Shadiest shit you've done

[sunrise]

I took a piss in the corner of a club sometime last year.

[Vaneigem]

you're always pissing on people's shit bro, you got a fetish or something?

[sunrise]

No explanations

[fuckles]

shat my pants at a friend's house while watching him play mega man 2

[mites]

I've told this story before but when I was 5 I hit a kid in the head with a rock because he had so much excess ear wax and wouldn't ever leave me alone doing recess.

it made my mom cry and she thought she had raised a serial killer

[gauchebag]

damn this thread made me remember like 100 things i've done, i'd say like 80% of them worse than anything anyone in this thread has done.

but some of you are real scumbags. (i esp felt bad for that ex-gf who was cooking you xmas dinner and you ditched her for an ex. on xmas. that was fucked)

oh and i'm never posting my secrets on the internet again.

[gauchebag]

oh and also here is a story not involving me that i remembered when that "hate crime" comment about guy incognito's xmas tree thing came up.

this guys at some frat house at college, well their frat house was right across the street from the college jewish center or whatever. so one day i guess they were roasting a pig or whatever out on their front lawn and apparently these guys tossed the pig carcass once they were done with it like onto the entrance of the jewish center (i suppose through a window would have been more badass or whatever, maybe that's what they did)

anyway, there was a huge controversy and there was talk of it being charged as a hate crime but i don't think anyone ever named names.

[mcwop23]

I took a piss in the corner of a club sometime last year.

Me and Andrei Sama did this at some fucking show in Brooklyn when the bathroom line was retarded long

[BlackSugar]

I took a leak in the corner of a racquetball court while my foster brother was breakdancing. got caught by the manager and when asked why I was like "I honestly have no idea"

[Kevin McCallister]

I took a piss in the corner of a club sometime last year.

Me and Andrei Sama did this at some fucking show in Brooklyn when the bathroom line was retarded long

Was it at The Shank?

[theoden king]

I took a leak in the corner of a racquetball court while my foster brother was breakdancing. got caught by the manager and when asked why I was like "I honestly have no idea"

you're right, having a foster brother is really shady

[deep space]

When I was living in Tokyo I had a really weird sleep pattern for pretty much the first month. I would go to the convenience store in the middle of the night to get cold drinks because it was so hot and humid. To get to the store you had to go down a back alley between two really tall buildings and on one occasion there was a drunk 'salary man' just laying flat out unbelievably drunk in the alley. I tried to wake him up but had no real luck, he just kept pushing me off and falling back on his face. I bought him a bottle of water from the vending machine in the alley and left it by him, and went off to the store. Ten minutes later on my way back I find the guy in pretty much the same position except he's more alert and has seemingly thrown the water bottle I bought him down the street. He starts shouting at me, calling me a foreigner and giggling to himself, at which point, and I'm still not sure why, I just totally lose my shit. He's rolling around on the floor giggling and tries to reach for my ankle as I pass so I kick out, catching him in the ribs. His shouting is getting louder as I walk away so i pick up the bottle of water and throw it towards him but channeling my wired 3am energy and anger my throw is ridiculously powerful and the bottle catches him flush in the face. I ran back to my flat with him whimpering behind me and felt shitty for days.

[1986]

I hit a kid in the head with a rock because he had so much excess ear wax

what

[mites]

obviously that wasn't the reason but I don't remember what he was harassing me about but he also had crazy levels of ear wax

[fuckles]

• took a dump in the ocean

[nautical hyperblast]

drunk coming home from the bars in college in late dec/early jan, my frienda and i saw fit to find a stranger's unlocked car and stuff a christmas tree from the curb inside it.

the asshole in me still finds this kinda funny, and it was most likely some 20 year old's shitty 1998 hyundai or something, but in retrospect that was pretty fuckin annoying.

if this happened to me and nothing in car got ruined i would totally seem the humor

yeah this is a really solid prank and i'd just assume my friends did it.

[Sleepy]

I inadvertently made a girl with down syndrome cry at her prom.

[Sam Bash]

kicked the face of my friend's car stereo after stepping in a pile of fresh dog shit

[ghostguts]

I'm pretty sure I became a photographer for the sole reason of banging disproportionately attractive women

[swamp thing]

woah, does that work? didnt know we had any photographers on the board, that rocks dude

[mutism]

accidently kneed a toddler in the face in a department store. it was a unique kind of thunk

i mean you just don't expect a human to be down there

[Ted Pikul]

Yeah toddlers are like rats

[worrywort]

one time in middle school i stayed overnight at a friend's house, and in the morning i had to pee really bad but his sister was in the shower, so i just went into his laundry room and peed on the ground. a couple months later the same exact situation happened but this time i took a glass with me and peed in there, then came back in and poured it down the kitchen sink.

[southpaw]

Lit a bus seat on fire and blamed it on the gay kid
Ejaculated on a dollar bill and gave it to the lunch lady
Failed an entire semester of college, then printed out a fake report card so I'd still be able to study abroad the next semester
Ditched work to go back home over Christmas break, emailing saying it was an emergency as my friend had contracted some weird rare disease (strangely it turned out that a person in the town had contracted the same disease so when they googled it my story checked out)
Worked at a place where I literally did nothing for 5 months
When the Mormons were giving out bibles years ago I found a stash of "Get a free bible!" postcards and had 75 bibles sent to a guy I knew, they literally still contact him 10 years later
Got drunk on Southern Comfort when I was in high school, then blackoutingly drunk drove to Walgreens to get smokes for a chick I was fingering who was on her period

I'm a better person than then

[ghostguts]

one time in middle school i stayed overnight at a friend's house, and in the morning i had to pee really bad but his sister was in the shower, so i just went into his laundry room and peed on the ground. a couple months later the same exact situation happened but this time i took a glass with me and peed in there, then came back in and poured it down the kitchen sink.

so much lost potential with the sister in the shower

[swamp thing]

skip out on work constantly with flimsy 0-effort excuses

literally didnt go in one day because i felt like jerking off that morning, and ended up falling back asleep afterwards ("working from home today, gotta take care of some family stuff")


my first visit home from college i had a massive bottle of codeine cough syrup that i was pretty much wrecked on for the entire week, this was like the size of a 5th of liquor, absurd

my first night there my dad and i were supposed to go to this korean bbq place with one of my best friends and his dad

by the time we get there i am shitfaced, i have been drinking and smoking and taking this cough syrup since i woke up because i'm a grown up now, dad, and i am not hiding it very well. the cough syrup bottle is like tucked in my jacket pocket

midway through the meal i said I was getting a call that might be important and stumbled outside to have a cigarette. about halfway through it i realized that i had, for the whole time i was outside, cackling wildly to myself while stumbling around and smoking, been directly outside the window our table was at

[mcneil]

in high school i slept with a girl who was currently seeing this other dude who was sort of in our circle of friends, we were both drunk and she was wearing this ring that he'd given her, for whatever reason i asked if i could borrow it and she said yes so i put it on. the next morning we couldn't find it anywhere. turned out it belonged to the other guy's dad and was worth some money. not thousands or anything, but worth money and had some sentimental value. what an arsehole.

and yeah, stealing pills/alcohol

[mcneil]

you know that feeling when you been posting in a thread and you just know that at any moment someone is gonna come in here and be all, "everyone who posted in here should be shot"

[grizzleb]

skip out on work constantly with flimsy 0-effort excuses

literally didnt go in one day because i felt like jerking off that morning, and ended up falling back asleep afterwards ("working from home today, gotta take care of some family stuff")


my first visit home from college i had a massive bottle of codeine cough syrup that i was pretty much wrecked on for the entire week, this was like the size of a 5th of liquor, absurd

my first night there my dad and i were supposed to go to this korean bbq place with one of my best friends and his dad

by the time we get there i am shitfaced, i have been drinking and smoking and taking this cough syrup since i woke up because i'm a grown up now, dad, and i am not hiding it very well. the cough syrup bottle is like tucked in my jacket pocket

midway through the meal i said I was getting a call that might be important and stumbled outside to have a cigarette. about halfway through it i realized that i had, for the whole time i was outside, cackling wildly to myself while stumbling around and smoking, been directly outside the window our table was at

This post is my favourite so far.

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

it was the ugliest girlfriend contest

in the OP i solicited for people to submit pictures of their girlfriend. the winner of the contest would get $200 i think

most of of the pictures were of attractive girls then one guy posted a pic of maybe not the most attractive girl and he said she was cool with it and they bought a guitar

They ended up getting engaged, actually: http://forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php?p=71869#p71869

Also it was $50 each from dbot, gehrig, and me.