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Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:12 am
by murray st.
sleigh wrote:
Your Turret Has Been Destroyed wrote:give it to that pussayyss, turn the shit up a notch


lol camping and i definitely said this like 8 times tonight


cannot get this out of my head

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:12 am
by murray st.
(james lipton voice) give it to that pussy-ass, turn the shit up a notch

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 12:40 pm
by murray st.

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 12:41 pm
by murray st.
In Park Slope, populated by Cool Dads pushing luxury strollers, you’re probably going to get a gel manicure; in Crown Heights, whose community is largely Afro-Caribbean, you’re more likely to find acrylics. Realizing that her in-progress manicure is the former, Bregoli jumps up, her irritation finally bubbling over. “These are just gonna break!” she yelps over her shoulder to Ariana. “I need acrylics! We need to go somewhere more hood!”

The only other patron in the salon, aside from the six of us, is an older West Indian woman whose feet are submerged in a pedicure bath. At the drop of the word “hood,” the room’s energy shifts. “It’s 2018!” the woman shouts disgustedly at Bregoli, who immediately seems to retreat inside herself, falling silent. “You want ‘more hood’? Oh, I’ll show you more hood!”

Ariana seems to grow a foot taller in the moment. “No, I’ll show you more hood!” she warns. “You are yelling at a child right now!” The salon workers look on in horror. Everyone is shouting except Bregoli. I’m pretending to be invisible, wet nails captive under the air dryer, midway through what is easily the most stressful shoulder massage of my life. “Um, it’s okay, you don’t have to...” I whisper, planning my escape as Frank barks, “I’ll beat your son’s ass!”

The rest of us duck outside as Ariana throws down her credit card. Immediately, Bregoli proceeds to violently rip off her raw plastic tips. Her nail beds begin to bleed profusely. “That’s why you don’t eat olives for breakfast,” she deadpans, blood dripping onto the sidewalk. It’s not even noon.

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 1:16 pm
by Brouhaha
the gg allin of today

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 1:19 pm
by bongo
hell yeah

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 1:19 pm
by bongo
how sick is being a shitty asshole

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 2:47 pm
by pissydan
why dont you eat olives for breakfast?

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 4:36 pm
by death is my amigo
man i did very loud irl "WHAT" at the olives punchline, i feel insane right now

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 5:09 pm
by Brouhaha
olives joke is next level shit, spend some good time thinking about it and the payoff will be worth it

also get bingo outta here with that negativity

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 5:30 pm
by joe
object wrote:please explain the olives


i am rich wrote:how is bhabie formed

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 8:27 pm
by came to wreck
cant wait to use that olives joke now

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 9:08 pm
by wuk
I do not understand the olive thing either

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:21 pm
by Dead_Wizard
she ate olives for breakfast, that's key to this joke

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:24 pm
by Brouhaha
i was kidding about it being a complicated joke

think she just meant that had she eaten a proper full meal instead of just some olives, she probably wouldn't have done something irrational like tear off her nails

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:37 pm
by internetfriend
it was an “all lives matter” joke. don’t shoot the messenger

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:47 pm
by bongo
i like meaghan garvey and enjoyed that piece but th notion that bhad bhabie “isn’t going anywhere” is hilarious

if her career is longer than mc skat kats i’ll eat my bucket hat

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:55 pm
by Brouhaha
y'all were searching too hard for meaning in the olives, getting that bhad mindfuck

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:56 pm
by bongo
imagine a skat kat/bhabie livestream event

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:57 pm
by Brouhaha
one is animated and the other hasn't done music in over 20 years

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 3:03 am
by Jefferson Zeppelin
saying this in different voices is so fun

Image

give it to that pussayyss, turn the shit up a notch

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 6:27 am
by bongo
who was it who always said kick rocks? apeshit?

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 7:18 am
by OLD SAINT RIXX
Brouhaha wrote:i was kidding about it being a complicated joke

think she just meant that had she eaten a proper full meal instead of just some olives, she probably wouldn't have done something irrational like tear off her nails

i thought it meant she like, went to a brunch and had a martini or bloody mary or some drink containing olives, which caused her outburst and why the narrator emphasizes it's not even noon yet

i dunno it's probably just your answer

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 7:23 am
by bongo
shes 11 years old you sick fucking fuck!!

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 8:16 am
by Brouhaha
As far as close friends, Bregoli has only ever had one, but they don’t talk anymore. Among her small handful of tattoos, the name “Zandalee” is scrawled across her left ring finger. “She was a prostitute; I met her at the school,” she tells me. “That girl would do anything for money. When I became famous, she partnered with my dad, because my dad said that if they ruin my fame, he’ll give her money. You know how they say shit goes sour after you tattoo someone’s name? This happened within like 24 hours of the tattoo


reality show is gonna be lit

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 11:11 am
by john plainman
bongo wrote:i like meaghan garvey and enjoyed that piece but th notion that bhad bhabie “isn’t going anywhere” is hilarious

if her career is longer than mc skat kats i’ll eat my bucket hat


gonna remember this

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 11:14 am
by bongo

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 11:18 am
by john plainman
bongo wrote:


if she doesnt release an actually good LP, ill eat my mortons salt snapback

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 11:19 am
by bongo
we need to clearly articulate the stakes here

Re: Bhad Bhabie's bangerz brings Billboard bucks

PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2018 11:25 am
by bongo
mc skat kat had a 2 year shelf life, initially featured in paula abduls "opposites attract" video in 1990 and then, somehow, releasing a solo album on virgin records in 1991

bhad bhabie's first single "these heaux" was released in late august 2017.

so if by late august 2019 people are still talking about bhad bhabie- ie she is still getting press in publications like ssense, the fader, noisey, etc related to her musical output (not if she, say, keys offsets white phantom live on stream or whatever)- i will eat my kapital old man and the sea bucket hat and pierrot will eat his mortons salt snapback.

the loser will film themself doing this in the style of "werner herzog eats his shoe"