Hi? Writing Crit Group (Prompt due 7/13)

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby matte » Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:08 pm

would like to participate
User avatar
matte
 
Posts: 692
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:08 pm
Location: air mattress 4

Postby ahungbunny » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:49 pm

same

i require deadlines, no matter how esoteric
User avatar
ahungbunny
 
Posts: 4713
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:39 pm

Postby grammatron » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:49 pm

Yeah definitely in on this.
User avatar
grammatron
 
Posts: 54496
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:01 pm
Location: C-17

Postby twoboys » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:38 pm

I’d like in
User avatar
twoboys
 
Posts: 858
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 12:10 am

Postby office plant » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:45 pm

hype, but with a space between each letter to make it hypier
User avatar
office plant
 
Posts: 7550
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:58 am

Postby Milk » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:45 pm

this seems like it would be perfect for this laguna beach story idea i've had for a while.
"I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands.."
User avatar
Milk
 
Posts: 9943
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 10:56 am
Location: Shut the fuck up Milk

Postby office plant » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:45 pm

i wish to participate in this exercise
User avatar
office plant
 
Posts: 7550
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:58 am

Postby blurst of times » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:48 pm

no way i'll be good at this, but this sounds fun and i'm down if that's ok!!
User avatar
blurst of times
ride.
 
Posts: 9168
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:06 pm

Postby southpaw » Fri Jun 15, 2018 12:22 am

Me want writey at this
User avatar
southpaw
 
Posts: 2676
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 9:34 pm
Location: Oregon

Postby Cronos » Fri Jun 15, 2018 12:37 am

Almost done with a novella about a detective in Laguna Beach I'd love to get some feedback on.
User avatar
Cronos
 
Posts: 23233
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:33 pm
Location: drowning

Postby chad » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:43 am

insane person w insomnia who wrote this in the past 30 minutes lol

‘Utopia’

The chair was serviceable. It was ergonomic and had a sturdy, tubular steel frame. It had solid weight and was upholstered in grey suede. It sat in the corner of the living room for quite some time, covered in old magazines and gathering dust.

It hadn’t always been this way for the chair. When Nancy and Ned first laid eyes upon it, aimlessly ambling through West Elm, they had both stopped; transfixed. Ned had remarked on its type — a Breuer chair! — He had always wanted one. And Nancy thought the price was right. It was barely scraped for a floor model. They took it home on the subway, apologizing through all seven stops to their apartment. “We just moved in,” they explained to their fellow passengers.

It had been the first chair in their new apartment. They were careful to wipe it down if so much as a crumb spilled on it. Ned was fond of using it as a desk chair, tinkering away at his computer on various projects after work. Nancy liked to move it to their bedroom and read while gazing out the window into the neighboring park, usually with a glass of water or wine in hand.

That was when the trouble started. First it was small things — drops of water from the glass. It all went downhill after the wine spills. At first, Ned admonished Nancy for not taking better care of it. But soon they accumulated other things in their new apartment, and the chair was no longer a priority. The new objects were nicer things too — a magnificently large fiddle-leaf fig from a nearby nursery, ceramic vases in muted pastels from boutique stores, and a saffron chaise lounge from an upscale design store. “It’s a splurge,” Ned said proudly, as they surveyed its new, prominent position in the living room. “But it was worth it.”

“So worth it,” Nancy agreed.

Over time, the chair became increasingly neglected, and shuffled from room to room. “Where do we put this?” Ned asked, somewhat exasperated, as they continued to fill up their apartment with new belongings. Nancy just shrugged.

That winter, Nancy got a big promotion. They were both thrilled, and kissed fervently in the kitchen. Ned had her pressed against the counter while she was still in her wool coat. Impatiently and clumsily, they removed layers of clothing. They were stumbling toward the living room when Ned cried — “Not the chaise!” Their eyes settled on the chair.

Under their combined weights, the chair creaked and groaned. After a few minutes, Nancy let out a satisfied moan, and they retired to bed. The chair remained unused for days after.

The following week, there was a ring at the doorbell. It was a large package that Nancy signed for. It was a Herman Miller Setu chair, in the color Alpine. They marveled at it together, sighing contentedly. “Gorgeous,” Nancy said. “Just perfect.”

“What should we do with the other chair?” Ned asked.

The chair was placed on the curb that same day, where it waited for hours. Occasionally someone would stop to look at it, and even sit on it, testing its weight before moving on. Children left junk food wrappers on it before running away, chasing after their parents.

In the late afternoon, a young couple walking hand-in-hand stopped as they approached it. The young woman brushed off the junk food wrappers as the young man squatted to get a better look at it, examining its flaws.

“It has potential,” she said finally.

He agreed, and they carried it home.
add me on habbo: ChadBraddington
User avatar
chad
 
Posts: 2752
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:57 am

Postby joe » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:32 am

post here to consider doing this
dễ dàng wrote:CHẾT TIỆT
User avatar
joe
 
Posts: 14825
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:14 pm
Location: snake kingdom

Postby sleepy_boy » Fri Jun 15, 2018 4:14 am

This boy wants in
User avatar
sleepy_boy
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:32 pm

Postby chad » Sun Jun 17, 2018 3:40 pm

I can move to members closer to deadline but want to keep it up in general for latecomers :B
add me on habbo: ChadBraddington
User avatar
chad
 
Posts: 2752
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:57 am

Postby animefilm » Sun Jun 17, 2018 3:45 pm

noice
User avatar
animefilm
 
Posts: 333
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 8:03 pm

Postby Seamus » Sun Jun 17, 2018 3:53 pm

are there gonna be regular prompts? cause i got nothing for utopia

i'll still crit some though
Raise. Hell. All. Summer. Long.

Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Seamus
 
Posts: 9128
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:49 pm

Postby chad » Sun Jun 17, 2018 6:33 pm

Yeah someone could suggest a new prompt for following month or we could do a different exercise like pair-writing etc

Just want to help move this forward so that I can eventually find someone to be my h y p e person/rly kind feedback early reader hehehe
add me on habbo: ChadBraddington
User avatar
chad
 
Posts: 2752
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:57 am

Postby blab » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:06 pm

Got a whiteboard out right now and am developing some ideas. Got an outline going and some character notes popping off. I've been motivated to develop an ability to plan creatively, to find a happy medium between strict/loose planning. It seems like a skill you have to work on to feel confident about.

Feeling chill and looking forward to write some sentences tonight

For critiques, I guess I would want to save the stories as Word documents to add track changes to. Is there a good way to PM those?
User avatar
blab
 
Posts: 1726
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:09 pm
Location: a family pond

Postby chad » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:56 pm

Yeah I think people can either copy/paste in here directly or if they want explicit feedback I can make a github + people can PM their usernames for access
add me on habbo: ChadBraddington
User avatar
chad
 
Posts: 2752
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:57 am

Postby Casimir » Tue Jun 19, 2018 6:48 pm

In for this as well. Re: the crit portion of this it seems like a google doc is best if we want to let people add their comments to different submissions in a more coherent way.
User avatar
Casimir
 
Posts: 1020
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:06 pm

Previous

Return to Don't. Let. Go. You’ve got the music in you.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Alexis, boatwave, Celiac Cruz, DasLofGang, dogfight giggle, fury, GonzO))), Google [Bot], inafoxhole, jalapeño ranch, Jouster, joymonger, Kevin McCallister, landspeedrecord, Mr. Science, neta, Robert, robespierre, scrambled, soakingkhan, That Demon Life, trouble, videodrome, wario lopez