uh, so I jizzed while making a hard dump

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Why did I jizz while passing a hard hard loaf?

I am gay now
33
19%
Prostate cancer
9
5%
The butthole is connected to the cum-hole
43
25%
Hard dumps really turn me on without even knowing it
21
12%
I've mutated, now have the power to jizz on command
14
8%
:ahuh:
44
25%
Lamalam
11
6%
 
Total votes : 175

Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:20 am

the heck?

I am just sitting there contentedly dumping out, passing a particularly noxious and solid mass, when all of the sudden some jizz spurts out of my flaccid penis and onto my jeans bunched around my ankles. :ryan:
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Postby Cronos » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:21 am

sorry you're gay
IT like it a Crime these Days jus to be Retarded....
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Postby VHGisdead » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:22 am

vintage hpn thread?
Bought this at the mall I'm gonna wear this at the mall.
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:24 am

a)how much jizz are we talking? like a teaspoon? enough to fill the frosting section on a dunkarooo?

b) did it feel good?

c) all of the above
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.
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Postby Pace » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:26 am

Can't blame you,it's a pretty sexy scenario.
alas i must fix my life
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:27 am

wait, wait

you serious, bro?

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i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby gandhi » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:28 am

Yeah I've done this but not onto my jeans so I guess gay?
Last edited by gandhi on Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:28 am

if you're really unsettled by this, though, there's always room over in the existential crisis thread for a shit-taking-cum-dribbler
i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:30 am

It wasn't a full load's worth, like just a quick spurt, so probably about a teaspoon, maybe a teaspoon and a half.

It felt ok, but not orgasmic.

I was troubled so I looked it up on the internet, apparently I now have super powers.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:30 am

nefarious wrote:jesus dude what did you eat??


jizz, duh
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Postby Star-Lord » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:31 am

I've dumped while having a hard jizz. Let's start a Cap'n Jazz cover band, Shit'n Jizz.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:32 am

No dude Crap n' Jizz.
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Postby someguy » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:33 am

i knew this would happen
apologies
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Postby gandhi » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:35 am

Heyyyyyy coffee eyes
You got me coming while I'm pooping heart.

I looked it up on the Internet too and found no conclusion. I just keep living
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Postby Ankh » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:36 am

black drum wrote:
nefarious wrote:jesus dude what did you eat??


jizz, duh


you'll be fine, you have to drink jizz to be gay
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Postby Montague Terrace » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:38 am

call a doctor. better safe than sorry.
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Postby Star-Lord » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:39 am

black drum wrote:No dude Crap n' Jizz.


Feel pretty bad I missed that opportunity. No wonder I'm just a bass player that can only masturbate if he is in the imediate vicinity of a toilet.
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Postby grammatron » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:41 am

Your big dump just massaged the prostate a little and squeezed a bit out. It's no big deal.
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:41 am

except that you are now gay
i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:45 am

maybe your dong was chewing
which immediately calls to mind "hey I should give that a shot"
stuff a little bullet of kodiak up my urethra franklin, see if it takes me to pleasuretown
brb
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby grammatron » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:49 am

jeffrey wrote:except that you are now gay

He was born that way, jeffrey. Have some respect.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:55 am

Guys if passing white while making brown is gay then pass the poppers.
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:55 am

let me walk back any suggestion that putting chewing tobacco in your penis is a good idea
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:56 am

rather it is a great idea
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:57 am

BlackSugar let's not make suggestions on an internet message board that cannot be unsuggested.
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Postby WHITEBOYWASTED » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:57 am

This happened to a lunch buddy of mine in high school and soon after he had testicular problems and joined the marines, so I say clear your schedule for awhile
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:58 am

I guess what I want to know is how big is BlackSugar's urethra that he can fit a whole can of Kodiak up in there?

I mean those things have the circumference and diameter and thickness of a hockey puck. Damn dude.
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:59 am

maybe you should start wearing a diaper while you poo
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:33 pm

BlackSugar wrote:maybe you should start wearing a diaper while you poo

Might be kind of a cool bonding experience with my daughter.
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Postby mcwop23 » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:39 pm

this is the thread we needed after the abortion that was this weekends boarding
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