SSWW: Game Over: Crewmembers Win

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby bigcat » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:04 pm

And if it comes to it I will definitely be choosing my retaliation kill among the people who voted for me you alien scum

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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:04 pm

wow.
vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:05 pm

Big Cat for Mayor.
vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

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bigcat wrote:I love many socialist policies

Ideologues of all flavors can suck my dick
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Postby Catullus » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:09 pm

Ksssch

dorito was one of the ones who seems fishy as heck. I miss having my fellow lady space traveler, and I'm missing bread terribly. We must make sure to avenge her spirit. And get rid of these fucking aliens.

ksssch
opi wrote:like i don't think it's possible for catullus to be duplicitous, whereas pretty much every other poster at the time struck me as having one foot in shinra
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:10 pm

big cat

doritopassion
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Postby internetfriend » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:14 pm

The vote closes in 5 minutes.
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts
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Postby bongo » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:14 pm

man how am i dead
yeaaaaaaaaaaaa american nostalgia love it suburban living civilized families this could be my life
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Postby sleigh » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:16 pm

landspeedrecord wrote:ya know, considering that dorito still hasn't voted yet, I don't think they're evil


Why would that be

Isn't one of the chief markers of trustworthiness bloodthirstiness?
so
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:18 pm

a fair point and the reason why I changed my vote back to dorito a few moments ago
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Postby internetfriend » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:19 pm

Vote is space closed. Stand by.
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts
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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:20 pm

:ryan:
Last edited by galactagogue on Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

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bigcat wrote:I love many socialist policies

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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:20 pm

oh, did you make that point too? I didn't notice.

good on you, smart stuff
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:22 pm

ya know one thing I don't like?

people who speak in the third-person
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:24 pm

keep dreamin, punk
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:26 pm

cool pic
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Postby doritopassion » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:27 pm

fukc you bit*hes!!
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Postby doritopassion » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:28 pm

typos added to keep it family friendly
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:28 pm

*grips blaster tightly*

just do it, already
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 6:36 pm

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
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Postby internetfriend » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:15 pm

The crew couldn't bring themselves to move bread and inspectorhound's bodies . . . it was too much to bear. They left them in the mess hall and made a group mental note to deal with it later, or just not go in that room anymore.

Snatch was the first one to discover the goopy green body of bingo. He made a loud sound. Like, "BWahugh!" Then he went, "Eep! Eep peepe eppepe!" One by one the rest of the crew came to see what the awful racket was, but once they saw bingo's body, they, too, began to go, "Holla, hoo boy, holy moly," and, "Whaagaa??? Ring a ding ddoooof, dow."

Meanwhile, bingo's body kept twitching, mouthing things like, "Man, am I dead, what is dead?" Even though he should not have been saying anything, as he was dead.

A few hours later, when they'd all regained their composure enough to stop making unusual mouth sounds, a few crewmembers had gathered together to lynch doritopassion. All this shell-whispering . . . it just wasn't done.

But where the fuck had he gone? He wasn't hooting at bingo's body in the hall. He wasn't playing space chess in the Recreation Area. They finally found him scrabbling at an airlock with his long dirty fingernails. The effort of not voting had driven him insane, and he was desperately trying to make it out into the cold vacuum of space, where he could 'chill out' a bit. Ha ha.

If they'd left him long enough, he probably would have gotten there. Instead, they had to go after him. Landspeed, upon regarding the tattered, growling wreck that had been his crewmember, was overcome with empathy. He reached out to doritopassion, hoping that a friendly touch might bring their old crewmember back to humanity.

Doritopassion wasn't having it. He spun, gave a feral growl, and reached through landspeed's eyes into his brain using his long, crazy fingernails.

Landspeed, naturally, freaked out. He blindly grabbed his blaster, pressed the muzzle up against dorito's chest, and let'er rip.

Unfortunately, the close proximity of the shot meant that it went straight through dorito's thin chest and rebounded off the blastproof airlock. It rebounded and struck stakeout square in the tit. Stakeout went, "Gack, my tit!" Shockingly, he grabbed his blaster, and tried to shoot his other tit off for parity.

He was too busy dying to aim well, though, and the shot went wide and hit palmer. It went into palmer's body and started ricocheting around crazy, just zapping all kinds of stuff that he had in his body, like organs and his heart and muscle and stuff. It didn't hurt that much because you don't have feeling on the inside, but it was really startling, and also it killed him. But he looked death in the eye and said, "No thank you," grabbed his blaster, and turned to shoot Snatch. Then he shot stakeout, too. Then he looked death in the eye again and said, "Okay, yup," and died.

Snatch looked down at the smoking hole in his chest, then up at Palmer. He looked wounded. I don't mean the hole in his chest. Like, emotionally hurt. He took his blaster out to see if shooting Snatch would make him feel better, but Snatch collapsed in front of him. "Well, since I have my blaster out," Palmer thought, and shot Capital. Then he sat down and thought about the fields, the beautiful fields, back on Space Earth. 17. Space Earth 17.

"Ow!" said Capital. "Hoo, that makes me mad. So mad that I'm going to...shoot Snatch." He shot snatch's corpse. "That wasn't very satisfying. I'd better...shoot Surly." He shot surly. "Oh yeah, that's the stuff!" He died.

Enough time had passed at this point that Surly had become hungry and begun walking to the mess hall. He wanted a tamalé. He didn't know if they had tamalés but he hoped so. Suddenly he felt a sting in his back and his world lurched. Was this? No. He had so much to live for. Specifically, tamalés. If he could just make it to the mess hall, he could die happily. He took a few steps. He wasn't going to make it. Through the growing dim, he saw the door to Ankh's room. Good enough.

Ankh looked up from his knitting. "What is it, my friend, Surly?" he asked of the figure at his doorway.

"It's nothing," Surly said.

"You look weary," Ankh said. "Come sit a while."

"I am weary," Surly said.

"So come and sit," Ankh said.

"I will sit with you," said Surly.

"We have come a long way together."

"I fear we will not go much further."

Ankh gasped. "Whatever do you mean?"

"It is that I am dying," Surly said. "And I am not the only one."

Ankh gasped again. "Whatever do you mean, again?"

"You too are dying," Surly said.

"But I feel fine," Ankh said. He shook his head. "I am the picture of health."

"No longer," Surly said. He drew his blaster and shot Ankh in his heart.

"Ah, I indeed am dying," Ankh said. He pulled his gun out and shot terrific bedwetter, who was passing Ankh's room at just that moment. Then Ankh and Surly embraced one another, and died forever, in space.

Terrific bedwetter, as it turned out, had been under a lot of pressure, in that his skin was full of so much green gloop that when Ankh's shot pierced him he just blew the damn up. Green gloop went everywhere, as did his 'skin'—which was actually just old burlap. Low-budget aliens? Is that possible? The answer is yes.


Doritopassion is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Landspeed is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Stakeout is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Palmer is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Snatch is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Capital is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Surly is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Ankh is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
terrific bedwetter is dead. He was a Me Too.

Day 2 is over. Night 2 begins now.
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts
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Postby sleigh » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:18 pm

*kicks boots, flips revolvers, steam shoots out of ears* YEE FUCKIN HAW BOYS
so
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Postby fuckles » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:20 pm

omfg yes kill everyone
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby ric_joe » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:21 pm

internetstrange wrote:
The crew couldn't bring themselves to move bread and inspectorhound's bodies . . . it was too much to bear. They left them in the mess hall and made a group mental note to deal with it later, or just not go in that room anymore.


To my loving Captain strawberry switchblade,
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Postby landspeedrecord » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:22 pm

ooOOoo strawberry switchblade, I think I... love?, you ooOOoo
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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:22 pm

ahahahahah
omg
vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

I like it


bigcat wrote:I love many socialist policies

Ideologues of all flavors can suck my dick
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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:22 pm

best game ever
vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

I like it


bigcat wrote:I love many socialist policies

Ideologues of all flavors can suck my dick
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Postby Ankh » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:25 pm

looks like i was the only one to get a bad guy
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Postby Ankh » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:26 pm

at least surly and i got to fuck
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Postby galactagogue » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:26 pm

vivian darkbloom wrote:Posting in this thread is like the cheaper version of getting drunk

I like it


bigcat wrote:I love many socialist policies

Ideologues of all flavors can suck my dick
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Postby surly » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:32 pm

So there are 16 trigger happy bloodthirsty nuts and 4 me toos.

Genius.
lordofdiapers wrote:damn it Greedo will forever fuck that word for me
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