i just bet he's in there
[23:28] <Trebbers> The spider is 100% though
[23:29] <besoinaway> wow, his partner's shoulder pads
[23:29] <impdentist> thought he was gonna have pooped it out
[23:29] <autarch> he's a shapeshifter
[23:29] <autarch> he IS the toilet paper
[23:29] <autarch> oh boy
[23:29] <Amperselleck> that stall has her name written on it
[23:30] <impdentist> oh no it's the exploding poison bot
[23:30] <Amperselleck> lol
[23:30] <besoinaway> my shins
[23:30] <autarch> lol
[23:30] <dan2_> the Creepy Crawlers/K-Nex mashup I always dreamed of
[23:30] <besoinaway> uh, hm
[23:31] <bob511> That kid is a sharpshooter level-2?
[23:31] <Amperselleck> Special Training: Breathing, Robes
[23:31] <Amperselleck> Riot ControL!??
[23:31] <besoinaway> lois: "i...i tried"
[23:31] <bob511> Bobby's a secret weapon.
[23:31] <autarch> god bless gene if he killed the kid
[23:31] <impdentist> they have super advanced robots and they still have busy signals
[23:31] <dan2_> NO
[23:32] <besoinaway> what the hell does she need hydraulic fluid for
[23:32] <dan2_> "alright I'm going to have to attempt mouth to mouth" *begins licking motherboard
[23:32] <autarch> lois please talk more
[23:32] <Amperselleck> he wanted me to tell you "i hate... soupy pasta"
[23:33] <besoinaway> "switch to sprint:
[23:33] <besoinaway> "
[23:33] <lhs> he definitely will not know if you come
[23:34] <impdentist> oh man here's a setpiece
[23:35] <dan2_> phew he made it past them, my heart was in my chest
[23:35] <dan2_> throat
[23:35] <dan2_> whatever I'm tired
[23:35] <impdentist> haha
[23:35] <lhs> how fast would it go if he didn't hit the human speed button
[23:35] <impdentist> forgot about this character detail
[23:36] <besoinaway> seems like he's wearing a wig
[23:36] <dan2_> place your bets now, does Gene Simmons get: 1. Thrown off building 2. Killed by his own spiderbots
[23:36] <bob511> Would have been funnier if he were afraid of spiders.
[23:36] <Trebbers> yes
[23:37] <autarch> god bobby sucks
[23:37] <Trebbers> Gene still need those plans
[23:38] <autarch> gene rules
[23:38] <lhs> bobby just pick any of those 22 floors
[23:38] <lhs> 12 floors
[23:38] <impdentist> "also they explode!"
[23:38] <dan2_> go ahead and shout it out loud Selleck, it won't save him
[23:38] <autarch> that face
[23:38] <besoinaway> they can climb, last i looked
[23:38] <Amperselleck> lol
[23:39] <Amperselleck> honestly, just learn to shoot a regular gun
[23:39] <impdentist> this gun is super effective in shooting everyone other than tom selleck
[23:39] <besoinaway> missed a !magnum in the code somewhere
[23:40] <impdentist> feel like there should be some music here?
[23:40] <besoinaway> is he headed to mars?
[23:40] <autarch> this is legit scary
[23:40] <impdentist> this is like when you get in that redwood elevator in myst
[23:40] <dan2_> Goldsmith used every note in existence for the rest of the score, there was nothing left
[23:40] <autarch> i liked that shot
[23:41] <Amperselleck> "dance with ussss"
[23:42] <bob511> Ole!
[23:42] <besoinaway> yikes
[23:42] <shalabi> i played this level in super mario world
[23:42] <besoinaway> isn't this how the dark knight ends
[23:42] <dan2_> the technology in those prank shaking rattlesnakes is about the same level as these guys
[23:42] <autarch> oh fuck
[23:43] <impdentist> good thing it didn't inject the exploding juice into him
[23:43] <bob511> 9-1-1
[23:43] <impdentist> why would they put the reset button on the bottom of the elevator
[23:43] <Amperselleck> so many star wars sounds
[23:43] <Trebbers> oh fuck robot speed
[23:44] <dan2_> I"m expecting a toy monkey with cymbals to come after him next
[23:44] <autarch> hahaha
[23:44] <Amperselleck> pretty close
[23:44] <impdentist> yessssss
[23:44] <autarch> GENE
[23:44] <Amperselleck> he's in heaven
[23:44] <autarch> amazing face
[23:44] <impdentist> gif that
[23:45] <autarch> oh hell yeah
[23:45] <impdentist> i had a feeling it was going to be both
[23:45] <autarch> die gene die
[23:45] <besoinaway> alt-F4
[23:45] <Amperselleck> give him the juuuuice
[23:45] <dan2_> yeah the combination play
[23:45] <dan2_> so everyone who voted won
[23:46] <impdentist> what exactly did she do
[23:46] <lhs> nice contouring on his cheekboes
[23:46] <lhs> bones*
[23:46] <besoinaway> his shirt didn't even come untucked
[23:46] <lhs> probably a bodysuit
[23:47] <autarch> hell yeah
[23:47] <impdentist> ah
[23:47] <dan2_> YOU KEEP ON SHOUTING YOU KEEP ON SHOUTING
[23:47] <bob511> Huh?
[23:47] <besoinaway> kiss luthor goodbye
[23:47] <bob511> That's why you don't approach duds.
[23:47] <autarch> the kiss of death
[23:47] <dan2_> digging the muttonchops on Selleck
[23:47] <Amperselleck> lol
[23:48] <besoinaway> i wouldn't talk with that hair
[23:48] <Amperselleck> she's got some rouge for that
[23:48] <autarch> wtf is dinner?
[23:48] <dan2_> what
[23:48] <besoinaway> aaand, heterosexual couple formed
[23:48] <besoinaway> roll credits
[23:48] <impdentist> what
[23:48] <Amperselleck> he usually only brings robots home
[23:48] <Trebbers> *boop*
[23:48] <Amperselleck> eat her?
[23:48] <besoinaway> i'm sure she can make hot dogs
[23:49] <lhs> all he has in the fridge is mustard
[23:49] <autarch> tom graduated from the vin diesel school of kissing
[23:49] <Amperselleck> a.k.a fondue, lhs
[23:49] <Trebbers> Just makin out in the spark factory
[23:49] <lhs> gross
[23:49] <impdentist> yesssss
[23:49] <dan2_> Tom sure likes standing directly underneath very dangerous stuff at construction sites
[23:49] <autarch> all-credits-long make out scene?
[23:49] <besoinaway> this song
[23:49] <autarch> i know, besoin
[23:49] <autarch> i was about to say
[23:49] <Trebbers> some Robotech level shit
[23:49] <lhs> this is just the other song slowed down to human speed
[23:49] <besoinaway> sounds like the care bears are in a hot air balloon
[23:50] <dan2_> two more minutes, you got this Tommy
[23:50] <impdentist> haha lhs
[23:50] <dan2_> her upper lip must have been bleeding from mustache friction by the end of this shoot
[23:50] <Amperselleck> when they're done kissing, she's going to have the smudged Furiosa lewk
[23:50] <Trebbers> How weird must this have been to shoot
[23:50] <impdentist> these names
[23:51] <besoinaway> johnson, thompson, sally, bobby
[23:51] <autarch> wow, this iis a very  romantic kiss. is there anyway we can make it last 5 minutes?
[23:51] <Trebbers> Floater Cop
[23:51] <dan2_> Floater Cop
[23:51] <autarch> stunt cop
[23:51] <dan2_> Dick Ziker
[23:51] <autarch> hank hooker
[23:51] <bob511> Hank Hooker
[23:51] <autarch> daamen krall
[23:51] <besoinaway> yamaha digital instruments
[23:51] <autarch> MAD computers inc
[23:52] <besoinaway> they were mad as hell, from what i understand
[23:52] <dan2_> the usual gang of idiots
[23:52] <autarch> that was awesome
[23:52] <dan2_> And now the news
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Postby donna martin » Fri Nov 09, 2018 11:09 am

Ugh, bummed I missed this.
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Nov 09, 2018 11:15 am

This Sunday,
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