Shadiest shit you've done

[grizzleb]

Threw some racial epithets at my pretty good friend in a place I worked at when we were all drunk as fuck a couple of times (he was pakistani). I don't really even know why I did it. Latent racism/dickishness obviously. I think about it quite alot. I don't speak to him at all now.

[Jeremy]

I used to steal expired off-brand film from the dollar store. I probably saved eight dollars in my life doing that.

[hiddenicon]

i stole take out chinese food and sleeping pills on a pretty regular basis for several years. also semi-participated in a roommate and some of his friends ripping off a grow site... he just showed up at the house with a few hefty bags of pot. all i could think about was how bummed those other guys must have been when they showed up at the site and found it picked clean.

i mean, i didnt think about it for long cause i was solid stoned for at least a month after...

[Rhodes]

When I was in the seventh or eighth grade I was really thirsty one Friday night. I didn't feel like drinking boring old water or milk or whatever else my parents stocked the fridge with; so I stole a Bartles & Jaymes margarita cooler that was practically saying to me, "C'mon, Rhodes... you know you wanna drink us" from the side pocket of the fridge door. This led to a second, and a third, and so on. I drank the entire pack over the course of the televised running time of The Flight of the Navigator.

The next day my mom discovered that the coolers were missing. She deduced that it was probably me who drank them, having ruled out herself, her husband, and my sisters, who weren't even home that night.

The worst part was coming up with a sufficiently persuasive argument to convince her that I wasn't a teen alcoholic in need of treatment.

[Rhodes]

I think I might've even made a halfhearted attempt to accuse them of drinking the coolers themselves, which I supported by insinuating that maybe they forgot because they were drunk.

[Trill]

I remember when I was really little, maybe around 8 years old, this younger kid on my bus ride home from school around 6 or 7 would do whatever you told him to do because he wanted to fit in and be liked so I told him to say dumb shit. It started off with simple things like "Say I am dumb really loud" or "tell the kid next to you you love him" and he would yell or say it on the bus....but unfortunately my desire for power escalated to the point of me saying "Say you are going to commit suicide" and he did. He repeated it over and over and got louder and louder until the bus driver heard it and naturally, i got into serious trouble. Good thing about this story is I was too young to really understand what suicide was. I cant imagine if i did this type of thing in high school.....shit is fucked up

[Rhodes]

I used to routinely skip school with my junior-year gf. We'd call each other in, posing as our parents. Then, when the mail delivered the notice of an unexcused absence to my mom's house, I'd intercept it just before my step-dad got home.

Shameful

[Trill]

I used to routinely skip school with my junior-year gf. We'd call each other in, posing as our parents. Then, when the mail delivered the notice of an unexcused absence to my mom's house, I'd intercept it just before my step-dad got home.

Shameful

That is pretty fucking brilliant man. Aint no shame in it.

[Rhodes]

Yeah, but lately I've been thinking about all the terrible things I've done behind my mom's back. She still doesn't know about the truancy, 12 years later.

[Rhodes]

I mean she called me a wonderful son the other day, and I couldn't help but feel like I didn't deserve it :/

[Rhodes]

That being said, my own boy is prob. gonna be the death of me someday.

[bill murray]

drank flavor extracts for alcohol

oh man i used to do this a bunch when i was like 14 and in a really fucked up relationship

mint essence mixed with coke. poor man schnapps.


so, so, so gross

[gold and glass]

[silverapples]

drank flavor extracts for alcohol

oh man i used to do this a bunch when i was like 14 and in a really fucked up relationship

mint essence mixed with coke. poor man schnapps.


so, so, so gross

i think i did this as recently as last year

[theta]

i stole take out chinese food and sleeping pills on a pretty regular basis for several years. also semi-participated in a roommate and some of his friends ripping off a grow site... he just showed up at the house with a few hefty bags of pot. all i could think about was how bummed those other guys must have been when they showed up at the site and found it picked clean.

i mean, i didnt think about it for long cause i was solid stoned for at least a month after...

how does one steal take out chinese food

[Grover]

one time when i was really broke i ordered a pizza to some apartment in my building and waited in the bushes for the delivery guy to arrive then stole three giant pizzas out of his car.

[hiddenicon]

local grocery store chain serves it in the back by the deli, gives it to you to pay for up front. at this particular place, the counter would put it in a bag for you to carry while you finished your shopping and then THE GAME WAS AFOOT!

[manvstrees]

tonight i walked into a bar and saw a shuffleboard game in progress and just grabbed and piece and slung it
then i immediately realized what an asshole i was and apologized and bought the two guys playing a round of beers, who the fuck does something like that (was about 6 beers deep)
this embarrassment will last me a month

[Weasel]

one time when i was really broke i ordered a pizza to some apartment in my building and waited in the bushes for the delivery guy to arrive then stole three giant pizzas out of his car.

I remember you doing this, and I remember thinking it was the most genius thing you've ever done. I still think so.

[badhat]

think probably its still tricking my (then) GF into confessing to me that she cheated on me by spoofing her best friends email address by replacing an "m" with an "rn" and carrying on an email thread as the best friend, wherein she spilled her guts.

[white mage]

one time when i was really broke i ordered a pizza to some apartment in my building and waited in the bushes for the delivery guy to arrive then stole three giant pizzas out of his car.

I remember you doing this, and I remember thinking it was the most genius thing you've ever done. I still think so.

dude what. that is low

[The Dirty Turtle]

badhat, you have the inclinations of a good hacker, some people will be....contacting you

[badhat]

that entire saga is pretty entertaining. i wish i had it saved somewhere so i didnt have to retype it from scratch whenever it comes up here, once a year or so.

[Weasel]

one time when i was really broke i ordered a pizza to some apartment in my building and waited in the bushes for the delivery guy to arrive then stole three giant pizzas out of his car.

I remember you doing this, and I remember thinking it was the most genius thing you've ever done. I still think so.

dude what. that is low

Dude what. Do you hate having fun and eating pizza?

[Weasel]

I think I just realized why Klint and I get along so well.

[joe]

I've probably told hipinion this story before but:

a series of incidents in band class with a fellow percussionist, barry, who only had one ball and clearly had learning disabilities and such, culminated in 8th grade when he was laying on the ground and I jokingly tossed a bass drum mallet towards him and ended up nailing him in the balls. he threw it back but it hit the skinny blonde chick drummer and left a huge bruise on her leg. with her mom they wrote up some fake letter saying they were going to take him to court or something and I and several others signed it as "witnesses." the blonde blacked out the part on the bottom her mom added that said it wasn't a legal document and we had one of our "office assistant" friends deliver it to him in class. he stands up in class and screams "IM GETTING SUED" and runs to the office crying. we all got a talking to that was supposed to be followed up with something more serious but nothing came of it.

[Poptone]

My friends and I stole a truckload full of pumpkins from peoples' houses freshman year of college.

[moops]

I've probably told hipinion this story before but:

a series of incidents in band class with a fellow percussionist, barry, who only had one ball and clearly had learning disabilities and such, culminated in 8th grade when he was laying on the ground and I jokingly tossed a bass drum mallet towards him and ended up nailing him in the balls. he threw it back but it hit the skinny blonde chick drummer and left a huge bruise on her leg. with her mom they wrote up some fake letter saying they were going to take him to court or something and I and several others signed it as "witnesses." the blonde blacked out the part on the bottom her mom added that said it wasn't a legal document and we had one of our "office assistant" friends deliver it to him in class. he stands up in class and screams "IM GETTING SUED" and runs to the office crying. we all got a talking to that was supposed to be followed up with something more serious but nothing came of it.

I mean that's not really shady... that's just a really great joke. Could have worked on anyone at that age, regardless of learning disability.

[Weasel]

When I was a freshman, some guys called my friends faggots so this chick and I distracted them while my friends stole their keg off of their porch. We drank for free that Sunday.

In high school I would pay my friend that had cerebral palsy and was in a motorized wheelchair to run into this skanky cheerleader every day before lunch. I still find this hilarious.

I went through a very long phase in college during a nasty breakup where I would get into fights with random dudes. Like punching fights. None of them ended well and I am not proud of them.

[worrywort]

in terms of degree there are lots of people who do much worse things than klint does, certainly, but at the level at which he operates he is basically the lowest dude