Ideal gf/bf thread

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Autarch » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:23 pm

back in my old 4chan days I dipped my toes in the water of /r9k/.
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Postby furrowed brow » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:32 pm

Do they have these for the Mane Six?
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Postby furrowed brow » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:33 pm

or Seven now, i guess
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Postby joe » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:38 pm

it shocks me sometimes how many large corners of the internet i have avoided and that now speak a language that's foreign to me given that at 18 i was posting on hipinion and pretty active on lj/lj groups

edit: by which i mean, like i wouldn't understand the pictures in this thread without context
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Postby Autarch » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:41 pm

>Their gender

feman

>Their age

Stone Age

>Their height

several feet tall

>Their body type

celestial

>Their personality

respectful, doesn't talk back

>Their interests

LIBOR, EURIBOR, Fixed rates, Fed Funds Rate

>Describe a perfect day with them

sun's up, it's a little after 12
make breakfast for myself
leave the work for someone else
people say, they say that it's just a phase
they tell me to act my age
well I am
on this perfect day
nothing's standing in my way
on this perfect day
where nothing can go wrong
it's the perfect day

>Talk a bit about yourself

It's me, Autarch. I'm the same old Autarch you all know and love.

>Contact information

hello, information? hi, it's me autarch! Yeah, long time no see! How's it been?
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Postby furrowed brow » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:47 pm

goofy's dead wife wrote:yeah but mostly in human form it appears



i was talking to dragons about rugrats earlier and ir emembered im a couple of seasons behind on this show maybe it's time to catch up


Those aren't very creative, but I guess their personalities are already so well-defined that you don't have a whole lot of room for originality.

But yeah, I started the show a couple weeks ago, I really like it. I'm on season 4 right now
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Postby pantsoclock » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:58 pm

pantsoclock wrote:my ideal gf/bf thread is like, uh, talk about ways you respect your partner

Image
I pay tax to help pay for things like police..fire..parks..but it goes to Ferguson like people and foreigners who are scamming our stupid government that is full of pasta thieves like this guy
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Postby Autarch » Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:08 am

thank you for thanking me, goofy's dead wife. Your gratefulness does not go unappreciated either.
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Postby pantsoclock » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:06 am

Thanks, a lot of that stuff is just from my current relationship, and it accurately captures how being in a relationship with me includes a lot of wondering why I declared the couch a demilitarized zone because you suggested a different bus route or pronounced "lactose" weird.
I pay tax to help pay for things like police..fire..parks..but it goes to Ferguson like people and foreigners who are scamming our stupid government that is full of pasta thieves like this guy
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Postby Johan POOPLER » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:47 am

Their gender: a hot chick

Their age: hot chick ages....

Their height: don't care

Their body type: nice big ass don't care bout the rest. i like the weird haircuts and hair colors too, and the clothes that some chicks enjoy to wear...

Their personality: bookish & absurdist but not smart enough to own me, but chill enough to deal with me owning them constantly. a boarder chick would be nice but i'd settle for a weird facebook or leftbook hoe

Their interests: getting owned constantly by me, describing books to me so i could pretend i read them, being really good at describing the books so if people ask me questions about them i won't get caught for not reading (i just don't like it), probably more interests than that but we'll negotiate your personality upon meeting......strong & independent too

Describe a perfect day with them: they tolerate my mental illness, then we go to the pima air & space museum and somewhere expensive to eat and they pay for it and put some money in my account. i get a little bit fatter that day, as i do on most days, but they tell me about being body positive and then have sex with me to spite the beauty standards that i subscribe to (both for myself and for them). we rewatch the punisher on netflix and i tell her which torture scenes are my favs (all of them rip equally hard imo). maybe weird sex too, with the strapon or one of us really fuckin hurting the other. after that we fall asleep spooning but after they're asleep i extricate myself and creep to one side of the bed because touching someone for too long makes me sweat and then i worry about how i'll have to change the sheets 2 weeks ahead of my normal schedule (which is never).

Talk a bit about yourself: i'm mentally ill and a bad person with substance abuse problems but i have a teacher job which can fool some people for awhile to think i'm altruist (i'm not and i can't be because im an ATHEIST). it's shit pay which makes it seem like i do it for the love of helping but i really just can't get other jobs. some people say i should be a writer but i don't remember how to navigate that profession anymore. i hate outside and won't go there under most circumstances except to buy restroom tissue or totinos. definitely won't hike or exercise. i'll talk more about my meds on our first and second dates, but not after that because there won't be any more dates.

Contact information: if you're considering this you should just let a confused indian man from facebook have you. they treat you good and love to "eat your bussy"..... but here's the first 8 digits of my real phone number: 928-300-45. guess the other ones and text me. i won't let you know i'm romantically interested in until you tell me flat out that you want to have sex.
das ding wrote:
so what did he have to say about manly attraction to sheep?

i dunno. it's a very sad aspect of our nature, but also one of the foundations of love

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Postby trellisaze » Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:50 am

haha this fucking idiot lives in arizona
bongo wrote:hell pounds
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Postby trellisaze » Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:41 pm

trellisaze wrote:haha this fucking idiot lives in arizona

same
bongo wrote:hell pounds
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Postby nite69 » Sun Dec 17, 2017 3:51 pm

Image
sealed their fate wrote:The handwriting is already on the wall. These boys have been flushed.
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Sun Dec 17, 2017 4:03 pm

i love u hpn user nites69 for who u are
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby Jsn » Sun Dec 17, 2017 4:31 pm

>Their gender
Female

>Their age
29

>Their height
Under 5’5

>Their body type
Pear

>Their personality
Does not have cte

>Their interests
Crafty

>Describe a perfect day with them
Laughing and relaxing

>Talk a bit about yourself
Pivot Tables, index/matches, and vlookups

>Contact information
No butt stuff
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Postby bear » Sun Dec 17, 2017 5:32 pm

*texts 100 Arizona numbers*
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Postby Plainsong » Mon Dec 18, 2017 5:19 am

>Their Gender
Girl

>Their Age
21

>Their Height
Any

>Their Body Type
Any type, Like brunettes or any other hair colours (pink, green, blue etc.)

>Their Personality
Someone who is kind and understanding. As anxious as me so we could help each other out.

>Their Interests
Music, Movies and Books or anything apart from that they take an interest in.

>Describe a perfect day with them
Listening to The Cure and cuddling/making out. Telling each other all of our worries without the fear of being judged.

>Talk a bit about yourself
I tend to get depressed and am in a constant state of fear and anxiety, which in turn makes me feel unworthy of love and that I'm a terrible person, even though I try the best that I can to break out of it. I'm still a student and am studying to become a librarian and before this I was studying music performance.

>Contact Information
Hipinion username.
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Postby Denise » Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:17 am

great memes
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Postby Autarch » Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:54 am

The amount of fucking, idk, narcissism? Sexism? Stupidity? That goes into making one of these memes is just staggering. Imagine wanting to date a movie character. Imaginr falling in love with, like, Natalie Portman's character from garden State and thinking "I want to date someone like that" and then you're always on the lookout for Natalie Portman characters IRL. Sad!
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Postby bear » Mon Jan 08, 2018 3:28 pm

i have to stop looking at the board at work oh my god
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Postby joe » Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:20 pm

delgriffith wrote:
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Postby The Fool on the Hill » Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:39 pm

love the poopler toop. That part about the sheets got me good.
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Postby Autarch » Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:15 pm

joe wrote:
delgriffith wrote:


holy shit that is good
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:23 am

Image
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:29 am

i like how i made this thread now as i was real excited to post about my ideal gf/bf
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:30 am

my bf and i are drinking knock off passionfruit flavoured wine listening to dj s3rl. he just dyed his hair grey so looks like an anime villain. he prob is my ideal gf/bf tbh!!!
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:32 am

soft nerdy gf one is about a third of vegan girls ever
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:35 am

lmao at the 'idealgfmemefangf' featuring a lot of lil peep references .___.
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:36 am

im gonna get into streaming vrchat as a rude titty goth meme girl and be an ideal gf and somehow get dollars
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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Postby sailormoonvillain666@aol.com » Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:36 am

u didnt think
?????
profit

would die but here we are in a post ???? profit world
remember to please don't feed the trolls ;)
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