HPN Movie Series: All American Xmas Carol, Sun @ 2200 EST

Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

Postby dan » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:42 pm

that's a top 5 preview image for sure
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dan
 
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:55 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - HOLLOW MAN
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:52 am

Code: Select all
Ampersand
3

Ampersand
2

Ampersand
1

shalabi
anyone else some russian shit

shalabi
see^

besoin
not i

shalabi
hmm uh oh

importantdentist
uh

Bob511
More like Matroshka Man

besoin
turn off the subtitles

shalabi
can someone type something that's on screen right now

besoin
what the dickens

dan
yeah my encoding job on this might have been really shoddy, I didn't realize it was gonna get used tonight

besoin
joey slotnick

importantdentist
wait are there two sets of names on purpose

besoin
not sure what the transparent things are supposed to be

bbm
invisible ink

bbm
or something

lhs
soup

besoin
something vaguely science-y

Ampersand
lol

dan
I guess its for germaphobes who don't want to read bacteria letters

shalabi
alphabet soup

importantdentist
yeah those are chromosomes duh

Bob511
There's a fair amount of microscope looking in the movie, so...

Ampersand
Titles by Chef Boyardee

dan
heh

besoin
really horrible title sequence

Bob511
Story definitely not by HG Wells

dan
intentional that the EH came toward the screen first?

besoin
this is great rat footage though

Trebbers
Fleeing from this movie

besoin
well not anymore

importantdentist
ah ok

bbm
just wanted to take a damn shower

Bob511
Kong researchers hard at work on the cutting edge of dog toy technology

besoin
this is how science happens alright

bbm
coding Spore

dan
Invisible Leno

Trebbers
Unstable huh

Trebbers
subtle

dan
he's in Bacon's room monologing but you can't see him

lhs
can't wait to not see this haircut anymore

bbm
chekhovs :ahuh:

sideshowraheem
establishing this guy as a ccreep early

importantdentist
the only thing i remember about this is seeing a commercial for it and thinking it would be a pretty surefire way to see some boobs

dan
dammit, I'll never see a naked woman *goes back to computer*

besoin
that's the entire premise of the movie, ID

importantdentist
i was 12, what's their excuse

dan
it's boobish even for Verhoeven if I recall

Trebbers
*Draws boobs in molecules*

bbm
puts boobs on the

bbm
haha

dan
although this isn't the extended cut, so maybe some are missing

shalabi
that's all it takes to do some science

bbm
well

importantdentist
they had skype in 2000?

bbm
this is like 2017

Trebbers
Not at that quality

bbm
in 2000

importantdentist
dude

shalabi
Nokia computers

dan
they're gonna replace DNA with twinkies?

bbm
no

bbm
with a tiddy

Bob511
The opacity on his window manager is way too high for his character.

bbm
weird how brolin looks like an old guy even 18 years ago

Ampersand
aww ye

importantdentist
oh HELL YEAH

bbm
hahaa

Trebbers
bobbin my head

shalabi
decent needle drop

lhs
from one grown-out bowl cut to another

Ampersand
lolol

Trebbers
ahahh

besoin
music for hollow men

bbm
what is this sick track

Bob511
Do you think song placement contracts have bonuses when the actors sing along to it?

besoin
they should

Ampersand
nice of the Bacon Brothers to lend an original song

Bob511
"Here at Hollow Man Brewing"

shalabi
they work in Chernobyl

bbm
sweet duster

dan
the abandoned spirograph factory

bbm
haha

importantdentist
would this have been better with jim carrey

bbm
absolutely

bbm
but bacon is a great bad guy

besoin
they need to work on their animal protocols

importantdentist
um have you SEEN the number 23

bbm
of course

sideshowraheem
saved some gorilla money in this one

Bob511
Man, who experiments on gorillas?

sideshowraheem
this movie and the planet of the apes lab

importantdentist
and 28 days later

dan
this is in case they ever want to make a 900lb person invisible when they go to market

importantdentist
what does that tell you

shalabi
lol

bbm
hmm

besoin
yeah, get in a cage with an angry gorilla

Trebbers
lol

bbm
rough start to the day

Bob511
The thrice-daily ape escape.

lhs
needs steroids for the world series

bbm
LOL

besoin
the great grape (we think) ape

bbm
and leather dusters

sideshowraheem
if this movie had been about an invisible zoo jailbreak, now that's a movie

bbm
hmm

importantdentist
cue "walk of life"

Trebbers
aha

sideshowraheem
ahaha imp

bbm
wait didn't a good director direct this

Ampersand
10 bucks says i can make her hot before prom

shalabi
lol

bbm
isn't this like ridley scott

sideshowraheem
Verhoeven

besoin
isn't an invisible gorilla pretty dangerous

bbm
oh verhoeven

bbm
haha

bbm
questionable

shalabi
"different" not necessarily "good"

Trebbers
*trips over invisible gorilla*

bbm
how do all of these actors look the same

sideshowraheem
all women in this lab must have short hair

besoin
injecting an already invisible gorilla seems like bad science

bbm
its one thing to make a gorilla invisible

Bob511
I mean, he's still a scientist working on a top-secret project to make people invisible.

bbm
how to bring them back????

Bob511
So not "everything".

bbm
silver back

importantdentist
so they can already make a gorilla invisible

bbm
oh that guy

shalabi
trailer line

besoin
the woz from pirates of silicon valley

besoin
joey slotnick

bbm
him and shue have the same salonist

Trebbers
Not even trying to make KB appealing before he does a heel turn

importantdentist
they are not taking very many protective measures

Trebbers
The smallest bottle of Faygo they sell

besoin
nice flesh colored gloves

importantdentist
imagine being the lady who has to pretend pet the invisible gorilla

dan
damn taggers

bbm
hahaaa

bbm
this movie is moving along at a brisk pace

sideshowraheem
this is already so stupid

bbm
hahhaha

bbm
yessss

importantdentist
i'm confused

importantdentist
how would

besoin
i guess the gorilla didn't have any food in it

nonchalant
is that other dude from Heroes?

importantdentist
ah whatever

dan
congrats, you put glo-stick fluid into an ape's bloodstream

importantdentist
i was thinking that too nonchalant

sideshowraheem
you see the stuff in the veins but not the veins?

shalabi
*instantly flows to penis*

Bob511
Grunberg, yeah.

Bob511
Abrams buddy.

bbm
they're bringing the gorilla BACK

bbm
hahahhahahaha

bbm
it seeems to be working

importantdentist
well this totally negates the point

bbm
so many gifs

shalabi
why would it need to be awake for this

besoin
start mouth to mouth

bbm
funny i remember this shit from seeing it in the theater with my dad

dan
"shes going ape s...don't make me say it"

Ampersand
heart's got a boner

bbm
hahaha

bbm
i remember my dad being so disappointed

lhs
adding nacho cheese

nonchalant
lol

bbm
i think he asked me if i wanted to leave like right around now

Ampersand
lol lhs

besoin
quantum signatures

importantdentist
so making it invisible wasn't the hard part, making it visible again was?

Bob511
Yeah

Trebbers
YEAH BABY

dan
I'd just dump a bucket of paint on it and call it a day

shalabi
SCIENCE BITCH

importantdentist
yeah this was a johnny quest episode i think

bbm
bacon half awake as an evil guy

bbm
huh

besoin
foreshadowing!

Bob511
Brolin already on his way to being the Mummy.

sideshowraheem
foreshadowing

sideshowraheem
dammit

lhs
they turn invisible to bail on the check

besoin
does it seem like this is bacon's true self

importantdentist
that's their next project

dan
Time Changer would beg to differ

shalabi
Timer Man

Bob511
"If only someone had written a story about it that was now in the public domain..."

besoin
shue needs some conditioner

Ampersand
UGLY. BACON. UGLY. GO AWAY.

dan
dogs don't know it's not bacon

dan
this is the kind of footage I would show if I wanted to get all of my funding stripped

Bob511
"To see more, generals, please purchase the director's cut."

sideshowraheem
"we'd like to buy your half formed gorilla screaming in pain drug"

Trebbers
"We want to be in the gorilla screaming business"

besoin
trump would keep funding this

besoin
more content for the gorilla channel

Trebbers
"Can you make a shark invisible?"

dan
"But the budget has only alotted for 12 gorilla funerals a year and you've already gone way over that"

Ampersand
does he really not own any other tie

sideshowraheem
ahaha dan

lhs
why would he need to, amp

importantdentist
"you want to see boobs don't you!!"

besoin
they don't want to get scooped by the other gorilla torture projects

Bob511
Coca Cola?

Bob511
Figured this for a Crystal Pepsi office.

Trebbers
Man, imagine being the Coke ad exec watching this movie for the first time

Ampersand
"if we do this, we might just have a shot of making your bangs visible again"

importantdentist
bro

importantdentist
well someone's not getting any tonight

Bob511
He does?

sideshowraheem
is this big dick foreshadowing?

sideshowraheem
"we can't go forward with the testing, we've already lost Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash!"

besoin
remember how bacon was the sane/cautious one in flatliners

besoin
what a change

Mesh
hello i'm 40 minutes behind

Ampersand
he must have seen David Ayer's Justice League

dan
only 27

dan
Bacon is still visible

Ampersand
we can give you the time when you're ready

dan
you want 28:00 mesh?

importantdentist
bacon contributed that joke to the script

importantdentist
oh and that butt

besoin
gross butt

dan
28

Ampersand
very poor butt

Bob511
I don't know why they're worried about the military when HR should have shut down this project ages ago.

shalabi
stunt butt

besoin
i hope janice is the only survivor

besoin
put THAT in your CO2 car

sideshowraheem
that is extremely faulty logic

Trebbers
"I hope we're not making a snuff film" - said by 90% of the crew on Verhoeven movies

Bob511
No, Bacon and Brolin definitely worked after this movie, besoin.

dan
Mountain Dew Invisible Ice

Ampersand
nah it

Ampersand
it's just normal Baja Blast

shalabi
lot of air bubbles going in

besoin
administrated

Bob511
"A little...extreme...."

dan
well thats the key, bubbles are invisible inside right?

shalabi
only his dick disappears

lhs
nothing's happening is right

importantdentist
it's a boner

dan
invisiboner

Ampersand
"i'm starting to tinkle"

besoin
what on earth

Trebbers
ew

dan
his ass has fully retracted into his body now

shalabi
i saw dick

Trebbers
yep

importantdentist
definitely thought that was fake when he was thrusting

importantdentist
oh his dick already disappeared ok

lhs
if you keep picking at it, it'll never heal

Ampersand
lol

besoin
that's a wrap on bacon

besoin
voiceover work from here

dan
might want to get some aloe for that

Ampersand
sometimes you've just got to get over your nerves

shalabi
oh shit that dick

sideshowraheem
oh hello

Trebbers
my god

importantdentist
COOL - ADMIN

Ampersand
Skeleton Man

dan
lol

shalabi
haha

Trebbers
Would love an oral history of the guys who animated Kevin Bacon's invisible dick

dan
listen to the commentary and find out

besoin
easy there

importantdentist
that's twice as much as before!

importantdentist
uhhhh

bbm
hahahahha

bbm
ha ha

bbm
sebass

sideshowraheem
I want to see some yo yo action

besoin
why are the lights controlled by whatever the hell that was

sideshowraheem
how were the animals not driven insane by not being able to sleep

bbm
do you think bacon took a pay cut so he could just record most of his lines from vacation

Bob511
Eyelids are transparent, but his optical nerve works fine.

dan
oh man

Trebbers
really flopping around

shalabi
yikes

importantdentist
AH THE HEAT MAP DICK

bbm
everyone here is a little too playful

sideshowraheem
well he's a big rape guy already, thanks movie

Bob511
Wasting no creep time.

Trebbers
Right into it

dan
oh no, he's doing a Bacon strip

besoin
his very first act

importantdentist
he's been waiting years for this

bbm
the rest of the movie is him being a rape guy

shalabi
zero to molester in less than 5 minutes

bbm
sorry, spoilers

Trebbers
ugh

Ampersand
aaaagh

besoin
fear the walking bacon

Bob511
This seems like the sort of thing that you get caught doing whether or not you're invisible.

importantdentist
she's like "oh must be kevin bacon"

importantdentist
check his dong!

bbm
upper body hornier than usual

sideshowraheem
give him a damn sleep mask

Bob511
Like, you turn invisible, and the first crime you decide to pull are crank calls.

bbm
whats with everyone wearing matching powder blue suits

bbm
is it to match bacons eyes

dan
"please stop being so concerned and let me walk around the gorilla cages at night"

Bob511
::attaches googly eyes to Bacon's face:;

besoin
oh come on

Trebbers
oh god

lhs
seersucker scrubs

besoin
he's not in the women's bathroom

bbm
he goes where he pleases

besoin
very private bathroom

Bob511
She's not in the women's bathroom, either, it seems.

bbm
yea

dan
Thermal Pissin'

importantdentist
they should have chosen a less pervy dude to be their first subject

bbm
also there's an invisible stall

bbm
needs privacy drapes

Bob511
"I'd pull a Nigerian prince scam, they'd never catch me."

Ampersand
it's almost like technology is bad

bbm
is this like

bbm
undercover boss

dan
lol bbm

Ampersand
heh

importantdentist
whose blood is that

besoin
it's too bad sight is our only sense

sideshowraheem
why isn't his blood invisible?

bbm
ew

Ampersand
"let's play hide the sebastian"

Trebbers
uh

sideshowraheem
ewwwww

importantdentist
uh

shalabi
uhhh

Trebbers
fuck

shalabi
this is a metaphor for women in STEM

bbm
wrong guy!

dan
Bacon comes back, but he's covered head to toe with gorilla hair

Ampersand
tang it that stings

besoin
let him die

bbm
"j/k"

bbm
he shouldn't be stronger

shalabi
what are the point of those straps

bbm
or was that something they established

lhs
he's allergic to yellow 5

dan
they couldn't put a little pair of shorts on him?

bbm
red noses lights up and buzzes

dan
medical diagnosis: he's boned

importantdentist
a cake! good idea

dan
seems like a big breakfast

besoin
could have just put some lotion on or something

Bob511
"If I'm going to be stuck like this, we're going to blow through our fishing line budget. Have to make a few adjustments."

lhs
hellow!

bbm
watches Darkman once

Ampersand
lol

dan
finally, the Powder sequel we've all been waiting for

shalabi
coulnd't they have done this days ago

bbm
fuckin cohesion

Ampersand
"let's face it: i suck at minesweeper"

sideshowraheem
these people remember a lot of things their grade school teachers said

Bob511
Wait, isn't he trying to get to B?

importantdentist
ah

bbm
cohesion and cambria

bbm
fuck u bro

bbm
im fuckin invisible bruh

dan
pull out the big gulps baybee

Ampersand
invisible nipples

dan
the unimaginable horror...of looking like Rick Scott

lhs
gary busey IS the unabomber

dan
lol

importantdentist
oh welp

Trebbers
ahaahhaa

dan
this movie shreds

importantdentist
AH

Trebbers
ahahaha

Trebbers
Hollow ham

lhs
he could be in any strip club

importantdentist
so does the food turn invisible or

Bob511
Hints at a more wholesome movie, where invisible jerk Kevin Bacon goes around frightening children instead of raping people.

besoin
ah, the mind of a man

sideshowraheem
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Bob511
That "I was raped by a man I couldn't see" crime report isn't exactly going to take a lineup.

besoin
great opsec, rhona

sideshowraheem
hopefully she has a stray open bucket of paint around somewhere

importantdentist
dude is totally blowing it

besoin
if only it was raining

besoin
janice is the audience surrogate

dan
I feel like a playful wig for Bacon would help ease tension around the office

Bob511
How is his hair not killing him, being covered in latex?

lhs
the lack of noseholes in that mask is making me uncomfortable

shalabi
it's hard to get green paint in there

besoin
very heavy sleepers in this movie

besoin
if your eyes are closed it doesn't matter if the person is invisible or not

importantdentist
it's all the same in the dark (or the light)

lhs
someone went to town on these imdb keywords

besoin
shouldn't sebastian be working on this

dan
she dreamed the Bacon was makin' a break in

lhs
"caressing", "science runs amok", "reference to jonas salk"

shalabi
close enough

sideshowraheem
"dick muscles"

besoin
i hope the gorilla kills him

Bob511
No, Grunberg seems to actually like him.

Ampersand
lol

dan
just noticed his ear holes are sealed too

sideshowraheem
that mold must feel like shit on her skin

Ampersand
post-op Freddy Kreuger

shalabi
the ol' looping video trick

Ampersand
runs away to realize his potential by joining the cast of Impractical Jokers

besoin
just chilling out with only one button done up

Bob511
"Damn invisible punks."

dan
really had to emphasize that phone hanging up

besoin
jesus

importantdentist
oh!

Trebbers
shit

Ampersand
wowza

shalabi
da fuck

dan
talk about a dog pound

Trebbers
ahah

Ampersand
lol

Bob511
Dan,

Bob511
"Clearing out your office" seems like it means something a little different at Invisible Inc.

importantdentist
he's pinching the phone cord together like a hose, holding up the call

besoin
too bad it's not winter

shalabi
not very inconspicuous

Ampersand
as they say: kill yr funding

besoin
wouldn't bacon be drowning too

dan
now that's what I call wetwork

sideshowraheem
maybe these idiots should like wear their infared goggles a bit more instead of just watching the one moniter

dan
I'd just turn a bunch of humidifiers on

dan
or get one of those real fluffly cats to run around

sideshowraheem
get some fog machines and a strobe going

importantdentist
megabyte of ram should do the trick

besoin
scientists always also write their lab security software

besoin
damn, not janice

lhs
not a good idea to require a code to exit

dan
I'd play a VR game where Bacon is trying to kill you

Bob511
Black woman, first to die.

importantdentist
i thought he was going to do a 2001 reference there

Bob511
That had to be a tag line on some poster or another, right?

sideshowraheem
just let the gorilla loose

dan
yeah, I'm sure it would hate Bacon

Ampersand
janICE'D

besoin
put your fucking goggles on, idiots

sideshowraheem
put your fucking goggles on!

sideshowraheem
lol

lhs
imagine what you can do when you no longer relate to that michael jackson song

besoin
year 1

dan
"alright we're gonna need a net and a pile of twinkies"

Bob511
Heh

besoin
goggles!

lhs
a net and a pile of sleeping women

besoin
heh

shalabi
it's on a dog or something, right?

sideshowraheem
unfortunately they're incapable of looking up

Bob511
I dunno, this seems a bad time to be playing Combat on their Atari.

Ampersand
yesss

besoin
ouch

sideshowraheem
yikes

Trebbers
grody

shalabi
welp

Bob511
Are these, like, flint-encased darts?

sideshowraheem
if only you had some sort of device you could put on your eyes to see where the guy trying to kill you is

Ampersand
lol

shalabi
LOL

Ampersand
the goggles, you might say they do nothing

sideshowraheem
Get Carter?

lhs
the tale of the super specs

dan
spray it more toward his crotch

dan
got a whole fridge full of ape blood, should be close enough

shalabi
this is my fetish

shalabi
sliding on ape blood

besoin
come on, joanie

sideshowraheem
they should have brought some paintball guns

Bob511
She's just trying to lure Dracula here to fight the Invisible Man.

lhs
his dirty pillows

Ampersand
i wish, bob

shalabi
what

besoin
one last grope

dan
gonna need a lot of wet naps now

Bob511
Good work, guys.

sideshowraheem
curls is so fuckin dead

sideshowraheem
yep

Trebbers
ah

dan
thankfully they still have like 40 more bags of ape blood

besoin
just break the fan things

besoin
you have a crow bar

importantdentist
doesn't he know the only way they can survive is fucking

lhs
"can you feel it when i stick my hand in there"

Bob511
Duck tape, Bacon...this is an episode of MythBusters, right?

sideshowraheem
what they really need to save the day is a duct ape

dan
lol

Trebbers
hojly

besoin
no, my extremities went numb first

Trebbers
Tape over the vents dummy

lhs
putting their relationship on ice

besoin
fix your fuckin' face, bro

Bob511
Bulletproof freezer windows. Spared no expense.

lhs
nope, he's still busey

sideshowraheem
he only looks like 5% worse than Gary Busey tbh

Ampersand
he's a Gary Busey police sketch

dan
heh

importantdentist
oh, science!

importantdentist
good one

Ampersand
can't forget the Carlo Rossi

dan
a little something for the road

importantdentist
is that.... how that works

Bob511
Correction: duct tape, bacon, electromagnets, and homemade explosives.

sideshowraheem
he's even doing busey mannerisms

Ampersand
it's a miracle

dan
*slips on blood and dies*

Trebbers
Turn the heat up lady

Bob511
Just need to grow some potatoes now.

sideshowraheem
they aren't even trying with the minor science stuff in this movie

lhs
audience surrogate

besoin
yeah, 9 pages of printer paper oughta warm him up

Bob511
One keyboard down, like thirteen others to go.

Trebbers
So I guess the thing doesn't plug into the wall

dan
you know even if he did escape, it would really suck having to walk around without shoes all the time when you wanted to be invis

besoin
good thing he wore his flammables

Trebbers
This shit is mean

sideshowraheem
it's true god does like setting things on fire

importantdentist
she just kinda shrugged off that explosion right next to her

besoin
why is he visible

besoin
uh

shalabi
skin flakes?

Ampersand
accept the mystery

besoin
NOW she does that

dan
why wasn't it going off before?

besoin
he only has severe burns on 99% of his body

importantdentist
brolin comin

sideshowraheem
that's what I thought she was doing with the paper in the drum

besoin
hit him again

dan
"I _HATE_ soggy Bacon!"

importantdentist
oh man that's all it took?

besoin
cave his head in

lhs
the bacon is now crispy

dan
he Frank Grimes'd himself

besoin
isn't there a hollow man 2?

Ampersand
Hollower Man

sideshowraheem
9/11 2

dan
Hollow Man$

besoin
vacuum man

Ampersand
lol

shalabi
hehe dan

Ampersand
he likes his flames like he likes his ties

dan
your tax dollars at work folks!

besoin
they really gave this movie too large a budget

besoin
the explosion propelled the elevator up?

shalabi
i'm no scientist...but doesn't heat rise?

importantdentist
wh

Bob511
I guess they went for the self-destruct package instead of the safety brakes.

besoin
oh come on

importantdentist
oh ok

dan
it's Luis Guzman

sideshowraheem
did the drug also make him unkillable?

dan
he just cut loose

dan
looking forward to our army of invisible immortal enraged gorillas in a few years

shalabi
mmm scar tissue

Ampersand
rip his veins out

Ampersand
lol

Bob511
I'm really surprised at how fragile the infrastructure of this rusted-out whole in the ground of a military lab turned out to be.

shalabi
gif gif gif

Trebbers
hahahahaahahh

importantdentist
she maybe did not think that out too well

dan
well, he's bakin' now

lhs
wiener swinging frantically

besoin
she has more upper body strength than i do, that's for sure

Bob511
With an elevator gash in her shoulder, no less.

besoin
woof

shalabi
quick end it

dan
"evacuate these actors immediately, move move!"

Bob511
Tom Woodruff was the gorilla.

Bob511
Awesome.

importantdentist
five minutes of sfx credits

besoin
"dick muscle composite lead"

dan
the extended was over 2 hours I think so we made the right call

shalabi
Hollow Man 2 is based on the very first draft of the Paul Verhoeven film.

Trebbers
So, more rape?

Ampersand
i can't even imagine how they could extend this anymore

dan
R. Todd Schlopy is hilarious

shalabi
i think we have to see 2 at some point

importantdentist
that would be my guess yeah

Bob511
The extended version had a lot more of the rape and dog-murdering scenes, so yeah.

Ampersand
blech

dan
so did all those apes and dogs get roasted :(

shalabi
no, they're fine

besoin
i love that they filmed this on location

besoin
very necessary

importantdentist
what location? i missed it

besoin
dc

Bob511
DC

dan
THE LOOP TROOP

Ampersand
they escaped, we just didn't see them
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Postby Mesh » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:28 pm

Came in 28 minutes late, enjoyed 40 minutes of Hollow Man too much to tinychat, then lost the war with bedtime. I'll try again soon!
...brewed into the common yeast of the waves.
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Postby Ampersand » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:08 pm

This Thursday @ 2200 EST,
imagine if...
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Postby Jeremy » Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:10 am

Fuuuuck, wish I could do this one. We had it at the video store I used to work at for some insane reason and I always wondered what the fuck it was but obviously didn't want to watch it in a public retail space.
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Postby Ampersand » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:02 pm

Ampersand wrote:This Thursday @ 2200 EST,
imagine if...
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Postby goofjan » Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:05 pm

oh man Travolta's voice in this. wtf.
plz if u get a chanse put some flowrs on algernons grave kthxbye
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Postby glock mane » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:29 pm

the title is a pretty spectacular and ironic self-own that posits 'either way, it's our burden!'
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:16 am

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
PM me or check the hpn dropbox for the movie!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:46 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
PM me or check the hpn dropbox for the movie!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:03 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
PM me or check the hpn dropbox for the movie!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:30 pm

1.5 hour warning!
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:44 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - White Man's Burden
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https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

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Postby Ampersand » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:56 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - White Man's Burden
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https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

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Postby Ampersand » Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:38 am

Code: Select all
Ampersand
3

Ampersand
2

Ampersand
1

besoin
the saved by the bell people

ratbag
rysher logo is GOAT

ratbag
you see those buildins

importantdentist
ugg?

sideshowraheem
man that logo gave me vertigo

ratbag
and you know its a classic

dan
read that as UGK at first

Trebbers
ah

besoin
is that aunt viv

besoin
it is aunt viv

besoin
i'm so disoriented!

Ampersand
is this what Ben Shapiro thinks Black Panther is like

ratbag
wait

ratbag
is this about

besoin
in john travolta's case, probably yes

sideshowraheem
makes u think

ratbag
the reverse?

ratbag
of racism

Ampersand
yes

ratbag
oh jesus christ

importantdentist
whose idea was this

sideshowraheem
this is some trenchant fucking symbolism right here

besoin
how it's made

dan
just like nougat and chocolate people need to come together

Trebbers
Ratbags reaction is like those videos where a child hears for the first time

lhs
willy wonka's burden

sideshowraheem
I love chocolate covered styrofoam

Ampersand
lol hls

Ampersand
*lhs

besoin
are there white people farming the cacao

dan
the director/write has very little else on his imdb

besoin
american me!

dan
something called Body Rock which looks cool

dan
I will have to check it out besoin

besoin
do they usually play this on day one of the RNC, or do they save it for the last night?

shalabi
solid loop through the weekend

sideshowraheem
holy shit

importantdentist
this

besoin
the white man's burden lounge by koch industries

ratbag
this song is fucking distracting

importantdentist
get it, cause usually it's white people who have dogs

dan
I really want to think this is just ultra misguided rather than openly hateful, but I guess I will have to wait till we're mre than 5 minutes in

besoin
maybe a cop will just shoot him 23 minutes in

sideshowraheem
"I'm a fly ass honky just chillin"

lhs
i hope this is extremely alt history and we learn how africa colonized and enslaved europe

ratbag
what colour is his hair

importantdentist
i need more movies set in the white man's burden cinematic universe

dan
peacocks? now THAT's rich livin

sideshowraheem
that white stereotype of owning a peacock

importantdentist
oh, hello fellow white person

importantdentist
that's her dad?

besoin
i think maybe she said thad

importantdentist
she's just getting naked in front of her dad?

dan
Belafonte has to have his brick of nougat

besoin
but that was alarming

ratbag
how did this not start an MCU style thing

besoin
he drove to portland

ratbag
dozens of films set in this universe

dan
theres a solid 1/3 of the country set in this universe mentally

ratbag
trye

ratbag
true

importantdentist
i want some WMBCU movies that aren't really about race, just a regular movie where all the poor people are white

ratbag
why does he have red hair

besoin
we don't get to have the better culture in this universe?

sideshowraheem
Andrew WK was wanted for murder

Ampersand
no role models!

Trebbers
uh

sideshowraheem
oh my god

besoin
it's...the littlest lawrence brother

importantdentist
due to white oppression we developed a vibrant culture of songs about partying

Ampersand
WASP Boy

besoin
only 23 years before they release the seminal superhero movie white tiger

Trebbers
Just imagining a 1995 Watchmen with John Travolta as Rorschach

besoin
these houses cost like $1.5M today

ratbag
the red hair is insane

importantdentist
does he have to do that voice

dan
what's with the helium tank in that kid's room

besoin
he has cancer or something

besoin
or...sickle cell?

dan
I had no idea, I'm so sorry

importantdentist
fuck

shalabi
his room is a Primer time travel box

sideshowraheem
none of the other white people are talking like that but he still decided to make the choice

importantdentist
nice black family

ratbag
he was hanging out with tarantino way too much around this time

ratbag
tarantino probably gave him notes

sideshowraheem
yeah he does do a similar thing in Pulp Fiction

importantdentist
like he could talk in any existing white ethnic accent but he's not

Trebbers
So was he delivering candy?

dan
now comes the part where he loses an arm in a taffy pulling accident and it all starts falling apart

lhs
nose candy

besoin
i think i saw this actor at the whitney a few weeks ago

sideshowraheem
it was super funky fresh baby!

besoin
it's about seeing the wife, right?

ratbag
i think so

importantdentist
"is it my accent"

besoin
this accent is too much

ratbag
he delivered a package alright

ratbag
the red hair

ratbag
the accent

ratbag
jesus

sideshowraheem
"Tell him if he doesn't give me my job back I'll take this all the way to president Oprah"

besoin
intermezzo

shalabi
fin

Ampersand
damn, the burden

besoin
so heavy

dan
there goes all the free candy lucnhes too

importantdentist
are there white people that work in social services in our real world

shalabi
yeah....that's the thing

ratbag
his hair isnt red anymore

Ampersand
he takes care of his own dye job

dan
it was all Red Hots dust in his hair from the factory floor

ratbag
lol

besoin
would harlem have an incredibly black name in this universe?

ratbag
maybe its like a mood ring

ratbag
when hes luck its red

ratbag
when hes down it goes brown

dan
uh oh

besoin
shoot him

importantdentist
i really have no idea how to react to this

dan
its woke, yet still fucked

dan
I believe is my takeaway

importantdentist
what black person would agree to be in this

shalabi
what person would agree to be in this

lhs
fuck tha police by nordics with attitudes

dan
lol

importantdentist
ha

ratbag
hes white rodney

sideshowraheem
Rodney Prince

Trebbers
Travolta wasn't even the one they were really mad at

ratbag
they shouldve just called this White Rodney

importantdentist
this is producing a visceral reaction in me but i have no idea what it is

ratbag
whered his truck go

besoin
it's that guy from die hard 2

ratbag
yeah

ratbag
hes a classic

ratbag
"we need a guy that calls people MAN alot"

importantdentist
aaaahhhhh

Trebbers
what

dan
frighty whiteys

ratbag
just realized that for white supremacists this is Get Out

besoin
kelly lynch hot off her turn in virtuosity

dan
really wish this was a 1080p rip so I could read what all those tapes are

ratbag
i wonder if i can find quentin tarantino praising this movie somewhere

dan
I could easily see this making his top 10 of the year

besoin
those little bowl cuts are an emblem of privilege

importantdentist
not in this universe

ratbag
the theoretical intentions of this film when put into practice like this are just...insane

dan
is there such a thing as "natural white hair" that would even be a thing in this world

Ampersand
Tarantino's producer Lawrence Bender also produced this

shalabi
well that was quick

ratbag
thats true it is a bender production

dan
a little weird how much they made travolta swear in this

ratbag
Shortly after the Cannes Film Festival last year, the newly hot Travolta was at a photo shoot with Quentin Tarantino, when the filmmaker whispered, "I need to talk to you." Upon later conferral, it turned out the grave matter Tarantino had on his mind was recommending a script called "White Man's Burden" that Bender had passed on to him.

ratbag
lol

importantdentist
whoa

importantdentist
is that real

ratbag
yes

shalabi
lol

ratbag
from the la times

Ampersand
amazing

ratbag
articles.latimes.com/1995-03-19/entertainment/ca-44585_1_white-man-s-burden/2

shalabi
yeesh

ratbag
omg

ratbag
Travolta has a new, short, blond 'do that might make him look too much like Billy Idol, if his well-rounded cheeks didn't give him a more cherubic countenance, all of which puts a softer edge on his hard behavior. It's a, well, amazing look.

ratbag
i want to be the world's foremost scholar on white man's burden

dan
incredible sentence

Ampersand
ah, finally, the music of the people

importantdentist
why are they playing this rich people music

besoin
it was easy to get a telemarketing job in 95

dan
so did white people invent the blues in this world?

dan
he left his keys in the factory

besoin
this is basically christmas vacation now

besoin
probably could have tried it without the gun

besoin
oh, nevermind

dan
he needs the cash to buy some less beat up paper

shalabi
how long can this interaction go

importantdentist
the president of the bank?

ratbag
roger ebert gave this more stars than i expected

importantdentist
it's a supremely uncomfortable experience

dan
"Alright new plan: drive me to McDonalds and buy me $50,000 worth of hamburgers"

Trebbers
"Move those empties out of the way"

ratbag
is his beer belly prosthetic do you think

besoin
over my ass?

dan
uh whuh

ratbag
how many times do you think harry belafonte slapped travolta behind the scenes during this shoot

dan
I kind of want to see him attempt to go over Travolta's ass

Ampersand
lol

besoin
what's the plan here

lhs
he's going to try to reach him by connecting poetry to heavy metal lyrics

importantdentist
hahaha

Trebbers
Aw dem years

sideshowraheem
all dem years

ratbag
travolta kind of looks like benvolio from baz luhrmann's romeo and juliet

besoin
he's speaking a patois suddenly

Ampersand
it's getting worse and worse

ratbag
he sounds like rob ford drunk at the steak place

ratbag
sorry if that reference is too canadian

sideshowraheem
I know exactly what you're talking about

dan
I guess after losing his job he stopped putting on airs

importantdentist
i know what rob ford, drunk, and steak are

ratbag
thank you raheem

lhs
another delivery cracker

besoin
buzz your buzz

ratbag
this movie is limited to like two white slurs

sideshowraheem
yeah I was assuming there would be more racial slurs

besoin
oh noooooo

dan
I wanted the cops to rattling off a bunch of them

ratbag
im guessing the n word doesnt exist

importantdentist
oh lolol

Trebbers
Meta barf

ratbag
this is like 8 different movies

Ampersand
this movie really has everything

importantdentist
rennid ot gnimoc s'ohw sseug

ratbag
guess who's coming to christmas vacation mr. tibbs

besoin
how de babies

Trebbers
Has phone sex w/HB in the booth

Ampersand
lolol besoin

ratbag
whats up with dem kids

besoin
some walking dead set design

ratbag
this is a hell of a movie to be watching during black history month

sideshowraheem
"the neighbourhood wasn't like this before the FBI started introducing marijuana and white wine in the 1980s"

besoin
"just strew cardboard everywhere -- it's the apocalypse"

ratbag
lol raheem

ratbag
the chardonnay cartels

ratbag
of south france

besoin
haha

ratbag
she just looked at her bracelet

ratbag
for the time

besoin
damned straw hairs

ratbag
your husband has been kidnapped by a deranged jive talking ginger

besoin
mayonnaise sandwiches

Trebbers
ah

ratbag
love that instead of hip hop

importantdentist
what is this... ham... burger?

ratbag
everyone blasts punk

dan
3 grand?!

lhs
cheese soup

importantdentist
could someone make a movie called the straight man's burden

Trebbers
dummy

ratbag
this is insane

ratbag
holy shit

dan
there is something like that set in a highschool dentist

Trebbers
h=sheeeet

importantdentist
that has all these same sex couples discriminating against heterosexuals

dan
can't remember what it was called though

besoin
how did the music stop

Trebbers
Walkman stopped the bullet

ratbag
i see he watches red green

dan
heh

besoin
white people and their slices of baguette

dan
classic white soul food

ratbag
just realized in this universe kenny g is miles davis

besoin
i hope there's a montage with imagine playing soon

besoin
well this is bizarre

importantdentist
chicken place eh

besoin
what's with the steel drums

importantdentist
calypso music is very fancy in this universe

importantdentist
they developed it in norway for some reason

dan
Abar?

besoin
this is very cinematic

besoin
"can he dunk a basketball?"

Ampersand
"i want the black one, dad"

importantdentist
who's on the dollar bill

importantdentist
george washingblack

besoin
george washington carver

lhs
george washington carver

besoin
wokka wokka

lhs
q:

Trebbers
how slow can they make this fucking scene

besoin
calypso fantastique -- 17:43

ratbag
this is jean luc godard's fave scene

besoin
chromaman?

lhs
is it monday yet so the bank will be open again

lhs
that's what they're dicking around for, right

sideshowraheem
we have 48 more real time hours of film until monday

ratbag
lol

besoin
wait until they find out it's billy graham day on monday and the bank's closed

lhs
haha

dan
what's his plan after he gets the $3,000?

besoin
blackcoin

dan
is he just going to hold Belafonte hostage for the next 40 years so he doesn't tell the police?

ratbag
i hope the rest of this movie is them eating burgers

sideshowraheem
this is a universe where white people only eat outside

lhs
at least until he can put the kid through college

importantdentist
what the

besoin
quentin ghost wrote this scene clearly

Trebbers
thats

Trebbers
a lot of salt

dan
really obliterates the taste of the ketchup

Trebbers
too much mouth noise

besoin
harry has nairobi syndrome

lhs
hoping for at least 10 minutes of travolta squeaking his straw up and down

sideshowraheem
ahaha besoin

ratbag
its like they put a mic inside his mouth

besoin
very powerful foley union

dan
hair regaining a ton of redness all of a sudden

besoin
it's the catsup

dan
maybe it's guilt that dictates it

ratbag
do you think they actually kidnapped belafonte to get him to do this movie

Trebbers
haahhah

dan
suck it

besoin
i mean, you just told him you were going to execute him

Trebbers
What did he think would happen

ratbag
everything is a junkyard or an outdoor burger place

dan
Give Belafonte a break, he just want to go home

ratbag
lol

ratbag
dead

besoin
do you think doug flutie killed his wife in this universe

Trebbers
ahaa

dan
lol besoin

sideshowraheem
ahaha

dan
have there been asian or latinx people at all?

shalabi
i don't think so

ratbag
nope

shalabi
that would be too complicated

besoin
desmond isn't a wizard

ratbag
desmond is japanese tho

ratbag
apparently

besoin
call 911, goofball

importantdentist
pfff

besoin
shouldn't they want to help him?

ratbag
this is weird

Ampersand
all those trophies for nothing

ratbag
the movie just went back to real world

Trebbers
"I've been kidnapped, help me"

Trebbers
Might have tried that

dan
at the end of the day everyone hates and distrusts everyone, that's whats important

Ampersand
Travolta is waking up from his nightmare

besoin
yikes

ratbag
i dont know what to think anymore

besoin
as long as we all wake up a little more understanding and a little bit kinder

dan
I feel like Belafonte could have called any person he knew and gotten 3 grand in about an hour

importantdentist
of course

besoin
the a-word

sideshowraheem
they're gonna find Travolta's buddy ddead from a weed and white win overdose

sideshowraheem
wine

ratbag
AND NO MORE HAMBURGERS

besoin
that wouldn't actually work, would it?

lhs
hit him with a bottle of amelia bedelia syrup

importantdentist
uncle brayden instant rice

ratbag
kentucky roast chicken

importantdentist
*minnesota

ratbag
lol

sideshowraheem
oh Chekov's heart attack

ratbag
worst cpr

dan
oh god

shalabi
this...is C P R

importantdentist
god

ratbag
i hope belafonte sued everyone who was there filming this scene

lhs
poor resusciharry

dan
I thought Belafonte was just gonna be sitting in a fancy house smoking cigars this whole movie

besoin
looks like this is your day-o, thad

ratbag
this is gonna end well

dan
couldnt' he just call the police station to report a bunch of shooting rather than actually doing it

ratbag
the plot of this movie is weird as fuck

sideshowraheem
yeah it's really poorly constructed

importantdentist
i think they'll know to get him to the hospital

dan
neither family has been on screen for like 40 minutes

lhs
i want to learn more about the son with fjord fever

importantdentist
is that what happens after you have a heart attack? you just cough a lot?

shalabi
at least it has a happy ending

besoin
yes

besoin
stop resisting!

importantdentist
i realize what i'm saying here but why would you still be holding the gun

ratbag
that was the first time either man had acted

ratbag
the entire film

besoin
yes, play me out with orchestral music and a crane shot

importantdentist
gimme dat epilogue where harry sends exactly $3,000, minus cost of one action figure, to the family

besoin
heh

besoin
he can't just give them $3000. he has to do it in some condescending way.

besoin
"here are $3000 worth of coupons good for chocolate and milk"

lhs
it's a $3000 gift card to the candy store

dan
"its the rest of the nougat he delivered to me, I want you to have it"

Trebbers
"This will buy a lot of burgers"

ratbag
and salt

ratbag
and ketchup

dan
its time we start to have a real conversation about white reparations

shalabi
were white people taken from europe by african imperialists?]

Trebbers
Harry Belafonte owes me for this at least

importantdentist
so many questions remain

besoin
mostly from bourdeaux

shalabi
this is the 90s Bright

sideshowraheem
their Ta-Nehesi Coates is a dude named like John Frederick Jacketes

ratbag
one of the weirdest movies ive ever seen

Trebbers
perfect song to end it on

shalabi
certainly was a movie

besoin
Hot Dog Vendor

sideshowraheem
the movie had good intentions(I think?) but was just insanely fucking bizarre

Ampersand
this one's pretty normal by our standards, i think

dan
big missed opportunity to not have Travolta singing this

besoin
who says it isn't him

lhs
the fire next time by stephen baldwin

Ampersand
lol

dan
ZANE

importantdentist
i think the final question is would this be good at all outside of the gimmick

importantdentist
and i think the answer is no

Trebbers
Production Accountant: ZANE

besoin
tattoo artist?

besoin
deleted scene?

dan
Matther "Talon McKenna

besoin
TIM McGROARTY

Trebbers
Dialogue Coach?

importantdentist
noooooo

dan
Terry Trebilcock

sideshowraheem
I want to see The People Vs. Doug Flutie now from this universe

dan
boy, ZANE put in some work on this movie

sideshowraheem
ahahaha

besoin
"i'm not white. i'm the flute."

dan
top of the list

sideshowraheem
Tarantino special thanks

Trebbers
How do they prevent everyone from adding a name in quotes to their credit

sideshowraheem
Karen Hamburger-Lieberman

dan
thats the inventor of the hamburger

besoin
there was a hootie song?

besoin
were the black people listening to it, or the white people?
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Postby Ampersand » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:06 pm

This Sunday, 2200 EST
Oscar Puke series commence
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:29 pm

TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
Check the board db or PM me for the movie!
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Postby loaf angel » Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:56 pm

ha wtf is this
goldsoundz wrote:i'd bang that moron
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:57 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
Check the board db or PM me for the movie!
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:48 pm

Ampersand wrote:
Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT @ 2200 EST!
Check the board db or PM me for the movie!
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Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:16 pm

~1.5 hours until showtime!
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Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:41 pm

TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - Detachment
Image
https://tinychat.com/room/hpnmovieseries

password: hipinion
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:56 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT'S FEATURE PRESENTATION - Detachment
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Ampersand
 
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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:49 am

Code: Select all
Ampersand
3

Ampersand
2

Ampersand
1

besoin
so far so good

sideshowraheem
timecheck?

besoin
oops

jpeen
WOAH that's a lotta brody

besoin
30 secs

importantdentist
0030

Bob511
Oh, OK, show's over.

Bob511
Night, everyone.

importantdentist
oh ok

besoin
well this is a hell of a conceit

importantdentist
this guy reads

Trebbers
ahaha

donnamartin
the most merciful shitflix

dan
gimme 2:00 please

importantdentist
just put it in a line of dialogue, have someone quote it to somebody jesus

Bob511
Wait, Henry's the one supposed to be leaving the tapes.

Trebbers
Ha

donnamartin
oh boy

besoin
2:00

Trebbers
2

Animefilm
what did i sign up for

dan
thank you!

importantdentist
two "and"s??

Trebbers
A 'with' and two 'ands'

besoin
i'm lost

Animefilm
This is ripe for sampling for a Books album

besoin
didn't the newton brothers rob banks

besoin
wait, that's the newton boys

donnamartin
according to skeet, yes

donnamartin
i will need adrian to speak a little faster

Ampersand
The Newton Brothers, Isaac and Fig

lhs
heh

Trebbers
I'm trying to think, has Jared Leto and Adrian Brody been in a film together

besoin
lund is hindi for penis

besoin
just sayin', carl

lhs
poor carl

donnamartin
fuck this is some jj reddick poetry

Trebbers
Writing his raps for the session tomorrow

Animefilm
Brody id contractually obliged to wear the same wifebeater for every film

Animefilm
is

besoin
it's like paterson if paterson was fucking horrible

donnamartin
brody's been watching 8 mile

dan
He's preparing for his mixed metaphor class tomorrow

besoin
boy, what a tough gig

besoin
this editing

Trebbers
Uncomfortable closeups

dan
the glasses taking off cut, gotta remember that one

Ampersand
ah this is one of them high school noirs

dan
Curb Stomp your dog

Trebbers
Yeah, curb your fucking dog

sideshowraheem
the cut throat world of school board

besoin
the setting doesn't match the plot

besoin
it's the most immaculately maintained campus

Bob511
Stand and Deliver 101

Animefilm
I AM STARTING THE DVD

jpeen
need to take a few lenses away from this cinemetog methinks

Ampersand
extremely me when hosting shitflixe

Trebbers
Shitflix 101

besoin
we watched stand and deliver in calculus class in high school

sideshowraheem
ahaha amp

dan
lol amp

dan
is there even a remote possibility she ever needs any of those books

Trebbers
Brody has to be no.1 on the sub callsheet

lhs
that's not a desk, she just turned the cafeteria counter in her office

besoin
the encylopedia?

lhs
into*

donnamartin
what is this accent?

Trebbers
Mr. Barf, ya burnt

Ampersand
Hurl V. Barf

Trebbers
waoh

Animefilm
Brody had eyebrow surgery to always have them elevated for peak expression

donnamartin
Woah, some dangerous minds in this place

besoin
no one has ever tried this

Animefilm
This is like a caricature of florida highschool

sideshowraheem
Jim Belushi the teacher would have kicked this kid's ass

importantdentist
that was a good high school noir

donnamartin
no one said this was a bullshit documentary

besoin
i don't accept the premise of this movie

importantdentist
i'm so sick of whatever this framing device is already

Trebbers
Trying to justify to his lawyer why he shot up the place

donnamartin
i wish adrian was rodney dangerfield

dan
You gotta take out the biggest guy in the school your first day, it's the only way you'll survive in there

besoin
he's so wise

donnamartin
guys i might throw myself off a bridge

Trebbers
He was a sub in Guantanamo Bay, seen all this shit

jpeen
I'm lovin this tbh

Animefilm
We gonna see a lot of nostril closeups in this

Trebbers
AP Mike

Bob511
Whoa, Will

sideshowraheem
aha Treb I was about to say the same thing

lhs
this movie is the racist bitch, ma'am

Trebbers
The Racist Bitch was in our hearts

besoin
this is conservative drivel

dan
tough to come up with a good reaction to that situation, but I'm not sure duckface is the way to go

Trebbers
ahhah

besoin
haha

Animefilm
He just made a trump lip pucker

lhs
what on earth

dan
Mr. Wilkins caught fucking the fence again

Trebbers
Candid between takes shots of Tim BLake Nelson

donnamartin
fuck you brody

jpeen
sorry hunny but that shot is quite impossible with that lense

besoin
he thinks he's still on the set of the thin red line

donnamartin
who told brody to channel batman

besoin
that was caviezel, brody, not you

lhs
he's gonna start an after school fight club in his classroom

Animefilm
Hes a JD salinger character now

Trebbers
ACME brand hovel

donnamartin
jesus, for real

Trebbers
this voice

dan
no keys at this hospital?

Ampersand
i thought he was my mom too

besoin
salman pleasedie

Trebbers
ah

lhs
who had that exposition flashback

Bob511
They could at least find this guy a part-time gig down in the morgue.

Bob511
Just for the atmosphere.

dan
its a bunch of drawings of the Metallica logo

donnamartin
wow, this movie is .... wow

besoin
did this premiere at cpac

Trebbers
What

dan
fieYURRD

Ampersand
i thought his whole thing was being chill

lhs
she's gonna spit in his grandpa if he keeps it up

besoin
she kind of looks like polanski

Trebbers
Poor lady just came on her shift

dan
taking out the root of the problem, well done

Ampersand
she's two weeks from retirement, too

besoin
the faux 16mm means there's a flashback there

Trebbers
what

dan
oh lord

Trebbers
This movie has got it all

donnamartin
man, i can just imagine the director talking about the edgy style of filmmaking they'd do

Animefilm
I think the director watched some sadfie bros

sideshowraheem
this is a clusterfuck

lhs
oh i thought those were his legs

Trebbers
Naaaaaaaaaow

Ampersand
wonderful

Bob511
No, a clusterfuck is extra.

sideshowraheem
lol bob

Trebbers
*Brody reaches for wallet*

Animefilm
She looks hip

besoin
is she channeling lois from family guy

besoin
pete-uhh

dan
and old=bad

Ampersand
lol

Ampersand
the aggressive sales pitch

donnamartin
wow

donnamartin
this movie is .....

Trebbers
What a fucking nightmare world

lhs
not on substitute teacher pay, lady

importantdentist
she's gonna be a student right

Ampersand
no that was his mother

Ampersand
it was a flashback

donnamartin
man, The Substitute is a different movie than i remember

Animefilm
my boys all gets faded

jpeen
so he lost his fulltime teaching job because he was too affected by bus people

sideshowraheem
oh good he's going to make fun of the black guy's english

Ampersand
and fuck

dan
and fuck wasn't on the paper, it was brody realizing what he had signed up for

besoin
all his students are like 26

Trebbers
I gotta assume all these slumming actors all have massive castle debt

besoin
you were in the godfather, for god's sake

Ampersand
lol dan

Animefilm
He possesses the bad parts of the 70s

besoin
there's no legal system in this universe

donnamartin
i wish gary busey was in this

dan
oh no

Trebbers
what in

importantdentist
god damn it

sideshowraheem
he's inventing hamilton

dan
lmao

besoin
haha

Trebbers
Just riff Jimmy

Ampersand
lolol

jpeen
this is some bad leutienant territory here

Ampersand
omg

besoin
gif

Trebbers
what the fuckign

Animefilm
He sounds like hes talking with marshmallows in his mouth

jpeen
ahahaa

donnamartin
i dunno, i'm on helen's side

lhs
this is a sweatshirt infected with gonorrhea

Ampersand
it's an I'm with Stupid t-shirt

besoin
this movie wasn't made by healthy people

Trebbers
Send a copy of the script to the Smithsonian

Ampersand
that's true. they all have gonorrhea

dan
"All these young women nowadays, what is it with them having sex and stuff?!" - the director

donnamartin
how many people are locking themsleves in the bathroom

besoin
it's like some people in a mental ward colluded to get SAG insurance

Trebbers
ahah

donnamartin
oh okay

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

Trebbers
what the hell

Animefilm
He has flashback sequence disease

dan
how oftne are you this

Ampersand
Johnny Cash voice: I pissed myself today

besoin
CRTs

besoin
how far is he flashing back

donnamartin
wow this movie just feels we need to see everything huh

donnamartin
i feel like in the movie production, the words "make it feel raw" were used

dan
wanna place a bet on some feces shots, donna?

Trebbers
Why DID James Cann have a 8x10 glossy picture of a vagina?

donnamartin
i will actually throw myself off a bridge if that happens dan

jpeen
he clearly does that bit 3-5 times a week treb

jpeen
I hope we get to see the rest of his flashcards

Ampersand
tbf, aren't these all feces shots?

donnamartin
lol

Animefilm
TIL james caan is still making movies

donnamartin
i have so many questions for adrian

besoin
the time warp

sideshowraheem
this prostitute is actually his conscience

Ampersand
i hope they never change clothes, personally

lhs
oh no

Trebbers
Nope

besoin
nice shot

Bob511
LOOKOUT!

donnamartin
seems like a poor choice

sideshowraheem
I have a feeling we might be seeing some more gonorrea coming up

Trebbers
Is this going to have a dead prostitute angle

donnamartin
yes, wash the syphyllis off your hands

Ampersand
shows her a fridge stocked entirely with only mayonnaise

donnamartin
is this going to be Better Off Dead

jpeen
sooo he's the kind of guy who keeps his soap somewhere other than at the sink, huh

Bob511
That is one hell of a child porn angle on that lamp.

Trebbers
One hotel sized soap for the entire house

sideshowraheem
"yeah apple juice"

Ampersand
"eat your bread sandwich"

besoin
what the hell

Trebbers
The framing of this shot

sideshowraheem
I don't like this at all

donnamartin
um

Bob511
This movie is a little much.

besoin
should we call someone

Trebbers
Are we going to jail

dan
"just making small talk"

Ampersand
going, going, gonorrhea

lhs
put a bandaid on your rape

jpeen
but sorry, no juice for rapees

Animefilm
I stepped out. Did i miss anything important about her

besoin
should have stayed gone

Trebbers
"Ok, 35"

donnamartin
well, i think we're all going to jail

besoin
she can't wash herself

lhs
you missed the worst scene yet, anime

dan
Caan talking about the arm fucking?

Trebbers
Real subtle angle here

donnamartin
can't she do this for herself?

dan
actually we're 30 mins in and there are like 12 candidates for worst scene

donnamartin
she can't clean her own leg wounds?

Trebbers
Might as well be washing her feet

Animefilm
Hes paying to wash

jpeen
bactine treatment is only 15, he is on a sub teacher's salary after all

dan
its 11:30, you might want to get to school Adrian

Trebbers
Stop moving the camera, Jesus

Bob511
He's going to lock her in the bathroom while he's at work.

jpeen
I guess this guy uses up all his great decisions in the classroom

Trebbers
I guess one good thing about having no apparent possessions is you can leave people in your apt

besoin
this is seriously some cpac shit

Trebbers
Bane has just released all the kids from the school asylum

dan
Jerky Boys strike again!

Ampersand
"he's always mad all the time because he doesn't have a dell"

Animefilm
honestly surprised this film has some drawn animation

Trebbers
OH no

jpeen
not seeing the conservative angle at all really

donnamartin
i want to murder the camera person

besoin
no

sideshowraheem
this girls suicide attempt is going to be really graphic and gross

importantdentist
ah come on

sideshowraheem
oh noooooooo

donnamartin
oh no no no no no no no nono

besoin
delete movie

lhs
muting and not looking

donnamartin
what hte fuck is wrong wit this schoo

Trebbers
"Those books are school property!"

donnamartin
no htat kid is a serial killer

sideshowraheem
jesus christ

Bob511
Brody, you're not supposed to look.

Ampersand
hurting seems...

besoin
since these schools don't actually exist, you have to wonder what's wrong with the filmmakers

Ampersand
uh insufficient

dan
The Cats and Hammer Kids

Trebbers
ahahhh

Bob511
The cat was fine until you looked.

donnamartin
dan

Trebbers
Ha bob

lhs
haha bob

importantdentist
is that something you tell a parent right in front of their kid

Animefilm
Schroe-dinger!

dan
not like the band

Bob511
Heh

Trebbers
"Put me in a bigger bag and beat me to death, please"

donnamartin
.....

lhs
substitute pimp

donnamartin
um

Trebbers
ahah

Ampersand
lol lhs

Bob511
Sometimes you just kind of fall into a profession.

sideshowraheem
lol lhs

donnamartin
aha lhs

jpeen
oh my god

Trebbers
damn

Animefilm
the evolution of a pimp :(

jpeen
yep he's already accepted thsi situation

dan
"teach me"

besoin
what

Ampersand
you can't blame a scorpion, teacher teacher

dan
she knew him what, 3 hours tops?

dan
shut UP, disembodied dad!

Ampersand
there oughta be a law

Trebbers
Gotta be the director as the dad, or some bullshit

besoin
this is the worst movie i've seen in the series

importantdentist
oh it's that kind of movie

sideshowraheem
that's fuckin' deep bro!

Animefilm
the dad sounded about 20

Bob511
The animals, the animals / Trapped trapped trapped

Trebbers
"MDMA"

lhs
there oughta be a 10 commandments monument in front of every school

Trebbers
"Maybe get a test for other stuff too"

Animefilm
do we know how old is she?

jpeen
well hiv's the only one he doesn't have yet

Trebbers
hadsahdfhdfss

besoin
bathroom panini

importantdentist
panera

Trebbers
GIF

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

donnamartin
this movie is making me hate things more than i do

dan
all the best acting in this so far has been on toilets

sideshowraheem
grossest scene yet

sideshowraheem
who eats in a bathroom

besoin
is that morgan freeman

Animefilm
yes

Trebbers
To make ends meet, they let Panera open a location in the shitter

Bob511
His profession? Stock photo frame model.

importantdentist
weird photo choice

sideshowraheem
extreme close up death photo

Trebbers
This movie has spat on my soul

donnamartin
wanna meet the chalk animator

dan
poor Matt Groening

importantdentist
why are they listening to the secretary's messages

Bob511
"GOALLLL!"

Ampersand
wowza

sideshowraheem
I assume that's hitler?

Trebbers
A HAL9000 loses it shit again

besoin
jesus christ

sideshowraheem
oh thanks for spelling it out

dan
the movie that truly has it all

importantdentist
another film credit for ol hitler

besoin
why should the complaining teacher be compared to hitler?

dan
by George, you've got it!

donnamartin
fuck i hate the sound of chalk

Trebbers
"Ubiquitous assimilation is my attitude towards recreational drugs."

Bob511
"Oscars go to deserving actors."

donnamartin
sincerely -- what are we talking about?

Trebbers
ahahh

sideshowraheem
what the fuck is going on here

importantdentist
what class is this

donnamartin
we've always told men that

sideshowraheem
wait what

lhs
this is what happens when the real teacher doesn't provide lesson plans

donnamartin
this isn't new fuckface

Trebbers
Shit forshadowing

dan
Shit on Dem by the Penis Twins really ruined a generation of young men

Trebbers
ahaaaha

importantdentist
"good luck on this crazy fuckin exam"

donnamartin
guys...i think dangerous minds was less offensive

Ampersand
omg

importantdentist
it actually looks like him

Trebbers
WOW!

Animefilm
he got his lesson plan from subreddit woahdude

donnamartin
aha

besoin
this school seems to have a lot of resources

besoin
shame about these students

importantdentist
CLAY

sideshowraheem
wasn't No Child Left Behind like 10 years before this movie came out?

importantdentist
they were still doing it

donnamartin
i would like to talk to this movie about accents

lhs
"you'll be adding promitus bound by ascipilous to your curriculum"

donnamartin
this movie is blaming schools for the real estate bust?

Trebbers
"The bodies in the vacants aren't helping property values, either, folks"

sideshowraheem
James Caan't buy this

Bob511
Is popcorn usually served alongside crap?

besoin
give him hell, edie, storm the gates

importantdentist
sheeeeeeeit

dan
WHITLOCKE HIM UP!

Trebbers
aha

Animefilm
I dont think thats actually james caan

importantdentist
can they really not hear him

lhs
oh, he must have been a student here

Trebbers
The only winner in the meeting

lhs
with that mouth

besoin
no, please, no romance subplot

donnamartin
besoin, this movie has everthing else

sideshowraheem
Ms. MadMen you're trying to seduce me

donnamartin
why not romance

besoin
aside from the romance with the teenage prostitute

importantdentist
that reminds me, i need more booze

Trebbers
"I stole the identity of a dead teacher"

Ampersand
"ya got an hour and 37 minutes?"

dan
need some wacky sitcom hijincks where he trys to bring Hendricks back to his apartment and the hooker has to hide behind a curtain during the date

donnamartin
stop trying to change me, lady

lhs
and the hooker also has to hide a date behind the curtain

Animefilm
haa

dan
*laugh track*

besoin
what vision of hell is this

Animefilm
this movie hurts

Trebbers
Backdoor pilot for Vice's Odd Couple reboot

sideshowraheem
what the fuck was that cut

Bob511
Ha

Animefilm
heres looking at you kid

sideshowraheem
every shot of Tim Blake Nelson is lol city

besoin
is that all the bryan cranston we get

importantdentist
was that cranston

sideshowraheem
oh yeah I forgot about Cranston

dan
for just $79 you can get Cranston in your movie for 1 second

sideshowraheem
TBN is rocking what I like to call "The McConnell"

jpeen
well here's two people I did not expect to see in this movie

donnamartin
this wallpaper is making me ill

dan
Cranston playing some kind of fictional president or prime minister or something

besoin
looks like a random florist vase to me

Trebbers
ahah

sideshowraheem
he's got a nice cool glass of ketchup

importantdentist
BLACKS RULE

Trebbers
"A+"

sideshowraheem
this is all over the place

dan
checks teachers guide "yep, there it is, I do suck"

sideshowraheem
now we're indie rockin

donnamartin
what is this song

Ampersand
he'll domesticate you yet

Trebbers
Can't believe movie had the restraint not to use "Oh, Yoko" here

sideshowraheem
they spent all their money of 30 seconds of Cranston

Animefilm
Shes a prostitute but shes also beautiful and makes elaborate breakfast

Trebbers
If there is AIDS in movie

importantdentist
there's no way there isn't

dan
*James Caan walks in to snap a shot of her vagina*

Trebbers
ahahaha

Animefilm
this is like a film student trying to make 5 films in one

sideshowraheem
this is definitely on par with Crash and those two Will Smith films

Trebbers
Fast motion!

besoin
why is he always thinking about being like 6

Ampersand
Dollar Experience is a helluva name

Trebbers
Time for a cop to pull up

besoin
why is she wearing soiled fingerless gloves

sideshowraheem
it's a monster energy ring

jpeen
is she hiding the eyeballs in he rpalms or something

Trebbers
ahahahah

Animefilm
shes gonna capture his hidden romance

importantdentist
so who dies in this, do we think

importantdentist
one hour in

Ampersand
starts peeing

besoin
tim blake nelson

donnamartin
hopefully everyone dentist

Trebbers
TBN locks his knees, takes a fence nap

sideshowraheem
the world is annihilated by nuclear fire at 90 minutes

Trebbers
"You don't think that I suck do you?"

besoin
the facilities people in this school deserve an award

dan
he didn't know what to do before when he was on that fence

besoin
what is the context of the most recent adrien brody scenes

dan
as said the poet Fred Durst

Animefilm
i cant put a finger on it, but theres something not good about this movie

Trebbers
bwah

Bob511
Gee, why did they select this school to close?

Trebbers
A CARNIVAL OF PAIN

Ampersand
a dark carnival of pain, perhaps?

sideshowraheem
Lucy is Liusing her mind

Trebbers
dying

jpeen
when the actin so bad you gotta put the lens flare in focus

importantdentist
"(whoa, is she right?)"

besoin
uh oh

besoin
here come the pictures

dan
"that was the 6th kid I did that to today!"

lhs
gonorrhea medicine

Animefilm
topical

Trebbers
"Listen, just take a look at this picture of a vagina, It'll cheer you up"

donnamartin
i just assumed it was liquid cialis

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

dan
how comes the kids never thank us when we call them fuck up sluts who will never amount to anything

Animefilm
lol

Trebbers
"And, he's short the 50 he owes me"

dan
lol

donnamartin
lol

lhs
his futon unfolds into a landline

importantdentist
his mom is dead right

sideshowraheem
absolutely

jpeen
ya

besoin
i assume she killed herself in front of brody

Bob511
No, just too ashamed to be in this movie.

importantdentist
oh yep

besoin
there it is

importantdentist
there it is

donnamartin
lol

lhs
yeah she QCed him up good

dan
aoisbhfoiashfa

Trebbers
oh no A

sideshowraheem
what the fuck

besoin
oh god

Animefilm
oh

Ampersand
pa pa

sideshowraheem
oh noooooooooooooo

Trebbers
Nightmare

sideshowraheem
noooooooo

donnamartin
guys

besoin
this is madness

donnamartin
this is not happeneing, right?

dan
is the dad hypnotizing him?

donnamartin
i'm just very drunk or something?

Animefilm
His dad sounds like bane

dan
aha

Ampersand
lol tru

sideshowraheem
I'm only moderately drunk and it's definitely happening

importantdentist
show the girl real quick

besoin
yes, please show the girl

Trebbers
YouTube Search: Adrian Brody AMSR video 10 hour loop

lhs
whose fetish is this anyway

donnamartin
so dad abused his mom, she killed himself, now he's effed and letting this guy die in peace

donnamartin
got it

besoin
this is more scandalous than that movie 23 thing, right?

Animefilm
bwah

importantdentist
it's trying to be a lot more than number 23 so on balance yes

besoin
very necessary

donnamartin
jesus

dan
just doing one of those naked pills sessions

importantdentist
uh yeah you think

dan
all of this is just setup to try and get a sympathy discount from her on a bj

Trebbers
A Clippy but for movies that asks the director "Are you sure you want to show a dead naked woman here?"

Bob511
"She'd lock grandpa in the bathroom every night."

donnamartin
wait is he the product of incest?

besoin
seems possible

importantdentist
that would explain the movie

besoin
would also explain his fuckin' mug

besoin
heyoooooo

dan
wow property values really are shit around here

dan
titular line!

besoin
i had the titular line in detached

Bob511
She's going to blackmail him with pictures of him appearing in this movie.

dan
so sick of all this detachment

Trebbers
"Could you critique my vagina photos, before I turn them in to James Cann"

importantdentist
ah ok

Animefilm
she looks like she ate the breakfast club (im sorry)

besoin
boo

Ampersand
hiss

importantdentist
no she really does look like halfway between molly ringwald and ally sheedy

Ampersand
that's true

dan
2010's book reboot idea: My Teacher is a Slenderman

Animefilm
^^ this what i mean

Trebbers
ahah dan

donnamartin
this movie makes me want to not talk to anyone

donnamartin
ever

sideshowraheem
the last scene is him handing a piece of paper that says "you are Meredith"

besoin
just go to college and forget all of this

donnamartin
you'll just be a depressed sad sack like me

Animefilm
aw :(

donnamartin
what is going on?

Ampersand
i can't even get my students to come to my office hours

besoin
it didn't look untoward at all

Trebbers
Wait what

Animefilm
what

Ampersand
hmm. looks like a pervert's brain to me

dan
maybe just tell her what was happening before you start yelling?

importantdentist
this is probably not the way to play this

Trebbers
This fucking twisted

Bob511
The underage prostitute back at his apartment doesn't really disprove the pervert thing.

dan
nailed it!

Animefilm
lol

donnamartin
everyone handled that well

Animefilm
What was she supposed to think?

Ampersand
this is bullshit. he saw her touching that student's protractor

dan
boy, Wayside School has it even worse

importantdentist
haha

Bob511
"Uh...you gonna keep those slippers?"

besoin
how sad, so little of the sexual abuser is left

Trebbers
"Been looking for the body in that box for an hour"

lhs
he's the missing link between jaime escalante and rust cohle

dan
guys I never realized it before this movie but things are FUCKED UP man

Bob511
That poor pan.

besoin
thanks obama

donnamartin
maybe this guy should get this girl to child services

sideshowraheem
this monologue that keeps coming in and out is going to turn out to be him in a police interrogation room on a child sex trafficking charge

Animefilm
Once you read 1984, things end up like this

jpeen
my stay at home prostitute needs me

donnamartin
this is veering into teenage relationship convo

besoin
here it comes

donnamartin
uhhhh

besoin
i guess he must have called them

Trebbers
The AIDS police are here

donnamartin
oh boy

Ampersand
he throws desks so gently

Animefilm
Oh no

donnamartin
what on earth is this movie about

Bob511
They're here to place her with a foster hit man.

besoin
obama's america

lhs
ruining millennials

Animefilm
A foster brody

besoin
kid removal services

Trebbers
Dude lost his job and needs a roommate

besoin
phew, time to board

Ampersand
lol

donnamartin
don't sniff that glove

jpeen
smell the glove

donnamartin
lol

Trebbers
bwah

Animefilm
lol

Animefilm
That shot redeems a bit

sideshowraheem
there has been very little actual movie of him teaching

Bob511
Plenty of lecturing, though.

Ampersand
he's teaching us

besoin
was this funded by goop

Trebbers
Makes you think

besoin
was it different last year?

Animefilm
id like this to be a breakfast club for teachers

donnamartin
i do not feel like this is accurate

sideshowraheem
what the fuck is she talking about

dan
ever since divorce started 15 years ago

besoin
so the bad guys in this movie are the students, the parents, and no child left behind

Ampersand
the good Brody is tapped in the black lodge

Bob511
No parents showing up for Parent-Teacher Night seems like a high school teacher's dream.

Trebbers
Feels like this movie was extrapolated from an email forward about a failed parents night

Trebbers
Oh no a kill list

besoin
the collage that changed everything

besoin
who is making cupcakes

dan
she's bout to give brody a ricin mouffin

Trebbers
Dyke_bitch.aiff

Animefilm
shoots on a digital camera, printed on film

dan
muffin

importantdentist
this is gonnabe something

Trebbers
ahaha

Ampersand
she's audience surrogate in this moment

sideshowraheem
we haven't seen him do anything!

Ampersand
i barfs with you

Trebbers
haah

Animefilm
suspiciously after found hugging a student

donnamartin
um

besoin
my god

Trebbers
haha what

importantdentist
oh ok

dan
he never actually taught a single thing in the entire movie

jpeen
ahahaha wut

lhs
that's how they always do the announcements

Bob511
The final days of Rev. Jim Jones High.

dan
lol

donnamartin
is she staging a suicide

importantdentist
who's watching the kids

Bob511
"But first, why don't we all enjoy our cupcake."

Trebbers
This movie thought it was important enough to have a scene of TBN's homelife

Ampersand
no one thinks about My Struggle

Trebbers
"The one frowning cup cake....is me"

besoin
if she's poisoning everyone, it might be something

dan
MeriDETH?

Animefilm
what, she baked the photo dust into the cakes

importantdentist
"uh meredith, that's not what ironic means"

dan
hah

Trebbers
Oh shit

donnamartin
it's laced

besoin
why wouldn't people take cupcakes from her

besoin
what is she actually doing out there

Animefilm
jeez

Trebbers
*ominous cut to cup cake*

dan
turn that frown upside down is what I'm trying to say

jpeen
he apparently is unconcerned

Trebbers
Like where is a vice principal to take this shit down

donnamartin
oh god

dan
goodbye sweet world

importantdentist
oh man

Trebbers
Thought it would have been a laced panini, but ok

Animefilm
if that cupcake dont have some important im gonna be pissed

jpeen
oh no I was supposed to eat the *charcoal* one

Ampersand
13 Cupcakes Why

Trebbers
ah

Bob511
Ha

Animefilm
Oh no :/

sideshowraheem
oh my goddddddd

Trebbers
Chris Farley esque drop

dan
really ambitious senior project

donnamartin
jesus this movie

besoin
she must have had access to some serious shit

jpeen
ahah jesus dan

Trebbers
"She fell on this raspberry doughnut!"

sideshowraheem
stop touching her!

Ampersand
pats forehead

donnamartin
nothing about henry suggested it was going to be okay

jpeen
haah I thought he was whispering "happy cupcake...happy cupcake..."

Trebbers
haha

besoin
was that paramedic putting in earbuds

jpeen
or falling on cupcakes

Animefilm
*ahem* Your sitting on her

Animefilm
youre*

besoin
i guess they cut the mouth to mouth scene

dan
we need all teachers to have poison cupcakes so this never happens again

Trebbers
"Well, she was a terrible student, so this will raise our test average"

besoin
seriously, look at the landscaping at this school

besoin
"i'm turning you in"

Ampersand
self-actualization

dan
"its just my favorite kind of flatbread is all"

donnamartin
i'm a Hollow Man

importantdentist
HOLLOW MAN

lhs
heh dan

Animefilm
I realized i only like the icing on top of the cake

Trebbers
*swan dies of heart attack, credits roll*

donnamartin
so the message is we all suck and should probably die

dan
don't lump me in with your shit pal

donnamartin
i've been saying this for years, give me the oscar

sideshowraheem
"you have AIDS" *Credits roll *

Ampersand
"i've got great news"

besoin
how'd she get her gloves back

importantdentist
oh yeah obv

Animefilm
Why would she be happy to see him

Bob511
Just the one glove; he has the other.

Bob511
Which is why she's so excited.

besoin
poetry

donnamartin
that's how she knows it's him

besoin
serendipity

sideshowraheem
cut to a bunch of horrified students

dan
Good Will Barfing

Ampersand
i think he's off the lesson plan

besoin
yeah, poe, very inspirational

donnamartin
it went well for him i hear

Trebbers
"You are supposed to be teaching trig, you asshole"

dan
lol

Animefilm
this is brody's dark period

dan
janitor is gonna catch some real shit for leaving the front doors open

Animefilm
chernobyl high

Trebbers
Insufferable gloom

importantdentist
bold of them to use the word "insufferable" in the script of this movie

importantdentist
oh come on

donnamartin
i think the director thinks there's a metaphor here

Trebbers
Barf

donnamartin
deep shit

sideshowraheem
that was like 10 half formed ideas slammed together

importantdentist
that was really something

dan
detach meant what?

donnamartin
lol

besoin
shame

donnamartin
fuck marco

besoin
a pox on your production house

donnamartin
FUCK YOU REBECCA

donnamartin
was this funded by the koch brothers?

dan
post credits scene where the hooker girl gives Brody a bill for 600 hours of her company

Animefilm
an unnamed director

besoin
the suicide was the director's daughter?

dan
this is from the American History X dude

Bob511
"In March 2012, cast member Bryan Cranston was asked about Detachment during an interview. The reporter told Cranston that he loved the movie and then started to ask his question. "Wait," Cranston said, "did you like 'Detachment'?""
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:50 pm

This Thursday,
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Wed Feb 28, 2018 4:34 pm

Ampersand wrote:This Thursday,
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Mar 01, 2018 2:44 pm

TONIGHT!
Check the HPN db for the movie!
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Mar 01, 2018 5:13 pm

Ampersand wrote:TONIGHT!
Check the HPN db for the movie!
User avatar
Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

Postby Ampersand » Thu Mar 01, 2018 9:24 pm

1.5 hours until showtime!
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Ampersand
 
Posts: 10369
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:30 pm

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