Werewolf 27: BREXIT (Boris Johnson wins)

There are worse ways to spend the time, but not many.

Postby Casimir » Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:27 pm

Who is this Ed balls chap? I'm going to tuck in for a bacon butty or three but please do tell when parliament is back in session.
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Postby VHB » Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:35 pm

Casimir wrote:Who is this Ed balls chap? I'm going to tuck in for a bacon butty or three but please do tell when parliament is back in session.



What-What?

Every lad knows Edmund Alastair Balls!

He's the crown-appointed MP for the borough of Rumpole On-The-Bailey until the next bi-election!

The House Of Commons simply cannot be back in session until his absence is ended!

How can you not know who Ed Balls is, you simpering git?

By Ed's Balls, who elected this Ruffian?

He must be a Tory!
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 01, 2016 1:53 pm

'Urry up and end this barmy night.

When ye shovel me soiled remains into the bog, do it with a gentle touch.
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Postby fuckles » Thu Sep 01, 2016 2:24 pm

hello i'm mr. bean, a popular character from british television. greetings.
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby fox » Thu Sep 01, 2016 5:52 pm

hello I am just a regular chap with a few questions. am I getting a role, or is this game going to be as well-run as the actual brexit?
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Postby VHB » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:05 pm

fox wrote:hello I am just a regular chap with a few questions. am I getting a role, or is this game going to be as well-run as the actual brexit?


Savage, good sir! Simply savage!

Benjamin DISSraeli salutes his colleague on a parliamentary diss well given. He thinks nothing of it, as there is bugger all else to do while waiting for the arrival of the esteemed Ed Balls, esq. to arrive in Parliament so a new session can begin. Besides, DISSraeli is a still a bit too knackered for anything beyond a simple salute at the moment, as he continues to recover from the jet-lag experienced from traveling some 140 years through time to serve in the Parliament of the future. Also, having lived before the invention of flight, let alone jets, it is rather difficult for him to adequately describe the jet-lag phenomenon in terminology familiar to him.

Describing the less-esteemed members of modern government and their apparent lack of acumen comes more naturally. He remarks that one MP's head is "as empty as a eunuch’s underpants" and, satisfied with his remarks, he returns to his seat.
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby separator » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:07 pm

ello mates
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Postby can't » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:18 pm

ed balls sweetie
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Postby bigcat » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:49 pm

The Westminster clock strikes seven as the sun rises over the Thames. Day has broken--another cloudy one, looks like.

The parliament guards smile drowsily. A peaceful General Election night.

NOBODY died.

It is DAY.

Suddenly a newsboy runs up with a copy of The Sun. "Have you heard, misters?" he asks. "They've just heard about a new part of the Unwritten Constitution! There's to be a lynching in the House of Lords today!"




The vote is open. It will close 11 PM EST.
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Postby VHB » Thu Sep 01, 2016 7:14 pm

Ampersand
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby fox » Thu Sep 01, 2016 7:20 pm

hey I'm not on the hpnww slack find me in hipinion slack DMs or or PMs here

--angus p. bartleby
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Postby milano boy » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:24 pm

Image
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Postby Jarl Skeletal » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:27 pm

Mah nam is Iggy. aam frae scotlund an' Ah dinnae hink brexit is a hoora good idea. Leave the EU? Fuckin pure dead brilliant, sassenach wankers
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:29 pm

VHB wrote:Ampersand


A wise guvnah.

Ampersand
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Postby milano boy » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:35 pm

Image
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Postby john plainman » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:08 pm

For England, James.

Ampersand

No. For me.

Image
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Postby Casimir » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:17 pm

Is amp slacking with everyone assuring them he is the tanner or something? If that's the case, I do believe it would be my honour as Her Majesty's subject to nominate him for his prescribed fate.

I can't believe that tosser who thinks he is time traveling is still serving in the House of Lords. The royals love to flaunt their idiocy!
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Postby VHB » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:23 pm

Benjamin DISSraeli addresses the House of Commowns.

I fear, sirs and madams, that, were any of you to have an original thought enter any of your heads, it would quickly die of loneliness. While Ampersand may have the charisma of a damp rag, and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk, such status is in fact quite insufficient grounds for expulsion from Parliament. Were it so, I surmise a not-insignificant portion of you lot would not yourselves be here.

Ampersand is merely first on the roll call. I picked him for this reason and no other. I was, as the colloquialism goes, Taking The Piss.

And you're all following that dodgy of a lead?

For Shame! For Shame!


Ampersand
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby john plainman » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:43 pm

Tony Blair, please use your power tonight so we can identify the missing parties. Cheers!
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Postby mudd » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:48 pm

after spending 45 minutes getting his hair artfully messed, and another 45 screaming in a sound-proofed closet

is amp that tosser nigel fridge? does he think he belongs in this government after the embarrassing way he's being doing the things that he does? is that it?

i say send him to the dogs and be done with him. no to amersand.

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Postby fuckles » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:53 pm

oh whoops my three-wheeled car fell over

ampersand
Cyril Sneer wrote:INSANE post. I could literally read it for hours.
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Postby Jarl Skeletal » Thu Sep 01, 2016 10:19 pm

aye, ampersand it is. Pit th' puir jake oot ay his misery .
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Postby bigcat » Thu Sep 01, 2016 10:35 pm

David Cameron and Nick Clegg emerge from the House of Lords to make a big announcement. They walk across the lawn to twin podiums that are an oddly far distance apart.

David Cameron harrumphs, and then addresses the crowd: "After last night's quite astonishing result, an overwhelming non-mandate for the Conservative party, Nick and I are pleased to announce we have decided to become best friends and form a coalition government."

The reporters go wild.

"Hear, hear," beams Nick Clegg. "And here in my pocket, I have the results of today's lynch vote to share with you all."

Nick Clegg reaches into his breast pocket, grabs a small scroll, unfurls it and gasps. "Dave, come here and take a gander at this!"

Image

Cameron bounds over and reads, "Six Ampersand, none opposed." Then he and Nick give each other a very firm handshake.

Image

AMPERSAND is dead. He was a laboring backbench Labour-er.

The LONG NIGHT begins now. Sleep off your General Election hangovers. Daybreak is tomorrow at 7PM EST sharp.
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Postby Ampersand » Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:19 pm

ooOooOo Blimey, I wooda made a grand Tanner ooOOooooOo
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Postby can't » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:31 am

such a waste darling. rumor has it he was gifted inthe persuasive arts darling. if i hadn't been too busy investigating this leadi would have surely been in favor of a fabulous gala during which the suspiciously fopy mud were eliminated darling
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Postby can't » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:41 am

while nothing about this investigation merits documenting; i will tell you darling, that one of us choked darling and one of us croaked sweetie
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Postby VHB » Fri Sep 02, 2016 1:02 pm

Ankh wrote:woah crickey i overslept after a real banger last night and missed the whole day? too many ciders


Yes, thanks in small part to you (and others) oversleeping longer than a narcoleptic sloth who is overly fond of ingesting barbiturates, we have errantly expelled a Labour Party member in good standing and are now closer, however incrementally, to being at the mercy of the Tories and their Brexit proposal (which is the worst stratagem on record since Jarl Olaf the Hairy commissioned 20000 Viking battle helmets with the horns on the INSIDE).

Now if you will excuse me I have to return to the past temporarily so as to find a babysitter to bring Pitt The Younger to chambers.

[Benjamin DISSraeli hops in his Time Machine, The Jerp Wrangler, and goes back to the 19th Century in search of a nanny.]
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby VHB » Fri Sep 02, 2016 1:15 pm

Which has given us a nice and narrow field of voters in which to start searching for Tories, thank you very much!

At least one of them joined in to start the momentum, no doubt.
galactagogue wrote:i usually just assume no one is into me, it makes it easier to be myself.

Suspension Bridge wrote:Werewolf was the best thing to happen to me in 2015 and that includes my wedding

bill wrote:every hooker deserves an Oscar for faking orgasms i swear to god

Kenny wrote:If you can remmeber any conversation with a cashier 30 seconds after you had it you're doing it wrong
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Postby Ampersand » Fri Sep 02, 2016 1:43 pm

(Because the Brits have a longstanding fascination with ghosts, I will now commence my contribution to the tradition by haunting VHB for the rest of the game.)

oOooOOoOoo Dissssssss MURDERER piiiiiiissssss oOOoooOoo
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Postby palmer eldritch » Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:06 pm

why stop at the end of the game
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