HPN Movie Series: Devil's Diary, Wed @ 22 E

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:50 pm

Incredible, dan. You're simply the best! Truly the maddest OST yet.

I did forget that it was our anniversary, because I am the worst. However, let us celebrate, what, nine goddamn years with INSTAPSYCHO tonight! Consider it my last minute gas station flower gift purchase for you all. Please no divorce me.

Also, you still have many hours to listen to dan's latest masterpiece. So, please do!
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 16, 2020 2:51 pm

dan wrote:PRESENTING:


All previous OSTs still available here
Code: Select all

Another year of movie madness is in the books so it's time to celebrate with SOTMS Vol. 9. This year was positively loaded with great songs, so sit back, slap on the headphones, and take an audio trip down memory lane. As always I want to thank everyone who comes by to watch week after week for all laughs, for all the love, for all the collective groans, and for all the movie requests that have opened my eyes to worlds of cinema I never thought possible. I want to thank Trebbers for his work keeping classix going at a time when the extra nights of programming have been greatly needed and greatly appreciated. And most of all I thank Amp for keeping this whole operation alive, fun, and surprising (maybe baffling is a better word) after all these years.

Quoted for new page.
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Postby pretty yeoman » Wed Sep 16, 2020 3:22 pm

a.) DAN.

and b.)
Ampersand wrote:Please no divorce me.

no never
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:05 pm

2 hours!!!!
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:46 pm


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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:01 pm


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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:26 am

Code: Select all
[22:13] <@Ampersycho> 3
[22:13] <autarch> countdown please
[22:13] <@Ampersycho> 2
[22:13] <@Ampersycho> 1
[22:13] <autarch> oh crap
[22:13] <autarch> i think i missed it
[22:13] <@Ampersycho> exceptionally short motion picture
[22:13] <dan2> are the runtimes on each of the movies this month just going to get shorter and shorter
[22:13] <@Ampersycho> movie's over, buddy
[22:14] <@Ampersycho> L M N
[22:14] <@Ampersycho> My Daughter's Psycho Friend
[22:14] <dan2> oh man
[22:14] <dan2> Amp in action
[22:14] <@Ampersycho> wow flashing back to earlier today
[22:14] <@Ampersycho> lol
[22:14] <Trebbers> WHAT IS FILM
[22:14] <@Ampersycho> vewwy good
[22:14] <lhs> if this isn't set in valencia CA, someone fucked up
[22:14] <sike_oh_yeoman> Prof. Himbo
[22:14] <kayke> thick teacher
[22:14] <autarch> lol
[22:15] <kayke> thaddy
[22:15] <Trebbers> can I get 2:00
[22:15] <@Ampersycho> maddie, a lil too much strap
[22:15] <besoin> a good 26 year old kid
[22:15] <dan2> 2:00 NOW!
[22:15] <Trebbers> ty
[22:15] <autarch> welp
[22:15] <dan2> Skyler Stucky
[22:15] <autarch> mom's spaghetti
[22:15] <blacksugar> mean girl$
[22:15] <instadonna_> on her sweater
[22:15] == mancubz [webchat@kuut.u59l.brdo.ip] has joined #hpnmovieseries
[22:15] <autarch> oh my god
[22:15] <Trebbers> based on a story
[22:16] <besoin> oh yeah, this movie
[22:16] <sike_oh_yeoman> whoa she has a marching band?
[22:16] <@Ampersycho> here they come
[22:16] <mancubz> did it start?
[22:16] <dan2> da mean girlz
[22:16] <Trebbers> we are the carriers
[22:16] <mancubz> time??
[22:16] <besoin> 3:00
[22:16] <@Ampersycho> the Bratz
[22:16] <sike_oh_yeoman> just now mancubz, we're at 3:00
[22:16] <autarch> we are the warriors
[22:16] <autarch> we are the carriers
[22:16] <autarch> we are the warriors awooawooawoowawa
[22:16] <besoin> "i boxed those suckers"
[22:16] <@Ampersycho> trashygram
[22:17] <kayke> she didn't even tag her :o
[22:17] <instadonna_> can hardly tell this dialogue was written by adults
[22:17] <autarch> Pellen Age
[22:17] <@Ampersycho> my daughter's psycho friend is the laziest title
[22:17] <kayke> his capris
[22:17] <lhs> but buffalo tom is playing tonight
[22:17] <autarch> is he wearing a beret?
[22:17] <Trebbers> ahahha
[22:17] <@Ampersycho> My Neighbor Got Ate By a Shark
[22:18] <autarch> or is that his hair
[22:18] <besoin> pippen catalano
[22:18] <instadonna_> there's a LMN movie called cheerleader murdering mom
[22:18] <Trebbers> Yea very 1993 look
[22:18] <Bob511> Spring Breakdowns is a great event title, though.
[22:18] <blacksugar> young jonny greenwood
[22:18] <kayke> lord farquad hair
[22:18] <blacksugar> pre-head
[22:18] <@Ampersycho> "hey, youtube"
[22:18] <dan2> lol kayke
[22:18] <Trebbers> ha kayke
[22:18] <autarch> lol kayke
[22:18] <sike_oh_yeoman> was she briefly possessed by Renee Zell.?
[22:18] <besoin> this poor lady playing moms already
[22:18] <autarch> kristen bell is her mom?
[22:18] <Trebbers> that shirt
[22:19] <autarch> ac/dc shirt with checked blazer
[22:19] <mancubz> the costume person really loves pattern
[22:19] <instadonna_> that house is a fugly slut
[22:19] <dan2> I think the Lifetime pipeline is that you play a High Schooler when you're 24 and a mom when you're 28
[22:19] <sike_oh_yeoman> is this the grittiest a lifetime movie's ever been
[22:20] <mancubz> this girl's teeth are fantastic
[22:20] <instadonna_> sweat is just fat crying will live with me
[22:20] <autarch> she would be made fun of for this instagram irl, right?
[22:20] <sike_oh_yeoman> yeah I'm tainted
[22:20] <Trebbers> oh no
[22:20] <lhs> tears are just eyes sweating
[22:20] <autarch> like, she's not convincingly cool, right?
[22:20] <@Ampersycho> you can't rip a security tag off
[22:20] <Trebbers> YESYESYES
[22:20] <@Ampersycho> you need to burn it off with a lighter
[22:20] <besoin> 145 viewers. not bad.
[22:20] <mancubz> that bra fits like shit
[22:20] <Trebbers> hahah
[22:21] <autarch> did that go live?
[22:21] <blacksugar> stolen valor
[22:21] <@Ampersycho> a THIRTY DOLLAR bra
[22:21] <sike_oh_yeoman> is that the inside or the outside of the house
[22:21] <instadonna_> a $30 bra at nordstrom?
[22:21] <@Ampersycho> iron man money
[22:21] <kayke> in this economy
[22:21] <instadonna_> that's fake as fuck
[22:21] <autarch> her house looks like a pottery barn
[22:21] <besoin> don't worry, i have the giant pitcher of lemonade
[22:21] <instadonna_> there's no bra at norstrom for under $50
[22:22] <autarch> spaghetti is a low-tier noodle, imo
[22:22] <blacksugar> she's pretty cheeky for a new girl
[22:22] <mancubz> she's a foster kid
[22:22] <mancubz> they're all cheeks
[22:22] <Trebbers> Cajun seasoning on spaghetti no
[22:22] <lhs> dangerous spaghetti-eating shirt
[22:22] <sike_oh_yeoman> omg i love this seasoning lol #ethnic #potterybarnkitchen
[22:22] <autarch> that's why they call her the squirrel
[22:22] <instadonna_> damn her room
[22:22] <mancubz> they're whit ebut not like *white*
[22:22] <dan2> don't hate the player, hate the boobsweat
[22:23] <kayke> what if we started a babysitters club?
[22:23] <@Ampersycho> i need to learn from these gramming tips
[22:23] <mancubz> my cousin is a budding influencer
[22:23] <instadonna_> lol kayke
[22:23] <autarch> total boss sauce
[22:23] <mancubz> she works out a lot and is real hot and gets professional photos taken
[22:23] <Trebbers> ahahah
[22:23] <dan2> oh shittttt
[22:23] <autarch> this movie rules
[22:23] <dan2> HERO
[22:24] <instadonna_> i love LMN movies designed to scare parents
[22:24] <autarch> she's such a good protagonist
[22:24] <mancubz> can't believe this movie isn't called "suck it sasha"
[22:24] <besoin> they couldn't produce this movie fast enough to have it be about tiktok
[22:24] <autarch> i'm beaming
[22:24] <@Ampersycho> #SuckItSanta
[22:24] <instadonna_> ah yes, the dangerous library street corner
[22:24] <sike_oh_yeoman> plausible sequel, Amp
[22:24] <autarch> that's a different movie
[22:24] <lhs> my daughter's psycho friend
[22:24] <autarch> Stalked by my Sasha
[22:24] <@Ampersycho> the dreaded beer dick
[22:24] <dan2> Crustin Role
[22:24] <kayke> #suckitabusivefosterparents
[22:24] <autarch> dude
[22:24] <Trebbers> Stepdad makes viral gun unboxing videos
[22:25] <mancubz> ewwww jesus
[22:25] <instadonna_> what a role to audition for
[22:25] <lhs> stomp his dick into a flat circle
[22:25] <Trebbers> what
[22:25] <autarch> what is his deal?
[22:25] <Trebbers> this is sudden
[22:25] <Trebbers> He's a perv
[22:25] <Bob511> Cooler Light
[22:25] <@Ampersycho> Death Beer
[22:25] <@Ampersycho> Dimothee
[22:25] <dan2> lol
[22:26] <instadonna_> ofc he wants to go to nyu
[22:26] <mancubz> lol columbia is the backup
[22:26] <sike_oh_yeoman> "what's that look for?" "I just kinda saw yr 'do for the first time"
[22:26] <dan2> scared about failing the big Citizen Kane end of year test
[22:26] <instadonna_> this guy's monotone is gonna kill me
[22:27] <sike_oh_yeoman> did she...
[22:27] <autarch> ahahaha
[22:27] <besoin> "oh yeah, i killed danny"
[22:27] <kayke> somebody had to do it
[22:27] <autarch> Stolen By My Mother
[22:27] <Trebbers> If she tries to get grief followers
[22:27] <autarch> you're the one who's sensational, Mr. Teacher sir
[22:28] <sike_oh_yeoman> how is LMN not making Dr. Quads turn all the way around at the whiteboard
[22:28] <dan2> well, his body is a lot Cooler now
[22:28] <autarch> oh, she's Destiny's Child?
[22:28] <sike_oh_yeoman> oh no
[22:28] <@Ampersycho> #weirdocreep
[22:29] <mancubz> no that guy def should be dead
[22:29] <instadonna_> yeah it's not sad
[22:29] <Trebbers> yessss
[22:29] <instadonna_> amazing
[22:29] <blacksugar> oh shots fired
[22:29] <kayke> woa
[22:29] <dan2> ohhhhh
[22:29] <mancubz> ahahahahaha
[22:29] <blacksugar> again
[22:29] <kayke> okay
[22:29] <dan2> shit
[22:29] <Bob511> Ah
[22:29] <Trebbers> damn
[22:29] <@Ampersycho> ohhhh daaaamn
[22:29] <autarch> hell fuckin yeah
[22:29] <autarch> get her
[22:29] <@Ampersycho> score is incredible
[22:29] <mancubz> this girl is wild
[22:29] <blacksugar> shasha, fierce
[22:29] <dan2> smash that motherfucking like
[22:29] <autarch> that's the greatest post of all time
[22:29] <mancubz> wait does she just hate sasha bc she has a popular gram?
[22:29] <kayke> double shirt two days in a row
[22:29] <instadonna_> can we discuss his wig
[22:29] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol blacksugar
[22:30] <autarch> no, sasha used her for a weird insta post
[22:30] <sike_oh_yeoman> just like 2" longer or 4" shorter like wth
[22:30] <mancubz> dang redhead girl is so cute
[22:30] <sike_oh_yeoman> yeah mancubz sasha like sally struthers poor people porned her on IG
[22:30] <autarch> #
[22:30] <dan2> what is the it in #SuckItSasha supposed to be?
[22:31] <besoin> this guy looks like evan dando and kristen stewart had a kid
[22:31] <autarch> I love these protagonists
[22:31] <instadonna_> lol besoin
[22:31] <mancubz> i might take a screenshot of his hair into the salon kind of into it tbh
[22:31] <sike_oh_yeoman> beso nailed it
[22:31] <autarch> I don't give a SHIT about this dude
[22:31] <blacksugar> this guy is like young noel from british bake
[22:31] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:31] <autarch> he looks like kristen stewart's brother
[22:31] <sike_oh_yeoman> donny breenwood
[22:31] <blacksugar> heh
[22:31] <mancubz> he's gonna get killed or at least maimed isn't he
[22:31] <besoin> we can hope
[22:31] <autarch> i hope
[22:32] <besoin> but i think this is all what's her name's show
[22:32] <sike_oh_yeoman> is LMN different enough from Lifetime, like the score and production on this are so different
[22:32] <Bob511> Well, and whatever that smoke is everywhere.
[22:32] <dan2> everyone get ready for my new band, Death Donut
[22:32] <sike_oh_yeoman> they shot this in Oregon last weekend
[22:32] <kayke> lol dan
[22:33] <blacksugar> huh mom is single
[22:33] <besoin> the outside was green screened
[22:33] <dan2> god yes
[22:33] <autarch> these difficult times
[22:33] <blacksugar> my 16yo son is like, yeah this is how it is
[22:34] <@Ampersycho> if you're not helping, you're hurting
[22:34] <autarch> "what if i fart"
[22:34] <instadonna_> bs your son could write scripts
[22:34] <autarch> It's the pawn star
[22:34] <besoin> "my mom knows nic cage"
[22:34] <blacksugar> I should take notes
[22:34] <dan2> GREEN KWEEN
[22:34] <autarch> This is war
[22:34] <instadonna_> this is amzing
[22:34] <autarch> Thundeh
[22:34] <dan2> this is amazing
[22:34] <@Ampersycho> we are the grammers
[22:34] <blacksugar> lol aut
[22:34] <@Ampersycho> chonk
[22:34] <instadonna_> how does she have a crush on dad bod
[22:34] <sike_oh_yeoman> ah that's who the chonky brass section is for
[22:35] <kayke> like I get that I find him attractive, but why does she?
[22:35] <lhs> yeah, why does she like him when she has this sweet idiot to love
[22:35] <@Ampersycho> it's just a post, and i liked it
[22:35] <blacksugar> ok daniel day loser
[22:35] <autarch> why is he defending sasha
[22:35] <sike_oh_yeoman> heh amp
[22:35] <instadonna_> why is he upset over one fucking post
[22:35] <autarch> break up so  you can devote more time to #SuckItSasha
[22:35] <dan2> you could see the top 1/3 of her boob that's why
[22:36] <instadonna_> yes and that's dumb dan
[22:36] <@Ampersycho> mom's string of garlic bulbs hair
[22:36] <sike_oh_yeoman> "what if you guys just went to the New York-themed wing of the house?"
[22:36] <kayke> dad would say "suck it sasha"
[22:36] <autarch> "I'm happy he's dead"
[22:36] <sike_oh_yeoman> does her necklace say "suck it sasha"?
[22:36] <dan2> whoa some Sun Chips sponcon
[22:36] <lhs> i'm sorey
[22:36] <besoin> she's going to be posting tiktoks of her nyu quarantine food over the credits
[22:37] <autarch> I'm Sore
[22:37] <blacksugar> "thanks kurt"
[22:37] <Trebbers> #suckitkurt
[22:37] <autarch> damn
[22:37] <@Ampersycho> how do you get a 48
[22:37] <besoin> "kelly, you know nothing about citizen kane"
[22:37] <blacksugar> gonna be more like #suckitkelly
[22:37] <instadonna_> i once got a 37
[22:37] <kayke> kelly wrote her citizen kane essay on the part where there's a bird on screen
[22:37] <autarch> your friend lapped you, kelly
[22:37] <sike_oh_yeoman> Chris Praxis
[22:37] <Bob511> Heh
[22:37] <Trebbers> the work
[22:38] <Bob511> Totally hip
[22:38] <besoin> "sir...i...can't afford criterion channel"
[22:38] <mancubz> lol what a dick
[22:38] <lhs> heh
[22:38] <Trebbers> oh no
[22:38] <@Ampersycho> weird
[22:38] <kayke> weird photo to fraaame
[22:38] <lhs> oh no he's team sasha
[22:38] <autarch> yeah
[22:38] <besoin> i doubt kelly would put up with this
[22:38] <dan2> sash yer step
[22:39] <Trebbers> ah
[22:39] <sike_oh_yeoman> she's gonna use the Mr. Davenport thing and it's gonna be ugly
[22:39] <autarch> wait
[22:39] <autarch> alpha move, sash
[22:39] <besoin> it's gonna get a lot crazier than that, based on the trailer
[22:39] <blacksugar> sweet
[22:39] <dan2> this was no accident
[22:39] <sike_oh_yeoman> we are the worriers
[22:39] <kayke> warriors, come out to plaaay
[22:39] <@Ampersycho> Sounds of the Movie Series Vol. 10
[22:39] <autarch> oh my god
[22:39] <dan2> no way
[22:39] <autarch> here we gooo
[22:39] <instadonna_> omg
[22:39] <mancubz> wow
[22:39] <besoin> how did kelly get them to do this
[22:40] <lhs> suck it on
[22:40] <blacksugar> oh no they di'int
[22:40] <mancubz> this is so rude
[22:40] <mancubz> oh it's the cutie redhead
[22:40] <sike_oh_yeoman> school-sanctioned bullying
[22:40] <mancubz> w/e she's so cute she can do w/e
[22:40] <@Ampersycho> neeeeeedle drop
[22:40] <kayke> we are the cheerleaders
[22:40] <dan2> man I hated when the cheerleaders did that to me
[22:40] <dan2> every day
[22:40] <autarch> too rah ooh rah ooh rah ooh rah rah
[22:40] <Trebbers> A boomerang?
[22:40] <Trebbers> Is that real
[22:40] <@Ampersycho> take a boobagram
[22:41] <mancubz> uhhhh shouldn't she be saying a boom?
[22:41] <besoin> sure it's real
[22:41] <dan2> spin beautiful!
[22:41] <mancubz> yeah it's real
[22:41] <Bob511> It's an IG thing, I think?
[22:41] <autarch> did she hashtag that one?
[22:41] <mancubz> some of my friends do so many booms of them cheersing
[22:41] <besoin> you damned boomers
[22:41] <@Ampersycho> "i killed a guy"
[22:42] <kayke> eyes on the road
[22:42] <sike_oh_yeoman> right it's giving me anxiety kayke
[22:42] <mancubz> how many died?!
[22:42] <blacksugar> a parent never, ever admits things like this in front of the kids
[22:42] <kayke> "back in my day, we did it for the vine"
[22:42] <lhs> heh
[22:42] <blacksugar> "one night I stayed up all night studying"
[22:42] <dan2> "hold on...WHAT it Sasha?"
[22:43] <autarch> principal DKR
[22:43] <dan2> there was a don't text and drive poster up earlier
[22:43] <besoin> the mom treats them like they're 13
[22:44] <mancubz> omg madeline's double stripe patterns
[22:44] <@Ampersycho> soundtrack by Crumbatics
[22:44] <instadonna_> yes i'm sure the foster mom cares about this
[22:44] <mancubz> these patterns are out of control
[22:44] <sike_oh_yeoman> heh Amp
[22:44] <autarch> yes you do
[22:44] <autarch> her outfit is really good
[22:44] <autarch> the stripes
[22:44] <autarch> caught red handed
[22:44] <besoin> PARIS
[22:44] <instadonna_> i'm into her patterns tbh
[22:45] <autarch> her patterns are great!
[22:45] <kayke> mom should cyber bully her daughter to show her what it's like
[22:45] <mancubz> didn't that happen before?
[22:45] <mancubz> Irl
[22:45] <Trebbers> haahh
[22:45] <sike_oh_yeoman> Killian Durphy
[22:45] <besoin> she could start with a photo of her basic ass room
[22:45] <dan2> kayke you just sold a screenplay to lifetime
[22:45] <mancubz> some mom was caught cyberbullying a kid (it may also have been a LMN movie)
[22:45] <autarch> she rules
[22:45] <autarch> (kelly, not that mom)
[22:45] <blacksugar> yeah didn't that mom bully a girl into suicide?
[22:46] <kayke> oh no
[22:46] <Trebbers> Cliff walk video!
[22:46] <besoin> now that's a sounds of the shitflixe
[22:46] <kayke> third friend i underrated
[22:46] <kayke> *is
[22:46] <autarch> i agree
[22:46] <sike_oh_yeoman> concur
[22:46] <sike_oh_yeoman> SCHMEALTH
[22:47] <besoin> score is delightfully out of control
[22:47] <sike_oh_yeoman> it's wonderful
[22:47] <autarch> instaTycho
[22:47] <mancubz> omg i do not wanna watch this part
[22:47] <sike_oh_yeoman> help I need a geologist
[22:47] <Trebbers> 3rd friend is gonna die
[22:47] <dan2> aha autarch
[22:47] <blacksugar> too soon yeoman
[22:47] <sike_oh_yeoman> no not 3rd friend
[22:47] <sike_oh_yeoman> oh fuck that was not the joke, bs, sorry
[22:47] <@Ampersycho> instadeath
[22:48] <autarch> noooo
[22:48] <mancubz> yeah 3rd friend has to die
[22:48] <kayke> :(
[22:48] <autarch> don't die
[22:48] <mancubz> has she even been around before this
[22:48] <kayke> she's too good
[22:48] <Trebbers> yeah
[22:48] <blacksugar> I can do this, whatever it is
[22:48] <autarch> this is where they've lost me
[22:48] <besoin> what is the task here exactly
[22:48] <autarch> either way, this is gnna be the best insta post ever
[22:49] <Trebbers> nopenopenope
[22:49] <autarch> "Suck it sash!" [immediately dies]
[22:49] <besoin> goodbye sweet ava
[22:49] <@Ampersycho> shoe immediately falls off
[22:49] <autarch> get a good pic
[22:49] <Trebbers> WHAT DID YOU DO
[22:49] <autarch> omg
[22:50] <instadonna_> oh man she's setting you up maddie
[22:50] <Trebbers> Double grounded
[22:50] <mancubz> gosh dang it
[22:50] <mancubz> things escalated so quickly
[22:50] <besoin> ava wishes
[22:50] <autarch> yeah kelly went from hero to zero
[22:50] <autarch> so fast
[22:50] <instadonna_> how is it dark?
[22:50] <blacksugar> they went and got dinner
[22:50] <@Ampersycho> ava for nighta
[22:50] <Bob511> Eva fell all the way into another state.
[22:50] <Trebbers> aahh
[22:50] <autarch> no bars
[22:51] <besoin> no one knows that
[22:51] <blacksugar> "oh crap, I'm still filming"
[22:51] <autarch> shit
[22:52] <lhs> finders keepers
[22:52] <blacksugar> heh
[22:52] <autarch> grooossss
[22:52] <blacksugar> her jacket was pretty cute
[22:52] <kayke> what if a group of kids... stand by each other
[22:52] <Trebbers> Fake suicide note time
[22:52] <autarch> the tangerine jacket? yeah
[22:53] <instadonna_> if you're grounded?
[22:53] <sike_oh_yeoman> omg the sad hashtag delivery
[22:53] <blacksugar> this is some a+ social media strategy
[22:53] <instadonna_> what .... it's not like you'er on parol
[22:53] <besoin> [solemnly] "hashtag suckitsasha"
[22:53] <autarch> ah yes, posting when it's dark out
[22:53] <autarch> when the video shows it's light out
[22:53] <autarch> for a supposedly dead person
[22:53] <dan2> *cut to grave with #SuckItSasha etched on it*
[22:53] <kayke> #latestagram
[22:53] <instadonna_> RIPstagram
[22:54] <sike_oh_yeoman> *lamp clicks on*
[22:54] <Trebbers> Gone for 12 hours
[22:54] <blacksugar> you can tell the parts where tarantino script-doctored (the feet)
[22:54] <autarch> when your mom finds out you killed your friend, you're gonna be so grounded
[22:54] <lhs> mom would recognize red river mud anywhere
[22:54] <instadonna_> double secret grounded
[22:55] <blacksugar> mom's wearing kiss shorts underneath the table
[22:55] <Trebbers> ahahha
[22:55] <sike_oh_yeoman> mom's *this* close to wearing a batman shirt under a blazer
[22:55] <besoin> opsec, maddie
[22:55] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:55] <autarch> lol
[22:55] <instadonna_> wow didn't even try to hide the evidence
[22:55] <autarch> her color coordinating is solid though
[22:55] <besoin> those jeans fit like hell
[22:55] <autarch> that's maddie's worst outfit by a mile
[22:56] <sike_oh_yeoman> it's her mourning mauve
[22:56] <instadonna_> subtle
[22:56] <Trebbers> "My iPhone 3G wont open instagram"
[22:56] <dan2> big test on Wyler Red River
[22:56] <mancubz> how come lifetime movies are never about boys getting into trouble
[22:56] <blacksugar> every man in this has a dad bod
[22:57] <kayke> I saw she tweeted about like... being dead or something?? look into it.
[22:57] <mancubz> it's all like "moms, your daughter is about to be soooo naughty"
[22:57] <blacksugar> and button down collars ewe
[22:57] <instadonna_> Officer Poor Man's Paul Dano
[22:57] <autarch> we just watched Deadly Runway, cubz
[22:57] <besoin> he doesn't seem very surprised
[22:57] <Trebbers> Sultry Schwimmer energy
[22:57] <autarch> (about male model who gets stalked by his photographer)
[22:57] <mancubz> olive skin? lol
[22:58] <sike_oh_yeoman> consider the target demographic i guess
[22:58] <dan2> more like odead skin now
[22:58] <kayke> is it a wig or is it his hair
[22:58] <autarch> olive skin was in the script before they cast her
[22:58] <lhs> looks like his hair
[22:58] <mancubz> lol omg how many ppl has she made fall off cliffs
[22:58] <kayke> i thought it looked like a wig earlier, but yeah I saw scalp in that shot
[22:59] <autarch> Sasha going to juvie
[22:59] <dan2> all killer, no filter
[22:59] <besoin> think of the content, sasha
[22:59] <Trebbers> ahahhah
[22:59] <mancubz> wait how did they know
[22:59] <dan2> love how many of these films this month have brought up pranks
[22:59] <Trebbers> Got an tip
[22:59] <blacksugar> because #sashasucks
[22:59] <autarch> chocolate-covered shoes? you're getting an F in home ec
[22:59] <kayke> oh she has sasha's hair pins
[22:59] <besoin> this is like when tati tried to take down james charles. it's going to come back on kelly too.
[23:00] <kayke> bye sister
[23:00] <mancubz> sasha is sucking it for real
[23:00] <mancubz> omg killer grandma?!?
[23:00] <autarch> well...
[23:00] <dan2> amp
[23:00] <mancubz> is that on the docket??
[23:00] <dan2> bookmark it!
[23:00] <autarch> amp please, we still have plenty of september left
[23:00] <besoin> that's true, maddie
[23:01] <sike_oh_yeoman> loooong septemberrrrr
[23:01] <@Ampersycho> hahah i'll check it out
[23:01] <blacksugar> do they own a suit of armor?
[23:01] <autarch> the eternal september
[23:01] <kayke> mom is a knight
[23:02] <autarch> shit just got real
[23:02] <kayke> that's a big spider plant
[23:02] <sike_oh_yeoman> mom's braid is 1 week from retiring from warrior princess adventures
[23:02] <kayke> mom should use her ice powers
[23:03] <kayke> "just let it go"
[23:03] <lhs> watch her boomerangs forever
[23:03] <mancubz> shoulda made a boom of her falling
[23:03] <besoin> was about to say that, heh
[23:03] <Bob511> This is a true crime IG now.
[23:04] <Trebbers> 'Our beautiful angel'
[23:04] <autarch> hahaha
[23:04] <autarch> indiegogo
[23:04] <sike_oh_yeoman> what's the expert guidance on her choker game
[23:04] <mancubz> she knows how much america loves true crime
[23:04] <dan2> to pay for the funeral, and for a billboard that says #SuckItSasha
[23:04] <Bob511> Ha
[23:04] <Trebbers> ah
[23:04] <autarch> that's too many chokers, imo. one is enough.
[23:04] <mancubz> no way not true
[23:05] <autarch> she had like 8 chokers
[23:05] <autarch> her neck looked like saturn
[23:05] <mancubz> girl likes danger how else would we know
[23:05] <autarch> true
[23:05] <Bob511> Did Facebook underwrite this entire movie?
[23:05] <@Ampersycho> yesfilter
[23:05] <kayke> i think it might be one complex choker
[23:06] <kayke> or actually a piece of string
[23:06] == instadonna_ [webchat@cloak-45p9xd9k.hsd1.dc.comcast.net] has quit [Ping timeout]
[23:06] <Trebbers> Mom leaves a period after a sentence and gets found out
[23:06] <blacksugar> uh oh donna just got took out
[23:06] <mancubz> suck it donna
[23:06] <Trebbers> ahhah
[23:07] <sike_oh_yeoman> all caps, must be true
[23:07] <Trebbers> hahahaha
[23:07] <besoin> uh oh
[23:07] <Trebbers> next level
[23:07] <Trebbers> Agent of chaos
[23:07] <blacksugar> whoa
[23:07] <kayke> wow
[23:07] <mancubz> ahahahahah
[23:07] <dan2> soundtrack by OPN
[23:07] <mancubz> holy shit
[23:07] <@Ampersycho> instamom
[23:07] <autarch> kelly is good
[23:07] <sike_oh_yeoman> chaotic evil
[23:07] <besoin> we need kelly, eric roberts, and DMHC lady to square off
[23:07] <autarch> DMHC lady was so damn good
[23:08] <autarch> but eric is king
[23:08] <sike_oh_yeoman> if lifetime/lmn knew what was good for them they'd do it
[23:08] <lhs> eric better keep his hands off tanya >:(
[23:08] <mancubz> ahaha he sniffed it
[23:08] <Trebbers> Several movies with panty planting plots
[23:08] <besoin> "yes, that's polly pocket perfume"
[23:08] <autarch> what
[23:09] <kayke> poor thaddy
[23:09] <autarch> He's a good man and he would never
[23:09] <Trebbers> "But we haven't finished week 2 on Shawshank!?"
[23:09] <besoin> [pa announcement] the third and fourth reels of citizen kane will be postponed
[23:09] <kayke> he just want to teach kids about uuh... movies I guess
[23:09] <Bob511> Suspended?
[23:09] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol
[23:09] <dan2> lol besoin
[23:09] <autarch> wait why is she getting punished for this?
[23:09] <mancubz> oh shit i love that pink satin whatever
[23:09] <kayke> throw down on sight
[23:09] <autarch> get her ass, maddie
[23:10] <dan2> I swear they put a wildcat roar in the sound mix
[23:10] <dan2> go back and listen
[23:10] <sike_oh_yeoman> I think I heard that too dan2
[23:10] <autarch> maybe be like "wait, what?"
[23:10] <mancubz> didn't she just try to tell you mom?
[23:10] <mancubz> listen mom! no! when we get home you're gonna tell me stuff!
[23:10] <Bob511> Like, they're letting him just walk away?
[23:10] <sike_oh_yeoman> "we can't talk until the script says so"
[23:11] <autarch> go maddie
[23:11] <lhs> fired on the day he wore his olive garden color scheme outfit
[23:11] <besoin> kurt's been motionless there for 6 hours
[23:11] <sike_oh_yeoman> it's where kurt charges
[23:11] <autarch> really? him?
[23:11] <@Ampersycho> does he live in the bleachers
[23:11] <mancubz> what a weird meeting place they have
[23:11] <kayke> arby's
[23:11] <@Ampersycho> lol
[23:11] <sike_oh_yeoman> "it's the bleachers at the private school"
[23:11] <besoin> instagram created this problem, instagram will have to solve it
[23:11] <lhs> heh
[23:12] <Trebbers> Climax at the show house
[23:12] <Trebbers> lots of room
[23:12] <sike_oh_yeoman> yeah there's a whole wing of the house that's The Docks
[23:12] <kayke> her shirt is so shimmery
[23:12] <Trebbers> or the big listing house
[23:12] <lhs> how many barbie bedspreads had to die to make that jacket
[23:12] <kayke> i want to use it to decorate my nest
[23:12] <Trebbers> oh here we go
[23:12] <sike_oh_yeoman> nice Trebbs
[23:12] <autarch> woah, a cheesecake factory?
[23:12] <mancubz> kurt is so like chipper rn
[23:13] <autarch> sasha's dad is there
[23:14] <lhs> locker opens and 400 old phones pour out
[23:14] <Trebbers> olololoo
[23:14] <autarch> i'm telling you, kurt looks like kristen stewart
[23:14] <mancubz> oh i had a friend named kelly ryan in hs
[23:14] <Trebbers> WHY SHOULD WE TRUST YOU?!
[23:14] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol the Both Sides chat
[23:14] <besoin> how many viewers did she have? i forgot to look
[23:15] <dan2> weird how many of her followers seem to be adult men based on the profile pics
[23:15] <mancubz> one time i snuck into her house and hid under her bed while she was showering and waited till she was dressed and then creeped out and scared the shit out of her
[23:15] <autarch> literally?
[23:15] <autarch> did she crap?
[23:15] <mancubz> hahaha no
[23:15] <mancubz> i'm shocked she wasn't actually mad at me
[23:15] <dan2> Mr. D likes it messy
[23:16] <Bob511> "Can I offer you a Cooler Light?"
[23:16] <Trebbers> ah
[23:16] <Trebbers> "how do we police the cyber?"
[23:16] <besoin> kurt you fucking idiot
[23:16] <mancubz> hahah couldn't he have waited like 2 more minutes
[23:16] <mancubz> the cyber police, duh
[23:16] <besoin> the caper music
[23:17] <autarch> :salute:
[23:17] <mancubz> she walks in and just says...
[23:17] <mancubz> SUCK IT SASHA
[23:17] <autarch> just suck it, please
[23:17] <kayke> sasha also has a creepily empty room, they should bond over that
[23:18] <@Ampersycho> my friend is an instapsycho, get me out of here!
[23:18] <besoin> just spitballing here, but, maybe, hashtag suck it...kelly?
[23:18] <sike_oh_yeoman> Hilary Clinton in apartment vibes
[23:18] <autarch> this soundtrack was done by Zac Efron's character in We Are Your Friends
[23:18] <Trebbers> owah
[23:18] <mancubz> ahahaha
[23:18] <lhs> gotta check her boat funds
[23:18] <mancubz> oh shi
[23:18] <@Ampersycho> hmm
[23:18] <kayke> what's the play here?
[23:18] <@Ampersycho> what was the plan there
[23:18] <blacksugar> smash
[23:18] <Bob511> Can't believe Sasha snuck into her foster home and bludgeoned her best friend's mom.
[23:18] <Trebbers> Just hulked out there
[23:19] <mancubz> derk is so strong
[23:19] <besoin> kurt has a full suite of dongles
[23:19] <mancubz> is his name derk?
[23:19] <Trebbers> 7890
[23:19] <mancubz> dirk?
[23:19] <Trebbers> Script flipped
[23:19] <autarch> Kurt
[23:19] <lhs> kurt
[23:19] <autarch> Kirk
[23:19] <besoin> does that chair thing ever work
[23:19] <sike_oh_yeoman> I mean at this point she's gotta skip town right
[23:19] <autarch> Kurd
[23:19] <Trebbers> Dirkt
[23:19] <autarch> wait, i think it's Dirt
[23:20] <sike_oh_yeoman> SeLMNected Ambient Works
[23:20] <Trebbers> aha
[23:20] <lhs> instagram suspends all their accounts
[23:20] <mancubz> no just go straight to the cops
[23:20] <autarch> got her
[23:20] <@Ampersycho> cops don't gram
[23:20] <kayke> if you don't want us to dm the police
[23:20] <mancubz> what will happen if you meet up
[23:20] <mancubz> like...
[23:21] <blacksugar> they might kiss
[23:21] <mancubz> i guess maybe never call the cops?
[23:21] <autarch> Kelly "Cryin'" Ryan
[23:21] <mancubz> lol bs
[23:21] <besoin> wasn't that a post to all of sasha's followers
[23:21] <mancubz> i want flashes of kelly's old life
[23:21] <mancubz> like how wild this bitch was even before this
[23:21] <blacksugar> lol I was thinking that danny's body is still in the chair
[23:21] <autarch> Killy Ryan
[23:21] <kayke> she started by cyber bullying cats
[23:21] <autarch> her greatest hits
[23:22] <lhs> the idea of that is making me really sad, kayke
[23:22] <kayke> it's okay, cats can't read
[23:22] <@Ampersycho> #SuckItLilBub
[23:22] <mancubz> or type on phones
[23:22] <Trebbers> Nothing major, just giving cats eating disorders
[23:22] <autarch> wait, where is mom?
[23:22] <blacksugar> moms looking around thinking, I could get 200k for this
[23:23] <Trebbers> POLICE
[23:23] <mancubz> psycho bff up next?
[23:23] <sike_oh_yeoman> tell me she uses a real estate agent trick to get outta that closet
[23:23] <mancubz> wow this was part of a whole psycho friend marathon
[23:23] <blacksugar> man I wanna see psycho bff
[23:23] <autarch> not much room to poop and fart in that closet :(
[23:23] <Trebbers> Mom strength
[23:23] <besoin> like baking cookies to attract help?
[23:23] <sike_oh_yeoman> how could you marathon these movies
[23:23] <kayke> the trick is the people's elbow
[23:23] <@Ampersycho> The Mom of Amontillado
[23:23] <autarch> she's snapping into a slim jim
[23:23] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol
[23:23] <mancubz> mom watched kill bill a lot
[23:23] <sike_oh_yeoman> heh @ everyone
[23:24] <@Ampersycho> want to again recommend that everyone subscribe to the Lifetime Movie Club
[23:24] <lhs> call officer hairline
[23:24] <besoin> there's the volvo
[23:24] <sike_oh_yeoman> Amp is that a thing?
[23:24] <@Ampersycho> like 4 bucks a month for access to like 200 films
[23:24] <autarch> Is Mr. D gonna get his job back?
[23:24] <@Ampersycho> new films added every week
[23:24] <sike_oh_yeoman> wow
[23:25] <dan2> I'm assuming the 200 films are just the "Stalked by my ___" series alone
[23:25] <@Ampersycho> pretty much
[23:25] <@Ampersycho> it's a good mix of all the Lifetime decades
[23:25] <besoin> they're waterproof now
[23:25] <@Ampersycho> highly recommended
[23:25] <blacksugar> she couldn't carry a dime in those pockets
[23:25] <autarch> don't go in arm's length
[23:26] <autarch> sasha don't offer yourself up like that
[23:26] <blacksugar> lol sasha is the voice of reason
[23:26] <sike_oh_yeoman> yessss
[23:26] <besoin> they're definitely not recording
[23:26] <blacksugar> apocalypse lt8
[23:27] <sike_oh_yeoman> this is out of control
[23:27] <kayke> and I chimed in with haven't these people ever heard of
[23:27] <mancubz> she let go on purpose?
[23:27] <Trebbers> "I couldn't hold on to her and post at the same time"
[23:27] <mancubz> ahahaha
[23:27] <@Ampersycho> i did it .... for the gram
[23:27] <autarch> god she's dumb
[23:27] <autarch> 6k?
[23:27] <besoin> go for broke and kill all three of them
[23:27] <sike_oh_yeoman> 6k but no cops
[23:28] <dan2> Kurt to the rescue
[23:28] <mancubz> kurt took that video from very fuckin far
[23:28] <autarch> yo, she could get sponsored
[23:28] <Bob511> Filming from the county over.
[23:28] <Trebbers> hhey hey
[23:28] <mancubz> wow mom is a very patient lady
[23:28] <sike_oh_yeoman> there's a weird space-time-continuum  thing in this canyon
[23:28] <autarch> it's mommy time
[23:28] <besoin> i mean, her goose is pretty cooked, mom
[23:28] <lhs> i said hey, what's going on
[23:28] <mancubz> is mom gonna die
[23:28] <sike_oh_yeoman> she's gonna deck her
[23:28] <blacksugar> we can start over, with you in jail
[23:28] <@Ampersycho> "i can buy you a 50 dollar bra"
[23:28] <Trebbers> gonna jump
[23:28] <autarch> well maybe she'll just go to juvie for a year
[23:28] <mancubz> no there aren't
[23:28] <mancubz> hahaha
[23:28] <mancubz> no she doesn't
[23:29] <Bob511> Did she murder her husband in a previous Lifetime movie?
[23:29] <besoin> the rich people are circling the wagons
[23:29] <autarch> Cryin Ryan
[23:29] <blacksugar> kelly is literally alone
[23:29] <autarch> there she is
[23:29] <sike_oh_yeoman> "I know it just wasn't your Destuny"
[23:29] <kayke> can you adopt someone who is in jail?
[23:29] <Trebbers> hmm
[23:29] <mancubz> this tender mom moment is DEF gonna go viral
[23:29] <mancubz> mom is gonna get so much gofundme $$
[23:29] <blacksugar> mom's gonna use that video on her tinder gallery
[23:29] <sike_oh_yeoman> the elegaic keyboards of the carceral state claiming another life
[23:29] <lhs> i read that subtitle as [handcuffs dick]
[23:29] <Trebbers> #FierceCompassion
[23:30] <@Ampersycho> "you did it. you pulled iron man numbers"
[23:30] <autarch> this track was from the last DJ Healer
[23:30] <besoin> ehh, that was evidence
[23:30] <@Ampersycho> soooooolidarity forever
[23:30] <dan2> lol
[23:30] <mancubz> oh man the real money is in filming murder confessions
[23:30] <sike_oh_yeoman> the kids are just gonna live in the woods now
[23:30] <mancubz> i wonder if that's a hashtag? #secretmurderconfessions
[23:30] <besoin> all the rich kids get to go to prom and nyu
[23:30] <blacksugar> she looks beautiful for her arraignment
[23:30] <mancubz> is she wearing a cardigan to prom
[23:30] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol
[23:31] <mancubz> lmao he's wearing a columbia themed jacket
[23:31] <kayke> his formal capris
[23:31] <autarch> how is ms reynolds single?
[23:31] <sike_oh_yeoman> she's a badass
[23:31] <@Ampersycho> i thought it would be her teacher at the door
[23:31] <besoin> that dress is awful
[23:31] <mancubz> she's also a baaaabe
[23:31] <blacksugar> LOL
[23:31] <autarch> amp no
[23:31] <mancubz> lmao amp
[23:31] <@Ampersycho> oh my gorsh
[23:31] <mancubz> wow post it on ig
[23:31] <autarch> er, Yesterday?
[23:32] <@Ampersycho> gonnapostit?
[23:32] <autarch> no, Sunday
[23:32] <sike_oh_yeoman> I don't know shit about fashion but that dress is hellish
[23:32] <mancubz> yeah it's v bad
[23:32] <autarch> that's the car from Text To Kill
[23:32] <mancubz> so is her posture ugh
[23:32] <besoin> where does she work
[23:32] <mancubz> this car is actually behind all the online-driven murder
[23:32] <autarch> she really went from fashion hero to fashion zero over the course of the movie
[23:32] <mancubz> is he gonna break up w her lol
[23:32] <@Ampersycho> hay
[23:32] <blacksugar> "umm yeah, that would be uh cool if you visited me, a high schooler, while I'm in colege"
[23:33] <@Ampersycho> "i love Youtube"
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> "...in New York."
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> lol amp
[23:33] <kayke> cool so did mr butt get his job back
[23:33] <autarch> This is m83
[23:33] <besoin> abrupt ending
[23:33] <@Ampersycho> wonderful
[23:33] <autarch> aw man
[23:33] <Bob511> :crash:
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> perfect
[23:33] <mancubz> lol bob
[23:33] <@Ampersycho> MY DAUGHTER'S RANSOM on Sunday!!!
[23:33] <@Ampersycho> night all!
[23:33] <autarch> the teacher was a hunk, right?
[23:33] <@Ampersycho> happy nine freaking years
[23:33] <mancubz> bye!
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> now dan can go back to the wolf growl
[23:33] <kayke> goodnight!
[23:33] <dan2> no it's def a cougar
[23:33] <autarch> someone pls confirm teacher was a hunk
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> oh right
[23:33] <Trebbers> Night!
[23:33] <blacksugar> he was handsome
[23:33] <autarch> thank you
[23:33] <autarch> night
[23:33] <sike_oh_yeoman> autarch i will be on team teacher was a hunk
[23:34] <dan2> goodnight and much love to everyone
[23:34] <@Ampersycho> i am a hunk, yes, thank you
[23:34] <sike_oh_yeoman> 'night, happy anniversary y'all, Amp is a hunk
[23:34] <autarch> no
[23:34] <lhs> 9 more years
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Sep 19, 2020 4:42 pm

This Sunday,
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:16 am

Ampersand wrote:This Sunday,
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 5:11 pm

my bump's ransom
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 7:20 pm

about 1.5 hours!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:46 pm

My Daughter's Ransom

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:00 pm

My Daughter's Ransom

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Posts: 12506
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:41 pm

Code: Select all
[22:14] <@Ransomsand> 3
[22:15] <autarch> ok
[22:15] <@Ransomsand> 2
[22:15] <@Ransomsand> 1
[22:15] <besoin> see, cgi buildings
[22:15] <Bob511> We watched Maxwell Bright.
[22:15] <Bob511> We're not infallible.
[22:15] <besoin> that was eric roberts's choice
[22:15] <dansom> I mean the Lifetime movies
[22:15] <pretty_yeoman> lets make the whole movie like this
[22:15] <autarch> wow does this movie have to do withzoos?
[22:15] <besoin> mckinley blehm
[22:15] <dansom> which one of these is the daughter??
[22:15] <pretty_yeoman> Chekov's Menagerie
[22:15] <lhs> this but all the animals wear stupid knit hats
[22:16] <autarch> this is some mid 2000's indie for sure
[22:16] <impdentist> pink fedoras
[22:16] <@Ransomsand> "Harambe is just like us"
[22:16] <dansom> look at their stupid little faces
[22:16] <Trebbers> THE THEORY
[22:16] <autarch> Okkervil's Ransom
[22:16] <Bob511> Gramps Buys a Zoo
[22:16] <Trebbers> Gnarly
[22:16] <dansom> are they gonna put the daugher in a zoo??
[22:17] <lhs> humans are already apes, first of all
[22:17] <dansom> Wes Sneeringer
[22:17] <besoin> i'm the great grape ape
[22:17] <Trebbers> hury
[22:17] <autarch> we're not just apes; we're Great Apes
[22:17] <Bob511> "Have You Seen This Seal?"
[22:17] <besoin> is this dubbed
[22:17] <impdentist> a doung campbell joint
[22:18] <besoin> wouldn't you have to conclude the animals got your daughter
[22:18] <@Ransomsand> Lindsay is with the apes now
[22:18] <autarch> Harambe's Ransom
[22:18] <dansom> damn did they really kidnap her in the first 3 minutes of runtime?
[22:18] <impdentist> "we ddn't see anything"
[22:18] <kayke> takes gorilla baby and tries to pass it off as lindsay
[22:18] <Trebbers> An ape driving a white van
[22:18] <dansom> lol
[22:18] <autarch> Sniped by my Zookeeper
[22:18] <impdentist> oh wow
[22:18] <Trebbers> ahahahah
[22:18] <Trebbers> what a shot
[22:18] <besoin> is she running with a selfie stick
[22:18] <autarch> Shakedown 2019
[22:18] <Trebbers> waoh
[22:18] <impdentist> i hope she gets camera credit for these shots
[22:19] <autarch> u sonnovabitch!
[22:19] <besoin> directed by jonas akerlund
[22:19] <Trebbers> Doug you crazy for this one
[22:19] <besoin> olivia tamee
[22:19] <autarch> horny guy alert
[22:19] <impdentist> that's what we call exposition, folks
[22:19] <autarch> we get it, guy
[22:19] <@Ransomsand> guy can really carry a tune
[22:19] <kayke> make him stop
[22:19] <besoin> is that kato kaelin
[22:19] <dansom> Raul Pudd
[22:19] <impdentist> jesus
[22:19] <Trebbers> Dry hair alert
[22:19] <@Ransomsand> holy shity
[22:19] <pretty_yeoman> ffs
[22:19] <kayke> lmao
[22:19] <@Ransomsand> gonna eat your fuckin ass, dear
[22:20] <autarch> buddy, we get it; we've all been horny before, you gotta contain yourself.
[22:20] <pretty_yeoman> ah the before times
[22:20] <besoin> is this the past? did i miss a "x months earlier" title or something?
[22:20] <impdentist> "say good night to the gorillas"
[22:20] <Trebbers> thought that was a bomb for a sec
[22:20] <impdentist> it's the previous day
[22:20] <lhs> it said 20 hours earlier, i think
[22:20] <besoin> oh
[22:21] <besoin> the mothers in law are always the worst in these movies
[22:21] <lhs> which makes me wonder what time it was at the zoo
[22:21] <pretty_yeoman> whiz kid
[22:21] <autarch> nobody can do that
[22:21] <@Ransomsand> not possible
[22:21] <besoin> chekhov's acrobatic texting
[22:21] <pretty_yeoman> omg beso yeah
[22:21] <autarch> i could do that with t-9
[22:21] <Trebbers> "ASS"
[22:21] <impdentist> yeah was trying to make a chekhov joke but absolutely
[22:21] <lhs> it's possible if you communicate via random emojis
[22:21] <kayke> I'm gonna movie chat behind my back
[22:21] <besoin> hell yeah mom, tell her
[22:21] <@Ransomsand> lol
[22:21] <pretty_yeoman> also for some reason I can see my niece acting just like that
[22:21] <besoin> "i'm the ghost of jonathan schaech"
[22:22] <Bob511> What nice guests, they brought ransoms.
[22:22] <impdentist> the chinese boys coming?
[22:22] <autarch> the idea that that kid's thumb is long enough to only text with one hand is already far-fetched
[22:22] <dansom> I heard Chinese Boy singular, which raises even more questions
[22:22] <besoin> yes, i'm skates, from the burger king kids club"
[22:22] <dansom> lol
[22:23] <dansom> Hubby 2 Horny
[22:23] <Bob511> Is this room lit from the floor?
[22:23] <pretty_yeoman> I dig
[22:23] <pretty_yeoman> overhead lighting can kick rocks
[22:23] <besoin> they're gonna do billie jean later
[22:24] <Trebbers> yeah, most of these a lit like an operating theater
[22:24] <Trebbers> *are lit
[22:24] <lhs> "i'm more into salad tossing these days"
[22:24] <impdentist> why does it sound like a whole class of children singing
[22:24] <besoin> that cake is 90% wax
[22:24] <Bob511> Doug does not settle for the first take.
[22:24] <Trebbers> AHHHHHARRRRAH
[22:24] <besoin> wild continuity errors with the candels
[22:24] <besoin> *candles
[22:25] <pretty_yeoman> noöòó
[22:25] <kayke> he's so horny in front of his own mother
[22:25] <lhs> i actually caught that one
[22:25] <@Ransomsand> Gorilla moms are already thick af
[22:25] <impdentist> what
[22:25] <lhs> gilda is hogging that romaine
[22:25] <autarch> this guy should be played by paul scheer
[22:25] <kayke> lol
[22:26] <pretty_yeoman> never really contemplated the potential for how dumbly a movie could jump around within a timeline
[22:26] <@Ransomsand> "we keep them in this unmarked van"
[22:26] <kayke> stalked by my paulscheer
[22:26] <Bob511> You say that about every child abductor, autarch.
[22:26] <Trebbers> "You ever see a monkey with a plastic glove on his head? It's a Mandel monkey"
[22:26] <dansom> straight to the mandrill van
[22:26] <pretty_yeoman> seems like no one talks about how smelly ferrets are
[22:26] <lhs> busted
[22:26] <besoin> he seems to have the tastes of dave atell
[22:26] <dansom> classic mistake
[22:26] <impdentist> omg she wound up catching on to this guy because he missed a ferret fact
[22:26] <autarch> woops
[22:27] <pretty_yeoman> this kid is cool
[22:27] <@Ransomsand> #ferretfacts
[22:27] <pretty_yeoman> and WEEEEEEEEEE
[22:27] <besoin> that's the zoo, huh?
[22:27] <impdentist> maybe:
[22:27] <Trebbers> Maybe:
[22:27] <dansom> they keep the Zoo behind the middle school, pretty sweet
[22:27] <besoin> my phone does that. i hate it.
[22:27] <besoin> maybe: joey walnuts
[22:28] <kayke> if you skate, she dies
[22:28] <besoin> biola university
[22:28] <Trebbers> Trash can behind the Rolos?
[22:28] <pretty_yeoman> if you have a friend named Cameron or something, change their name to Cam Likely in your phone
[22:28] <pretty_yeoman> good for a chuckle every now & then
[22:28] <Trebbers> Great job kid
[22:28] <autarch> suddenly very calm
[22:28] <kayke> put the bunny back in the box
[22:29] <besoin> this is like speed for incels
[22:29] <autarch> he's just trying to introduce her to geocaching
[22:29] <impdentist> ahahaha the hat
[22:29] <autarch> he wants someone to go geocaching with
[22:29] <impdentist> should have been a pink fedora
[22:29] <Bob511> She only agreed to make this movie if she got to wear Kate Beckinsale's cap.
[22:29] <dansom> lmao
[22:29] <Trebbers> "You are going to find a Squirtle in one hour or your daughter dies"
[22:29] <besoin> heh
[22:30] <dansom> Daughter Hard with a Vengeance
[22:30] <Bob511> Ha
[22:30] <pretty_yeoman> this is my 2nd or 3rd fav. Liars song
[22:30] <lhs> "but it's itchy"
[22:30] <Trebbers> camera in a hat is a hat on a hat
[22:30] <autarch> geocaching is fun
[22:31] <dansom> "Uh...the gorilla...ate her."
[22:31] <dansom> "I didn't get my 18 hours of sleep"
[22:32] <pretty_yeoman> oh -this- is Com Truise
[22:32] <autarch> he's doing a nathan for you
[22:32] <Trebbers> Again
[22:32] <kayke> "Love me love me, say that you love me! fool me fool me, go on and fool me!"
[22:32] <besoin> thought the same thing, kayke
[22:33] <autarch> omg
[22:33] <pretty_yeoman> this guy used to -love- Sesame Street
[22:33] <besoin> run peloton mom
[22:33] <Trebbers> Mom Simulator 2020
[22:33] <pretty_yeoman> lol
[22:33] <Bob511> She should start saying random numbers.
[22:33] <autarch> what the fuck was that shot
[22:33] <impdentist> how much of this movie is going to be that guy counting down numbers
[22:33] <Trebbers> sped up running
[22:33] <Trebbers> lolo
[22:34] <autarch> this is filmed like a reality show
[22:34] <dansom> this has convinced me that Soderbergh should do a whole movie via selfie stick
[22:34] <besoin> volvo, but i'm not counting it
[22:34] <impdentist> avoid main noulevards
[22:34] <pretty_yeoman> p.o.v. you're a brown volvo
[22:34] <impdentist> that classic piece of LA traffic advice
[22:35] <besoin> looks like she's about four hours away
[22:35] <autarch> this is literally filmed like an episode of Survivor
[22:35] <besoin> sam worthlesston
[22:35] <dansom> heh
[22:35] <impdentist> double clicks "dont_love_my_husband_anymore.wav"
[22:35] <@Ransomsand> "you've been inside my head???"
[22:36] <dansom> COLD???
[22:36] <autarch> the modulated voice is getting me
[22:36] <besoin> is the daughter going to sleep through the movie
[22:36] <dansom> you had to have the BIIIIIG salad
[22:36] <Trebbers> Carter
[22:36] <@Ransomsand> time to get carter
[22:36] <autarch> Carter The Unstoppable Theft Machine
[22:36] <besoin> steve...wozniak?
[22:37] <dansom> aww, I was hoping he would keep the Jon from Delocaed voice the whole time
[22:37] <autarch> i'm sorry, do we know carter from earlier?
[22:37] <dansom> The Carter, Free
[22:37] <besoin> if my wife showed up wearing that hat, i would immediately ask her about it
[22:37] <autarch> wow, digging this gritty reboot of Supermarket Sweep
[22:38] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:38] <dansom> is this another box factory like in Mr. Brooks?
[22:39] <Bob511> Looks like they develop mini golf courses?
[22:39] <besoin> i bet purple sunglasses guy could help her
[22:39] <pretty_yeoman> lol beso
[22:39] <besoin> i'd be screaming about the hat
[22:39] <lhs> "you're too old now"
[22:40] <impdentist> i can't believe lifetime has stumbled onto this trick that automatically doubles the runtime of their movies
[22:40] <besoin> "you look too much like an early 80s local news anchor"
[22:40] <Trebbers> yeah, its dangerous
[22:40] <dansom> imagining China signing a 3 billion dollar contract for mini golf courses now
[22:40] <Trebbers> hah
[22:40] <pretty_yeoman> big fan of shock cam
[22:40] <besoin> how many cul de sacs does it take to get to lynwood
[22:41] <impdentist> gangsters?
[22:41] <autarch> You have 30 seconds to make it to the checkpoint.
[22:41] <impdentist> oh my god
[22:41] <Trebbers> woah
[22:41] <besoin> oh god
[22:41] <Bob511> She should pick up another fare to get more time.
[22:41] <autarch> oh my god
[22:41] <lhs> she should stop by that ross and change out the hat
[22:41] <dansom> this is wild
[22:41] <Trebbers> time fuckery upon fuckery
[22:41] <kayke> flashback to trashier times
[22:41] <autarch> thata sped-up walking was from a Sugar Ray music video, I think
[22:41] <dansom> these flashbacks are shot like silent movies
[22:42] <@Ransomsand> this is convoluted
[22:42] <@Ransomsand> Chris Gethard died in her arms
[22:42] <autarch> Is everyone in this movie a scientologist?
[22:42] <Trebbers> "Chris Gethard died in my arms
[22:42] <kayke> if you were a cool girl you'd let me murder!
[22:42] <Trebbers> fuck
[22:42] <@Ransomsand> lmao
[22:42] <pretty_yeoman> love every bad guy lookin' like a security company home invasion commercial
[22:42] <dansom> a real life and Geth situation
[22:42] <@Ransomsand> lol
[22:42] <Trebbers> ah
[22:43] <kayke> aye, I'm talkin' here!
[22:43] <besoin> what
[22:43] <dansom> "Nobody's ever touched me in fast motion then slow motion"
[22:43] <autarch> this is Carter's personal favorite song
[22:43] <Trebbers> Hot fucking in a Geo Metro
[22:43] <lhs> "no one's ever slopped their food hole onto mine like you"
[22:43] <Trebbers> Starbooks?
[22:44] <autarch> what's wrong with starbucks?
[22:44] <besoin> not bad boy approved
[22:44] <lhs> they burn their coffee on purpose
[22:44] <besoin> god is that dress awful
[22:44] <pretty_yeoman> we've seen his taste in hats
[22:44] <autarch> that's not sharp enough to cut a rope
[22:45] <Trebbers> This is gonna be a prank
[22:45] <autarch> Carter watches The Tudors
[22:45] <dansom> I wanna see her go to a 4-Star restaurant wearing that hat
[22:45] <kayke> this bar is playing ringtones
[22:45] <lhs> do the peewee herman dance
[22:45] <dansom> the roughest bowling alley bar in town
[22:46] <Trebbers> "Lady I just got that finished"
[22:46] <@Ransomsand> "ma'am your tank top is not sufficiently wife beater enough"
[22:46] <pretty_yeoman> tell me this is a gay bar
[22:46] <impdentist> that's a really high note
[22:46] <besoin> is that like royalty free like a G6
[22:46] <Trebbers> "The waffle house song?"
[22:46] <pretty_yeoman> heh
[22:46] <Bob511> "...on basic cable."
[22:46] <impdentist> hahahaha omg
[22:46] <@Ransomsand> wahooo
[22:46] <autarch> oh my god
[22:46] <pretty_yeoman> Ryan Brosehn
[22:46] <@Ransomsand> 2 tall
[22:46] <autarch> so wait, he has cameras on the outside of the hat?
[22:46] <impdentist> dance to the dead popstar?
[22:47] <dansom> bar is pretty packed for 2:00 PM
[22:47] <@Ransomsand> SLOUCH, BABY, SLOUCH
[22:47] <autarch> what is this song
[22:47] <impdentist> i didn't know store-brand bono was dead
[22:47] <@Ransomsand> insane
[22:47] <dansom> you blew it!
[22:47] <besoin> look who's awake
[22:48] <Trebbers> Kid trying to understand the plot
[22:48] <pretty_yeoman> kid is all of us
[22:48] <dansom> he was about to give her daughter the mandible claw
[22:48] <kayke> he was holding his hand up like he was about to get wolverine claws
[22:49] <Trebbers> "You are going to this model home and pretend to be interested in buying itg'
[22:50] <besoin> gina's just been easter shopping
[22:50] <Bob511> Sleeping in that hat.
[22:50] <kayke> lol
[22:50] <Trebbers> "You fucked my husband in that hat?"
[22:50] <pretty_yeoman> dood has a really weird accent
[22:51] <autarch> Tug on your ear
[22:51] <dansom> I've heard of cat naps, but hat naps??
[22:51] <Trebbers> haah
[22:51] <pretty_yeoman> dansom,
[22:51] <autarch> or at least wink or something
[22:51] <autarch> let her know something is up
[22:51] <kayke> "i stepped on my phone and threw it away"
[22:51] <pretty_yeoman> she's acting weird enough that her friends should know
[22:51] <Trebbers> But the cameras
[22:52] <Bob511> She doesn't like the hat either.
[22:52] <dansom> hmHMM
[22:52] <kayke> not sleeping, just tossing salads
[22:53] <autarch> this beret is ridiculous
[22:53] <dansom> what is up with the records behind her?
[22:53] <besoin> hey, no editorializing
[22:53] <pretty_yeoman> she's strangely enough doing all her tells w/ her voice, which dood can hear
[22:53] <autarch> He's been faking it
[22:53] <Bob511> Going to be awkward when Frank shows up wearing one of those knit jester hats.
[22:53] <Trebbers> IN THE MORNINGS NO LESS
[22:53] <kayke> in the mornings?! in the laundry room?!
[22:54] <autarch> those are plates
[22:54] <pretty_yeoman> Lifetime really is the network of prudishness
[22:54] <Trebbers> *record scratch
[22:54] <kayke> mister
[22:54] <besoin> MISTER
[22:54] <Trebbers> jerkwad
[22:55] <kayke> "my taint pwns your dick, MISTER"
[22:55] <dansom> "Hi Frank...uhhhh...congrats on getting your world rocked"
[22:55] <autarch> has he bugged the whole town?
[22:55] <autarch> lol dan
[22:55] <dansom> ahahah
[22:55] <besoin> crate and barrel is expensive
[22:55] <pretty_yeoman> ooooooh C&B DAMN
[22:56] <Trebbers> No not the cum water
[22:56] <autarch> really dumb throw
[22:56] <impdentist> what was the point of that
[22:56] <pretty_yeoman> nailed that lightpost
[22:56] <autarch> he's just a troll
[22:56] <Bob511> "Get to your husband's office by the end of the commercial break."
[22:56] <impdentist> 299... 298... 297...
[22:56] <lhs> you can't get anywhere in the suburbs in 5 minutes jfc
[22:56] <dansom> a big old slutty fish
[22:57] <Trebbers> The only way to get the truth out will be texting behind the back
[22:57] <autarch> she still hasn't received any actual proof that her daughter is alive
[22:58] <autarch> like, make some fucking demands.
[22:58] <pretty_yeoman> she heard her yelling in the background at one point I think autarch
[22:58] <autarch> oh wow, she can talk
[22:59] <lhs> tell me some ferret facts, lindsay
[22:59] <autarch> god his soft-talking voice is louder than his yelling voice
[22:59] <impdentist> "would you send him to detention for 12 years"
[22:59] <@Ransomsand> mommies get stitches
[23:00] <autarch> that's not how it works, carter
[23:00] <pretty_yeoman> carter did -not- spend time in the library in prison
[23:00] <dansom> cactus cam
[23:00] <besoin> getting a real tour of the sprawl here
[23:01] <pretty_yeoman> gif that
[23:01] <pretty_yeoman> I mean hell Skates could probably help her
[23:02] <besoin> i dunno about this one, carter
[23:02] <impdentist> i like how she's putting her own little spin on the lines
[23:02] <impdentist> wait does this actually work
[23:03] <autarch> she can't actually fire her
[23:03] <dansom> I feel like you could tape a note to your chest expaining everything and this guy's hat camera would not pick it up
[23:03] <@Ransomsand> stupid, skate, stupid
[23:03] <besoin> "tell her she's been skating by"
[23:04] <Trebbers> Call the police
[23:04] <autarch> this is so poorly thought out. He's built into the plan that there is a awitness
[23:04] <pretty_yeoman> she's almost as bad at running as Harrison Ford
[23:04] <pretty_yeoman> here's where they film workplace safety videos
[23:04] <besoin> but he hasn't left work
[23:04] <kayke> what is their company? I just saw a giant squirrel statue in the warehouse
[23:05] <autarch> this is the most insane movie we've ever watched I think
[23:05] <impdentist> no way
[23:05] <besoin> "i love your precise grooming"
[23:05] <dansom> a squirrel with a checkered flag so maybe they make go-cart course equipment?
[23:05] <Trebbers> oh lord
[23:05] <impdentist> it's one note over and over
[23:05] <impdentist> no surprises
[23:05] <autarch> this is the craziest movie we've ever seen
[23:05] <lhs> carter should really just play the sims
[23:06] <autarch> lol
[23:06] <dansom> it's pretty out of control
[23:06] <pretty_yeoman> FINALLY
[23:06] <Trebbers> "we're best friends?"
[23:06] <dansom> only a billion?
[23:06] <pretty_yeoman> "scratch that, it just says 'HELF'"
[23:06] <Trebbers> Ron Paul fans
[23:06] <kayke> "H A T"
[23:06] <Trebbers> haha'
[23:06] <besoin> heh
[23:06] <autarch> start pointing
[23:06] <dansom> good lord
[23:07] <besoin> oh nooo
[23:07] <pretty_yeoman> nice
[23:07] <autarch> just point down.
[23:07] <autarch> he can't see that much
[23:07] <autarch> or just write "SOS" or "911"
[23:07] <kayke> "mistah jay!"
[23:07] <autarch> 3 characters are shorter than 4
[23:07] <besoin> "agh, we were gonna build putt putts together!"
[23:07] <dansom> I wonder if this is Doug Campbell seeing if it's possible to do a Lifetime movie that's entirely improvised
[23:07] <autarch> or use your hands to signal "9-1-1"
[23:08] <autarch> take your shoes off
[23:08] <lhs> oh no, bakersfield
[23:09] <besoin> heh
[23:09] <autarch> bite him
[23:09] <pretty_yeoman> truly dire
[23:09] <autarch> she should have snuck out more quietly
[23:10] <besoin> is this the most socal sprawly movie of all time
[23:10] <besoin> i mean she just went in a neighborhood called la terrazza
[23:10] <Trebbers> whaaaaa
[23:10] <autarch> in cash?
[23:10] <dansom> so much counting in this movie
[23:11] <besoin> "admission to usc"
[23:11] <Trebbers> aha
[23:11] <lhs> heh
[23:11] <autarch> this is demented
[23:11] <besoin> told you purple sunglasses could help
[23:12] <pretty_yeoman> even his legs are max sprawl
[23:12] <Bob511> "No, no, the windmill on the back nine will be completed on schedule."
[23:12] <Trebbers> "We see this kind of thing in China often"
[23:12] <dansom> haha bob
[23:13] <pretty_yeoman> Lindsey's watching her future bank go up in smoke she's gonna go off
[23:13] <besoin> what a day
[23:13] <Trebbers> Would have been easier just to steal the entire safe
[23:14] <dansom> Rachel Getting Money'd
[23:14] <pretty_yeoman> "believe me, I've tried"
[23:14] <besoin> get the fuck out of my house
[23:14] <besoin> where's tanya when you need her
[23:15] <autarch> well it actually is none of her business
[23:15] <autarch> frank and tony
[23:15] <Bob511> Are we going to have to recap the entire movie to her?
[23:15] <Trebbers> Heart attack time
[23:15] <kayke> lmao
[23:15] <Trebbers> waoh
[23:15] <autarch> this mom
[23:15] <autarch> omg
[23:15] <besoin> you died for money, moron
[23:15] <Trebbers> i can't believe it
[23:16] <besoin> peace "mom"
[23:16] <kayke> she was nosey with good reason
[23:16] <Trebbers> Redd Foxx gambit
[23:16] <besoin> seems like she could have used the phone by now
[23:17] <pretty_yeoman> "hide the volvo in some bushes"
[23:17] <autarch> carter is so fucking impulsive
[23:17] <Trebbers> "You cold?"
[23:17] <pretty_yeoman> lol treb
[23:17] <impdentist> is this what youre supposed to do if you're having a heart attack
[23:17] <pretty_yeoman> he should know this shit he works at the warehouse where they film CPR training videos
[23:18] <impdentist> haha
[23:18] <besoin> is johnson productions a subsidiary of volvo
[23:18] <Trebbers> ahahaha
[23:18] <Trebbers> Go mom
[23:18] <pretty_yeoman> mom don't stop
[23:19] <autarch> to be fair, he's evil too
[23:19] <besoin> i dunno, the mom seems fine
[23:19] <Trebbers> "That kid of yours sucks, too"
[23:19] <pretty_yeoman> stay calm while I refrain from calling 911
[23:19] <impdentist> does he not notice that his wife is directly behind him
[23:19] <pretty_yeoman> omg that zoom
[23:19] <besoin> doesn't recognize her in the hat
[23:19] <Trebbers> wants to make sure we don't miss it
[23:20] <impdentist> do they get you into a hospital gown first thing when you get to the hospital
[23:20] <impdentist> is that how it works
[23:20] <Bob511> Took his mother to Sheraton General Hospital
[23:20] <autarch> dudes
[23:20] <Trebbers> Bros!
[23:21] <pretty_yeoman> lol they're just like the bros on New Girl lol luv it
[23:21] <autarch> these guys have both been in gillette commercials, no doubt
[23:21] <besoin> opsec, tony
[23:21] <Trebbers> ahahh
[23:21] <Trebbers> zoink
[23:21] <pretty_yeoman> yeah Husben had the bod for the shirtless at the mirror shaving ad thing
[23:21] <besoin> got em
[23:21] <dansom> I don't think I'd do that with a laptop bag, let alone $450,000 in chinese mob money
[23:22] <besoin> did you type that behind your back, yeoman
[23:22] <pretty_yeoman> nope it's just how everyone here says that
[23:22] <pretty_yeoman> lol tho
[23:22] <impdentist> ahahahaha
[23:22] <Trebbers> oh
[23:22] <autarch> hahaa
[23:22] <dansom> you gotta "jump"
[23:22] <impdentist> do they let you run through subway stations carrying large bags
[23:22] <pretty_yeoman> might as well
[23:22] <pretty_yeoman> not in the '90s, Austin
[23:22] <pretty_yeoman> here we go
[23:23] <Trebbers> 5 cuts for that tackle
[23:23] <Trebbers> Taken level
[23:23] <besoin> we can't remember 50 minutes ago
[23:23] <impdentist> what in the
[23:23] <Trebbers> Smashleg "Not Walking on the Sun"
[23:23] <pretty_yeoman> cool that he doesn't use Uber
[23:23] <impdentist> promotional consideration provided by lyft and crate & barrel
[23:23] <kayke> "hat ebil, plwaas hekp"
[23:23] <besoin> haha
[23:23] <Trebbers> ahaha
[23:24] <pretty_yeoman> MASTERFUL
[23:24] <Trebbers> Movie worth it for that
[23:24] <impdentist> hahahahahaha
[23:24] <Trebbers> ahhaaa
[23:24] <besoin> haha
[23:24] <autarch> hahahahahaha
[23:24] <dansom> yesssss
[23:24] <Trebbers> next level
[23:24] <Bob511> "Remember when we could autocorrect each other's sentences?"
[23:24] <pretty_yeoman> i am out of my head right now
[23:24] <Trebbers> A master
[23:24] <lhs> does anyone speak welsh
[23:24] <besoin> my wife just gave me the dirtiest look for laughing this much on a sunday night
[23:24] <dansom> haha
[23:24] <dansom> lhs
[23:24] <pretty_yeoman> heh lhs
[23:24] <impdentist> ahahaha a cube
[23:24] <pretty_yeoman> cute cube
[23:25] <Trebbers> hhHH
[23:25] <impdentist> omg what
[23:25] <Bob511> That Cube doubled as parking-garage set dressing.
[23:25] <besoin> sure, carter will buy that
[23:25] <Bob511> Very economical, Doug.
[23:25] <besoin> guys love making some money
[23:25] <dansom> "Follow that Cube!"
[23:26] <autarch> good lord
[23:26] <pretty_yeoman> bro$
[23:26] <autarch> I was about to give this movie like 1 star, but that cube seals at least 4 and a half stars
[23:26] <lhs> autarch stop fronting
[23:26] <pretty_yeoman> the autocorrect fade and then the cube like 30 sec later was a formidable 1-2
[23:27] <Trebbers> "The hat is fused to my hair now"
[23:27] <lhs> going to vegas, baby 
[23:27] <impdentist> it's gonna take him more thana couple of hours to get out of california taking onnnnly side streets
[23:27] <pretty_yeoman> heh
[23:28] <pretty_yeoman> Senator Dad here we goooo
[23:28] <autarch> no need to call 911
[23:28] <pretty_yeoman> learned a few trix from his uh business friends
[23:28] <autarch> oh my god
[23:28] <pretty_yeoman> wow
[23:28] <besoin> still time to get some help from the triad
[23:29] <pretty_yeoman> this is just clumsy subtitles
[23:29] <autarch> that's what this is about?
[23:29] <Bob511> "My Lifetime Movie Premise Was Stolen"
[23:29] <impdentist> imagine working in the johnson production group pitch room
[23:29] <impdentist> imagine how much coke must be flying around
[23:29] <Trebbers> all the time
[23:30] <autarch> that's a dumb thing you do
[23:30] <pretty_yeoman> his perfectly close shave gives him a +1 to stealth rolls
[23:30] <autarch> carter is really not good at this
[23:30] <autarch> just do unlimited do-overs
[23:30] <pretty_yeoman> carter should know what the kids from the last movie know
[23:30] <besoin> what the heck
[23:30] <Trebbers> oh no
[23:30] <besoin> did it freeze for anyone else?
[23:30] <Bob511> Yes
[23:30] <autarch> yeah
[23:30] <Trebbers> yeah
[23:30] <lhs> yes
[23:30] <pretty_yeoman> same here
[23:30] <pretty_yeoman> still have audio
[23:30] <lhs> dad's squattin
[23:30] <dansom> oh my god the tension
[23:30] <Trebbers> hold for shot
[23:31] <besoin> we'll have to use our imaginations
[23:31] <impdentist> yeah don't know what to do here
[23:31] <pretty_yeoman> as long as the audio keeps rolling i'm cool to radio play it
[23:31] <dansom> the crazy thing is with this editing you couldn't really tell that this was a file glitch
[23:31] <impdentist> yeah i had no idea
[23:31] <dansom> it's a pretty great freezefame too
[23:31] <Trebbers> Pause on 3, resume on 3?
[23:31] <lhs> i'm just imagining that he's eavesdropping on all this
[23:31] <dansom> I tried to skip ahead a little and it's def broken
[23:31] <pretty_yeoman> i'm game to try or to let it roll, what do y'all think
[23:31] <pretty_yeoman> lol lhs
[23:31] <Bob511> Keeps crashing trying to skip past, yeah.
[23:31] <Trebbers> oh well
[23:31] <Trebbers> Lifetime Radio Network time
[23:32] <@Ransomsand> listen it's now an audio drama
[23:32] <@Ransomsand> accept the mystery
[23:32] <pretty_yeoman> so far it's working real fine
[23:32] <autarch> why are you admitting about the husband thing
[23:32] <autarch> she was just offering the tennis to be nice
[23:32] <besoin> yikes
[23:32] <pretty_yeoman> let's really get in to what's going on with Papa Gilette's shoulderblades
[23:33] <besoin> tony is hearing this and heading back to the red truck
[23:33] <pretty_yeoman> this kid's growing up fast
[23:33] <besoin> he didn't do much, really
[23:33] <lhs> subscribe to lifetime movie club to see the rest of this movie
[23:34] <impdentist> SMASH
[23:34] <pretty_yeoman> lhs that's too real
[23:34] <besoin> he looks like he's crapping at glastonbury
[23:34] <Trebbers> ahah
[23:34] <Bob511> Ha
[23:34] <pretty_yeoman> omg beso
[23:34] <dansom> if they have this on LMC you should try ang get a full rip of this
[23:34] <pretty_yeoman> soundtrack rips
[23:34] <pretty_yeoman> speaking of rippin
[23:34] <besoin> oh no
[23:34] <besoin> [squelch]
[23:34] <Trebbers> Did he get bricked
[23:35] <impdentist> there it is
[23:35] <pretty_yeoman> props to the foley crew
[23:35] <lhs> [fighting grunts]
[23:35] <impdentist> one brick smash didn't do it?
[23:35] <Trebbers> I thiunk the grunting one is winning
[23:35] <kayke> oh no
[23:35] <kayke> pull what our
[23:35] <besoin> did lindsay stab carter?
[23:35] <pretty_yeoman> no no put it back in
[23:35] <kayke> *out
[23:35] <dansom> for all we know maybe one of the gorillas from the beginning broke lose and had been following Carter this whole time
[23:35] <impdentist> god i'm on the edge of my seat
[23:35] <Trebbers> The triad guy calls bricks 'the real fortune cookie'
[23:35] <autarch> ugh now i'm like 20 seconds behind from trying to fix it
[23:36] <pretty_yeoman> dansom that's canon now
[23:36] <pretty_yeoman> lol trebs
[23:36] <pretty_yeoman> ah the post-climax cello of relief
[23:37] <autarch> did he get his throat slit?
[23:37] <dansom> are we gonna get to hear the opening credits for another Lifetime movie?
[23:37] <besoin> man, the whole family died
[23:37] <besoin> carter made it back to scottsdale
[23:37] <pretty_yeoman> this is like the beginning of Wall-E
[23:37] <Trebbers> Coda where everything is fine and she's fucking her husband again
[23:37] <autarch> but she said she would love him 4evr
[23:37] <pretty_yeoman> I love that there is no way to tell for sure if the credits are rolling yet
[23:38] <autarch> there has to be some kind of coda
[23:38] <besoin> it's just drone shots of the volvo driving through socal subdivisions
[23:38] <lhs> the credits are always at the start of the next rip
[23:38] <pretty_yeoman> ok now I take it back
[23:38] <pretty_yeoman> lol beso
[23:38] <autarch> that's why we tune in every week, lgs
[23:38] <autarch> lhs
[23:38] <pretty_yeoman> pov: you're a drone watching a brown volvo drive slow
[23:39] <impdentist> but it's filmed from a go pro
[23:39] <pretty_yeoman> if you want to know the future of SHITFLIXE Lifetime month:
[23:39] <@Ransomsand> sounds like a good movie
[23:39] <autarch> i mean the credits have to be going
[23:39] <pretty_yeoman> imagine a man pooping at Glastonbury, forever
[23:39] <Trebbers> yeah
[23:39] <impdentist> what happened there
[23:39] <autarch> there's no way the credits haven
[23:39] <kayke> the end
[23:39] <@Ransomsand> masterful
[23:39] <autarch> haven't started yet
[23:39] <Trebbers> Theater of the mind
[23:39] <besoin> wait, what
[23:39] <impdentist> ok!
[23:39] <lhs> wonder what happened
[23:39] <Bob511> I assume the hat killed Carter and saved the day?
[23:39] <@Ransomsand> kinda even better that way
[23:39] <besoin> it skipped back to her apologies for me
[23:39] <@Ransomsand> you're welcome
[23:40] <pretty_yeoman> yeah we're back to apologies audio
[23:40] <dansom> Doug didn't really want to keep writing dialogue if it didn't involve at least one party wearing a hat
[23:40] <lhs> it stopped playing for me
[23:40] <Trebbers> Free trial time
[23:40] <autarch> i'm still getting music
[23:40] <pretty_yeoman> what happens if I just let this play out
[23:40] <@Ransomsand> VIRTUOSITY on Tuesday! HUSH on Wednesday!
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Postby Autarch » Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:49 pm

this was the actual last shot

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Postby important dentist » Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:55 am

somehow i missed "McKinley Blehm" which i think is the most lifetime movie actress name possible
"My foremost duty is to the board," Important Dentist countered. "I
cannot afford to spend that much time researching human sexuality."
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:52 pm

The final shot that was TOO HOT FOR TV
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Postby Ampersand » Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:54 pm

This Wednesday,
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Postby Bob511 » Mon Sep 21, 2020 2:42 pm

Eric Roberts wrote:Hipinion. Hipinion? Hipinion...is hip.
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:01 am

Ampersand wrote:This Wednesday,
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Postby kayke » Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:15 am

i like tori spelling because she looks like she'd be mean to everyone else but nice to me
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 23, 2020 4:34 pm

bump. movie is up in the usual places
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 23, 2020 8:48 pm


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Postby Ampersand » Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:08 pm


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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 24, 2020 7:42 am

Code: Select all
[22:15] <@Ampersand> 3
[22:16] <@Ampersand> 2
[22:16] <@Ampersand> 1
[22:16] <@Ampersand> aw, thought it was a cool band playing
[22:16] <donnamartin__> i always wonder what credits we're watching
[22:16] <lhs> see you later, canada
[22:16] <besoin> tahmoh penikett
[22:17] <Bob511> Think he ever joined NXIVM?
[22:17] <Bob511> Seems likely.
[22:17] <Trebbers> He would have been a get
[22:17] <besoin> how long before we see a surname we've heard of before
[22:17] <besoin> there we go
[22:18] <besoin> 35 isn't old enough?
[22:18] <kayke> lol
[22:18] <lhs> is the aspect ratio slightly off
[22:18] <besoin> i think so
[22:18] <donnamartin__> well thank got for that scene setting
[22:18] <donnamartin__> explained a lot
[22:18] <Bob511> I think it's 4:3 but logarithmically stretched?
[22:18] <autarch> i didn't seeee the trailer for this one but i'm liking where this is going
[22:18] <kayke> "scramble my eggs, doc"
[22:18] <besoin> oh, yeah, looks weird when it pans
[22:19] <autarch> heheheh
[22:19] <Bob511> Definitely worse at the edges than at the center.
[22:19] <lhs> 16:10 looks better
[22:19] <autarch> "and i get to be one of them!"
[22:19] <donnamartin__> LMN doesn't deserve good aspect ratio
[22:19] <@Ampersand> we have two more turkey basters ready
[22:19] <besoin> hm, not very san francisco looking ever since the opening b roll
[22:20] <besoin> crude law here
[22:20] <autarch> please do not let these 2 procreate
[22:20] <donnamartin__> o
[22:20] <donnamartin__> uh, well
[22:20] <donnamartin__> no pressure
[22:20] <lhs> all you have to do is maintain your structural integrity around the edges
[22:20] <kayke> sea mail me
[22:20] <donnamartin__> don't kiss your son in law on the lips plz
[22:21] <kayke> his pants
[22:21] <donnamartin__> her pants
[22:21] <besoin> here's another skewed ratio
[22:21] <autarch> ew
[22:22] <autarch> studio for what?
[22:22] <autarch> what does she do?
[22:22] <Trebbers> Cat is up to no good
[22:22] <autarch> make music?
[22:22] <besoin> the cat always seems like it's looking for an exit
[22:22] <@Ampersand> i threw up, and i liked it
[22:22] <lhs> the world oozing around like this is making me sick too
[22:22] <dan2> I feel like I'm watching it through a jewler's loop
[22:22] <Trebbers> A bucket of poutine
[22:23] <autarch> oh christ
[22:23] <@Ampersand> "Lakeyn"
[22:23] <Trebbers> yeah, switched it to 4:3, still off
[22:23] <autarch> how about amy
[22:23] <donnamartin__> maybe jake will work for state farm
[22:23] <autarch> jesus
[22:23] <autarch> if it's a guy: crank.
[22:23] <Trebbers> uh
[22:23] <kayke> duuuh
[22:23] <autarch> this is the diner from voyage of the rock aliens
[22:23] <besoin> trent, merle, kelly
[22:23] <@Ampersand> "IT"S FINE"
[22:23] <autarch> I think
[22:23] <dan2> that's how I laugh
[22:24] <lhs> like satan in a chick tract
[22:24] <Trebbers> "It's French Canadian Toast here, lady"
[22:24] <Bob511> They...premade French toast?
[22:24] <autarch> do you make anything well?
[22:24] <besoin> blueberries ON the pancakes?
[22:24] <dan2> may I suggest the "eggo"
[22:24] <@Ampersand> lol
[22:25] <lhs> brb, besoin please tell me what happens
[22:25] <Trebbers> More ears than man
[22:25] <donnamartin__> ofc, i didn't know i'd be 93 years old when i retired
[22:25] <autarch> SHE's a city girl?
[22:25] <autarch> "NO I'M SHITTING MY GUTS OUT"
[22:25] <kayke> has your waitress ever come into the bathroom to find you?
[22:25] <donnamartin__> what waitress tracks you down in the bathroom?
[22:25] <Trebbers> "The baby was brown and smelly!"
[22:26] <autarch> oh, go lay an egg -er, uh, i mean, uh, crap
[22:26] <besoin> "can i touch up those roots"
[22:27] <kayke> your diary of a wimpy kids
[22:27] <besoin> eggo-induced menstruation
[22:28] <besoin> just realized how appropriate donna's username finally is
[22:28] <donnamartin__> :)
[22:28] <autarch> billiette?
[22:28] <donnamartin__> what a rager
[22:28] <lhs> okay, what did i miss
[22:29] <autarch> ooh
[22:29] <autarch> old flames i suppose
[22:29] <besoin> tori was nowhere to be found when her order was up. waitress tracked her down in the bathroom (?) where she was crying because she got her period.
[22:29] <donnamartin__> oh they def fucked in the treehouse
[22:29] <besoin> turns out the husband came back to his hometown to take over his dad's old medical practice or something
[22:30] <lhs> thanks
[22:30] <besoin> the waitress who was being nice to tori is her husband's old flame
[22:30] <besoin> <
[22:30] <autarch> if nina says "treehouse of whores" i'll lol
[22:30] <kayke> I'd wear the hell out of that jacket
[22:31] <autarch> what's the main guy's name?
[22:31] <besoin> auschwitz?
[22:31] <donnamartin__> what did that say?
[22:31] <lhs> the tower's still open, are you?
[22:31] <Bob511> "The Tower's still open.  Are you?"
[22:31] <donnamartin__> oh they were in a cult together
[22:31] <dan2> this guy has some real Lance Armstrong energy
[22:31] <Bob511> Well, Jehovah's Witnesses.
[22:31] <kayke> she used to throw her tongue into my mouth
[22:32] <besoin> doctors with plastic hangers
[22:32] <besoin> now i've seen it all
[22:32] <autarch> good call, dan
[22:32] <lhs> pleated pants and rollerblades? are we sure this is 2005
[22:32] <donnamartin__> helmets are for people who like their brain
[22:32] <kayke> helmets is other people
[22:33] <donnamartin__> LOLZ
[22:33] <@Ampersand> "wanna see a body out back? I'M JOKING"
[22:33] <autarch> roller blades wow
[22:33] <donnamartin__> i have a lot of questions about the rollerblades
[22:33] <besoin> she rollerbladed in from a farrelly brothers movie
[22:33] <autarch> noogie bites
[22:34] <besoin> this guy looks like he's starring in a prison production of julius caesar
[22:34] <lhs> heh
[22:34] <autarch> ok, but it wouldn't be like that
[22:34] <besoin> gimme da baby
[22:35] <donnamartin__> but uh, no pressure
[22:35] <autarch> can't you technically try 2?
[22:35] <kayke> ew
[22:35] <donnamartin__> great foreplay
[22:35] <besoin> this guy looks like the big dope version of brian austin green
[22:35] <dan2> very ominous steel drum
[22:35] <autarch> here we go
[22:36] <Trebbers> yesssss
[22:36] <donnamartin__> OH MY GOD
[22:36] <dan2> "Hook me up w/ that baby, k?"
[22:36] <Trebbers> 2ori
[22:36] <autarch> she gettin fake tiddies?
[22:36] <autarch> Del Carter
[22:36] <lhs> "cobwebs, huh? just like your womb"
[22:36] <besoin> wait, what happened there? she took one of tori's embryos or something?
[22:36] <@Ampersand> hell yeah carve um up
[22:36] <donnamartin__> Coach Carter
[22:36] <donnamartin__> oh no, that poor cat
[22:36] <dan2> wasn't someone named Carter in the last one of these we did??
[22:37] <lhs> yeah, the kidnapper
[22:37] <besoin> the my daughter's ransom bad guy, right?
[22:37] <Bob511> Oh, huh, they are JW.
[22:37] <autarch> oh wow
[22:37] <autarch> Jehovahs Witnesses
[22:37] <besoin> just like a JW
[22:38] <kayke> those pumpkins are so thin
[22:38] <lhs> be the devil you want to see in the world
[22:38] <besoin> is this that rambo town from first blood
[22:38] <Trebbers> Looks like shit
[22:38] <dan2> *hurl*
[22:38] <kayke> is it spectacular? is it really?
[22:38] <autarch> some of the writing is actually surprisingly good?
[22:39] <besoin> the dp must have been scrambling to make this movie without one moment of sunlight
[22:39] <kayke> just normal girl stuff
[22:39] <autarch> what song is this
[22:39] <besoin> veruca sugar
[22:39] <lhs> 2 non blondes
[22:40] <donnamartin__> lol besoin
[22:40] <dan2> haha both of u
[22:40] <donnamartin__> lol lhs
[22:40] <autarch> yes, hah to both
[22:40] <autarch> a heehaw to the boths of ya
[22:41] <dan2> ah, the missing ingredient
[22:41] <@Ampersand> sexobeat
[22:42] <lhs> i survived... the event horizon of the black hole eating this movie
[22:42] <kayke> she got them a veggie plate for their sex night
[22:42] <@Ampersand> she tried sex
[22:42] <besoin> she took one of tori's embyros or something, right?
[22:42] <lhs> yeah
[22:42] <kayke> yeah
[22:42] <Bob511> Ate a special.
[22:42] <autarch> your appendix?
[22:42] <besoin> well this won't be awkward
[22:42] <kayke> pop open the hood
[22:43] <lhs> heh
[22:43] <besoin> "i can see my house from here"
[22:44] <Bob511> "Don't worry.  We're in Canada."
[22:44] <besoin> you never know, tori might be happy to have a free surrogate"
[22:44] <autarch> it was awful..ly fun?
[22:44] <Trebbers> hint hint
[22:44] <Bob511> Not even a bit of hesitation.
[22:45] <donnamartin__> you've known her for 5 min
[22:45] <besoin> volvo
[22:46] <besoin> you'd think 85% of cars were volvos from the movies we watch
[22:46] <autarch> volvaries
[22:46] <besoin> boooo
[22:46] <lhs> no HIPAA either i guess
[22:47] <donnamartin__> damn that's loud cat
[22:47] <dan2> guess you should have been Guarding Tess
[22:47] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:47] <Trebbers> smash
[22:47] <besoin> there's only one other person in the movie, tori
[22:47] <donnamartin__> ah yes, prank murders
[22:47] <lhs> heh
[22:47] <@Ampersand> just some young hooligans
[22:47] <dan2> no good teens
[22:47] <@Ampersand> country kids
[22:47] <donnamartin__> uncool teen meet up
[22:47] <besoin> i killed my bff
[22:47] <Trebbers> hmmm
[22:48] <autarch> i killed my bff
[22:48] <Bob511> I Killed My All New BFF
[22:48] <dan2> I Killed My ALF
[22:48] <besoin> ...for being a racist
[22:48] <besoin> maybe ALF got tess
[22:48] <dan2> heh
[22:49] <besoin> yeah, well, i'm worried about all your zip-ups
[22:49] <dan2> doesn't everybody have a ghost in them?
[22:50] <donnamartin__> wow tori way to poor-lain her
[22:51] <besoin> will tori get the chance to tell callie to leggo my eggos
[22:51] <kayke> lol
[22:51] <kayke> I don't think tori needs a key to the apartment- it seemed like it had no walls
[22:52] <donnamartin__> love a good town gossip
[22:52] <lhs> excuse me, your hair has a bedskirt
[22:52] <donnamartin__> lol
[22:53] <kayke> that iron was the only thing heating this place!
[22:53] <donnamartin__> i avoid leaving my iron on by never ironing
[22:53] <besoin> those jams
[22:53] <autarch> oh my god that pic
[22:54] <donnamartin__> we just did anal
[22:54] <dan2> "We just boned on a tower."
[22:55] <besoin> why?
[22:55] <Bob511> Must be exhausting to haunt a day of the week.
[22:55] <@Ampersand> daaaaamn
[22:55] <Bob511> Week in, week out.
[22:55] <autarch> this lady
[22:55] <Trebbers> Oh, in that case I'll hire you now
[22:55] <donnamartin__> oh man, the town real estate lady's gonna wind up dead
[22:56] <Trebbers> Oh shitttt
[22:56] <autarch> god i hate this lady
[22:56] <donnamartin__> this is like evil star's holow
[22:56] <autarch> lol donna
[22:56] <Trebbers> was that a chuckle at the end?
[22:56] <donnamartin__> she was pleased with her bitchiness
[22:57] <kayke> the embryos are froze up like dipindots
[22:57] <autarch> yeah that chuckle was awful
[22:57] <autarch> star's holocaust
[22:57] <@Ampersand> yeaaaaah
[22:57] <besoin> bum bum BUMMMMMMM
[22:57] <donnamartin__> lolol
[22:57] <@Ampersand> frosted her
[22:57] <Trebbers> ahah
[22:57] <autarch> got her
[22:57] <donnamartin__> chill out
[22:58] <besoin> god, the cable car noises supposed to make us  believe this is san francisco
[22:58] <kayke> THEY USED 4 IN A MONTH?
[22:58] <dan2> Spames Jader
[22:58] <donnamartin__> lol
[22:59] <Bob511> By cashier's check?
[22:59] <autarch> lol
[22:59] <besoin> yeah, these two are basically twins
[23:00] <donnamartin__> detective tori on the case
[23:01] <kayke> i did not expect her to connect the dots this fast
[23:01] <kayke> what's the rest of the movie?
[23:01] <@Ampersand> the time is right to strike
[23:01] <Trebbers> Yeah, still sticking to the San Fran story
[23:01] <donnamartin__> i mean, she has a lot of evidence in her uterus
[23:01] <@Ampersand> probably shouldn't have lent her that cashier's check
[23:02] <besoin> snooping around in callie's files
[23:02] <lhs> fix your fucking books
[23:02] <besoin> wouldn't she see tori's car
[23:03] <autarch> woah i love her place
[23:03] <besoin> a tori wig
[23:04] <besoin> taking her life in her hands riding a bike in those boot cut jeans
[23:05] <donnamartin__> i wonder if kelly murdered his parents
[23:05] <Trebbers> oh nooooo
[23:05] <kayke> just get out of the situation. your husband ain't shit.
[23:05] <kayke> he has weird family issues and keeps detailed diaries
[23:05] <@Ampersand> "then, out of nowhere, she stuck a finger..."
[23:06] <autarch> i cant believe this guy is named Tahmoh Penikett
[23:06] <kayke> move back to the city, get a new cat
[23:06] <donnamartin__> uhhh
[23:06] <donnamartin__> amazing
[23:06] <Trebbers> hmm, show your work Tori
[23:06] <dan2> an eye for an eye, a baby for a baby
[23:07] <donnamartin__> welp, there goes that plan
[23:08] <besoin> framing her for arson?
[23:08] <kayke> "I only do that on tuesdays"
[23:09] <donnamartin__> how would she have killed her?
[23:10] <autarch> YOU HAVE THE SAME HAIR COLOR
[23:10] <kayke> maybe she wanted the wig as your friend
[23:10] <Trebbers> howwwwoooooo
[23:11] <Bob511> Aha
[23:11] <Trebbers> what is going on
[23:11] <donnamartin__> nu metal?
[23:11] <kayke> she went to dance to reality competition show music on a roof
[23:11] <besoin> just listening to the music from a surge ad
[23:11] <donnamartin__> this movie has some real tone shift
[23:11] <dan2> lol
[23:11] <autarch> "the shins
[23:12] <Trebbers> early in the movie for this
[23:12] <@Ampersand> took way too long to decide to save her
[23:12] <kayke> hesitate just long enough to make it weird
[23:12] <Bob511> Kind of weird that people in this movie spend so much effort trying to get pregnant
[23:12] <Bob511> when all they really have to do is move all the way to one side of the frame.
[23:13] <Trebbers> ahh
[23:13] <autarch> tori has never listened to music
[23:14] <besoin> she sure brought a lot of luggage
[23:16] <besoin> pissing with your mom
[23:16] <@Ampersand> pooping over here
[23:16] <besoin> power move
[23:16] <kayke> this lady needs to learn some bathroom boundaries
[23:16] <autarch> which one?
[23:16] <kayke> the pregnant one
[23:16] <Trebbers> haha
[23:16] <donnamartin__> uh oh
[23:16] <autarch> oh no
[23:18] <Trebbers> ruh oh
[23:18] <kayke> hahaha
[23:18] <autarch> woopsie daisy
[23:18] <Trebbers> I thought this was just really bad San Fran
[23:18] <Trebbers> where is this
[23:19] <dan2> she's gonna stick her hand in a warm bowl of peanut butter while she sleeps
[23:19] <kayke> i can't believe that slip up was actually an accident
[23:19] <autarch> gotta kill her now
[23:19] <Trebbers> Give mom a Kong with peanut butter
[23:20] <donnamartin__> did she put metal in the microwave?
[23:20] <autarch> yeah it's actually ok to do that
[23:22] <@Ampersand> bee venom tea
[23:23] <donnamartin__> why does tori care about kelly? she figured out she stole the eggs
[23:24] <besoin> she wants the baby i guess
[23:24] <kayke> she has to keep her around until the baby is born so they can do a blood test
[23:24] <autarch> this is insane
[23:24] <autarch> the way that these peoople are so obsessed with the baby's genes
[23:25] <kayke> yeah the husband's freak out about having a genetically related baby was really offputting
[23:26] <kayke> it seemed easy
[23:26] <Bob511> I Survived Back-to-Back Episodes
[23:26] <donnamartin__> this movie is oozing with passion
[23:27] <autarch> he is awful
[23:27] <kayke> the world
[23:27] <kayke> 'sthinnest scarf
[23:28] <@Ampersand> it's for the baby, don't you understand
[23:28] <kayke> good thing he had a towel handy
[23:28] <Bob511> Should have had Tori pretending to be pregnant this whole time.
[23:28] <Bob511> And then steal the baby.
[23:28] <besoin> MAY have been right?
[23:28] <autarch> lol bob
[23:29] <Bob511> I mean, the DNA would match.
[23:29] <dan2> tori could wear a fake baby belly the whole time, but then when the baby is born it's revealed that it's hollow to smuggle the baby out
[23:29] <Bob511> So much potential wasted.
[23:30] <lhs> there is another lifetime with that premise
[23:30] <dan2> yeah its ringing a bell kind of, I think we watched the tariler
[23:30] <Bob511> I mean, it was the premise of a two-part Arrested Development episode too.
[23:31] <lhs> https://www.mylifetime.com/movies/my-baby-is-gone
[23:31] <dan2> he wouldn't want to spend the rest of his life with a bear and woman
[23:31] <kayke> why would you let her push you
[23:31] <besoin> callie does have some guns
[23:31] <kayke> she's not pregnant anymore, kick her butt
[23:32] <@Ampersand> some people really do peak in high school
[23:32] <lhs> could at least be fighting over a better guy
[23:33] <autarch> yeah hee is worthless
[23:33] <kayke> tori should just go
[23:33] <dan2> the murder of her mother basically gets a "hrmpph"
[23:34] <kayke> cut your losses
[23:34] <dan2> *duel of the fates plays*
[23:34] <Trebbers>  ahha
[23:34] <besoin> jesus tori
[23:34] <donnamartin__> she brought a duffle bag to poker fitht
[23:34] <@Ampersand> lol dan
[23:34] <kayke> toss some snifters
[23:35] <Trebbers> Not well thought plan from Tori
[23:35] <autarch> ttori stinks at this
[23:36] <kayke> wouldn't be nice if we were older, then I could kill your wife's mom~
[23:36] <autarch> do it, noah
[23:36] <besoin> you could wrap a yacht in that shirt of his
[23:36] <Trebbers> come on
[23:36] <@Ampersand> fake out
[23:36] <@Ampersand> but ...why
[23:36] <kayke> okaaaaay
[23:36] <Trebbers> dummy
[23:36] <donnamartin__> well, they suck at this
[23:37] <Trebbers> the worst
[23:37] <lhs> he's almost dumb enough to be a pilot
[23:37] <besoin> should have used his 112" reach advantage
[23:37] <kayke> maybe the baby is good at fighting
[23:37] <dan2> lol
[23:37] <donnamartin__> the baby has to be better than they are
[23:37] <donnamartin__> i threw that lady on the ground
[23:38] <donnamartin__> uhhhh kiss?
[23:38] <autarch> wow
[23:38] <donnamartin__> they're def gonna need couples therapy
[23:38] <donnamartin__> as it turns out, tori just needed a surrogate
[23:39] <kayke> get a divorce
[23:39] <autarch> yeah
[23:39] <besoin> he got stabbed in the same place as callie and he's fine
[23:39] <donnamartin__> oh okay movie over
[23:39] <dan2> Check please!
[23:39] <@Ampersand> Hushed itself up
[23:39] <Bob511> Wolfgang Suk
[23:39] <kayke> what more is there to say
[23:40] <Trebbers> Fishcorb films
[23:40] <autarch> worst protagonists
[23:40] <donnamartin__> oh we should watch this movie
[23:40] <lhs> thanks, canada
[23:40] <@Ampersand> gotta watch em all
[23:40] <donnamartin__> fuckin canada
[23:40] <@Ampersand> night all. The Cheating Pact on Sunday!
[23:40] <lhs> we used to make shitflix in this country
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 24, 2020 7:43 am

This Sunday:
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 27, 2020 10:17 am

get ready to cheat
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 27, 2020 4:55 pm

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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 27, 2020 6:56 pm

2 hours til cheating commences!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Sep 27, 2020 8:49 pm

The Cheating Pact

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