uh, so I jizzed while making a hard dump

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Why did I jizz while passing a hard hard loaf?

I am gay now
33
19%
Prostate cancer
9
5%
The butthole is connected to the cum-hole
43
25%
Hard dumps really turn me on without even knowing it
21
12%
I've mutated, now have the power to jizz on command
14
8%
:ahuh:
44
25%
Lamalam
11
6%
 
Total votes : 175

Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:20 am

the heck?

I am just sitting there contentedly dumping out, passing a particularly noxious and solid mass, when all of the sudden some jizz spurts out of my flaccid penis and onto my jeans bunched around my ankles. :ryan:
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Postby Cronos » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:21 am

sorry you're gay
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Postby VHGisdead » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:22 am

vintage hpn thread?
Bought this at the mall I'm gonna wear this at the mall.
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:24 am

a)how much jizz are we talking? like a teaspoon? enough to fill the frosting section on a dunkarooo?

b) did it feel good?

c) all of the above
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.
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Postby Pace » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:26 am

Can't blame you,it's a pretty sexy scenario.
alas i must fix my life
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:27 am

wait, wait

you serious, bro?

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i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby gandhi » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:28 am

Yeah I've done this but not onto my jeans so I guess gay?
Last edited by gandhi on Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:28 am

if you're really unsettled by this, though, there's always room over in the existential crisis thread for a shit-taking-cum-dribbler
i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:30 am

It wasn't a full load's worth, like just a quick spurt, so probably about a teaspoon, maybe a teaspoon and a half.

It felt ok, but not orgasmic.

I was troubled so I looked it up on the internet, apparently I now have super powers.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:30 am

nefarious wrote:jesus dude what did you eat??


jizz, duh
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Postby Star-Lord » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:31 am

I've dumped while having a hard jizz. Let's start a Cap'n Jazz cover band, Shit'n Jizz.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:32 am

No dude Crap n' Jizz.
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Postby someguy » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:33 am

i knew this would happen
apologies
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Postby gandhi » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:35 am

Heyyyyyy coffee eyes
You got me coming while I'm pooping heart.

I looked it up on the Internet too and found no conclusion. I just keep living
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Postby Ankh » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:36 am

black drum wrote:
nefarious wrote:jesus dude what did you eat??


jizz, duh


you'll be fine, you have to drink jizz to be gay
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Postby Montague Terrace » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:38 am

call a doctor. better safe than sorry.
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Postby Star-Lord » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:39 am

black drum wrote:No dude Crap n' Jizz.


Feel pretty bad I missed that opportunity. No wonder I'm just a bass player that can only masturbate if he is in the imediate vicinity of a toilet.
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Postby grammatron » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:41 am

Your big dump just massaged the prostate a little and squeezed a bit out. It's no big deal.
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Postby ocean pimp » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:41 am

except that you are now gay
i'm that bitch that listens to gangsta rap on the way to the farmers market after yoga
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:45 am

maybe your dong was chewing
which immediately calls to mind "hey I should give that a shot"
stuff a little bullet of kodiak up my urethra franklin, see if it takes me to pleasuretown
brb
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby grammatron » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:49 am

jeffrey wrote:except that you are now gay

He was born that way, jeffrey. Have some respect.
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:55 am

Guys if passing white while making brown is gay then pass the poppers.
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:55 am

let me walk back any suggestion that putting chewing tobacco in your penis is a good idea
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:56 am

rather it is a great idea
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:57 am

BlackSugar let's not make suggestions on an internet message board that cannot be unsuggested.
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Postby WHITEBOYWASTED » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:57 am

This happened to a lunch buddy of mine in high school and soon after he had testicular problems and joined the marines, so I say clear your schedule for awhile
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:58 am

I guess what I want to know is how big is BlackSugar's urethra that he can fit a whole can of Kodiak up in there?

I mean those things have the circumference and diameter and thickness of a hockey puck. Damn dude.
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Postby BlackSugar » Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:59 am

maybe you should start wearing a diaper while you poo
I come like a thousand doves
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Postby black drum » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:33 pm

BlackSugar wrote:maybe you should start wearing a diaper while you poo

Might be kind of a cool bonding experience with my daughter.
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Postby mcwop23 » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:39 pm

this is the thread we needed after the abortion that was this weekends boarding
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