im so tired

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:28 pm

Image

hey wow 10k posts what a milestone i shouldnt do this anymore

this type of computer use doesn't make sense for me [low whirring sound]

the private Internet (not some 4chanymity, but some sense of division between an online persona and real life) was always illusory

when i was 13 years old a full grown homeowning man called my house and left a voice mail threatening to "cave my fucking skull in" because of an e-wrestling defeat he'd suffered, a pinfall at my virtual hands. he had fallen victim to a modified Death Valley Driver and a title had changed hands in a world of text and ideas and he was driven mad. though he'd addressed me by name i told the stepfather-summoned police gathered in suspicion in the living room that i had No Idea, Man

this format is expired retro kitsch being poisoned with nowness

a remodeled diner infused with self-awareness

the huevos rancheros are $17.99 now and your server can't afford to live closer than a 45 minute drive away and they've been ignoring the need to visit the doctor for a long time

all of my old toys have been melted down and converted to prefigurations of a total collapse into unreality

the thing i thought in my childhood naivete would function as a global liberator and leveler has largely become a tedious permanent Going Out of Business sale ringed by an invisible God Hates Fags march

i open up my machines and they are payment portals fringed with despair

i started a website on twitter and put a meme on it [LOUD SCOFFING NOISE, INCREDIBLY BADLY DRESSED]

nobody has signed the guestbook yet ("fucking twee, folksy, fucking...") ... ("FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING")





(ive never actually listened to this album aside from "vicarious" and "the pot" on 107.! THE BIG WAZU in some other car in some other life)

ImageImageImageImage
10k posts!!!! Image10k posts!!!!!!!
ImageImageImageImage

i might try to start putting text in the twitter box for people who Want It, no guarantees

worthless cum in a sock

i might pop up occasionally to identify a piece of furniture or to provide inexpert yoga advice

worthless cum in a sock

but

being made, mostly unwittingly (you lean a little and...) into some sort of aspected "public figure" playing out in the collective psychodrama of a community that has

shall we say

Image

mixed intentions

has absolutely worsened pre-existing and very real tendencies toward self-destruction, self-hatred, the inability to trust other people, self-denial wrt creative practices, extreme behaviors, really very extreme behaviors, etc. impeding me from doing things i "might" want to do. discouraging, discouraging, discouraging, spiraling

"why the fuck do you even talk"

catch a snippet of text, catch somebody at their worst, catch someone in a vulnerable moment, maybe fundamentally misinterpret someone accidentally

maybe not so accidentally (when's the first time you thought about killing yourself? i can recall single digit stares at the slope of the stairs)

pad it out with the ideas you have about other people who fit the stereotype

stuff it full of hate and straw, get your kicks, light a match

and hope to god your boss or your ex or your ex boss or the fucker who cut you off in traffic, or the Ur fucker, whoever it is that first made you feel small and weak and incapable

smells your kill

please don't "toss me a hate follow"

that is near enough to stalking and a few of you have made attempts at that already (if a bell is ringing in your head right now please never direct your awareness toward me again, not even to apologize)

i grew up Online and the collective Online Other — always knowing, fucking god damn always knowing better, always chiding, forever superior, dismissive, over it — constitutes a fairly substantial voice in my head, and one that generally despises me

that Other and I been in a pretty long skullbound dialogue at this point and it's probably time to bore a hole and stop boring you assholes

though i don't make much use of them anymore and haven't in a pretty long while i get the vague itch like any other recovering addict for computers and the Internet and web forums in particular

so lord knows i'll probably haunt this a bit just like every month or so I check in on the mushbrained remains of like Usenet or the Straight Dope Message Board and some other WebRuins i cut my teeth on when i couldn't find IRL words worth hearing near enough to me (they're definitely not there anymore, they're here sometimes but then they try to induce Stochastic Suicide)

i will say that the handful of people i've actually met have been exceedingly kind and open and that in a general sense the self-deprecating nature of metacommentary re: "the board" as some malignant entity relative to "all text being entered into the Internet" is Head-Up-Ass perfect vs. good nonsense ("wow long post ok")

this is a place largely populated by thinking people with a willingness to adapt and that alone sets it in stark contrast to nearly any other place that features regular participation ("you hate to see it" embed embed embed embed)

the desire to excoriate yourself in a choir of group anguish is not helpful or attractive. you're at where you're at. these are fucked up times (freaking evergreen tweet) and it might be wise to wonder at the size and shape of the Battleship you're aiming to sink

the slump toward a sort of knowing buckled-in soft saggy apocalypse will seep into your consciousness and sap your will (and you immediately start formulating that joke, because you're fucked and you want to be)

anyway it has become increasingly apparent that i seemingly don't live or think in a way that is conducive to doing this anymore and i'm beyond tired of dancing with the mirrors i've made of faceless vipers telling me to shut the fuck up

"damn dude could never make sense of ur posts b—" Image

bang bang
Last edited by Sissy Spacerock on Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Debbie » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:30 pm

Hey what's up man
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Postby alaska » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:34 pm

getting away from whatever in your (broad "you" here) life is facilitating the voice in your head that says you deserve to die is the most important thing

sorry i sniped at you that time. its all so easy to get sucked into everything and im glad we worked it out (at least i feel like we worked it out) and ive reconsidered the way i engage on here since that interaction

but yeah nothign but respect for anyone who does what they need to do to keep the forces that want them to lose touch with the joy and wonder of the marvelous terrible gift that is being a feeling thinking animal from winning
Last edited by alaska on Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby antoine » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:34 pm

I don't like this new Mark Z. Danielewski novel
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Postby medicore bob dole gimmick » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:37 pm

internet-induced disappearance of old norms and emergence of new norms. subjective assessment: bad.
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Postby surly » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:38 pm

go away
lordofdiapers wrote:damn it Greedo will forever fuck that word for me
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:41 pm

surly wrote:go away


you're genuinely a fucking piece of shit and i'm not a good enough person not to want you to suffer

conveniently i'm also a sad enough person to know what my posts stacked thrice high and drizzled with piss smells like

fuck you
'
for real
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Postby shark week » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:42 pm

the diner around the corner from my house has a large framed photo of Guy Fieri suspended by four 10ft long metal wires in between foundation posts that prop up the main road-facing covered drivethru

this is of course because he featured them and signed their fridge on his Boise ep of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives
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Postby delgriffith » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:43 pm

alaska wrote:getting away from whatever in your (broad "you" here) life is facilitating the voice in your head that says you deserve to die is the most important thing

This
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:44 pm

woof
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:46 pm

anybody else want to tell me how much better than me they are?

like fuck i think i've belabored a point and then someone walks right up and hires it
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Postby office plant » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:48 pm

Denise wrote:Hey what's up man
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:48 pm

shark week wrote:the diner around the corner from my house has a large framed photo of Guy Fieri suspended by four 10ft long metal wires in between foundation posts that prop up the main road-facing covered drivethru

this is of course because he featured them and signed their fridge on his Boise ep of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives


that's sick
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Postby medicore bob dole gimmick » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:48 pm

Sissy Spacerock wrote:anybody else want to tell me how much better than me they are?

like fuck i think i've belabored a point and then someone walks right up and hires it


i'm interested in this

there is a trend on twitter where people are like, please no kudos or congrats, no "honored and humbled", no list of 10 ways to live better...it's all a form of status-signaling. Twitter is 80% this garbage.
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Postby Durham » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:49 pm

sissy I hope you feel better someday
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Postby internethandle » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:49 pm

Image
Image
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:51 pm

que chingon
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Postby Destroyevsky » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:52 pm

big fan Sissy, fuck the haters, and hope to see you here still
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Postby Debbie » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:58 pm

I also hate the haters
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Postby surly » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:58 pm

Denise wrote:I also hate the haters

liar
lordofdiapers wrote:damn it Greedo will forever fuck that word for me
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:00 pm

surly wrote:
Denise wrote:I also hate the haters

liar


since you're such a huge fan of gatekeeping would you like to show yourself the fuck out or would you prefer to continue following people around the board and encouraging self-harm?
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:01 pm

i know it's 10,000 pisses to a turd and you're trying to patty up to a Quad Stacker but seriously fuck off
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Postby Debbie » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:01 pm

Who will fight with me on the internet today
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:02 pm

Sissy Spacerock wrote:
surly wrote:
Denise wrote:I also hate the haters

liar


since you're such a huge fan of gatekeeping would you like to show yourself the fuck out or would you prefer to continue following people around the board and encouraging self-harm?


that's fucked up
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:03 pm

you appear to be some nice dude who doesn't really need to be doing this and i think you're in a diff weight division than me so if we're doing this it's probably a tag team situation
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:04 pm

when did you decide to become Addison
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:04 pm

john plainman 2 wrote:
Sissy Spacerock wrote:
surly wrote:
Denise wrote:I also hate the haters

liar


since you're such a huge fan of gatekeeping would you like to show yourself the fuck out or would you prefer to continue following people around the board and encouraging self-harm?


that's fucked up


hi if you ever want to say anything then get to it otherwise hit it "vague, yet above it all" sequel viper

EDITED TO ADD: i dont know what Addison is so i have not yet decided to become it

is it pills

EDITED (again) TO ADD:

instead of answering that consider finding a new source of entertainment
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:10 pm

my phone will die in a minute so I'll get back to drinking alone on the beach shortly. my quota for social stimuli has been met
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Postby Sissy Spacerock » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:11 pm

john plainman 2 wrote:my phone will die in a minute so I'll get back to drinking alone on the beach shortly. my quota for social stimuli has been met


follow fucking suit my dude
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Postby john plainman 2 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:12 pm

what are you looking for?
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