hey dudes autastic is trying to hangout with me

[someguy]

at least iambic paid for his own flight

[Locke]

how do i make message boards work for ME? (and my d)

[blogger status]

are you familiar with fetlife Locke?

[Legion]

I guess I don't understand how you could come out even after scraping together some money from the board but then mailing cookies internationally

... send them by boat and hope they don't go stale after 8 weeks?

[crooked]

any boarders wanna fuck

[blogger status]

crooked check pms

[Milquetoaster Strudels]

how has shivers not come in and mentioned Deakin's trip to Africa yet? This was like his one relevant moment to shine with that story.

[Destroyevsky]

at least iambic paid for his own flight

it's an interesting issue. To be submitted for consideration by the Journal of Board Theory

while we justly celebrate every consummated homosocial or homosexual board relationship (mites and jeremy, Gherig and DWB; McWop and the guy with the tinman avatar; edgeev and mcphee; lb and morbo), hetero-romances are most appreciated in flirtatious potentia (roy and frank; weasel and johnk). Out-and-proud Board couples are usually met with irritation (girldish and jugdish; lonely tree and collinsworth; mags and aubrey and--i would venture, when pushing it too far--iambic and sordid) or cheered on in their dissolute liasons (walrus and papermina and jbrooks; pinksnake and awesomeslut).

The one exception is SVC and Merciel, who i think just manage to keep it together by their considerable--and notably a-romantic--charisma. That is, they succeed as a couple precisely by perfomatively negating the joussiance of relationships itself. In the middle of the spectrum, Sordid and Iambic are sexualized but, like Someguy pointed out, discrete in relation to the board, so they usually work. There is also a subclass of known but infrequent board couples who do not really call attention to themselves or board as a unit (Catallus and Bob; port and hektor; suspension bridge and the dancing frat bro av guy; 9.5 and abs). Toof and Autastic, in contrast to all of this, are literally asking the board to help them fuck. It would've been a much better thread if they had already fucked and needed us to raise money to get autastic a plane ticket home.

I theorize this pattern comes from the board's polygynous structure, where the girl/guy boarder ratio must be like 1/100. A hetero-couple effectively takes the woman out of the flirtatious board circulation, provoking jealousy and resentment. The particular incarnation of this structural predicament is, of course, Beyerstein.

Man I am gonna have hella senders remorse after pressing submit.

[chimp_]

they succeed as a couple precisely by perfomatively negating the joussiance of relationships itself.

you're gonna have to walk me through this one

[Destroyevsky]

well i wanted to be discreet on that point myself...as far the board is concerned, they don't have sex.

[chimp_]

gonna suggest that a lot of people don't really like to see happy couples all up in their place they come to be depressed and bitter. couple behaviour can be a little grating if you aren't part of it. iambic/sordid, svc/merciel get passes because they're well-liked and good boarders anyway. no hate for autastic/toofer but they aren't nearly as loved as the couples already mentioned

[Destroyevsky]

except look at the joy of all the bromances here...it's the opposite of depressed and bitter

[chimp_]

well i wanted to be discreet on that point myself...as far the board is concerned, they don't have sex.

yeah i guess but i don't think any of the couples here discuss their sex lives do they? maybe they have and i wasn't paying attention

[glock mane]

i've had sex

[chimp_]

i think the "bromance" is less conspicuous and seems more attainable so provokes less resentment

[Destroyevsky]

well right, my point is the successful ones don't. But there are ones that do, and it's not really well-received unless it's blowing up in their faces.

[chimp_]

the flirting thing is definitely part of it

is this anthropology

[Destroyevsky]

i wish!

[traced out]

can't believe you forgot the kid8 fury bromance

but most of those disaster couplings are just people who are aggressively annoying, has nothing to do with luridness; remember, the board reacted more negatively to the alterboard irl clique than any of those pairs

[Petty]

That destroyevsky post is so serious about the board, but it's still pretty good

[traced out]

it's also pretty insulting to imply the negative vibe is hetero-jealousy rather than everyone hating panhandlers

stick this crap in the local letters to the editor: boardermetrics requires evidence grounded in reality

[chimp_]

yeah i mean "can you guys, like, give us money?" isn't a guaranteed strategy for popularity

[Toofer_Spurlock]

yeah i mean "can you guys, like, give us money?" isn't a guaranteed strategy for popularity

Well, this is kind of canceled, and I think Autastic is planning on returning all of the money she made and probably sending out cookies anyway. She made that tumblr post mostly for our friends in real life and posted it on facebook and we figured it wouldn't hurt to post it on the board, and it didn't and a lot of people were very kind and donated to her but I can see why it would upset some people. Iambic did pay for his own flight, and were I flying there (which I plan to now) I would pay for my own flight and I wouldn't ask the board or any of my friends for anything. But I can afford to do things like that, and Autastic can't and she has a talent for baking and being nice to people so she was trying to use that. Thanks for being cool guys.

[chimp_]

wait, if you can afford to fly out there can't you pay for her to visit you?

[Petty]

So why didn't you go that way to begin with? I hear they have kangaroos in Australia, for a start.

[Toofer_Spurlock]

wait, if you can afford to fly out there can't you pay for her to visit you?

You try telling an independent minded young woman in 2012 that you're going to pay 2k for her to visit you and see how she reacts.

[Toofer_Spurlock]

So why didn't you go that way to begin with? I hear they have kangaroos in Australia, for a start.

Because I was about to be moving into a great New York apartment, but that all got fucked up.

[chimp_]

wait, if you can afford to fly out there can't you pay for her to visit you?

You try telling an independent minded young woman in 2012 that you're going to pay 2k for her to visit you and see how she reacts.

honestly not trying to be a dick here but couldn't you have lent it to her and had her pay it back afterwards? you guys actually had the cash between you but still wanted to ask everyone to donate? sorry man but come on

[Toofer_Spurlock]

wait, if you can afford to fly out there can't you pay for her to visit you?

You try telling an independent minded young woman in 2012 that you're going to pay 2k for her to visit you and see how she reacts.

honestly not trying to be a dick here but couldn't you have lent it to her and had her pay it back afterwards? you guys actually had the cash between you but still wanted to ask everyone to donate? sorry man but come on

"Everyone" is a stretch. Anyone who wanted to and could afford a couple bucks. Between you makes it sound like it would've been 50/50 as opposed to mostly me just kind of footing the bill. And, it's not as if what you're saying isn't something I suggested. And less cute than a bake sale.

[G_S]

none of this is cute