Gouging out Zooey Deschanel's eyes + eating them like grapes

[Broncobama]

YAAARRRGGHHHH!!

[gold and glass]

tranch tranch tranch

[1986]

You know all the sci fi stories about machines developing self awareness and taking over the world? I don't think that would happen if Zooey Deschanel became self-aware.

[sleigh]

She did not say and then let herself be quoted as having said "My specialness is not appreciated in this place"

That could not have happened

[Jeremy]

Man everything is wrong with America.

[1986]

At age 32, she literally has not yet developed theory of mind.

[Marx & Engels]

"I'm the outsider who's on the inside."

[sleigh]

*Zooey Deschanel staring blankly at the e-mail from Mee-ow, listing the new additions to the improv group, a list which does not include her*

*Zooey Deschanel staring blankly at her roommate, who has just asked her to please use headphones to listen to her music.*

*Zooey Deschanel staring blankly at Alison dining hall's serve yourself counter. There are no hot cookies left.*

[Rumpleforeskin]

just picturing the "Heathers" of the La Jolla Magnet Performing Arts High School, Kate Hudson, Rihanna, and like Justin Guarini's older sister cornering an impressionable Zooey Deschanel in the girls bathroom.

"who did your mom fuck to get you in here?"
"Good luck getting casting directors to pronounce your stupid name, stupid blue-eyes"
"heard your audition for the talent show, your uncle looks like a molester and your voice sounds like my cat"

*spiiiit* *cry*

Rihanna lights up a cigarette and snaps her fingers, and the other two rush to the door and open it for her.

"better watch it, Zo-ho. If you EVER want to be an IT girl in this town, you gots to play by the rules."

"MY RULES"

*blows smoke in face and laughs as she walks away*










see the life I've haaaaaaad can make a good giiiirl go

baaaaaaaaaaaad

[Feech La Manna]

It's comforting to know that she really is a horrible person

[Feech La Manna]

I want to give her a piece of bread with gluten in it and tell her it's gluten-free and watch her eat the bread and tell her there's gluten in it

[1986]

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/zooey-deschanel-im-no-beauty-queen-16115624.html
Zooey Deschanel was "horrified" when she accidentally entered a beauty pageant as a teenager.

"At 14 I accidentally entered a beauty pageant.

I thought I was entering a talent contest - a pageant was not cool!"

[Jeremy]

Aaugh!

[Milquetoaster Strudels]

She is the indie embodiment of Cathy

[SNC]

The new girl is the best show huh

[Totally]

God her nose is fucking horrible I just noticed and she really cannot sing is anyone calling bullshit on her talk-singing the fuck can she just die.

[fox]

you give scrump a bad name

[Jeremy]

you give scrump a bad name

Jesus.

[d2michael]

steve must be rolling in his grave

[Spotlight Kid]

steve must be rolling in his grave

This is so, so, so, bad.

[wuk]

i gotta say the new girl is a decent show despite her.

[theta]

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/zooey-deschanel-im-no-beauty-queen-16115624.html
Zooey Deschanel was "horrified" when she accidentally entered a beauty pageant as a teenager.

"At 14 I accidentally entered a beauty pageant.

I thought I was entering a talent contest - a pageant was not cool!"

[antoine]

steve must be rolling in his grave

I hate Apple.

[atomicbombshell]

has this been posted?

[VHGisdead]

nope!

[atomicbombshell]

hahaha

i'm leaving it

[murray st.]

i want to smooch zooey

[addison]

has this been posted?

this picture elicits the same kind of visceral churn i got one time when i was really high and i couldn't drink the soda water because it tasted too sharp

[nibelheim]

christ

Zooey Deschanel to Play Loretta Lynn in 'Coal Miner's Daughter'

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/zooey-deschanel-lands-lead-role-in-broadways-coal-miners-daughter-20120511

[Shalabi]

she has too much hair