SSWW: Game Over: Crewmembers Win

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 2:23 pm

The vote is closed. Stand by for sp'lore.
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Postby sleigh » Sun Jan 17, 2016 2:24 pm

Capn, requesting an update update on the roster

Kssssch
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 2:26 pm

The following crewmembers exist rambunctiously on a spaceship:

*kit fox
*granger
*badvibes
*catullus
*sleigh (you)
*mudd
*big cat
*goggles, temporarily
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:43 pm

Galactagogue walked the halls of the Rare Boy alone.

She'd been in the sp'arboretum during the kerfuffle the day before. The misting nozzles had hidden the sound of the blaster fire, and so she hadn't been prepared for what she'd seen when she emerged. Carnage.

Her first stop had been Ankh's room. She'd stepped over terrible bedwetter's blast radius into the door. Ankh and Surly were still lying, prone, wrapped in one another's arms. She'd watched them for—how long? An hour? Two hours? Just thinking about companionship, loyalty, bravery, and compassion. Human virtues. Where did they come from? Were they the wellspring of love and emotion, or ideology that existed only to fuel the ship, as surely as the hyper-plutonium rods that burned in the hyper-plutonium burner? What did they do for people—people that lived, laughed, and loved and eated and prayed, people that did botany in space, people that died wrapped in one another's arms, people that were really crazy and all shot one another? In space? What good was it all? In space, I mean.

Eventually, galactagogue came back to herself. With infinite tenderness, she shut Surly and Ankh's eyes, then pulled a comforter up over the pair. With very finite tenderness, she stuck Surly's thumb in Ankh's nose. Unbelievable. Are you for real?

On her way out of their room she slipped and fell in terrific bedwetter, but managed to catch herself on the wall and straight up before getting too much on her. Then she slipped again and this time it just went everywhere. She got tb in her hair and all over her clothes and in her eyelashes, it was crazy.

She then followed Surly's trail of blood back to the airlock, and when she saw the disaster there she went, "Wow!" She drew closer to try to figure out what had happened, but she tripped over capital and fell in landspeed's brains, then when she was trying to straighten up she lost her balance and sort of rolled over doritopassion, and tried to roll away but wound up rolling into snatch and palmer and kinda flopped around between them trying to find purchase. Eventually she was able to straighten up, and she was so enthused about that that she jumped in the air and shouted, "Yes!" But when she came back down she landed in stakeout and that made a big mess. In trying to extricate herself from him she tripped over capital again and did everything that I just said over again. The whole thing took like an hour.

When she finally made it out, she found herself face-to-face with sleigh.

"What's up, sleigh?" she asked.

He shook his head. He looked a little...perturbed. His hair was greasy and stringy, and he was shuddering, and his lips were pressed tightly together.

"What's up, dude?" she asked again. "I gotta say, you're lookin' sorta crazy. What's going on? Where are the others?"

He shook his head and didn't stop shaking it. Galactagogue took a step back. His whole body was shuddering. Should she...run? Help him? What was right?

Suddenly he burst out, "I WANNA KILL YOU!" Immediately he regained his composure. "Hoo boy, sorry about that. I don't know what that was. Really felt like I was about to lose my mind."

"Haha, it's no problem," said Galactagogue. "Sometimes I, too, feel—"

Suddenly Sleigh shot Galactagogue, and Catullus was there shooting her too, and kit fox and granger were also there in the hallway shooting Galactagogue, and mudd shot Galactagogue, and everyone was shooting her at that time.

"Guh!" said Galactagogue as she was being shot. Then she got an idea. "I'll do some shooting too." She took her blaster out and shot Sleigh.

"AH, she shot me back," Sleigh said. He thought furiously. He had shot Galactagogue, but then she had shot him. That was a good amount of shooting. But was it...enough? He didn't want there to be too much shooting. Nor did he want there to be not enough shooting. He deliberated and decided that it would be wise for him to do a little more shooting, so he shot Catullus.

Catullus was disappointed to find that she'd been shot, because this meant she was going to be dying soon. Had she lived a full life? She took her sp'bucket list out of her sp'acesuit and consulted it. Fly on the Rare Boy? Check. Shoot Galactagogue? Check. Give something up for Lent one year, not as a religious thing, just as an exercise in self-discipline? Check. See space? Check. Shoot people in space? Check. Be shot by Sleigh? Check. Shoot kit fox? Ch—...wait.

So Catullus shot kit fox and then died, having lived a full and happy life. Kit fox, for his part, was an alien, so when he got shot he blew up and all the green alien goop went out of him, and it went all over everyone that was standing there, and at least a little got in everyone's mouth.


Galactagogue is dead. She was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Sleigh is dead. He was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
Catullus is dead. She was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
kit fox is dead. He was a Me Too.

Day 3 is over. Night 3 begins now.
Last edited by internetfriend on Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:44 pm

Night 3 is over. Day 4 begins now and will end when the remaining players (granger, badvibes, mudd, big cat) have all voted.
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Postby kit fox » Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:50 pm

Image

god damnit
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:55 pm

a ghost tendering an apologia for an alien.......Now I've damn heard it all. Captaingil
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Postby bigcat » Sun Jan 17, 2016 4:59 pm

badvibes
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Postby mudd » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:02 pm

After my own last couple *BEEP BEEP WHIRR* posts I should probably vote for myself. But I'm gonna *MECHANICAL SHRIEK* stick to

big cat

Beep.
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Postby granger » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:06 pm

big cat
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Postby dr. badvibes » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:17 pm

ok then, big cat
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:17 pm

Day 4 is now over. Stand by for sp'lore.
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Postby dr. badvibes » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:22 pm

spoiler: we all die
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Postby terrific bedwetter » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:33 pm

i like the events


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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:30 pm

The four remaining crewmembers aboard the ship gathered in the med bay. Not because anyone was hurt, just because it was one of the only rooms left that wasn't covered in blood. They looked at one another gravely. They'd come so far. So many had died. But still, one of their number was a bullshitter alien guy.

Big cat was the first to speak. "I think we should proceed rationally. This is a delicate choice, and the consequences for making a mistake could have intergalactic ramifications. I'd hate to—"

An enormous plume of steam jetted out of mudd, cutting big cat off. He began clanking and whirring, and his head spun around wildly. Once everyone was looking at him, he immediately quieted down and became still. A panel on his front slid aside to reveal a lewd little speaking hole, which said, "Beep boop I think we should kill you."

"Yeah," said granger.

"Big time," said badvibes.

"No don't," Big cat protested, but she was cut off again by a loud honking from mudd. Once more, everyone looked at him expectantly. Another panel on his front slid aside, revealing another gross little hole. A laser bullet came out of this one really quickly, and went into big cat.

"You idiots!" she yelled. "How could you think I was the damn alien! I hate aliens! I'm human as hell!" She fell back onto the med table, and the others all gathered around her, hoping that she'd suddenly burst open or start oozing green or something. But nope. Classic human blood, coming on out of her body.

Big cat felt her strength leaving her. She thought of everything that had brought her to this place. The sheer chance of it. Hundreds of thousands of years of ancestors, reproducing and dying. Her parents, passing along their DNA. A chance interest in space as a young girl, blossoming into a professional career. Captain Gil coming up to her at the sp'career fair and asking, "Are you a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut?", and her saying, "Yes, I am that," and him saying, "Come work for me then." Such a delicate cosmos that it would yield implausible life, and give her the love of it. Such a cruel ballet that it would take both away. Such a godless existence that it would come to an unceremonious end here, on a junky freighter drifting through the void.

She opened her eyes and looked up at the other three. Her companions, her friends, her executors. She looked at their eyes, each of them in turn, and in those brief gazes saw contained the storied years of their friendship. Then she looked at their noses, each of them in turn, and thought about all the beautiful smells they'd smelled together, in space. Then she looked at their mouths, each of them in turn, and dr. badvibes was mouthing, "I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien I'm an alien" over and over again, so she took out her blaster and shot him. Then she died.

badvibes didn't explode right away, he just started swelling up grotesquely. He looked at mudd and granger and asked, "Why? Why have you slaughtered us? We were no threat to you. We just wanted to live, and be happy, and enjoy one another's company, and you have gunned us down like lunatics."

"We're sorry," said granger. "It's just the way we are."

Then badvibes exploded, and the green went everywhere, and granger gobbled it all up like a little piggy because he loves the way that aliens taste which is disgusting. mudd just watched because mudd is a robot and cannot eat anything.

Then the two of them went to the bridge and banged on the door, and said, "Captain Gil! All the aliens are dead! We're good!"

And Captain Gil yelled back, "Really?"

And they yelled back, "Yup! Really!"

So Captain Gil opened the door and looked at his two crewmembers, who were sorta dinged up and dirty and covered in blood and gunk. And they looked at him, and he looked great, because he'd been eating well and exercising and getting plenty of sleep.

They celebrated for twenty minutes, then they pushed everyone else's bodies into space and went the rest of the way to Jupiter-1000, where they split the payment for carting 20 space-tons of sp'opium across the galaxy. Then granger and mudd shot Captain Gil in the back and divvied up his share, too. This made them both very rich and they lived forever. The end.


big cat is dead. She was a Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nut.
dr. badvibes is dead. He was a Me Too.
mudd and granger survive and are rich now. They were both Trigger-Happy Bloodthirsty Nuts.

Crew wins.
Last edited by internetfriend on Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
iambic wrote:no don't make those posts

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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:39 pm

thanks for playing guys. i was sorta back and forth about whether i should do this because i didn't know if it'd work or if people would be mad or not. i was glad that you guys stuck with it. it actually IS a sort of reasonable game despite the roles, i think. it's just also ridiculous. anyway this was a lot of fun for me. hope you had fun too. xoxo
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Postby Catullus » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:41 pm

WEE YAY CREW!!
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Postby VHB » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:43 pm

I honestly thought your goal was to literally kill everyone, make Fuckles happy, and have that be the Moral Of The Story. Expected this final chain of retaliation kills to wipe all 4 remaining players out.

It was fun gradually figuring out what was actually going on and I would like to hear from the players on when/how quickly they put together the pieces.


[...I wish the mindworm had been real :( ]
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:44 pm

i think the mindworm is probably impossible unless the mod REALLY trusts the mindworm to be honest about who has talked to them

the other roles would work fine though
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Postby internetfriend » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:45 pm

i was also really expecting this to 'break' somehow in a way that i hadn't foreseen, leaving us all stranded in an unsatisfying and interminable game. or for people to no-vote suicide. glad no one did that :)
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Postby VHB » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:49 pm

Personal highlights include:

Snatch RPing as Space Lord [mother, mother]

Bingo being so chill he didn't even notice his own death

Bread establishing the fireax as her recurring character gimmick. #cross-game continuity

EIGHT PLAYER RETALIATION KILL CHAIN :twisted:
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Postby mudd » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:50 pm

well I survived, but big cat won the game. well played, big cat, and I'm sorry I voted you to death.

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Postby bigcat » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:53 pm

It was a crapshoot mudd! I embraced death in the end. Thanks IS especially for writing the nonused roles--a tour de force.
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Postby kit fox » Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:53 pm

yeah when big cat came in with the badvibes vote I knew we were done. kudos cat.

good game yall, fun surprises. We figured out the trigger happy bloodthirsty nut thing in alien chat as soon as the first day's results came in, since we knew we were all me-toos.
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Postby fuckles » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:13 pm

[quote="VH Balanced"]I honestly thought your goal was to literally kill everyone, make Fuckles happy, and have that be the Moral Of The Story.
/quote]
oh boy i am very happy regardless
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Postby Catullus » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:19 pm

This game ruled, great job guys haha.

Needed some levity in between tabbing this tournament haha
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Postby sevenarts » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:21 pm

Amazing game. I love the dedication of writing all those roles and not using them.
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Postby palmer eldritch » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:22 pm

who says we need seers to win
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Postby dr. badvibes » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:40 pm

Snatch wrote:I was wondering whether someone would try to use the retaliation kill on themselves

i concluded it probably wasn't legal, but if i'd been able to vote for myself i think it would have forced a tie. although even if it was legal it would have been a huge gamble on Gil ending the day before anyone else switched votes due to my obvious alienitude

kit fox wrote:yeah when big cat came in with the badvibes vote I knew we were done. kudos cat.

i almost tried a last ditch ploy to say i reread the votes and granger was obviously team good (i did, and he was), and that no one should trig hap him, hoping that big cat would reread the votes and see that i was right and maybe not shoot me. the problem was that rereading the votes also shows that i was obviously bad, and even if it didn't he'd probably go with his first instinct and blast me.
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Postby mudd » Sun Jan 17, 2016 7:52 pm

VH Balanced wrote:It was fun gradually figuring out what was actually going on and I would like to hear from the players on when/how quickly they put together the pieces.


I figured out there must be a lot of bloodthirsties as soon as surly and snatch voted prematurely. Hoped surly would give up more info when I voted for him, but it was such a blaze of weird votes by then it probably didn't seem worth addressing.

after day 1 resolved and night 1 went quiet it was pretty obvious.
I did entertain the concern that a me too might transform into something uglier if the game carried on too long, but turns out there was no risk.

this is a hard one for team alien because they have to have the last two standing to survive the cascade. Maybe if an empty ship counted as an alien win the stakes would be more even?

Anyway yeah it was a lot of fun, to play and to read. Thanks IS!

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