SHIT FLIXE CLASSIX: every Tuesday @ 2200 Eastern

Humans in space suits make monkeys nervous

Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 23, 2020 9:00 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight's Feature Presentation:
Tiptoes

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Ampersand
 
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 23, 2020 10:41 pm

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[22:14] <@Ampersand> 3
[22:14] <@Ampersand> 2
[22:14] <@Ampersand> 1
[22:14] <shrimpdentist> what an ominous start
[22:14] <dan2> who hasn't seen this before?
[22:14] <kayke> I haven't
[22:15] <besoin> a maxwell bright film
[22:15] <Bob511> I have not.
[22:15] <dan2> writer of Shunken Heads by  the way
[22:15] <@Ampersand> A Maxwell Bright Film
[22:15] <besoin> i haven't
[22:15] <shrimpdentist> bad enough that gary oldman pretends to be a little person, but they didn't have to get billy crystal as the jazzman to do the theme music
[22:15] <Trebtoes> It is a journey
[22:15] <dan2> well...get ready is all I'll say
[22:15] <besoin> too slow, amp
[22:15] <kayke> and I also only slept for 3 hours last night. I feel unprepared
[22:15] <dan2> yep
[22:15] <dan2> right away
[22:16] <Bob511> I keep thinking about how there's a two and a half hour cut of this out there, and getting preemptively exhausted.
[22:16] <shrimpdentist> do you think when matt wandered into a conversation with richard linklater ten years before this he imagined he'd be here
[22:16] <lhs> can anyone understand what they're saying
[22:17] <besoin> this is not how you light movie stars
[22:17] <kayke> not a word
[22:17] <dan2> The film debuted in a 150 minute director's cut at Harry Knowles' Butt-Numb-A-Thon film festival.[2][3]
[22:17] <lhs> love this boobgina wallpaper painting though
[22:17] <shrimpdentist> bridget powerz
[22:18] <shrimpdentist> god damn
[22:18] <besoin> how did this come about for god's sake
[22:18] <Bob511> COPS
[22:18] <Trebtoes> mumble mumble
[22:18] <dan2> Matthew Bright conceived the film when he was 18, as “a raucous comedy about little people f***ing each other”.[1] 30 years after writing the screenplay, Bright's stepfather gave a copy of the script to Cops creator John Langley, who was interested in producing Tiptoes.[1]
[22:18] <shrimpdentist> i knew cops were involved somehow
[22:19] <Bob511> Stealing all Peter Jackson's perspective tricks.
[22:19] <@Ampersand> dan that is absolutely bonkers info
[22:19] <Trebtoes> Fucked perspective
[22:20] == autarch [webchat@3wwm.u67h.ytk2.ip] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:20] <autarch> time??
[22:20] <dan2> 5:50
[22:20] <lhs> sometimes my toes bend back
[22:20] <dan2> 6:00
[22:20] <besoin> yehguanoccm wehttam
[22:20] <@Ampersand> FYI, there is a HD version of this, but it felt like a waste of my poor ratio
[22:20] <dan2> hurry you're missing David Alan Grier
[22:20] <autarch> ok, gimmee 6:30
[22:20] <autarch> gimme 6:30
[22:20] <Bob511> You need more upload credit, Amp?
[22:21] <@Ampersand> always
[22:21] <dan2> Mini Mimi!
[22:21] <dan2> 6:30
[22:21] == kayke [webchat@cloak-1der3hh7.dyn.optonline.net] has quit [Ping timeout]
[22:21] <autarch> thx
[22:21] <dan2> I loved when she would give Drew Carey the business
[22:21] <@Ampersand> would you believe it, none of the torrents i download ever have leechers
[22:21] <Trebtoes> ah dan
[22:21] <autarch> what have i missed
[22:22] <@Ampersand> small gary
[22:22] == kayke [webchat@cloak-1der3hh7.dyn.optonline.net] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:22] <besoin> i honestly thought this was gary oldman earlier
[22:22] <besoin> or...
[22:22] <besoin> my brain
[22:22] <dan2> I've got a real mind blower for ya
[22:22] <shrimpdentist> lol
[22:22] <dan2> these two are supposed to be twins
[22:23] <Bob511> Oh my god, the visual effect
[22:23] <shrimpdentist> mom'll shit
[22:23] <Trebtoes> "Effect"
[22:23] <lhs> there'll be a credit for gary's kneepad wrangler
[22:23] <@Ampersand> lol
[22:24] <besoin> this is real strange
[22:24] == oh_its_max [webchat@cloak-eqwtlgmn.rochester.res.rr.com] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:24] <dan2> McConaugHEY
[22:24] <oh_its_max> time please :)
[22:24] <shrimpdentist> 1000
[22:24] <Bob511> Baker's dill
[22:25] <dan2> remembering Baker Dill one year later it all feels like a beautiful dream
[22:25] <shrimpdentist> good god the dialogue volume
[22:25] <oh_its_max> it's like he's whispering in MY ear
[22:25] <Trebtoes> ASMcR
[22:25] <lhs> gary oldman's perspective is a flat circle
[22:27] <besoin> oh, she doesn't know he has little people genes?
[22:27] <kayke> is she wearing a bathing suit to bed?
[22:27] <Trebtoes> Deadbeat Dad Theme
[22:27] <@Ampersand> bedding suit
[22:28] <lhs> i need sparknotes for this
[22:29] <besoin> come closer, man on knees
[22:29] <Trebtoes> Did somebody else do the ADR for Gary
[22:30] <besoin> is dinklage doing one of val kilmer's accents from the saint?
[22:30] <oh_its_max> oui
[22:30] <lhs> i can't hear him over his children's JNCOs
[22:30] <Trebtoes> Does he have codine
[22:30] <dan2> Dinklage is doing Pepe Le Pew, Oldman is doing Droopy Dog
[22:30] <@Ampersand> the drunk whisperer
[22:30] <Bob511> "Tang"
[22:30] <shrimpdentist> jesus
[22:31] <Trebtoes> Tiptizzip
[22:32] <Trebtoes> ahah this shot
[22:32] <shrimpdentist> how long has this scene been going on
[22:32] <shrimpdentist> 10 minutes?
[22:32] <oh_its_max> much longer
[22:32] <lhs> 4 hours i think
[22:32] <@Ampersand> REEEEEAL
[22:32] <oh_its_max> what a needle drop
[22:32] <@Ampersand> NEXT REEEEEEEEL
[22:32] <dan2> awww yeah
[22:32] <shrimpdentist> oh my god
[22:32] <Trebtoes> yeaaaaaaaaaa
[22:32] <autarch> music
[22:33] <@Ampersand> ITSY BITSY SPIDAH
[22:33] <besoin> oldman looks like he wandered off the set of a berkeley breathed biopic
[22:33] <dan2> lol
[22:34] <lhs> who the hell wrote the wiki summary for this
[22:34] <lhs> "Carol (Beckinsale)—a talented painter and independent woman—falls in love with Steven (McConaughey) without knowing much about him other than he is the perfect man."
[22:34] <@Ampersand> that hard jean line
[22:35] <Trebtoes> ...
[22:35] <oh_its_max> lol
[22:35] <kayke> she's too good for him
[22:36] <autarch> eww
[22:36] <oh_its_max> complicated life
[22:36] <@Ampersand> old man, high butt
[22:36] <Trebtoes> Tony Hale on a break from shooting AD
[22:36] <shrimpdentist> i initially thought tony hale too
[22:37] <besoin> this guy's going gary's dracula accent
[22:37] <besoin> *doing
[22:37] <autarch> you can't just tell a man he's a hunk and then do him likee that
[22:37] <Bob511> Bad boys, bad boys...
[22:37] <lhs> he was in like an episode of true blood
[22:37] <Trebtoes> hollow boombox
[22:37] <besoin> uhhhh
[22:38] <lhs> my coffee is pregnant
[22:38] <Trebtoes> just leave it over the java
[22:38] <@Ampersand> lol
[22:38] <dan2> If it turns blue, it's decaf
[22:38] <kayke> touch something you peed on, touch your mouth
[22:38] <besoin> oh is this what he does
[22:39] <shrimpdentist> "do you even work here??"
[22:39] <@Ampersand> four strap suspenders are hot
[22:39] <dan2> training to put out spinkler systems that catch fire
[22:39] <oh_its_max> this vehicle is so wacky
[22:39] <kayke> oh when he said he had a class I thought he was in college or something
[22:39] <@Ampersand> those pants are staying UP
[22:39] <shrimpdentist> uh oh
[22:39] <dan2> again, McConaughey and Oldman are supposed to be the same age
[22:39] <besoin> i can't believe oldman is doing the dorf routine
[22:39] <Trebtoes> Fuck it we're putting a strap in sideways
[22:39] <Bob511> "I'm Gandalf."
[22:40] <Trebtoes> ha
[22:40] <besoin> carol only dresses herself from the deeply discounted bin at old navy
[22:40] <@Ampersand> lowest rise jammies
[22:40] <lhs> well she is like 7 feet tall
[22:41] <shrimpdentist> who called iy
[22:41] <shrimpdentist> it
[22:41] <Bob511> "I was born first."
[22:41] <besoin> the brothers on little people big world were twins, right? and one was little and one was average.
[22:41] <shrimpdentist> gary oldman is 11 years older than matthew mcconaughey
[22:41] <Bob511> Very long labor.
[22:41] <besoin> heh
[22:41] <lhs> iirc yes, besoin
[22:42] <autarch> wait
[22:42] <@Ampersand> they killed a couch for this scene
[22:42] <autarch> is he ralph or rolf?
[22:42] <oh_its_max> yes
[22:42] <@Ampersand> Rolf
[22:42] <autarch> lol
[22:42] <besoin> "could you please not bury your legs in my couch?"
[22:42] <lhs> heh
[22:42] <kayke> mood
[22:42] <shrimpdentist> what the
[22:42] <Bob511> Somebody went crazy with her rock polisher.
[22:42] <besoin> joke then, expensive procedure today
[22:43] <kayke> like dith?
[22:43] <lhs> she's wearing her sexy son-in-law costume
[22:43] <dan2> wow, he got his rocks off twice tonight
[22:43] <@Ampersand> lol
[22:43] <shrimpdentist> ha
[22:43] <besoin> can we just watch a movie about the maid
[22:43] <shrimpdentist> wait how is the hotel manager also french
[22:43] <Trebtoes> ahahah
[22:44] <shrimpdentist> the music
[22:44] <dan2> did she say wail on another dolphin?
[22:44] <besoin> maybe just check out
[22:44] <autarch> what is it with this movie eastern eeuropean dudes wanting to get into the rooom?
[22:44] <besoin> this is some prime gta v territory
[22:44] <shrimpdentist> oh no not a situation
[22:44] <Bob511> The hat
[22:44] <Bob511> The Hat
[22:44] <kayke> omg
[22:45] <autarch> oof
[22:45] <oh_its_max> hard m there
[22:45] <besoin> manic pixie smeegirl
[22:45] <dan2> Don't Wake Mommy
[22:45] <Bob511> Heh
[22:45] <shrimpdentist> it's a sleeping cap, to go with her pjs
[22:45] <autarch> tthe hat is insane
[22:45] <Bob511> ....where are the other two tassles coming from?
[22:45] <dan2> a truly great year for hats in the movie series
[22:45] <autarch> she's wearing a Don't Wake Daddy
[22:45] <lhs> matching earrings
[22:45] <@Ampersand> longing for a pink fedora
[22:45] <besoin> pink fedora is movie night's everest
[22:46] <kayke> weird choice to wear this hat for this conversation
[22:46] <kayke> is it a power play?
[22:46] <dan2> "Don't you like my Wee Willie Winkie cosplay?"
[22:47] <besoin> not a great start
[22:47] <@Ampersand> "say little stinkers instead"
[22:47] <Bob511> "You get on your knees and kind of shuffle."
[22:47] <oh_its_max> coulda shoulda woulda
[22:47] <shrimpdentist> that tattoo
[22:47] <besoin> what is that tattoo? looks like audrey from twin peaks.
[22:47] <oh_its_max> is that tat the utz girl
[22:47] <shrimpdentist> haha
[22:47] <kayke> lmao
[22:47] <oh_its_max> that would be a sick tat tbh
[22:47] <dan2> lol max
[22:47] <@Ampersand> he looks like he sells TVs
[22:48] <shrimpdentist> are they at stone mountain
[22:48] <besoin> she's basically her character from true romance
[22:48] <autarch> is she wearing a bo derek?
[22:48] <@Ampersand> i'd forgotten they were in this so much
[22:49] <besoin> "no, opus is a penguin, and bill's a cat"
[22:49] <dan2> "I AM THE DANGER, SKYLAR"
[22:49] <autarch> im a picker im a grinner
[22:49] <autarch> im lover and im a sinner
[22:50] <Bob511> One situation where the shoulder hump seems convenient.
[22:50] <kayke> all that yelling is going to upset her wicker basket collection
[22:50] <Trebtoes> Kate B's character is like if Hot Topic became sentient instead of SkyNet
[22:50] <shrimpdentist> ahhhhh
[22:50] <shrimpdentist> he's in the couch
[22:50] <besoin> she needs to keep her hair out of the ketchup when eating fries
[22:50] <oh_its_max> its so weird
[22:50] <shrimpdentist> simply love to sit with my legs perfectly still
[22:50] <@Ampersand> tfw when your legs are numb and nonfunctioning
[22:50] <Trebtoes> Dead legs
[22:51] <dan2> puppet legs
[22:51] <Bob511> Waiting for him to break out into Rainbow Connection
[22:51] <besoin> this is sub-lifetime cinematography
[22:52] <Bob511> Wait, does she have two lucky hats?
[22:52] <Trebtoes> Annie Hall for the Gulf War II generation
[22:52] <dan2> she borrowed that hat from George R.R. Martin
[22:52] <dan2> Mickey!
[22:53] <besoin> is this guy a pastor
[22:53] <dan2> all my sitcom faves, together in one movie
[22:53] <Bob511> Dad dick-jokes.
[22:54] <shrimpdentist> what exactly is rolf's job
[22:54] <oh_its_max> what is this shot
[22:54] <shrimpdentist> "nope, mind totally blank"
[22:54] <besoin> the blonde lady little person was in total recall
[22:55] <Trebtoes> Was she not available for this shot
[22:55] <oh_its_max> hahah
[22:55] <oh_its_max> i did not consider that
[22:55] <kayke> it's zoomed in to emphasize that she's big
[22:55] <besoin> i think the cinematographer gave up early on
[22:55] <shrimpdentist> what a track
[22:56] <Bob511> Is this the house from The Nice Guys?
[22:56] <Trebtoes> Lol tabla sample
[22:56] <besoin> i don't think so, bob
[22:56] <lhs> does that pile of laundry on patricia's head count as a hat
[22:57] <besoin> jesus darlene
[22:57] <Trebtoes> Did they explain why they're rich
[22:57] <kayke> she looks like she's a character from a phone game
[22:57] <oh_its_max> hahah
[22:57] <dan2> or she just stepped out of The Urbz and into real life
[22:58] <@Ampersand> i'd love to get a drink with my favorite dress
[22:58] <Bob511> Not The Nice Guys, but some movie/show, I swear.
[22:58] <dan2> was this ever on Party Down?
[22:58] <Trebtoes> oh no
[22:58] <@Ampersand> lol dan
[22:58] <Bob511> Yeah, that was my second guess.
[22:59] <Bob511> The Dave Gruber Allen episode?
[22:59] <besoin> the nice guys house is in atlanta, it turns out
[22:59] <shrimpdentist> these angles
[22:59] <autarch> back to back world war champs, baby
[23:00] <kayke> he eez notheeeng
[23:00] <oh_its_max> omg
[23:00] <besoin> i am a mahksist
[23:00] <dan2> "You embarass me again and I'll put my foot so far up your ass you'll think it's a couch!"
[23:00] <Trebtoes> Oh my god the mullet on the out of focus extra
[23:00] <besoin> heh, dan
[23:00] <Trebtoes> dan
[23:00] <lhs> haha dan
[23:00] <kayke> lol dan
[23:00] <oh_its_max> lmao dan wow
[23:00] <shrimpdentist> this seems like a totally unnecessary side plot
[23:00] <oh_its_max> the film? yes
[23:00] <shrimpdentist> did she just question whether she went to high school?
[23:00] <besoin> yeah, what
[23:01] <lhs> legit question though
[23:02] <kayke> "I'm gonna fight salad"
[23:03] <dan2> DAG you DOG
[23:03] <dan2> I might have made that joke last time around
[23:03] <besoin> david alan grier is doing a great job
[23:03] <autarch> who's jerry robin jr?
[23:03] <autarch> JR jr
[23:03] <shrimpdentist> they were fucking in a room with floor length windows on every wall
[23:03] <oh_its_max> haha
[23:04] <shrimpdentist> wtf she has normal pajamas?
[23:04] <@Ampersand> the least believable thing so far
[23:06] <kayke> roff?
[23:07] <kayke> he's not saying an l
[23:07] <dan2> oh boy
[23:07] <Trebtoes> Just think how much longer this scene goes on in the 2.5 hour cut?
[23:07] <oh_its_max> this is a deeply strange film
[23:07] <kayke> this movie is bad
[23:07] <dan2> the David Allen Grier sex scene is 48 minutes long in the uncut version
[23:07] <besoin> anyhow my name's rowlf the dog i come for the holidays
[23:07] <lhs> half of the dialog just sounds like tuh tuh tuh tuh mumumumuh to me
[23:08] <dan2> lol besoin
[23:08] <kayke> lol besoin
[23:09] <Trebtoes> Also didn't tell her he was a Scientologist
[23:09] <besoin> "Gary Oldman often made his famous moose soup for the cast and crew and insisted everyone eat it instead of the provided catering. He claimed it awoke the "machines within" needed for his once in a life time performance."
[23:09] <dan2> wow
[23:09] <lhs> the machines within, aka his knees
[23:10] <kayke> dad's vest
[23:10] <shrimpdentist> what on earth
[23:10] <besoin> "Gary Oldman said he was inspired for this role by his favorite musicians Garth Brooks"
[23:10] <kayke> he looks like a priest if ll bean was a religion
[23:10] <oh_its_max> bartender rowlf
[23:10] <lhs> was this in party down
[23:10] <dan2> my computer lagged out googling "Gary Oldman Moose Soup" can I get a timecheck
[23:11] <besoin> this can't be real can it:
[23:11] <besoin> "This film has been held in high regard for it's soundtrack, including the original song "Good Morning Julia" by Jean McCeilingfan."
[23:12] <oh_its_max> no one holds this film in a regard
[23:12] <Bob511> Yeah, the trivia page is gags.
[23:12] <lhs> 57:30
[23:12] <besoin> okay, people are just having fun with the trivia section for this movie:
[23:12] <besoin> "Garth Brooks was originally tapped as the lead in Tiptoes until several bodies were found buried on his property. When questioned about the incident, Mr. Brooks simply replied "I like that.""
[23:12] <dan2> thank you
[23:12] <lhs> i like that too
[23:12] <oh_its_max> what the fuck
[23:12] <besoin> when the thunder rowlf
[23:12] <kayke> are these words
[23:12] <shrimpdentist> astounding
[23:12] <kayke> I'm having a stroke
[23:12] <oh_its_max> a fart song
[23:13] <autarch> i loved that
[23:13] <shrimpdentist> that is a generous pour matt
[23:13] <besoin> i still can't tell if the moose soup trivia is fake
[23:13] <dan2> I like my fart jokes told as intensely and angrily as possible
[23:14] <shrimpdentist> "the thing is: you are all short"
[23:14] <kayke> imagine if she came from a family of giants and they were really rolling the dice on the baby size
[23:14] <autarch> wait, these jews scan evangelical
[23:15] <oh_its_max> he brought sally
[23:15] <kayke> matching hair
[23:15] <shrimpdentist> oh man
[23:15] <dan2> I feel like you could get hit in the head with a frisbee at any time in this wedding
[23:15] <oh_its_max> this hair oh god
[23:15] <shrimpdentist> i feel like i already got hit in the head with a frisbee
[23:16] <autarch> is dinklage gonna start singing "round here"
[23:16] <Trebtoes> ahah
[23:16] <oh_its_max> 28 minutes of credits
[23:16] <besoin> i was workshopping a counting crows joke but couldn't get there
[23:16] <autarch> wait
[23:16] <dan2> extra tempting since there were crows in GoT
[23:16] <kayke> my tiptoes and me
[23:17] <autarch> his lastt name is bidet?
[23:17] <oh_its_max> how does the title tiptoes tie in
[23:17] <besoin> i hear it as bedelia
[23:17] <autarch> hee just called her Mrs Bidet
[23:17] <besoin> it's bedalia on imdb
[23:17] <autarch> there's still 30 more minutes
[23:17] <autarch> i still think he said bidet
[23:17] <dan2> the ending of this is nutso
[23:17] <oh_its_max> gonna hibernate
[23:18] <lhs> love all the trivia vandalism
[23:18] <lhs> "In this film Peter Dinklage drank so much water he became the official water champ. He was soft at first but got it done in 3 long chugs."
[23:18] <dan2> lol
[23:18] <@Ampersand> long kiss
[23:18] <lhs> wonder if my point break skifree yeti is still up
[23:19] <besoin> what the heck
[23:19] <autarch> what
[23:19] <kayke> he's going full heathcliffe
[23:19] <autarch> they're goonna give it hgh?
[23:19] <shrimpdentist> is matt drunk
[23:19] <@Ampersand> as for you, we'll send you the bill
[23:19] <besoin> this is not cool
[23:19] <autarch> no it isnt
[23:19] <shrimpdentist> i get that he was never really supposed to be the best dude but this heel turn is still really sudden
[23:19] <lhs> oh good, still there
[23:20] <autarch> don't ttell me the endinng but is she gonna marry rolf instead?
[23:20] <autarch> dont tell e
[23:20] <lhs> wait what happened, he split?
[23:20] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:20] <dan2> maybe some of the lost footage is dwarfs beating the shit out of him in High School
[23:20] <autarch> that's just my prediction
[23:20] <besoin> what??
[23:21] <besoin> looks like a baby alright
[23:21] <lhs> man i look at imdb for two minutes and suddenly there's a baby and idk what's going on
[23:22] <Trebtoes> "Make him do 3 reps of 50"
[23:22] <besoin> it seems the baby has dwarfism and MM is really angry about it, lhs
[23:22] <kayke> listen to this loaf of bread wrapped in a blanket screaming
[23:22] <dan2> weight training area/nursery
[23:22] <@Ampersand> say the word: "rwolf"
[23:22] <dan2> lol
[23:22] <autarch> BECAUSE HEES A FUCKN BABY
[23:22] <besoin> he's crying because the loft is so echo-y
[23:22] <oh_its_max> not the feel good movie of the year
[23:22] <autarch> wait, no you'ree not matt
[23:23] <dan2> must've got confused
[23:23] <Trebtoes> where did the baby o
[23:23] <Trebtoes> go
[23:23] <dan2> baby snuck into the secret couch compartment
[23:23] <besoin> MM's character is so terrible
[23:24] <lhs> so terrible at ENUNCIATING
[23:24] <kayke> lol
[23:24] <kayke> mm for mr mumble
[23:24] <shrimpdentist> it is true that you can see where they edited this to hell
[23:24] <shrimpdentist> i just can't imagine what they could have cut out that would improve it
[23:24] <kayke> can't believe these two are going strong
[23:24] <besoin> is the talking cat in there
[23:25] <Trebtoes> A mister potato head in a blanket
[23:26] <shrimpdentist> "i'm working on a screenplay, it's called tiptoes"
[23:26] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:26] <autarch> go maurice
[23:26] <dan2> Dinklage 2024
[23:26] <oh_its_max> maurice is correct
[23:26] <shrimpdentist> his eyes lol
[23:26] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:27] <autarch> oldman's sweater
[23:27] <besoin> i wonder how her career painting giant flowers on walls is going
[23:27] <dan2> ok nevermind
[23:27] <shrimpdentist> extremely regressive gender politics for a marxist
[23:27] <oh_its_max> woops
[23:27] <autarch> wtfffff
[23:27] <autarch> dinklage u stink
[23:27] <dan2> The Hatin' Agent
[23:27] <oh_its_max> truly a man of contrasts
[23:27] <besoin> totally real baby
[23:28] <shrimpdentist> yeesh
[23:28] <Trebtoes> lordy
[23:28] <besoin> what the hell
[23:28] <@Ampersand> riffffff
[23:28] <Trebtoes> what
[23:28] <autarch> whatt
[23:28] <lhs> is this jean mcceilingfan
[23:28] <besoin> heh
[23:30] <shrimpdentist> her pajama taste has really matured
[23:30] <@Ampersand> she's truly become Mom
[23:30] <dan2> that's her growth as a character
[23:31] <shrimpdentist> it just occurred to me that i don't think i've noticed any score in this movie until this moment
[23:31] <besoin> oldman almost slides into bill dauterive, but not quite
[23:31] <Trebtoes> ahah
[23:32] <kayke> why did he do a horse call at the baby
[23:32] <besoin> i cannot believe major stars are in this
[23:32] <dan2> lmao
[23:32] <lhs> little person, massive shoulder
[23:32] <dan2> major stars who were still pretty major at the time
[23:33] <dan2> this feels like the sort of thing 86yr old William Shatner would agree to
[23:33] <oh_its_max> if the director's cut is ever released idk if i can do it
[23:33] <Trebtoes> so much fucking whispering
[23:34] <dan2> I do appreciate how many time McConaughey has gotten to say "alright"
[23:34] <lhs> i'm not sure why we're even doing this cut
[23:34] <autarch> i can do it.
[23:34] <autarch> i can do the director's cut.
[23:34] <dan2> still unavailable sadly
[23:34] <dan2> truly Von Stroheim's Greed of our generation
[23:35] <@Ampersand> happy father's day everybody
[23:35] <shrimpdentist> lol
[23:35] <shrimpdentist> 9 minutes of oldman leg-hider credits
[23:35] == Trebtoes [webchat@cloak-zdixmunv.hr.hr.cox.net] has quit [Ping timeout]
[23:36] <besoin> how did MM not walk off the set when he saw the cameras were all old jvc camcorders
[23:36] <Bob511> Unavailable unless you're Nicolas Wending Refn
[23:36] <kayke> does her art make money or is she just living rent free at her brother in laws?
[23:36] <besoin> that was a very awkward squat
[23:36] <shrimpdentist> what do you think rolf writes about
[23:37] <kayke> reviews kneepads
[23:37] <autarch> wait
[23:37] <oh_its_max> gary oldman IS david rubin
[23:37] <autarch> so, what's matt's deal
[23:38] <autarch> omg
[23:38] <autarch> they DID end up together
[23:38] <lhs> gary's storing his spare kneepads on his shoulder
[23:38] <besoin> maybe oldman should've tried camouflaging his legs
[23:38] <besoin> "come watch harry anderson in dave's world with me"
[23:39] <Bob511> Little person, enormous bong.
[23:39] <besoin> little person, big bear
[23:39] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:39] <shrimpdentist> the sky is is quite literally heavenly
[23:39] <besoin> ooh la la
[23:39] <autarch> "I also have one of thoose inflatable domes where you can project the stars onto it, if you'd ratther use tthat"
[23:40] <dan2> Mouth to Rowf
[23:40] <oh_its_max> is this a happy ending
[23:40] <shrimpdentist> unreal
[23:40] <oh_its_max> what the
[23:40] <besoin> wtf
[23:40] <@Ampersand> are you not happy
[23:40] <kayke> WHAT
[23:40] <autarch> called it
[23:40] <oh_its_max> i am not
[23:40] <autarch> im happy
[23:40] <besoin> i am not entertained
[23:40] <shrimpdentist> oh ok
[23:40] <besoin> rolfe
[23:40] <autarch> rolf was the cool bro
[23:40] <oh_its_max> maurice, misogynist marxist
[23:40] <autarch> that wasn't as bad  as i thought it'd be
[23:40] <@Ampersand> maurice go on chapo
[23:41] <autarch> lol
[23:41] <dan2> abandoned my baby, time to boogie
[23:41] <shrimpdentist> hundreds of people worked on this without pulling the plug
[23:41] <besoin> home prices must have been so high when they made this
[23:41] <lhs> i'm still laughing at the fake trivia
[23:41] <oh_its_max> god
[23:41] <oh_its_max> "you know, this whole raising a baby with dwarfism this just isn't doing it for me. PEACE OUT"
[23:41] <besoin> if anyone here ever meets gary oldman, you must ask him about his moose soup
[23:41] <Bob511> I mean, they kind of pulled the plug.
[23:41] <Bob511> The director got fired.
[23:42] <lhs> if he on cameo
[23:42] <lhs> is*
[23:42] <oh_its_max> "SAMSON"
[23:42] <@Ampersand> fake name
[23:42] <@Ampersand> wanted anonymity
[23:42] <shrimpdentist> wait what dog
[23:42] <oh_its_max> woof
[23:42] <oh_its_max> sally had a dog
[23:42] <dan2> they needed 4 police officers for this?
[23:42] <kayke> I think there was a dog at the hotel
[23:42] <besoin> serious music
[23:43] <Bob511> Also, Rowlf.
[23:43] <shrimpdentist> that's just all the police that showed up when i called the cops on this whole thing
[23:43] <dan2> ah
[23:43] <shrimpdentist> mr. oldman's wardrobe by diesel
[23:43] <lhs> roven dino
[23:43] <oh_its_max> ooo wee
[23:43] <kayke> ooo wee
[23:43] <lhs> that's what happens when you shut off the fence at jurassic park
[23:43] <@Ampersand> Sexy Reggar
[23:43] <@Ampersand> *Reggae
[23:43] <shrimpdentist> sexy reggae
[23:43] <shrimpdentist> god damn
[23:43] <autarch> sexy reggae
[23:44] <autarch> it sure was
[23:44] <shrimpdentist> who are these people
[23:44] <autarch> bummed out in eirut
[23:44] <dan2> Matthew Bright's IMDB photo is pretty good: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTQ0M2U1NTQtYjYyOS00MmM3LWE1MTEtMjhhZGM3YmMzMThmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUyNDk2ODc@._V1_.jpg
[23:44] <shrimpdentist> SEQUENTIAL WHINE
[23:44] <autarch> *beirut
[23:44] <lhs> soundtrack by neural network
[23:44] <shrimpdentist> why is it like that
[23:44] <dan2> Tipt()es
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:34 pm

Next Tuesday,
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Postby donna martin » Fri Jun 26, 2020 10:51 am

I once wrote an entire thank you note to a friend that was just Bill Pullman's seminal speech from this movie.

I will spend this entire movie quoting it. Please keep struttin mushroom in your thoughts.
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jun 29, 2020 8:12 am

Ampersand wrote:Next Tuesday,
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 10:41 am

tonight, we welcome ourselves back to earth
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 2:13 pm

Bump
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:08 pm

one hour!
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:41 pm

Tonight's Feature Presentation:
ID4

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https://webchat.quakenet.org/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby quinine » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:52 pm

o dang I figured yall were doin the sequel
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:56 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight's Feature Presentation:
ID4

Image
https://webchat.quakenet.org/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jun 30, 2020 11:33 pm

Code: Select all
[22:11] <@Ampersand> 3
[22:11] <@Ampersand> 2
[22:11] <@Ampersand> 1
[22:12] <autarch> wait
[22:12] <dan2> when I think of the 20th Century Fox logo I think of this
[22:12] <donnamartin> oh man i am not getting up early tomorrow
[22:12] <besoinnick_jr> is there sound right now?
[22:12] <jalapeno> I haven't seen this in at least 15 years.
[22:12] <autarch> have they changed it to 21st century fox yet?
[22:12] <donnamartin> i watch this roughly ever 3 months
[22:12] <Trebbers> I bet that logo sounds great in 5.1
[22:12] <donnamartin> that and jurassic world
[22:12] <jalapeno> All I remember is the flying dog and the big speech.
[22:13] <BlackSugar> can I get a time check?
[22:13] <@Ampersand> 1:25
[22:13] <@Ampersand> 1:30
[22:13] <@Ampersand> 1:40
[22:13] <autarch> blacksugar, you're supposed to ask in all caps, and with two exclamation marks
[22:13] <besoinnick_jr> can someone give me 2:00
[22:13] <autarch> *question marks
[22:13] <BlackSugar> thanks. can you give me 2:35
[22:13] <@Ampersand> 2:10
[22:14] <kayke> aliens
[22:14] <autarch> i'll getcha
[22:14] <@Ampersand> 2:25
[22:14] <donnamartin> sorry, can i get 2:50?
[22:14] <@Ampersand> 235
[22:14] <autarch> 2:35
[22:14] <besoinnick_jr> subtle foreshadowing
[22:14] <BlackSugar> thank you!!
[22:14] <BlackSugar> I"m in
[22:14] <@Ampersand> 250
[22:14] <autarch> 2:50
[22:14] <kayke> lol
[22:14] <BlackSugar> now I gotta go make a drink and put in a dip and get stone and feed the cats
[22:14] <autarch> aam i the only one who got the time correctly
[22:15] <donnamartin> thanks all. good lord, all these technical glitches it's like there's an alien invasion
[22:15] <Bob704> WOW!
[22:15] <Trebbers> ID4 more like IDM
[22:15] <jalapeno> I'm am munching on prosciutto and olives. The most... American food.
[22:15] <besoinnick_jr> let's now weeze the juice here
[22:15] <besoinnick_jr> *not
[22:15] <donnamartin> real talk. now that we've seen 2020, should we be rooting for the aliens?
[22:15] <jalapeno> I always was
[22:15] <donnamartin> fair
[22:16] <autarch> USA Baby!!!
[22:16] <@Ampersand> "only SCTV, sir"
[22:16] <besoinnick_jr> loggia & lauria & frank
[22:16] <autarch> back to back world war champs baby!!!!!
[22:17] <Bob704> Are there pentagonal decals all over the Pentagon?
[22:17] <autarch> wait, what's slowing down?
[22:17] <jalapeno> Is this movie just people waking up each other with phone calls for two hours?
[22:17] <besoinnick_jr> a beautiful young egg
[22:17] <jalapeno> Wait, 2 1/2 hours?!
[22:17] <donnamartin> yeah, that's pretty efficient for saving the planet,
[22:17] <Bob704> Damn, crime bill failed to pass, such a shame.
[22:18] <besoinnick_jr> was this lady ever in another movie
[22:18] <lhs> four shades of gray on him so far
[22:18] <autarch> lol
[22:18] <BlackSugar> he looks like a vanilla version of viggo in eastern promises, which I watched last night
[22:19] <besoinnick_jr> the president looks like he coaches a d3 college basketball team
[22:19] <donnamartin> she was on gossip girl and as the world turns
[22:19] <Trebbers> "Transfer it to the flower phone"
[22:19] <kayke> lol
[22:20] <besoinnick_jr> is this a movie where someone in the imdb trivia tells us how long it is before will smith appears on screen
[22:20] <donnamartin> yea but in the meantime you have julius
[22:21] <donnamartin> playing a very original, nonstereotypical character
[22:21] <BlackSugar> he's so 90s
[22:21] <@Ampersand> helllooooo
[22:21] <kayke> I wish I were smart enough that I could play golf and ride bikes inside
[22:21] <donnamartin> i bet jeff goldblum rides his bike on the sidewalk too
[22:21] <Bob704> "What's the firestein?"
[22:21] <autarch> i didn't know goldblum was in this
[22:22] <BlackSugar> lol
[22:22] <BlackSugar> goldblum is in everything in the 90s
[22:22] <autarch> i don't remember anyone in this except will smith and...rick moranis?
[22:22] <donnamartin> i've watched this movie 1,000 times and i sitll don't know where goldblum works
[22:22] <Bob704> Rick Moranis?
[22:22] <jalapeno> A fun Shitflixe would be Color of Night, where they almost used a body double for Bruce Willis' sex scenes because they thought his dong was too small.
[22:22] <@Ampersand> Joseph Gordon Frankenstein
[22:22] <dan2> Rick Moranis plays the alien king, yes
[22:22] <kayke> grow some sleeves dude
[22:22] <@Ampersand> "then... then i'll just have to take off my shirt"
[22:22] <donnamartin> what will 20 minutes do? they're dead
[22:23] <besoinnick_jr> blacksugar wants us to notice that goldblum has the same job he had at npr, i bet
[22:23] <besoinnick_jr> i see you, blacksugar
[22:23] <@Ampersand> flying to canada
[22:23] <BlackSugar> ha ha
[22:23] <BlackSugar> fuck npr
[22:23] <jalapeno> Why's that dude familiar
[22:23] <kayke> oh it's the christmas vacation
[22:23] <donnamartin> randy quaid?
[22:23] <besoinnick_jr> which one?
[22:23] <kayke> yee
[22:24] <jalapeno> Other one.
[22:24] <besoinnick_jr> the teen guy is the rabbit in donnie darko
[22:24] <BlackSugar> buying pints is not very economical
[22:24] <Bob704> And a Gregg Araki regular.
[22:24] <@Ampersand> NASA lives in my butt now
[22:24] <BlackSugar> she's so sassy
[22:24] <besoinnick_jr> former boarder disco made a movie with him
[22:25] <Bob704> In fact, he turns into an alien the year after ID4, I think?
[22:25] <jalapeno> Was he in Doom Generation?
[22:25] <jalapeno> Oh shit that's it
[22:25] <kayke> upgrade to def jam 3
[22:25] <BlackSugar> man they just jumped right into it
[22:25] <besoinnick_jr> can someone give me time? having all sorts of issues over here
[22:26] <BlackSugar> I figured a 2.5 hour movie would have half an hour of family discussions
[22:26] <donnamartin> maybe it's an alien invasion
[22:26] <donnamartin> black sugar have you not seen this?
[22:26] <jalapeno> 14:30
[22:26] <besoinnick_jr> thanks
[22:26] <BlackSugar> 14:35
[22:26] <BlackSugar> oh I've seen it but not for a long time
[22:26] <autarch> why does this guy talk like an rich, 90 year old widow?
[22:26] <donnamartin> ah, yes, well, spoiler, they jump right into it
[22:26] <BlackSugar> donna, thanks
[22:27] <BlackSugar> :-)
[22:27] <autarch> second coming of christ
[22:27] <autarch> that movie where the bees were dying
[22:27] <@Ampersand> we're talking about a total rapture
[22:27] <autarch> that shot was from that
[22:27] <besoinnick_jr> the infrared?
[22:27] <Trebbers> "Radar's jammed"
[22:27] <donnamartin> oh know, it's gak!
[22:27] <lhs> 23% of the script is "sir"
[22:28] <autarch> "nobody bombs iraq but us!"
[22:28] <besoinnick_jr> turn on the zenith
[22:28] <jalapeno> these phone bills must be outrageous
[22:28] <besoinnick_jr> "it's effect on satellite tv is akin to a light rain"
[22:28] <besoinnick_jr> *its
[22:28] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:28] <donnamartin> they have to negotiate long distnace with at&t and mci all the time
[22:29] <besoinnick_jr> that's just regular california
[22:29] <BlackSugar> so much for dinner service
[22:29] <Trebbers> whoops
[22:29] <jalapeno> didn't pay their bill, line got disconnected
[22:30] <donnamartin> damn longdistance rates
[22:30] <BlackSugar> their neighbor needed to use the phone
[22:30] <autarch> "no, americans will keep their cool"
[22:30] <lhs> heh
[22:30] <BlackSugar> "don't panic, you'll all be dead very soon"
[22:30] <donnamartin> yeah 2020 showed us we can handle a major crisis fine
[22:30] <autarch> last thing we need while we're all dying, is a bunch of annoying panickers
[22:30] <jalapeno> Americans won't stay in their homes for COVID, I don't think this is gonna work for aliens
[22:30] <besoinnick_jr> don't you get it? this means there is no god
[22:31] <donnamartin> i didn't need this movie to tell me that
[22:31] <Bob704> Some good extras faces in this office.
[22:31] <BlackSugar> MY WIFE
[22:32] <lhs> reanu keeves, come here
[22:32] <BlackSugar> harvey's voice is really hurting me
[22:32] <BlackSugar> I keep clearing my throat
[22:32] <autarch> who are these guys
[22:32] <BlackSugar> local toughs
[22:33] <donnamartin> spoiler: randy quaid is just playing himself
[22:33] <BlackSugar> yeah he wasn't even cast, he just wandered on set and they ran with it
[22:34] <BlackSugar> how did that kid get himself dressed?
[22:34] <jalapeno> there are a lot of people in this movie
[22:34] <@Ampersand> mommy lookit: flying pancakes
[22:34] <besoinnick_jr> will smith alert
[22:34] <besoinnick_jr> 22 mins in
[22:34] <BlackSugar> mommy lookit: I dressed myself for the very first time, and wrote a book
[22:34] <donnamartin> can 5 yo's not dress themselves?
[22:34] <donnamartin> sincere question
[22:34] <BlackSugar> god no
[22:34] <BlackSugar> leave it up to them and they'll wear eggo waffles
[22:35] <donnamartin> i feel like they can at least put on a shirt?
[22:35] <jalapeno> they can but they have no fashion sense, it's embarrassing
[22:35] <donnamartin> i meant hat's a good call, bs
[22:35] <donnamartin> no it's hilarious
[22:35] <donnamartin> i love little kid fashion choices
[22:35] <donnamartin> they give no fucks
[22:35] <besoinnick_jr> fake news
[22:35] <BlackSugar> yeah half the time huckle was just wearing a garden hose
[22:35] <jalapeno> I only dress my child in the finest Santino Rice
[22:35] <@Ampersand> welcome to orbit
[22:35] <donnamartin> lady gaga was inspired by huckle, i'd say
[22:36] <BlackSugar> lol yeah
[22:36] <besoinnick_jr> time to pay, wall street
[22:36] <donnamartin> i bought myself a grown up tutu that i now waer to work because i decided if kids can, so can i
[22:36] <Bob704> ....was that a little Chewbacca in that sound effect?
[22:36] <BlackSugar> heh
[22:36] <jalapeno> that spaceship seems a bit garish
[22:36] <donnamartin> defund the police
[22:36] <BlackSugar> yeah and fund the auto brake makers
[22:37] <@Ampersand> "my god.... aliens"
[22:37] <autarch> it should be darker
[22:37] <autarch> like, they're blocking almost the whole sky
[22:37] <jalapeno> trust the nation?!
[22:37] <BlackSugar> now what? invade iran
[22:37] <donnamartin> address the nation
[22:37] <autarch> have you seen how dark it gets in a solar eclipse? it should be at least that dark
[22:37] <BlackSugar> dress the nation
[22:37] <lhs> as dark as a transition lens gets
[22:37] <jalapeno> ah yes
[22:38] <donnamartin> weird i feel like to watch your neighbors while you pee
[22:38] <donnamartin> a suitemate of mine used to watch "shooting aliens" segment on repeat
[22:38] <BlackSugar> hmm better not look up
[22:39] <besoinnick_jr> is it because he says shooting galiens
[22:39] <jalapeno> stop shooting the aliens, kid!!!
[22:39] <donnamartin> yes, besoin
[22:39] <besoinnick_jr> that got me too
[22:39] <BlackSugar> what were the acting notes given to harvey?
[22:40] <donnamartin> PANIC
[22:40] <besoinnick_jr> BE YOURSELF
[22:40] <donnamartin> heavy breathing and smoking
[22:40] <Trebbers> like chess huh
[22:40] <Bob704> Bombay in 1996, huh?
[22:40] <donnamartin> thank god jeff plays chess AND likes sateillites
[22:40] <BlackSugar> and wears a mean necklace
[22:40] <kayke> do they work in the Sightings office?
[22:41] <@Ampersand> lol
[22:41] <besoinnick_jr> time to bike to washington
[22:41] <autarch> alien skeptic wife guy
[22:42] <BlackSugar> by the laws of 'day after tomorrow' he should be able to bike from nyc to dc in 45 minutes
[22:42] <donnamartin> lol
[22:42] <besoinnick_jr> vivica, please
[22:42] <donnamartin> ladiez be crazy
[22:42] <lhs> the alien ship triggered her period
[22:42] <donnamartin> oh bad news will
[22:42] <donnamartin> lol lhs
[22:42] <BlackSugar> lol
[22:43] <autarch> lol
[22:43] <BlackSugar> it's always something!
[22:43] <besoinnick_jr> they wouldn't attack a base
[22:43] <autarch> "these are nice aliens trust me"
[22:44] <donnamartin> oh boy
[22:44] <BlackSugar> I think I just saw tv on the radio run past
[22:44] <besoinnick_jr> that's the millennium biltmore hotel
[22:45] <donnamartin> this is legit one of the dumbest things they do
[22:45] <Bob704> "I'll leave on the first battlestar off-planet."
[22:46] <BlackSugar> this really is seinfeld + aliens
[22:46] <jalapeno> I dunno about these alien sexual abuse jokes
[22:47] <besoinnick_jr> andrew keegan
[22:47] <donnamartin> wanna join my weird cult?
[22:47] <BlackSugar> FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT ALIENS TELL ME
[22:47] <donnamartin> how's he still drunk?
[22:47] <donnamartin> this is def the extended cut
[22:48] <besoinnick_jr> yeah
[22:48] <besoinnick_jr> very disorienting
[22:48] <lhs> what's eating filbert frape
[22:48] <autarch> then stop crying
[22:48] <Trebbers> Yeah f medicine
[22:48] <besoinnick_jr> if you not a baby why you wearin' that osh kosh b'gosh
[22:48] <autarch> lol besoin
[22:48] <donnamartin> i'm fine with that not making the theatrical release
[22:49] <besoinnick_jr> my namesake, finally
[22:49] <@Ampersand> "we regret to inform you, booty not licious"
[22:49] <autarch> 1 hour 55 minutes to go
[22:49] <Bob704> That's a wedding ring?
[22:50] <jalapeno> I definitely do not remember this
[22:50] <Trebbers> yeah, me neither
[22:50] <@Ampersand> that was a very quick change
[22:50] <donnamartin> oh i remember it
[22:51] <donnamartin> it's original cut
[22:51] <autarch> i don't remember this
[22:51] <@Ampersand> how soon you forget
[22:51] <donnamartin> also, she was in Saved By the Bell: The College Years
[22:51] <autarch> must have got cut out of the tbs edition
[22:51] <donnamartin> big couple of years for her
[22:51] <autarch> named your kid boomer?
[22:51] <jalapeno> FLYING DOG
[22:51] <autarch> *shudders*
[22:51] <Trebbers> Dude has a point
[22:52] <besoinnick_jr> pretty sure I95 would be fucked in both directions
[22:52] <BlackSugar> god I love early internet depictions
[22:52] <jalapeno> So Jeff Goldblum works at AT&T
[22:52] <BlackSugar> OY GEVALT
[22:52] <Trebbers> I don't even think Judd Hirsch is 60 here
[22:52] <donnamartin> ok this i don't recall
[22:52] <besoinnick_jr> guess that was their exit
[22:53] <autarch> spunky?
[22:53] <jalapeno> BLOOP
[22:53] <BlackSugar> donna you are our historian here. I enjoy hearing the extra  bits
[22:53] <donnamartin> i believe both dan and i have this movie memorized
[22:53] <donnamartin> this is original tho
[22:54] <autarch> didn't know gadgets were in this
[22:54] <donnamartin> i'm okay with being The Official Historian of ID4
[22:54] <besoinnick_jr> kinda hard to triangulate from one place
[22:54] <jalapeno> aha
[22:54] <donnamartin> pre-9/11
[22:54] <BlackSugar> pre-olympus has fallen
[22:54] <donnamartin> White House Down was better
[22:55] <donnamartin> wait have we done OHF?
[22:55] <BlackSugar> I'm sorry you are mistaken
[22:55] <Bob704> "The administration is furiously reviewing its Close Encounters of the Third Kind DVD."
[22:55] <donnamartin> BS we need to get a socially distnace beer and i will explain why you're wrong
[22:55] <besoinnick_jr> vhs at this point
[22:55] <BlackSugar> dm I would welcome it and would prepare a 32 slide powerpoint proving my position
[22:56] <BlackSugar> we can zoom and share screen as well
[22:56] <besoinnick_jr> "roger that, play it the macarena"
[22:56] <donnamartin> i have a 10 point email in my drafts folder on why 2 fast 2 furious is underrated so don't bring a knife to a gun fight
[22:56] <BlackSugar> LOL
[22:56] <donnamartin> i never sent it
[22:56] <donnamartin> it seemed weird
[22:56] <donnamartin> but i still have it
[22:56] <BlackSugar> it is
[22:56] <besoinnick_jr> good to hear we're unanimous on which side is the front
[22:56] <autarch> god, it's so offensive to me when they put stereotypical jewish characters in movies
[22:57] <jalapeno> Will Smith has been in this movie for like two minutes so far
[22:57] <besoinnick_jr> 6 of 6 find that interesting
[22:57] <BlackSugar> nothing like a long convoluted explanation
[22:57] <autarch> he's talking about the most basic fucking shit
[22:58] <jalapeno> check out this timer I installed on my computer
[22:58] <BlackSugar> ticking clocks are effectively basic
[22:58] <donnamartin> bill pullman really worked on his resolute face
[22:58] <besoinnick_jr> why isn't anyone recalling them
[22:58] <besoinnick_jr> the president just ordered it
[22:58] <BlackSugar> PULL EM BACK no wait this looks cool
[22:59] <besoinnick_jr> "the aliens might be vietnamese, sir"
[22:59] <jalapeno> sure didn't see that coming
[22:59] <BlackSugar> MY WIFE
[22:59] <BlackSugar> VERY NICE
[22:59] <@Ampersand> my wiiiife
[22:59] <autarch> we're still in the first paragraph of the wiki plot synopsis
[22:59] <jalapeno> oh shit we just jumped 20 minutes?!
[22:59] <@Ampersand> maybe the aliens just wanna kiss
[22:59] <donnamartin> amp have we done olympus has fallen?
[22:59] <autarch> it looks like the ceiling of a laser tag place
[22:59] <BlackSugar> the aliens thought that's how you greet someone
[22:59] <besoinnick_jr> gotta take those famous LA surface streets
[23:00] <autarch> TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER
[23:00] <Trebbers> Signs look too good
[23:00] <BlackSugar> I'm kinda looking forward to harvey dying
[23:00] <Bob704> Dr. Katz?
[23:00] <jalapeno> you're earthlings, let's blow up earth things
[23:00] <besoinnick_jr> gives new meaning to astroturfing, treb
[23:01] <lhs> always the fucking blue LEDs
[23:01] <jalapeno> the butthole of space
[23:01] <BlackSugar> honestly, I would be happy with this kind of death
[23:01] <besoinnick_jr> good thing no one was in downtown los angeles after 6 pm in the 90s
[23:01] <donnamartin> Samsung stole from this movie
[23:01] <@Ampersand> wow the aliens are doing a goatse
[23:01] <besoinnick_jr> how did the empire state building get built in the middle of the street
[23:01] <lhs> gotta put black tape on all my electronics
[23:01] <Trebbers> ah
[23:02] <autarch> lol amp
[23:02] <BlackSugar> the gaping aliens
[23:02] <donnamartin> it hought the VP was already secure?
[23:02] <BlackSugar> who's the vp
[23:02] <Trebbers> Wonder if Geiger's aliens also had two buttholes
[23:02] <BlackSugar> judd hirsch?
[23:02] <donnamartin> too bad his dad didn't drive faster
[23:02] <BlackSugar> woof
[23:03] <@Ampersand> they like us! they really like us!
[23:03] <BlackSugar> maga aliens
[23:03] <autarch> wait
[23:03] <autarch> didn't they already do blow that building up?
[23:03] <besoinnick_jr> nailed it, harvey
[23:03] <autarch> damn
[23:03] <BlackSugar> the truth hurts
[23:03] <autarch> shoulda made it 3D
[23:04] <lhs> so far no losers
[23:04] <jalapeno> I'm not sure I understand the physics of the flying cars
[23:04] <BlackSugar> oop that's my hood
[23:04] <Bob704> Lazy ass fire truck.
[23:04] <BlackSugar> later dudes
[23:04] <Bob704> Do your job.
[23:04] <besoinnick_jr> i hope they got mitch mcconnell
[23:04] <donnamartin> i wonder if that would be like the butterfly effect
[23:04] <donnamartin> what if mitch mcconnel had died in ID4?
[23:04] <Trebbers> Not enough screamin on that plane
[23:04] <jalapeno> lol how this airplane gonna fly faster?
[23:04] <BlackSugar> I just died sitting on the toilet
[23:04] <autarch> better go fast
[23:05] <BlackSugar> "why won't my vanity search go th-" BOOOOOM
[23:05] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:05] <autarch> JR< it's gonna go faster because it's now off the ground and there's less friction
[23:05] <besoinnick_jr> boommmmerrrrrrrr
[23:05] <jalapeno> FLYING DOG TIME
[23:05] <@Ampersand> dog slow turn
[23:05] <BlackSugar> "I'm too hot to die!"
[23:05] <donnamartin> oh yeah bs we're 1,000 percent dead in this scenario
[23:06] <jalapeno> YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[23:06] <Trebbers> lolololol
[23:06] <@Ampersand> hell yea
[23:06] <BlackSugar> just came
[23:06] <besoinnick_jr> toasted lab
[23:06] <donnamartin> the dog just stood there until called is my faovrite thing
[23:06] <autarch> damn
[23:06] <@Ampersand> PREDEPENDENCE DAY
[23:06] <autarch> it's not even independence day?
[23:06] <besoinnick_jr> the aliens with a metaphor
[23:06] <autarch> wtfff
[23:06] <BlackSugar> "all liberal states have been incinerated"
[23:06] <BlackSugar> some good people on both sides though
[23:06] <@Ampersand> "i've been saying it: the Star Fuckers are after me"
[23:07] <autarch> shouldn't have smashed yr medicine
[23:07] <BlackSugar> "sir you are now mr. president widower"
[23:08] <jalapeno> "she dead sir"
[23:08] <BlackSugar> MY.... wife
[23:09] <besoinnick_jr> the palm trees are only slightly tousled
[23:09] <donnamartin> that's how you know you're in la
[23:09] <BlackSugar> so the alien plan was to bomb earth and then chill and netflix for awhile
[23:09] <besoinnick_jr> you don't see enough of bill smitrovich
[23:10] <donnamartin> didnt' seem like he was done explaining the plan
[23:10] <BlackSugar> wow harry connick jr is a dick
[23:10] <autarch> aliens came to deliver us space weed
[23:10] <besoinnick_jr> i hate when microwave communication goes down
[23:10] <jalapeno> wait why have I not been smoking weed for this
[23:10] <BlackSugar> love it when they still reference microwaves
[23:11] <BlackSugar> jalapeno
[23:11] <BlackSugar> dude
[23:11] <BlackSugar> I've had 3 bowls since 00:00
[23:11] <jalapeno> distracted by prosciutto :(
[23:11] <BlackSugar> loading another just to spite you
[23:11] <autarch> what is going on
[23:11] <jalapeno> please spite me three more times
[23:12] <autarch> now, iirc, the rest of the movie is just a big dogfight scene? don't spoil it though.
[23:12] <besoinnick_jr> they could have shot missiles at this thing from a ship 100 miles away
[23:12] <Trebbers> "What about the people under the ship, sir?" "Oh shit"
[23:13] <jalapeno> what if Will Smith just died here
[23:13] <BlackSugar> jalapeno, 1/3 is done and done
[23:13] <BlackSugar> this room is filled with so much smoke
[23:13] <autarch> is the alien ok though?
[23:13] <BlackSugar> it's my own independence day
[23:13] <Bob704> Honestly, dying right here would have been a better death than the franchise gave him.
[23:13] <autarch> the one that collided with the plane
[23:13] <autarch> is that alien ok?
[23:13] <besoinnick_jr> the aliens have all of this technology, but no aim
[23:14] <Bob704> The sequel Poochie'd him.
[23:14] <BlackSugar> the aliens also have wussyish sounding lasers
[23:14] <autarch> give em the nuke
[23:14] <donnamartin> i mean, i think it's too late to abort
[23:14] <lhs> just realized that all the scenes i thought i remembered were from men in black
[23:14] <donnamartin> lolol
[23:14] <besoinnick_jr> stop micromanaging, mr. president
[23:14] <@Ampersand> Star Wolf!!!!
[23:14] <donnamartin> how can they get them out of there?
[23:15] <autarch> these aliens are good
[23:15] <autarch> how did they get all the way to desert
[23:15] <BlackSugar> it's l.a.
[23:15] <besoinnick_jr> mach 2.7, wow
[23:15] <@Ampersand> NO MASKS!
[23:15] <BlackSugar> the desert is like 10 miles from town
[23:15] <@Ampersand> I'M BREATHIN MY OWN BACTERIA
[23:15] <autarch> fackin jimmy
[23:15] <Trebbers> is this harry connicks first day on the job
[23:15] <Trebbers> lol amp
[23:16] <BlackSugar> pew pew pew
[23:16] <besoinnick_jr> not a single hit
[23:16] <besoinnick_jr> they blew up a jeep
[23:16] <jalapeno> almost typed that exact post, BS
[23:16] <Trebbers> Cool just made them mad
[23:16] <jalapeno> PEW
[23:16] <BlackSugar> lol
[23:16] <BlackSugar> PEW
[23:16] <autarch> would be sick if the aliens came and blew up all the airforce planes for real
[23:16] <Bob704> Not allowed to blow up the actual fighter jets.
[23:16] <autarch> alien is on expert mode
[23:17] <autarch> fuck, do you really have to fly through and destroy this beautiful canyon?
[23:17] <besoinnick_jr> way to take out ONE alien
[23:17] <besoinnick_jr> jesus, that landing
[23:17] <autarch> nice landing
[23:17] <BlackSugar> here comes the line...
[23:17] <BlackSugar> I love this line...
[23:17] <donnamartin> now which line, bs?
[23:17] <BlackSugar> wait for it
[23:17] <besoinnick_jr> i think you'll find he says earth
[23:17] <autarch> gonna have to go back and watch that landing in slo-mo
[23:17] <jalapeno> shit, my video froze. can I get a time check?
[23:18] <donnamartin> the one where he coud have been at a barbecue?
[23:18] <BlackSugar> one sec
[23:18] <BlackSugar> I need the line
[23:18] <BlackSugar> WELCOME TO EARF
[23:18] <besoinnick_jr> earTH
[23:18] <donnamartin> lol he punched metal
[23:18] <autarch> one punch
[23:18] <donnamartin> wasn't that his armor?
[23:18] <lhs> he clearly says earth
[23:18] <autarch> ha!
[23:18] <donnamartin> that's a helluva punch
[23:19] <BlackSugar> fuck I hit 'stop' to give jal a time check
[23:19] <jalapeno> I'm at 1 hour 6 minutes 30 seconds. How far off am ?
[23:19] <besoinnick_jr> i bet that old timey fire truck gets great gas mileage
[23:19] <autarch> who keeps their keys in the car?
[23:19] <Bob704> People were just begging for their trucks to get stolen in '90s scifi action movies.
[23:19] <besoinnick_jr> brian krakow!
[23:19] <Bob704> Oh man
[23:19] <lhs> is your name... brain
[23:20] <besoinnick_jr> heh
[23:20] <besoinnick_jr> my so called part that was cut
[23:20] <donnamartin> lol
[23:21] <jalapeno> all right don't  know how far off I am but Goldblum just ran off to take a shit
[23:21] <BlackSugar> time?
[23:21] <donnamartin> he was barfing
[23:21] <jalapeno> no, he clearly had to shit
[23:21] <lhs> i'm going to switch to the second half of men in black
[23:21] <Trebbers> So many "My god"s
[23:21] <jalapeno> I just hit 01:09:40
[23:22] <donnamartin> you'll miss goldblum and smith team up
[23:22] <BlackSugar> can I get 1;10:30?
[23:22] <@Ampersand> 10:10:45
[23:22] <@Ampersand> 10:10:50
[23:22] <autarch> hell yeah]\
[23:22] <@Ampersand> 10 hours
[23:22] <besoinnick_jr> time to visit data
[23:23] <BlackSugar> ugh sorry
[23:23] <autarch> there is an area 51
[23:23] <jalapeno> ah damn I'm 25 seconds behind and can't fix it
[23:23] <BlackSugar> 1:12:00?
[23:23] <@Ampersand> 1:11:25
[23:23] <BlackSugar> thx, hit me at 1:12
[23:23] <besoinnick_jr> a truckful of swing voters
[23:23] <@Ampersand> 1:12
[23:23] <Bob704> At least this part of LA escaped destruction.
[23:23] <BlackSugar> got it, thank you!!!
[23:24] <lhs> don't pick up lockheed
[23:24] <donnamartin> okay that was a cut and i don't blame them
[23:24] <besoinnick_jr> get her some jamba juice
[23:24] <Bob704> It was still Juice Club in 1996, I think.
[23:25] <lhs> he's pretty early for burning man
[23:25] <donnamartin> oh man remember orange julius
[23:25] <jalapeno> can somebody tell me when it hits 1:14:30?
[23:25] <besoinnick_jr> it's the bad guys from doctor sleep
[23:25] <besoinnick_jr> (sorry, i watched doctor sleep yesterday)
[23:26] <besoinnick_jr> 1:14:30
[23:26] <jalapeno> thanks! back in sync.
[23:26] <BlackSugar> CHET
[23:26] <Bob704> That's...a weird choice of codename.
[23:26] <@Ampersand> Clean Room: TNG
[23:26] <besoinnick_jr> it's my bodyguard
[23:27] <donnamartin> it's been awhile since i watched this in one sitting. there's just so much richness
[23:27] <Bob704> Has Adam Baldwin started to show signs of aging yet?
[23:27] <Bob704> Haven't seen him recently.
[23:27] <lhs> two words, mr president: willy wonka
[23:27] <BlackSugar> "umm it was in your presidential daily briefing sir"
[23:27] <donnamartin> i wish bill paxton had been in this with bill pullman
[23:27] <besoinnick_jr> spiner kills it
[23:28] <lhs> the big tamale is just a really big tamale
[23:28] <donnamartin> i like how the president bullies his way into a clean room
[23:28] <jalapeno> what's this? I can't eat this!
[23:28] <autarch> "sir, we've baked the world's biggest calzone"
[23:28] <besoinnick_jr> yeah, very accurate, donna
[23:29] <lhs> the tamale is inside the ship
[23:29] <donnamartin> who let his kid in here
[23:29] <Trebbers> Impressive he could work a day job at Area 51 and released Where You Been the same year.
[23:29] <besoinnick_jr> oh relax
[23:29] <autarch> god, shut up prez
[23:30] <jalapeno> shut up and check out the sweet spaceship you dork
[23:30] <besoinnick_jr> "racists"
[23:30] <jalapeno> finally, the tamale
[23:30] <besoinnick_jr> isn't the alien a bigger tamale than the ship
[23:30] <BlackSugar> dude read the room
[23:31] <lhs> they were wearing some sort of corn husk
[23:31] <donnamartin> i don't think they hired him for those abilities bs
[23:31] <BlackSugar> hmm
[23:31] <besoinnick_jr> "this one had lupus"
[23:31] <donnamartin> lol
[23:31] <jalapeno> this dude? choked on a peanut
[23:32] <donnamartin> james rehborn has such a punchable face
[23:32] <besoinnick_jr> james rebhorn has left this earth, unfortunately
[23:32] <BlackSugar> lol president mogging
[23:32] <donnamartin> tru, RIP
[23:32] <besoinnick_jr> this guy played a base guard in real genius too if i'm not mistaken
[23:33] <Bob704> Don't be a dick, just give them directions to Burning Man already.
[23:33] <jalapeno> personally I think they look pretty
[23:33] <autarch> why are they letting all the rv's through too?
[23:33] <donnamartin> oh this is new
[23:33] <BlackSugar> ahh yeah
[23:33] <BlackSugar> that's trump's private physician
[23:34] <besoinnick_jr> golang
[23:34] <Bob704> They have much more advanced screensavers than us.
[23:34] <lhs> gone in 2h33m
[23:34] <autarch> "and _this_ is what they use as a sybian"
[23:35] <besoinnick_jr> boy, it's too bad they cut that scene
[23:35] <donnamartin> oh my god that joke was not original
[23:35] <donnamartin> aha
[23:36] <besoinnick_jr> the scientists are clinical adrenal cortex experts
[23:36] <BlackSugar> that was new right? I don't remember randy being an early hero
[23:36] <donnamartin> nope
[23:36] <BlackSugar> dang
[23:36] <donnamartin> it was new, i mean
[23:36] <donnamartin> sorry
[23:36] <BlackSugar> phew
[23:36] <donnamartin> the whiskey speaks for me
[23:36] <BlackSugar> I thought I was bad on my id4 lore
[23:36] <besoinnick_jr> "they wanted to destroy kansas city but couldn't find an iconic building"
[23:37] <@Ampersand> we're not... great anymore
[23:37] <autarch> wait, is this like a directors cut or something?
[23:37] <Trebbers> 9 extra minutes
[23:37] <besoinnick_jr> what kind of monsters would destroy a military base
[23:37] <donnamartin> now i'll awlk away while you process that
[23:37] <BlackSugar> lol
[23:38] <autarch> 9 glorious minutes longer
[23:38] <jalapeno> damn, that's so sad that his wife, kid, and dog died
[23:38] <jalapeno> wait a second
[23:38] <Bob704> Takes a literal apocalypse for anyone to discover that LA has a subway.
[23:39] <BlackSugar> this is like hillary clinton in the apartment
[23:39] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:39] <besoinnick_jr> the first lady is malingering
[23:39] <@Ampersand> this isn't spinal tap
[23:40] <autarch> well fuck
[23:40] <autarch> it's alive?
[23:40] <@Ampersand> alien turducken
[23:41] <autarch> what
[23:41] <autarch> it's psychic?
[23:41] <lhs> me when my cats wake me up before my alarm
[23:41] <autarch> there's a little homunculus alien inside the big one?
[23:41] <besoinnick_jr> heh, lhs
[23:41] <BlackSugar> good case for universal health care
[23:41] <@Ampersand> lol lhs
[23:42] <besoinnick_jr> looks like, uh, we've had some trouble in the lab
[23:42] <donnamartin> how did rehborn think that was his voice?
[23:43] <BlackSugar> lol ok pelosi
[23:43] <besoinnick_jr> yeah, let's try centrism
[23:43] <donnamartin> lol bs
[23:43] <autarch> these things can speak english
[23:43] <donnamartin> maybe he should try a kente cloth
[23:43] <lhs> heh
[23:44] <jalapeno> probably shoulda been bulletproof glass if I'm being honest
[23:44] <besoinnick_jr> adam baldwin was really concerned about brent spiner
[23:44] <donnamartin> so, humans?
[23:44] <besoinnick_jr> *americans
[23:44] <BlackSugar> I've consumed their exposition
[23:44] <autarch> now we're talking
[23:45] <Bob704> Well, dude, don't just put it back in empty.
[23:45] <BlackSugar> I know right?
[23:45] <BlackSugar> god that pisses me off
[23:45] <donnamartin> research AND development
[23:45] <besoinnick_jr> ooohhh
[23:46] <autarch> comcast is special
[23:46] <BlackSugar> god this fucking thing goes to 12:45
[23:46] <BlackSugar> et
[23:47] <donnamartin> buckle in bb
[23:47] <autarch> we coulda fit 2 watches of ratz in the time it takes to watch this movie
[23:47] <jalapeno> it's gonna take an hour to blow up these aliens, not very time efficient.
[23:47] <BlackSugar> the minute prince and blum fly out, I'm out
[23:47] <besoinnick_jr> we could have watched most of meet joe black
[23:48] <donnamartin> woudln't have been as special
[23:48] <jalapeno> we could have watched Deadly Mile High Club twice
[23:48] <BlackSugar> meet men in black
[23:48] <donnamartin> if i didn't have work in the morning i would follow this up with jurassic world
[23:48] <besoinnick_jr> locked don
[23:48] <BlackSugar> heh
[23:48] <lhs> i hope to watch deadly mile high club at least twice more in my life
[23:48] <lhs> in my lifetime*
[23:48] <BlackSugar> lol he sounded so annoyed when he said deploy
[23:48] <@Ampersand> lol
[23:48] <BlackSugar> FINE
[23:48] <donnamartin> i saved deadly mile high club
[23:49] <jalapeno> me too
[23:49] <donnamartin> i want to share it with others
[23:49] <lhs> i want to make friends just so i can share it
[23:49] <besoinnick_jr> are these guys on the ground near a nuclear explosion
[23:49] <BlackSugar> mission accomplished
[23:50] <donnamartin> lol
[23:50] <autarch> what city did they just nuke?
[23:50] <besoinnick_jr> houston
[23:50] <autarch> that's fine
[23:51] <lhs> what is with this weak-ass first lady
[23:51] <jalapeno> so in this world the Rockets no longer exist. I like it.
[23:51] <besoinnick_jr> hakeem is but a dream
[23:51] <lhs> acting like she has brain fever in a bad victorian novel
[23:51] <donnamartin> i mean she's dying
[23:52] <jalapeno> aren't we all
[23:52] <@Ampersand> "she looks great"
[23:52] <besoinnick_jr> try the alien technology
[23:52] <@Ampersand> maybe you could send her thoughts and prayers
[23:52] <BlackSugar> lol
[23:52] <besoinnick_jr> i mean, she seems fine
[23:52] <lhs> dying of what
[23:52] <besoinnick_jr> "internal bleeding"
[23:53] <lhs> yoga getting canceled
[23:53] <BlackSugar> are her last words going to be calling her husband a liar?
[23:53] <BlackSugar> that's cold
[23:54] <besoinnick_jr> look at egg
[23:54] <donnamartin> god that lamp is so 1993
[23:54] <@Ampersand> "was it worth it, father?"
[23:54] <jalapeno> ...in hell
[23:54] <BlackSugar> he's already thinking that he has to hire a nanny now
[23:55] <jalapeno> 2/3 of this movie does not take place on Independence Day
[23:56] <lhs> what
[23:56] <@Ampersand> good things burn fast
[23:56] <besoinnick_jr> technically they've only seen it fly on earth
[23:57] <jalapeno> almost none of this movie has featured Will Smith
[23:57] <besoinnick_jr> SIG RATE 64 MHZ
[23:57] <autarch> did he just say it's protected by the Kraft Shield (tm)?
[23:58] <autarch> cough on it
[23:58] <Bob704> Thank god protected memory didn't come around until OS X.
[23:58] <autarch> alien Kraft
[23:58] <besoinnick_jr> the alien ships run mac os
[23:58] <autarch> lol besoin
[23:58] <@Ampersand> take them down or out
[23:58] <autarch> (was that a mac & cheese joke?)
[23:59] <Trebbers> Rebhorn is a real bitch in this
[23:59] <@Ampersand> powered by hate
[00:00] <besoinnick_jr> 44 mins and $150M of budget left
[00:01] <lhs> this better have 25 mins of credits
[00:01] <BlackSugar> lol
[00:01] <autarch> the president can't fire you?
[00:01] <BlackSugar> that's the hope
[00:01] <besoinnick_jr> yeah, i want to see who judd hirsch's assistant was
[00:01] <jalapeno> the last half hour is the Wild Wild West music video on repeat
[00:01] <lhs> heh
[00:01] <autarch> oh jeez
[00:02] <donnamartin> god we're so fucking full of ourselves
[00:02] <besoinnick_jr> "they're sending us on a suicide mission"
[00:02] <BlackSugar> it's weird having other countries think of the americans with respect
[00:02] <autarch> ah yes, the israelis with british accents
[00:02] <BlackSugar> nowadays it would be "lol trump is tweeting again"
[00:02] <jalapeno> somehow that was the most ridiculous part of the movie
[00:03] <BlackSugar> randy looking slimmer than I remember
[00:03] <donnamartin> well, it was 1996
[00:03] <lhs> can't walk but he can fly
[00:03] <besoinnick_jr> sure were a lot of jet pilots in that crowd
[00:04] <besoinnick_jr> i love that the air force guy who was managing area 51 is organizing a war now
[00:04] <Trebbers> "Falcon 4.0 certified here, sir"
[00:04] <Bob704> "...and then I moved on to dispersing pesticide from an aircraft."
[00:04] <donnamartin> but usually the wrong fields
[00:04] <donnamartin> as i'm an active alcoholic played for laughs
[00:05] <@Ampersand> got that virus thumb
[00:05] <donnamartin> oh goldblum you old scamp
[00:05] <Bob704> "Someone may have to, uh, uh, you know, uh, think, uh, quickly"
[00:06] <donnamartin> lolz sorry we were apocolypse fucking
[00:06] <besoinnick_jr> doesn't goldblum not really know will at all at this point
[00:06] <lhs> worst ring i've ever seen
[00:06] <donnamartin> steve, that's a WEDDING ring
[00:06] <jalapeno> has his name been Steve the whole time?
[00:06] <donnamartin> lol
[00:07] <donnamartin> wouldn't the aliens be able to see all of this?
[00:07] <donnamartin> womynkind thx
[00:08] <autarch> oh christ
[00:08] <donnamartin> i was writing a donor letter once adn found myself starting to type "we will not go quietly into the night, we will not perish...
[00:08] <jalapeno> Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mank ind".
[00:09] <lhs> we will not leave a big tamale without a bite
[00:09] <donnamartin> mmmmm
[00:09] <donnamartin> want a tamale now
[00:09] <jalapeno> would kill for a tamale
[00:09] <donnamartin> does pullman feel like a combat pilot?
[00:09] <besoinnick_jr> adam baldwin will be president if pullman dies
[00:10] <jalapeno> Pretty selfish move by the President of the United States
[00:10] <Bob704> Oh it's been you this whole time you motherfucker
[00:10] <besoinnick_jr> when did this lady stop at an eddie bauer
[00:11] <donnamartin> when did vivica find that cute as hell combo
[00:11] <jalapeno> it was in the spaceship
[00:11] <besoinnick_jr> boomer should jump aboard
[00:11] <jalapeno> that's the alien tactical gear
[00:11] <donnamartin> i wish boomer was the one flying
[00:11] <donnamartin> space buddies, new meaning
[00:12] <Bob704> That extended scene bit about needing three pilots didn't go anywhere, huh?
[00:12] <besoinnick_jr> this worked out so well last time, will
[00:13] <donnamartin> oh man insurance is gonna ding him on that
[00:13] <besoinnick_jr> the wife in deadly mile high club needed that diagram
[00:13] <donnamartin> lol
[00:13] <donnamartin> maybe she planted the wrong one for steve, hoping he'd crash
[00:14] <BlackSugar> wait who is steve
[00:14] <donnamartin> shoudl the president be risking leaving his kid orphaned?
[00:14] <jalapeno> that's what I'm saying
[00:14] <donnamartin> steve is will smith
[00:14] <jalapeno> doubtful
[00:14] <BlackSugar> ah ok thx
[00:14] <@Ampersand> i've long wanted to die in space
[00:14] <BlackSugar> they should just keep flying into space, get into space adventures
[00:15] <BlackSugar> white people communicate like
[00:15] <BlackSugar> are there secret service guys flying jets next to him like if he were jogging?
[00:16] <BlackSugar> I bet gerard butler could fly a jet
[00:16] <besoinnick_jr> fly into its cloaca
[00:16] <BlackSugar> lol the aliens have analog control of their steering wheels
[00:16] <lhs> activate cloacaing device
[00:17] <besoinnick_jr> are they gonna make some sick beats on that sampling pad
[00:17] <donnamartin> not as good as channing tatum, bs
[00:17] <BlackSugar> hmm
[00:17] <BlackSugar> agree to disagree, and judge
[00:17] <Bob704> There were like twelve of them.
[00:18] <BlackSugar> if you do a white house down rewatch, I'll schedule that shit on my mfing outlook
[00:18] <@Ampersand> the aliens are so chill
[00:18] <@Ampersand> tight little dudes
[00:18] <BlackSugar> lol
[00:18] <besoinnick_jr> thank god they use tcp/ip
[00:18] <BlackSugar> the aliens in tim burton's invasion movie are so funny
[00:18] <BlackSugar> they're such dicks
[00:18] <jalapeno> UPLOADING VIRUS
[00:19] <jalapeno> Sir, he's uploading the virus.
[00:19] <besoinnick_jr> sir, it looks like they let their mcafee sub expire
[00:19] <donnamartin> shoudn't they ahve already done this?
[00:19] <jalapeno> The virus is in.
[00:19] <BlackSugar> aliens have received porn spambot NOW
[00:20] <besoinnick_jr> nice one, goldblum
[00:20] <lhs> winnuke them
[00:20] <besoinnick_jr> i mean, how hard is it to hit it
[00:20] <donnamartin> why would pullman assume it would work the second time
[00:20] <jalapeno> Boy, Steve is gonna be in a pickle getting out of there.
[00:21] <@Ampersand> pathetic
[00:21] <Bob704> "Fire at will!"
[00:21] <autarch> nuke them now jfc
[00:21] <Bob704> :immediately shoot down the President:
[00:21] <jalapeno> The movie needs to end with the president shooting down Steve confusing him with another alien spaceship
[00:21] <BlackSugar> I now remember randy gets like three big statements, starting with paybacks a b
[00:21] <donnamartin> why would goldblum not anticipate this?
[00:22] <besoinnick_jr> skipped his 9th year at mit
[00:22] <@Ampersand> bummer of a holiday
[00:22] <besoinnick_jr> agh, save the blonde people
[00:22] <@Ampersand> Steve-Steve
[00:23] <besoinnick_jr> how is this kid's adrenal cortex doing
[00:23] <autarch> srsly
[00:23] <donnamartin> oh that dopy kid
[00:23] <donnamartin> oh nooooooo
[00:23] <jalapeno> haha what
[00:23] <Trebbers> lolol
[00:23] <Bob704> Always settling for Brian.
[00:23] <besoinnick_jr> someone can't take a hint
[00:23] <lhs> take a hint, brian
[00:23] <@Ampersand> at least we'll die sad
[00:23] <BlackSugar> dude brian
[00:23] <autarch> srsly\
[00:23] <donnamartin> that was entirely worth cutting for theaters
[00:23] <autarch> dude what are you doing
[00:23] <autarch> she wants it, my man
[00:24] <BlackSugar> get the nut
[00:24] <jalapeno> disagree
[00:24] <autarch> careful, BS
[00:24] <BlackSugar> I know
[00:24] <BlackSugar> I'm drunk and lascivious
[00:24] <BlackSugar> I take it back
[00:24] <jalapeno> How many bowls we talkin' now?
[00:24] <besoinnick_jr> i like how he names his missiles
[00:25] <autarch> sorry man, but you can't put the toothepaste back in the tube.
[00:25] <BlackSugar> since the beginning I'm more than half thru a bottle of chivas, one dip, four bowls
[00:25] <donnamartin> oh man that's gonna hurt him in re-election
[00:25] <autarch> the day the US military runs out of missiles
[00:25] <jalapeno> IT'S ME, AUSTIN!
[00:25] <BlackSugar> heh
[00:25] <@Ampersand> Pilot Eddie
[00:26] <BlackSugar> so many folkisms
[00:26] <besoinnick_jr> there seems to be no risk associated with this
[00:26] <@Ampersand> my clamps
[00:26] <autarch> whoopsy
[00:26] <besoinnick_jr> flaky ass lockheed
[00:27] <BlackSugar> randy quaid line
[00:27] <autarch> tell my younger son and my daughter that i love them
[00:27] <BlackSugar> randy quaid line #2
[00:27] <@Ampersand> "kiss my kids inappropriately"
[00:27] <BlackSugar> randy quaid line #3
[00:27] <autarch> ahaha
[00:27] <Bob704> Back?
[00:27] <besoinnick_jr> that weapon was very fragile
[00:27] <jalapeno> he just flew up the alien's pee hole
[00:27] <@Ampersand> seems excessive but ok
[00:27] <besoinnick_jr> they had kidnapped him, bob
[00:27] <BlackSugar> he went bareback
[00:27] <donnamartin> he gave it a UTI
[00:27] <Bob704> Oh, right.
[00:28] <autarch> Hi back, this is the boys
[00:28] <jalapeno> hell yeah my dad is dead!
[00:28] <donnamartin> now a bunch of people die when the ship crashes
[00:28] <donnamartin> but he's still dead....
[00:28] <besoinnick_jr> "we'll pay for 80% of your brother's adrenal cortex medicine, with a $3K annual copay"
[00:28] <autarch> what about the other ships in other cities?
[00:29] <jalapeno> wouldn't that explosion have a global impact?
[00:29] <besoinnick_jr> like shooting them in the butthole wasn't obvious
[00:29] <BlackSugar> so... how do you bring them down?
[00:29] <donnamartin> i want a super cut of sons of bitches from action movies
[00:29] <Bob704> "But sir, we only have one more Quaid."
[00:29] <BlackSugar> do you need a russian goldblum with a diet coke can?
[00:29] <donnamartin> lol bob
[00:30] <jalapeno> still don't think his name is Steve
[00:30] <besoinnick_jr> that code was really clean
[00:30] == Bob704_ [webchat@u4bn.bn3y.zd9i.ip] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[00:31] <autarch> ahaaha
[00:31] <Trebbers> pwnd
[00:31] <@Ampersand> RUH HUH HUH
[00:31] <besoinnick_jr> wow, they gave that hangar manager alien the business
[00:31] <jalapeno> pew pew pew
[00:31] <@Ampersand> sku sku sku
[00:31] <Trebbers> Sad part that guy was covering for another alien
[00:32] <donnamartin> i really do love that sending the missle just shakes them loose
[00:32] == Bob704 [webchat@u4bn.bn3y.zd9i.ip] has quit [Ping timeout]
[00:32] <@Ampersand> awoooo
[00:32] <jalapeno> lol dumb aliens
[00:32] <autarch> thankyaverymuch
[00:32] == Bob704_ has changed nick to Bob704
[00:32] <@Ampersand> oh shit
[00:32] <@Ampersand> got em
[00:33] <autarch> wait
[00:33] <jalapeno> don't mess around with god's america
[00:33] <autarch> thry were in space?
[00:33] <jalapeno> oh man
[00:33] <donnamartin> oh god just cannot not be racist
[00:33] <@Ampersand> the aliens must be crazy
[00:33] <besoinnick_jr> just missed the pyramids
[00:33] <jalapeno> ONE MORE TERM! ONE MORE TERM!
[00:34] <besoinnick_jr> i'd probably still be sad about my wife
[00:34] <autarch> getting cheers from all 5 borough
[00:34] <autarch> s
[00:34] <@Ampersand> 2 Cool Dudes
[00:34] <besoinnick_jr> the SWAGGER
[00:35] <@Ampersand> hugs Goldblum
[00:35] <autarch> hitting those blunts
[00:35] <BlackSugar> queens manhattan bronx staten island brooklyn
[00:35] <donnamartin> i want vivica's outfit even now
[00:35] <besoinnick_jr> yeah, that's a good outfit
[00:35] <donnamartin> found time to comb his hair again
[00:35] <@Ampersand> not good, but...
[00:35] <BlackSugar> pres pullman thought he might be hittin that shit but dang its his wife
[00:36] <besoinnick_jr> from my pov, judd hirsch's prayers were the main factor in this victory
[00:36] <Bob704> Imagine all the toxic waste that must be wafting off that thing.
[00:36] <@Ampersand> "no, you promised ice cream"
[00:36] <lhs> boo to america
[00:36] <autarch> yeah the ecological effects will be huge
[00:36] <donnamartin> wait where are those coming from?
[00:36] <besoinnick_jr> the ships are 100% recycled fruitopia bottles
[00:36] <donnamartin> lol
[00:36] <autarch> ESPN font
[00:37] <besoinnick_jr> 8 minutes of iconic building modelers
[00:37] <jalapeno> this music is because space is there
[00:37] <@Ampersand> a concise, breezy motion picture
[00:37] == lhs [webchat@cloak-t2e0ov6k.hsd1.wa.comcast.net] has quit [Quit: Page closed]
[00:37] <donnamartin> yeah i mean to jumped right in
[00:37] <besoinnick_jr> we needed the 2.5 hours of air conditioning in the summer of 1996
[00:37] <autarch> god this was bad
[00:37] <donnamartin> incorrect
[00:38] <@Ampersand> well tomorrow is... SUMMER SCHOOL. because you failed
[00:38] <jalapeno> you must have missed the scene where she didn't wanna die a virgin
[00:38] <@Ampersand> so stay tuned
[00:38] <besoinnick_jr> excited for summer school
[00:38] <besoinnick_jr> though it WILL be problematic
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 06, 2020 4:10 pm

This Tuesday:
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:05 am

Ampersand wrote:This Tuesday:
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:26 pm

bump
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 7:34 pm

About an hour and a half to go!
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 8:44 pm

Tonight's Feature Presentation:
Zandalee

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https://webchat.quakenet.org/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 8:56 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight's Feature Presentation:
Zandalee

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https://webchat.quakenet.org/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:15 pm

VOTE!


or

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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 07, 2020 10:46 pm

Code: Select all
[22:13] <@Zamperlee> 3
[22:13] <@Zamperlee> 2
[22:13] <@Zamperlee> 1
[22:13] <impdentist> i've actually explained the plot of both of those to at least like half a dozen people irl
[22:13] <zandalhs> can everyone stop bragging about being invited to parties and having friends, please
[22:14] <Trebalee> Mookie Blaylock presents Zandalee
[22:14] <Bob511> The DVD rip I downloaded default to a Russian descriptive audio track, so that was weird.
[22:14] <@Zamperlee> when the name "Pilsbury" came on screen, kayke giggled like a tickled dough boy
[22:14] <besoin> can i get time? vlc is killing me
[22:14] <impdentist> buscemi and tomei, what a screen
[22:14] <dvr> 1 25
[22:14] <impdentist> and joey pants!!
[22:14] <Trebalee> Joey Pants gets AND
[22:14] <Bob511> This is a hell of a STV cast.
[22:14] <Trebalee> ?
[22:15] <besoin> can someone give me 2:00
[22:15] <dvr> 1 50
[22:15] <Trebalee> Corenblith
[22:15] <@Zamperlee> 2
[22:15] <autarch> love this music
[22:15] <besoin> thanks
[22:15] <dandalee> that was me on the trombone
[22:15] <besoin> the latest vlc is always losing audio and beach balling when i pause and try to move around
[22:15] <zandalhs> can you revert to an earlier version
[22:16] <impdentist> judge got co-producer? good for him!
[22:16] <besoin> we shall see
[22:16] <dandalee> the earlier versions are definitely around
[22:16] <autarch> idk what to expect with this movie
[22:16] <dandalee> or you can use MPC-HC
[22:16] <dvr> i'm watching this on half an 11.1" screen
[22:16] <autarch> don't remember the trailer (or if i even saw it)
[22:16] <Trebalee> This was a Judge Passion project, right?
[22:16] <dandalee> director of Free Willy 3
[22:16] <Trebalee> *passion
[22:16] <impdentist> oh yeah i forgot it was this kind of movie
[22:17] <zandalhs> all i remember is the limpest clothing and hyacinth
[22:17] <besoin> does zandalee rhyme with gratuity
[22:17] <kayke> how come it's called the french quarter and not like "little france" or "france town"
[22:17] <besoin> you ladies and your morning bed jumping
[22:17] <autarch> which one's zanda and which one's lee?
[22:17] <zandalhs> imdb keyworders gone wild
[22:18] <autarch> zcantalee clad
[22:18] <@Zamperlee> lol
[22:18] <Trebalee> ah
[22:18] <zandalhs> heh
[22:18] <dandalee> well done autarch
[22:19] <besoin> this actress was in the soap-within-a-soap segments on twin peaks
[22:20] <besoin> "invitation to love"
[22:20] <impdentist> oh mannnnn
[22:20] <Trebalee> Never seen garbage men in such a hurry
[22:20] <kayke> he works in garbage prison
[22:20] <autarch> "SMACK HIS BALLS! SMACK HIS BALLS! "
[22:21] <Trebalee> I remember the sleaze, but not the density of it
[22:21] <Bob511> Going to be so many little car accidents on the way home from this party.
[22:21] <zandalhs> heh
[22:21] <dvr> lol
[22:21] <dandalee> lol bob
[22:21] <kayke> is this dr who?
[22:21] <besoin> reinhold & cage
[22:21] <zandalhs> just zero attempt to blend in his weave
[22:21] <dandalee> 3 more weeks and my hair will be Cage length
[22:23] <besoin> this director directed dave matthews in a remake of where the red fern grows
[22:23] <zandalhs> darth vader helmet hair
[22:23] <dandalee> and a made for TV movie of Knight Rider set in the future
[22:23] <besoin> i've seen that
[22:23] <besoin> it was filmed in san antonio
[22:23] <Trebalee> yeah
[22:24] <Trebalee> Knight Rider 2000?
[22:24] <dandalee> this is proto-pickup artist style
[22:24] <autarch> is this the guy from whose line is it anyway?
[22:24] <besoin> i guess it's 2000 i've seen. this guy did 2010.
[22:25] <besoin> i have no idea what's happening in this movie
[22:25] <dvr> did they just randomly run into each other at a shriner party?
[22:25] <impdentist> the judge!
[22:26] <zandalhs> i guess it was a mutual friend's bachelor party
[22:26] <dvr> ah
[22:26] <impdentist> damnit
[22:26] <Trebalee> ...
[22:26] <autarch> wiah
[22:26] <besoin> boooo
[22:26] <@Zamperlee> oofa
[22:26] <autarch> up the devil's ass
[22:26] <dandalee> the devil's face is inside of his own ass?
[22:26] <zandalhs> field trip to straight up the devil's ass
[22:27] <Trebalee> ah
[22:27] <autarch> woow
[22:27] <dandalee> is he still talking about the devil?
[22:27] <autarch> the devil's ass is a rock formation that he's talking about climbing
[22:28] <Trebalee> Go straight up Judge's ass to paint his face
[22:29] <@Zamperlee> great pit
[22:29] <impdentist> IMDb keywords: armpit
[22:30] <zandalhs> this is making me want to replay gabriel knight
[22:30] <impdentist> oh all right
[22:30] <autarch> this movie is going to be like an american ryan's babe
[22:30] <besoin> it could use a road trip
[22:31] <impdentist> i was just right in front of that church six months ago!
[22:31] <impdentist> they were filming a movie then too but it wasn't this
[22:31] <Trebalee> what is that old lady wearing
[22:31] <zandalhs> how is it possible to make clothes with zero seams
[22:31] <dandalee> Joey P you cad!
[22:32] <impdentist> that's two sopranos antagonists so far huh
[22:32] <zandalhs> insane use of a fan brush imo
[22:32] <impdentist> why wear the cardigan if that's what the painting is going to look like
[22:32] <kayke> for a second I thought the couch was his shoulder
[22:33] <kayke> and he was in a giant suit
[22:33] <dandalee> little cookie?
[22:33] <Trebalee> heah
[22:33] <zandalhs> i love your mom's cookies
[22:33] <autarch> wait
[22:33] <autarch> is that nic cage?
[22:33] <autarch> holy shit
[22:33] <autarch> that's nic cage isn't it
[22:33] <kayke> omg autarch
[22:33] <besoin> just occurred to me that nic and judge were in fast times together
[22:34] <zandalhs> you finally got one right
[22:34] <Trebalee> Achievement Unlocked
[22:34] <autarch> lol
[22:34] <autarch> shut up
[22:34] <@Zamperlee> shiiiiit
[22:34] <dandalee> 11 gripping pages of poetry
[22:34] <Bob511> "Who are you to...oh."
[22:34] <impdentist> how did judge reinhold become a leading man when he looks so goofy
[22:35] <zandalhs> it was back when flat butts were in
[22:35] <impdentist> ah true
[22:35] <besoin> we should have watched ruthless people
[22:35] <kayke> his ears move when he breathes
[22:36] <impdentist> enter nic cage dressed as a priest
[22:36] <dvr> is that marissa tomei?
[22:36] <besoin> where?
[22:36] <dvr> the main actress
[22:36] <besoin> wtf
[22:36] <dvr> heh
[22:36] <zandalhs> you need a bigger screen, dvr
[22:37] <besoin> what is this company? the power company? what?
[22:37] <dandalee> a newpaper about radios I'm assuming
[22:37] <zandalhs> mardi gras corporate hq
[22:38] <besoin> i'm starting to think this movie covers its weaknesses with gratuitous nudity
[22:38] <impdentist> what party is this
[22:39] <Trebalee> I think its just some random bar
[22:39] <Trebalee> Just Nalins baby
[22:39] <kayke> "check your dog collar"???
[22:39] <dvr> yeah what did he say?
[22:39] <Trebalee> "Donor card"
[22:39] <dandalee> thought he said donut card at first
[22:39] <dandalee> I have a fan on so expect a lot of that tonight
[22:40] <zandalhs> if you buy 12 donuts, you get a smooch for free
[22:40] <besoin> "jurdge"
[22:40] <dandalee> Judge about to bang the gavel
[22:40] <autarch> whenever i'm around you
[22:41] <Trebalee> Here comes the Judge
[22:41] <Trebalee> don't need this
[22:41] <autarch> you mean like magellan?
[22:41] <besoin> he looks like larry bird's stunt double
[22:41] <dvr> he didn't have his donut card, i guess
[22:42] <Trebalee> French Lick Nights
[22:42] <impdentist> a paraplegic of the dick
[22:42] <@Zamperlee> HOW DARE YOU
[22:42] <besoin> they didn't know about going down on women in 91
[22:42] <dandalee> she's thinking about Buschemi
[22:42] <autarch> glad im not watching this one in starbucks
[22:42] <@Zamperlee> lol
[22:42] <kayke> take your little ass out on the balcony
[22:43] <Trebalee> Got Hank Hill ass
[22:43] <dandalee> my hair is amost like Cage, and my posture is amost like Reinhold
[22:43] <besoin> just think, this is AFTER judge got in shape for the movie
[22:43] <dandalee> been a rough couple months
[22:43] <kayke> time to die
[22:44] <besoin> now that we've established she's into risky behavior, she can sleep with nic and get the movie over with
[22:44] <dvr> or buschemi
[22:44] <impdentist> lolol
[22:45] <autarch> i can't believe nic looks like this
[22:45] <impdentist> zonneley
[22:45] <dandalee> Steve Zahndalee
[22:45] <autarch> im gonna do that "the black rose of fate" and point at my arm thing, even though i don't have a tatttoo
[22:45] <autarch> gregg zaundalee
[22:46] <zandalhs> get a temporary one
[22:46] <impdentist> dunno about this music
[22:46] <besoin> i don't know about any of this
[22:47] <besoin> robert wagner really let himself go
[22:48] <dandalee> should have gotten John Candy as Dean Andrews for that scene
[22:48] <dvr> ricketty cricket?
[22:48] <besoin> got dat elaine benes
[22:49] <@Zamperlee> sockaleg
[22:49] <autarch> nic looks like he's almost ready to start singing Mr. Jones
[22:49] <zandalhs> "don't say my name wrong"
[22:49] <besoin> is this the least sexy film ever made
[22:49] <autarch> we've seen less sexy
[22:49] <dandalee> they haven't even gotten to the swamp yet, please wait
[22:49] <autarch> maxwell bright
[22:50] <impdentist> hooking up was much less sexy
[22:50] <autarch> hooking up, yes.
[22:50] <dandalee> and Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
[22:50] <autarch> dolittle was sexier though
[22:50] <dandalee> the trifecta of toxic masulinity
[22:50] <dvr> that dragon scene
[22:50] <@Zamperlee> ruttin
[22:51] <zandalhs> is this more or less sexy than showgirls
[22:51] <@Zamperlee> at least he tied his hair back
[22:51] <@Zamperlee> wait, did he not?
[22:51] <@Zamperlee> evil
[22:51] <Trebalee> Fuck right off with this music
[22:52] <autarch> he looks like a fucking alt-right youtube personality
[22:52] <autarch> the music is solid, trebs
[22:52] <Trebalee> Skinny Jonathan Davis
[22:52] <dandalee> its the exact same facial hair as David Aunuri, right?
[22:53] <zandalhs> i was afk, why did she get her face painted at a renfaire
[22:53] <besoin> i have knees...two
[22:53] <dvr> heh
[22:54] <kayke> lol besoin
[22:54] <kayke> pick a car
[22:54] <besoin> finally, aaron neville
[22:54] <@Zamperlee> why isn't the movie about the bartender
[22:54] <dandalee> next he's gonna make his priest collar fall into his drink on the count of 3
[22:55] <zandalhs> aaron neville IS corey feldman
[22:56] <impdentist> oh there she is
[22:56] <dandalee> Reinhold would make a good Lyman if they ever decide to do another Garfield movie
[22:56] <impdentist> oh and mr pitt
[22:56] <kayke> wait he's cheating on marissa tomei?!
[22:56] <besoin> poor marisa
[22:56] <dandalee> https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/garfield/images/2/23/LymanCharacter.jpg/revision/latest/top-crop/width/720/height/900?cb=20180424015328
[22:57] <Bob511> Ha
[22:57] <@Zamperlee> okay but Lyman fucks tho
[22:59] <autarch> ok, i'm imagining
[22:59] <dandalee> what is happening
[22:59] <autarch> idk
[22:59] <autarch> this movie is impossible
[22:59] <@Zamperlee> i know you want.... pie
[22:59] <autarch> WHAT
[22:59] <autarch> did he just say what i think he said?
[22:59] <autarch> welp
[22:59] <besoin> :(
[23:00] <dandalee> just to make sure they said what you thought they said, they said it 3 times
[23:00] <autarch> let's see what music they went with this time
[23:00] <autarch> oh
[23:00] <dandalee> he kills bones?
[23:00] <impdentist> "the washer!"
[23:01] <dvr> heh
[23:03] <dvr> nice morning to run in traffic
[23:03] <Trebalee> walked away, who was fucking who a few minutes ago
[23:03] <@Zamperlee> surprised she couldn't smell him in advance
[23:03] <zandalhs> these two again
[23:03] <impdentist> nic
[23:03] <besoin> :[
[23:03] <Trebalee> what a line
[23:03] <@Zamperlee> he was a poet, she's zandalee. can i make it any more obvious?
[23:04] <besoin> he must have to tie his towel really tight
[23:04] <impdentist> i thought that was gary oldman in tiptoes coming through the door
[23:04] <@Zamperlee> lmao
[23:04] <dandalee> lol
[23:05] <@Zamperlee> are you erotically thrilled yet?
[23:05] <autarch> this movie is so big on boning
[23:05] <impdentist> it's really all it has going for it
[23:05] <dandalee> it's a big-boned film, you're saying?
[23:06] <dvr> it's got the hustlin garbagemen too
[23:06] <impdentist> that's true
[23:06] <impdentist> it has a massively underutilized supporting cast
[23:06] <autarch> imagine saying what he just said
[23:06] <zandalhs> i had forgotten about all the banging tbh
[23:06] <dandalee> "this is pixie stix"
[23:06] <besoin> is he giving her a cocaine and olive oil massage
[23:07] <kayke> artisanal olive oils are getting wild
[23:07] <Trebalee> the alter of the primal
[23:07] <Trebalee> altar*
[23:07] <autarch> "when we are boning, I feel us soaring through the universe, through the cosmos"
[23:07] <dandalee> I'll put cocaine up the devil's ass
[23:07] <besoin> she's always dressed like the downstairs help on downton abbey
[23:07] <kayke> lol
[23:08] <Trebalee> Man, when your wife comes home reeking of EVOO and cocaine
[23:08] <zandalhs> heh
[23:08] <besoin> maybe take the stool inside
[23:08] <zandalhs> that is a nice slip
[23:09] <dandalee> Pantaliano almost looking like Paul Simon in this
[23:10] <kayke> does he work there or is he just their only customer who keeps them afloat buying one dress a day
[23:10] <besoin> is it...the phone company?
[23:10] <autarch> how can you cheat on marisa tomei
[23:11] <@Zamperlee> i couldn't eat a peach
[23:11] <zandalhs> southern commfort
[23:11] <Trebalee> I could share a peach all day
[23:11] <besoin> what does he do there?
[23:11] <zandalhs> he doesn't answer the phone, i can tell you that
[23:12] <autarch> peaches are so juicy
[23:12] <autarch> to eat one without a napkin is ridiculous
[23:13] <zandalhs> this is my artistic process too
[23:13] <autarch> her bedroom is a warehouse?
[23:13] <autarch> jfc, shut up dude.
[23:13] <zandalhs> that's nic's studio
[23:13] <dandalee> that was a common thing in a lot of 90s movies
[23:13] <autarch> like, you wanna know why your wife is cheating on you? it's cuz you won't shut up.
[23:14] <autarch> come on let's give jesus a show
[23:14] <autarch> let's give him something to talk about
[23:15] <Trebalee> ahahhahah
[23:15] <impdentist> he's got lines for days huh
[23:15] <dandalee> yes, the real church of cocaine and body oil
[23:15] <besoin> this music
[23:15] <Bob511> I mean, a convenient place for adultery.
[23:15] <autarch> lol
[23:15] <dandalee> lol
[23:15] <autarch> forgive me father for i have zinned
[23:15] <dvr> heh
[23:16] <besoin> "that's the wrong way!"
[23:16] <impdentist> "that's a one-way street!"
[23:16] <impdentist> ah
[23:16] <dandalee> Judge was thinking about Lil Xan
[23:16] <kayke> she's kind of got aeris vibes
[23:16] <dandalee> lol
[23:17] <besoin> finally a good scene
[23:17] <besoin> if only the scrabble tiles were in focus
[23:17] <dandalee> this US remake of Amour is so weird
[23:17] <kayke> taking his wine to the bathroom
[23:18] <@Zamperlee> tiny rocker
[23:19] <@Zamperlee> "let's be elderly"
[23:19] <@Zamperlee> all i know is that i don't know nothin
[23:19] <zandalhs> drape culture
[23:21] <@Zamperlee> no clean here, ma'am
[23:22] <dvr> his bed is painted?
[23:22] <besoin> zach galligan cameo
[23:22] <autarch> the fact that his name is Johnny is very Wiseau-esque
[23:23] <besoin> nic doesn't strike me as the blazer type
[23:25] <Trebalee> Bonkers
[23:25] <dvr> never work for Comcast
[23:25] <dandalee> did Judge just tell Cage to go pound Zand?
[23:26] <impdentist> not bad
[23:26] <zandalhs> here's a roadtrip
[23:26] <autarch> there's gonna be a death here isn't there
[23:26] <besoin> an amernican tragedy
[23:26] <dvr> the alligator scene
[23:26] <autarch> actually no
[23:27] <autarch> the characters aren't on good enough terms for anyone to die
[23:27] <Bob511> A telegraph man in a telephone world.
[23:27] <besoin> for someone who runs a boutique she sure hates clothes
[23:27] <autarch> is this a shitflix record for nudity?
[23:27] <zandalhs> when clothes are work, you need some time off
[23:28] <dvr> lol
[23:28] <autarch> lol
[23:28] <besoin> why is he wearing a suit!
[23:28] <dandalee> Beethoven was nude for the entire runtime of Beethoven
[23:28] <@Zamperlee> Judge runs down a beach towards Mooch
[23:28] <autarch> lol dan
[23:28] <dvr> here's the alligator scene
[23:28] <zandalhs> is this more or less sexy than swept away
[23:29] <besoin> it's less sexy than flushed away
[23:29] <zandalhs> i haven't seen that
[23:29] <impdentist> uh oh
[23:30] <autarch> wikipedia says this is an erotic thriller
[23:30] <kayke> judge kind of looks like the flushed away mouse
[23:30] <autarch> lol kayke
[23:30] <kayke> https://raisingchildren.net.au/__data/assets/image/0014/51503/flushed-away.jpg
[23:30] <dandalee> here we go
[23:30] <besoin> only 80 mins in
[23:30] <impdentist> yeah someone is definitely about to die
[23:30] <autarch> wtf
[23:31] <autarch> we still have over 20 mins left?
[23:31] <zandalhs> henry ford's legacy lives on
[23:31] <dandalee> why is the picture of the Flushed Away mouse on "raisingchildren.net"
[23:31] <autarch> what is this music?
[23:31] <autarch> this is beautiful music
[23:31] <besoin> i believe it's zydeco
[23:31] <autarch> never listened to zydeco. i love it.
[23:31] <kayke> raisingarazona.net
[23:31] <besoin> did someone have zandalee here as their av?
[23:32] <zandalhs> raising children to be shitflick quippers
[23:32] <impdentist> i think you're thinking of spix and it was will graham
[23:32] <dandalee> basically the same scene
[23:32] <Trebalee> gif
[23:32] <besoin> no, imp
[23:33] <impdentist> uh oh, sinister zydeco
[23:33] <@Zamperlee> let us fish
[23:33] <besoin> i went on a boat ride in these swamps once
[23:33] <besoin> it was super cool
[23:33] <dvr> Old Swamp Medicine Show
[23:34] <besoin> audience surrogate
[23:34] <autarch> why are they all together?
[23:34] <autarch> why is any of this happening?
[23:34] <besoin> how were these two ever friends
[23:35] <dvr> oh shit, the croc is coming
[23:35] <autarch> gator time
[23:35] <zandalhs> rest in peat
[23:35] <autarch> nic
[23:35] <besoin> >:|
[23:36] <besoin> can he not swim or what?
[23:36] <impdentist> ah come on
[23:36] <zandalhs> it's his naptime
[23:36] <dandalee> only good characters are the parents and Buschemi and Pantaliano
[23:36] <autarch> dude. use your boat.
[23:36] <Bob511> Now's the boat's chance.
[23:36] <dandalee> and that one bartender
[23:36] <impdentist> "god dammit now i gotta save both of you and fuck you in front of your husband that i also just saved"
[23:36] <besoin> the movie camera could get away in the boat
[23:36] <kayke> could they all stand this whole time
[23:36] <autarch> he's gonna fuck her there
[23:36] <impdentist> just stand up!
[23:37] <dandalee> they need to get out of here or they'll be covered in Zandaleeches
[23:37] <impdentist> oh!
[23:37] <besoin> tyson'd him
[23:37] <Bob511> Haha
[23:37] <autarch> whaat
[23:37] <kayke> lol
[23:37] <kayke> whyyyyy
[23:37] <impdentist> oh that's gonna get infected
[23:37] <impdentist> wowwwwwww
[23:37] <dvr> look at what Big Internet did to their friendship
[23:37] <Trebalee> what the hell
[23:37] <impdentist> steve!
[23:37] <@Zamperlee> "hey what happened?
[23:37] <besoin> finally steve buscemi to make sense of this
[23:38] <kayke> her next boyfriend arrives
[23:38] <autarch> i can't fucking believe that this is buscemi's role
[23:38] <zandalhs> he's probably the better option
[23:38] <Bob511> His name was Thierry?
[23:38] <Trebalee> "I did too"
[23:38] <dandalee> Thierry of a Deadman
[23:38] <besoin> i'm trying to laugh, dan
[23:39] <@Zamperlee> "like a great poet R. L. Stine once wrote..."
[23:39] <dandalee> too sad?
[23:39] <besoin> yeah, this is heavy stuff
[23:39] <zandalhs> why hasn't anyone made a synthwave fan video using clips from this movie
[23:39] <@Zamperlee> finalee, his masterpiece
[23:41] <dandalee> he had a job?
[23:41] <besoin> i think aaron neville wrote everybody plays the fool after participating in this movie
[23:41] <Trebalee> It's a cable company
[23:41] <Trebalee> ?
[23:41] <autarch> what is this movie
[23:42] <dandalee> I don't know, but I want to watch the movie that the writer of this directed
[23:42] <autarch> "so get the fuck outta here"!
[23:42] <dandalee> https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160434/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_3
[23:42] <autarch> yeah the writing on this is insane
[23:42] <impdentist> i think nic only accepts movies where he gets to yell things like that
[23:42] <dandalee> "A woman rents her bungalow to a man who loves cooking, but according to her distorted mind he uses his knives more than he should. "
[23:42] <autarch> flinging poo
[23:43] <impdentist> oh
[23:43] <Trebalee> ahahhaha
[23:43] <besoin> he's going to found american apparel in the epilogue
[23:43] <Trebalee> forgot this
[23:43] <@Zamperlee> lol besoin
[23:43] <kayke> peanut butter baby
[23:43] <autarch> me when i crap my  panats at work
[23:43] <Trebalee> About to get cancelled
[23:43] <impdentist> they took this off of hulu
[23:43] <@Zamperlee> lol autarch
[23:43] <besoin> jogger's emergency
[23:44] <impdentist> he got cleaned up fast
[23:44] <@Zamperlee> he sweats turpentine
[23:45] <impdentist> what
[23:45] <kayke> when you're covered in olive oil cocaine the paint can't stick
[23:45] <besoin> her skin smells like toast
[23:45] <dandalee> I think he might be having a stroke
[23:45] <besoin> eyes rolling outta my god danged head
[23:45] <autarch> "you smell like a roll of nickels"
[23:46] <zandalhs> steve is hiding behind the shirts
[23:46] <Trebalee> "Wear this sweater and slacks"
[23:47] <@Zamperlee> lol
[23:47] <zandalhs> the biggest shirt
[23:47] <besoin> one bad actress on top of another's shoulders
[23:47] <zandalhs> god, imagine tucking that into some pleated slacks
[23:48] <Trebalee> Oh yeah he owes money
[23:48] <dandalee> it's like the professional version of those giant Scarface tees they sell at the shore
[23:48] <@Zamperlee> murdered by borat
[23:48] <dandalee> wait what
[23:48] <Trebalee> nice
[23:48] <besoin> what a horrible shot
[23:48] <autarch> what
[23:49] <Trebalee> so dumb
[23:49] <Bob511> Must be a helluva bar tab.
[23:49] <@Zamperlee> zandeadlee
[23:49] <dvr> typical erotic thriller
[23:49] <kayke> she died as she lived, in the baggiest outfit possible
[23:49] <autarch> was that paul f tompkins?
[23:49] <impdentist> qui gon jinn on the scene
[23:49] <besoin> trying to shake the bullets outta her
[23:49] <zandalhs> america's next top model level of weave
[23:49] <kayke> dr patch adams on the scene
[23:49] <@Zamperlee> lol
[23:50] <impdentist> what city is this again
[23:50] <dandalee> he played a vampire, now time to play a Frankenstein
[23:50] <@Zamperlee> beautiful
[23:50] <Trebalee> OPP Man
[23:50] <Trebalee> You know Steve
[23:50] <@Zamperlee> blast one out for Rog
[23:50] <impdentist> well this was a shame
[23:50] <autarch> honestly, a  hooking up-like ending
[23:50] <dandalee> Rog? wasn't that a character from The Croods?
[23:50] <@Zamperlee> lol
[23:50] <dandalee> Pud Cusack
[23:50] <Trebalee> PUD CUSACK
[23:51] <autarch> the 3rd cusack sibling
[23:51] <zandalhs> short for pudding
[23:51] <autarch> bob wantimbee
[23:51] <autarch> I wantimbee better at music
[23:51] <Bob511> "Pud, you've got that thing in frame again."
[23:51] <@Zamperlee> lol lhs
[23:51] <besoin> pud would be the fourth
[23:51] <besoin> ann is the third
[23:51] <autarch> Loney Landry
[23:51] <Trebalee> TUTT
[23:51] <dandalee> Loney Landry
[23:51] <autarch> TUTT
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:54 am

vote in the poll if you haven't yet!
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:59 pm

This Tuesday:
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:59 pm

This Tuesday:
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 10:55 am

bump!
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 4:45 pm

Cyber bump!
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 7:46 pm

About an hour until our seduction!
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:40 pm

Tonight's Feature Presentation:
Cyber Seduction

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https://webchat.quakenet.org/
Channel: #HPNMOVIESERIES
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:54 pm

Ampersand wrote:Tonight's Feature Presentation:
Cyber Seduction

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Postby jalapeño ranch » Tue Jul 14, 2020 9:41 pm

Reminder to find this song after the movie is over.

Celiac Cruz wrote:This one has no real explanation:
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 14, 2020 10:36 pm

partial chat:

Code: Select all
[22:22] <His_Secret_Treb> dan
[22:22] <lhs> watching wild things
[22:22] <kayke> he's the secret service for porn
[22:22] <cybersedonna> i've never understood group porn watching
[22:22] <besoin> they're watching me having eaten too much pasta
[22:22] <oh_its_max> me and my friends never did this
[22:22] <jalaporno_ranch> classic search
[22:22] <impdentist> hot lava
[22:22] <impdentist> hot girl
[22:22] <lhs> snoopEZ
[22:22] <autarch> what would come up
[22:22] <impdentist> naked girl
[22:22] <autarch> holy shit
[22:22] <autarch> whatttt
[22:22] <dan2> the hottest 144p contest you can find
[22:22] <jalaporno_ranch> is this the first time these people have seen porn?
[22:22] <His_Secret_Treb> 144p striht to yr boner
[22:22] <@Ampersanduction> "hey dude type 'eels in butthole' just to see what comes up"
[22:22] <dvr> lol
[22:23] <autarch> dude is that really what happens when you type in nakud collage babas?
[22:23] <dvr> "here everyone take a stick of gum"
[22:23] <@Ampersanduction> any beer?
[22:23] <jalaporno_ranch> these parents are really trying to catch people whacking off
[22:23] <besoin> doug flutie cfl highlights
[22:23] <His_Secret_Treb> "This 60 year old game makes me so hard"
[22:23] <lhs> smells like a blooming pear tree in here
[22:24] <impdentist> this is such a bold party move
[22:24] <impdentist> all of it
[22:24] <cybersedonna> oh boy
[22:24] <besoin> fucking? well
[22:24] <autarch> they talk about sex a lot
[22:24] <His_Secret_Treb> what a weird convo for people not fucking
[22:24] <cybersedonna> is this ADR?
[22:24] <jalaporno_ranch> Stroke Man never Bone Manned?
[22:24] <cybersedonna> never say make love again
[22:25] <besoin> it's always magical the first time
[22:25] <Boob5-11> Awkward dialogue recording.
[22:25] <oh_its_max> lol
[22:25] <cybersedonna> lol
[22:25] <cybersedonna> this kids room is huge
[22:25] <dvr> forums.hipinion.com
[22:25] <impdentist> are they chatting about hayden christiansen
[22:25] <@Ampersanduction> @bigbreastedchicken
[22:25] <dan2> *eyes bug out of head*
[22:25] <jalaporno_ranch> dude where'd you go last night? check out Big Breasted Women Dot Com!
[22:25] <cybersedonna> this is amazing
[22:25] <besoin> gotta turn off the auto play .au files
[22:25] <His_Secret_Treb> Lots of metals for a not central American dictator
[22:26] <dvr> that's why they call him Stroke Man man
[22:26] <cybersedonna> damn 2005 keyboards
[22:26] <besoin> maybe type a little quieter, genius
[22:26] <dan2> "You better not be stroking in there, young man"
[22:26] <oh_its_max> are you up late doing homework AGAIN
[22:26] <cybersedonna> does this kid never close his door?
[22:26] <His_Secret_Treb> *clack clack* *whack whack*
[22:26] <cybersedonna> lol
[22:26] <kayke> if I had a teenage kid I would never even look in the direction of their room
[22:26] <cybersedonna> ahahahahaha
[22:26] <dan2> sound the alarms
[22:26] <autarch> omfg
[22:26] <oh_its_max> hahah
[22:26] <besoin> i guess he could be watching road house
[22:26] <oh_its_max> classic dad response..
[22:26] <autarch> right NOW?
[22:27] <jalaporno_ranch> Cuck Mom
[22:27] <His_Secret_Treb> "Our boy's cock was out and it was...average"
[22:27] <kayke> have you talked to your child about big boobs lately?
[22:27] <cybersedonna> dialgoue A+
[22:27] <cybersedonna> i'ts 8pm. is your kid looking at porn?
[22:27] <jalaporno_ranch> You see, because stroke refers to swimming
[22:27] <impdentist> 2:11 am... heading back to the computer for more porn...
[22:27] <His_Secret_Treb> Always try to get your kids into medium boobs
[22:27] <autarch> stroke man
[22:27] <cybersedonna> tone sincere: did hs boys just share porn links with their swim teammates in 2005?
[22:28] <jalaporno_ranch> stroke man swims like a joke, man
[22:28] <cybersedonna> just spent, hon
[22:28] <Boob5-11> A little extra...drag.
[22:28] <@Ampersanduction> "i just feel like my essence has been drained from me"
[22:28] <cybersedonna> oh my god
[22:28] <oh_its_max> hah
[22:28] <@Ampersanduction> booooooobs
[22:28] <impdentist> he's swimming in circles out there from his arms being mismatched
[22:28] <lhs> without porn, he never would have noticed boobs
[22:28] <His_Secret_Treb> what in the world
[22:28] <besoin> was gonna say, you don't need internet porn to lose your mind like this
[22:28] <jalaporno_ranch> LEGS
[22:28] <His_Secret_Treb> kaffca
[22:28] <jalaporno_ranch> STOMACH
[22:29] <autarch> i can tell you than in 2007, hs boys discussed the pros and cons of watching porn videos as opposed to jpegs with their cross country teammates
[22:29] <His_Secret_Treb> BELLY BUTTON SPRUNg
[22:29] <cybersedonna> you know boys don't notice legs or boobs without porn
[22:29] <jalaporno_ranch> okay this editing is good now
[22:29] <impdentist> this is a pro-dress code movie
[22:29] <His_Secret_Treb> Asses everywhere
[22:29] <kayke> he downloaded a male gaze virus 
[22:29] <His_Secret_Treb> surfing
[22:29] <cybersedonna> ahahahahah
[22:29] <dan2> "I mean I love The Asshole...I MEAN The Castle"
[22:29] <lhs> heh
[22:29] <jalaporno_ranch> this mom doesn't  know how to clear browsing history in 2005?
[22:30] <impdentist> i love when they put scenes in like this to make sure all the adults know the plot elements
[22:30] <His_Secret_Treb> This lady probably has a really perverted kid
[22:30] <besoin> swishfoot
[22:30] <dan2> Squishfoot
[22:30] <dvr> of course it's a christian band
[22:30] <cybersedonna> my mom is still confused attaching pictures to text messages
[22:30] <oh_its_max> swish swish foot
[22:30] <lhs> green '
[22:30] <His_Secret_Treb> Is this sped up
[22:30] <jalaporno_ranch> are we sure this wasn't made in 1997?
[22:30] <cybersedonna> oh man i love a guy telling women what' good music is
[22:30] <besoin> no way this lady married this guy
[22:30] <His_Secret_Treb> Dads outfit
[22:31] <autarch> this was the year american idiot came out
[22:31] <kayke> pegging
[22:31] <@Ampersanduction> this is porn
[22:31] <His_Secret_Treb> violate my kakis
[22:31] <kayke> preach
[22:31] <jalaporno_ranch> time for the talk yesssssss
[22:31] <besoin> al bundy cosplay
[22:32] <cybersedonna> lol
[22:32] <His_Secret_Treb> Hal Rundy
[22:32] <cybersedonna> damn kids and their rock n roll
[22:32] <dan2> "Alright son, I've heard you know where to find pictures of big boobs. Spill the beans"
[22:32] <kayke> lol
[22:32] <lhs> "son, did you know there are sites where you can see more than just the top 1/4 of a boob?"
[22:32] <besoin> what about animated gifs
[22:32] <cybersedonna> we went into the woods looking for porn
[22:32] <His_Secret_Treb> "Son, smells like a linden tree in here"
[22:32] <jalaporno_ranch> under the bed where nobody will find it
[22:33] <cybersedonna> don't....no
[22:33] <@Ampersanduction> "i'm still beautiful too"
[22:33] <oh_its_max> ok dad thanks
[22:33] <dan2> why's dad still wearing the tie at home
[22:33] <besoin> how many basketball hoops does he need
[22:33] <jalaporno_ranch> this is the worst father son talk I've ever seen
[22:33] <His_Secret_Treb> his belt line is...odd
[22:33] <impdentist> "women, am i right, son"
[22:33] <cybersedonna> good job dad
[22:33] <cybersedonna> well done
[22:33] <His_Secret_Treb> love this dad
[22:34] <cybersedonna> lol come
[22:34] <autarch> yeah
[22:34] <autarch> dad rules
[22:34] <His_Secret_Treb> Moveon.cum
[22:34] <besoin> yeah, he'll move on. yep.
[22:34] <cybersedonna> i wanna talk about his line delivery
[22:34] <dvr> haha...
[22:34] <jalaporno_ranch> seems like the plot of this movie is resolved
[22:34] <lhs> hope this mom never takes her kid to an art museum or something
[22:34] <autarch> dad sounds like me in one of the old nut threads
[22:34] <impdentist> that is a loud computer
[22:35] <jalaporno_ranch> OH NO
[22:35] <His_Secret_Treb> Can't sleep boob are on the internet, unviewed
[22:35] <besoin> he needs to google how to masturbate. could take some of the edge off of this addiction.
[22:35] <cybersedonna> yeah impressionists are obsessed with nake women in fields
[22:35] <autarch> stylu
[22:35] <autarch> s
[22:35] <His_Secret_Treb> hell yeah restraint
[22:35] <dvr> lol....
[22:35] <besoin> using his palm pilot, huh uh
[22:35] <oh_its_max> GOOD STUFF
[22:35] <dan2> good stuff
[22:35] <His_Secret_Treb> hahaha
[22:35] <cybersedonna> oh amy, don't fall for that
[22:35] <His_Secret_Treb> SWIMMING
[22:36] <jalaporno_ranch> lol
[22:36] <impdentist> oh my god
[22:36] <oh_its_max> wait
[22:36] <impdentist> pinkin lark
[22:36] <@Ampersanduction> lol
[22:36] <cybersedonna> the third rate 2004 linkin park
[22:36] <dvr> it's Linkin Field
[22:36] <His_Secret_Treb> YOU LOST CONTROOOOOOOL
[22:36] <dan2> tells her he's playing Snood, when he's really sending Noods
[22:36] <jalaporno_ranch> oh my god, this song
[22:36] <oh_its_max> this movie is amazing for these songs
[22:36] <cybersedonna> oh man is downing code red?
[22:36] <@Ampersanduction> burning trailers to disc
[22:36] <His_Secret_Treb> Burn this disk of porn, playa
[22:36] <besoin> this kid is more problematic than the older brother
[22:36] <cybersedonna> ahahahhaha
[22:36] <oh_its_max> hahahah
[22:37] <dvr> uh oh
[22:37] <kayke> lemmee see!
[22:37] <@Ampersanduction> this is too real
[22:37] <besoin> "bonzi buddy, cease!"
[22:37] <His_Secret_Treb> WHATS THAT
[22:37] <cybersedonna> oh no he's dragging his brother down with him
[22:37] <lhs> "lemme see that sears catalog"
[22:37] <jalaporno_ranch> why is the soundtrack page on IMDB not filled out?!
[22:37] <autarch> perfect sound track for this scene
[22:37] <dvr> haha yeah
[22:37] <oh_its_max> yeah really takes me there
[22:37] <besoin> is he going to cry
[22:37] <cybersedonna> gotta jerk off bro style before dinner
[22:37] <impdentist> omg
[22:37] <oh_its_max> LMAO
[22:37] <Boob5-11> Aha
[22:37] <His_Secret_Treb> ahdhh
[22:37] <cybersedonna> oh no
[22:37] <autarch> thousand yard stare
[22:37] <dvr> haha
[22:37] <kayke> scarred for life
[22:37] <cybersedonna> milk with spaghetti?
[22:37] <@Ampersanduction> a salad of greens alone
[22:37] <His_Secret_Treb> Milk with everything
[22:38] <oh_its_max> i have seen too much
[22:38] <autarch> this mom stiiiinks
[22:38] <lhs> am i supposed to believe that the little brother has never wanted to poop back and forth forever
[22:38] <besoin> this is why it's healthy to watch porky's on hbo 95 times
[22:38] <impdentist> i grew up on milk with spaghetti
[22:38] <His_Secret_Treb> you're a kid and need that shit to grow
[22:38] <dan2> I've seen that milk+spahetti combo in other movies too and it always freaks me out
[22:38] <kayke> little brother is a serial killer now because he saw an ass too young
[22:38] <besoin> we don't get enough miranda july references in here
[22:38] <jalaporno_ranch> seems like she should worry more about that son
[22:38] <oh_its_max> he preyed..
[22:38] <His_Secret_Treb> Zed Lepplin
[22:38] <@Ampersanduction> oh dearest lord satan
[22:38] <impdentist> is this lifetime or pureflix
[22:38] <cybersedonna> this movie ugh
[22:39] <autarch> god is not dead-ass girlfriend
[22:39] <lhs> big scroll wheel , big life
[22:39] <oh_its_max> is he gonna get arrested for looking at underage pix
[22:39] <His_Secret_Treb> I never want to see another move eroticize a scroll wheel
[22:39] <impdentist> so uh is this his high school classmate that has a porn site
[22:39] <kayke> in my life
[22:39] <kayke> this guy is kind of heathy
[22:39] <dan2> com-bone #5
[22:39] <jalaporno_ranch> I'm missing all of this because I'm too busy searching for the song
[22:39] <cybersedonna> why is he pimping out monica?
[22:40] <cybersedonna> oh no more kids are getting pulled into this
[22:40] <autarch> show him the good stuff, kid
[22:40] <dan2> wait why'd I say combo instead of mambo
[22:40] <oh_its_max> at least he is shooting nazi planes
[22:40] <@Ampersanduction> *takes out his fursuit*
[22:40] <impdentist> this porn thing is spiralling out of control
[22:40] <kayke> cumbo
[22:40] <dan2> my mind must have been melted by this indecency
[22:40] <oh_its_max> HAHahaha
[22:40] <lhs> mambory gland
[22:40] <dvr> "we are the new dinosaurs!"
[22:40] <besoin> Snoop EZ
[22:40] <oh_its_max> the fucking bargain bin songs
[22:40] <impdentist> OH
[22:40] <cybersedonna> ahahahahahaha
[22:40] <autarch> wait
[22:41] <kayke> was he holding the keyboard upside down?
[22:41] <jalaporno_ranch> that stuff's way too twisted!
[22:41] <autarch> is he zack efron?
[22:41] <@Ampersanduction> scuzzy
[22:41] <His_Secret_Treb> TWISTED
[22:41] <cybersedonna> wow kink shame
[22:41] <besoin> "leather outfits...GROSS"
[22:41] <@Ampersanduction> who doesn't want spam forever
[22:41] <dan2> We're the kids in Americaaaaaaaaa, owaaayyoo
[22:41] <impdentist> also is this deen gray
[22:41] <autarch> is the main kid zack efron?
[22:41] <besoin> yeah
[22:41] <Boob5-11> Wondering if the janitor wants to see some BDSM...
[22:41] <oh_its_max> that was Verde
[22:41] <His_Secret_Treb> We did watch a cyber jackoff thriller staring Kirk Cameron right
[22:41] <dan2> he's gonna swim state championships in full bondage gear
[22:41] <kayke> janitor is also zack efron
[22:41] <besoin> is he ogling his mom
[22:41] <cybersedonna> ewwww
[22:41] <dvr> these swimmers are terrible
[22:41] <lhs> fireproof, treb?
[22:42] <dan2> I mean it looks like it would make you go faster honestly
[22:42] <His_Secret_Treb> Like somebody smashed a computer outside or something
[22:42] <cybersedonna> didn't they ban full body suits for that reason?
[22:42] <cybersedonna> don't stair at your mom please
[22:42] <lhs> that was fireproof
[22:42] <His_Secret_Treb> is this mom or another lady
[22:42] <autarch> wait. his mom works out at the high school pool?
[22:42] <kayke> modesty mother
[22:43] <dan2> Stroke Mom
[22:43] <His_Secret_Treb> oh got
[22:43] <@Ampersanduction> "mother. wet. good."
[22:43] <jalaporno_ranch> Did you get kink shamed, son?
[22:43] <besoin> "tommy kink shamed me"
[22:43] <cybersedonna> i got kink shamed
[22:43] <cybersedonna> oh lol
[22:43] <His_Secret_Treb> All we need to understand to make this OK is that this is his erotic STEPMOM
[22:43] <besoin> pesky sleeves out of the way
[22:44] <oh_its_max> mmm warm soda
[22:44] <His_Secret_Treb> Full range of jerking motion
[22:44] <dvr> Bawls
[22:44] <impdentist> drinking a monster for energy
[22:44] <His_Secret_Treb> swimmer
[22:44] <besoin> so monica has an onlyfans?
[22:44] <jalaporno_ranch> pounding monsters pounding pud
[22:44] <cybersedonna> ! make girls horny
[22:44] <dan2> need that guarana
[22:44] <impdentist> FOCUS DUDE
[22:44] <His_Secret_Treb> good stuff
[22:45] <besoin> he really does need to use palm os
[22:45] <jalaporno_ranch> is this gonna lead to him getting a boner when he gets out of the pool? because i can relate to that
[22:45] <His_Secret_Treb> hahha
[22:45] <oh_its_max> hes not gonna swim good
[22:45] <dan2> he's gonna have a boner while swimming his race and the extra resistance will cost him the gold
[22:45] <oh_its_max> hahaha
[22:45] <dvr> lol
[22:45] <autarch> dude's too horny to swim
[22:45] <kayke> he can use it to steer like a fin
[22:45] <jalaporno_ranch> like a torpedo
[22:45] <impdentist> 2005 was the worst year for swimming hairstyles
[22:45] <His_Secret_Treb> boner drag is real fam
[22:45] <dvr> and now everyone has tinitus
[22:45] <besoin> he doesn't actually seem to connect the porn addiction to his penis
[22:46] <dan2> don't you quit on me beautiful
[22:46] <His_Secret_Treb> All porn no jerking in the Lifetime world
[22:46] <dan2> Michael Failps
[22:47] <jalaporno_ranch> too exhausted from pounding it. kids these days...
[22:47] <impdentist> he was distracted by the ass next to him
[22:47] <dan2> an american tragedy
[22:47] <cybersedonna> wow mom shame
[22:47] <cybersedonna> kink shame
[22:47] <cybersedonna> this kid
[22:47] <impdentist> told you
[22:47] <His_Secret_Treb> I had this old cub scout manual that basically said that jerking sapped you of your essential energy.
[22:47] <His_Secret_Treb> Like from 1930
[22:47] <besoin> older women
[22:47] <cybersedonna> omg
[22:47] <dvr> your Gaia?
[22:48] <autarch> stroke  man
[22:48] <autarch> alex@e-mail
[22:48] <His_Secret_Treb> a note to myself
[22:48] <His_Secret_Treb> Bookmarks invented
[22:48] <jalaporno_ranch> what did that say? _____ Vaginas
[22:48] <besoin> did that say virgin vaginas
[22:48] <impdentist> oh man those cargos
[22:48] <dan2> so much emailing of freely accessable porno in this
[22:48] <kayke> he fucking labeled his burned discs
[22:48] <Boob5-11> Quality parenting.
[22:48] <cybersedonna> wow mom
[22:48] <oh_its_max> wow rude
[22:48] <kayke> write "homestar runner" on there or something
[22:48] <lhs> heh
[22:48] <dvr> did he label them like, "Anime Pics"
[22:49] <cybersedonna> let him go to porn college
[22:49] <oh_its_max> stupid capitalism
[22:49] <oh_its_max> ruins families
[22:49] <His_Secret_Treb> remember he's downloading this 144p sextravagigza on AOL dial up
[22:49] <autarch> how much money did she have riding on her son's swim meet?
[22:49] <oh_its_max> hahaha
[22:49] <dan2> lol
[22:50] <impdentist> i hope swimfan isn't here
[22:50] <cybersedonna> is he gonna jerk off in the pool?
[22:50] <besoin> is he wearing mormon underwear
[22:50] <cybersedonna> lol
[22:50] <jalaporno_ranch> now who's kink shaming?
[22:50] <dan2> one half lap, YES
[22:50] <dvr> heh
[22:50] <His_Secret_Treb> uh oh
[22:50] <besoin> i just wanted to know for the imdb keywords
[22:50] <kayke> lmaoooo
[22:50] <oh_its_max> hahaha
[22:50] <His_Secret_Treb> ahahhhahha
[22:50] <dvr> lol
[22:50] <cybersedonna> ahahahhahahahhahaha
[22:50] <cybersedonna> i died
[22:50] <oh_its_max> this kid is a moron
[22:50] <impdentist> it's a punk band mom!
[22:50] <dan2> "Jackpot"
[22:50] <His_Secret_Treb> shahdh
[22:50] <lhs> virgin vaginas/shitskis split album
[22:51] <His_Secret_Treb> cant believe oit
[22:51] <impdentist> is he drowning
[22:51] <cybersedonna> didn't know he had Pan fantasies
[22:51] <autarch> moisture is the essence of wetness
[22:51] <@Ampersanduction> Nympho Nyads XXX
[22:51] <dan2> This Aint Lady in the Water: An XXX Parody
[22:51] <autarch> and wetness is the essence of beauty
[22:51] <besoin> is this autoerotic asphyxiation by pool
[22:51] <His_Secret_Treb> ahah
[22:51] <jalaporno_ranch> he just reached a new level, didn't even have to stroke
[22:51] <His_Secret_Treb> why is little bro there
[22:52] <His_Secret_Treb> ahah
[22:52] <dvr> !
[22:52] <impdentist> i told you!!
[22:52] <cybersedonna> lololololol
[22:52] <kayke> he stole the porn disc and hid it in his sock drawer
[22:52] <oh_its_max> amazing
[22:52] <autarch> wait'll she learns about perfect pussy
[22:52] <cybersedonna> all the porn is on his computer
[22:52] <jalaporno_ranch> I kinda do
[22:52] <His_Secret_Treb> conservative about havin' sex
[22:52] <kayke> if it's funny porn
[22:52] <His_Secret_Treb> aka not fuckin'
[22:52] <dan2> they're gonna make them watch the whole thing together, just like when people made kids caught smoking a cigarette smoke the whole pack
[22:52] <cybersedonna> in the woods
[22:52] <jalaporno_ranch> I was looking for the Swishfoot CD
[22:53] <autarch> narc brother
[22:53] <dan2> Big Boobs are one thing, but Vaginas????
[22:53] <besoin> is he going to end up in rehab
[22:53] <impdentist> this brother has been the opposite of the brother from bring it on at every opportunity
[22:53] <kayke> maybe it's not porn and actually a sad movie like the virgin suicides
[22:53] <His_Secret_Treb> hahah
[22:53] <His_Secret_Treb> mom
[22:54] <oh_its_max> i wish i could quit you
[22:54] <dvr> lol
[22:54] <His_Secret_Treb> 'Maybe I should search for vaginas that aren't virgin...g'
[22:54] <kayke> what's with this fire hazard hallway
[22:54] <besoin> maybe take his computer away if you're this crazy about it
[22:54] <impdentist> she's gonna confront every other kid in her son's class
[22:54] <cybersedonna> yeah talk about this in the hallway
[22:55] <lhs> she's going to join MADD: mothers against double Ds
[22:55] <cybersedonna> OMG is your husband looking a PORN
[22:55] <dan2> lol lhs
[22:55] <cybersedonna> that was helpful
[22:55] <dvr> lol
[22:55] <cybersedonna> lol lsh
[22:55] <His_Secret_Treb> My husband confines his wavering eye to the strip clubs once a month
[22:55] <impdentist> what has porn cost so far in this movie
[22:55] <dan2> "Cancel all your plans, this is serious"
[22:55] <impdentist> this secondary character's marriage, the cost of four years in college
[22:55] <His_Secret_Treb> SUPER SUBMARINE
[22:56] <impdentist> having to have that conversation about virgin vaginas
[22:56] <His_Secret_Treb> ahdhahfsd
[22:56] <impdentist> oh man she bought out the store
[22:56] <besoin> did she buy three copies of the same program
[22:56] <His_Secret_Treb> WEB SHERIFF 1.44
[22:56] <cybersedonna> oh my god
[22:56] <impdentist> oh now he's going to shady internet cafes for his fix
[22:56] <besoin> BLOXXX
[22:56] <His_Secret_Treb> BLOXCX\
[22:56] <dan2> heading to the porn district of town
[22:56] <cybersedonna> thanks honey. now you can't look at virgin vaginas
[22:56] <His_Secret_Treb> BLOXX THE LOVE BELOW
[22:56] <jalaporno_ranch> this kid is such a fuckin' narc
[22:57] <@Ampersanduction> family fun room
[22:57] <dvr> haha
[22:57] <kayke> "mom please protect me from myself"
[22:57] <oh_its_max> our computer was in the living room
[22:57] <cybersedonna> can no one spell
[22:57] <impdentist> oh my god he'll never get into college with that spelling anyway
[22:57] <jalaporno_ranch> these aren't 2005 computers
[22:57] <besoin> to busy looking at porn to learn to spell
[22:57] <His_Secret_Treb> jerker fuel
[22:57] <besoin> *too
[22:57] <autarch> if this mom was born in a different year, she'd be in the gestapo
[22:57] <impdentist> THAT WAS LAST NIGHT??
[22:58] <autarch> is he at an internet cafe?
[22:58] <besoin> she's gonna love this desperation
[22:58] <impdentist> "that's cool"
[22:58] <@Ampersanduction> Jerker Fuel
[22:58] <oh_its_max> what is this PLACE
[22:58] <jalaporno_ranch> I hope he's tipping well
[22:58] <cybersedonna> cucked by my mother
[22:58] <besoin> porky's 2
[22:58] <His_Secret_Treb> do appreciate the action on theoe old ass keyboards
[22:58] <lhs> rent caligula
[22:59] <jalaporno_ranch> [bass groove]
[22:59] <autarch> 9
[22:59] <cybersedonna> i like how this  movie treats it like he's on coke
[22:59] <autarch> 9:00
[22:59] <dan2> SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL (boobs)
[22:59] <oh_its_max> haha
[22:59] <autarch> michelob ultra commercial
[22:59] <besoin> they're meeting at the diner?
[22:59] <besoin> opsec kid
[22:59] <Boob5-11> Rough puka crowd
[22:59] <jalaporno_ranch> loud place to be working on equations
[22:59] <His_Secret_Treb> Less than Zero but with cum stained cargo pants
[22:59] <cybersedonna> no way she's into him
[22:59] <kayke> 2 sodies for me and the lady
[23:00] <dvr> heh
[23:00] <His_Secret_Treb> hahh
[23:00] <dan2> a pepsi for my sexi ;)
[23:00] <autarch> his hair isn't bad enough to be a swimmer
[23:00] <besoin> he doesn't have to think. you have that website.
[23:00] <His_Secret_Treb> Feel like there were no lax carding places by 2005
[23:00] <dan2> DOOLEY
[23:00] <@Ampersanduction> Deputy Dooley
[23:01] <autarch> take me to the place deputy dooley was hung
[23:01] <His_Secret_Treb> wait this lady seems pretty cool
[23:01] <autarch> wait
[23:01] <impdentist> oh nooooo
[23:01] <jalaporno_ranch> that's pretty cool
[23:01] <cybersedonna> lol
[23:01] <His_Secret_Treb> yeah that shit is pretty cool
[23:01] <kayke> they should have just met at her place then
[23:01] <besoin> he already finished
[23:01] <lhs> "i gotta get j/oing"
[23:02] <dan2> lol
[23:02] <autarch> lol lhs
[23:02] <kayke> why are they drinking soda at a bar if there's a parent free house
[23:02] <cybersedonna> he's worked this hard for this moment and he's just gonna blow it?
[23:02] <His_Secret_Treb> 'something' sounds like serial killer
[23:02] <His_Secret_Treb> what a herb
[23:02] <autarch> yeah kayke idk
[23:02] <jalaporno_ranch> he cupped a tiddy and scrammed
[23:02] <cybersedonna> wow got dissed by a sophmore
[23:02] <autarch> what's this track
[23:02] <dan2> heading to the bathroom for a quick soda jerk
[23:02] <autarch> this song is good
[23:02] <lhs> he's a one-titter quitter
[23:03] <dvr> lol
[23:03] <kayke> her mood board sucks
[23:03] <besoin> kids with crooked dicks
[23:03] <lhs> heh
[23:03] <autarch> this kid is good
[23:03] <dan2> papers please
[23:03] <jalaporno_ranch> the libary
[23:03] <autarch> this kid is really good
[23:03] <autarch> i respect his game
[23:04] <oh_its_max> got it from the LIE..brary..
[23:04] <autarch> if i was this good at lying, i'd do incredible things
[23:04] <impdentist> he's a regular walter white
[23:04] <His_Secret_Treb> never noticed the weight bench
[23:04] <jalaporno_ranch> she moved his computer while he was asleep?
[23:04] <besoin> wow, what a mess
[23:04] <dan2> Maybe...IM the real monster
[23:04] <impdentist> so random!! lol
[23:05] <His_Secret_Treb> I mean if you real spent, your mom can do anything in your room and you wont wake up
[23:05] <besoin> he's 15. he could finish from these hugs.
[23:05] <autarch> dude
[23:05] <impdentist> UH OH
[23:05] <impdentist> he can't go down the stairs because of his boner
[23:05] <autarch> just break up with the first girl and get with the one who actually wants you
[23:06] <lhs> monica@e-mail you later
[23:06] <autarch> lol
[23:06] <impdentist> what
[23:06] <cybersedonna> wait what
[23:06] <dan2> kinKEE the clown
[23:06] <jalaporno_ranch> aha
[23:06] <dvr> haha
[23:06] <His_Secret_Treb> "what's sex slick?"
[23:06] <cybersedonna> this ... has never happened
[23:06] <besoin> what the hell
[23:06] <kayke> is this high school musical
[23:06] <autarch> [enunciating] I hear you're a real freak though
[23:06] <His_Secret_Treb> PEVERTED SPAM
[23:06] <autarch> that's what i was saying kayke
[23:06] <cybersedonna> the other porn didn't get you spam?
[23:06] <autarch> he's like efron
[23:06] <cybersedonna> how is this his fault?
[23:06] <oh_its_max> fade to green?
[23:06] <cybersedonna> i don't like this convo
[23:07] <impdentist> and WHAT
[23:07] <besoin> that's the only reference we're going to get to masturbating?
[23:07] <jalaporno_ranch> are people not allowed to whack off in the Lifetime universe?
[23:07] <besoin> this is malfeasance
[23:07] <His_Secret_Treb> mom is doing a lot of eyebrow acting
[23:07] <autarch> yeah, this is the most pro-dude movie in the history of lifetime
[23:07] <@Ampersanduction> The Real Thing
[23:07] <autarch> YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN"T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM
[23:08] <besoin> "look, honey, i just wanted to see if she'd free herself the washer"
[23:08] <kayke> was her husband a teenage boy
[23:08] <besoin> *from the
[23:08] <His_Secret_Treb> besoin
[23:08] <His_Secret_Treb> ...
[23:08] <lhs> you must be willing to fuck your wife at a moment's notice
[23:08] <besoin> heh
[23:08] <autarch> busted
[23:08] <jalaporno_ranch> they're mad if you whack off, they're mad if you grab a titty. free stroke man of these damn chains!
[23:08] <impdentist> this is clearly christian music
[23:08] <impdentist> the boobsboys
[23:08] <dvr> Swish(switch) foot
[23:08] <kayke> her onlyfans
[23:08] <jalaporno_ranch> for Dewey?
[23:08] <autarch> for dooley
[23:09] <His_Secret_Treb> fo serious?
[23:09] <cybersedonna> this kids acting is off the charts
[23:09] <autarch> is she trying to sell him on monica?
[23:09] <autarch> cuz she's doing a great job
[23:09] <cybersedonna> have sex in front of the jesus sign
[23:09] <impdentist> she has a jesus poster right next to her bed
[23:09] <besoin> this should end with amy taking the showerhead down and smirking knowingly
[23:09] <autarch> this is what the new 1975 album sounds like
[23:10] <oh_its_max> (looks over at jesus)
[23:10] <cybersedonna> i mean, justin does this seem magical?
[23:10] <His_Secret_Treb> wait there are adults there
[23:10] <lhs> just enjoy the damn dryhumping
[23:10] <kayke> some sage palace
[23:10] <besoin> is he getting taller as the movie goes on
[23:10] <His_Secret_Treb> A big fan of this oblivious mom, too
[23:10] <cybersedonna> i like the brother
[23:11] <jalaporno_ranch> but he's a narc
[23:11] <His_Secret_Treb> A boy hood shoot
[23:11] <autarch> you get [off] what you give
[23:11] <His_Secret_Treb> ahdahdfha
[23:11] <His_Secret_Treb> Mom's hat
[23:11] <dan2> lol autarch
[23:11] <kayke> just grabbing random herbs to appease their mom
[23:11] <impdentist> WE'RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT HERE IN LOWES
[23:11] <jalaporno_ranch> lol
[23:11] <besoin> jesus
[23:11] <cybersedonna> ahahaha
[23:11] <kayke> lol imp
[23:11] <autarch> oh relax
[23:11] <dan2> pernugrahy
[23:12] <autarch> imp jeez
[23:12] <cybersedonna> i can't take her seirously in that hat
[23:12] <oh_its_max> the hat really betrays the seriousness of your tone
[23:12] <@Ampersanduction> got her
[23:12] <His_Secret_Treb> The twist is that Alex has been fucking for years before Justin
[23:12] <autarch> "I'M NOT YOUR HUSBAND I'M YOUR SON"
[23:12] <cybersedonna> i don't think beth wants him knowing htat
[23:12] <besoin> has lifetime disavowed this
[23:12] <cybersedonna> mom, let's go away to san francisco
[23:12] <dan2> its funny cause Lifetime basically just shows porno now
[23:12] <@Ampersanduction> you must fail, child
[23:12] <autarch> this mom is an idiot
[23:13] <autarch> i hate this mom so much
[23:13] <jalaporno_ranch> it definitely doesn't seem like the porn is the issue here
[23:13] <His_Secret_Treb> "I SAW A SIGHT CALLED BRAZZERS JUSTIN"
[23:13] <lhs> he's probably failing anyway, if his spelling is any indication
[23:13] <besoin> i mean, this is after the degrassi next gen std episode. who are they kidding.
[23:13] <cybersedonna> omg
[23:13] <impdentist> love the comic relief dad
[23:13] <cybersedonna> OF COURSE HE DOES. YOU DO TOO
[23:13] <cybersedonna> ugh i hate this movie
[23:13] <besoin> "i NEVER think about ANYTHING"
[23:13] <cybersedonna> rolling my eyes so hard
[23:13] <lhs> he fantasizes about watching porn
[23:14] <autarch> do moms still hate when their kids are on the computer or are they cool now?
[23:14] <His_Secret_Treb> Oh no don't need this
[23:14] <cybersedonna> barf
[23:14] <cybersedonna> financial fantasies?
[23:14] <dan2> dad almost looks like Henry Rollins
[23:14] <cybersedonna> what other kinds?
[23:14] <besoin> what kind of christian propaganda is this
[23:14] <dvr> heh dan2
[23:14] <jalaporno_ranch> best legs ever
[23:14] <lhs> tender toes
[23:14] <cybersedonna> ahahahaha
[23:14] <@Ampersanduction> collage hotties
[23:14] <autarch> yessssss
[23:14] <dvr> AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[23:14] <kayke> gasp!
[23:14] <His_Secret_Treb> is that windows CE
[23:14] <besoin> should have gone for the dolly zoom there
[23:14] <dan2> more like Whackberry, amirite
[23:15] <lhs> i need a screenshot of all the search terms
[23:15] <oh_its_max> yeah lol
[23:15] <impdentist> WE ARE DOING THIS RIGHT HERE AT THE YMCA
[23:15] <His_Secret_Treb> SWIMMING
[23:15] <autarch> PDA: Pubes, Dicks, and Ass
[23:15] <@Ampersanduction> beat wikifeet
[23:15] <His_Secret_Treb> fade to blue
[23:15] <dan2> KINKY THE CLOWN GET BACK HERE
[23:15] <kayke> lol dan
[23:15] <impdentist> Hooter High School
[23:15] <oh_its_max> evolved to usb now
[23:15] <impdentist> oh no he's gonna be that public library masturbator guy
[23:15] <kayke> gotta get my fix
[23:16] <jalaporno_ranch> what are you doing, man!
[23:16] <besoin> he has the reflexes of a potato
[23:16] <dan2> I don't know if I could jerk it using a site called SnoopEZ
[23:16] <impdentist> just get some national geographics, you're at the library already
[23:16] <autarch> dude
[23:16] <autarch> she's right there
[23:16] <autarch> what are you doing
[23:16] <cybersedonna> you could..literally go have sex with monica
[23:16] <jalaporno_ranch> hyped on Yahoo, can't help himself
[23:16] <lhs> getting buzzed off a bottled frap
[23:17] <autarch> this is either the dumbest thing ever or the most ridiculous power move of all time
[23:17] <Boob5-11> Also, the sign said no food or drink, what a jerk.
[23:17] <dan2> why the Shaolin temple music all of a sudden
[23:17] <besoin> mom's gonna bring in the big guns
[23:17] <dvr> uh oh
[23:17] <impdentist> now what
[23:17] <kayke> son arrested for googling porn
[23:17] <oh_its_max> hackerman
[23:17] <jalaporno_ranch> we put him in a chastity belt
[23:17] <dan2> Mr. JObot
[23:17] <lhs> heh
[23:18] <besoin> this movie is insane
[23:18] <impdentist> thought she was gonna say she had a copy of his search records
[23:18] <His_Secret_Treb> "Maam, your son has entirely too much cum"
[23:18] <cybersedonna> but you turned off the internet!
[23:18] <dan2> "he just wrote 'vaginas' for all his test answers?"
[23:18] <kayke> he should just use his imagination to think about fucking people
[23:18] <cybersedonna> lolol
[23:18] <besoin> web sheriff junked the email
[23:18] <impdentist> yeah this is like an xfiles episode
[23:18] <autarch> He used to love getting A's, but now he only get C's and Double D's
[23:18] <His_Secret_Treb> "Visiting? He lives there"
[23:18] <oh_its_max> hahah
[23:18] <autarch> lol treb
[23:18] <dan2> pernography
[23:19] <besoin> spending their sf money on porn therapists
[23:19] <His_Secret_Treb> I have whactice
[23:19] <jalaporno_ranch> I find this movie more offensive than Loqueesha
[23:19] <autarch> maybe if you just looked the other way
[23:19] <jalaporno_ranch> I SAID PORNOGRAPHY
[23:19] <autarch> jesus
[23:19] <cybersedonna> I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU
[23:19] <His_Secret_Treb> ahdhafshd
[23:19] <autarch> these parents are fucking dolts
[23:19] <kayke> make him work on a farm and eat corn flakes or whatever
[23:20] <besoin> "i learned it from watching you (watch porky's) dad!"
[23:20] <cybersedonna> lol kayke
[23:20] <autarch> god, christians are insane.
[23:20] <impdentist> he's gonna channel his horny energies into learning to be a famous chef
[23:20] <Boob5-11> "And we're putting you on a strict Graham cracker dieet."
[23:20] <lhs> i'm not even into porn but this movie is making me want to watch some out of defiance
[23:20] <besoin> "uh, can monica come over and tutor me"
[23:20] <jalaporno_ranch> the only way to end this movie is to tie him up in a sex dungeon
[23:20] <cybersedonna> lol
[23:20] <dan2> lol bob
[23:20] <autarch> lol
[23:21] <cybersedonna> jeez kid just jerk off like a normal person
[23:21] <autarch> justin
[23:21] <besoin> oh no, his own imagination
[23:21] <impdentist> oh noooooooo
[23:21] <cybersedonna> omg omgo omg
[23:21] <dan2> would like to know more about the bald guy
[23:21] <His_Secret_Treb> Yeah, he could have had an terrible awkward encounter with Monica like a normal person
[23:21] <kayke> lol dan
[23:21] <oh_its_max> korn - adidas.mp3
[23:21] <impdentist> there's a couple dudes in there too, very progressive
[23:21] <lhs> also, has the mom never seen mtv
[23:21] <autarch> this is what it's like if you don't j/o for a month
[23:21] <cybersedonna> this movie isn't even anti porn it's anti masturbation
[23:22] <impdentist> JUSTIN NO
[23:22] <autarch> yesss
[23:22] <impdentist> they can trace credit cards my dude
[23:22] <autarch> do it big man
[23:22] <besoin> Albert Bundy
[23:22] <autarch> get that nut, brother
[23:22] <His_Secret_Treb> The dudes are there to say "GOOD FUCKIN"
[23:22] <dan2> about to buy $1,000,000 of porn
[23:22] <cybersedonna> uh, your mom is gonna see that
[23:22] <impdentist> YOU ARE NOW FREE TO USE THE INTERNET
[23:22] <jalaporno_ranch> when will you ever learn? when will you ever learn...
[23:22] <besoin> how many sites does he need
[23:22] <lhs> everybody's freeeeee to use the internet
[23:22] <autarch> bangin boobs
[23:22] <impdentist> your cum is clouding your judgement boy
[23:22] <kayke> he could literally go look at naked boobies in person at any time, why is he doing this he's not even jerking off
[23:22] <His_Secret_Treb> Put your Diners Club numbas into the hole
[23:22] <oh_its_max> bout to activate Sticky Keys
[23:22] <besoin> maybe take these sodas away
[23:23] <impdentist> did he take his shirt off???
[23:23] <cybersedonna> ew, lol max
[23:23] <kayke> okay, I take it back
[23:23] <lhs> a trip down mammary lane
[23:23] <jalaporno_ranch> for watching so much porn he never gets to the good stuff
[23:23] <oh_its_max> i regret thaty
[23:23] <cybersedonna> nah it was good
[23:23] <His_Secret_Treb> He's in a spider man pose
[23:23] <autarch> this is reminding me of those hypnosis videos on youtube
[23:23] <kayke> shooting web
[23:23] <cybersedonna> lol lhs
[23:23] <oh_its_max> also it's not really his secret life
[23:23] <impdentist> what was that nathan post about lighting candles and watching porn til the sun came up
[23:23] <autarch> lol lhs
[23:24] <lhs> so is it only like european keyboards that have a "sex" key or what
[23:24] <dan2> "I walk this loney roaaaad" - The Green
[23:24] <cybersedonna> oh i heard you're the boy who likes latex
[23:24] <autarch> wait
[23:24] <cybersedonna> oh now it's awkward?
[23:24] <autarch> that's not even monica, is it?
[23:24] <besoin> what is the problem here
[23:24] <impdentist> was not expecting her in loungewear
[23:24] <kayke> he's not ready to see a booby
[23:25] <lhs> she actually has a virgin vagina
[23:25] <jalaporno_ranch> that was some weird framing
[23:25] <besoin> just have sex
[23:25] <besoin> who gives a fuck
[23:25] <jalaporno_ranch> not as weird as those frames
[23:25] <Boob5-11> Ha
[23:25] <His_Secret_Treb> UHHHH
[23:25] <dvr> lol
[23:25] <cybersedonna> swim team greets him for a gang bang
[23:25] <His_Secret_Treb> HAHAH
[23:25] <autarch> "I gotta wear THAT?!"
[23:25] <cybersedonna> wait, what is her kind?
[23:26] <besoin> is she setting him up somehow
[23:26] <autarch> go on, kid
[23:26] <His_Secret_Treb> Monica has weird needs
[23:26] <lhs> she's been mombait the entire time
[23:26] <cybersedonna> takes off wig it's his mom
[23:26] <cybersedonna> she's been undercover the whole time
[23:26] <dvr> camera is on
[23:26] <autarch> yeah whatever
[23:26] <cybersedonna> yeah camera is def on
[23:27] <besoin> ah jesus christ
[23:27] <His_Secret_Treb> What a herb
[23:27] <besoin> jilsfjldsfjkl
[23:27] <autarch> dude
[23:27] <autarch> kid
[23:27] <autarch> what the fuck
[23:27] <dan2> "I thought it would be more 2D"
[23:27] <jalaporno_ranch> hmmmmm
[23:27] <Boob5-11> "Do you have a photo of Jesus handy?"
[23:27] <kayke> it's not magical enough
[23:27] <autarch> HOW DID YOU PICTURE IT WOULD BE?!
[23:27] <impdentist> yall don't even know how wild this is about to get
[23:27] <autarch> what the fuck kid?
[23:27] <oh_its_max> he's gonna get murdered
[23:27] <jalaporno_ranch> this movie is pissing me off
[23:27] <His_Secret_Treb> Lifetime movies have warped this kids view of sex
[23:27] <autarch> "I thought we'd go bowling first"
[23:27] <@Ampersanduction> murder him
[23:27] <autarch> go monica
[23:27] <cybersedonna> everyone in this school hates him
[23:27] <besoin> GIT
[23:27] <lhs> her irl boobs are too high-res
[23:27] <cybersedonna> woah
[23:27] <autarch> get him monica
[23:28] <kayke> team monica
[23:28] <@Ampersanduction> go back to your trailers
[23:28] <besoin> uhhh
[23:28] <impdentist> i mean he really just needs to make his mind up one way or the other
[23:28] <dan2> The thing that freaked him out was the fact that she was gonna take her clothes off, everything he looks at they're all in their underwear"
[23:28] <autarch> lhs lol
[23:28] <kayke> wash that man out of your hair
[23:28] <jalaporno_ranch> ahahaha
[23:28] <@Ampersanduction> HOW'S ANNIE?
[23:28] <oh_its_max> WHAT
[23:28] <jalaporno_ranch> what the fuck
[23:28] <cybersedonna> omg
[23:28] <autarch> NOOOO
[23:28] <His_Secret_Treb> uh
[23:28] <cybersedonna> wait
[23:28] <oh_its_max> WHY
[23:28] <autarch> WHAT THE FUCKKKK
[23:28] <besoin> "how's amy"
[23:28] <cybersedonna> uhhh
[23:28] <autarch> Does she have stigmata now?
[23:28] <His_Secret_Treb> no take the win mon
[23:28] <autarch> This movie is racing to the finish
[23:28] <His_Secret_Treb> love how they film mom
[23:28] <autarch> hahahaha
[23:28] <autarch> yesss
[23:29] <cybersedonna> did he really have to come home from work for this?
[23:29] <jalaporno_ranch> Ma'am, did you order a subscription to Blacked.com?
[23:29] <cybersedonna> also stop clicking on things
[23:29] <His_Secret_Treb> "A little something for daddy"
[23:29] <cybersedonna> lol ocming
[23:29] <dan2> "You're not gonna believe this. They just released Virgin Vaginas 2"
[23:29] <impdentist> hahaha just pounding the keyboard
[23:29] <oh_its_max> this is how computers work
[23:29] <autarch> one of those windows was called "TEEN WOLF" i swear to god
[23:29] <His_Secret_Treb> The Vagining
[23:29] <autarch> treb,
[23:29] <cybersedonna> you shouldn't have trusted him
[23:29] <impdentist> god it's been so long since i've seen a pop up ad
[23:29] <jalaporno_ranch> how did he expect to hide the credit card charges?
[23:29] <dvr> here's an IOU
[23:29] <dan2> "We're gonna have to sell the house"
[23:29] <kayke> might as well face it you're addicted to porn
[23:30] <autarch> wow
[23:30] <cybersedonna> wow this movie really escalates
[23:30] <@Ampersanduction> cmon dad, strike me
[23:30] <oh_its_max> sock it to me
[23:30] <His_Secret_Treb> "YOUNG MAN, WHAT THE HELL IS A BANGBUS"
[23:30] <autarch> yeah
[23:30] <autarch> jesus
[23:30] <autarch> poor kid just wants to cum
[23:30] <besoin> 10 mins to save this kid's soul
[23:30] <oh_its_max> momma told him not to come
[23:30] <dvr> awkward dinner......
[23:30] <impdentist> lol
[23:30] <His_Secret_Treb> oh its max
[23:30] <lhs> when you learn about porn before you learn about jerking off, there's no respite
[23:31] <besoin> syriana's playing
[23:31] <autarch> this reminds me of the time me and my friends had a sleepover at my friend patrick's house in 6th grade. We looked at porn sites on his computer. Afterward all the parents got a call from pat's mom being like "hey our computer has a virus, would you know anything about this?"
[23:31] <besoin> just call her, idiot
[23:31] <autarch> go jerk off, kid
[23:31] <kayke> lol autarch
[23:31] <lhs> "and you're wearing a wire"
[23:31] <cybersedonna> does justin not know about masterbation?
[23:32] <lhs> i really don't think he does
[23:32] <impdentist> he's really just there to use her palm pilot some more
[23:32] <cybersedonna> it would really take the edge off i think
[23:32] <jalaporno_ranch> he never got that far
[23:32] <oh_its_max> this takes place ina universe where no one jerks off
[23:32] <autarch> as soon as you get out of the car, make a break for the forest. hide out in there. once the coast is clear, make your way to the library. hide in there until it closes. then use their internet to jerk off.
[23:32] <jalaporno_ranch> why do all that when you can just find porn in the forest?
[23:32] <lhs> ew
[23:32] <autarch> i don't like where this is going
[23:32] <impdentist> yeah what are forests for
[23:32] <His_Secret_Treb> "Mom, jerk me off to take the edge off"
[23:32] <cybersedonna> forest porn is one of the more fascinating things to me
[23:33] <autarch> maybe i'm missing the forest for the trees
[23:33] <besoin> i think he's past guilting
[23:33] <kayke> my friends and I used to hang out in the woods calling sex hotlines on our flip phones, he could try that
[23:33] <cybersedonna> i wanna be horny for your dad again
[23:33] <jalaporno_ranch> my grandma caught my cousin and I trying to call 1-800-WETBABE
[23:33] <dvr> lol
[23:33] <impdentist> you can always count on the mother-teen relationship to get some major play in one of these
[23:33] <cybersedonna> i used to call 1-800-jessica
[23:33] <His_Secret_Treb> hah
[23:33] <autarch> 1-800-WETBABE???
[23:33] <oh_its_max> lol
[23:34] <cybersedonna> i mean, amy probably will tell him to leave
[23:34] <His_Secret_Treb> NO JUNK MAIL
[23:34] <cybersedonna> so she should stay
[23:34] <autarch> ok now sneak away
[23:34] <autarch> dump her, go beat your meat
[23:34] <kayke> she's forgiving like jesus
[23:34] <impdentist> she has not yet confronted him about the palm pilot porn correct?
[23:34] <autarch> takin care of business
[23:34] <besoin> she did, imp
[23:34] <@Ampersanduction> "wanna got to the family room?"
[23:34] <His_Secret_Treb> Shit I thought he was a monicas house
[23:34] <His_Secret_Treb> Needs to apologize to her
[23:34] <cybersedonna> so can we have sex?
[23:34] <impdentist> oh right in front of the swim team
[23:35] <autarch> she stinks
[23:35] <besoin> this kid's life is over
[23:35] <autarch> fuckin leave this dumb girl behind
[23:35] <lhs> "we can give each other handjobs in the back pew"
[23:35] <jalaporno_ranch> oh god, it ends with him getting converted to christianity?!
[23:35] <cybersedonna> that feels manipulative
[23:35] <autarch> you know who's radical?
[23:35] <oh_its_max> not as radical as the teachings of jesus christ
[23:35] <impdentist> "it's not, we're high church episcopalians"
[23:35] <impdentist> i can't believe theres only 5 minutes
[23:35] <besoin> when is monica's other shoe going to drop
[23:36] <cybersedonna> i would have liked this better if the swim team murdered him for being a latex freak
[23:36] <oh_its_max> she needs a spin-off movie
[23:36] <His_Secret_Treb> The last refuge of a scoundrel is going to church with a girl you want to have sex with
[23:36] <besoin> heh
[23:36] <jalaporno_ranch> wait what's happening
[23:36] <cybersedonna> wait what
[23:36] <His_Secret_Treb> what
[23:36] <autarch> what is happening
[23:36] <impdentist> yall ready
[23:36] <His_Secret_Treb> is somebody about to be shotgunned
[23:36] <kayke> treb that's poetry
[23:36] <jalaporno_ranch> oh no
[23:36] <autarch> what the fuck is happening
[23:36] <autarch> wait
[23:36] <@Ampersanduction> the last refuge of the persecuted stroker
[23:36] <dan2> if there's one thing that HS jocks despise, its pornography
[23:36] <lhs> oh sure, NOW it's a lifetime movie
[23:37] <autarch> wait how did her face get so fucked up?
[23:37] <besoin> should have been a runner
[23:37] <jalaporno_ranch> Monica set Stroke Man up, that's cold-blooded
[23:37] <kayke> she hit her fake into the bathroom counter
[23:37] <kayke> *face
[23:37] <besoin> BUSTED
[23:37] <impdentist> i can't help but feel that this is not necessarily directly related to the porn
[23:37] <His_Secret_Treb> what is happening
[23:37] <besoin> that's all?
[23:37] <jalaporno_ranch> I am baffled at this being how the movie ends
[23:38] <besoin> monica actually has sex, so she's more evil than justin, and now he's paying the price
[23:38] <impdentist> i guess it's cool to hit rock bottom when you're only 16
[23:38] <lhs> a lot can happen in two mins with no credits
[23:38] <cybersedonna> i feel like this movie is conflating a lot of things with porn
[23:38] <autarch> this wouldn't have happened if he just had sex with monica
[23:38] <besoin> see i was thinking joe in the pool at the beginning of sunset blvd
[23:38] <cybersedonna> fly like jesus
[23:38] <kayke> goodbye pool world
[23:38] <lhs> dive boner first into the pool
[23:38] <oh_its_max> cut to funeral
[23:38] <oh_its_max> please
[23:38] <His_Secret_Treb> Sex positive Monica was obv the best option
[23:38] <dvr> lol lhs
[23:38] <dan2> we don't have much left, so nows a good time to say that the director of this wrote Friday the 13th Pt. VI
[23:38] <autarch> nooo
[23:39] <besoin> this is his masturbation pool if i recall
[23:39] <autarch> is he just
[23:39] <autarch> is he really doing this?
[23:39] <jalaporno_ranch> this kid's gonna get into some real kinky shit these next few years
[23:39] <@Ampersanduction> "what year is this?"
[23:39] <cybersedonna> i feel like hitting the water with his boner would hurt
[23:39] <besoin> wouldn't some of the porn have to flash before his eyes
[23:39] <oh_its_max> lol
[23:39] <besoin> maybe that's why he's doing it
[23:39] <autarch> is he seriously dying
[23:39] <dan2> The Bonerfly Effect
[23:39] <jalaporno_ranch> [music intensifies]
[23:39] <cybersedonna> what is going on
[23:40] <autarch> dan lol
[23:40] <jalaporno_ranch> my god
[23:40] <oh_its_max> ok???????
[23:40] <cybersedonna> i'm ....
[23:40] <impdentist> WOW
[23:40] <lhs> triumphant
[23:40] <besoin> absolutelt insane movie
[23:40] <His_Secret_Treb> Not dying, he needs to almost drown to cum
[23:40] <impdentist> so what happened
[23:40] <cybersedonna> that's it?
[23:40] <dvr> hmm
[23:40] <oh_its_max> JUSTIN WILL RETURN..
[23:40] <autarch> kelly lynch please die
[23:40] <@Ampersanduction> teens are always doing it
[23:40] <besoin> yeah, i watched road house like 100 times when i was 10, KELLY
[23:40] <cybersedonna> i... did he die?
[23:40] <His_Secret_Treb> Kelly Lynch, tell me what I'm doing wrong
[23:40] <autarch> she wasn't even playing a role?!
[23:40] <dvr> haha
[23:40] <jalaporno_ranch> I honestly don't know how to feel anymore
[23:41] <impdentist> great choice
[23:41] <cybersedonna> im so confused but i think i need to watch porn?
[23:41] <lhs> the pool was his metaphorical baptism
[23:41] <@Ampersanduction> MONEY PLANE tomorrow! sweet dreams, all
[23:41] <autarch> what a race to the finish
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