HPN WW Lucky #13 - EMPLOYEES WIN!

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby Kaputt » Mon Feb 01, 2016 6:09 am

SPECIAL FEBRUARY OFFER - in honour of billy crogan's smoke hole - order any pizza and ask for "extra herbs". Slip papa an extra twenty and you'll get some high grade og kush to make your pizza even more tasty
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Postby Kaputt » Mon Feb 01, 2016 6:38 am

I'm currently drawing up a list of suspects. Definitely think we should be taking a closer look at ankh.
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 11:56 am

my name is wendy

i'm a cousin of the late fire chief general livia lazarus. she left her fireax to me in her will, so be warned - i am armed!

hobbies include pizza, making pizza, making delicious pizza, making delicious pizza quickly, making delicious pizza quickly without compromising quality, making delicious pizza quickly without compromising quality and getting that delicious uncompromised pizza to our valued customers, and volunteering at big brothers big sisters. my small person is named is emmeline and she has a real life big sister so i don't know why the fuck they stuck her with me.

i'm excited to work with all of you :)
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 11:59 am

I don't know y'all this Wendy girl sounds like a kiss ass
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:00 pm

oh i'm sorry if i wasn't clear

i compete with papa john's in my free time

also, money laundering
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:04 pm

anyway, stop by the spotted zebra for a bite to eat! it's in my basement.
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:08 pm

NOT the basement where my late cousin livia lazarus was buried

that's the sub-basement

50% off on takeout AND eat-in if you worked directly with my late cousin livia lazarus. however, anyone else that knew her is not welcome in my establishment.
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Postby adamtrask » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:16 pm

Hey, I knew Livia. Bringing back a bit of a past life with talk of her.
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby VHB » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:21 pm

Pepperoni always slays!

He always sung while he worked. He couldn't help it. His first job had been delivering singing telegrams and the training had stuck with him. Through the years, through the job changes... and through THE INJURY.

Gonna be a lovely day!

He didn't like to think about the injury. Neck damage was scary. Often permanent. There were whispers, and he heard them constantly, that he was not the same since. He would never admit it, but it hurt him to hear it. So he let it motivate him.

Running out of anchovies!

He couldn't turn his head as fully to process an order as he used to. He couldn't toss the dough as high in the air as he used to. And he only ever had the same one sing-song melody at his disposal every time he sang. But damn it, he had been the best pizza chef in the country, and he would be again.

Long enough for those options to vest, anyway. And then he'd be home free. Just hang on for one more year...

Can't afford to lose this job!

Movement out of the corner of his eye. He thought he saw a masked helmet, heard the bellow of a war cry as someone charged... he winced and gasped as quietly as he could. Turning his head that quickly did not come without cost anymore. But no, it was just the excitable new girl arriving Technically Not Late. He, of course, always showed up an hour early. It was his preparation that had separated him from the rest, and his work ethic that made him a valued employee. People were often perplexed that he had, for all his talent and enthusiasm, only been Employee Of The Month one time. Not like Tom, the asshole with the perfectly coiffed hair who had been Employee of the Month four times despite his habit of deliberately under-expanding the crust on his pizzas.

Where the fuck you at now, Tom?

Tom getting fired was a great day.

I bested you in the end!

Every day was a great day when you had the opportunity to cook and sell Papa John's fine product. To work with better ingredients. To make a better pizza.

Everybody gather up!

He assembled the team, as was his habit, right before the shift officially began. "Okay morning team, put your hands in the circle. We're gonna cook like rock stars today, right?" He began shouting. "LET'S DO THIS! PIZZA ON THREE! 1 2 3 PIZZA!"

Gotta motivate the crew! he sang to himself.
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby adamtrask » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:24 pm

If you haven't noticed, this fella used to work at the Chipotle down the street. When he got the job over here slinging pizzas with the rest of us, he tried to port over the cult-like motivation techniques they had over there.

It's all too much.
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby VHB » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:25 pm

adamtrask wrote:If you haven't noticed, this fella used to work at the Chipotle down the street. When he got the job over here slinging pizzas with the rest of us, he tried to port over the cult-like motivation techniques they had over there.

It's all too much.


Transferred from Denver actually
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:25 pm

lemmy. my late cousin livia lazarus spoke highly of you. i'm starting a line of pre-made pizza dough, take as many as you want. just roll them out, add toppings, and bake at 500 degrees for 8 to 12 minutes. they also freeze really well if you don't plan on using them immediately.
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:25 pm

I'm Todd, I sell adderall to everyone
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby adamtrask » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:27 pm

Who wants to hotbox the walk in?
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby fuckles » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:34 pm

i'm connor

i can't wait to go home and play halo on my xbox 360
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby VHB » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:51 pm

fuckles wrote:i'm connor

i can't wait to go home and play halo on my xbox 360


How are you at Madden, bro?
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:56 pm

I used to be sick at Madden
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby werd » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:06 pm

I'm Kyle

I only got this job cause mom said now that I'm 30 she won't buy my taquitos and Mountain Dew anymore but it's ok I guess

kyle honey, dinner is ready

god

shut up mom I'm playing a game on the Internet with my friends

I hate her so much

anyways I'll destroy any of you losers at counter strike
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hologram wrote:basically burn down your local whole foods and punch a cop because the galaxy don't give a fuck
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Postby fuckles » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:20 pm

VH Balanced wrote:
fuckles wrote:i'm connor

i can't wait to go home and play halo on my xbox 360


How are you at Madden, bro?

sports are dumb
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:27 pm

You're dumb!
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby werd » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:29 pm

let's play mortal kombat to settle this
night moves wrote:I will not be made fun of by someone who watches animes


hologram wrote:basically burn down your local whole foods and punch a cop because the galaxy don't give a fuck
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:29 pm

God damnit werd
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:30 pm

Let's play Melee or Street Fighter but let's definitely not play Mortal Kombat to settle this
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby werd » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:31 pm

I would destroy you at mortal kombat
night moves wrote:I will not be made fun of by someone who watches animes


hologram wrote:basically burn down your local whole foods and punch a cop because the galaxy don't give a fuck
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Postby lordofdiapers » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:31 pm

A) Mortal Kombat sucks

B) No you wouldn't
Stuntman wrote:Does anyone remember Late Night Cheeseburger? That was my jam. Tasted like BO.

<3
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Postby werd » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:33 pm

A) you suck

B) I'm probably the best mortal kombat player in this pizza shop so yes, I would destroy you

C) you're mom lol
night moves wrote:I will not be made fun of by someone who watches animes


hologram wrote:basically burn down your local whole foods and punch a cop because the galaxy don't give a fuck
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Postby wendy » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:34 pm

anyone ever heard of a game called mario?

once, i watched someone play it. through the window of the toy store in my town. i wasn't allowed in on account of being feral.
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Postby The Unblinking Eye » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:38 pm

I just installed a Tekken cabinet in the lobby for all employee grudge matches to be played on.
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Postby adamtrask » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:41 pm

i think we ought to get a 1942 cabinet, boss

the kids love it
Stuntman wrote:The party's over and we're just the people who are too drunk to drive home and everyone is fighting over who gets to sleep on the couch.
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Postby The Unblinking Eye » Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:45 pm

Yeah, but do you know how much those things go for these days?
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