HPN WEREWOLF (VILLAGERS TRIUMPHANT!)

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby bunejug » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:03 pm

your kind never belonged in this town, good riddance.
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:04 pm



I have this feeling that iambic is innocent, but I've done what I could.

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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:05 pm

Alright, it's pretty obvious what the final vote's gonna be, so I'll just go ahead with it.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:06 pm

the villagers, determined at last to root out the suspected fiend iambic and hang him from the gibbet until dead, follow him to Guy Incognito's mansion, where last he was seen headed.

when they break down the ornate door to the estate, a grisly scene awaits them. Guy Incognito is there with his whole dick gone, just completely torn off. to explain: the werewolf iambic, in his full lyncanthrophic glory, has already half-murdered the idiot Guy and slashed away the man's shit penis as a trophy. the wolf holds the remainder of the miserable thing aloft like a busted hacky-sack; blood and ichor coat his fur and claws. what with the entire dick being taken clean off, Guy is now an emasculated little bitch, sorry to say.

a single shot from Cone's pistol--loaded earlier with a silver bullet from fox's forge--puts an end to the proud wolf's reign once and for all. the beast slumps to the marble floor, thrashing about in the spreading pool of Guy's blood and piss (the idiot's dick is leaking piss because of how it got cut entirely off by a resplendent iambic, remember).

as Guy screams and screams like a petty bitch, the villagers, indifferent to his wailing, warily approach the dying werewolf. iambic is still breathing--breathing his last--and struggling to speak.

Legion, the town's gravedigger and its bravest and truest soul, leans in to listen.

"you fools," hacks the wolf in the villager's misshapen, ringworm-y ear. "you have slain the one creature that could have saved you."

he takes another shuddering gasp of air, demonstrably braver in the face of impending death than Guy Incognito could ever hope to be, for example.

"he comes," whispers iambic. "he is coming. he is pedaling closer."

"who?" asks fox, kneeling beside Legion now as blood bubbles at the corners of iambic's maw. "who is coming??"

"you already know," croaks the wolf.

"baaadhaaaaa--"

he dies.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:07 pm

As the last werewolf, I let iambic write his reveal.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:07 pm



I have a feeling I'm gullible!

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Postby Science » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:07 pm

I knew it!
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:08 pm

Sorry about your dick, man.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Cronos » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:08 pm

Finally I can rest in piss.
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:10 pm

Guy Incognito wrote:will you guys at least build a giant penis statue in the middle of town in honor of my glorious sacrifice?



We'll say all the good things.

Last edited by Legion on Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Cronos » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:10 pm

I wanted to kill iambic on the day he voted to kill me.
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Postby Science » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:16 pm

You know what's funny, when he cast the final vote to kill me, he did not run that decision by me at all.

It was quite the shock.
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Postby Luke » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:19 pm

I'll do another one of these in about a month or two with a bunch more roles, so if you were watching this, hoping to get in on some Stuntman murdering, worry no more.
Catullus wrote:I'm not the arbitrator of nudes I just pointed out what made me sad inside.
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Postby Cone » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:19 pm

Thanks for letting me shoot you dead, iambic
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Postby bunejug » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:21 pm

this was good fun, though I'm worried about who will record this bizarre incident with our village historian dead. I'm afraid stories of iambic and Mr. Science's atrocities will die with us.
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Postby fuckles » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:23 pm

can we just, yknow, continue killing villagers? for funsies? kill all of them?
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby Cone » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:24 pm

Damn the tavern is gonna be poppin off tonight. Get there early, fellas.
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Postby someguy » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:30 pm

I hope you have room for this piss salesman next time!
apologies
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Postby Legion » Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:34 pm



With this much competition, hopefully we'll see some beverage innovation soon in our humble hamlet.

You got that 4Pissko?

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Postby Ampersand » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:18 pm

Oh my god, I told you all iambic was a wolf. (after I told you junebug was a wolf) But I was pretty adamant!
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:21 pm

Mr. Science wrote:You know what's funny, when he cast the final vote to kill me, he did not run that decision by me at all.

It was quite the shock.

you wrote your own suicide note when you wouldn't let me kill junebug that night

I would have spared you if I could
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Postby Science » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:17 pm

Yes, it was the right move on your part. My own folly for not going through with the junebug murder.
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Postby iambic » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:36 pm

oh who could predict what wacky decisions these people would have made under different circumstances

it was fun while it lasted
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Postby fox » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:46 pm

This was a blaste.

I was certaine it was iambic but his Zeale threw me off.

Top shelf Performance, Irish-man. I shall nevere trust you againe.
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Postby fox » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:47 pm

Also it is BOGO weeke at the Smitherie.
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Postby alaska » Sat Mar 07, 2020 2:33 pm

WHanr woulef
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