HPN WEREWOLF (VILLAGERS TRIUMPHANT!)

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby Luke » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:38 pm

Votes so far:

Guy Incognito: iambic
junebug: iambic
Cone: iambic

iambic: Legion
fox: Legion

Legion: ?
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Legion » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:59 pm



Mindful of the deadline tomorrow, I continue in the meantime to consult the many auguries and ledgers left behind by Duke before I make my vote.

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Postby dumbles » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:01 pm

u gonna vote for yourself?
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby dumbles » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:01 pm

this town really is fulla tards
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby Luke » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:03 pm

fuckles, please be respectful of our simple town.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby dumbles » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:15 pm

Respect This

*wiggles donger*
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby iambic » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:55 pm

switch my vote to ?

I want to be able to name the true villain with my last breath, if needs be
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Postby mcphee » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:56 pm

damn I love this thread
THIS IS TOTALLY UNEXCEPTABLE.
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Postby Legion » Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:25 pm



Having gathered what remains of duke's sage and mixed it in a pestle with my last ration of pisse and some dusty cerements, I fell into a trance of what felt like analytical rigour. But when I came to, I wasn't sure if my huffing had done any goode.

My thought: There is a window between the moment where we learn whether the object of our vote is a mere human or a wolf, and the time when the next victim is chosen. What can we learn from examining the activities of the villagers during this time? Might they be excitedly chattering during this time, eager to savor the grim emotions of the people as the sour news is spread? Would they be parlaying on the board around the same time as the vile and departed Mr. Science, indicating that the two may have been plotting together? My feeble-minded attempt at correlation follows:



Luke's Announcements

Last round (separator): July 20th 9:15 am (time the villager was lynched) - 9:51 a.m. (time the next kill was announced)

Time people posted that day:

Cone: 9:26 am, 10:47
Iambic: 9:41 a.m., 9:45, 9:47, 10:00, 10:41, 10:54 a.m., etc.
Junebug: 10:27 a.m., 10:31, 11:52, 11:53
Guy Incognito: 6:24 a.m., 9:17, 10:22, 10:48
Legion: 5:52 a.m., 9:26, 9:34, 10:17, 10:19
fox: 2:52 a.m., 2:22 p.m.

Prev round (victim: Mr. Science): July 18th 3:42 p.m. - 5:31 p.m.

Cone 8:18 a.m. July 18th, 10:21 p.m.
Iambic: 4:18 p.m., 4:33 p.m., 7:38 p.m.
junebug: 12:06 p.m., 8:42 p.m.
Guy Incognito: 2:19 p.m., 4:24, 4:26, 4:40, 6:35
Legion: 8:58 a.m., 7:11 p.m.
fox: 3:37 p.m., 9:02 p.m.
Mr. Science: 3:47 p.m., 3:50 p.m. [DEAD]

Prev round (victim: stuntman): July 17th 5:37 p.m. to July 18th 5:40 a.m.

Cone: July 17th 6:06 p.m., 6:12, 6:20, // July 18th 8:30 a.m.
Iambic: July 17th 7:25 p.m., 7:31, 7:34, 7:35, // July 18th 8:36 a.m
junebug: July 17th 12:36 p.m. // July 18th 7:56 a.m.
Guy Incognito: July 17th 1:45 p.m., 6:08, 7:30, 7:31, // July 18th 5:35 a.m., 5:42, 5:45, 5:48, 5:59, 6:03, 6:47, 7:10, etc.
Legion: 11:37 a.m., 6:09 p.m.
fox: 5:40, 6:24, 6:27, 7:18 to // July 18th 12:25 a.m., 2:46 a.m., 2:52, 12:00 p.m.
Mr. Science: 2:05 p.m., 10:25 p.m. // July 18th 9:54 a.m.

First round (victim: Cronos): July 16th 12:08 - 6:01 p.m.

Cone: 11:50, 12:01, 12:18, 1:34, 1:40, 2:18, 2:24, 2:31, 2:36, 2:39, 2:42, 5:12, 6:04, 6:25
Iambic: 12:50 p.m., 3:18 a.m.
Junebug: 8:56 a.m., 3:02 p.m., 11:17
Guy Incognito: 12:06 p.m., 12:12, 1:18, 1:19
Legion: 11:26 a.m., 1:16 p.m., 2:05, 4:05, 4:2., 5:13, 9:10
fox: 1:54 p.m., 3:03, 3:24, 3:27, 3:47, 3:58, 4:31, 5:04, 5:25, 5:45, 5:52, 6:07
Mr. Science: 6:48 p.m., 8:12, 10:23, 12:03, 12:17, 2:45, 3:21, 3:32, 4:52, 7:06


Can any undeniable conclusions be drawn from such evidence? Of course not. It is mere hearsay, and our efforts are hurt by the fact that the first two ranges encompass a large span of time, and that Mr. Science was not longer lived.

Nevertheless, when we consider the last two rounds, the tighter frame of the window and the prevalence of iambic and Guy Incognito both posting during both of those rounds may raise questions.

(Granted, your very own gravedigger here admittedly posted during some of these spannes as well, but what wolf would go to the effort of assessing all of the above?)

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Postby fox » Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:27 pm

A verie craftye one, indeede.
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Postby Luke » Mon Jul 20, 2015 7:37 pm

With iambic's retraction, the votes are:

Guy Incognito: iambic
junebug: iambic
Cone: iambic

fox: Legion

Legion: ?
iambic: ?
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby fox » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:26 am

bye the bye if hipinione is wondering what the werewolf badhat is up to since I mentioned his presence in this threade...
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 8:56 am

fuck it, I'm gunning for Guy Incognito

I am less sure of this than of any other vote previously, but I have increasing reason to doubt that it was Legion (thanks to private correspondence, his convincing protestations, and the absurd effort he put into collating the times data). Guy Incognito has threatened me from the first, he has blood on his hands, and perhaps he has played us all for fools, all along.

knowing, as I alone do, that I am not a werewolf, there is as good a reason to suspect Guy as any other. more, indeed, than junebug or Cone. I doubt this will do anything to sway the other accusers arrayed against me, but it is the only recourse I have.
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:53 am



I too vote for Guy Incognito.

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Postby Cronos » Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:55 am

Guy Incognito was the first to call for my murder so I hope he burns in hell.
IT like it a Crime these Days jus to be Retarded....
Jeremy wrote:I seriously have trouble understanding how so many people who rely entirely on affectation have so little self-awareness.
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Postby Guy Incognito » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:06 am

a ghost, a dead man walking and a guy whose posts look like that add up to a pretty irrelevant contingent of naysayers
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:10 am

sneer all you want, wolf. if you survive the day, you will die tomorrow.
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Postby Cronos » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:11 am

I will have my vengeance. Whether you're killed by a villager or a werewolf my soul will rest easy knowing you spend eternity at a Dave Matthews Band concert where the only song they play is Ants Marching and it's 104 degrees and they ran out of water for the crowd.
IT like it a Crime these Days jus to be Retarded....
Jeremy wrote:I seriously have trouble understanding how so many people who rely entirely on affectation have so little self-awareness.
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Postby someguy » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:11 am

enjoy your bile while you still can
apologies
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Postby Guy Incognito » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:12 am

if you think that's my personal hell you must not know me very well
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:44 am

The votes are:

Guy Incognito: iambic
junebug: iambic
Cone: iambic

fox: Legion

Legion: Guy Incognito
iambic: Guy Incognito

All votes are in, but there's still 3 1/2 hours to make it official.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby bear » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:49 am

a medium sized bear watches the village from the forest with curiosity

my my what a spectacle this simple town has become, hmmmmmmmmm...

:plucks an apple from a tree:
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:05 pm

who do you think is the wolf, bear
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:48 pm

jfc I can't believe you guys are truly going to murder me
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Postby Cronos » Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:52 pm

May you burn forever in the sulfur pits you Irish bastard.
IT like it a Crime these Days jus to be Retarded....
Jeremy wrote:I seriously have trouble understanding how so many people who rely entirely on affectation have so little self-awareness.
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Postby Guy Incognito » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:02 pm

voting to slay innocents was all fun and games until people finally noticed you, eh wolf?
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Postby bunejug » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:03 pm

your kind never belonged in this town, good riddance.
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:04 pm



I have this feeling that iambic is innocent, but I've done what I could.

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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:05 pm

Alright, it's pretty obvious what the final vote's gonna be, so I'll just go ahead with it.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:06 pm

the villagers, determined at last to root out the suspected fiend iambic and hang him from the gibbet until dead, follow him to Guy Incognito's mansion, where last he was seen headed.

when they break down the ornate door to the estate, a grisly scene awaits them. Guy Incognito is there with his whole dick gone, just completely torn off. to explain: the werewolf iambic, in his full lyncanthrophic glory, has already half-murdered the idiot Guy and slashed away the man's shit penis as a trophy. the wolf holds the remainder of the miserable thing aloft like a busted hacky-sack; blood and ichor coat his fur and claws. what with the entire dick being taken clean off, Guy is now an emasculated little bitch, sorry to say.

a single shot from Cone's pistol--loaded earlier with a silver bullet from fox's forge--puts an end to the proud wolf's reign once and for all. the beast slumps to the marble floor, thrashing about in the spreading pool of Guy's blood and piss (the idiot's dick is leaking piss because of how it got cut entirely off by a resplendent iambic, remember).

as Guy screams and screams like a petty bitch, the villagers, indifferent to his wailing, warily approach the dying werewolf. iambic is still breathing--breathing his last--and struggling to speak.

Legion, the town's gravedigger and its bravest and truest soul, leans in to listen.

"you fools," hacks the wolf in the villager's misshapen, ringworm-y ear. "you have slain the one creature that could have saved you."

he takes another shuddering gasp of air, demonstrably braver in the face of impending death than Guy Incognito could ever hope to be, for example.

"he comes," whispers iambic. "he is coming. he is pedaling closer."

"who?" asks fox, kneeling beside Legion now as blood bubbles at the corners of iambic's maw. "who is coming??"

"you already know," croaks the wolf.

"baaadhaaaaa--"

he dies.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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