Have you ever scolded a stranger?

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Postby Organic Croutons » Tue Sep 15, 2020 11:45 pm

This is just an excuse for me to post this but it was incredibly satisfying. I think it’s one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.

I got on a super packaged subway train one morning where most people wouldn’t be able to fit and would have to wait for the next train, and this clean cut junior investment banker looking guy (I lived off 14th street in east village so he semi stood out in appearance vs the rest of us) took like 1 baby step into the middle of the door and just stood there leaving a 3-4 person sized gap in front of him, then not only that — he grabbed onto the pole to his right so was basically blocking anyone from stepping around him. A shorter lady crouched and went under his arm and I think I just lightly sort of crammed in. He had headphones on and I think I was feeling confrontational so I tapped his shoulder and was like “hey man, you need to fill in. That lady(I got to stick up for a sweet old lady instead of sticking up for myself lol) had to crouch under ur arm. You’ve gotta step in and fill the gaps.” And even though he had taken out an earpiece to see what I wanted he gave me like a shit eating grin and was like “what? What??” And put his headphone back In.

So there I am quasi fuming for one or two more stops standing right next to this guy and I’m leaning on the door while we’re moving and he’s a step or two in front of me. Low and behold his stop comes up before mine and he’s going to get off the train, and I lock my arm and hold the pole the same way he was so I’m basically blocking ~half the door(the half he needs) and he’s trying to get by me and get around me and I’m like “yeah man it’s sucks when people block the door doesn’t it? This sucks doesn’t it?” And kinda kept him stuck in front of me for 4-5 seconds before he did a spin move or something around me. This was like 5 years ago and I’m still so happy with myself.
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Postby Organic Croutons » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:03 am

Nyc gives you tons of opportunities to scold people if you have the inclination/aren’t scared of getting beat down. I see people litter almost every day which really pisses me off for some reason but I’ve only said something like twice out of 10,000 times.

I saw a woman smack her ~3 year old daughter in the face reasonably hard it seemed in south Williamsburg a week or so ago but thought that speaking up would be a tough proposition. She had 7-8 friends and neighbors around her and it was just me and it completely caught me off guard in the first place so I couldn’t gauge how hard of a slap it was and even if it was pretty hard wtf do I do. The girl was lightly crying before even being slapped and I think the mom slapped her to “stop crying”. What the fuck
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Postby Organic Croutons » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:06 am

Sorry, I know that’s disturbing and goes against the spirit of my post 1. It Fucked me up to see it. Already predicting getting mega flamed that I should’ve done something
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Postby polybius » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:28 am

the only scolding i ever do at strangers is purely online because i'm the size of a small child and would easily get my lights punched out
  
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Postby virile » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:31 am

nah man i got headphones on noise cancelling headphones
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Postby virtuous » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:41 am

Habitually.

I am the stranger scolder.
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Postby neuartillery » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:57 am

The times that come to mind from when my kids were little (like 1 to 2) and out somewhere playing and another kid was a violent jerk to them. I don't like telling other kids off but man when their parents finally realize their asshole kid is up to no good again, they hear it from me.

- When Neu! 15 was in that age, he was playing with his sister at the San Francisco Zoo on a big tree play structure, and some 5-6 year old shoved Neu! 15 off of a platform that was probably 2.5 to 3 feet up in the air and said something like "And I'll do it again if you come back up here."
- Similar age, Neu! 15 was playing in a pretend kitchen at an indoor play place and some slightly older kid just started shoving / punching him. I immediately intervened and asked the other kid where his parent was, and his mom came over and basically said "Oh boys will be boys, don't complain about it" and I wanted to dunk her in a toilet.

It's not remotely a surprise that most shit kids get that behavior from their shit parents.
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Postby clouds » Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:14 am

I'm not very confrontational but there's a good chance I'll get beaten up or killed in a remote area one day for screaming at someone for littering or hiking off-trail in a place you're not supposed to do that
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Postby clouds » Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:23 am

oh the other day I was walking down the sidewalk and scolded. our downtown has a bunch one way streets and some redneck bars that rednecks come in from the burbs/country to visit. they can't figure out the one way streets + they drive drunk. I see a guy in a truck approaching going the wrong way slowly and confusedly with the windows down as cars going the correct way pulled over and honked. I was just overwhelmed by this scene and stepped in front of him and asked if he was a fucking moron who was fucking kidding me. probably not the best idea but I was genuinely curious.
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Postby clouds » Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:32 am

Organic Croutons wrote:Sorry, I know that’s disturbing and goes against the spirit of my post 1. It Fucked me up to see it. Already predicting getting mega flamed that I should’ve done something


eh, I have seen this shit multiple times and a.) there's not much you can do and b.) people who hit their kids in public are probably most likely people to not give a fuck about hitting you and I don't get in fights as a habit

as far I know you can legally beat your kids fairly hard in my state
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Postby Getbetter » Wed Sep 16, 2020 10:48 am

Oh man I fucking love it . It usually happens when I'm traveling and it's people cutting lines . My favorite was coming back international and some german dude tried to cut infront of a bunch of us and I was , what you are better us ? More important than all of us?! How old are you seriously youre like 45 years old and your line cutting!? This tall dude just stopped arguing and got all sad then walked back of the line and everyone clapped like you see in movies.
I once did that in Israel, same thing, but this person wasn't going to move and this person checking passports on the way out who saw it, made that person move and gave me the crack whip motion with a huge smile.
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Postby ashtrayheart » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:00 am

last week i was outside with my family helping my older son pack for a week with his biological father and a car went speeding by; my street has way too much traffic and people are always speeding, going 30-40 mph even though the street is not very big and full of pot holes. anyway i was walking with my 1 year old and when i hear the car i immediately pick him up and put him on my shoulders, i look around at the car and i'm pretty pissed cuz he's going at least 30 mph and doesnt slow down at all despite seeing a family of 4 milling around (our street has no sidewalks) and as he passes my house my cat darts across the street and gets clipped by the car, who obviously realizes what happened because they slam on the breaks. like i saw sunee dart across the street in front of the car; at first i thought he full on crushed my cat so i yell out immediately "THAT GUY HIT SUNEE!!!" but suddenly sunee bursts out from under the car, then the car just speeds away without any sort of acknowledgment or inquiry or anything and I lost my temper pretty bad and yelled all kind of obscenities and scoldings. i really hate cars! I hate having to drive one.

turns out the cat was somehow fine, i dont know how she didnt get crushed i guess thats why they say cats have nine lives.
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Postby fester » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:03 am

i will scold the shit out of kids who are being dicks on the playground
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Postby Annie May » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:16 am

My first two years of biking in my city i got into a bunch of shouting matches with drivers. Now i don't do much more than glare at assholes having learned the hard way that drivers are homicidal maniacs. Still having someone behind me honk at me when i nearly always will pull over to let them pass at the end of the block makes me see red.
Last edited by Annie May on Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Annie May » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:19 am

The other day these drunk bros were having a football catch on the sidewalk and a dude jumped right in front of me into the street and i had to brake suddenly almost going over my handlebars. I had a delivery in my bag and it got all shaken up. I said 'you gotta look where you're going man' but i don't even know if he heard. If i had been a car he would've been toast
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Postby chowder julius » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:05 pm

i flipped out at a lady hitting her toddler at a nail salon my last day out doing normal things before quarantine. she'd been vaguely threatening him and just causing a scene the whole time, and then the toddler waddled over to me and she came over right in front of me and hit him and i lost it. screaming that she was a child abuser, and that i felt sorry for whatever she does to him when she's not in public. i was shaking

not the first time i've intervened when someone was hitting their kid in public but the most memorable. i've also shushed people in movie theaters, asked them to get up on the train and give their seat to someone else etc. not above enforcing the social contract when it's clear others are annoyed by it as well. feel some kind of obligation to be the one to do it as a nice white lady who is fairly protected from being like punched or whatever
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Postby chowder julius » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:09 pm

i used to be afraid to scold other ppl's kids but i will do that too if they're doing something that could get them or someone else hurt. i'm not going to confront any parents about their parenting style or whatever but i'll go kindergarten teacher mode and talk to kids about why they shouldn't run thru the aisles at the grocery store. my sister scolded some kids who were trying to get a deer to come to them at the campground
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Postby Poptone » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:18 pm

I don’t do much of this because I’m a giant coward

But I definitely tell people to clam it in theaters and if another driver does something egregious on the road i’ll Honk/flip them the bird/give a heavily sarcastic thumbs up to them. That, as was pointed out upthread, is how I will one day die.
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Postby hologram » Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:20 pm

Told the new tenant aka motorcycle man to not rev down our alleyway, you got old life timers within earshot around you plus 100 other neighbors, they don’t need that shit

Got mocked and cussed out of course (“I’ll be as loud as I want!!” lmao)

Then one more instance of running into him and his cronies loitering outside front with their bikes then waiting until I was down the block to yell “he’s jealous of your bike!”

Then I never saw him or heard his bike again

I’ve thought about it a lot since then and I sincerely think they went on a ride in the mountains and his cockiness got him into a fatal accident

But probably lost income due to covid I’m sure

But that karma would sure be sweet!
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Postby The Producer » Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:46 pm

constantly, it was worse before quarantine and much worse when I still drove and went to movie theaters all the time, but I still find endless opportunities (feels more like I’m a magnet for shitheads), I used to be the worst karen about ineptitude in employees but have become compassionate and patient the past 5 years as I’ve gotten lets say snoozebutton-woke so now the vitriol is all for my fellow karens and it has negative consequences for me and has impacted personal relationships and professional situations, but it’s all that works to alleviate my rage instead of me suffocating with it while some piece of shit and/or their fucking kid no one needed them to procreate ruptures how things are designed to function (which Im sick to my stomach now imagining), I still work on it in therapy but nothing helps as much as scolding, making it painful for them to be oblivious or express their personality via obnoxiousness which only signifies theirs isnt a personality worth expressing

Im filled with hatred and have no patience for behavior that isn’t situation/venue-appropriate, once I explode and it disrupts their disruption, I feel peaceful, calm, unburdened, and Im also very comfy with and accepting of others’ loss of temper and feel I know instinctually how to respond/react to that realness better than 99% of fakeass smalltalk abt sports or kids or what you fucking read on fb/twitter that day (which I’d love to scold too tbh)

a lot of what the rage in the moment can be is that no one else is taking action to address the problem before I have to and nothing sickens me more than when people try to reason with or relate to me after the fact, saying they’re also bothered but but but blahlbahlah so why dont you fucking do something about it or go have this whisper conversation with them, I can’t see my rudeness in scolding if the rudeness motivating my scolding isn’t first addressed or acknowledged as rudeness, the handful of times someone else has scolded before I could that person was my fucking hero, it’s not rude it’s heroic, scolders are HEROES
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Postby gauchebag » Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:48 pm

i do this a lot and seems to me like most people that live in new york city are not the timid souls that posted here in the other thread about being sheepish and apologizing for their infraction.

i don't do it so much anymore bc i really don't enjoy arguing with these pieces of shit. i've only been punched once and it was a sucker punch bullshit thing.

some asshole on my corner about a month ago walks right by a garbage can and drops his cheeto bag or whatever on the ground like 3 yards from it and i called him out. he turns around and says all menacingly "WHAT DID YOU SAY" - i said "you heard what i said and you know what you did was scummy, pick that shit up the ground is not yr trash can"

but he looked like he actually might fight me so i kept walking at a brisk pace and stopped engaging. i can't tell you how many utter jerkoffs i have reprimanded on the subway for their reprehensible behavior and i used to find it fun when they somehow had something to say to defend themselves but like i said, i don't generally bother as much anymore.

and also have to admit i am snickering a bit at the "junior investment banker" sticking out at 14th street - this is not 1967, 14th street is like petco and whole foods and i'm sure the rents are very high if you haven't lived there for decades. it's basically an extension of murray hill at this point right? but whatever helps you sleep at night
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Postby virtuous » Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:59 pm

doing this in minnesota is like having a super power. no one can believe it and it takes everything in them to not faint.
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Postby werd » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:00 pm

I used to play soccer with this group of guys who all knew each other really well but I didn’t know them. They had an ad on Craigslist and I wanted to play soccer so I joined them and they all seemed pretty decent

so we play together for about six months and then summer comes and we move the games outdoors and one day this guy shows up who hadn’t played with us before

partway through the game he starts saying the n word (everyone was white). First time he said it caught me off guard and I didn’t react but the second time I spoke up and asked him to “drop the casual racism”

it was super awkward and no one said anything for a bit. They stopped inviting me to soccer after that, turned out he was really good friends with all of those guys
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Postby ashtrayheart » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:04 pm

sounds like a group of losers
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Postby computer problems » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:15 pm

you should join a fight gym or something if yelling at people for littering is empowering
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Postby Tar Pit » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:20 pm

Asked some dude if he could back up since he was like a foot away from me during COVID. Didn't really even yell, but I probably looked irritated.
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Postby conductor » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:05 pm

Bikers on the sidewalk when there's an adjacent bike lane get no quarter
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Postby ᶦᵗᵗᶦᵉ ᵇᶦᵗᵗᶦᵉ ᵍᵘᵍᵍᶦᵉ ᵇᵘᵈᵈᶦᵉ » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:23 pm

conductor wrote:Bikers on the sidewalk when there's an adjacent bike lane get no quarter


If this is your thing you should also kick a dent into the door of every vehicle you pass that's parked in a bike lane.
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Postby tgk » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:03 pm

I used work at a movie theater and one time there was a woman who got a phone call, left the theater to take the call in the little vestibule area right outside the theater, and proceeded to have the loudest, angriest phone call I've ever heard, loud enough you clearly heard it over the movie. She was speaking French so I had no idea what was going on but the look she gave me when I asked her to go into lobby to finish her call was a doozy
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Postby conductor » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:08 pm

Lyle GugAire wrote:
conductor wrote:Bikers on the sidewalk when there's an adjacent bike lane get no quarter


If this is your thing you should also kick a dent into the door of every vehicle you pass that's parked in a bike lane.

Ok
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