I don't know the crabwalk story, but dan's also responsible for this:
dan wrote:During a computer class in 11th grade, a student went out to use the bathroom very early in the period, but returned quickly, laughing so hard that it disrupted all of the computer work. The teacher was a nice lady in her 60's and she didn't make a big deal,just told the kid to calm down and get back to his computer. So the kid starts telling his friend that he has to go see whats in the handicapped stall of the bathroom. That kid goes to check it out, and comes back the same way, laughing hard. He tells all of several of his friends and soon it gets around to the whole side of the room ,and then to me, that someone took the worlds largest shit in the handicapped stall of the upstairs bathroom. Boys are lining up to take the bathroom pass so they can see it. And the whole classroom is starting to get out of control, everyone is talking loudly, laughing, nobody is working. The teacher is trying to keep things sane, but eventually one boy comes back and just paces around one side of the room looking confused and astounded. When she asks him to sit down and do his work, he says "Naw.After seeing that, I can't do anything else today. I'm just...I'm done." She trys to insist again but he responds "Believe me, if you saw it, you'd understand." Not a single person in the class is doing work anymore, even the hardcore straight-A academic students, and everyone is losing their minds. So she just decides to call cancel the day's work, everyone can do whatever they want for the rest of the period.
Well finally the bathroom pass comes back and at last I get my chance to see what everyone was going nuts over. I was actually ready to be disappointed, thinking no shit could ever live up to that hype. I walk out of the class, into the nearby bathroom, and walk slowly into the last stall, the handicapped stall. I open up the door, and my eyes widened, even from 10 feet away. I walked closer and got a good look. And it was the biggest piece of shit I had ever seen in my life.This thing was easily the length of my fingertips to my elbow, a good 15 inches. It wasn't the length that impressed me though, it was the girth. This thing was noticeably wider than a pringles can for its whole length . I would say it was closer to the width of a tub of frosting, or a bit less than the width of a CD. There was no toilet paper in the bowl, so you could make out the the whole thing somewhat clearly, thought the water was a pretty murky brown by the time I got there. It was coiled around several times, and there were smaller chunks of shit floating around it. It had a very light brown color and I by looks it seemed like it was very soft. I was actually amazed by the overall lack of smell, it wasn't odorless by any means, but it didn't smell anywhere near as bad as you would have thought. I was looked at it for about a minute, trying to gauge its size, before I returned to class.
I came back looking amazed, and the boys were like "WE TOLD YA!" Some boys went back to see it again, several at a time, crammed into the stall. A lot of the boys took pictures on their cell phones. But nobody there had any idea who could have made that shit, or how an ass could handle pushing that out. And nobody knows what happened to it in the end, because it was there at the end of the school day, but gone the next morning. But I think we'll all remember it.